Speaker 1: Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex
Speaker 1: and Frooms catch up podcast. Oh my god, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: my god, you're here. Let's hit the podcast Little Freaks.
Speaker 2: This is Flex and Frooms on cater. It's Flex and
Speaker 2: Frames on cater and FLEXI I'm just gonna come out
Speaker 2: and say it. Subletting is weird and gross. I know
Speaker 2: what you're thinking. The cost of living crisis is crisising.
Speaker 2: But I was thinking about it recently and I was like,
Speaker 2: I live alone.
Speaker 1: Now it's a new it's a new moment in time.
Speaker 3: Don't tell Ted Bundy.
Speaker 1: I guess it is time to be right.
Speaker 3: I got a middle part.
Speaker 2: Okay, I could be targeted living alone. I'm like, if
Speaker 2: I go somewhere for a few weeks, I considered subletting
Speaker 2: my room until I thought about the realities of subletding,
Speaker 2: and I'm freaked out. I'm freaked out. So I have
Speaker 2: a chair that I bought, right, so it's an expensive,
Speaker 2: beautiful chair cashmere.
Speaker 1: Perhaps what's a velve velvet velvet with fringe and not
Speaker 1: the velveteer.
Speaker 2: This is a velvet moment, and I'm thinking, I'm so
Speaker 2: scared to have someone subwet in my room because they're
Speaker 2: gonna sit there farty ass on my chair, And when
Speaker 2: they're in my bed, they're gonna soak their sweat through
Speaker 2: it because there's not air conditioning. And when they're in
Speaker 2: my house, they're gonna use my la crusee to cook
Speaker 2: spaghetti and get it all stained. I just don't know, Like,
Speaker 2: let's take the money out of it for a second.
Speaker 2: How do you cope with knowing that someone is in
Speaker 2: your house?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I guess it's more so like you would be
Speaker 4: mindful of the person you're subletting, too, because I could
Speaker 4: never feel totally comfortable behaving in my homely way in
Speaker 4: somebody else's home, because I'm assuming as gross as you
Speaker 4: think the person who's coming to sleep in your house is,
Speaker 4: I'm assuming the person who lives there is gross. So
Speaker 4: I'm not getting into your pots and pants like I
Speaker 4: would own pots and pants. I'm not pickling, I'm not brining,
Speaker 4: you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: I'm just it's not fermenting.
Speaker 2: No, You're you're boiling your mooncup in like Jamie Oliver.
Speaker 4: Pits surface based experience. You know, you're changing the sheets,
Speaker 4: You're not going through drawers, You're still living out of
Speaker 4: your suit case.
Speaker 2: The moon cup is rotting in the back through it's
Speaker 2: like stained. Shut up, listen. I'm just I just like, hey,
Speaker 2: they do them rifling through my little things, grubbing.
Speaker 3: I feel like, what's happening now is you are and
Speaker 3: correct me if I'm wrong.
Speaker 1: I will.
Speaker 4: How we see the world is a reflection of how
Speaker 4: we are. So you presuming that someone's going to go
Speaker 4: in and start rifling and boiling moon cups?
Speaker 3: Dare I say? Dare I say?
Speaker 1: Dare I say? I've never used the moon carp.
Speaker 3: I would never use one.
Speaker 2: I put one up there once, okay, and ideally had
Speaker 2: to go to my friend's house who's a midwife.
Speaker 4: I got to break down break the seal you got
Speaker 4: You've got to squeeze it to break the seal. Okay,
Speaker 4: this is my gripe with the twenty first entry. You
Speaker 4: people don't like reading instructions.
Speaker 1: I read the instructions. I got it up.
Speaker 2: I tried to push it up fifteen times. It finally
Speaker 2: got up.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yes, like, hmmm, I got okay, this thing out.
Speaker 1: He always flexed brooms reset. I don't really go on Facebook.
Speaker 4: And liar liar, Sorry that was immature, very mature.
Speaker 2: I'm feeling targeted and you're being emotionally manipulative.
Speaker 5: No.
Speaker 2: I actually do go on Facebook a lot, mainly to
Speaker 2: go on Facebook Marketplace, which is a subsidiary of Facebook.
Speaker 2: I consider it very different fantastic deals on numerous house goods.
Speaker 1: Okay, Mikayla has.
Speaker 2: An anonymous assortment an informant, Yeah, a mole in other terms,
Speaker 2: who has sent him? I won't docks a suburb so
Speaker 2: they know who they are.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2: So there's a suburb group like, for example, I'm part
Speaker 2: of BONDI each local Loop. There's also Surrey Hills Local Loop, etc.
Speaker 2: The list goes on this. Let's call it poopy Poopy
Speaker 2: people of the suburb Poopy vill Someone an anonymous member rights, Hi,
Speaker 2: don't know if this is appropriate for here, but I
Speaker 2: thought i'd put it out wanting to organize an adult
Speaker 2: that's in bunny Rabbits event in poopy Land, and preferably
Speaker 2: Poopy Land residents. If it's something that appeals to you,
Speaker 2: comment and no will contact thanks now.
Speaker 4: I don't know if this is a lot of engagement.
Speaker 4: Fourteen reacts, thirty seven comments. Is that pumping for a
Speaker 4: group like this.
Speaker 3: Well.
Speaker 2: The person seemed to think so, because merely seven hours
Speaker 2: later they write, Okay, so the last post about this
Speaker 2: bunny rabbit adult event was quite hilarious and I enjoyed
Speaker 2: reading the comments. However, I was serious crying face. Yes,
Speaker 2: it is what you think.
Speaker 1: It is. Many names to call it, but I'll just
Speaker 1: call it triple X.
Speaker 3: Can I just pause for a second.
Speaker 4: This person is messaging anonymously but expecting that people with
Speaker 4: their full name and face are going to respond like
Speaker 4: earnestly to this post.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I'm bit horny even reading it, he continues. Intention not
Speaker 2: a scam, don't need payment, don't need anything. Poopy Land
Speaker 2: has some great characters. I told you it was worth
Speaker 2: calling it something else, and we thought winding down and
Speaker 2: just having a bit.
Speaker 1: Of fun is necessary in the time we're all in.
Speaker 1: I really like, what time is that?
Speaker 3: The unpresident to time?
Speaker 2: Thence wayback, I've forgotten about them. I realized I didn't
Speaker 2: respect anonymity, and if people are genuinely interested in organizing
Speaker 2: something like this, feel free to contact in the email
Speaker 2: below poopypants X at gmail dot com. Again, I enjoyed
Speaker 2: all the comments, and no this isn't a scam or
Speaker 2: anything to let loose, relax, meet new people and have
Speaker 2: a bit of fun. Take this how you wish. Okay,
Speaker 2: So now there's inter group violence. So the Poopy People
Speaker 2: group has now been implicated in another group called the
Speaker 2: pp pant which is another suburb. So poopy pant people,
Speaker 2: right the pe the ppe pants are a big man
Speaker 2: about the passion pit being organized and feel excluded and
Speaker 2: the people over in pp pants right, hey, pals. Not
Speaker 2: sure if anyone saw the recent party imitation in the
Speaker 2: poopy Pants community group, but quite frankly, I'm a bit
Speaker 2: pissed off that they excluded us. Not very neighbor of them.
Speaker 2: I'm so bored of their superiority complex. I get that
Speaker 2: they have a cheese room in their IgA.
Speaker 1: Big woop.
Speaker 2: I proposedly organize a bigger, better adult party to show
Speaker 2: them who is the better suburb.
Speaker 1: This reminds me as well. So last week I told
Speaker 1: everybody about.
Speaker 3: And fitness dating singles mixer.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the mixer that I found with the Little Flyer,
Speaker 2: and it was only for people who were fit and
Speaker 2: over the age of thirty five, which is quite upsetting
Speaker 2: to read. I personally think that These groups are a
Speaker 2: great id and it's a nice way to meet people. However,
Speaker 2: why are we so keen to hang out only with
Speaker 2: people in our local area?
Speaker 1: Is this suburb elitism?
Speaker 2: Do you think suburbalidism exists.
Speaker 5: One hundred percent? I only hang out with people in
Speaker 5: a way.
Speaker 3: Really, Oh, I hang.
Speaker 5: Out with you yeah, on the job, on the job site, on.
Speaker 3: The job site.
Speaker 4: Is it suburb elicism or practicality? Because realistically true, it's
Speaker 4: like if we're trying to organize something, that's probably going
Speaker 4: to be The key phrase is like we're just unwinding
Speaker 4: after a big day. Do I want to travel into
Speaker 4: suburb to unwind?
Speaker 3: No? I want to go down my street.
Speaker 4: I want to walk ten minutes north and commingle with
Speaker 4: my community. This neighboring suburb has proven their inferiority by
Speaker 4: being upsets that they weren't considered just make another one,
Speaker 4: But they want to make another one in spite of
Speaker 4: this suburb. You've proved you can't hang If you really
Speaker 4: were about your suburb, you say, this is a great
Speaker 4: idea from said suburb. We should do our own adult
Speaker 4: party in our wouldn't it be great of one day
Speaker 4: we could join suburbs.
Speaker 5: So my friend who sent this to me, I can
Speaker 5: confirm that they actually don't live in this suburb. They
Speaker 5: live in the neighboring suburb. And they've been lying. They
Speaker 5: tell everyone they live in Poopyville, but they actually live
Speaker 5: in Peepeville. Wow, because they are suffering from the elitism.
Speaker 1: They're a victim.
Speaker 2: There is pepe Village like, way is Poopyville way better
Speaker 2: than people it is.
Speaker 4: It's a better vibe, it's more artisanal, like, it's very neighborly,
Speaker 4: community vibe, hipster coded, whereas Pepe vill is gentrified. It's
Speaker 4: like in its earlier stages of gentrification. Okay, so it's
Speaker 4: like if you know, you know, but you're not really
Speaker 4: hanging out in pee Paville, you maybe get a good,
Speaker 4: good feed. But I can see why peaeovil Verson would
Speaker 4: lie and say they're from Poopyville.
Speaker 1: Damn.
Speaker 4: People say they live in Bondi when they live in
Speaker 4: Randi Junction.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Bondi Junction to Bondi b.
Speaker 4: You restart the junction King and it's not the same,
Speaker 4: but that's okay.
Speaker 1: And rand Week is similar similar.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, well, thank you.
Speaker 3: You're listening to Flex and Rooms on Kita.
Speaker 4: Are you emotionally untrustworthy? That's the question we're trying to
Speaker 4: figure out the answer to today on Flex and Rooms.
Speaker 4: When we hear that statement, I can assure you that
Speaker 4: you're on the defense.
Speaker 3: More not me. Not me, I'm a trustworthy person. We'll
Speaker 3: listen to this.
Speaker 6: Here's the thing with boundaries. When you're someone who says
Speaker 6: yes when you want to say no, you are actually
Speaker 6: emotionally untrustworthy. And what you just described is that Jen
Speaker 6: is emotionally trustworthy because she will tell you the truth
Speaker 6: about what she thinks, how she feels, what she wants.
Speaker 6: You're not guessing.
Speaker 4: This reminds me of a conversation for me and I
Speaker 4: had last week on air, and I was saying that
Speaker 4: I don't mind when people flake, not that it doesn't
Speaker 4: offend me, it doesn't irritate me. These things are all true,
Speaker 4: But if someone's gonna spend time with me, I want
Speaker 4: to be enthusiastic. I want it to be like a
Speaker 4: heck yes, not a begrudging Well. I said I was
Speaker 4: going to, so I'm gonna do it. And when you
Speaker 4: get there, your back is up on the wall. You're
Speaker 4: complaining about everything. You're not down and it's something that
Speaker 4: I've had to reckon with the more that I socialize
Speaker 4: with different people who don't necessarily feel kind of like
Speaker 4: an allegiance to me. You know, when your best friends
Speaker 4: like I'll do whatever because you're my best friend. Not
Speaker 4: everybody feels that close to you in the sense that
Speaker 4: they prioritize not offending you over how they actually feel.
Speaker 4: And so when I meet people who have strong boundaries
Speaker 4: in that sense, when they say, actually have work, I
Speaker 4: can't hang out, or hey, like I can't do a
Speaker 4: FaceTime right now, like I'm not feeling well, I'm like, well.
Speaker 1: It's different.
Speaker 3: It's different because it's like, yeah, I do that to people.
Speaker 4: So I'm like, yeah, I want that same thing return,
Speaker 4: and I want to know that when you say things,
Speaker 4: I can trust it. In this instance, it's way more
Speaker 4: nuanced and like do you say yes when you want
Speaker 4: to say no?
Speaker 3: Babes my boss being like.
Speaker 4: You don't you know, emotionally untrustworthy because you came in
Speaker 4: to day that your vibes weren't there.
Speaker 3: Okay, calm down.
Speaker 4: But I think we would all benefit from respecting when
Speaker 4: people tell us the truth, even when it doesn't hit
Speaker 4: like we want us to not when they're scathingly honest,
Speaker 4: but when you're like, okay, I didn't want to hear that,
Speaker 4: but thanks letting me know that you're not comfortable or
Speaker 4: that you you know, don't feel like you want to
Speaker 4: share that experience with me, Like clocked, got it?
Speaker 3: Heard?
Speaker 1: Hard to do. I feel like we do that with
Speaker 1: ease and grace.
Speaker 4: You are right because we built we built that skill
Speaker 4: in this instance, though. You know how they say how
Speaker 4: people treat you says a lot about themselves.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 4: It's really tricky when you don't know somebody well and
Speaker 4: you start to create a mental catalog of what their
Speaker 4: behavior means by using your own behavior as a reference point. Wow,
Speaker 4: that is a really dangerous territory and stuff that like
Speaker 4: we don't really like catch quick enough. So I might say, well,
Speaker 4: I would respond really quickly, why haven't they? I wouldn't,
Speaker 4: by the way, but why haven't they? Or like I
Speaker 4: would never say that, why why would they? Or if
Speaker 4: that was me, I would do this. It's like, well,
Speaker 4: that's not you. So let's find out what they're like
Speaker 4: and then measure their behavior against their own behavior.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's hard to do, so hard. Everything's hid everything.
Speaker 1: It's hard, but I'd like that consideration.
Speaker 4: Flex and Frooms on kedus Annabelle dmd us via the
Speaker 4: Flex and Rooms Instagram. At Flex and Frooms anyway, you
Speaker 4: get good instagrams, And they've said I've been thinking a
Speaker 4: lot lately about how I'm constantly reaching out to my
Speaker 4: friends to hang out and I've cast like three plus
Speaker 4: lines before someone actually takes me up on the offer.
Speaker 4: I sometimes get sad about it and just try and
Speaker 4: ignore people, but weeks and months go by and no
Speaker 4: one reaches out to me.
Speaker 3: I get that people have boyfriends and jobs. I have
Speaker 3: a life too.
Speaker 4: It's actually so annoying and I feel like I'm probably
Speaker 4: the problem. But I I don't know why. I thought
Speaker 4: this might be a topic for you to discuss. Have
Speaker 4: you experienced this casting the net and having it?
Speaker 1: Yes? I think I have.
Speaker 2: I think when I first moved to Sydney about five
Speaker 2: years ago, I didn't know that many people, and to
Speaker 2: be fair, I don't know how good I was to
Speaker 2: be around.
Speaker 1: I would reach out a lot.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't say that I had like a stable group
Speaker 2: of friends for quite a long while.
Speaker 1: Of living here.
Speaker 2: But I also like, wasn't that fun to hang with,
Speaker 2: Like I wouldn't eat with people I like, didn't stay
Speaker 2: out really late, I wouldn't drink like I kind of
Speaker 2: did all these things that weren't conducive to like making
Speaker 2: better bonds with people. So I can personally pin it
Speaker 2: on my own behavior. However, I also know what it's
Speaker 2: like for people to move and like get harder jobs,
Speaker 2: get partners, and we are if you're a similar age
Speaker 2: to us, a lot of people do have partners and
Speaker 2: do have jobs that are a bit more stressful than
Speaker 2: when we were, say twenty two, in different ways.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't feel too bad about it. I know it's frustrating.
Speaker 2: I used to sometimes feel like something was wrong with me,
Speaker 2: but I also think you need to know that like
Speaker 2: a lot of the time it is circumstance and things change.
Speaker 2: Like there's been times in my life I've spoken about
Speaker 2: this where like I didn't feel like I had enough
Speaker 2: people to hang out with, but then other times I have.
Speaker 1: An overflow of people.
Speaker 2: I think sometimes you need to voice things because sometimes
Speaker 2: people don't realize how many times you're reaching out, Like
Speaker 2: I've done a thing.
Speaker 1: I remember when I moved to Sydney.
Speaker 2: A few other girls had just moved up from Melbourne.
Speaker 2: I think that a group chat and I was like why,
Speaker 2: Like I said something, I'm like, is there like a
Speaker 2: group chat that I can be part of to know
Speaker 2: what you guys are doing because I feel lonely? And
Speaker 2: they took it on board and we started a group
Speaker 2: chat that we still have.
Speaker 1: I'm someone who will bring up when.
Speaker 2: They feel socially excluded. I've always been good at that.
Speaker 2: Give people the benefit of the doubt, give people the
Speaker 2: opportunity to say, oh no, actually, like even if they're lying,
Speaker 2: let them know how you're feeling.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would say someone on the other end of
Speaker 4: the spectrum. I used to presume that people who would
Speaker 4: reach out first just wanted to socialize more than I did.
Speaker 4: It kind of often feels like when someone's constantly reaching
Speaker 4: out and you don't have that kind of reciprocated friendship,
Speaker 4: that it's just another person. I'm like the people to
Speaker 4: ask to do stuff. Also begs the question like, not
Speaker 4: all friendship and acquaintance ships are made equally. Are you
Speaker 4: the same tier of friendship as the people you're reaching
Speaker 4: out to and are you the same level of priority
Speaker 4: and you're not going to know exactly, but you kind
Speaker 4: of get a vibe like, for me, I'm in my
Speaker 4: outside era. I want to be going out. I'm not
Speaker 4: trying to drag my homebody people to do that with me.
Speaker 4: I have to make new party friends, new going out friends,
Speaker 4: reach out to people that I've never reached out to
Speaker 4: before and said, hey, like, let's run on this weekend?
Speaker 4: Can I get a plus one? And that's what you
Speaker 4: have to do. So if your current cohort really aren't
Speaker 4: reciprocating my energy, I swear to you there are people
Speaker 4: who are.
Speaker 1: I like that.
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