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Speaker 1: Ready, Hey guys, welcome back to the podcast.

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Speaker 2: Put the keyboard away. It's back.

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Speaker 1: Well done, yes, and that's sad for everyone because you know,

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Speaker 1: we can't play music in the podcast. But this is

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Speaker 1: if you're just joining us, this is part two of

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Speaker 1: Most Awkward Sexual Encounter.

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Speaker 3: I would suggest that if you're joining us on this

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Speaker 3: podcast for the first time ever, probably go back to

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Speaker 3: part one of Most Awkward Sexual Encounters.

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Speaker 2: I reckon it's just going to work better.

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Speaker 3: But let's dip into part two here will where we

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Speaker 3: didn't really get to specific encounters. We're a bit more

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Speaker 3: general about our chat in the awkwardness of all sexual encounters.

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Speaker 1: I think, yep, we were so maybe deliberately as a

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Speaker 1: delay technique, but I also think we had a very

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Speaker 1: good chat about the total fear and unnecessary awkwardness that

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Speaker 1: occurs around trying to put a condom on. And you, honestly,

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Speaker 1: you actually said it in the meeting room before woods.

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Speaker 1: If sixteen year old me hadn't heard that, it would

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Speaker 1: have been really relieved.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, because you do. Yeah, if something goes wrong in

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Speaker 3: the bedroom, in your mind, you you just think it's

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Speaker 3: the worst in the world, the world's ending one and

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Speaker 3: they're going to tell everyone and yeah, just no, it

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Speaker 3: happens to all of us.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and if someone says it never happens to them,

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Speaker 2: they're a bloody life. Yeah, it's so true.

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Speaker 3: Anyway, let's get into more specific awkward encounters though.

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Speaker 1: We're the first thing that they often say that, don't worry,

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Speaker 1: happens all the time.

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Speaker 2: And you're like, yeah, true, yeah, no one wants to

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Speaker 2: be told that. And I've just done that. Bugger, you

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Speaker 2: said you wanted to kick things off?

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Speaker 1: Did I? Did I say that?

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Speaker 3: You tapped me on the ass when we were leaving

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Speaker 3: the urinal before he said, hey, what do you got

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Speaker 3: the first one?

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Speaker 2: And you smacked me on the ass. I think that's

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Speaker 2: my memory. It's my recollection of a brief interaction in

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Speaker 2: the urine all before.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I'm really like, I want you to know that

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Speaker 1: I don't get any like. This is not a great

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Speaker 1: thing for me to recount.

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Speaker 3: Oh bloody hell, it's a bad idea for you to go, Well,

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Speaker 3: I would have made to kick things.

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Speaker 1: I think I'm here now, Yeah, okay, So most awkward

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Speaker 1: sexual encounter. Now, obviously this is amongst a lot, but

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Speaker 1: this one really really rang home for me. So this

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Speaker 1: is when I was living in I won't say where

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Speaker 1: I was.

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Speaker 3: I didn't keep this as vague as possible in case

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Speaker 3: you know, parties involved.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I was single at the time, and I had

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Speaker 1: also just got this new medication for my depression at

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Speaker 1: the time, so I got given like these they were

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Speaker 1: called the SSRI like uptaking hibits or something, that's what

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Speaker 1: they call. So I got this new medication, right, I'd

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Speaker 1: also the other thing you need to know is I'd

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Speaker 1: also just been on a trip to Thailand, right, and

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Speaker 1: I'd bought some Xanax to help you with sleep in

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Speaker 1: Thailand yet a flight. Yes, yeah, exactly. Okay, that's where

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Speaker 1: we start off. Cool, Okay, I was also texting this

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Speaker 1: girl as.

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Speaker 3: Well in Thailand or when you were back home, back

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Speaker 3: on in the homeland. Cool.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we had a bit of a DELLI once before

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Speaker 1: i'd left came back, so there was currency. In fact,

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Speaker 1: I think we had slept together a couple of times.

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Speaker 2: Before I left.

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Speaker 1: Then I left, and then yeah, there's you know about

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Speaker 1: Xenia all right, So one time I've been out all night,

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Speaker 1: I'd been drinking and I got home and I hadn't

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Speaker 1: taken my ssri uptaking Hibada that day. Yet she so

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Speaker 1: I get home. I actually got home at that point

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Speaker 1: by myself, like I had a night out with my mates.

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Speaker 1: I was like, okay, cool, time to go home. Get home.

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Speaker 1: I get home, I take my uptaking Hibita. Right then

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Speaker 1: I get a message from her and she was like,

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Speaker 1: are you still away?

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Speaker 2: Still up?

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Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, still.

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Speaker 2: Ups A huge message means one thing.

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Speaker 1: Exactly, still still up Christian mark, just you know, classic.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, I am.

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Speaker 3: I'm home though, and just doing some push ups actually

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Speaker 3: caught me busted.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, yeah, I'm home. I'm home. And

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Speaker 1: she was like great, can I like, can I come over?

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Speaker 3: Effectually you your family home at this point and can

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Speaker 3: I just no, no, no, okay, no, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I was living out of home anyway. So she then

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Speaker 1: agrees to come over, and she comes over, and I

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Speaker 1: think it was like right before she like she arrived

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Speaker 1: at the door, Like I got a text message you

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Speaker 1: say she was at the door. Because I was living

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Speaker 1: in a sharehouse at the time, she did want to

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Speaker 1: make it. We didn't want to make a big scene.

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Speaker 1: And I goes messages like I'm at the door, yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think it was at the moment that she messages

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Speaker 1: say I was at the door that I started to

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Speaker 1: feel really really groggy.

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Speaker 2: Oh side effect from the uptaker.

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Speaker 1: No no no I oh no, oh no no. For

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Speaker 1: anyone that hasn't oh no, for anyone that hasn't. Like

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Speaker 1: there's a reason where they say, don't take like like

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Speaker 1: you you shouldn't do this, like you should not mix

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Speaker 1: sleeping pills with alcohol. A very very good reason. And

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Speaker 1: that is because, particularly with xanax, which is unbelievably strong,

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Speaker 1: it is like a complete it knocks you out, like

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Speaker 1: it knocks you around and then it knocks you out.

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Speaker 2: Can I quickly say, good friend of ours.

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Speaker 3: They weren't mixing alcohol on a sleeping pill, but Hugh

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Speaker 3: Van Kyleenberg was.

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Speaker 2: He was sick before a big presentation.

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Speaker 1: Similar situation, similar exactly, similarly, similar situation.

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Speaker 3: He was saving like an antihistamine or something to like

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Speaker 3: get him right for the performance.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he accidentally had a sleeping pill.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and then had to go and perform in front

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Speaker 3: of what two hundred and three hundred people, And then

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Speaker 3: he said he had to just be honest with the

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Speaker 3: audience and go, hey, guys, this is what's happened.

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Speaker 2: He just called it.

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Speaker 3: I've had a sleeping pill. I don't know what's going

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Speaker 3: to happen, but I'm just going to try and get

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Speaker 3: through the show. But if I if I just fall asleep,

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Speaker 3: I'm so sorry.

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Speaker 1: So you're kind of in a similar exactly, Yeah, yeah, exactly,

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Speaker 1: But I don't know what seven builds Hugh took. But

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Speaker 1: there's a reason that you can't xan X these days.

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Speaker 1: Is like a friend of mine's a pharmaist, and they

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Speaker 1: were saying, it's it's pretty much impossible to get your

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Speaker 1: hands on even if you go to a doctor and

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Speaker 1: you're like, hey, look I'm having trouble sleep or whatever,

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Speaker 1: like xan X is like a They don't. They do

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Speaker 1: not dish that out, not even if you try and

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Speaker 1: get a prescription for it.

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Speaker 2: Because he's so strong. I've never had one.

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Speaker 1: It's a full wipe out, right, So she knows to know.

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Speaker 1: I realize that I've had the a month. Something's wrong,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, this is wrong. I go and check

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Speaker 1: the bathroom and the X is gone, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, you know what you've done. I know

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Speaker 1: what I've done. So I mean, I feel like me

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Speaker 1: these days, I would have gone and just been like, hey, look,

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Speaker 1: just so you know, how does an X This is

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Speaker 1: a nightmare. But as we're discussing yesterday on yesterday's podcast,

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Speaker 1: when you're that age, when you're like twenty, you're just

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Speaker 1: not doing that because that's embarrassing and you're trying to

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Speaker 1: be cool and you're trying to be sexy.

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Speaker 3: Oh that's so sad, isn't it. Yeah, so you didn't

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Speaker 3: bring it up. You just tried to absolutely not. And

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Speaker 3: I was keen on this girl. I was keen did

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Speaker 3: you do anything? You put some mice down your pants

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Speaker 3: or like slap yourself in the face or like what

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Speaker 3: did you cold water? I'm so far gone.

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Speaker 1: I would have been at least six years deep at

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Speaker 1: this stage as well. So it's just it is a

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Speaker 1: real cocktail.

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Speaker 3: Would you do is like twist your nipples or like, like,

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Speaker 3: what's something that would like twist.

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Speaker 1: My nipples just to get you up and about wake

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Speaker 1: me up? Okay, let me in the eye. Okay.

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Speaker 3: Oh I'm just throwing things out, man, I'm just throwing nipples.

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Speaker 1: I'm also in a sharehouse as well, so I don't

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Speaker 1: want to make too much noise. It's a bit of

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Speaker 1: a nightmare anyway. In fact, no, it's a proper nightmare.

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Speaker 1: This is most awkward sexual encounter. So she comes in

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Speaker 1: and she's also a bit tipsy, so you know, things sort.

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Speaker 2: Of fire up.

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Speaker 1: I haven't had time to mention the fact, by the way,

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Speaker 1: that like I am, I am on a downhill slope.

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Speaker 1: Like every time I close my eyes to kiss her,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, woah, the wall, the walls, the walls are

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Speaker 1: caming in, and I'm like, and I'm really trying to

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Speaker 1: like again, for her sake, I don't like we're talking

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Speaker 1: about embarrassing the other person and stuff like keep in mind,

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Speaker 1: like I want to be as present for this as possible.

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Speaker 1: And also it's not like this is something that I

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Speaker 1: have on tap, Like a girl saying can I come

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Speaker 1: over late night when I'm twenty is like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: this is amazing, you know, like this is this is huge.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, it's a big moment.

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Speaker 1: So I didn't want to stuff it up. I wanted

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Speaker 1: to push through. I gotta be really careful about what

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Speaker 1: I say here, just to try and keep some sort

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Speaker 1: of like keep this kind of clean.

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Speaker 3: But I'm picturing by the way, when you're kissing her,

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Speaker 3: you know, I think people call it slugging's picturing that

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Speaker 3: you your tongue kissing her and then because you're so tired,

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Speaker 3: you lose the ability to move your tongue, so it's

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Speaker 3: just like a full tongue.

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Speaker 1: In her mouth. And she's just like, well, oh all right,

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Speaker 1: I don't know how to say this bit cleanly, but

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Speaker 1: this is a bit.

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Speaker 2: We'll do your best.

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Speaker 1: I'll do my best.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, I mean you don't really have to go

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Speaker 2: or do you.

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Speaker 1: Mean, why do you have to go into detail. I'm

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Speaker 1: not going into detail, but you just need to know

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Speaker 1: something in order for the story to finish. Okay, Look,

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Speaker 1: we can sensor this if we need to. Okay, Basically,

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Speaker 1: it gets to a point where she wants to go

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Speaker 1: to third base HM on you on me?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, got it.

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Speaker 1: And makes the really fatal decision of like doing this,

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Speaker 1: you know, like you know, like you do like a

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Speaker 1: like a high five sexy maneuver where you throw them

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Speaker 1: where you throw them on the bed, where you like

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Speaker 1: push them back on the bed.

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Speaker 2: You got pushed.

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Speaker 1: I got pushed. Keep in mind, I'm like down like

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Speaker 1: a saxophone. Push pulled me down with a feather. I

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Speaker 1: was just waiting dead man walking at this stage. So

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Speaker 1: she does the whole like sexy throw me hand on

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Speaker 1: the bed thing, which I think is awesome. But then god, ah,

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Speaker 1: I hate this. I stay awake for I reckon about

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Speaker 1: oh my god.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, oh the poor woman, my god. And

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Speaker 3: you haven't told her. So if you think about this

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Speaker 3: from her perspective, she's like I was, she would be

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Speaker 3: she would be thinking this is not the cat. She'd

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Speaker 3: be thinking, I've been so I was so bad at

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Speaker 3: what I was doing down there that I've put the

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Speaker 3: man to sleep.

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Speaker 2: So you were you were? What did you wake up

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Speaker 2: to an empty room?

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Speaker 1: But what when you woke up next morning? Like next morning,

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Speaker 1: I woke up at six o'clock. The next was the.

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Speaker 3: Gone, she's gone, the poor woman, last thing I remember.

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Speaker 3: She's doing that hoping to give obviously. Yeah, she looks

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Speaker 3: up at one point, maybe even poses a question.

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Speaker 1: After, and I was like, when was the moment and

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Speaker 1: she said.

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Speaker 2: My, oh my god, that is other poor poor woman?

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Speaker 1: How just late.

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Speaker 2: Did she put your boxes back?

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Speaker 1: Or did you wake up up not fully hands down

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Speaker 1: t shirt on shirt hands down to like upper thigh

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Speaker 1: with like so bad. It was so bad. I remember

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Speaker 1: having the moment. As soon as my head fell back

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Speaker 1: on the bed, I was like, oh, this is amazing,

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Speaker 1: and then I was like the last thing I had

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Speaker 1: was like the honestly, will the last thing you can do.

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Speaker 2: Is yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 3: What was the first contact between the two of you

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Speaker 3: in the morning.

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Speaker 1: It's a lie. I text her, where'd you go? Why?

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Speaker 2: I just needed to have a quick nap for seven hours?

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Speaker 2: Why did you leave? That's incredibly rude, brilliant.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what happened. Anyway, I texted

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Speaker 1: anything from me, I was like hey and told me.

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Speaker 1: I was just like a really sorry, and then explained

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Speaker 1: straight away what had happened. I had one of the

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Speaker 1: worst hangovers and I just had that guilt like I

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Speaker 1: was just like just really like, I feel like such

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Speaker 1: an asshole, and it was actually like I don't. She

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Speaker 1: was obviously mortified, horrible cocktail of everyone just feeling really

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Speaker 1: shit about themselves. But I was actually fine that we

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Speaker 1: you know, we caught up. No, no, didn't hook up

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Speaker 1: again after that. That she should.

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Speaker 2: Have got revenge. Imagine imagine the revenge.

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Speaker 1: Nothing went on from there. But but to be fair,

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Speaker 1: we like had a really the relief when I told her,

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Speaker 1: like she was like, we just started pissing ourselves, Like really.

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Speaker 2: When she knows that.

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Speaker 1: When she told me I could laugh. I was like,

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Speaker 1: just like literally trying to do my best work.

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Speaker 3: Just use oh great stuff. Well that's all we've got

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Speaker 3: time for. We've got part three tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: Oh oh before we go. I think k V wanted

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Speaker 1: to say something to us about the new James Bond.

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Speaker 2: I don't know though, Aaron Taylor Johnson.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so you need to watch the.

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Speaker 2: Is it Armani? The one that Aaron Tayler Johnson's in

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Speaker 2: the new ad? It's a new it's a new ad. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Then was this to celebrate the announcement of him being

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Speaker 3: James Bond? He's done an Armani ad?

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Speaker 2: No, it's not. It's about a perfume. But it just

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Speaker 2: gives you a good insight.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, I've got it. Here Is this him just

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Speaker 1: being very sexy?

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Speaker 2: Oh wow, I've got to hear.

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Speaker 1: Have you got the screen on?

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Speaker 2: Will I can say it? There he is. He's got

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Speaker 2: wet hair, he's looking into the ocean. He's black and white.

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Speaker 1: Oh, it's beautiful there.

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Speaker 3: He's found that he's found the cologne and now he's

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, he's walking nude through a bo and

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Speaker 3: I's got jeans on his He's wearing jeans in a pool.

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Speaker 1: I don't understand what does this have to go to

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Speaker 1: do with him being James Bond.

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Speaker 3: I think Kve just wants us to see how now

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Speaker 3: he's running at a cliff, running a cliff.

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Speaker 2: He's not going to jump off the cliff. He's jumping

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Speaker 2: up the cliff. Oh good dive that was. That was

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Speaker 2: a very James Bond desk dive.

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Speaker 1: Obviously not real, Kate, Is this just like what you like?

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Speaker 1: You want to be watching when you get home? I

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Speaker 1: swim with a seal, swim.

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Speaker 2: Like ten times today.

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Speaker 1: I don't watch this work?

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Speaker 2: Is it is it? Are you into the whole swim?

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Speaker 2: Go and swim with a whale thing?

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Speaker 3: I'm into him?

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Speaker 1: Oh we didn't pick that.

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Speaker 2: He he's very attractive. I found such a James Bond

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Speaker 2: thing to do, right, I find that.

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Speaker 1: Of a cliff and swimming the whale. Yeah, for sure.

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Speaker 2: I found the whale interaction very odd. That was was

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Speaker 2: that it might be an homage to Free Willie.

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Speaker 1: No, my Google search is better.

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Speaker 3: Oh speaking of Free Will, Aaron Taylors Johnson.

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Speaker 1: Wow, we'll see you guys tomorrow. Goodbye.

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Speaker 2: Look at that one.