Speaker 1: The pickup.
Speaker 2: Come on.
Speaker 3: Hollo ladies.
Speaker 4: Hello, he them, happy whins.
Speaker 3: Welcome to the pickup head in the chemistlay house today.
Speaker 3: Great savings every day, guys. The worst thing just happened
Speaker 3: to me coming into the studios.
Speaker 4: What could possibly be the worst thing on a wedness?
Speaker 3: Oh, you know me, I'm always running late, so I'm
Speaker 3: a bit of a zoomer. Like always legal driving to work,
Speaker 3: always legally in the speed limit.
Speaker 5: I like the disclaimer there. Just always do me legally always.
Speaker 3: And I cut someone off right and then they cut
Speaker 3: me off, and you know what, like you just keep
Speaker 3: cutting each other off and you just you sort of
Speaker 3: have that beef with one driver on the road.
Speaker 2: This is literally the next showed that's number one in
Speaker 2: the world right now called beef.
Speaker 3: Oh, he said, a documentary on my life. I've been
Speaker 3: being filmed anyway, kept cutting off, and then I finally
Speaker 3: got in front of them and I thought I'd won.
Speaker 3: And then I realized they're following me, and I go,
Speaker 3: oh my god, they're going to come out. They're going
Speaker 3: to kill me. They're following me all the way to work,
Speaker 3: and I go, they're.
Speaker 6: Gonna get me.
Speaker 4: There's a hypochondria.
Speaker 3: I pull into the parking lot at work. There behind me,
Speaker 3: I'm like getting my key beneath my fingers, like in
Speaker 3: between to get ready to fight them. And it's someone
Speaker 3: who works in sales at the radio Stone.
Speaker 7: That so embarrassing for you.
Speaker 4: And now no one's going to sell our show.
Speaker 3: So we're all out of jobs because of me.
Speaker 4: It's been a good run.
Speaker 7: It's been a couple of months.
Speaker 3: Sorry, Simon in sales.
Speaker 7: All right, Well, look we have a very big show
Speaker 7: happening today.
Speaker 5: We want to know what have you caught on your
Speaker 5: CCTV footage because there was a runner who has been
Speaker 5: caught in a very compromising position.
Speaker 3: Plus, if you want to go to the King's Coronation
Speaker 3: in the UK, it's happening very soon. We've got your tickets.
Speaker 3: It'll happen in the next fifteen minutes. Wednesday, AVO. It's
Speaker 3: the pickup brit Laura and Mitch stuck on a Mother's
Speaker 3: Day gift. It's coming up. Chemists Warehouse has you covered
Speaker 3: with big brand fragrances at the lowest prices that your
Speaker 3: mum will love. Chemists Warehouse Great savings every day.
Speaker 2: Lady Gaga came out many moons ago and said that
Speaker 2: she was taking like a vow of celibacy. She wanted
Speaker 2: to become celibate because she believed that when she had sex, creativity.
Speaker 4: Left her body.
Speaker 2: Now this is funny on the surface because you laugh
Speaker 2: at it because you're like, as if your creativity leaves
Speaker 2: orifices of your body when you have what are.
Speaker 3: Mental images in this one?
Speaker 7: But then I.
Speaker 4: Got thinking, and this part of it that I sort
Speaker 4: of agree with.
Speaker 2: I think when you are like single or celibate, for
Speaker 2: me personally, I am so much more productive, Like I'm
Speaker 2: more creative, I get more stuff done, I achieve more
Speaker 2: than I ever thought I could possibly achieve.
Speaker 4: Then when I'm in a.
Speaker 2: Relationship, now I'm wondering, is there something to be said
Speaker 2: with my creativity leaving different parts of my body?
Speaker 5: Are you saying that because Ben, your boyfriend is on
Speaker 5: the other side of the world and you are unintentional
Speaker 5: slash intentionally celibate, that you now feel more creative if
Speaker 5: you are, okay, it's got nothing to do with being celibate.
Speaker 7: It's got to do with your boyfriend being on the
Speaker 7: other side of the country.
Speaker 5: You can't see him, You're not going out on dates,
Speaker 5: You're not like all the things and the energy that
Speaker 5: you have to put into casual dating, or like when
Speaker 5: you first start dating someone, it.
Speaker 7: Takes up so much time.
Speaker 5: I agree, Like it's the texting, the going on online dating,
Speaker 5: all that stuff takes energy, effort and brain space. And
Speaker 5: I think once you either shift into a very long
Speaker 5: term relationship or you are intentionally celibate, you just free
Speaker 5: up so much more time in your life to dedicate
Speaker 5: to work.
Speaker 3: Brittany, what's your point? Are you trying to get Laura
Speaker 3: and I into a celibacy practicing? You want to join it?
Speaker 3: You want us to join the celibacy coal Recular.
Speaker 2: We could call Maddie Jay your husband and tay that
Speaker 2: you've decided you want to do it. You did all
Speaker 2: this research and you think you should try it for
Speaker 2: a year and see what he would do.
Speaker 4: Do direct we could do that?
Speaker 7: He say, well, it makes no difference to me.
Speaker 4: It's like, how is that any different?
Speaker 3: Hello?
Speaker 5: Hey, Honney, Hello, So I was talking about something and
Speaker 5: I have an idea for us that I would like
Speaker 5: us to try, and you have to hear me out. Okay,
Speaker 5: So did you hear about how Lady Gaga went celibate? Okay,
Speaker 5: So Lady Gaga went celibate because she felt like when
Speaker 5: she had intimacy and when she had sex that it
Speaker 5: was creatively depleting her, so that by abstaining from sex,
Speaker 5: she felt like she could be more creative and she
Speaker 5: was better at her job. Okay, Well, okay, you know
Speaker 5: how I've been talking about how I feel like I
Speaker 5: have nothing left in the tank because obviously work's been
Speaker 5: full on trying to juggle the kids.
Speaker 7: I wanted to get.
Speaker 5: Your opinion on trialing being intentionally celibate for like a
Speaker 5: few months.
Speaker 7: We do have sex every.
Speaker 4: Single week.
Speaker 8: The last six months, so un true?
Speaker 5: Okay, Well, in that case, if you actually think it's
Speaker 5: been six months, we literally have sex every single week,
Speaker 5: and you always think you always think every week like clockwork.
Speaker 8: That is not true at all.
Speaker 7: It is it actually is six.
Speaker 8: Last week, and then I can't remember the time before that.
Speaker 8: It's been like months.
Speaker 7: It was two weeks and it was because I had
Speaker 7: my period.
Speaker 8: Really okay, well, how long would you like to not
Speaker 8: have sex for?
Speaker 5: Well, if you think we've been going six months, how
Speaker 5: what okay.
Speaker 7: One year?
Speaker 8: No sex for one year because you want to be
Speaker 8: more creative.
Speaker 7: Well, both of us.
Speaker 5: I think it would make us both more creative. And
Speaker 5: then also how good would it be when we start
Speaker 5: doing it again?
Speaker 8: This rule is stupid.
Speaker 7: Six months.
Speaker 8: I mean, I'm just going to masturvate a hell of
Speaker 8: a lot.
Speaker 4: Sure, how could you be mad?
Speaker 2: It's going to feel so good when you do it
Speaker 2: for the first time, Believe it or not.
Speaker 7: I do not want to go you And also, how
Speaker 7: dare you?
Speaker 5: It is every single week except for the weeks when
Speaker 5: you know the natural body clock says no, sorry.
Speaker 3: You're on the pick up. By the way, Matt, you're
Speaker 3: on the radio.
Speaker 4: Figure that out with my cattle.
Speaker 2: That is actually Mitch and I just sat in on
Speaker 2: a therapy session about your sex life.
Speaker 4: Actually it was not supposed to happen.
Speaker 3: I think a week's plenty of time. That's very good
Speaker 3: to do it weekly. Last Thursday, it's my call. When
Speaker 3: I called you guys last Thursday.
Speaker 7: Exactly we were doing with a whole seven minutes that
Speaker 7: you were calling.
Speaker 4: Darling.
Speaker 5: I promise it'll be less than six months that you
Speaker 5: have to wait, maybe maybe another week.
Speaker 4: It's going to be.
Speaker 3: That's a private discussion, not to be had on the radio.
Speaker 3: Then he goes Australia's made it Jay everyone good luck.
Speaker 4: That was so funny.
Speaker 3: Listen, if you want to go to the UK to
Speaker 3: see the coronation of King Charles, we are sending you there.
Speaker 3: Collect your boarding pass to fly direct to London. Next
Speaker 3: to the pickup. It's the pick up Laura mitch here.
Speaker 2: Hi.
Speaker 3: Everyone head into chemist warehouse today. Great savings every day.
Speaker 5: Look, there's something that I saw yesterday on Twitter and.
Speaker 7: It's been going a little bit viral.
Speaker 5: Now have you ever had oh, I'm sure everyone's had this,
Speaker 5: had an experience where you just needed to go to
Speaker 5: the toilets so badly, so badly.
Speaker 7: Toilets are too far away. You need to relieve yourself.
Speaker 4: We call it turtlenecking. Yeah, prairie dogging.
Speaker 7: If they know what they call it. Their head in
Speaker 7: and out of the POCKETO touching cloth.
Speaker 4: Hang on, we're going with this conversation.
Speaker 5: So there is a runner, a marathon runner from Boston,
Speaker 5: and look, the call of the call of nature happened
Speaker 5: to their mid run and they couldn't make it to
Speaker 5: the portloose or to what had been set up along
Speaker 5: the run.
Speaker 7: They had to just duck out mid run.
Speaker 5: Now they left the marathon, They ducked out into a
Speaker 5: person's front yard, relieved.
Speaker 7: Themselves, popped the squad yeap, pulled.
Speaker 5: Their pants back up, and then just slid back into
Speaker 5: the run like nothing ever happened. The big thing about
Speaker 5: this was is that they thought they got out unscathed,
Speaker 5: but unfortunately for them, they were caught on the doorbell
Speaker 5: camera of the person's property taking a pool in the
Speaker 5: front gard. Now that footage has gone viral across TikTok
Speaker 5: and across Twitter.
Speaker 7: It has had five hundred thousand views. Have a look
Speaker 7: at that.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, he's squatting down.
Speaker 7: And then just runs off like nothing ever happened?
Speaker 3: Did he win the Marathon's running quite quickly away.
Speaker 4: From his crime. But what I guess?
Speaker 2: I guess there's a part of me in here that's like,
Speaker 2: I don't want anyone taking a dump in my front lawn.
Speaker 4: Having said that, sometimes nature calls what are you going
Speaker 4: to do?
Speaker 8: Like?
Speaker 4: Would you rather poop on someone's lawn or in your pants?
Speaker 5: I mean I would rather poo on someone's lawn. Would
Speaker 5: they rather me do it on their laud or in
Speaker 5: my pants? Is it probably a different question? Okay? My
Speaker 5: thing is, though, why do they go back through the
Speaker 5: video footage? Were they so convinced that it was a
Speaker 5: human pood? Like, how do you know that that that's
Speaker 5: not a great dame? How do you know that that's
Speaker 5: not a bull arrow? That's a great big dog doing
Speaker 5: a poo.
Speaker 3: And bright orange from aile the gatorady was drinking.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I personally think you ninety percent of the time
Speaker 2: you can tell the difference between a human poop and
Speaker 2: obviously they could obviously have looked at it. You know,
Speaker 2: my sister felling human pooh ones and you can tell it.
Speaker 2: Sorry outed you, but you can tell the difference between
Speaker 2: human pitop and dog peoper.
Speaker 3: Well, I guess the question here is how good is
Speaker 3: that camera? That doorbell camera? People catch things on their
Speaker 3: CCDV and their doorbell cams all the time. I'd actually
Speaker 3: be interested to know, thirteen one oh sixty five, what's
Speaker 3: the most wild thing you've caught on your doorbell camera?
Speaker 3: We got staff? Would you catch on cam? Steffie?
Speaker 6: Okay, So I'm a building manager at a big accounting
Speaker 6: firm in the city. I think accountants. It's pretty boring,
Speaker 6: boring job. Apparently something had been had gone missing from
Speaker 6: somebody's desk.
Speaker 1: So as the building manager, I needed to go through
Speaker 1: the CCTV footage and ended up catching a couple of
Speaker 1: the staff members in a compromising position. Yes, so it
Speaker 1: was after hours, so it was all it was. It was.
Speaker 1: I guess fine that it was not during work time,
Speaker 1: but yes it was.
Speaker 5: Wait were these two staff that people knew were hooking
Speaker 5: up or did they just get caught doing the ugly
Speaker 5: on someone's desk?
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, got caught.
Speaker 2: I think it's all the problem, he LAWI is more
Speaker 2: than you can't have sex at work.
Speaker 4: I don't think it's about if anyone in a relationship.
Speaker 5: Isn't it saucy finding out that your coworkers are actually
Speaker 5: getting down and doing the dirty and you had no idea?
Speaker 5: And then you come into work the next day and
Speaker 5: you're like, hey, so did you spray and wipe on
Speaker 5: this after you finished up?
Speaker 3: Oh? Stop? Have you guys ever done anything of work?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 7: I've worked for myself for so long. I went from home.
Speaker 2: So yeah, and you can do nothing here at radio
Speaker 2: because you're a cameras everywhere everywhere.
Speaker 7: Have you ever done it at work?
Speaker 4: Mite?
Speaker 3: Just think about that twice? Brittany I'm just saying it
Speaker 3: can be done. All right. Well, next on the show.
Speaker 3: You're in a bit of a conunder, aren't you.
Speaker 2: I have been asked to do something, Yeah, I mean
Speaker 2: I asked to EMC something and I just feel like
Speaker 2: it's too much pressure.
Speaker 7: You sound thrilled about it.
Speaker 4: It's too much pressure.
Speaker 3: Okay, you've made up your mind. Should we have the
Speaker 3: show now? I'm going to convince you because I think
Speaker 3: it's an easy job. I think you're built for it.
Speaker 3: And I'll tell you why after this at the pickup.
Speaker 3: It's the pick up. Wednesday afternoon, Britt, Laura and met
Speaker 3: Stuck on a Mother's Day gift Chemist Warehouse as you
Speaker 3: covered with big brand fragrances at the lowest prices Chemists
Speaker 3: ware House Great savings every day.
Speaker 2: I got asked by my brother and his fiancee to
Speaker 2: MC their wedding.
Speaker 4: That was a simultaneous side.
Speaker 7: So I don't know how I would feel if that
Speaker 7: was me.
Speaker 2: So I want to be happy and I.
Speaker 4: Want to do it a part of me.
Speaker 7: Because he might be listening.
Speaker 2: No, But I just feel like there's immense amount of pressure,
Speaker 2: like to get asked to MC a wedding, because I
Speaker 2: know the reason they said, like they want we we
Speaker 2: want you to be the MC because you're funny. You
Speaker 2: have this radio job, you speak for a living, and you.
Speaker 4: Have the podcast. People don't know that. Like I rehearse
Speaker 4: my joke, You're like, I'm not naturally.
Speaker 7: But I also feel.
Speaker 5: Like, yeah, I don't want to have to do it
Speaker 5: when I do it all day, every day, and then
Speaker 5: it becomes like there's so much pressure to be good
Speaker 5: at it.
Speaker 7: What if you suck?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I have until October. So it's they've asked me.
Speaker 2: Now I have a lot of time to play my jokes.
Speaker 4: What do I do?
Speaker 3: Okay, well, this is good because I get paid to
Speaker 3: MC weddings. I've got tips for you. Tip number one,
Speaker 3: it's not your day. It's not about you, for God's sake,
Speaker 3: the wedding is about horror, and some mcs make it
Speaker 3: all about themselves. It's a stand up routine.
Speaker 7: You can't just tell jokes about yourself.
Speaker 5: You also have to find that very nice balance between
Speaker 5: roasting your brother, roasting the groom and the bride, but
Speaker 5: also doing it with like tender love. So it has
Speaker 5: to be equal portions of roast, then love roast, then.
Speaker 4: Love like a sundwich, like a roast to beef love sewich.
Speaker 5: Yeah, with lots of love foot in there, because I
Speaker 5: think some mcs think it's all about comedy, comedy, comedy hour,
Speaker 5: and then you walk away from it, You're like, do
Speaker 5: they even like each other?
Speaker 4: I don't have a problem morasting my brother. So moving on,
Speaker 4: what's the next one?
Speaker 3: What about that?
Speaker 4: I can sprinkle the.
Speaker 3: Love on top, say say you love your brother.
Speaker 4: Dane, I love you.
Speaker 7: Believable. She's also paid actress. But you're a dicat all.
Speaker 3: Right, next point, I think you need to come fully prepared.
Speaker 3: Don't wing it because Brittany wings everything. You need to write.
Speaker 3: You need to write points. You need to know the
Speaker 3: ins and the outs. You need to know where the
Speaker 3: bathrooms are. You're like a flight to ten. The best
Speaker 3: way to vet your gig of MC and your brother's
Speaker 3: wedding is to write a practice introduction. Let's say, for example,
Speaker 3: you know what, let's throw a little pickup wedding. Let's
Speaker 3: do it. We invite you here today to celebrate the
Speaker 3: wedding of Laura Burne.
Speaker 4: Johnson, who's already married Laura Johnson.
Speaker 7: Yes, I mean Polygamy's fine.
Speaker 3: Ye and Mitch Chury myself.
Speaker 5: Oh, Mitch, I've always wish that we were in a
Speaker 5: relationship and that you were heterosexual and ask me to marry.
Speaker 4: It's never weird, Matt Block yours.
Speaker 3: We'll never get together, we'll sleep in separate bedrooms.
Speaker 7: But we'll have the best friendship so much, share a wardrobe, we.
Speaker 3: Get to watch movies all the time. Oh, it's not
Speaker 3: about US's not about it's about you. Tomorrow on the show,
Speaker 3: you need to go to bed and you need to
Speaker 3: prepare an introductory statement, So.
Speaker 7: Bring you homework.
Speaker 4: You just said I love to be on the fly,
Speaker 4: I hate home.
Speaker 5: Well, we're just making sure that you can actually prepare
Speaker 5: for something, because we know you don't prepare for this show.
Speaker 3: And a good MC prepares the show writing.
Speaker 2: An introductory wedding speech for my co host Miss Terry
Speaker 2: and Laura burn Johnson.
Speaker 7: Yeah, but we love each other.
Speaker 3: Ye we never touched each other.
Speaker 7: No sleep and separate pare Yeah, standard marriage.
Speaker 3: Okay essentially yes, all right? Well, and what are up
Speaker 3: next with Brooke Bunny to drive your home?
Speaker 7: Oh, we love Brook, but also that means that Wood
Speaker 7: he is still in the jungle.
Speaker 3: H He's gonna win.
Speaker 7: I reckon you think it's cross our jungle king?
Speaker 3: All right, we'll see you guys tomorrow for the wedding.
Speaker 4: Wedding another century,