Speaker 1: I feel like we were lower last time. Well you
Speaker 1: would think that, Brittany, wouldn't you. I'm pretty sure I
Speaker 1: think it's fuck Hi guys, and welcome back to another
Speaker 1: episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura and I'm the other host, Brittany.
Speaker 2: Hi, Brittany, my cheeks are already hurt from Oh god,
Speaker 2: it's been a real today.
Speaker 1: Guys.
Speaker 2: Guys, Happy Tuesday. We have a real ripper episode for
Speaker 2: you today. Is what britt was trying to say. Today,
Speaker 2: we're talking about something that sounds a little bit boring,
Speaker 2: but I guarantee you it's not going to be. We're
Speaker 2: going to be talking about finance in relationships.
Speaker 1: Now, wake up, don't go to sleep yet. We think
Speaker 1: this is actually going to be a really great topic.
Speaker 2: I put some feelers out on Instagram, and can I
Speaker 2: say I have actually never had more interest in any
Speaker 2: of my stories that I have ever put up than
Speaker 2: I have had when I put a relationship finance question up.
Speaker 1: It was unbelievable. Show me the money, honey.
Speaker 2: I just couldn't believe how many people were actually passionate
Speaker 2: about it. So many people wrote to me saying I'm
Speaker 2: so excited for this episode. My husband and I bigger
Speaker 2: about this all the time. I can't wait to see
Speaker 2: what people have said, Like, the interest was incredible.
Speaker 1: I didn't expect it.
Speaker 2: Well, it's definitely something that causes a lot of friction
Speaker 2: in a lot of relationships. So I'm super stoked to
Speaker 2: get into this as well. But before we get into
Speaker 2: the topic, we've got a few other things we need
Speaker 2: to you know, housekeeping.
Speaker 1: We've got to check off the list. Brett, how's your day,
Speaker 1: how's your week being? Where are you being?
Speaker 2: I mean, grandhog Day, really, isn't it? My week's been
Speaker 2: pretty good, pretty uneventful. I actually, well, I'm moving. I
Speaker 2: secured a new little house on the weekend, and so
Speaker 2: that's exciting. I have two weeks to wrap up my
Speaker 2: whole life and prepare.
Speaker 1: A new life.
Speaker 2: How did you tell your current housemate that you're moving out?
Speaker 2: It always comes with some sort of like just trepidation
Speaker 2: and fear.
Speaker 1: It does.
Speaker 2: And I'm not moving out for any reason other than
Speaker 2: I want my own space. I wanted I just it
Speaker 2: was time for something a bit different in my life.
Speaker 1: I wanted something.
Speaker 2: Creative, I wanted a new energy, and I wanted to
Speaker 2: live alone.
Speaker 1: So I just shot them a message.
Speaker 2: Really took that on in the most non confrontational ways.
Speaker 2: Don't break up with your boyfriend via text, but break
Speaker 2: up with your housemates via text.
Speaker 1: That's really healthy.
Speaker 2: I okay, let me explain myself. Yeah, I hate confrontation,
Speaker 2: but I don't see this as confrontation. I just see
Speaker 2: this as the only reason I sent a message was
Speaker 2: because I am at home. They're working long hours, and
Speaker 2: I was like, I just want to I just want
Speaker 2: to tell them. So I was like, Hey, just letting
Speaker 2: you know my Daham has come. See your bitches like,
Speaker 2: it's not you, it's me.
Speaker 1: That's where to go. It really was me.
Speaker 2: I like the place and the people have been amazing.
Speaker 2: I've been there for about fifteen months. Love it beautiful house.
Speaker 2: But it's just time for my next chapter. So I
Speaker 2: actually own nothing, not one thing. I have to furnish
Speaker 2: a whole house. And I don't know if you remember
Speaker 2: how hard that is. You've probably accumulated stuff over the years.
Speaker 2: I when I was poor, I used to just get
Speaker 2: things off the side of the road.
Speaker 1: There's one for you, daily Mail.
Speaker 2: I have so much of my furniture up until very recently,
Speaker 2: when I moved in with Matt, so much of my
Speaker 2: furniture was from council cleanups. We live in the Eastern Suburbs,
Speaker 2: so we live very close to an area that's called
Speaker 2: belvy Hill, and belvy Hill is where all the stinking
Speaker 2: rich people in Sydney live and they put such good
Speaker 2: stuff out on.
Speaker 1: The side of the road.
Speaker 2: It's such an affluent area that the things on the
Speaker 2: side of the road here are like some people's dreams.
Speaker 2: Before we moved into this apartment, we actually lived with
Speaker 2: two housemates. So when I was pregnant, we live with
Speaker 2: two housemates and we lived in Yeah. When I'm looking
Speaker 2: at you, yeah, I know, because I think that, you know,
Speaker 2: people kind of normally think when you're pregnant, you take
Speaker 2: this really traditional linear path towards like a normal relationship.
Speaker 1: Matt and I did not at all.
Speaker 2: So when I was pregnant, Matt and I lived with
Speaker 2: his two best friends, Lisa and Ed. We lived sort
Speaker 2: of in South BONDI and I prior to that had
Speaker 2: lived with my housemates. So when I actually found out
Speaker 2: I was pregnant, we weren't living together. We were living
Speaker 2: separately still, and then we moved in together. This yeah
Speaker 2: wild right, The daff and not even living together controversial.
Speaker 1: I can't believe I haven't shared that yet. Yes, we
Speaker 1: live in.
Speaker 2: Sin guys, we're still not married banking on baby number two.
Speaker 1: At least you got a ring, now, that's true. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's trying to make an honest woman myself. Bo we
Speaker 1: never actually make the wedding. But the point of.
Speaker 2: This story is is that when we moved in together,
Speaker 2: Matt accidentally threw away the top of my coffee table,
Speaker 2: the coffee table that I found about seven years ago
Speaker 2: on the side of the road.
Speaker 1: He threw it away by accident. He thought it was garbage,
Speaker 1: and I was so attached that said so much.
Speaker 2: I was so attached to this copy table that we
Speaker 2: had a full blown fight about it.
Speaker 1: So there you go, guys.
Speaker 2: If you're really in need of some furniture, I recommend
Speaker 2: Bellevue Health. That is actually so funny. Imagine thinking it
Speaker 2: was trash and that's why you threw it out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, anyway, well trashed the treasure.
Speaker 2: Well anyway, besides from a moving house and trying to
Speaker 2: organize that part of my life, something just happened to me.
Speaker 2: It was so funny, but also it was so painful.
Speaker 2: I was in tears, literally, Laura, as I was coming here.
Speaker 2: So it's been pouring all day.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 2: I had this house that's quite big and open, and
Speaker 2: from the front door in it's all polished concrete. The
Speaker 2: rain had come underneath my front door and I couldn't
Speaker 2: see it, and it was like all over the concrete.
Speaker 2: And I went sort of like skip, hop, run, jumping,
Speaker 2: like I don't know something that Brittany would do.
Speaker 1: Why are you doing that? Why do I do anything?
Speaker 2: So I'm sort of doing this thing to get out
Speaker 2: the front door, and I hit the water and one
Speaker 2: leg goes one way and the other leg goes the
Speaker 2: other way. The front leg smashes into the front door.
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure I've broken my toes. The other leg,
Speaker 2: I've rolled my ankle, and then my arm has smashed into.
Speaker 1: This hook on the wall and you saw my arm. Lore,
Speaker 1: I've got like this.
Speaker 2: Big blood scratch up it. I start crying, rolling around
Speaker 2: the on the ground in the water.
Speaker 1: Still I've got wet pants. It's like. It was a
Speaker 1: very dramatic scene.
Speaker 2: And this is the real reason why you should all
Speaker 2: stay inside and stay safe.
Speaker 1: Got nothing to do with Corona.
Speaker 2: That just happened and I guess what else can update
Speaker 2: you on? Oh, I do have another update. This is
Speaker 2: how exciting my life is, guys. So the last thing
Speaker 2: I have to update is I, like the rest of
Speaker 2: the world, have been making banana bread. I make it
Speaker 2: every day. Okay, that's a lie. I make it once
Speaker 2: a week, love it. But today I just went super
Speaker 2: rogue and I put heaps of KitKat in the banana bread.
Speaker 1: And I feel like that's newsworthy for me because nothing
Speaker 1: else has happened. How is that new story? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: that's it. It doesn't get better. I was just it.
Speaker 2: It was delicious, though, I mean, I understand why it's
Speaker 2: a highlight, like it's pretty exciting, but at the same time,
Speaker 2: it's also not a highlight for the rest of Australia.
Speaker 1: Actually, do you know what I realized. I'm sorry, I'll work.
Speaker 1: I'll work on my ISO stories. Lawrence, what's happening in
Speaker 1: my life?
Speaker 2: I was saying this to Matt, so Matt was listening.
Speaker 2: When I was doing the editing on our last podcast.
Speaker 2: Matt walked in and one of something I had said.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, you know, when this goes out
Speaker 2: on like a national podcast, and Matt turns around to.
Speaker 1: Me and he's like, this is an a national podcast,
Speaker 1: it's an international podcast.
Speaker 2: And it may be really it's true, I'm an idiot. Yeah,
Speaker 2: this isn't just people from Australia who are listening to this.
Speaker 2: This is an international podcast. And I say a lot
Speaker 2: of really dumb shit. Does it matter if the dumb
Speaker 2: shit you have said only reaches Australians or reaches Americans
Speaker 2: or Norwegians, Like, does that matter?
Speaker 1: It's just I think it's because it's a lot of
Speaker 1: broadcasting of my personal life. Guys.
Speaker 2: Well, we do have listeners writing from Norway and Sweden,
Speaker 2: Canada and America, so they are out there. Actually, I
Speaker 2: did see the other day that we'd gone up twenty
Speaker 2: five places in Hungry. So if you're in Budapest and
Speaker 2: you're listening to us, I'm here for you because if
Speaker 2: I feel like if I were a country, I would
Speaker 2: be hungry.
Speaker 1: That was so bad that it was excellent. I loved
Speaker 1: every second of it, all right, shout out to Hungry Anyway,
Speaker 1: how was your week?
Speaker 2: Well, look, I gave you a bit of flak for
Speaker 2: talking about your kit Cat banana bread, but do you
Speaker 2: know what happened to me this week. Okay, two things.
Speaker 2: I've got two things to tell you. One thing is
Speaker 2: that Maley is teething. And if you're a parent, I
Speaker 2: really highly recommend don't do it.
Speaker 1: Just skip it.
Speaker 2: Don't parent, don't go through the teething phase. I reckon,
Speaker 2: just miss it. Blend their food until they're eighteen. Like
Speaker 2: fuck teeth, kids do not need them.
Speaker 1: They are a waste of time. Had teeth is actually
Speaker 1: that cute. It's like one meal long.
Speaker 2: Marley woke up every forty five minutes all through the night,
Speaker 2: or twenty minute, two half an hour at a time,
Speaker 2: like screaming. I have not had a night like this.
Speaker 2: She was a newborn. She was like paining, consolable and
Speaker 2: like gnashing her teeth and trying to scratch my face.
Speaker 2: I was like, this is this is the spawn of Satan,
Speaker 2: this is a demon choice. My child is in the
Speaker 2: Exorcist right now. It was just one bad, bad night
Speaker 2: of teething. But since then, every single night has been
Speaker 2: super disruptive. But then all of a sudden, a little
Speaker 2: slither of a second truths popped up.
Speaker 1: It's so cute.
Speaker 2: I can't even And then I was like, holy shit,
Speaker 2: we've got thirty six more of these to go.
Speaker 1: I love that I came in tonight. Marley's sitting on
Speaker 1: the lounge really chill, holding a toothbrush, and I'm like, babe,
Speaker 1: like one mill long, what are you brushing? We're teaching
Speaker 1: an oral hygiene. It's very very important, guys.
Speaker 2: Second thing that I'm going to tell you about may
Speaker 2: indicate that you probably shouldn't take finance advice from me,
Speaker 2: but also it was a win advice.
Speaker 1: Brittany, all right, don't take English advice from right? I
Speaker 1: love you, love you, so I told you, guys.
Speaker 2: Ages go about this minor preying that I had in
Speaker 2: my car where I ran into my ex boyfriend's current
Speaker 2: or slash very recently ex girlfriend, right, Like, something that
Speaker 2: shouldn't happen to anyone ever happened to me.
Speaker 1: Well, I love trying car crash? You want? Is it? No? Look,
Speaker 1: my relationship with him was enough of a car crash.
Speaker 2: I definitely didn't need to run into his current girlfriend
Speaker 2: in my freaking car. I got a letter from Nrama
Speaker 2: saying that I needed to pay for the damages, which
Speaker 2: came as a bit of a surprise to me because
Speaker 2: when I had spoken to GOEO. They had told me
Speaker 2: that it was kind of mutually both our faults and anyway,
Speaker 2: so that stuff's boring, sure, but I called GOEO today
Speaker 2: to try and sort out what was happening, and then
Speaker 2: I found out that they had launched the claim against
Speaker 2: a car that I owned five years ago, and for
Speaker 2: the past five years I have been paying CTP insurance
Speaker 2: on a car that I don't own. Insane, How do
Speaker 2: you not do you? Was it like a monthly deduction
Speaker 2: or were you paying annually with that? Like?
Speaker 1: How are you paying that?
Speaker 2: It was like just a direct debit that just constantly
Speaker 2: came out of my bank account, and then when I
Speaker 2: needed to renew it would call up and renew it
Speaker 2: on the phone. And of course when I sold that car,
Speaker 2: I told them I didn't want it anymore. I told
Speaker 2: them I didn't have it. I told them I didn't
Speaker 2: need to ensure it, and somewhere along the paper train
Speaker 2: that didn't exist. Because everything's done on the internet now,
Speaker 2: I just didn't read the details, and so I got
Speaker 2: reimbursed a shit ton of money today, so us, Yeah,
Speaker 2: it was a kind of weird situation that turned into
Speaker 2: a bonus.
Speaker 1: However, five years of forced savings.
Speaker 2: Yeah, look, I wouldn't recommend it, but I am now
Speaker 2: going to tell you how to navigate your financial love
Speaker 2: life if you're still with us.
Speaker 1: Before we jump into that.
Speaker 2: I want to follow up something from last week, and
Speaker 2: I think the week before it's been ongoing that Celeste
Speaker 2: Barber and her fundraiser. It was sort of on the
Speaker 2: fence with what was going to happen with the fifty
Speaker 2: one million. Was it actually going to be able to
Speaker 2: be dispersed or was it going to be stuck in
Speaker 2: this one charity? And it has come out that it
Speaker 2: cannot be spread, it cannot be dispersed, and it has
Speaker 2: sustained the one charity.
Speaker 1: I'm so disappointed.
Speaker 2: Well, we were talking about this in last podcast and
Speaker 2: how how like conversation around this was like, there's no
Speaker 2: possible way that it's going to have a ruling where
Speaker 2: it's not going to end up being redistributed out to
Speaker 2: other charities and to families and firefighters and everyone else
Speaker 2: who has been affected by what happened earlier this year.
Speaker 2: We were just so certain, which I think, like, I mean,
Speaker 2: there's there's an issue in that we should never be
Speaker 2: certain of anything before it actually comes to fruition. But
Speaker 2: it's yeah, they've come out now and they've said that no,
Speaker 2: that fifty one million dollars has to go to the RFS,
Speaker 2: and it has to be distributed throughout the trust and
Speaker 2: through the services that the RFS specialize in, like it
Speaker 2: can be used on administration costs, it can be used
Speaker 2: on training, it can be used on equipment, it can
Speaker 2: be used for therapy and for the firefighters and their
Speaker 2: families who lost their lives during what happened earlier in January.
Speaker 1: But it cannot be distributed.
Speaker 2: Or evenly dispersed throughout any other charities in Australia. And
Speaker 2: I just feel I.
Speaker 1: Feel a little bit angry about it, Guys.
Speaker 2: I feel like it's personal because so many people were
Speaker 2: they emotionally and financially invested in that, and they were
Speaker 2: doing it because they really really believed that their money
Speaker 2: was going to go to all these people and all
Speaker 2: these states and all these animals and like every single
Speaker 2: person or situation that was affected by the fires. And
Speaker 2: to hear now, I get that this is legislation, I
Speaker 2: get that there's a dotted line that we signed on,
Speaker 2: but have a bit of compassion and almost use your
Speaker 2: heart a little bit. I guess, I guess like, look,
Speaker 2: I mean, it's definitely not the rfs's fault, like they
Speaker 2: have they have come to the table and they are
Speaker 2: trying to find ways to better distribute the money, but
Speaker 2: the High Court has ruled that that's not a possibility.
Speaker 2: The issue I guess I have with it is it
Speaker 2: doesn't lie with Celeste Barber. I think that she's an
Speaker 2: incredible woman. We all know that her intention was so
Speaker 2: pure and that it came from a place of wanting
Speaker 2: to do everything that she possibly could to make a
Speaker 2: difference in a time where so many people were suffering
Speaker 2: and so many people were so horribly affected. The problem is,
Speaker 2: as much as it's said on the go fundme page,
Speaker 2: it was very black and white. It said the money
Speaker 2: that was raised would be going to the r r However,
Speaker 2: Celeste Barber then got on her social media, which at
Speaker 2: that point in time had seven million or so followers,
Speaker 2: and she promised that it would be distributed to other charities.
Speaker 2: And I think that that's where this conversation really has
Speaker 2: a bit of a social and moral implications, because this
Speaker 2: promise was made and then she continued to encourage people
Speaker 2: to continue to donate under the promise that it would
Speaker 2: be redistributed evenly. You know, maybe there needs to be
Speaker 2: some reconsideration as to how it's distributed. And Britta and
Speaker 2: I were talking earlier and I was like, surely, surely
Speaker 2: they could have created an email or like an email
Speaker 2: petition where an email gets sent out to every single
Speaker 2: person who donated to that GoFundMe page and it's literally like, hey, guys,
Speaker 2: you're from Australia. You fucking know what's going on because
Speaker 2: everyone does, and this is all over the news at
Speaker 2: the moment. Do you want your ten dollar contribution to
Speaker 2: go to several different charities?
Speaker 1: Please? Tick?
Speaker 2: Which charities? Do you want it to only go to
Speaker 2: the RFS? Like, I feel like that could have beat
Speaker 2: a solution to this. Also, I think Celeste is such
Speaker 2: an incredible woman and what she has done is incredible
Speaker 2: and it pains me a little bit to see her
Speaker 2: go through this because she's copped a lot of slack
Speaker 2: for it, like people some people are saying almost like
Speaker 2: it was intentional. You could see from her that she honestly,
Speaker 2: from the bottom of her heart, believed it was going
Speaker 2: to be spread evenly. There's no way she would have
Speaker 2: encouraged people from around the world to donate that amount
Speaker 2: of money thinking that it would be going to one place.
Speaker 2: She really really believed that it was going to be
Speaker 2: spread out evenly. And I my heart breaks for a
Speaker 2: little bit because she's copped a lot of slack. She
Speaker 2: has fought it tooth and nail. She's done everything she
Speaker 2: possibly can, So we still need to take our hat
Speaker 2: off to her. And I don't know, I'm I'm definitely
Speaker 2: a bit deflated and a bit disappointed.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm with you, Britt.
Speaker 2: Like I think it's so important to not point the
Speaker 2: finger at someone who has done everything that they possibly
Speaker 2: can to do what they thought was the right thing,
Speaker 2: because all that's going to do is discourage other people
Speaker 2: in the future to put their hand up to try
Speaker 2: and raise money for really important causes. I think this
Speaker 2: is a huge lesson to learn, maybe that when there
Speaker 2: is legislation in place, that that laws of laws, rules
Speaker 2: of rules, and sometimes they can't be broken regardless of
Speaker 2: whatever social influence you have. But I do genuinely believe
Speaker 2: that her intentions were so pure and so incredible, and
Speaker 2: that she should not be copying the brunt for any
Speaker 2: of this anyway.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the news room with Britain Laura.
Speaker 2: Now it's time to get into accidentally unfiltered or.
Speaker 1: In this case, accidentally vomited. Oh god, Yeah, guys.
Speaker 2: Last week we put a call out after my disgusting
Speaker 2: story where I vomited through the fly screen and brit
Speaker 2: vomiting up a kebab. We shouldn't have done that because
Speaker 2: you guys are fucked up. You're a bunch of sicos
Speaker 2: for sure. No, look, we put a call out. We
Speaker 2: were just on the spot. We were just saying, hey,
Speaker 2: have you guys ever done something that's so ridiculous and
Speaker 2: embarrassing on our first date and you've continued to date.
Speaker 1: That was the question. It could have been anything, but
Speaker 1: all we got was vomit. Ye take hundreds of followed questions.
Speaker 2: But I mean, I do think that we were kind
Speaker 2: of to blame with that, Like both our stories were
Speaker 2: vomit stories.
Speaker 1: But guys, I'm not even I'm not even exaggerating.
Speaker 2: We have received hundreds of messages over the past week
Speaker 2: with your disgusting vomit stories.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we've had hours of laughter, but I want to
Speaker 1: kick it off hours lols.
Speaker 2: So many of them with a Lolla derby all around
Speaker 2: here was I definitely needed some panel hol bad run out.
Speaker 2: I'm going to kick it off with actually a message
Speaker 2: I got from my dad just yesterday. Hey big tones,
Speaker 2: we're miss This is a message. Hey babe, just listened
Speaker 2: to both epps from last week during my workout this morning.
Speaker 1: Good staying in shape.
Speaker 2: Any yeah, anyway, just about Laura's vomit story, it really
Speaker 2: resonated with me because once a long, long time ago,
Speaker 2: we had a wardrobe with sliding doors right next to
Speaker 2: the on suite which also had sliding doors. And Yep,
Speaker 2: one night, I was very drunk and I needed to
Speaker 2: get to the on sweet quick. I remember just getting
Speaker 2: the door open before I coded what I thought? What
Speaker 2: was Yon Suite in my vomit? My projectile vomit. Now
Speaker 2: imagine my puzzlement when the next morning I went to
Speaker 2: clean up beyond suite to find it was completely untouched.
Speaker 2: And my horror when I went to get my workshow
Speaker 2: from the wardrobe.
Speaker 1: Made me laugh. Our lad thinking of it, Your mum
Speaker 1: not so much.
Speaker 2: Oh Papa, Tony bless you, Tony bless you.
Speaker 1: Is that the one that you're reading or did you
Speaker 1: have no just and I wanted to read it. Do
Speaker 1: we want to do multiple vomit stories? I want to
Speaker 1: read one more.
Speaker 2: Yet I feel gross already, so I need to go
Speaker 2: on to say that like that happened with mum and
Speaker 2: dad and they have been together for forty two years.
Speaker 1: So that was success.
Speaker 2: Out of the out of the hundreds of vomit stories
Speaker 2: we did receive, guys, I had picked one that really
Speaker 2: stood out to me.
Speaker 1: I guess to maybe because it made my skin crawl
Speaker 1: a little bit. Here we go.
Speaker 2: When I first met my now fiance, we would go
Speaker 2: out for long dinners followed by drinks late into the
Speaker 2: night at multiple bars.
Speaker 1: One night, very.
Speaker 2: Early on in to seeing each other, we headed home
Speaker 2: after a huge night out and I thought it would
Speaker 2: be super hot and sexy to have a bath together.
Speaker 1: I was so.
Speaker 2: Drunk and I started to feel really unwell, and I
Speaker 2: couldn't hold it back any longer. I vomited up all
Speaker 2: of the pasta and red wine into the bar. You
Speaker 2: cannot imagine the color of the water and the chunks
Speaker 2: floating everywhere. He's sitting opposite me. He got me out,
Speaker 2: chunks covered everywhere, showered me, and put me in my pajamas.
Speaker 1: That was five years ago.
Speaker 2: We had to cancel our wedding due to COVID this year,
Speaker 2: but we have been engaged.
Speaker 1: For a year. It's actually so rank.
Speaker 2: So romantic. Guys like I just you know what a picture.
Speaker 2: That's a good man who stands by you.
Speaker 1: No, you know what? You know? You throw that fish
Speaker 1: chunks to sharks. What's it called? It's like chuck chucks.
Speaker 1: Thanks for that image.
Speaker 2: I have one, accidentally unfiltered that has nothing to do
Speaker 2: with vomit, and can I just I'm just gonna put
Speaker 2: this out there. If you have a vomit story, do
Speaker 2: not send it to us. I don't want to read anymore.
Speaker 2: Keep that to yourself and bury. But this one I
Speaker 2: quite liked and had a really really good chuckle over.
Speaker 2: I am a fully grown adult, and I moved home
Speaker 2: to be with my family during COVID, So you know what,
Speaker 2: I'm thirty two and I live with my parents. Anyway,
Speaker 2: this one day I was sat home alone. Everyone else
Speaker 2: was out in dogwalk and I was pretending like I
Speaker 2: was going to study. Bored and horny, so I decided
Speaker 2: to stick on some pawn. My family had just left,
Speaker 2: so I figured, you know, what. I've got some time
Speaker 2: to myself. But boy, was I wrong.
Speaker 1: I love me.
Speaker 2: I was midway through my meantime when I saw something
Speaker 2: out the corner of my eye. I look up and
Speaker 2: I see the biggest fucking spider I've ever seen in
Speaker 2: my entire life, Like think the size of a computer mouse,
Speaker 2: and it's lowering itself from the ceiling. I let out
Speaker 2: the most blood curdling, ground shaking scream that I could
Speaker 2: possibly muster, and at that very second.
Speaker 1: My door flies open.
Speaker 2: My father run him holding a dog collar and looks
Speaker 2: eyes for me.
Speaker 1: He's innocent. Yeah, girl, butt naked sprawling across her.
Speaker 2: Bed with one hand on over vagina. He slowly backs out,
Speaker 2: closes the door, doesn't say a word, and the look
Speaker 2: of pure horror on his face was remarkable.
Speaker 1: That's do you know what? I think The funniest thing
Speaker 1: is Wait is more.
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure he must have come home for the
Speaker 2: spared dog collar that we keep in the cupboard next
Speaker 2: to my bedroom, and then he heard me scream, but
Speaker 2: because I was wearing earphones, I didn't hear him come in.
Speaker 2: They have been home for hours now and.
Speaker 1: I haven't left my room.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna post you guys an update if I don't
Speaker 2: die from embarrassment.
Speaker 1: The funny thing was.
Speaker 2: When you're reading that story and you're like, until I
Speaker 2: realized I wasn't home alone, and then you said the
Speaker 2: spider was lowering itself from the roof. I'm like, girl,
Speaker 2: get alivee A spider watching you massurbate is not a
Speaker 2: big deal. That's where I thought the story was going,
Speaker 2: Like the spider corner like sprung.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I just love this so much.
Speaker 2: I just love that she got full button ache and
Speaker 2: to masturbate, Like, what's wrong with just.
Speaker 1: Putting your hands down your pairs? She needs the freedom.
Speaker 2: That's a lot of effort. It's more effort than I
Speaker 2: go to but I'm pretty lazy. Let's be around a guys. Well,
Speaker 2: on that note, I think it's time for us to
Speaker 2: dive into the topic of today, guys talking money in
Speaker 2: a relationship. It is generally not a very sexy topic.
Speaker 2: And I don't know about you, but it puts me
Speaker 2: to sleep. Direct Devin interest free joint bank account.
Speaker 1: We said it's not sexy, so I'm trying to make
Speaker 1: it a real sexy.
Speaker 2: Okay, you definitely didn't, but thanks, but nonetheless, guys, it
Speaker 2: is boring. It's definitely not sexy, even though Laura tries
Speaker 2: to make it sexy. But it is important and it
Speaker 2: is something that has to be discussed at some point
Speaker 2: in your relationship in order to have a healthy, open, ongoing,
Speaker 2: and long term relationship. Whether or not you guys want
Speaker 2: to talk about it, we're going to.
Speaker 1: Double penetration, I mean jewel income. How are we thinking
Speaker 1: of it?
Speaker 2: Was a while no, but honestly, guys, of finances and
Speaker 2: fighting about finance is one of the biggest biggest hurdles
Speaker 2: in a relationship. I think it's like cheating is like
Speaker 2: the number one reason why people break up, and the
Speaker 2: second one to that is finance.
Speaker 1: And maybe it doesn't seem like a.
Speaker 2: Big deal when you're young and you know you're just
Speaker 2: getting into a relationship, but you know what, as you
Speaker 2: start to mature that relationship, as you guys get older,
Speaker 2: as you have more responsibilities and you know, just life everything,
Speaker 2: there's more pressures that come with age, and there's more
Speaker 2: pressures that come with commitment.
Speaker 1: That's when you're.
Speaker 2: Savings, your ability to save, the way that you guys
Speaker 2: do with money, the way that you view money, the
Speaker 2: way that you put your money together and what's mine
Speaker 2: is yours or yours is mine, or mine and yours
Speaker 2: is ours. That was a lot of things going on there,
Speaker 2: But you know what I mean, I'm more like, what
Speaker 2: yours is mine, what's mine is mine, So don't take
Speaker 2: but that all will massively impact your ability to communicate
Speaker 2: it or massively impact your ability to have a happy,
Speaker 2: long and fulfilling relationship. So that's why we thought it
Speaker 2: was really important, and we wanted to kind of break
Speaker 2: it down and talk about a few different aspects of it,
Speaker 2: like when do you have that conversation with your partner
Speaker 2: about opening a joint bank account, and how do you
Speaker 2: manage your finances when you move from being just newly
Speaker 2: dating to being a married couple when you have dependents
Speaker 2: like kids, So that we're going to kind of unpack
Speaker 2: a few aspects of this.
Speaker 1: I found it so interesting.
Speaker 2: And I know that we joke and we say it's
Speaker 2: a boring topic, it actually isn't that boring once you
Speaker 2: Once I put the feelers out and I was asking
Speaker 2: some questions from our Instagram listeners, and once I did
Speaker 2: my own research, it's quite interesting the way people do things,
Speaker 2: the way they break it down the way people like
Speaker 2: in the relationship. One couple thinks that something should be
Speaker 2: done one way and the other couple things it should
Speaker 2: be done the other way. And also, I guess, like
Speaker 2: what we want to just kind of preface before we
Speaker 2: really get into this is that there isn't one hard
Speaker 2: and fast rule for how this should be. There's so
Speaker 2: many colors of gray to like what works for different relationships.
Speaker 2: There are definitely some hard and fast rules, like obviously
Speaker 2: you never want to be in a relationship where someone
Speaker 2: is using money as a way of having control or
Speaker 2: as a power play in a relationship, But there are
Speaker 2: multiple healthy ways for you to deal with money in
Speaker 2: a relationship. So we just want to make sure that,
Speaker 2: like you guys know, like we don't think that there
Speaker 2: is a black and white way of doing things. We're
Speaker 2: just kind of giving you some best case scenarios and
Speaker 2: some options if this is a conversation that you're ready
Speaker 2: to have with your partner, or it's something that you're
Speaker 2: struggling with right now.
Speaker 1: I found it really interesting when I looked at this.
Speaker 2: Studies have shown that most couples do not know what
Speaker 2: is going on in their partner's finances. It's been shown
Speaker 2: that thirty percent of people don't know their partner's salary,
Speaker 2: which I find mind boggling because I think that if
Speaker 2: I was in a relationship to the point of wanting
Speaker 2: to buy a house, or getting married or saving for
Speaker 2: a wedding, I would want to know what my partnerns
Speaker 2: I think. I mean, guys, I'm not in a long
Speaker 2: term relationship. I have been before, and I have known
Speaker 2: what he earned. I just can't imagine being with someone
Speaker 2: and having no idea what they were bringing home. Well,
Speaker 2: I think of it like a lows my mind that
Speaker 2: there are couples that don't know. But I guess it
Speaker 2: also comes down to I think this comes when there
Speaker 2: can be a big discrepancy between someone's income. So, for example,
Speaker 2: just say you're dating someone and they earn way more
Speaker 2: than you like. You know that they earn a shit
Speaker 2: ton of money, but you don't really know how much money.
Speaker 2: I think that that's when this conversation is sometimes kept
Speaker 2: a bit private. Maybe it's kept because whoever it is
Speaker 2: that's earning more money doesn't want to be fully disclosing
Speaker 2: of it because one they don't want to feel like
Speaker 2: they're having to pay for every single thing, or they're
Speaker 2: not wanting the person to like want to be with
Speaker 2: them from their financial perspective. But I do think that
Speaker 2: if you're in a really committed relationship where you have
Speaker 2: really open dialogue and you talk about everything, which is
Speaker 2: what you're supposed to be doing, then finances is part
Speaker 2: of that and you should kind of know what somebody
Speaker 2: is earning in the beginning, in the early days of dating,
Speaker 2: getting to know someone. I don't think it's anyone's business
Speaker 2: what you're earning, and I think you sort of navigate
Speaker 2: that on your your own terms. Maybe you paid it
Speaker 2: in a last week, I'll get this week. It's not
Speaker 2: about you earn more than me, so you're paying for more.
Speaker 2: But definitely down the track when you move in together
Speaker 2: and you get married and you need to start budgeting
Speaker 2: for your life i e. Children and houses, paying bills,
Speaker 2: maybe you're a stay at home mum, you definitely need
Speaker 2: to know then, and not even just that like holidays
Speaker 2: and dinners and like the fun shit that you guys do.
Speaker 2: You kind of need to know that because we.
Speaker 1: Need to know what you bringing in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and if you're always going out for like fancy dinners,
Speaker 2: and one of you is actually living above their means
Speaker 2: and they can't really afford it, and the other one
Speaker 2: is earning bank and can afford it. Then like you
Speaker 2: need to make sure that you're kind of contributing to
Speaker 2: that evenly, and evenly doesn't always mean fifty to fifty
Speaker 2: split monetarily down the middle. It is super tricky to navigate,
Speaker 2: and it does change throughout the whole relationship. So from
Speaker 2: the beginning when you just start dating, to when you
Speaker 2: do decide to get more serious, and then you move
Speaker 2: in together, and then you get married, and then you
Speaker 2: have kids, it all changes.
Speaker 1: So we're gonna go and start back at the very beginning,
Speaker 1: and that is we have touched on it in a
Speaker 1: previous episode, but I just think we need to bundle
Speaker 1: them all together in this episode. Laura thoughts who pays
Speaker 1: on the first date.
Speaker 2: We have very conflicting ideas on this, and like Britz said,
Speaker 2: we've done a whole other episode on this. It's called
Speaker 2: dating Etiquette. Dating Etiquette one oh one, go back and
Speaker 2: listen to that after this. But I think first date,
Speaker 2: depending on who asked for the date, I think at
Speaker 2: first date can be very fifty to fifty. I think
Speaker 2: that as a chick, you can offer to pay if
Speaker 2: the guy asked to pay, Like, if the guy says
Speaker 2: he wants to pay, then let him pay, Like, you
Speaker 2: don't have to force that. But I will always offer
Speaker 2: to pay, because, especially if I don't even know if
Speaker 2: I want to see the guy again, I don't want
Speaker 2: to feel indebted to seeing him. I don't want to
Speaker 2: feel like I owe him anything, So I'll always offer
Speaker 2: a fifty to fifty split. Yeah, Like, I'm fine with that.
Speaker 2: Your thoughts if Yeah, Look, if he's asked me on
Speaker 2: a date, I will always offer as well. But I'm
Speaker 2: not gonna fight him to the death. I'll always throw
Speaker 2: in the offer. But I do think that if he's
Speaker 2: asked me on a date, then he can pay, but
Speaker 2: I will probably go and get the dreams after, like
Speaker 2: I have. I have a hard time letting anyone.
Speaker 1: Do too much for me or pay for too much
Speaker 1: for me. I've never been able to do that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think it depends on who you are
Speaker 2: as a person, Like I'm sure that there's people out
Speaker 2: there who are away more comfortable with taking in that
Speaker 2: sort of situation where they're like a bit more traditional
Speaker 2: than like, okay, the guy pays for dinners, but I
Speaker 2: think more and more in like today's society, and also
Speaker 2: in like today's dating culture, there's a bit more of
Speaker 2: an expectation that it's fifty to fifty. Then I think
Speaker 2: once you start dating, if you go on a date
Speaker 2: the next week, he paid last week, you can pay.
Speaker 2: I think in the early days, it doesn't have to
Speaker 2: be the guy trying and woo the woman for a
Speaker 2: month or two months or I think those days are
Speaker 2: long gone, and I think it should be pretty fifty
Speaker 2: to fifty at the beginning, one hundred percent. And I
Speaker 2: don't mean fifty to fifty like he maybe he took
Speaker 2: you to a two hundred dollars dinner because he earns more.
Speaker 1: You don't have to go and match.
Speaker 2: That and take him to an equally expensive place. But
Speaker 2: it's more the idea of, hey, look you got last time,
Speaker 2: I'll get this time. Even if it was just like
Speaker 2: pizza and a few beers. It's just it's the effort
Speaker 2: and the thought. Well, the other thing is if he's
Speaker 2: asked you, invited you to a dinner, and he has
Speaker 2: booked the restaurant and it is a ridiculously expensive restaurant,
Speaker 2: he he can't expect you to pay half, I don't think,
Speaker 2: and the same if you decide on the restaurant, if
Speaker 2: you have picked a really really expensive restaurant, you can't
Speaker 2: expect him to pay for that either. So I think
Speaker 2: you just have to use your brain be smart about it.
Speaker 2: And I do think like also at the beginning, when
Speaker 2: you start dating someone and you start to kind of
Speaker 2: suss out what someone likes to do, and like that
Speaker 2: does also play into their finances. So if you are
Speaker 2: someone who's like super bougie and you like to go
Speaker 2: out for really expensive dinners because you are working really
Speaker 2: hard and you make really good money, and like you
Speaker 2: want to you want to enjoy those things. And then
Speaker 2: you start dating someone who clearly doesn't enjoy those things
Speaker 2: or they just want to like, you know, get a
Speaker 2: bottle of wine and go sit down the beach and
Speaker 2: that's just not for you, Well, then you're probably not
Speaker 2: going to continue dating them anyway, because I do think
Speaker 2: for like the longevity of relationship, it is really important
Speaker 2: that you both have aspirations to have similar types of
Speaker 2: lives and that you like to do very similar things.
Speaker 2: So I think that that kind of wears itself out
Speaker 2: in the wash. Anyway, I remember I went on a
Speaker 2: date quick story love it.
Speaker 1: I remember I wanted to take Bondie. I can't remember
Speaker 1: I've told you guys this before.
Speaker 2: I probably have in one of my ridiculous past stories.
Speaker 2: But long story short, it was a lunch date. It
Speaker 2: was literally a sandwich and a smoothie date. And he
Speaker 2: made me go and get twenty dollars cash out to
Speaker 2: give him so that it would be paid evenly, even
Speaker 2: though I tried to pay for the whole thing in
Speaker 2: my card. He outrageous, outrageous, And then the whole date
Speaker 2: he proceeded to tell me about how wealthy he was
Speaker 2: and like how many properties he had and blah blah blah.
Speaker 2: And I was like, dude, you literally just made me
Speaker 2: something's not adding up here because I had to go
Speaker 2: get twenty dollars cash out to pay for a bloody
Speaker 2: turkey and cray for sandwich. Doesn't that just highlight like
Speaker 2: when somebody is of such a different saving personality to you,
Speaker 2: So like, I think that's something else that we will
Speaker 2: talk about as well. But like maybe you are a
Speaker 2: spender like you, Like I said, you're a bougie. You
Speaker 2: like to spend your money, and maybe the person that
Speaker 2: you're dating is a saver and they're like super frugal
Speaker 2: and if anything, like sometimes they're a bit cheap about it.
Speaker 2: That doesn't make either one of these personalities bad personality, Like,
Speaker 2: it doesn't mean that you're a bad person because you
Speaker 2: like to spend money. It doesn't mean that they're a
Speaker 2: bad person because they like to really save money. It
Speaker 2: just means you're very different and you're gonna probably have
Speaker 2: to work a bit harder to be on the same page.
Speaker 1: Anyway.
Speaker 2: Moving along, we're moving in together. You're moving in with
Speaker 2: your partner. You've never lived together before. How do you
Speaker 2: work out your finances? Who pays for what you earn?
Speaker 2: Different incomes? How do you work out your ran bills, groceries.
Speaker 1: Furniture, et cetera.
Speaker 2: Okay, So I've had a couple of long term relationships
Speaker 2: now where I've lived with a partner, Like, I've lived
Speaker 2: with three different guys for you know, several years each one,
Speaker 2: not just like in total anyway, So and all of
Speaker 2: them have been extremely different personality types when it comes
Speaker 2: to their money. So, the first guy that I was
Speaker 2: with We were together for six years. He was he
Speaker 2: was a musician. He definitely had aspirations to be successful
Speaker 2: in a music career, but he was not driven by money,
Speaker 2: and he was quite happy and quite content to I
Speaker 2: don't think to say that he would settle is very
Speaker 2: fair on him, because I know that he wanted to
Speaker 2: be successful in music, but he was very happy to
Speaker 2: settle from a monetary like perspective. Then, like my second relationship,
Speaker 2: the guy who was dating, he was very ambitious, saved
Speaker 2: a lot of money, was very very successful in his career,
Speaker 2: but wasn't very good at sharing that money with me,
Speaker 2: as in like he very much wanted things to be
Speaker 2: fifty to fifty, straight down the middle, and by fifty
Speaker 2: to fifty, he saw things as like I paid fifty percent,
Speaker 2: as in like if something cost ten dollars, I paid
Speaker 2: five dollars, he paid five dollars, and that's what he
Speaker 2: saw as being fifty to fifty.
Speaker 1: But it left me feeling really.
Speaker 2: Resentful because at that time I wasn't earning a lot
Speaker 2: of money, and so when we would spend what was
Speaker 2: fifty to fifty, it always left me being broke and
Speaker 2: him being financially fine.
Speaker 1: Yes, it wasn't relative to what you were earning, relative
Speaker 1: to your.
Speaker 2: Salary and its it coused me a lot of stress.
Speaker 2: So I think that, like, there are different ways of
Speaker 2: approaching this depending on the personality and depending on the
Speaker 2: sort of the financial personality type. Whereas like Matt and
Speaker 2: I now, like we, as you guys learned earlier in
Speaker 2: this episode, we moved in together in a true baptism
Speaker 2: of fire. Like we moved in together, had to sort
Speaker 2: out our finances, had to be really open with things
Speaker 2: because we were having a freaking.
Speaker 1: Baby as well.
Speaker 2: Right, that was a whole nother spanner in the works.
Speaker 2: But we don't have a joint bank account yet, which
Speaker 2: I know some people will think is crazy, Like we
Speaker 2: don't have a joint bank account, but we are incredibly
Speaker 2: open with our income, and we're incredibly open with our savings.
Speaker 2: So I know everything that's in Matt's bank account, and
Speaker 2: he knows everything that's in mine, And we pay for
Speaker 2: everything financially fifty to fifty because we earned very similar amounts.
Speaker 2: And the only reason why we haven't gotten a joint
Speaker 2: bank account yet is kind of because we're lazy. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I actually believe that we haven't gotten around to it,
Speaker 2: but we intend to continue to support each other and
Speaker 2: contribute fifty to fifty financially.
Speaker 1: You know it could take you about ten minutes to do.
Speaker 2: Ah, don't you start? I had this conversation with my
Speaker 2: sister yesterday.
Speaker 1: I am going to start because A I care about you,
Speaker 1: but you hear about your financial stability.
Speaker 2: It be because it's actually going to be my advice
Speaker 2: for people in your situation. And from everything that I've
Speaker 2: looked at, my advice and their professionals advice is that
Speaker 2: you have three accounts. You both have your own accounts,
Speaker 2: so you have your own financial independence, and you have
Speaker 2: a joint account and that is where you decide a
Speaker 2: percentage relative to your wage. So for you and Matt,
Speaker 2: it's even you earn the same sort of money, so
Speaker 2: you might just say, let's both put thirty percent in
Speaker 2: every week.
Speaker 1: Every week, regardless of what your.
Speaker 2: Other bills are, you put that amount of money in
Speaker 2: because you've picked an amount of money that you can afford,
Speaker 2: so you don't go crazy. Guys, if you get leftovers,
Speaker 2: you can add it later, but you just pick an
Speaker 2: amount that every week consistently can go in. Then you
Speaker 2: still have your own money to spend and do what
Speaker 2: you want with, and you can still add to it
Speaker 2: and pay bills with it and whatever else. But it's
Speaker 2: I guess, A, it's a forced saving, and B it's
Speaker 2: something that sort of ties you together and makes you
Speaker 2: feel more financially stable.
Speaker 1: I agree with all of.
Speaker 2: That, because I do think that you should have a
Speaker 2: joint bank account if you live together. I think that
Speaker 2: that's what that's what your shared expenses should be coming
Speaker 2: out of. That's what your rent and your electricity and
Speaker 2: your food and all that stuff should be coming out of.
Speaker 2: What I really want to highlight, which is what brit
Speaker 2: has said, but I really want to highlight the importance
Speaker 2: of when you're in a committed relationship and you've moved
Speaker 2: in with someone and you've started to merge your finances,
Speaker 2: sometimes it can seem really exciting, like it's the next step,
Speaker 2: you know, like it's really it solidifies the relationship that
Speaker 2: you have a joint bank account. Like I don't know
Speaker 2: that sounds silly, but I remember with me like there
Speaker 2: was this little bit of me that was like, oh
Speaker 2: my god, he loves me so much because we have
Speaker 2: this joint bank account. But because I was like, I
Speaker 2: was living far outside my means to be able to
Speaker 2: match his salary. So the relationship I spoke about earlier,
Speaker 2: it meant that I didn't have any money siphoned off
Speaker 2: in my own account. So I think it's really important
Speaker 2: to like stick to this idea of having three accounts.
Speaker 2: So he has his own separate account, you have a
Speaker 2: joint bank account, and you have your own account. Make
Speaker 2: sure that you have savings in your own bank account,
Speaker 2: and that's like your that's your security savings. That's so
Speaker 2: if you decide you want to leave the relationship because
Speaker 2: you're not happy anymore. And I know that's a really
Speaker 2: morbid way of looking at it, but you need to
Speaker 2: have some security. Maybe it's not maybe it's so that
Speaker 2: you can go on that holiday you really want to.
Speaker 2: It can be for positive things as well, but I
Speaker 2: think that every single person needs to have some financial
Speaker 2: stability so that they're not ever in a position where
Speaker 2: they're vulnerable to their partner. And I think that that's
Speaker 2: something to be really wary of. And I don't say
Speaker 2: this because I was, like, you know, under like the
Speaker 2: terrible spell of my ex, Like he was a really
Speaker 2: great guy, but I wasn't financially safe to leave the
Speaker 2: relationship when I wanted to, and that was a huge
Speaker 2: stress for me. When I decided I wanted to get out,
Speaker 2: I was like, well, I can't afford to leave. Everything
Speaker 2: I have is with him. Yeah, And I couldn't agree
Speaker 2: with that more. It's the way that my parents always
Speaker 2: brought me up was to be like that. But I
Speaker 2: spoke to a financial planner this week, and they actually
Speaker 2: suggest is that you have two months minimum wage put
Speaker 2: aside for a rainy day minimum So if you lost
Speaker 2: your job, if there was a worldwide pandemic, which you know,
Speaker 2: as if that would happen, that's so crazy, So well,
Speaker 2: maybe you just need to buy some meritis ghost cheese in,
Speaker 2: you know. But they do say to try and have
Speaker 2: two to three months put away for a rainy day,
Speaker 2: and then you pretend you don't have it, then you
Speaker 2: start your savings again. I understand that's not viable for everyone.
Speaker 2: I'm lucky that I don't have a lot of other
Speaker 2: things in my life, like I don't have a partner
Speaker 2: that I have a joint bank account with, I don't
Speaker 2: have children and mortgages. So I actually followed the financial advice,
Speaker 2: and I saved and saved and saved, put that money away,
Speaker 2: and then I pretend I don't have it, And that
Speaker 2: has helped me out in this situation right now. And
Speaker 2: if I ever needed to leave a partner for any reason,
Speaker 2: it would help me for that. I was in a
Speaker 2: situation years ago where I wasn't this savvy and I
Speaker 2: wanted to leave a toxic relationship and I literally had
Speaker 2: no money, like I couldn't leave.
Speaker 1: So I think that that's super, super super important.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And we don't meet it from like a doom
Speaker 2: and gloom, like I know that sounds like a really
Speaker 2: negative way to get into a relationship. We're not saying
Speaker 2: put that money aside because you're going to need it
Speaker 2: when you want to get out. We're just saying, like,
Speaker 2: it's always good to have a backup. It's always good
Speaker 2: to have some sort of financial security on your own.
Speaker 2: And I think that as women especially, it's really important
Speaker 2: to make sure that that's something that you prioritize in
Speaker 2: your life. Because as much as it's very flattering and
Speaker 2: it's very exciting to have a joint bank account and
Speaker 2: to start to really see your future with someone, it's
Speaker 2: also very important to have some protections in place. If
Speaker 2: things for whatever reason workwise relationship wise, bloody, natural, disaster wise,
Speaker 2: don't go to plan the next thing I kind of
Speaker 2: want to really sort of talk about and sit on
Speaker 2: for a little while. Here is the importance of setting
Speaker 2: a sexy budget. I love a sexy A sexy sexy budget.
Speaker 2: Now a sexy budget, I don't know. It's definitely not sexy,
Speaker 2: and I hate budgeting. But I also think if you're
Speaker 2: going to start to have a joint bank account with someone,
Speaker 2: you guys are aligning your life goals and what you
Speaker 2: want in a relationship, and like you're thinking, hey, this
Speaker 2: guy's end goal or girl is and goal. Then I
Speaker 2: think it's really important to have a really open conversation
Speaker 2: about finances and about budgeting because maybe you guys want
Speaker 2: to have like a bougie holiday every year. I need
Speaker 2: to stop saying boogie I so that like six times
Speaker 2: in this episode, maybe you guys want to have ever
Speaker 2: really fancy a fancy bougie holiday.
Speaker 1: Maybe you really.
Speaker 2: Want to save for a house, Maybe you just want
Speaker 2: to know that you have some savings there for a
Speaker 2: rainy day. Whatever it is, I think it's really important
Speaker 2: to be on the same page with how you're going
Speaker 2: to save your money, because resentment can kind of come
Speaker 2: from this idea of like having one person who thinks
Speaker 2: they're really good at saving and having the other person
Speaker 2: be very like frivolous and spending money on things that
Speaker 2: that one person in the relationship deems unnecessary. And what
Speaker 2: can happen and it's a very slow burn. Is this
Speaker 2: like parenting voice where it's like, well, did you really
Speaker 2: need to go and buy that? Or like what are
Speaker 2: you doing that for? And you don't want that from
Speaker 2: your partner. You don't need that from your partner. You
Speaker 2: need some privacy. I know my parents forty two years married.
Speaker 2: They still have their own accounts. They pull their money
Speaker 2: for the bills and stuff, but they they can go
Speaker 2: and spend what they want without the other one knowing.
Speaker 2: They would still tell each other, It's just that it's
Speaker 2: not like they're not looking through each other's accounts being
Speaker 2: like what was this?
Speaker 1: What was this?
Speaker 2: They trust each other enough that if they want to
Speaker 2: go and treat themselves to something, they can. So I
Speaker 2: was listening to some podcasts in preparation for this episode
Speaker 2: because of like, I only have my experiences with how
Speaker 2: I finance with my partners. But I was listening to
Speaker 2: this financial psychologist talking about how one of his clients
Speaker 2: had come in and the husband and the wife were
Speaker 2: very different personality types. He was like crazy savor, and
Speaker 2: she was like pretty normal, Like she was like not
Speaker 2: going crazy, she wasn't spending too much money, normal living, yeah,
Speaker 2: just living. They had kids, she was living. They had
Speaker 2: had this massive fight because he had found a credit card,
Speaker 2: so she had been having like financial infidelity. She had
Speaker 2: a hidden credit card. That's what it's called financial infidelity.
Speaker 2: Fund your cheating on me with your AMEX card. So
Speaker 2: she he had spent thirteen thousand dollars, which is no
Speaker 2: small sum of money, but she'd spent thirteen thousand dollars
Speaker 2: on a credit card that he didn't know about.
Speaker 1: And then this financial psychologist was like, Okay, when you.
Speaker 2: Come to the next session, I want you to bring
Speaker 2: your bank statement of what you have spent your money on,
Speaker 2: and we're going to go through it and we're going
Speaker 2: to talk about it. And so she came and she
Speaker 2: brought the bank statement. He'd already gone through it before
Speaker 2: the session, and he sat downe he was like cool,
Speaker 2: what is this charge for?
Speaker 1: And it was like two hundred dollars.
Speaker 2: At say kmart, and she was like, well, that was
Speaker 2: buying the kids uniforms and clothes for this event. And
Speaker 2: he was like okay, and what's this for And she
Speaker 2: was like, well that was for food for this event.
Speaker 2: And he looked through it and he was like, do
Speaker 2: you know what. All of these expenses are absolutely justifiable.
Speaker 2: And the fact that she needs to have a credit
Speaker 2: card because you're restricting her ability to spend this much,
Speaker 2: the issues on the husband, not on the wife.
Speaker 1: Absolutely.
Speaker 2: So I think that you, even if you are the
Speaker 2: person who really wants to save money, you've got to
Speaker 2: keep in mind that you don't want to save money
Speaker 2: at the sacrifice of your relationship. You still have to
Speaker 2: have fun and make memories and enjoy yourself along the way.
Speaker 2: But that sounds like she wasn't even having fun. She
Speaker 2: was just buying the essentials for her children. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: she just got to a point where she was like,
Speaker 2: I'm so sick of having this argument with you day
Speaker 2: and day out about things that we need to have,
Speaker 2: so I'm just going to go and do it anyway,
Speaker 2: Which I think that that's a stair right. If you
Speaker 2: aggressively try and make someone do what you want them
Speaker 2: to do, people are just they just get over it.
Speaker 2: They're just going to do what they want behind your back.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: We had one girl actually writing and she said that
Speaker 2: she's having a really, really tough time now, and she's
Speaker 2: been in this tough time for years. Her partner, she
Speaker 2: owns a lot more than him, and her partner basically
Speaker 2: has a severe gambling problem, and to the point that
Speaker 2: she can't even give him twenty dollars to go and
Speaker 2: get milk and bread because he won't come back for
Speaker 2: two hours and he would have just spent it at
Speaker 2: the tab.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So it's quite severe, and it's to the point
Speaker 2: now that he just won't ever have money, so she
Speaker 2: pays for everything. And she said that this has been
Speaker 2: going on for years now. I really feel for her,
Speaker 2: And obviously we don't know the ins and outs of
Speaker 2: that relationship, but on a surface level, my mind is
Speaker 2: a bit like I would have left. I would have
Speaker 2: been like, they're not married, throwing her money down the drain.
Speaker 2: So yeah, like I mean, I hate just like coming
Speaker 2: to some of these questions and being like, oh no,
Speaker 2: leave him.
Speaker 1: But then in this con situation like leave him. But no,
Speaker 1: but I think, like you, the fact that he's doing that, Yes,
Speaker 1: it's an illness and it's something that he needs to
Speaker 1: seek help for and you can help him through this.
Speaker 1: You can go to a counselor.
Speaker 2: I think that this is like a very isolated situation
Speaker 2: where like he needs to go and get some.
Speaker 1: Help for that.
Speaker 2: But there is so much inherent lying in that. There's
Speaker 2: so much betrayal in that, there's so much disrespect in
Speaker 2: that that, there's so many levels being taken advantage of
Speaker 2: in that that I think at some point you have
Speaker 2: to prioritize what's important to.
Speaker 1: You over over like that's terrible.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you definitely need to have a point. I think
Speaker 2: in this situation, this is where we would say, don't
Speaker 2: have a joint bank account because you will literally be
Speaker 2: saying goodbye to all your money. But it's just interesting
Speaker 2: to see how many levels there are two financial stresses
Speaker 2: in relationships. And we understand you're probably listening now and
Speaker 2: you know that you have your own financial stresses with
Speaker 2: your relationship, and it might be mainstream like we've just said,
Speaker 2: like someone just throws more money away than the other
Speaker 2: it might be a lot deeper, like drug problems and
Speaker 2: gambling problems. And I think that's why it's important for
Speaker 2: us to say we wanted to touch on everything, because
Speaker 2: there's no right answer for every relationship. There's The best
Speaker 2: thing I ever did, to be honest, was call up
Speaker 2: a financial advisor. I did that years and years and
Speaker 2: years ago, and that was just me on my own
Speaker 2: because I wanted to make my money work for me.
Speaker 2: We all work so hard, we all are grinding out
Speaker 2: there just good enough to live. So my advice is,
Speaker 2: call a financial advisor, call a planner. You go through
Speaker 2: everything with them, and they start to budget for you.
Speaker 2: They start to tell you where your money could be
Speaker 2: going to work better for you, and they just give
Speaker 2: you a better understanding of how to grow as a couple. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and you can do this as a relationship. You can
Speaker 2: do this as a couple as well. Like Matt and
Speaker 2: I recently, we've started to go and see a financial
Speaker 2: advisor because we're not very good with our money and
Speaker 2: we need someone to.
Speaker 1: Be like, this is how you do it, because you're
Speaker 1: doing it wrong. I guess on that as well. Another question,
Speaker 1: we get a lot and I.
Speaker 2: Guess it's a bit difficult to navigate, is what happens
Speaker 2: when the woman does earn more. A lot of women
Speaker 2: feel uncomfortable with that. A lot of men feel uncomfortable
Speaker 2: with that. I have definitely dated people where I have
Speaker 2: been the higher income earner, and it hasn't bothered me
Speaker 2: because if I'm happy and I know they're working hard,
Speaker 2: like you just said, if they're not lazy and they're
Speaker 2: working hard and they're doing their passion, it doesn't matter
Speaker 2: really what they're earning, because I can see that they're
Speaker 2: trying their hardest. I think in this situation it affects
Speaker 2: the men more. I feel like a lot of them
Speaker 2: feel inferior or not as masculine because we've always been
Speaker 2: brought up to think that the men, that men are
Speaker 2: the breadwinners. So I think this is a struggle with
Speaker 2: a lot of relationship. Being to Matt about this as well,
Speaker 2: when we were doing some reach search for this episode,
Speaker 2: I was saying to Matt, like, you know, why is
Speaker 2: it that, and like people who we know, like you know,
Speaker 2: I've we have great friends who the guy pays for
Speaker 2: a lot more than the girl, even sometimes when she
Speaker 2: has a really, really great job as well, but like
Speaker 2: it just seems to be that gender norm where the
Speaker 2: man pays for more. And Matt said that like his
Speaker 2: opinion on it, which I kind of agree as well,
Speaker 2: is like there is power in that. There's power in
Speaker 2: paying for someone because like you then dictate where you
Speaker 2: go on holidays, you then dictate where you eat, You
Speaker 2: then dictate.
Speaker 1: What you're buying and what you're doing.
Speaker 2: And so I do kind of agree with this like
Speaker 2: power play that comes from a financial like perspective as
Speaker 2: well in relationships and how that's always been geared towards
Speaker 2: the man. After everything I've read and looked up and researched,
Speaker 2: I'm really big on and what I will do one
Speaker 2: day when that lucky man comes into my life, ding
Speaker 2: ding shout out, when he comes into my life, I
Speaker 2: am going to be of the person that I think
Speaker 2: you have the joint account, but you you pick percentage
Speaker 2: this relative to both of you. So if one of
Speaker 2: who's one hundred grand, one's on fifty grand, you both
Speaker 2: just put in thirty percent of that and it's relative.
Speaker 2: And I think that is absolutely from every single option
Speaker 2: I have read, I think that is the best and
Speaker 2: fairest way to maintain a healthy relationship when you're not
Speaker 2: fighting about money, because this the financial stress on each
Speaker 2: individual is exactly the same.
Speaker 1: And then you take it in turns.
Speaker 2: One of you might take your one out to dinner,
Speaker 2: and then the woman can take him out the next time.
Speaker 2: But I definitely think that from everything I've seen, that's
Speaker 2: what I That's what I'm one hundred percent going to do. Laura,
Speaker 2: you should get on that joint account. But now we
Speaker 2: don't have a joint account. Like I'm there with you.
Speaker 2: I totally totally agree with everything you said, because we
Speaker 2: do split everything fifty to fifty and like the most
Speaker 2: reasonable and like we we that's what we do, you know,
Speaker 2: That's how we approach our finances and our relationship. Matt
Speaker 2: doesn't pay for any more than me, and I don't
Speaker 2: pay for any more than him. We really kind of
Speaker 2: just take it in turns. And and i' think I
Speaker 2: wanted to touch on. Another listener wrote in saying that
Speaker 2: she's having some troubles with her partner, her husband husband,
Speaker 2: because she had a baby eight months ago, so she's
Speaker 2: a stay at home mum and he has made some
Speaker 2: like snipy sort of comments here and there, about how
Speaker 2: she's not contributing as much financially.
Speaker 1: That blew my mind.
Speaker 2: How is she supposed to be contributing financially when she
Speaker 2: is a stay at home mum, Like, there has to
Speaker 2: be a point when you're in a relationship with kids
Speaker 2: that your money, my money, becomes our money. I think
Speaker 2: that this is a common issue though, I really do,
Speaker 2: and like I know that that sort of paint as
Speaker 2: a modern woman as a feminist, Like that pains me
Speaker 2: because I do think that there is still a culture
Speaker 2: that happens where men are going to work and then
Speaker 2: they think, Oh, you're just home all day playing with
Speaker 2: the baby, and it's really fun and it's really great.
Speaker 2: But you know, like it's, as any mum knows, spending
Speaker 2: all day with your own child, who you love to death,
Speaker 2: but spending all day every day and not.
Speaker 1: Getting a break.
Speaker 2: It's actually maddening for all different reasons, because it's so
Speaker 2: it's they require so much of you, and you really
Speaker 2: lose your own identity, and you really lose your sleep,
Speaker 2: and you lose so much of yourself in spending all
Speaker 2: your time with your child. So I think if you're
Speaker 2: the one who is doing the full time parenting while
Speaker 2: your partner works, like that's a job because otherwise your
Speaker 2: kid would be in daycare and you'd be back at work.
Speaker 2: So I don't I don't have the answers to that.
Speaker 2: I don't know how you get your husband to respect
Speaker 2: you more other than potentially going to counseling or potentially
Speaker 2: trying to explain to him what you do during the
Speaker 2: day and how much work you have, like how much
Speaker 2: work staying at home and being a mom actually takes.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: I had this one, this one woman who was friends
Speaker 2: of Matt's mum, so her husband had made a comment
Speaker 2: that she, you know exactly, that she doesn't do anything,
Speaker 2: liked they have two kids, and it was like, you
Speaker 2: don't do anything. I work so hard you're at home
Speaker 2: with the kids, and then you complain and you make
Speaker 2: it out like it's such a difficult job. And she
Speaker 2: was like, right, So she didn't. She didn't do one
Speaker 2: single thing at all. So she took care of the
Speaker 2: kids and did the bare minimum, but she didn't She
Speaker 2: didn't wipe the floors, she didn't pick one thing up
Speaker 2: when it landed on the ground. She just didn't do
Speaker 2: any thing. No washing, no cleaning, no three days didn't
Speaker 2: touch a thing, and he was like, what the fuck
Speaker 2: is happening to this place? And she was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: this is what I do every single day. Fucking Mike Trace.
Speaker 2: Is it like this house is an absolute pig style.
Speaker 2: I spent all freaking day running around cleaning and making
Speaker 2: sure that this home and this life is exactly how
Speaker 2: you want to live it. Maybe you can do that
Speaker 2: to set an example or to make a point and
Speaker 2: just not do any cleaning or cooking or anything for
Speaker 2: a little while until that really drives a home. But
Speaker 2: maybe that's passive aggressive, and we don't encourage that. But
Speaker 2: there's a difference with being passive. No, I don't think
Speaker 2: it'sassive aggressive. It's some people are visual people. Some people
Speaker 2: need to physically see a result. So maybe the man
Speaker 2: your husband actually needs to visually see. Oh, I can
Speaker 2: see now what you must do because when you walk
Speaker 2: into a clean house, you don't you don't. You know
Speaker 2: it's clean, but you don't think about what went into it.
Speaker 2: When you walk into a dirty house, you're like, what
Speaker 2: the hell, Like why totally you know. There's a difference.
Speaker 2: So I think I'm all for that. I don't think
Speaker 2: that's passive aggressive. I think that's just like I'm just
Speaker 2: going to show you for one weekend, or give him
Speaker 2: the kids for the weekend, twenty four hours a day
Speaker 2: and just golladay, just go have a weekend with the girls,
Speaker 2: drink some prosecco and just have the best time.
Speaker 1: You'll be kissing your butt when you get back.
Speaker 2: Like, we don't have the answer for this, but I
Speaker 2: honestly do think that that is something that so many
Speaker 2: new mums go through, and I think that that is
Speaker 2: an often recurrent point of contention in relationships, where there's
Speaker 2: this inequality in work, like my because I go to work,
Speaker 2: my work's more important, and because you stay here, your
Speaker 2: work is easier.
Speaker 1: Okay, moving along one more step. Prenups. What do you
Speaker 1: think of the old prenup?
Speaker 2: Oh? I think that every situation is so different. I
Speaker 2: think it's really difficult to kind of say what is
Speaker 2: right and wrong. I don't have the sort of crazy
Speaker 2: savings that are so different to what Matt owns that
Speaker 2: we need to do a prenup, do you know? But
Speaker 2: I think that there are circumstances where someone has worked
Speaker 2: incredibly hard, or they've been inherited a hell a lot
Speaker 2: of money and their situation is something that like we
Speaker 2: can't relate to because like maybe they're the heir to
Speaker 2: a bloody fortune and they need to protect that. So
Speaker 2: I think that they're valid, and I think that I
Speaker 2: think the fact that one in three marriages ends in
Speaker 2: divorce is a testament to the fact that prenups are necessary.
Speaker 2: So I think there's there's so many levels and like,
Speaker 2: I mean, we can't discuss at all. Of course, they're
Speaker 2: pretty confronting and they can be a bit upsetting when
Speaker 2: your partner says, like, let's sign a prenup, you're sort
Speaker 2: of like, whoa are you thinking this is going to
Speaker 2: be doomed before it's actually doomed.
Speaker 1: That's probably not what it is.
Speaker 2: I think a prenup is okay if it takes into
Speaker 2: consideration like maybe your partner earns, maybe they have a fortune.
Speaker 2: As long as a prenup takes into consideration the fact
Speaker 2: that maybe for five years you're at home not earning
Speaker 2: your own money because you've got kids, there has to
Speaker 2: be something in it that's going to protect you to
Speaker 2: a point you don't have to lead him out.
Speaker 1: And everything totally. Do you know, actually, Laura.
Speaker 2: Well, like if a prenup is just like, hey, if
Speaker 2: we break up, I get everything that's mine and you
Speaker 2: don't get anything, then that's a piece of shit. But
Speaker 2: if the prenup is like, Okay, we acknowledge that I
Speaker 2: have a lot of money and if we break up,
Speaker 2: I'm going to take care of you. But to this extent, fine,
Speaker 2: you're still taking care of You're still getting something. But
Speaker 2: it's saying like, you know, let's be real about this.
Speaker 2: You know, so I know you're not marrying me because
Speaker 2: I'm a filthy rich millionaire. Yeah, I didn't tell you this,
Speaker 2: and this didn't make it to air on The Bachelor,
Speaker 2: But Nick and I were having this conversation like this
Speaker 2: one on one, really nice time, and he just says
Speaker 2: to me, what like.
Speaker 1: I just want to say, like what do you think
Speaker 1: of pre nups? And I was like, oh, Nick, I
Speaker 1: don't earn that much. You don't need to worry about that.
Speaker 1: I just made me think. It was like I was
Speaker 1: gonna write a.
Speaker 2: Prenup in my head as fully, and in my head
Speaker 2: I was like, Okay, why did he ask me? Basically,
Speaker 2: if he was like, would you sign a prenup, that's
Speaker 2: what he said, would I sign one and he was like,
Speaker 2: this is not finale like this a.
Speaker 1: Few before, and I was like, WHOA.
Speaker 2: I even went back to the other girls and I
Speaker 2: was like, has Nicko asked any of you signed a prenup?
Speaker 1: And they're like no. I was like, that is so weird,
Speaker 1: so weird, And I don't know.
Speaker 2: We never got into it enough that I don't know
Speaker 2: if it was a general throwaway. I don't know if
Speaker 2: he was like actually saying he has enough that he
Speaker 2: wants prenup.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm not going to choose anyone at the end,
Speaker 2: but I'd just like to know if you're trying to
Speaker 2: get meothetically, if I was going to pick someone, would
Speaker 2: you sign on? That's crazy, though maybe that's like a
Speaker 2: positive thing. I think that there is a testament to
Speaker 2: the fact that you should openly talk about finances at
Speaker 2: different points in your relationship. Not too early on, because
Speaker 2: I think it can be a bit of a moodkiller.
Speaker 1: But not when you're still dating five other people.
Speaker 2: Well yeah, but when when you guys are moving in together,
Speaker 2: when you're starting to get really serious about merging your life,
Speaker 2: that's when finance becomes so important and that's been talking
Speaker 2: about and making sure that you're on the same page
Speaker 2: with things.
Speaker 1: Is so imperative to having a happy life together.
Speaker 2: So what if one person does make more? Because a
Speaker 2: woman named Kelly Long, she's a member of the National
Speaker 2: CPA Finance Literacy Commission, and she just states that basically,
Speaker 2: it's almost inevitable that one person is going to earn
Speaker 2: significantly more than the other person, and those amounts might
Speaker 2: vary widely, but it also might vary throughout the relationship,
Speaker 2: Like there might be one point where you're earning more
Speaker 2: and maybe there's a point where your partner's earning more.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2: And so if this does happen, and if this is
Speaker 2: in your relationship, is it fair in this case to
Speaker 2: split a mortgage.
Speaker 1: Fifty to fifty? For example?
Speaker 2: Is it fair to split the bill fifty to fifty?
Speaker 2: And fair doesn't necessarily mean equal, no, it means percentages.
Speaker 1: Ay.
Speaker 2: But I mean this comes back to what we were
Speaker 2: saying earlier on in the beginning, especially like where I
Speaker 2: was saying about my partner, where I felt financially stressed
Speaker 2: because we were doing the fifty to fifty split, but
Speaker 2: financial to the dollar fifty to fifty. I think that
Speaker 2: that's a really, really great take home from this. And
Speaker 2: if you do take one thing home, it's that when
Speaker 2: you merge your expenses and if you do have hugely
Speaker 2: different incomes, then doing a percentage split is a much
Speaker 2: fairer way of splitting your income than doing a dollar
Speaker 2: for dollar split. Absolutely, And I did put some questions
Speaker 2: out for you guys, some polls on Instagram because I
Speaker 2: wanted the general public feedback, and because we're just so
Speaker 2: well researched, we have to we leave no stone unturned.
Speaker 1: No question on Instagram unanswered.
Speaker 2: I did have to turn off the responses because you
Speaker 2: guys were overwhelming. But before this is the result.
Speaker 1: Should a relationship be fifty to fifty? Sixty seven percent
Speaker 1: said yes.
Speaker 2: I lie that sixty seven percent said yes without any
Speaker 2: other details. They're like, should a relationship be fifty to fifty?
Speaker 2: And there is thirty three percent of people out there being.
Speaker 1: Like, nah, he can pay more? Exactly, I mean yes, no,
Speaker 1: poll now dot there shouldn't be fifty to fifty. That's
Speaker 1: the person that earns more, pay more.
Speaker 2: Yes, And only fifty one percent of people said no,
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 1: Wow, that one.
Speaker 2: Weirs me out that weeds me out too. So if
Speaker 2: someone earns more, there is forty nine percent of people
Speaker 2: out there as who are saying no.
Speaker 1: And I bet you they're the forty nine percent who
Speaker 1: earned more. Yeah, they would be for sure.
Speaker 2: Do you share a bank account with your partner, Laura,
Speaker 2: this is you? Fifty percent said yes, So forty nine
Speaker 2: percent people still are in a relationship and don't share
Speaker 2: a bank account with a partner. I actually found that
Speaker 2: really interesting. But also these questions don't really take into
Speaker 2: account the depth or of the relationship. That don't take
Speaker 2: into account how long you've been together, the seriousness any
Speaker 2: of those things. So I think like at a base level,
Speaker 2: this was just a whole lot of people saying yes, no, yes, no.
Speaker 1: But I mean I wanted I just wanted a general
Speaker 1: feel of where people were at. Yeah, and fifty one
Speaker 1: said that they do.
Speaker 2: And lastly, and I found this really interesting, only twenty
Speaker 2: five percent of you that are in long term relationships
Speaker 2: said money is what you fight about most. That's actually
Speaker 2: a huge statistic, So like twenty five per cent higher. Yeah,
Speaker 2: But I mean most of our audience is relatively young,
Speaker 2: and I think that the older you get, the more
Speaker 2: that money becomes something that you will significantly fight about.
Speaker 2: So the fact that quarter of you are already finding
Speaker 2: about money and you're only probably relatively I'm not gonna
Speaker 2: say you're new to your relationship, but go around. You're
Speaker 2: in your thirties, probably you're new to life.
Speaker 1: So like you know, you know, we don't have.
Speaker 2: Like the full spectrum of all the shit that life
Speaker 2: puts on us yet. So I reckon that the older
Speaker 2: we get, the more that that number is going to grow.
Speaker 2: So I think for a quarter of our listeners to
Speaker 2: be affected by financial problems their relationships, that is huge.
Speaker 2: So I really hope one in four of you found
Speaker 2: this interesting. We hope one in four of you aren't something.
Speaker 2: We hope one in four of you will put that
Speaker 2: into place and save your relationship.
Speaker 1: There you go.
Speaker 2: I wanted to tell you guys about some apps that
Speaker 2: I looked up. They are directed mainly at couples. You
Speaker 2: can use them as singles as well, but essentially it's
Speaker 2: like money budgeting, money sharing, way to split and pay
Speaker 2: each other, way to keep track of things. But these
Speaker 2: are some of the top apps that were recommended. So
Speaker 2: some of them are freeze and some of them have
Speaker 2: like an upgraded paid version where you can access more features.
Speaker 2: But a few of them are Pocketbook, Good Budget, Pocketsmith,
Speaker 2: Money Lover.
Speaker 1: I've used Pocketbook before, have you do you love it? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I mean if you're somebody who needs a bit of
Speaker 2: assistance with budgeting and needs a little bit of assistance
Speaker 2: for their finances, then there are so many solutions out there.
Speaker 2: Another thing that I recommend as well, if you haven't
Speaker 2: read it, read it. It's The Food Investor. Investor. It's
Speaker 2: so good. It's actually really really like. Money can be
Speaker 2: very confusing, it can seem like very overwhelming to get into,
Speaker 2: and like a lot of finance books are just too wordy,
Speaker 2: too difficult. Later, The Barefoot Investor is a great book.
Speaker 2: It just makes finance very very tactile. If you haven't
Speaker 2: read it, this is going to be your three hundred
Speaker 2: and seventy fourth recommendation for that book, because I'm pretty
Speaker 2: sure everyone recommends it. And then, lastly, my recommendation for
Speaker 2: a relationship and if you are at the point where
Speaker 2: you're starting to merge your finances, my recommendation is that
Speaker 2: you do what they call a money huddle, which is
Speaker 2: every so often, maybe once a month, maybe once every
Speaker 2: two to three months, sit down, have a glass of wine,
Speaker 2: have dinner with your partner, and talk about your money.
Speaker 2: Talk about what you're saving for, talk about what you're
Speaker 2: looking forward to, whether it be holidays, a house, your kids,
Speaker 2: whatever it is. But just make sure that you're checking
Speaker 2: in every so often like you would in all other
Speaker 2: aspects of your relationship, to make sure that you're aligned
Speaker 2: and you're saving for the same things, and you care
Speaker 2: about the same things, and you're moving forward, not just
Speaker 2: in your relationship, but in your money. Honey, and open
Speaker 2: goal setting huddle. What I don't know, I haven't humbled before.
Speaker 1: I was just trying to you on it. A lot
Speaker 1: of money huddle. Yeah, like I'm open an open communication huddle.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm sorry. I huddle myself to sleep.
Speaker 2: All right, guys, we have a little bit of some
Speaker 2: disappointing news for you. If you've made it to this
Speaker 2: point in an episode, which of course you have because
Speaker 2: you know it's great. We are not going to be
Speaker 2: doing an ask uncut episode this week. Just life and
Speaker 2: work and everything has become a little bit too mental.
Speaker 2: So look, if things kind of clear up before Wednesday
Speaker 2: and we're able to get an ask uncut episode out
Speaker 2: to you, and we will. But at the moment, it's
Speaker 2: just like I'm getting mad anxiety by all the work
Speaker 2: that's piling up, so I kind of need a bit
Speaker 2: of a break.
Speaker 1: It's a super super big week for both of us.
Speaker 2: I'm actually starting a new job at a new hospital
Speaker 2: as well. I'm still at the old hospital that I
Speaker 2: was at. I'm not going to tell anyone where I'm
Speaker 2: at because I don't want anyone to turn up there,
Speaker 2: but I'm starting in everyone everyone flocks to Britney's wags.
Speaker 1: Is that Bretty from The Bachelor? No, I actually had
Speaker 1: a I actually had a proper talker.
Speaker 2: Wow, yeah, he it was. It was pretty big. He'd
Speaker 2: been in jail before. He had like a taddy on
Speaker 2: his face, you know how they get the tear drops
Speaker 2: and stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, killed the man. I couldn't leave.
Speaker 2: He had called up and put in a threat, a
Speaker 2: death threat, and it was a.
Speaker 1: Really big deal.
Speaker 2: I couldn't I couldn't work nights. I couldn't walk to
Speaker 2: the car park by myself without security. It was like
Speaker 2: a huge deal. So I, yeah, I genuinely don't tell
Speaker 2: people where I am.
Speaker 1: How have I never heard this story. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't really talk about it.
Speaker 2: I've had some of a rough life, made a wild Also,
Speaker 2: you know what, this is an international podcast, so it
Speaker 2: really will go far and wide. We're gonna try and
Speaker 2: get you the asking cut. But I just wanted to pray.
Speaker 2: I just wanted to put it out there justin case
Speaker 2: we're not able to do it. But before we ago,
Speaker 2: you know that we have also up finish an episode
Speaker 2: without our suck and our sweet.
Speaker 1: Should I say that again, just in case.
Speaker 2: Absolutely need to say that again, I'm leaving it. Okay,
Speaker 2: we don't finish an episode without our suck and our sweet,
Speaker 2: the highlights, the lowlights, the best and the worst of
Speaker 2: our week.
Speaker 1: All right, you can kick it off. Okay, my suck.
Speaker 2: Would have to be just the story that I told
Speaker 2: at the start, where I just said I did like
Speaker 2: some runny split thing on my cement. I feel like
Speaker 2: I've broken my toes into the door. And I'm only
Speaker 2: bringing this up again now because it happened on my
Speaker 2: way here, and my foot since we've been recording this
Speaker 2: podcast is throbbing. So I broke my toes in Amazon
Speaker 2: Jungle a few years ago, Chasing pigs another story. I
Speaker 2: was chasing these wild pigs and I broke my foot.
Speaker 2: My sister had to carry me out. Ever since then,
Speaker 2: they've been really sensitive and I'm pretty sure like I've
Speaker 2: just rebroken that toe, that that's.
Speaker 1: A soul really stucky.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I don't think it's broken. Are you exaggerating?
Speaker 2: Are we gonna have to go to the hospital after this?
Speaker 2: I broken toe. You don't to is generally unless they displaced,
Speaker 2: which I can tell it's not. I just feel like
Speaker 2: it might have like recracked. I mean, this is my job.
Speaker 2: I do the X rays, but they don't do anything.
Speaker 2: You just strap it and chill.
Speaker 1: So I don't know.
Speaker 2: It's just very very tender. It's probably not broken, but
Speaker 2: that's my suck like it was.
Speaker 1: It was funny.
Speaker 2: I would have taken a really big hit to my
Speaker 2: pride had anyone been there, but they weren't.
Speaker 1: But that's the worst things happened to me.
Speaker 2: It also just shows like what a fucking trooper brit
Speaker 2: is and how dedicated she is to the course.
Speaker 1: She just broke her toe.
Speaker 2: She broke her toe, and then she came here and
Speaker 2: recorded this episode, Like what a trooper. I broke my
Speaker 2: foot in the jungle and then I went on like
Speaker 2: a three day hike with it.
Speaker 1: That's outrageous. It was ridiculous, ridiculous anyway, do.
Speaker 2: You know I'm gonna like Hyji, you know what you're
Speaker 2: suck also should be them because you slipped over.
Speaker 1: Tell me the weather here, although it was because of
Speaker 1: the weather. Yeah, the weather is horrific.
Speaker 2: So like we we kind of like know guys, we
Speaker 2: live in Bandai in case you didn't know, we're that obnoxious,
Speaker 2: But we missed the end of summer, like summer kind
Speaker 2: of ended because we all went into lockdown. And now
Speaker 2: literally the day that schools have gone back and like
Speaker 2: things are starting to get back to normal, it is
Speaker 2: piercing down here. It's been torrential for like the past week.
Speaker 2: It's so cold, it's baltic and I feel like we've
Speaker 2: been robbed. We have, I mean, we were robbed of
Speaker 2: twenty twenty. Twenty twenty is we're just gonna that was
Speaker 2: my phone. We've been robbed of twenty twenty.
Speaker 1: I feel like we just everyone just forgets that happened. Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's just start again. Blank Slate twenty twenty one.
Speaker 2: Sweet You're sweet, My sweet would have to just be
Speaker 2: the fact that I got these new apartment and I'm
Speaker 2: moving in a couple of weeks, and the facts that
Speaker 2: I own nothing. A. This sucks because my bank account
Speaker 2: is already crying.
Speaker 1: But it's also.
Speaker 2: Amazing because I loving terias and I love of starting
Speaker 2: fresh and creating a new energy, and I can pick
Speaker 2: every single thing in my whole house, which is a
Speaker 2: it's daunting, and it's expensive, and I will be eating
Speaker 2: tuna for a.
Speaker 1: While, but it's exciting.
Speaker 2: It's also like a really nice blank space to be
Speaker 2: able to like make whatever you want of it.
Speaker 1: Exactly amazing.
Speaker 2: What opportunity if you're furniture business out there and you
Speaker 2: want someone to sponsor you.
Speaker 1: Brinie's hustling. It wasn't even a hustle, but like I
Speaker 1: wouldn't say, no, girl's gotta eat. What's what's your suck?
Speaker 2: Okay, my suck is my My suck is. Also it's
Speaker 2: also a personal injury I set up there with mine. No,
Speaker 2: it's pretty pretty pathetic in comparison, but I burnt my
Speaker 2: arm cooking yesterday. And one it's a bit of a
Speaker 2: sore spot because it's actually a sore spot, but Secondly,
Speaker 2: it's because I'm just such a terrible cook that I
Speaker 2: always managed something, always manages to go wrong. Show me
Speaker 2: in the burn, you're gonna laugh at me. It's not
Speaker 2: that I went laugh cute.
Speaker 1: I had a pretty good week. Okay, it's a pretty burn,
Speaker 1: but it burns hurt, man, Yes they hurt.
Speaker 2: And also, like this week, this week, nothing is wrong,
Speaker 2: Like I know that I just said that I've had
Speaker 2: so much like surmounting work and stuff. Then I'm like
Speaker 2: drowning in my anxiety about things. But from like, nothing
Speaker 2: bad has happened. This week has been a pretty good week.
Speaker 2: So I can't complain about that.
Speaker 1: Love that for you.
Speaker 2: Just busy, just really really busy, feel like I can't
Speaker 2: catch a breath. My sweet, My sweet, is as much
Speaker 2: as I complained about it at the beginning of the episode.
Speaker 2: The whole teething thing, it's pretty fun. Marley has fully
Speaker 2: popped out two teeth. She's almost twelve months old, should
Speaker 2: be twelve months on the nineteenth of June, and she's
Speaker 2: just grown her first two teeth in like one little go.
Speaker 2: And it's so exciting because it's like the next chapter
Speaker 2: and and oh my god, I'm turning until her mom, Oh,
Speaker 2: I'm going to get full more on you guys. She
Speaker 2: also learned how to give a kiss properly, so now
Speaker 2: she purses her lips and goes It's so cute.
Speaker 1: I could die.
Speaker 2: I mean, she's been kissing for a while, but she
Speaker 2: sort of just like opens her mouth and puts it
Speaker 2: on your face, just passes you. She's got no chill,
Speaker 2: MiG no chill. I'm so obsessed with her. I might
Speaker 2: try and kidstrong the way. Oh no, social distancing. I
Speaker 2: absolutely will not.
Speaker 1: Keep it to yourself, Brittany. Guys, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for tuning in. We actually really enjoyed this episode. A
Speaker 1: little bit different, but I loved it.
Speaker 2: I hope you guys learned something, and I hope you
Speaker 2: guys are on the way to a successful financial.
Speaker 1: Relationship, financial freedom. We want you to find financial love.
Speaker 2: To every single person who's left a review recently, we
Speaker 2: like we say it all the time, but we're so
Speaker 2: incredibly grateful, Like it's just humbling to read the amazing
Speaker 2: reviews that you leave us, and it also like it's
Speaker 2: a real confidence boost for us. It also makes us
Speaker 2: want to keep creating this content for you. So if
Speaker 2: you listen to every episode, or you're a big old
Speaker 2: fan of the podcast and you haven't left a review yet,
Speaker 2: then please go ahead leave a review. We would really
Speaker 2: love that from you. We would also love it if
Speaker 2: you haven't subscribed yet. That is what helps our podcust grow.
Speaker 2: That's what helps us, you know, get into the whole
Speaker 2: ranking system on Apple ranking podcast you thingy, and it's
Speaker 2: what helps other people discover this podcast too. So, so
Speaker 2: you know the Drill, subscribe, review, share the love, tell
Speaker 2: your friends because wait no, sorry.
Speaker 1: Well all a lie, I fucked it up. Let's try
Speaker 1: that one more time.
Speaker 2: Okay, guys, you know the Drill review, subscribe, tell your friends,
Speaker 2: and share the love because we love love.
Speaker 1: Stop