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Speaker 1: This is a podcast about failure with me. Lola Berry, author, nutritionist,

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Speaker 1: and yoga teacher, join me as we get to know

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Speaker 1: these guests and learn about how their failures have ultimately

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Speaker 1: shaped their dreams. Welcome to fearlessly Failing with Lola Berry.

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Speaker 1: Get a it's loss here. How is everyone feeling? This

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Speaker 1: would be day five hundred and sixty one million of

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Speaker 1: isolation or lockdown in all seriousness, though, I really hope

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Speaker 1: you're going okay and feeling okay with this new normal

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Speaker 1: this week, I have some reason slept in heaps, and

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Speaker 1: I get real guilty around it. I think I've spoke

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Speaker 1: about guilt on nearly every intro since Corona's kicked in,

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Speaker 1: and for me, like being okay with letting myself sleep

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Speaker 1: in an extra hour or knowing that you can be

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Speaker 1: productive without sitting your laptop for eight hours straight. So

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Speaker 1: I think just learning that work looks a little bit

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Speaker 1: different or feels a little bit different to usual isn't

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Speaker 1: such a bad thing. And I hope that maybe resonates

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Speaker 1: with someone or helps someone. Now, the reason why we're

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Speaker 1: bringing this guest out this week is because she is

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Speaker 1: straight down the line and she's so inspiring and what

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Speaker 1: makes her inspiring is her realness. So I'm really pumped

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Speaker 1: for you to meet Abbi Gilmore. This woman is a

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Speaker 1: really young mum of three beautiful kids, and we actually met.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure we speak to this, but we actually met.

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Speaker 1: We recorded this youngs ago. Either way, I'm a bit

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Speaker 1: OCD with podcasts and record a little bit in advance,

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Speaker 1: and so Abby and I actually met at this event

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Speaker 1: that we went to together in Sorrento, and we both

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Speaker 1: got on the wines and we were kind of inseparable

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Speaker 1: after that and especially on that day. So thank you

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Speaker 1: so much, Abby for jumping on this pod. If you

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Speaker 1: are a mum or anybody that's just got your own

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Speaker 1: kind of passion, this podcast is probably for you. She's

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Speaker 1: really open about her mental health. She's really passionate about

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Speaker 1: teaching her kids resilience, and she wants to build a

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Speaker 1: profile that she's proud of and that inspires people, and

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Speaker 1: that kind of like really spoke to me. I made

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Speaker 1: some notes from the pod and some lessons that hopefully

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Speaker 1: will get you excited. She said, when things are bad,

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Speaker 1: they don't always stay that way, and when things are good,

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Speaker 1: they don't stay that way either. So nothing stays the

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Speaker 1: same for too long, which is kind of nice, especially

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Speaker 1: with the times that we're living in now. You can

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Speaker 1: have a kind of a rough day, but the next

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Speaker 1: day might be really positive. And she wrote I'm not

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Speaker 1: for everyone, and everyone is not for me. She wrote

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Speaker 1: that to me the night before we did the pod,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, how cool is that, because I'm

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Speaker 1: a bit OCD and I get a bit caught up

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Speaker 1: with thinking I need to be perfect for everyone, and

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Speaker 1: it's like, I'm totally not going to be everyone's cup

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Speaker 1: of tea. And then the final one was vulnerability is power.

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Speaker 1: This chick Abby is vulnerable. She is honest, she is real.

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Speaker 1: She is so passionate about being a mum that yeah,

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Speaker 1: teaches her kids about strength and definitely vulnerability and tapping

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Speaker 1: into how they feel. So I really hope you enjoy

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Speaker 1: this podcast I did with Abby in her bed. No

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Speaker 1: less Abby, you are a wonderful human being and it's

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Speaker 1: a total honor to have you on this podcast. Big Love. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm here on the bed with Abby Gilmore and we

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Speaker 1: were just saying, you were like, I don't know about

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Speaker 1: introing myself, and I was like, well, I googled you

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Speaker 1: and it comes up like formal wag mummy blogger and

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Speaker 1: a list of like drama basically. And and you Yet

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Speaker 1: when we were writing to each other, you were like,

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Speaker 1: this is what I want to be known for, so

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Speaker 1: why don't we start with that.

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Speaker 2: That's a good idea, And it's actually really depressing and

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Speaker 2: it gives me.

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Speaker 3: I get real anxious. I can't even put my own

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Speaker 3: name into Google. There you go, So this is great.

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Speaker 3: I guess I just want to be known for Abby,

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Speaker 3: and I've been really struggling for people to see that.

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Speaker 3: I guess because like we discussed earlier, who everyone is

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Speaker 3: so quick to pick the negatives.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we were talking about that downstairs with your mum

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Speaker 1: as well.

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Speaker 3: So I'm I feel like the last couple of years

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Speaker 3: I have really been trying to highlight the positives in

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Speaker 3: like say co parenting or mental health, like you know,

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Speaker 3: the positive being there getting help and talking to somebody,

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Speaker 3: et cetera. But every time it's like I'm just pulled

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Speaker 3: back down with a headline that's just negative.

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Speaker 2: And yeah, it sucks, And.

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Speaker 1: I'm so glad I haven't forgotten this because I was

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Speaker 1: sinking last night when I was prepping you from the

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Speaker 1: moment I met you, which was only in like December

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Speaker 1: last year, so we're recording this is it March now? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Where in March.

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh god, this is a good egg.

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Speaker 1: When I met you and sat in that cardigan all

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Speaker 1: the way to Surrender together and didn't kind of leave

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Speaker 1: each other's side, and when you said just then like

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Speaker 1: I want to be known as Abby for yourself, for

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Speaker 1: who you are, the essence of who you are. Like

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Speaker 1: the moment I met you, I knew nothing about the

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Speaker 1: headlines I was. I was introduced. We were introduced via

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Speaker 1: Olivia White, Yeah, we were, and she was like, don't worry,

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Speaker 1: Abby is real.

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Speaker 2: She said the same about you, you love Lola.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, thanks, she's one of us. And I think

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Speaker 1: I'm so glad that I got to know you that way.

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Speaker 1: And I believe that hopefully a podcast like this is

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Speaker 1: a chance for people to get to reintroduce them or

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Speaker 1: you get to reintroduce yourself to them. It's like far out,

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Speaker 1: I'm Abby, Yeah, and I've got these awesome things in

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Speaker 1: my life. Sure I've had my challenges, Yeah that's right,

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Speaker 1: but like this is who I am and the thing

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Speaker 1: that you made a list for me. Last night. Abby

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Speaker 1: was really good. She was like, here are my lessons. Here,

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Speaker 1: what are the things I'm passionate about. It's very very cool.

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Speaker 1: But you mentioned not to dive straight deep into something

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Speaker 1: kind of like big. But I think that you're here

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Speaker 1: not to sweat the small stuff, like I think you're

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Speaker 1: a very deep person. And you said vulnerability is power.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, didn't you.

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Speaker 1: I'm only I'm only asking that because I often read that, right,

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Speaker 1: I'm only asking you that because i've as I wrote it.

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Speaker 1: I was like, shit, I do this thing with my paraphrase.

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Speaker 1: I was like, am I And I'm studying a lot of.

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Speaker 2: Like I'll take it.

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Speaker 1: I'm studying keeps acting at the moment, it's all about vulnerability.

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Speaker 1: I was like, how could I change it? But I mean,

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Speaker 1: what do you mean when you say vulnerability is power?

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Speaker 1: Because I'm when I met you, I was like, oh God,

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Speaker 1: this chick's honest and you had no filter, which I love.

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Speaker 3: I mean it as in the sense that like I'm

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Speaker 3: able when I share my stories generally surrounding mental health,

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Speaker 3: which I'm finding that, like you know, a lot of

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Speaker 3: people are really stuck with that sort of stuff. But

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Speaker 3: I'm finding that when I say like, you know, oh

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Speaker 3: I struggle with a really bad depression, or you know,

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Speaker 3: my anxiety was really bad and blah blahlah, people's faces

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Speaker 3: they're like, oh god, I don't know how to do.

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Speaker 3: Like they're like, ah, what do I do? What I

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Speaker 3: do till taboo it is? Whereas when I say it,

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Speaker 3: I'm like, do you know what? The reason that it's

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Speaker 3: so nice to get it off my chest is because

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Speaker 3: once it's out there, it's not inside me anymore. Like

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Speaker 3: it's out I've taken its power away. Basically, So when

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Speaker 3: I talk about my depression and anxiety and my struggles

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Speaker 3: as a single mum, or like even today being partnered

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Speaker 3: with kids, like, it's so important to me to be

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Speaker 3: able to create that safe place for others to open

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Speaker 3: up as well. So when I say vulnerability is power,

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Speaker 3: I mean showing that side that we often hide, you know,

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Speaker 3: when when it's out there and for everybody to see

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Speaker 3: and you're okay with it, nothing else can really stop you.

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Speaker 3: You know, Like and when we do google Abby Gilmore,

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Speaker 3: don't do it. You'll see a lot of everyone's doing it.

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Speaker 3: You'll see a lot of negativity and stuff. But that's

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Speaker 3: not who I am, and I know that, and I'm

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Speaker 3: okay with that being there.

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Speaker 2: It's just I now have the power to change it,

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Speaker 2: so that's what I want to do. But I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I just I just see a really nice thing in

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Speaker 3: sharing the stuff that we don't normally because it helps

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Speaker 3: so many people, to really helps people.

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Speaker 1: And I think that being real, which is what you are,

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Speaker 1: so rare.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it is, And that's why vulnerability is power. Like

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Speaker 3: that's why I get that I get the job that

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Speaker 3: I that I have because it's rare. So like I mean,

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Speaker 3: I had someone say to me last night, what's it

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Speaker 3: like not having a job, And I thought, oh, oh,

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Speaker 3: that's nice of this male to be saying that to me.

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Speaker 3: And I clicked on his thing and he was a teacher,

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Speaker 3: and I thought, you are literally having such an impact

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Speaker 3: on children's lives, Like, stop worrying about what I'm doing.

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Speaker 3: I'm having an impact just because it's not like a

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Speaker 3: proper job these days, but we have such a huge

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Speaker 3: influence on people, and I really want to make sure

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Speaker 3: that what I am putting out is it's the hard

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Speaker 3: stuff so that people can know they can you get

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Speaker 3: something from me.

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Speaker 1: Also, I think we're living in a time where traditional

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Speaker 1: nine to five job is a thing that is merely

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Speaker 1: a choice, and there's nothing wrong if you want to

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Speaker 1: have that job, that's right, But there's also nothing wrong

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Speaker 1: if you want an unorthodox Yeah, Like, I can bet

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Speaker 1: that you're working at ten to eleven PM on a

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Speaker 1: workig for that's right, whether it be. And I know

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Speaker 1: you've got another passion that I'm sure come to life

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Speaker 1: in the coming months, and I think that's going to

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Speaker 1: take a lot of hard work. And yeah, we definitely

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Speaker 1: working beyond nine to five to make that happen.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 1: And so I think that that's kind of like an

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Speaker 1: old way of thinking. People that think you've got to

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Speaker 1: have an I've never had a nine to five job.

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Speaker 3: No, And I think that these like they're so like

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Speaker 3: it's such a traditional way of thinking, like, and we're

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Speaker 3: really trying to not break those traditions and things. But

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Speaker 3: I'm very much into creating my own norm and.

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Speaker 2: I'm happy with what I do.

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Speaker 3: And I just think that a lot of people do

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Speaker 3: have a bit of work to do to catch up,

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Speaker 3: you know, in terms of how they perceive an influencer

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Speaker 3: or you know, someone that doesn't have that normal nine

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Speaker 3: to five job, or someone that's not studying at university,

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Speaker 3: or a young person who wants to be a mum.

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Speaker 3: Like we are so closed in our thinking that I

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Speaker 3: just think that I want to be the person that

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Speaker 3: breaks those norms and just sort of says like, hey,

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Speaker 3: like give everyone a break. You know, we're all trying,

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Speaker 3: we're all living this life and we're all navigating it

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Speaker 3: in our own way. And if I can be helpful

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Speaker 3: to someone, then I'm going to do that, you know,

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Speaker 3: Like I'm not hurting anyone in the process, so totally.

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Speaker 1: And I think, like touching on the mental health stuff,

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Speaker 1: if you lived a nine to five job, didn't have

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Speaker 1: your bambinos, yeah, you'd probably be unhappy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah I would.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know so I think like everything you're just

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Speaker 1: talking about is kind of like following your truth.

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Speaker 2: Yeah one.

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Speaker 1: And I think by you're giving other people permission to

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Speaker 1: do that as well. By setting that that's a what's

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Speaker 1: that quote? Like by shining your light, everybody else around

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Speaker 1: you is inspired to shine too, and you're walking a

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Speaker 1: walking personification of that. I love that you touched on

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Speaker 1: and I do want to definitely go deeper into the

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Speaker 1: mental health stuff. But like there was a time where

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Speaker 1: you were a single mom. The girls were both under two. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like and epically young.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, how old were you then? I was twenty two?

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Speaker 3: So I was twenty two with two kids under twos,

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Speaker 3: you know what I Like, it's like, oh my belt.

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Speaker 1: Now I'm like, yeah, I was.

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Speaker 3: I was twenty to do with tikies on to do,

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Speaker 3: like and that's probably a huge thing. It's like, if

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Speaker 3: you had to spoke to me a couple of years ago,

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Speaker 3: I would have sat here and been the victim in

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Speaker 3: my story and like, you know.

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Speaker 2: I was twenty two two keys on to do like whatever.

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Speaker 2: Now I'm kind of.

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Speaker 4: Like yeah, because I don't you know what I mean

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Speaker 4: even people can say that yeah, like it's really been

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Speaker 4: it really it empowers me, Like it really makes me think,

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Speaker 4: do you know what I.

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Speaker 2: Did that I can do anything?

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Speaker 3: Like yeah, And I just want to give that to

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Speaker 3: other people who write to me who were me a

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Speaker 3: few years ago. So they are me a few years

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Speaker 3: ago and they're looking for that light and they're like

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Speaker 3: where is it? Like I'm I don't know, I don't

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Speaker 3: even know what I'm to do anymore. Like I've got

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Speaker 3: these kids and I'm like and you don't want them

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Speaker 3: to do it, and they're like, oh, but I'm like,

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Speaker 3: it's okay. You can say I didn't want my kids

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Speaker 3: either yet they were all I wanted in life, but

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Speaker 3: when I was so miserable, like I wish someone took

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Speaker 3: them from me nearly because it was just so hard

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Speaker 3: to get out of bed.

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Speaker 2: And to live and to feed them again and myself.

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Speaker 2: And whereas like, yeah, now I'm like, oh, you like

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Speaker 2: you did it, you know, and everyone can do it.

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Speaker 1: You're just also so brave of you to say that.

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Speaker 1: I think that. I mean, I'm not a mother, but

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Speaker 1: I can imagine there are days where you're like, have

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Speaker 1: I given birth to these things that I don't want

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Speaker 1: and take them back and win a return policy, you know.

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Speaker 1: And I think that it will be natural for people

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Speaker 1: to have that thought, but often that won't speak about that, right,

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Speaker 1: And that's where you're kind of like, and is it

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Speaker 1: so for some of that time you were single?

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Speaker 2: Correct? Yeah it was?

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So And also in saying that, I don't want you

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Speaker 3: to be listening if you are in a position of

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Speaker 3: you know, being a single parent with kids, thinking like

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Speaker 3: it's different for you, and I'll shut up like whatever,

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Speaker 3: I really want you to like delve into that.

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Speaker 2: It's like it's a hard time and.

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Speaker 3: You need to really feel everything that you're feeling right now,

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Speaker 3: Like it's not easy and it's not going to be

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Speaker 3: for a while. So don't look at me and think, well,

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Speaker 3: how come you're smiling, Like, don't compare your chapter one

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Speaker 3: to my chapter ten, because I've done the chapters in between,

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Speaker 3: which has taken years to get to where I am,

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Speaker 3: And that should be something that's really hopeful for you,

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Speaker 3: knowing that like in two years, you know, I'm going

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Speaker 3: to be in a completely different space. In six months,

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Speaker 3: I'll be in a different space like where you are now,

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Speaker 3: Like you're not a tree. You know you can you

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Speaker 3: will move and you will be somewhere else soon. And

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Speaker 3: all this bad stuff that's happening, it's leading you and

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Speaker 3: directing you to something better. And that's been a huge lesson,

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Speaker 3: Like that's been really something that I really think.

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Speaker 2: About even now.

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Speaker 3: Like I was messaging Well the other day saying like

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Speaker 3: I'm in this really weird place right now, like can't

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Speaker 3: explain it, but I feel off. I'm not myself, like,

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Speaker 3: but I know something's coming for me, Like it's coming.

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Speaker 3: It's just I got to go with this feeling right now,

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Speaker 3: and that that's like, that's you know, when we're in

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Speaker 3: our little shitty spaces, that's something that you can hold

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Speaker 3: on to just know that something better is coming.

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Speaker 1: And the thing that you said in that all you

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Speaker 1: said so much that I loved, but you said feel it,

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Speaker 1: like let yourself feel shit. And I think that that's

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Speaker 1: the bit that society, I don't want to say society,

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Speaker 1: but like we're kind of conditioned to be like, don't

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Speaker 1: process that really bad thing that's happening to you, Shove

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Speaker 1: it under the rug. It's not okay to talk about

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Speaker 1: being depressed, anxious, sad, not wanting in kids, all those

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Speaker 1: things that's not okay to talk about. And yet you're

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Speaker 1: saying feel it. And if you look at anything to

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Speaker 1: do with mental health or therapy, you have to process

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Speaker 1: that thing that could be hugely traumatic for you at

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Speaker 1: the time in order to move through it or else

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Speaker 1: it's going to come back for you when you're forty.

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Speaker 2: Well, that's it.

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Speaker 3: And it's like you don't process it on that emotional level,

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Speaker 3: like you then experience it on that physical level or

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Speaker 3: you know, and then it comes out in other ways.

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Speaker 3: So it's like, that's why I look at like my parents'

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Speaker 3: generation and things like that, and they kind of make

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Speaker 3: me feel like what I'm doing is it's really just

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Speaker 3: divine timing because I have the power to be able

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Speaker 3: to reconnect those guys with their feelings and show them

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Speaker 3: some things and tools and whatever and work through a

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Speaker 3: lot of the stuff that maybe they never would have

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Speaker 3: thought they would ever. And then I've got, you know,

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Speaker 3: my own kids, who we are huge on affirmations in

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Speaker 3: this house. We're huge on talking about our feelings, and

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Speaker 3: we are huge on you know, jumping into bed and

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Speaker 3: Miller was like, mum, let's talk about our emotions.

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Speaker 2: Today.

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Speaker 3: I felt really sad, but it was okay, and I'm like, great,

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Speaker 3: that's amazing. I was like, you know, I had a

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Speaker 3: really good day today, but yesterday it wasn't so good.

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Speaker 2: Like, so I have this like opportunity to be able.

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Speaker 3: To bridge these two sort of generations and that's really

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Speaker 3: powerful for me, Like, and to be able to give

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Speaker 3: that to my girl so that they grow up knowing

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Speaker 3: that emotions and feelings it's normal to talk about and

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Speaker 3: to have them, but also to be able to share

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Speaker 3: my parents, like let's work out this, this and this

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Speaker 3: and this, like let's talk about it, like it's.

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Speaker 1: Really our parents are baby boomers, so that's a generation

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Speaker 1: where you weren't hurt y, so like giving it to

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Speaker 1: empower generation, whether there's like a part missing, it's so

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Speaker 1: amazing And I was lucky enough to meet you, mum

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Speaker 1: down stairs. It's just so beautiful and gentle and caring,

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Speaker 1: and that their generation was you have kids and you

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Speaker 1: look after those kids and they are your life powerhouse.

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Speaker 2: She just did on my washing.

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Speaker 1: It's so fast. Apparently I've walked in. I was like,

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Speaker 1: it smells so good, and you're like, yeah, that's my

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Speaker 1: mom my mom's. But something that you touched on then,

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Speaker 1: and you mentioned it to me last night was I'm

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Speaker 1: passionate about teaching my kids resilience. Yep. And I look

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Speaker 1: at you and I see a very resilient human being.

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Speaker 1: And how do you, like, how do you want to

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Speaker 1: impart those lessons?

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Speaker 3: I want my kids to know that, like like, for instance,

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Speaker 3: my own story, and I mean, we can delve into that.

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Speaker 3: And I don't really want you anymore because I want

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Speaker 3: instead of we're so programmed and conditioned for when something

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Speaker 3: goes wrong in our lives, you know, it's we're meant

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Speaker 3: to be bitter, and I just want to be better.

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Speaker 3: And I think that's what I want to instill in

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Speaker 3: my kids, is that when something doesn't go to plan,

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Speaker 3: it's not put there to make you bitter.

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Speaker 2: It's put there to make you better.

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Speaker 3: So I just want my kids like everyone wants for

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Speaker 3: their kids, you know, I want them to be successful,

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Speaker 3: but along the way, I think it's really important that

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Speaker 3: they have things go horribly wrong. Like, you know, people

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Speaker 3: say to me, well, what happens if someone breaks mill

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Speaker 3: is hard?

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Speaker 2: I'm like good, Like, oh yeah, I think she will

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Speaker 2: really need that. She will learn and grow from that.

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Speaker 3: Like that'll be fantastic, you know, Like we're building resilient

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Speaker 3: children here. So I just think, like, if you're going

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Speaker 3: to go into life thinking it's going to be rainbows

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Speaker 3: and butterflies, you are going to be in for a shock.

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Speaker 3: I want my kids to know that there will be

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Speaker 3: bullies at school, there will be bullies in the workplace,

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Speaker 3: there will be people that are gonna take from you,

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Speaker 3: and there will be boys that are going to upset you.

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Speaker 3: But it's how we can come back from those things

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Speaker 3: and what you can do for other people, you know,

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Speaker 3: that will make you a really powerful human. So like,

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Speaker 3: I don't know, I just really I love that. I

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Speaker 3: love resilience in my kids. I'm really passionate about it.

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Speaker 1: And it sounds like you're super clear on teaching them perception,

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Speaker 1: because like if someone bullies you, that can be like,

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Speaker 1: you know, the bitterness, like I feel really yuck about that,

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Speaker 1: or hey, this really uncomfortable thing has happened. How can

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Speaker 1: I learn and grow from it, maybe get better? Which

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Speaker 1: is and that's simply a shift in perception. It is,

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Speaker 1: That's all it is. The circumstances are the same.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and on that, like with the kids, you know,

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Speaker 3: just for example, one of the girls was on a

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Speaker 3: little excursion and it was we're in a fruit shop

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Speaker 3: and the fruit shop lady said, you know, have some

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Speaker 3: strawberries to the kids, and so Miller had a strawberry

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Speaker 3: and then she says, have another one. So Milla had

401
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Speaker 3: another one, and a little girl in her class goes, oh,

402
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Speaker 3: you're fat, And I thought, oh, isn't it funny that

403
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Speaker 3: like a little girl and she's only little, she has

404
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Speaker 3: no idea what kind of impact that she have on

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Speaker 3: Miller like a really long lasting impact just from a

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Speaker 3: little throwaway comment.

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Speaker 2: But I thought, like, anyway, we've done a lot.

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Speaker 3: Of work at home around this. So I looked at

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Speaker 3: Miller and she looked at me, and I said, and

410
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Speaker 3: what do we say? And she goes, oh, I think

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Speaker 3: I'm beautiful just the way I am. And I was

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Speaker 3: like yes, and she looked back at me with this

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Speaker 3: big grin on her face, and I was like, good girl.

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Speaker 3: And then after the day had finished, we got in

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Speaker 3: the car and I said, you know, remember when this

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Speaker 3: happened and she goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, And I said,

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Speaker 3: like that was such a really nice way of handling it.

418
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Speaker 3: But the way we talk about like we don't really

419
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Speaker 3: label bullies in our house, but we just sort of say,

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Speaker 3: you know, that person's not very nice today because maybe

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Speaker 3: they had a bad morning, you know, not what a.

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Speaker 2: Douche, like an absolutely dick of a human. Where's the parents, like,

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Speaker 2: you know, let me add them.

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Speaker 3: It's like, okay, well, let's maybe understand that they might

425
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Speaker 3: not have had a good morning like emaials maybe that

426
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Speaker 3: a really bad sleep. And she's like oh yeah, like

427
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Speaker 3: it makes sense, mum, She's not going to that negative

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Speaker 3: straight away. She's being really considerate of someone else's situation,

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Speaker 3: and I like, I'm so proud of the girls.

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Speaker 2: They're really like they blow me away.

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Speaker 1: Imagine as well as I take that into their adolescence

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Speaker 1: and adulthood when the reality is like and the truth

433
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,720
Speaker 1: of the matter is some people are, yeah, not nice

434
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:37,879
Speaker 1: out there, but if you start to realize usually people

435
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:41,160
Speaker 1: are only mean because of their own circumstance and their

436
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:46,399
Speaker 1: own shit, yeah, it's very easy not to take it

437
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:49,080
Speaker 1: on and just be like okay, Like and I've only

438
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,760
Speaker 1: learned that through therapy for my own personal stuff, because

439
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:54,480
Speaker 1: I would take every single thing personally.

440
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 2: Oh me too.

441
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:59,359
Speaker 3: It's like I'm walking around with a backpack and someone's problem,

442
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:01,359
Speaker 3: I pop it in my backpack and then like, oh,

443
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,560
Speaker 3: there's least this problem over there, I'll pop that in

444
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:06,200
Speaker 3: my backpack and then I've got this big, full backpack

445
00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:09,360
Speaker 3: and yeah, it's like then I go nutty, and it's

446
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:12,199
Speaker 3: like we need to learn how to unpack everyone else's problem.

447
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,719
Speaker 3: So another thing that we do is we zip up

448
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:18,399
Speaker 3: our energy. Like Miller is very open as well. So

449
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:19,960
Speaker 3: when we get to school, there are a lot of

450
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,840
Speaker 3: kids running and she's like she clings and she goes

451
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:27,879
Speaker 3: into herself, which isn't her personality, but it's very overwhelming.

452
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:29,840
Speaker 3: And so I say what color are you today?

453
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:33,639
Speaker 2: And she goes orange. I was like, okay, cool. So

454
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:35,240
Speaker 2: she will do a zip from like under.

455
00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:37,600
Speaker 3: Her belly button up around her head, around her back,

456
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:40,800
Speaker 3: back to her belly button and that's like her safe bubble,

457
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:43,000
Speaker 3: so like no one can get in her energy and

458
00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:46,720
Speaker 3: it's orange, and like she'll walk in so confidently, and

459
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:48,960
Speaker 3: I'm like, there you go. Just little tools like to

460
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,639
Speaker 3: be able to do with your kids that you know,

461
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,520
Speaker 3: if we don't know, then we can't sort of help

462
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:57,399
Speaker 3: our kids. We can get frustrated, which is really common

463
00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:00,800
Speaker 3: and normal because I was getting super frustrated. But when

464
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:04,840
Speaker 3: we implement these little changes, like it just I don't know,

465
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:07,120
Speaker 3: it's like it lets you into their little minds.

466
00:23:07,359 --> 00:23:07,560
Speaker 2: You know.

467
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:10,840
Speaker 3: It's like maybe those kids running up big and scared

468
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:12,119
Speaker 3: for you, mum, but they are for me.

469
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:14,280
Speaker 2: So it was like, okay, let's stop for a sec.

470
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:16,200
Speaker 3: You're right, Like I'm in a rush to go to

471
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:18,840
Speaker 3: the gym, so I didn't even think, but we stop

472
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:22,639
Speaker 3: and like yeah, we breathe, and yeah, it's good, like

473
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:24,680
Speaker 3: I said, to the other day, she goes, Mom, I'm

474
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:25,720
Speaker 3: feeling really nervous.

475
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:27,800
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm.

476
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:29,800
Speaker 3: Feeling really tired. But I was like, all right, what

477
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:33,280
Speaker 3: about you feel nervous? I feel tired, and in a minute,

478
00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:36,440
Speaker 3: maybe we can feel cheeky. And she was like, okay, yep,

479
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:38,520
Speaker 3: and then she goes, Mum, guess what.

480
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:40,639
Speaker 2: I feel cheeky. I was like, oh my god, that's

481
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:41,119
Speaker 2: so funny.

482
00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:44,040
Speaker 3: And she's like doing silly stuff and then she went

483
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:47,040
Speaker 3: into her classroom, like just to change that mental state.

484
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:50,000
Speaker 2: It's so powerful, so powerful.

485
00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:53,119
Speaker 1: It sounds like you're super I feel like you're a

486
00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:55,800
Speaker 1: supercarer of humans in general. Like I think that's your

487
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,720
Speaker 1: nature is to care and to help and to heal.

488
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:04,320
Speaker 1: And I'm as you were tracked that in your life

489
00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:07,480
Speaker 1: on many levels, i'd imagine. But the fact that you're

490
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:11,800
Speaker 1: like so in tune in and intuitive with your kids

491
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:15,280
Speaker 1: like that these are all, like all the examples you've

492
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:18,040
Speaker 1: given would work. I'm like, I could do that for myself.

493
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:22,080
Speaker 3: And that's where I've kind of got them from is

494
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:24,800
Speaker 3: because I was doing them with myself. I was like,

495
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:27,320
Speaker 3: you know, how can we make this child friendly? Like,

496
00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:29,880
Speaker 3: how can I make it so Miller understands and that's

497
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:33,600
Speaker 3: why I'm absolutely blown away. Like five and three years

498
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 3: old and their emotional intelligence.

499
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:36,960
Speaker 2: It blows my mind.

500
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:40,439
Speaker 3: But it's really helped me in my own process because

501
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:43,199
Speaker 3: I needed I didn't feel understood, so I needed to.

502
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:47,680
Speaker 3: It's almost as if I have taught them these things,

503
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:50,639
Speaker 3: because sometimes when the outside people don't understand me, my

504
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:53,400
Speaker 3: kids do and I feel really I just feel heard,

505
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:55,760
Speaker 3: and that for me is like it's enough.

506
00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:58,520
Speaker 1: It sounds like as well, you've created a very safe

507
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:02,560
Speaker 1: space for your kids to explore their emotion and even

508
00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:06,840
Speaker 1: the fact that they can verbalize I'm feeling nervous. A

509
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:09,600
Speaker 1: lot of kids wouldn't even know what that feels like. Yeah, yeah,

510
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:14,640
Speaker 1: pretty powerful, Like you should be proud of yourself. You've

511
00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:18,359
Speaker 1: obviously done the work to be with your kids.

512
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:20,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's stressful as well.

513
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:23,600
Speaker 3: There's that element to like when you're the conscious person

514
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:26,399
Speaker 3: and then you're around other people who are not, and

515
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:28,640
Speaker 3: then you worry about all the silly things that they're

516
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:30,520
Speaker 3: not worrying about, and then you're like, sometimes I just

517
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:31,440
Speaker 3: wish I wasn't.

518
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:34,160
Speaker 2: So open, or like, you know, how gift You come

519
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:36,679
Speaker 2: home and you're like, oh, I'm stressing because maybe I

520
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:38,639
Speaker 2: didn't do this right blah blah blah blah, and like,

521
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,080
Speaker 2: you know, you just think way too much, Like.

522
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:44,240
Speaker 1: I think that's an over a mother would naturally. Yeah,

523
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:47,280
Speaker 1: how do you then bridge that into co parenting because

524
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:50,520
Speaker 1: that's a very specific way of parenting and to me

525
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:56,000
Speaker 1: it sounds nourishing, nurturing, super caring, super holistic.

526
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:56,440
Speaker 2: Yep.

527
00:25:57,320 --> 00:26:00,440
Speaker 1: How does that then merge into you know.

528
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:03,199
Speaker 3: It's been like a really it's been a process and

529
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,359
Speaker 3: it's and I suppose that again there's another lesson is

530
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:09,320
Speaker 3: that don't expect to be co parenting and nailing it

531
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:12,800
Speaker 3: straight away. Like it's like it's really messy at the

532
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:17,240
Speaker 3: start because you are finding your feet and it's like

533
00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:20,479
Speaker 3: ego is a huge thing. It comes into it and

534
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:23,600
Speaker 3: you're dealing with not only your own ego but somebody else's.

535
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:25,679
Speaker 3: And then if you're partnered, you've got you know, another

536
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:29,960
Speaker 3: one and another one, and it was messy. I was

537
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:33,600
Speaker 3: very protective, and you know I was. I was probably

538
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 3: really hard to deal with at the very start.

539
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:42,920
Speaker 2: So sorry, but you know what, again, being vulnerable. I

540
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:43,960
Speaker 2: I love talking.

541
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:46,400
Speaker 3: About it to them and I love to laugh at

542
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:49,439
Speaker 3: myself and I love to just be like you know,

543
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:50,040
Speaker 3: I have.

544
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 2: I acknowledge that I've come.

545
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:55,359
Speaker 3: A long way, and I've said from the start like

546
00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:58,000
Speaker 3: this won't be easy for me, it will be a process.

547
00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:00,920
Speaker 3: And now I'm at the point where i can say, hey,

548
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:03,640
Speaker 3: mill is about to start school. Just giving your heads

549
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:06,840
Speaker 3: up before I'm acting funny. I'm actually not coping very

550
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:09,800
Speaker 3: well like I thought i'd be okay, but I'm not,

551
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:12,159
Speaker 3: like it sucks, and I just really need to be

552
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:13,680
Speaker 3: the one that's there and doing it all.

553
00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:15,480
Speaker 2: And it's nothing to do with you.

554
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:19,639
Speaker 3: It's completely how I'm feeling, and that just the communication.

555
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:23,920
Speaker 3: Once you've nailed the communication, everything is fantastic.

556
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:25,639
Speaker 1: Like and you sound quite open as well with your

557
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:26,440
Speaker 1: co parenting.

558
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:28,840
Speaker 3: Situation just in yeah, yeah, I mean I'm open on

559
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:30,960
Speaker 3: my side of the fence. I'm very open and I

560
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:34,280
Speaker 3: completely respect the other side. So this is purely just

561
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:35,440
Speaker 3: like my own.

562
00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:38,720
Speaker 2: My own struggles were control.

563
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:41,159
Speaker 3: I thought that I had to be in control, and

564
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:43,960
Speaker 3: when you are co parenting, you realize that you are not.

565
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:46,879
Speaker 2: So you have to share kids.

566
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:50,719
Speaker 3: You have to have that time away from them. And

567
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:52,919
Speaker 3: when I wasn't with them, I tried to control the

568
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:57,119
Speaker 3: situation and I would probably create it would create like

569
00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:00,400
Speaker 3: tension between both because you know, as a mum, you're

570
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 3: very maternal. You want the best for your kids, you

571
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:05,600
Speaker 3: want to protect them. You feel like you can't. But

572
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:08,400
Speaker 3: again it's ego, you know, once you sit back and say,

573
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:12,320
Speaker 3: hang on a minute, like my kids are safe, my

574
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:13,119
Speaker 3: kids are happy.

575
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:15,920
Speaker 2: They need to be with their dad too.

576
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:20,439
Speaker 3: Stop being selfish, like, you know, just relax, go do

577
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:22,960
Speaker 3: something for you. Like they were coming home and I

578
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:25,400
Speaker 3: was big ball of nerves because I had worried about

579
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:27,600
Speaker 3: them so much, and they were fine.

580
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:30,679
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, and that was a lesson.

581
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:32,760
Speaker 3: I'm not in control of everything, and I don't have

582
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 3: to be so relax like all I can control is

583
00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:37,720
Speaker 3: now and right now I'm gonna have a bath, or

584
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:40,600
Speaker 3: right now I'm gonna go to kmart.

585
00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:45,640
Speaker 1: And I think also like you do your best. Yeah,

586
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:47,960
Speaker 1: and I feel like you show up, just even in

587
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:51,080
Speaker 1: this small snip that I've had with you, now it

588
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:52,680
Speaker 1: sounds like you just show up and you're just like

589
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:54,600
Speaker 1: I'm need the best mum that I can be, and

590
00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:57,000
Speaker 1: I'm going to connect with these kids. Yeah, in the

591
00:28:57,040 --> 00:29:00,200
Speaker 1: ways that feel the most nourishing and the realist I

592
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:03,160
Speaker 1: think being real is very important for you. It is,

593
00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:06,520
Speaker 1: and you can see that in the way you speak

594
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:09,200
Speaker 1: about your kids, just like this feels right, this is

595
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:12,360
Speaker 1: what I'm doing. Yeah, and you're doing it very unapologetically,

596
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 1: and I love that.

597
00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:13,720
Speaker 2: Yeah.

598
00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:16,160
Speaker 3: I think you have to be like and I think

599
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:20,160
Speaker 3: it's okay to like, you know, make mistakes. And a

600
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:22,680
Speaker 3: lot of people say to me just regarding like, you know,

601
00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:26,080
Speaker 3: information that you do find when you google shit, what

602
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:27,680
Speaker 3: are you going to do when your kids grow up

603
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 3: and they read stuff and blah blah blah. And I

604
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:33,560
Speaker 3: think to myself, my kids know where I'll be. They

605
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:36,000
Speaker 3: can sit down with me, they can sit down and

606
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:38,080
Speaker 3: have a chat and we can go over things. And

607
00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:42,960
Speaker 3: I'm like, that's so irrelevant. I don't care what people think,

608
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:47,440
Speaker 3: like I care about what I I don't know what

609
00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:49,200
Speaker 3: I think and what my girls think. That's really all

610
00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:51,480
Speaker 3: that matters. Like that's just noise. The rest is just noise.

611
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:54,640
Speaker 3: It's the media doing their thing. Like the girls will

612
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:57,400
Speaker 3: understand that they know how this, they'll know how this works,

613
00:29:57,520 --> 00:30:01,520
Speaker 3: and they'll have, you know, a real great perspective, and

614
00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:03,240
Speaker 3: I think it'll be really awesome for them to be

615
00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:05,520
Speaker 3: able to look back at a shit situation, but also

616
00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:07,600
Speaker 3: see how far Mum and Dad have come, you.

617
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:08,720
Speaker 2: Know, like how awesome that.

618
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:12,080
Speaker 3: You know, you might read that cool, Wow Mom, that's

619
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:13,960
Speaker 3: crazy or wow Dad, that was crazy, but like look

620
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:17,080
Speaker 3: at you guys now, and that that's always been the

621
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:20,080
Speaker 3: motive from the beginning. So take it or leave it

622
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:23,000
Speaker 3: like it is what it is and you can't change things.

623
00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:24,800
Speaker 3: And you know, I was twenty two. I did the

624
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:26,160
Speaker 3: best I could with the tools I had them.

625
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:27,200
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, now.

626
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:30,880
Speaker 3: I'm twenty six and I love my situation and it

627
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:33,160
Speaker 3: works so well for us and I'm happy, so like

628
00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:36,200
Speaker 3: power to us. You know, the girls might go through

629
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:38,360
Speaker 3: co parenting and shit, and I'll be like, hey, it's

630
00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:40,520
Speaker 3: going to be really hard to start, but promise you

631
00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:42,360
Speaker 3: if you do this, this and this all, just be open,

632
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:46,320
Speaker 3: like you know, you'll get there eventually. How cool, Like

633
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:48,320
Speaker 3: like it's got to be you know that positive spin

634
00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:48,600
Speaker 3: on it.

635
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:50,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, miserable.

636
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,280
Speaker 1: A few people ask questions about the co parenting stuff.

637
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:55,240
Speaker 1: I'm just going to get really rude and go on

638
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:57,600
Speaker 1: inside and look at these questions because they came through

639
00:30:57,680 --> 00:30:59,440
Speaker 1: as we were coming in here, and I was like,

640
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:01,480
Speaker 1: these are much good question.

641
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 3: It's an interesting topic because I mean there's only a

642
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,840
Speaker 3: few that like to do it consciously, and sometimes it

643
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:11,520
Speaker 3: is a really negative thing, like you know where.

644
00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:14,000
Speaker 2: This is not always positive.

645
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:17,800
Speaker 1: This one I love. It's how has Abby's self healing

646
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,920
Speaker 1: work had a positive impact on your co parenting, So

647
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:25,680
Speaker 1: like when you were feeling mentally flat and anxious to

648
00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:27,960
Speaker 1: press all of that, then you obviously had to go

649
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:30,760
Speaker 1: and do work on yourself. Yeah, and obviously that's had

650
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:33,240
Speaker 1: a massive impact on Yeah, the twenty two year old

651
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:35,240
Speaker 1: Abbi versus the twenty six year old I would want

652
00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:37,280
Speaker 1: to share a bit about your self healing journey.

653
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:37,720
Speaker 2: Yep.

654
00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:41,959
Speaker 3: For me, I like it was a bit of an

655
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 3: intervention to get me some help because I was very

656
00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:47,480
Speaker 3: like I'm fine and I don't need it, and you know,

657
00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:50,080
Speaker 3: going out every week and drinking myself silly, Like it's

658
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:51,320
Speaker 3: just it's just a phase.

659
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:52,240
Speaker 2: Like I'm okay.

660
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:57,520
Speaker 1: Remember you're twenty two at this stage, that's right, Yeah,

661
00:31:57,600 --> 00:31:59,120
Speaker 1: twenty two. I think I was still a DJ.

662
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:00,760
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, And that's the thing.

663
00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:03,720
Speaker 3: It's confusing because you're like, well, I am just doing

664
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:06,440
Speaker 3: normal twenty two things, but then it's like you've got

665
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:08,320
Speaker 3: Dad in your ear reminding you, yeah, but you've got

666
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:09,000
Speaker 3: two kids and.

667
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:12,400
Speaker 2: You're like, oh yeah, Like I can see where we're

668
00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:14,480
Speaker 2: getting communication issues here.

669
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 3: But it was a wake up call because although I

670
00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:20,360
Speaker 3: was a twenty two year old who would normally it's

671
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:23,280
Speaker 3: acceptable to do those things, that's not who I was,

672
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:24,560
Speaker 3: and everyone knew that that's.

673
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:25,880
Speaker 1: Not who I was, like escapism.

674
00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:28,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wanted to be a mom from when I

675
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:31,560
Speaker 3: was five, you know, like I got pregnant at nineteen,

676
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:34,800
Speaker 3: like Abby wasn't Like I wasn't the going out drinking

677
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:37,440
Speaker 3: kind of girl, so it wasn't in my nature to

678
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:40,960
Speaker 3: be doing what I was doing. Yeah, and I was.

679
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:42,720
Speaker 3: I couldn't remember things i'd be.

680
00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:43,600
Speaker 2: I was God.

681
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:45,840
Speaker 3: I remember I ended up in some random's house like

682
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:49,000
Speaker 3: it was really dangerous, it's not it wasn't nice.

683
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:51,440
Speaker 2: My sister was like it's not okay. My dad was

684
00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:52,200
Speaker 2: like it's not okay.

685
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:54,560
Speaker 3: And I got really angry at them, the people that

686
00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:57,800
Speaker 3: I love the most. I was like, just leave me alone,

687
00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:00,880
Speaker 3: like you don't know what it's like. You're not me, Like,

688
00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:04,160
Speaker 3: leave me alone. And I think it was my mum

689
00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:06,000
Speaker 3: come down one day and was like you know what,

690
00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 3: Me and my friend Sally where you're going to the doctors,

691
00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:14,680
Speaker 3: like it's hard to get a mental health plan, yep,

692
00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:16,640
Speaker 3: and you need to start seeing it, you know, you

693
00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 3: need to start seeing someone. So I was like, okay,

694
00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:21,640
Speaker 3: like yeah, right, you're right, I really should.

695
00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:22,920
Speaker 2: So I did.

696
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 3: And it was the best thing I did, Like just

697
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:27,600
Speaker 3: to be able to go and unpack everything to someone

698
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:31,920
Speaker 3: that wasn't involved, who didn't know me who you know,

699
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:32,880
Speaker 3: it was just who.

700
00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:36,400
Speaker 2: Had really good tools for me to use. It was

701
00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:38,720
Speaker 2: the best thing I did. And anyway, I did that

702
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:39,680
Speaker 2: for months.

703
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:42,800
Speaker 3: But then I met one of my friends, Claire Hill,

704
00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:45,360
Speaker 3: and she is a psychic medium.

705
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:46,800
Speaker 2: She's a life coach.

706
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:51,520
Speaker 1: You've told me about Claire the car ride, I remember, Yeah,

707
00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:52,720
Speaker 1: And I met Claire and.

708
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:58,040
Speaker 3: Honestly, like we were two souls that we met for

709
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 3: a purpose, like and this purpose was greater than us.

710
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,880
Speaker 3: It was like, you know, together we felt so powerful,

711
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:06,600
Speaker 3: which was crazy because I felt so weak and vulnerable

712
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:11,040
Speaker 3: at the time. But you know, she really opened up

713
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:16,600
Speaker 3: something in me. And from that day, like, I've just

714
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:19,640
Speaker 3: been going down more of a spiritual path, like that's

715
00:34:19,680 --> 00:34:23,640
Speaker 3: what works for me. I loved the help side of things,

716
00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:26,759
Speaker 3: you know. Psychologist counselors and stuff like I.

717
00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:27,560
Speaker 2: Did all of that, but.

718
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:31,720
Speaker 3: When I went over to this spiritual side and really

719
00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:36,319
Speaker 3: got to connect with my purpose and my soul, I

720
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:38,520
Speaker 3: guess which I know it sounds all weird, but once

721
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 3: I started journaling and getting out the stuff that was

722
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:45,160
Speaker 3: in my head out and talking and I don't know,

723
00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:46,600
Speaker 3: it's like I got cracked open.

724
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:50,200
Speaker 2: I really got cracked open spiritual stuff.

725
00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:53,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, like and now I'm I don't know, like that's

726
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:57,120
Speaker 3: why I'm like, guys, mistakes are fun, Like yeah, not

727
00:34:57,200 --> 00:35:00,080
Speaker 3: at the time, but like, yeah, you really got a

728
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:03,560
Speaker 3: because you love that You've got to crack yourself open.

729
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:06,040
Speaker 1: You never know as well, like given your time again,

730
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:08,359
Speaker 1: you might might say I wouldn't have changed the thing.

731
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:10,640
Speaker 3: I won't, like I know, and I've said it from

732
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:14,120
Speaker 3: the start, like I wouldn't change the thing because oh,

733
00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:16,759
Speaker 3: look at my girls, like a Mason, I wouldn't have

734
00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:19,400
Speaker 3: met Leef, you know. And I had the best time

735
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:24,919
Speaker 3: with everyone that's been you know, in my life I had.

736
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:27,919
Speaker 3: I've had such awesome, fun memories like why would you

737
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:30,279
Speaker 3: erase those, you know, just for some shitty ones?

738
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:32,360
Speaker 1: And one thing I'm glad you brought Mason up because

739
00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:34,239
Speaker 1: when you were talking about your girls and how they

740
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:37,000
Speaker 1: can describe their emotions and they're really in touch with

741
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:40,359
Speaker 1: how they're feeling, imagine raising a boy that way.

742
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:42,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, well I can't wait.

743
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:45,000
Speaker 1: I know, but like it's you're going to give him

744
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:48,440
Speaker 1: a superpower. You realize that, right, yeah, because it's so

745
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:53,080
Speaker 1: rare for a male to be really in time. My

746
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:55,760
Speaker 1: boyfriend is the first person that I've really been around

747
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:58,080
Speaker 1: that is like my heart doesn't feel good today, and

748
00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:01,560
Speaker 1: I'm like, wow, like that's powerful. Let's talk about that.

749
00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:03,520
Speaker 1: And it's like, yeah, I've it slept with the last

750
00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:05,480
Speaker 1: few nights and like its just have this really open

751
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:08,000
Speaker 1: conversation about the energy around his heart.

752
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:10,480
Speaker 2: It's amazing because otherwise you don't well.

753
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:12,880
Speaker 3: Then you come home and the partners like, you know,

754
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:15,640
Speaker 3: they're angry, and you're like why are you angry? And

755
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:17,720
Speaker 3: then all of a sudden you're fighting over like silly

756
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:20,480
Speaker 3: things and expectations and things that you're just like what

757
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:21,920
Speaker 3: is like what's going on?

758
00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:24,440
Speaker 1: And you and me spoke about expectation before this, and

759
00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:28,640
Speaker 1: that's me and my boyfriend's Matt Matt's mantra. We just

760
00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:32,319
Speaker 1: there's no expectations it's very unconditional love. And I think,

761
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 1: like to go back to Mason, bring somebody up a

762
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:39,839
Speaker 1: male that is so clear with who they are innately,

763
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:45,880
Speaker 1: like on a soul emotional level. Is I'm excited to

764
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:46,239
Speaker 1: watch that.

765
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:48,040
Speaker 2: I know, it's actually really exciting.

766
00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:52,240
Speaker 3: Like it's really funny because Lee and I in our relationship,

767
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:55,560
Speaker 3: we're almost going through something and we've just sort of

768
00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:58,840
Speaker 3: it's almost like we've come out of the crappy phase

769
00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:01,000
Speaker 3: of it and now we're in like the part where

770
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:03,640
Speaker 3: we're understanding why that happened and.

771
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:05,760
Speaker 1: You'll get even closer yeah, as a result.

772
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:09,440
Speaker 3: And he is like he's super in tune with his

773
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,279
Speaker 3: emotions and stuff. But being you know that male, it

774
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:14,759
Speaker 3: was never something you really expressed and talked about. So

775
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:17,800
Speaker 3: like you've basically ended up with the wrong partner, buddy,

776
00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:19,280
Speaker 3: because we are all.

777
00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:21,520
Speaker 2: About emotions and feelings and that's what we do in

778
00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:22,200
Speaker 2: this house now.

779
00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:25,719
Speaker 3: And just recently he was having a conversation with me

780
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:28,080
Speaker 3: and he said, oh, you know, like I just didn't

781
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:29,640
Speaker 3: feel like his energy was that great.

782
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:31,640
Speaker 2: And I was like, what'd you say?

783
00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:32,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, And.

784
00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:35,879
Speaker 3: I just didn't really feel like his energy was that great.

785
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:38,200
Speaker 3: I didn't feel like he really was blah blah blah.

786
00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:40,480
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh my god, I love that

787
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:43,239
Speaker 3: you just said that because you're so much more aware now,

788
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:46,879
Speaker 3: like you know it was in you. You just we're

789
00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:50,359
Speaker 3: unlocking it more and more. And I love like, he's

790
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:53,320
Speaker 3: so much more attractive to me when he's a conscious human.

791
00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:56,480
Speaker 1: Yeah. It's funny because I'll watched a lot of your

792
00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:58,879
Speaker 1: insert stories. You two are very cute together, and he's

793
00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:02,040
Speaker 1: got this beautiful soft yeah, very yeah, and so naturally

794
00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:04,640
Speaker 1: I think you're probably just going to crack open. Yeah,

795
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:08,680
Speaker 1: was like that person's energy is left up. That person's

796
00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:11,440
Speaker 1: energy is good. You probably have the like it's kind

797
00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:12,200
Speaker 1: of like myagi.

798
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:14,640
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, I mean, don't get me wrong, he

799
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:15,520
Speaker 3: can be stubborn.

800
00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:19,920
Speaker 1: It's hell, but like it's.

801
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:22,640
Speaker 3: So cool to see your transformation in a relationship, Like

802
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:26,000
Speaker 3: I met Lee when I wasn't really I was a

803
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,040
Speaker 3: lost soul, you know, And I hear a lot of

804
00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:30,040
Speaker 3: the time, you know, you can't be with someone until

805
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:30,880
Speaker 3: you're happy with yourself.

806
00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:32,640
Speaker 2: And I think, you know, and I kind of detest

807
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:35,279
Speaker 2: that a little bit. I agree. I needed with it.

808
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:37,640
Speaker 3: I needed love when I didn't have it. I needed

809
00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:40,719
Speaker 3: to be shown love because I didn't feel worthy. I'm like,

810
00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:43,279
Speaker 3: he literally came in and showed me love when I

811
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:46,200
Speaker 3: didn't even love myself, and that was really powerful for me.

812
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:49,359
Speaker 3: I'm a different person to the abbey that Lee met,

813
00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:51,400
Speaker 3: and that was something that was he was struggling with.

814
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:53,960
Speaker 3: I think the last few months is that I am

815
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,840
Speaker 3: actually quite independent and I love my time alone and

816
00:38:56,840 --> 00:38:59,560
Speaker 3: I love to fill my cup and I I love

817
00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:02,359
Speaker 3: to have me time, Whereas he was sort of.

818
00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:04,319
Speaker 2: Like, oh is she angry at me? Like why is

819
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:06,960
Speaker 2: she taking this time to herself? We should be together now,

820
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:07,799
Speaker 2: like the kids are asleep.

821
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:10,239
Speaker 3: I don't get it, So I kind of have been

822
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:12,719
Speaker 3: trying to explain that, like, you know, in order for

823
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:15,960
Speaker 3: me to give you the best of me, I need

824
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:17,280
Speaker 3: to go and do these things.

825
00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:20,279
Speaker 1: I totally agree with you with it there. I think

826
00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:22,600
Speaker 1: that when you love and know who you are, your

827
00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:26,120
Speaker 1: meetings and I just say totally, and I think love heels.

828
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:29,360
Speaker 1: So I think Lee's love would have healed your heart

829
00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:31,920
Speaker 1: in some way when you probably needed.

830
00:39:31,719 --> 00:39:32,720
Speaker 2: It more than you realize.

831
00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:35,640
Speaker 3: I think when you what people mean by this maybe

832
00:39:35,719 --> 00:39:38,440
Speaker 3: is that, like you know, when when you have a

833
00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:41,160
Speaker 3: relationship breakdown, it's like you've got you know, you've got

834
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:44,200
Speaker 3: two fists together. Yeah, you've got one person is changing

835
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:46,040
Speaker 3: and the other one's staying the same. And this is

836
00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:47,359
Speaker 3: where you grow differently and grow.

837
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:48,319
Speaker 1: Yeah.

838
00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:50,239
Speaker 3: So I think where the trouble is is when you

839
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:53,320
Speaker 3: meet someone who is you know, we consider them broken

840
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:56,920
Speaker 3: or a lost soul. They've got so much growing to

841
00:39:56,960 --> 00:40:00,279
Speaker 3: do a head that when they start that journey, if

842
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:02,520
Speaker 3: the partner is not willing to come with them, we

843
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 3: have trouble. So yeah, you know, you can't meet someone

844
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:07,120
Speaker 3: until you love yourself. You can, but you've got to

845
00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:11,200
Speaker 3: both be really open to growing together. And that's something

846
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:13,759
Speaker 3: like I'm so happy that Lee is you know, he's

847
00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:15,879
Speaker 3: becoming a better person too.

848
00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:17,040
Speaker 2: It's really nice.

849
00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:20,160
Speaker 1: And they say that growth happens the moment you feel

850
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:22,759
Speaker 1: a bit uncomfortable. Yeah, so that a little bit of

851
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:25,560
Speaker 1: like oh, why isn't Abby hanging out with me tonight?

852
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:28,080
Speaker 1: That is where the magic kind of happens. So you

853
00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:30,439
Speaker 1: have to feel that, like you know, you can see

854
00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:33,160
Speaker 1: you coming through the funky kind of that's the magic.

855
00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:36,200
Speaker 1: That's the moment, and he's been forced to feel that.

856
00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:38,560
Speaker 1: And that's why I say, you get even closer after

857
00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:39,280
Speaker 1: each account.

858
00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:41,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it makes you have that chat like I mean,

859
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:43,720
Speaker 3: I'll be in the bath he's like, have I done something?

860
00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:45,799
Speaker 2: I'm like no, But you're really pissing me off now

861
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:50,719
Speaker 2: because then I feel like I go to get out,

862
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:52,239
Speaker 2: like you know, and why do I have to get out?

863
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:53,799
Speaker 2: It's ten o'clock. I'm allowed to me in the bar

864
00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:54,640
Speaker 2: like ah?

865
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:57,360
Speaker 3: So like then you come back, you have that conversation

866
00:40:57,480 --> 00:41:01,359
Speaker 3: about like when I'm doing this for me, like I'm

867
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:03,279
Speaker 3: going to be so much better for you later, you know,

868
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:05,080
Speaker 3: so you get the best of me, not the rest

869
00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:05,319
Speaker 3: of me.

870
00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:07,200
Speaker 2: Like that's why I do these things.

871
00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:10,600
Speaker 1: You know, Oh my god, I could talk to you older.

872
00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:18,320
Speaker 1: Do you know this guy's I didn't. I love that you.

873
00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:22,439
Speaker 1: I love that you wrote this about yourself. You wrote

874
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:24,640
Speaker 1: a few things we haven't even touched on yet. But

875
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:27,120
Speaker 1: I'm not for everyone and everyone is not for me.

876
00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:30,800
Speaker 1: Can you extrapolate that? Because I love it so much.

877
00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:34,240
Speaker 3: Well, what I've learned from this job is that you will.

878
00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:39,720
Speaker 3: You're constantly you know, you're constantly coming into negativity. People

879
00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:42,920
Speaker 3: don't like you for something, or you know, they disagree

880
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:47,719
Speaker 3: with whatever you've just said, or I don't know when

881
00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:50,000
Speaker 3: when I was going through a lot of my own crap.

882
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:53,920
Speaker 3: You know, you've got people who are just brutally awful,

883
00:41:55,239 --> 00:41:57,319
Speaker 3: and if you really want to delve into that side

884
00:41:57,320 --> 00:41:59,520
Speaker 3: of things, it can really have a big impact on you.

885
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:01,279
Speaker 3: You know, you start to think, maybe I need to

886
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:03,960
Speaker 3: change the way I look, or you know, maybe I

887
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:07,239
Speaker 3: should just shut up, or maybe, you know, maybe life

888
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:10,120
Speaker 3: would be better if I wasn't in it. Like those

889
00:42:10,239 --> 00:42:12,759
Speaker 3: kind of comments can really get you down. So I

890
00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:14,759
Speaker 3: think for me, it was about coming up with a

891
00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:18,680
Speaker 3: mantra that made me know and understand that I will

892
00:42:18,719 --> 00:42:21,120
Speaker 3: forever be coming across people who do not love me,

893
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:24,640
Speaker 3: but there will always be people who do. So I

894
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:26,319
Speaker 3: want to be for them people. You know, I don't

895
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:27,840
Speaker 3: want to be for the ones that don't love me.

896
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:30,160
Speaker 3: I don't want to be reacting on my Instagram being

897
00:42:30,239 --> 00:42:35,520
Speaker 3: like listen up, like you whankers, like I am blah

898
00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:37,640
Speaker 3: blah blah blah blah. No, like I want to be

899
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:40,480
Speaker 3: coming on saying like, hey, guess what, Like you know,

900
00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:43,120
Speaker 3: I've just had a thought about this and this is

901
00:42:43,160 --> 00:42:45,440
Speaker 3: what's helped me blah blah blah blah. You know, I

902
00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:48,560
Speaker 3: want to be giving people positive things, not putting more

903
00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:51,880
Speaker 3: negative negative energy out there. So I'm not for everyone

904
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:55,319
Speaker 3: and everyone is not for me. Is just saying to

905
00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:57,920
Speaker 3: myself that keep doing what you're doing, and the people

906
00:42:57,960 --> 00:42:59,759
Speaker 3: that love you will find you, and you'll attract the

907
00:42:59,760 --> 00:43:02,520
Speaker 3: peace people that are like you, and the people that

908
00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:05,919
Speaker 3: don't like they'll move along. No, they'll find someone else

909
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:07,680
Speaker 3: to hate on, or they'll find someone else that they,

910
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:09,080
Speaker 3: you know, connect.

911
00:43:08,719 --> 00:43:11,680
Speaker 2: With, and that's fine. It's just nice to know that. Yeah,

912
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:14,280
Speaker 2: I'm not going to be like everyone, so don't try

913
00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:14,480
Speaker 2: to be.

914
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:19,920
Speaker 1: And I think also you'll still get those little I've

915
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:23,440
Speaker 1: call them like universal challenges that come up where you're like, really,

916
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:25,520
Speaker 1: I've done all this work on myself and I've still

917
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:26,480
Speaker 1: got to deal with the dingo.

918
00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:26,919
Speaker 2: Yeah.

919
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:30,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, And because I've changed my perception on that, I'm like,

920
00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:33,080
Speaker 1: what a great gift to see how much I've grown. Well,

921
00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:36,600
Speaker 1: that's true since the last time that shitty thing happens. Yeah,

922
00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:38,560
Speaker 1: And when you change a perception, you can be like,

923
00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:42,320
Speaker 1: oh my god, I handled that totally different how twenty

924
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:43,520
Speaker 1: two year old Abbey would have.

925
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:45,479
Speaker 2: Handled that's right, Yeah, And.

926
00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:47,640
Speaker 1: Then you start to kind of look forward to the

927
00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:50,560
Speaker 1: I love it when people don't like it, and it's

928
00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:52,200
Speaker 1: a yeah, weird thing because I'm like.

929
00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:53,319
Speaker 2: Hey, that positive spin.

930
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:58,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, but when you're around people that like you, it's

931
00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:01,800
Speaker 1: like a yes, world, yeah do this, Yeah, and that's amazing.

932
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:07,240
Speaker 1: We need that, I hope podcast. But when I find

933
00:44:07,520 --> 00:44:09,279
Speaker 1: and it's a I read this quote, but like, when

934
00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:11,240
Speaker 1: I find it doesn't like me or comes up against

935
00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:13,280
Speaker 1: me or something, I'm like, what can I learn about

936
00:44:13,280 --> 00:44:19,720
Speaker 1: myself in this moment, even if it's just to handle criticism. Well,

937
00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:23,000
Speaker 1: but I read a quote and it was like the

938
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:25,279
Speaker 1: most successful people in the world one they love fact

939
00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:28,080
Speaker 1: they look forward to failing. But the other one was

940
00:44:28,239 --> 00:44:31,600
Speaker 1: they really enjoy conflict because it allows them to find

941
00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:35,080
Speaker 1: holes in their psyche. So you can find a blind

942
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:38,560
Speaker 1: spot of like, oh, why is that thing coming up

943
00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:43,359
Speaker 1: for me? Where I what can I like learn from?

944
00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:45,719
Speaker 1: I mean, it's a very deep psychological way of looking

945
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:49,080
Speaker 1: at things. But now I'm like, and as a result

946
00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:51,359
Speaker 1: of spending a lot of time only, I'm so much

947
00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:53,480
Speaker 1: quicker on having my own back.

948
00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:53,879
Speaker 2: Yeah.

949
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:57,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you feel I know, you're like you know

950
00:44:57,600 --> 00:44:59,759
Speaker 1: when you see someone and you're like, oh, ten minutes

951
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:03,600
Speaker 1: are like should I feel bad and like emotional vampire.

952
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:06,960
Speaker 1: You're done with real manipulation. Yeah, and you're like, I

953
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:09,040
Speaker 1: know everything that came out of their mouth was kind

954
00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:11,799
Speaker 1: of nice, yea, but really it was totally mean. Like

955
00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:14,600
Speaker 1: when you read between lines, but when you kind of

956
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:18,360
Speaker 1: like psychologically kind of explore yourself, you can catch that

957
00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:22,400
Speaker 1: in there in the No. I don't know if I'm

958
00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:24,880
Speaker 1: making any sense right now, but I'm really passionate about

959
00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:27,600
Speaker 1: it's like having your own back a bit more. And

960
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:30,200
Speaker 1: that's why, Like, I really loved how you said I'm

961
00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:32,120
Speaker 1: not for everyone and everyone's not for me, and like

962
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:36,160
Speaker 1: it's being so comfortable in yourself. Miller did it when

963
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:38,160
Speaker 1: the girl said you're fat, and Milla was like, oh.

964
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:39,520
Speaker 2: You know, I think I'm beautiful as a way, I.

965
00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:41,400
Speaker 1: Am so having that.

966
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:44,839
Speaker 4: So see how there was no fund she just did it.

967
00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:47,279
Speaker 1: It's training ourselves to be like because people are going

968
00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:50,319
Speaker 1: to talk about us. Humans do that to anyone in

969
00:45:50,320 --> 00:45:53,479
Speaker 1: a workplace basically, And it's about being able to stand

970
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:57,600
Speaker 1: in your own that itself and being like, yeah, like

971
00:45:57,680 --> 00:46:00,000
Speaker 1: I ran into someone before I came here and they

972
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:01,919
Speaker 1: said what are you doing? At the moment, I knew

973
00:46:01,920 --> 00:46:05,520
Speaker 1: they didn't like me that much. And I said, Oh,

974
00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:08,880
Speaker 1: I'm a bout to go on podcast batch podcast Abby

975
00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:11,680
Speaker 1: And they said, oh, is that all you do now? Podcasting?

976
00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:14,440
Speaker 1: And I just looked and I had that moment like

977
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:16,120
Speaker 1: mil and I said, yeah, that's one of the things

978
00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:17,880
Speaker 1: I do and I absolutely love it.

979
00:46:17,960 --> 00:46:22,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, isn't that good? That's so good? It's like, well, yeah,

980
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:25,720
Speaker 2: it's like with teaching the kids.

981
00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:29,520
Speaker 3: It's like if you can perspective, I guess, like or

982
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:32,320
Speaker 3: perception and perspective, like, you know, if you can understand

983
00:46:32,320 --> 00:46:37,120
Speaker 3: my little Timmy has pushed over Johnny, it's not because

984
00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:40,040
Speaker 3: he wants to hurt him. It's because he has like

985
00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:45,160
Speaker 3: been treated poorly previously. So if you can like receive

986
00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 3: a comment that's not that nice like I did yesterday,

987
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:50,920
Speaker 3: like I put a post up or something that might

988
00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:53,719
Speaker 3: have been hallow fresh and oh, what's it like not

989
00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:56,280
Speaker 3: having a job, And I thought, oh, that's really annoying.

990
00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:57,000
Speaker 2: Yeah.

991
00:46:57,040 --> 00:46:58,920
Speaker 3: I was like, you know what, like, you've got a

992
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:01,200
Speaker 3: lot of work to do on yourself, mister yeah, And

993
00:47:01,239 --> 00:47:03,319
Speaker 3: he's bio said be the best you can be, And

994
00:47:03,360 --> 00:47:04,879
Speaker 3: I thought, you had a lot of work to do

995
00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:06,520
Speaker 3: before you can be the best that you can be.

996
00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:10,960
Speaker 3: But that didn't affect me because my thinking was like, oh,

997
00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:13,000
Speaker 3: you know, your poor thing.

998
00:47:13,040 --> 00:47:15,400
Speaker 1: But how good you've done the work. So twenty two and.

999
00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:19,880
Speaker 3: He would have been like, oh my god, like my man, ego,

1000
00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:23,520
Speaker 3: like I want to yeah, ego you Yeah, it's so cool.

1001
00:47:23,719 --> 00:47:27,439
Speaker 1: It is cool to find that within and I think

1002
00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:29,879
Speaker 1: that comes and you hit on it before, like from

1003
00:47:29,880 --> 00:47:32,879
Speaker 1: that level of consciousness where you're like you can read energy,

1004
00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:35,359
Speaker 1: I can feel energy. Yeah, and you can feel if

1005
00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:39,120
Speaker 1: you're dealing with a dingo on that's my wad. Yeah,

1006
00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:41,480
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm going to take it and like even

1007
00:47:41,480 --> 00:47:43,400
Speaker 1: Abby that we both go to events as part of

1008
00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:45,799
Speaker 1: our job and you'll feel the real people in the.

1009
00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:51,200
Speaker 3: Room, saying I clung like a baby, bloody kalaa, like

1010
00:47:51,239 --> 00:47:52,080
Speaker 3: you leave my circle.

1011
00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:54,440
Speaker 1: I think we even did have bra fitting together.

1012
00:47:54,920 --> 00:47:58,600
Speaker 2: We fitting, we went again and today we're best friends.

1013
00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:05,520
Speaker 1: It's but it's so I think I think it happens

1014
00:48:05,560 --> 00:48:07,080
Speaker 1: to everyone. Doesn't matter if you go into an event,

1015
00:48:07,080 --> 00:48:09,040
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter if you've got a birthday party, just

1016
00:48:09,239 --> 00:48:11,600
Speaker 1: if it's a work thing, there are going to be

1017
00:48:11,680 --> 00:48:13,480
Speaker 1: dingoes in the room. They're going to be real people.

1018
00:48:13,640 --> 00:48:17,600
Speaker 1: Trust your intuition with reading energy because like straight away,

1019
00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:19,640
Speaker 1: like and we had a like we had.

1020
00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:23,919
Speaker 2: A plan for the day. We had a really great

1021
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:26,840
Speaker 2: day actually. But yeah, it's true. The energy in the

1022
00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:29,239
Speaker 2: room does not lie. Is what's that saying? Where like

1023
00:48:29,960 --> 00:48:34,920
Speaker 2: you know, energy speaks louder than like words. I guess

1024
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:38,359
Speaker 2: like you can read a person well and truly before

1025
00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:41,080
Speaker 2: they've even opened their mouth. I think that's amazing.

1026
00:48:41,320 --> 00:48:44,640
Speaker 1: It's so I study acting slot at the moment, and

1027
00:48:44,680 --> 00:48:47,000
Speaker 1: you'll often do exercises where you're not allowed to use

1028
00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:49,680
Speaker 1: your voice and now you have to affect other people

1029
00:48:49,719 --> 00:48:51,680
Speaker 1: in the room. It's amazing how much you can do

1030
00:48:51,719 --> 00:48:56,600
Speaker 1: with the face, the way you hold yourself. Humans are

1031
00:48:57,480 --> 00:48:59,640
Speaker 1: human behavior. I could talk to you all day about behavior.

1032
00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:00,200
Speaker 1: I love it.

1033
00:49:00,320 --> 00:49:01,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know we're.

1034
00:49:01,360 --> 00:49:02,680
Speaker 1: Going to run out of times. I'm going to keep

1035
00:49:02,719 --> 00:49:06,399
Speaker 1: flying through. You also wrote to me, and I love this.

1036
00:49:06,719 --> 00:49:09,879
Speaker 1: When things are bad, they won't always stay that way.

1037
00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:12,359
Speaker 1: When things are good, they won't all always stay that

1038
00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:14,400
Speaker 1: week way either. And I had a friend that always

1039
00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:17,719
Speaker 1: said to me, nothing stays the same for too long.

1040
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:20,640
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, And is that kind of like a mantra

1041
00:49:20,719 --> 00:49:22,560
Speaker 1: for like just be present?

1042
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:26,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, hugely so like, you know, we get so

1043
00:49:28,040 --> 00:49:30,920
Speaker 3: and I get really impacted by negative people. I'm sure

1044
00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:34,000
Speaker 3: everybody does, but like sometimes I just want to shake

1045
00:49:34,080 --> 00:49:37,160
Speaker 3: them and I just want to say or even when

1046
00:49:37,200 --> 00:49:39,200
Speaker 3: people say to me, like how come you're smiling, like

1047
00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:42,040
Speaker 3: I might not be any people say that to you, Yeah,

1048
00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:44,640
Speaker 3: like how come you're smiling And I've just been three

1049
00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:47,600
Speaker 3: X y Z and I'm not, And I'm like, because

1050
00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:49,400
Speaker 3: this is and that's what I mean by it is

1051
00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:52,319
Speaker 3: like your world is crumbling and falling apart now for

1052
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:55,920
Speaker 3: some of us, but it might not be like it

1053
00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:57,920
Speaker 3: won't be like that forever. You know, you might be

1054
00:49:58,680 --> 00:50:00,719
Speaker 3: on a cruise or in bar on a holiday and

1055
00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:02,880
Speaker 3: you're like, oh, I love my life and I just

1056
00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:06,680
Speaker 3: want people to remember that it won't always be great either,

1057
00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:09,840
Speaker 3: So like when it is great, that's when we should

1058
00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:12,280
Speaker 3: be doing lots of things, like I think reading books

1059
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:16,160
Speaker 3: and you know, equipping our belts with tools to use

1060
00:50:16,239 --> 00:50:19,000
Speaker 3: for when life isn't because it will be shit at times.

1061
00:50:19,400 --> 00:50:22,919
Speaker 1: And this is where I get really passionate about people like, oh,

1062
00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:27,120
Speaker 1: you've got a therapist and I see like judgment. I

1063
00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:31,239
Speaker 1: remember I was dating a guy and he and I watched.

1064
00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:32,640
Speaker 2: The face just be like he's like, oh god, I've

1065
00:50:32,640 --> 00:50:33,520
Speaker 2: got a nutbag here.

1066
00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:38,840
Speaker 1: Correct, that's exactly what happened. And and then he proceeded

1067
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:41,120
Speaker 1: to say some really like dark things, and I was like,

1068
00:50:41,200 --> 00:50:43,319
Speaker 1: I'll never be seeing you ever again. Like I could

1069
00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:48,319
Speaker 1: just feel they read fast forward to my boyfriend now

1070
00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:49,880
Speaker 1: second date. I was like, I'm getting this one out

1071
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:52,120
Speaker 1: of the way. I'm read of the and I was like,

1072
00:50:52,200 --> 00:50:53,640
Speaker 1: I think you should know I have a therapist, and

1073
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:55,120
Speaker 1: he said I find that so attractive.

1074
00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:56,720
Speaker 2: I want to so cool.

1075
00:50:56,840 --> 00:51:01,520
Speaker 1: But with the back to you your quote, like I

1076
00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:04,719
Speaker 1: go to a therapist every week. It's my non negotiable

1077
00:51:05,280 --> 00:51:09,080
Speaker 1: even when things are like great, great, And I don't

1078
00:51:09,080 --> 00:51:11,680
Speaker 1: go to a therapist because I've got problems. My therapists

1079
00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:13,560
Speaker 1: managed with me is let's be bulletproof.

1080
00:51:13,760 --> 00:51:14,680
Speaker 2: Yeah that's cool.

1081
00:51:14,760 --> 00:51:17,520
Speaker 1: So I've got the tools to be able to handle today.

1082
00:51:17,560 --> 00:51:20,319
Speaker 1: When someone's manipulated and spoke down to me, I was

1083
00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:22,160
Speaker 1: able to go, no, thank you.

1084
00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:25,040
Speaker 2: I'm not going to cool. Thanks for the projection. You

1085
00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:25,680
Speaker 2: can have it back.

1086
00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:28,520
Speaker 1: Correct, And that's what he actually says. He says that

1087
00:51:28,640 --> 00:51:30,919
Speaker 1: you use because he trains fiders as well. He said

1088
00:51:30,960 --> 00:51:33,520
Speaker 1: he use their negative energy and you literally just setting

1089
00:51:33,560 --> 00:51:34,120
Speaker 1: it straight back.

1090
00:51:34,320 --> 00:51:34,520
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1091
00:51:34,600 --> 00:51:36,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's what you do by standing in power.

1092
00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:40,439
Speaker 1: And that's where I love that you've said, like use

1093
00:51:40,560 --> 00:51:43,440
Speaker 1: that time, use the time when you feel great, read

1094
00:51:43,520 --> 00:51:46,200
Speaker 1: to learn. And also, if therapy is not your jam,

1095
00:51:46,560 --> 00:51:48,600
Speaker 1: reiki christ you've got a psyche.

1096
00:51:48,760 --> 00:51:53,439
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, like yeah, it's super important, and like that's

1097
00:51:53,480 --> 00:51:57,759
Speaker 3: probably why I started. What I started is because one,

1098
00:51:57,880 --> 00:52:00,080
Speaker 3: some people don't have a person to go to, so

1099
00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:01,440
Speaker 3: I wanted to be that person.

1100
00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:04,680
Speaker 2: But two, we wait till the you know, we wait till.

1101
00:52:04,560 --> 00:52:07,440
Speaker 3: Something really bad happens before we act, and sometimes we

1102
00:52:07,480 --> 00:52:10,759
Speaker 3: don't even act. Then we wait for something really really

1103
00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:13,200
Speaker 3: bad to happen where we get I don't know, an

1104
00:52:13,200 --> 00:52:16,080
Speaker 3: intervention or you know, we're already in a lot of trouble.

1105
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:20,760
Speaker 3: So it's like, let's promote seeing a therapist and things,

1106
00:52:20,800 --> 00:52:23,319
Speaker 3: not just for the crazies, like you know, let's do

1107
00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:27,680
Speaker 3: it for because you're taking you know, the leap to

1108
00:52:27,760 --> 00:52:30,560
Speaker 3: get help. I think it's really inspiring. I think that

1109
00:52:30,640 --> 00:52:34,879
Speaker 3: like if you are actively seeing someone no matter what

1110
00:52:35,040 --> 00:52:38,799
Speaker 3: state you're in, like high five, Like that's amazing, and

1111
00:52:38,920 --> 00:52:42,439
Speaker 3: tell tell your bloody nan and your grandpa and watch

1112
00:52:42,480 --> 00:52:46,320
Speaker 3: them just go, oh, yes, uncomfortable, I'm seeing a therapist,

1113
00:52:46,480 --> 00:52:49,719
Speaker 3: Like you know, they're just so uncomfortable, but like as the.

1114
00:52:49,760 --> 00:52:50,359
Speaker 2: Ship we need.

1115
00:52:51,760 --> 00:52:53,720
Speaker 1: This goes back to what you sa at the very start,

1116
00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:56,640
Speaker 1: where you were like you're bridging the generation gap like

1117
00:52:57,160 --> 00:53:01,200
Speaker 1: my dad bless his commons as I was like, I like,

1118
00:53:01,360 --> 00:53:02,920
Speaker 1: if we ever have an argue, which kind of like

1119
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:06,399
Speaker 1: happens every three or four months, yeah, yeah, and I'll

1120
00:53:06,440 --> 00:53:08,759
Speaker 1: be like my therapist is worked me through. This is like, well,

1121
00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:11,080
Speaker 1: it's good you've got a therapist because you're very sensitive.

1122
00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:15,399
Speaker 2: And I'm like, you need and I love him.

1123
00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:17,680
Speaker 1: I love him to the absolutely bits, but it's that

1124
00:53:18,800 --> 00:53:20,600
Speaker 1: it is that kind of like And one thing I

1125
00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:23,480
Speaker 1: know you're so passionate about is self care. Self care

1126
00:53:23,520 --> 00:53:27,719
Speaker 1: can look different for other people, like I think you

1127
00:53:27,719 --> 00:53:29,839
Speaker 1: know for you even like are you like bath time?

1128
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:31,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, bath time that's my thing.

1129
00:53:31,680 --> 00:53:34,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, well you're water emotion, that's letting go.

1130
00:53:34,640 --> 00:53:35,640
Speaker 2: It's clensy.

1131
00:53:36,120 --> 00:53:39,960
Speaker 3: And even the kids and back to the co painting

1132
00:53:39,960 --> 00:53:43,240
Speaker 3: side of things, like on the other side of the fence,

1133
00:53:43,280 --> 00:53:45,239
Speaker 3: if the kids ever come home or they leave here

1134
00:53:45,239 --> 00:53:47,480
Speaker 3: in a rut, it's like they get shower time to

1135
00:53:48,160 --> 00:53:50,480
Speaker 3: you know, wash all that bad energy off them and

1136
00:53:50,760 --> 00:53:53,719
Speaker 3: like that is awesome. I love that they go over

1137
00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:56,799
Speaker 3: there and it's like that too, you know, like that's cool.

1138
00:53:56,800 --> 00:53:58,320
Speaker 1: We both carried that across.

1139
00:53:58,400 --> 00:53:59,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's cool.

1140
00:53:59,200 --> 00:54:00,680
Speaker 3: So like the kids, you know, it can be in

1141
00:54:00,719 --> 00:54:02,719
Speaker 3: whatever state. But when we get in that shower and

1142
00:54:02,719 --> 00:54:05,440
Speaker 3: we wash it away, like we get out and we're different,

1143
00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:07,960
Speaker 3: like you know, leave all your crap, your baggage in

1144
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:08,480
Speaker 3: the shower.

1145
00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:11,239
Speaker 1: I had a roommate that did that. She was like

1146
00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:13,279
Speaker 1: having a shower, how long it's going to be?

1147
00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:15,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, Oh that's me too, Lay on the floor, do

1148
00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:15,920
Speaker 2: whatever you go.

1149
00:54:16,320 --> 00:54:18,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, she that was her kind of wh She was

1150
00:54:18,120 --> 00:54:23,000
Speaker 1: a Kancareans their water signs. And I think you've got

1151
00:54:23,040 --> 00:54:25,360
Speaker 1: to know what your form of self care is. Like

1152
00:54:25,600 --> 00:54:27,840
Speaker 1: I love, I ruminate, I obsays, over thought. It's like

1153
00:54:27,880 --> 00:54:30,680
Speaker 1: an anxiety. So for me, a therapist and being able

1154
00:54:30,719 --> 00:54:33,200
Speaker 1: to talk it out. But then sometimes we like it's

1155
00:54:33,239 --> 00:54:34,239
Speaker 1: a hypnotherapy day.

1156
00:54:34,400 --> 00:54:37,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, like know what works? Yeah?

1157
00:54:37,120 --> 00:54:40,759
Speaker 1: I mean is it reiki healing? Is its healing you?

1158
00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:42,600
Speaker 1: When you meet was it clear the psychic?

1159
00:54:42,640 --> 00:54:43,959
Speaker 2: What was your name? Claire Hill? Yeah?

1160
00:54:44,040 --> 00:54:46,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you were like this is it was just

1161
00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:47,080
Speaker 1: me it.

1162
00:54:47,080 --> 00:54:49,160
Speaker 3: Was just because I think I had no one had

1163
00:54:49,239 --> 00:54:52,040
Speaker 3: understood me, so to go to someone who was like,

1164
00:54:52,520 --> 00:54:55,359
Speaker 3: you don't even really need to speak because I am

1165
00:54:55,680 --> 00:54:58,759
Speaker 3: so I'm like I get you.

1166
00:54:58,960 --> 00:55:00,239
Speaker 2: And she held me that.

1167
00:55:00,239 --> 00:55:04,040
Speaker 3: Space like yeah, and it was a really crap story

1168
00:55:04,040 --> 00:55:06,400
Speaker 3: that I was sharing and she wasn't even fazed by it.

1169
00:55:06,400 --> 00:55:09,400
Speaker 3: It was like you just need someone to listen to you, basically,

1170
00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:13,239
Speaker 3: like and also I was already really quite positive within it.

1171
00:55:13,320 --> 00:55:15,680
Speaker 2: And I said to her from the start, I will get.

1172
00:55:15,480 --> 00:55:18,600
Speaker 3: There when I'm ready, but like right now, I don't

1173
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:20,360
Speaker 3: want to be I want to be angry and I

1174
00:55:20,360 --> 00:55:21,880
Speaker 3: want to be upset, and I want to do this

1175
00:55:22,040 --> 00:55:25,360
Speaker 3: my way for a little bit. But I know what

1176
00:55:25,360 --> 00:55:26,800
Speaker 3: I've got to do as well, and I'll do that

1177
00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:28,040
Speaker 3: when I'm ready, but not yet.

1178
00:55:28,520 --> 00:55:31,879
Speaker 1: And also I know you'll be able to probably agree

1179
00:55:31,920 --> 00:55:34,680
Speaker 1: with me on this one. Often the negative feelings like

1180
00:55:34,800 --> 00:55:38,279
Speaker 1: the sadness, the hurd yeah, the depression, and it's a

1181
00:55:38,400 --> 00:55:42,120
Speaker 1: nicer feeling than the fight to feel happy. Yeah, yeah,

1182
00:55:42,160 --> 00:55:45,000
Speaker 1: there's a safety and comfortable. It's like what do you think,

1183
00:55:46,520 --> 00:55:48,920
Speaker 1: Like why are the Sam Smith song? So yeah, I

1184
00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:52,279
Speaker 1: know we relate to that kind of like melancholy and

1185
00:55:52,320 --> 00:55:54,839
Speaker 1: it's super My boyfriend's music producer, and we talk about

1186
00:55:54,840 --> 00:55:55,319
Speaker 1: it all the time.

1187
00:55:55,360 --> 00:55:56,120
Speaker 2: That's so true.

1188
00:55:56,160 --> 00:56:00,520
Speaker 3: We love pain music and I'm super clear audio too.

1189
00:56:00,600 --> 00:56:03,200
Speaker 3: So like I put my headphones in every night, or

1190
00:56:03,239 --> 00:56:04,719
Speaker 3: if I wake up at six am, I'll pot the

1191
00:56:04,719 --> 00:56:06,359
Speaker 3: headphones in because I know I've got like an hour

1192
00:56:06,400 --> 00:56:09,320
Speaker 3: and a half while the kids wake up. Because those

1193
00:56:09,400 --> 00:56:12,200
Speaker 3: songs explain ship that I can't get out.

1194
00:56:12,480 --> 00:56:13,799
Speaker 2: But I'll feel better after that.

1195
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:16,680
Speaker 1: Song, so they say not. I know, I keep using

1196
00:56:16,719 --> 00:56:18,799
Speaker 1: things I learn in acting school, but the quickest way

1197
00:56:18,840 --> 00:56:22,160
Speaker 1: to change your mood for a character or scene is music. Yeah,

1198
00:56:22,360 --> 00:56:24,759
Speaker 1: put headphones on. And if you've got to be up

1199
00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:26,719
Speaker 1: and happy and you're exhausted in you and like where

1200
00:56:26,719 --> 00:56:28,440
Speaker 1: am I going to find this energy music?

1201
00:56:28,560 --> 00:56:30,760
Speaker 2: Yeah? Well it's like your physical impact your mental.

1202
00:56:30,840 --> 00:56:33,600
Speaker 3: So it's like totally moving and going nuts, like yeah,

1203
00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:37,080
Speaker 3: you're really like you know, those endorphins are just totally

1204
00:56:37,480 --> 00:56:38,520
Speaker 3: pausing and.

1205
00:56:38,840 --> 00:56:40,560
Speaker 1: Flip it to like, oh god, I've got a really

1206
00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:45,000
Speaker 1: heavy scene. Yeah, let's listen to some like in and

1207
00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:48,200
Speaker 1: be like still in the National and like mana del

1208
00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:53,360
Speaker 1: rat it's so it's so interesting. Yeah, do you know

1209
00:56:53,400 --> 00:56:54,719
Speaker 1: that we've already like hit time.

1210
00:56:54,840 --> 00:56:57,319
Speaker 2: Do you know that? We just have way too many

1211
00:56:57,320 --> 00:56:58,160
Speaker 2: good chats together?

1212
00:56:58,320 --> 00:56:59,880
Speaker 1: Can I ask one more thing? This is just a

1213
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:03,680
Speaker 1: selfish questions. You just touched on Claire auditory? Is that

1214
00:57:03,719 --> 00:57:04,160
Speaker 1: how you call it?

1215
00:57:04,320 --> 00:57:04,920
Speaker 2: Clare audience?

1216
00:57:05,080 --> 00:57:08,759
Speaker 1: Clair Audien? So is that your Do you get messages

1217
00:57:08,800 --> 00:57:10,320
Speaker 1: from zam from hearing things?

1218
00:57:11,320 --> 00:57:13,600
Speaker 2: Do you know what this is? Probably that's something I'm

1219
00:57:13,719 --> 00:57:14,640
Speaker 2: really wanting to.

1220
00:57:17,160 --> 00:57:21,480
Speaker 3: Inquire and explore because I do like I'll go to

1221
00:57:21,520 --> 00:57:24,120
Speaker 3: sleep and I can like have dreams or things like that,

1222
00:57:24,160 --> 00:57:25,920
Speaker 3: but I don't write things down like I want to

1223
00:57:25,920 --> 00:57:28,360
Speaker 3: get better at that, because that's I think at.

1224
00:57:28,240 --> 00:57:30,520
Speaker 2: The moment, my my next move.

1225
00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:33,440
Speaker 3: Is definitely going to be focusing on my career what

1226
00:57:33,600 --> 00:57:36,640
Speaker 3: I'm passionate about and really like making it come alive

1227
00:57:36,760 --> 00:57:39,040
Speaker 3: rather than being the you know, the person that sits

1228
00:57:39,040 --> 00:57:39,680
Speaker 3: back and wat does.

1229
00:57:39,600 --> 00:57:40,400
Speaker 2: Everyone else do it?

1230
00:57:40,440 --> 00:57:41,760
Speaker 1: I'm very much ready.

1231
00:57:41,960 --> 00:57:42,800
Speaker 2: I'm just so ready.

1232
00:57:42,840 --> 00:57:46,960
Speaker 3: So yeah, like music really just I don't know, I do.

1233
00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:49,080
Speaker 2: I feel a lot in it.

1234
00:57:49,360 --> 00:57:52,520
Speaker 3: I just need to really inquire within that now and

1235
00:57:52,560 --> 00:57:56,520
Speaker 3: my thoughts and my feelings. I'm very energy like, but

1236
00:57:56,720 --> 00:57:58,800
Speaker 3: I need to write things down because I do get

1237
00:57:59,040 --> 00:58:00,720
Speaker 3: a lot of things come to me.

1238
00:58:02,520 --> 00:58:03,760
Speaker 2: And then they might happen.

1239
00:58:03,920 --> 00:58:05,240
Speaker 3: And then I'm like, oh, I thought that, but I

1240
00:58:05,280 --> 00:58:07,960
Speaker 3: won't say anything because I'll sound like a dick. But actually,

1241
00:58:07,960 --> 00:58:09,960
Speaker 3: Claire and I didn't exercise when we were away doing

1242
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:12,480
Speaker 3: a workshop. And I can't remember what it is, but

1243
00:58:12,480 --> 00:58:14,200
Speaker 3: where you read, I can't remember what it's called just

1244
00:58:14,280 --> 00:58:17,240
Speaker 3: right now, but you read a person like just you

1245
00:58:17,360 --> 00:58:20,280
Speaker 3: read them. And she held up pictures of her family

1246
00:58:20,280 --> 00:58:22,000
Speaker 3: members and I've never met these people, didn't know who

1247
00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:23,960
Speaker 3: they were, and just she goes, I don't want you

1248
00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:24,400
Speaker 3: to think.

1249
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:26,520
Speaker 2: I just want you to say what comes to your mind.

1250
00:58:26,560 --> 00:58:27,280
Speaker 2: And I was like, okay.

1251
00:58:27,440 --> 00:58:31,520
Speaker 3: So she held up a picture and Sarah came to

1252
00:58:31,560 --> 00:58:34,760
Speaker 3: my mind, and the number fifty three or whatever came

1253
00:58:34,760 --> 00:58:37,760
Speaker 3: to my mind, and animals came to my mind, and

1254
00:58:37,880 --> 00:58:39,840
Speaker 3: all these random little things come to my mind. And

1255
00:58:39,880 --> 00:58:42,680
Speaker 3: she wrote it down. She's like, yep, just keep saying it,

1256
00:58:42,760 --> 00:58:44,280
Speaker 3: keep saying it. And then I'm like, that's all I got,

1257
00:58:44,880 --> 00:58:48,360
Speaker 3: and she goes, Okay, So Sarah came to mind because

1258
00:58:48,680 --> 00:58:50,200
Speaker 3: that was my best friend who died of a brain

1259
00:58:50,240 --> 00:58:52,200
Speaker 3: tumor when I was sixteen. She goes, because she died

1260
00:58:52,200 --> 00:58:54,840
Speaker 3: of a brain tumor. So that was my sign for

1261
00:58:55,560 --> 00:58:59,400
Speaker 3: brain tumor animals. It was like, oh, there was just

1262
00:58:59,520 --> 00:59:01,760
Speaker 3: a hot like the number that was her age, like

1263
00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:03,960
Speaker 3: there was a lot of things that Claire's like, see,

1264
00:59:04,000 --> 00:59:07,280
Speaker 3: like you just you've got so much noise in there.

1265
00:59:07,720 --> 00:59:09,400
Speaker 3: You've just got to like drown it out and listen

1266
00:59:09,440 --> 00:59:12,520
Speaker 3: to what comes intuitively, whereas I will be like, oh,

1267
00:59:12,600 --> 00:59:14,840
Speaker 3: doubt myself, like oh god, why don't I think that

1268
00:59:14,840 --> 00:59:17,240
Speaker 3: that's weird? Like you know, and then I'm onto the

1269
00:59:17,240 --> 00:59:19,280
Speaker 3: next thing rather than listening like what is that trying

1270
00:59:19,280 --> 00:59:22,720
Speaker 3: to tell me? I really would like to I would

1271
00:59:22,760 --> 00:59:25,000
Speaker 3: like to go a bit more into that, so that

1272
00:59:25,040 --> 00:59:26,240
Speaker 3: will be next for me, I think.

1273
00:59:26,520 --> 00:59:28,640
Speaker 1: And you know, with your dreams, you've got a seven

1274
00:59:28,680 --> 00:59:30,160
Speaker 1: minute window when you wake up.

1275
00:59:30,440 --> 00:59:31,480
Speaker 2: Oh okay, you got.

1276
00:59:31,320 --> 00:59:34,280
Speaker 1: Seven minutes that you recall because we dream multiple multiple times,

1277
00:59:34,680 --> 00:59:37,800
Speaker 1: even though you kind of remember the last couple. Yeah,

1278
00:59:37,840 --> 00:59:40,040
Speaker 1: and you've yet seven minutes to write. And some people

1279
00:59:40,080 --> 00:59:42,040
Speaker 1: dream in black and white, some people dream in color.

1280
00:59:42,520 --> 00:59:46,360
Speaker 1: It's more the brain chemistry side of it. But you

1281
00:59:46,400 --> 00:59:48,680
Speaker 1: should definitely start doing that because you'll be like you

1282
00:59:48,720 --> 00:59:49,720
Speaker 1: can look over and be.

1283
00:59:49,720 --> 00:59:51,800
Speaker 2: Like, holy, yeah, exactly right.

1284
00:59:51,880 --> 00:59:54,440
Speaker 1: I dreamt of Lolas, she texts it, you know, like

1285
00:59:54,640 --> 00:59:58,520
Speaker 1: really weird stuff and then dates and stuff is so.

1286
00:59:59,560 --> 01:00:01,760
Speaker 3: Claire and we were sitting on a plane and we

1287
01:00:01,840 --> 01:00:03,920
Speaker 3: had and there's a lot of energy in there a plane,

1288
01:00:03,960 --> 01:00:07,320
Speaker 3: but we were sitting next to this stranger and anyway,

1289
01:00:07,320 --> 01:00:09,000
Speaker 3: we end up having a chat and we got talking

1290
01:00:09,080 --> 01:00:12,240
Speaker 3: whatever like this, and I think it was because I

1291
01:00:12,280 --> 01:00:15,880
Speaker 3: had Claire with me, who was saying, like, start being

1292
01:00:15,920 --> 01:00:18,000
Speaker 3: conscious of it, practice it a bit like, you know whatever,

1293
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:18,720
Speaker 3: and I was like, oh yeah.

1294
01:00:18,920 --> 01:00:19,680
Speaker 2: Anyway, we got on.

1295
01:00:19,600 --> 01:00:22,600
Speaker 3: The plane and I had said this whole entire sentence

1296
01:00:22,600 --> 01:00:24,840
Speaker 3: in my head and then this woman then went and

1297
01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:26,800
Speaker 3: said what I just thought, and I was like to Claire.

1298
01:00:26,800 --> 01:00:28,240
Speaker 2: I looked at Claire, I was like, this is weird.

1299
01:00:28,280 --> 01:00:30,080
Speaker 3: And I think it's because you're with me that I'm

1300
01:00:30,080 --> 01:00:32,920
Speaker 3: paying attention to it. But yeah, there's something there that

1301
01:00:32,960 --> 01:00:36,040
Speaker 3: I would really love to unlock there. But I suppose,

1302
01:00:37,360 --> 01:00:40,200
Speaker 3: like everything, like all the events that have happened in

1303
01:00:40,200 --> 01:00:42,160
Speaker 3: my life, I think they've all led me to this point.

1304
01:00:42,200 --> 01:00:45,080
Speaker 2: So now I'm ready. But yeah, I'm in that real

1305
01:00:45,200 --> 01:00:47,760
Speaker 2: weird phase at the moment. I'm like, I'm weird, right.

1306
01:00:47,680 --> 01:00:49,760
Speaker 1: Weird is good. Normal gets you know where have you

1307
01:00:49,800 --> 01:00:52,720
Speaker 1: heard that that's true? You want to be weird. I

1308
01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:54,640
Speaker 1: love it. I can't wait to hear more. As you're

1309
01:00:54,640 --> 01:00:55,880
Speaker 1: talk here, I'm like, I've got to put it a

1310
01:00:55,960 --> 01:00:57,960
Speaker 1: nut through that person, and that person is doing that.

1311
01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:02,680
Speaker 1: And I think the beauty of your job is like,

1312
01:01:02,760 --> 01:01:04,880
Speaker 1: if you go to an event, start using it because

1313
01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:07,960
Speaker 1: you're going to get it on steroids that like energies

1314
01:01:07,960 --> 01:01:10,520
Speaker 1: because everyone projects at those kind of places. Yes, they're

1315
01:01:10,560 --> 01:01:14,920
Speaker 1: so freaking scary, and I think use it to your advantage.

1316
01:01:14,960 --> 01:01:16,600
Speaker 1: And but like I can I know, like a window room,

1317
01:01:16,640 --> 01:01:19,439
Speaker 1: and I can be like that person's real, that person's real,

1318
01:01:19,520 --> 01:01:22,160
Speaker 1: that's person's real. The other half are lost and then

1319
01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:23,640
Speaker 1: the other half analysis like.

1320
01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:24,920
Speaker 3: Well, I'm trying to do a thing at the minute.

1321
01:01:24,920 --> 01:01:26,680
Speaker 3: I know where overtime, but I'm trying not to. So

1322
01:01:26,680 --> 01:01:28,240
Speaker 3: I've gone off drinking for the moment.

1323
01:01:28,640 --> 01:01:30,720
Speaker 1: When I gave you a bottle of wine, that's fine.

1324
01:01:30,840 --> 01:01:33,400
Speaker 2: I'm I'll go back on it one day. But yeah,

1325
01:01:33,400 --> 01:01:34,760
Speaker 2: you're like, do you drink? I was like, do I

1326
01:01:34,760 --> 01:01:35,840
Speaker 2: tell her? Know it?

1327
01:01:36,720 --> 01:01:39,920
Speaker 3: But because when I walk into a room, I obviously

1328
01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:46,960
Speaker 3: feel everyone's energy, but I also I babble and it's

1329
01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:49,840
Speaker 3: almost like I will go everyone's my best friend, and

1330
01:01:49,880 --> 01:01:52,080
Speaker 3: I tell them everything, and I go into like these

1331
01:01:52,120 --> 01:01:54,120
Speaker 3: big like and I think they're like me, and I'm like,

1332
01:01:54,600 --> 01:01:56,400
Speaker 3: you know when blah blah blah. And then next minute

1333
01:01:56,400 --> 01:01:59,320
Speaker 3: I've told them everything and I'm like, well, I really

1334
01:01:59,360 --> 01:02:01,600
Speaker 3: hope that you who are just like me and not

1335
01:02:01,640 --> 01:02:05,680
Speaker 3: going to remember this tomorrow. But I open up way

1336
01:02:05,720 --> 01:02:08,000
Speaker 3: too much and I'm sick of feeling like I'm out

1337
01:02:08,000 --> 01:02:10,800
Speaker 3: of control. So I'm really at the moment, I'm I

1338
01:02:10,840 --> 01:02:13,080
Speaker 3: don't know again, I'm weird, and I'm going through this

1339
01:02:13,160 --> 01:02:15,920
Speaker 3: phase of like trying to really better myself and I

1340
01:02:15,960 --> 01:02:18,640
Speaker 3: want to be in control when I'm at places.

1341
01:02:18,280 --> 01:02:20,240
Speaker 2: And I want to. I don't know, I just want to.

1342
01:02:20,440 --> 01:02:23,400
Speaker 2: I'm just trying to really change things. Dude.

1343
01:02:23,440 --> 01:02:26,480
Speaker 1: Celebrate your weirdness. Yeah, yeah, the magic and that's probably

1344
01:02:26,520 --> 01:02:30,960
Speaker 1: where your career trajectory will just morph into something that

1345
01:02:31,160 --> 01:02:35,680
Speaker 1: is totally your calling within your heart. Yeah, So celebrate

1346
01:02:35,720 --> 01:02:39,480
Speaker 1: the weirdness one hundred million percent. And I think, and

1347
01:02:39,560 --> 01:02:41,160
Speaker 1: you said this last night when I was like I've

1348
01:02:41,160 --> 01:02:46,200
Speaker 1: been googling you and you're like far out, and I think,

1349
01:02:46,400 --> 01:02:49,640
Speaker 1: why not now, like, celebrate your own story.

1350
01:02:49,920 --> 01:02:53,080
Speaker 3: Well, this is point, you know, so refreshing, like do

1351
01:02:53,120 --> 01:02:55,720
Speaker 3: you know what from here on out, like, I'm not

1352
01:02:55,760 --> 01:02:58,520
Speaker 3: going to do anything for people who want the old

1353
01:02:58,640 --> 01:03:01,040
Speaker 3: version of Abby, like I think unless you are willing

1354
01:03:01,080 --> 01:03:04,200
Speaker 3: to accept me for just me, little old apps like

1355
01:03:04,760 --> 01:03:08,080
Speaker 3: you know, with three kids and you know, a co parents,

1356
01:03:08,120 --> 01:03:09,800
Speaker 3: blah blah blah, like that's it.

1357
01:03:09,880 --> 01:03:12,960
Speaker 2: I'm just not interested. And it's really upset me in

1358
01:03:12,960 --> 01:03:15,400
Speaker 2: the past to think, yeah, I've nailed that and then

1359
01:03:15,480 --> 01:03:17,760
Speaker 2: to go read it and think, oh, like you know,

1360
01:03:17,800 --> 01:03:19,840
Speaker 2: you clearly just wanted me for that or whatever. I'm

1361
01:03:19,920 --> 01:03:20,640
Speaker 2: so done with that.

1362
01:03:20,840 --> 01:03:24,200
Speaker 1: Like I think media is its own beast, and that's

1363
01:03:24,240 --> 01:03:26,480
Speaker 1: where podcasts are beautiful because you and I said this

1364
01:03:26,560 --> 01:03:29,400
Speaker 1: last night, this is a celebration of you, however you

1365
01:03:29,480 --> 01:03:31,480
Speaker 1: want that to look, and it feels like it has

1366
01:03:31,560 --> 01:03:34,840
Speaker 1: been that, which is but I think media is its

1367
01:03:34,880 --> 01:03:37,360
Speaker 1: own beast, and now I just look at media as like,

1368
01:03:37,480 --> 01:03:39,040
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm always going to put out the

1369
01:03:39,040 --> 01:03:42,320
Speaker 1: best that I can of what I do, and people

1370
01:03:42,320 --> 01:03:46,080
Speaker 1: can interpret that. Journalists can interpret that anyway they want to. Yeah,

1371
01:03:46,280 --> 01:03:48,120
Speaker 1: and I'm not Like it's a bit like going back

1372
01:03:48,160 --> 01:03:49,919
Speaker 1: to your quote, like I'm not for everyone, and everyone

1373
01:03:49,920 --> 01:03:51,520
Speaker 1: it's not for me, and that's okay.

1374
01:03:51,720 --> 01:03:55,400
Speaker 3: Well I think too, like that my purpose is greater

1375
01:03:55,480 --> 01:03:59,960
Speaker 3: than me and what I do, Like it feels like

1376
01:04:00,080 --> 01:04:03,200
Speaker 3: the impact and the energy that I feel when I

1377
01:04:03,240 --> 01:04:06,520
Speaker 3: put things out is huge. And I don't know, like

1378
01:04:07,840 --> 01:04:11,400
Speaker 3: those kind of people that want me for those wrong reasons.

1379
01:04:11,440 --> 01:04:14,320
Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't want to do your stuff because

1380
01:04:14,400 --> 01:04:16,520
Speaker 3: I want people to follow me or to like me.

1381
01:04:16,640 --> 01:04:19,320
Speaker 2: It's like, I'm happy to just to stay in my lane.

1382
01:04:19,440 --> 01:04:22,200
Speaker 3: If I don't grow any bigger than what I am, awesome,

1383
01:04:22,640 --> 01:04:25,800
Speaker 3: like if I shrink smaller, great like you know, if

1384
01:04:25,840 --> 01:04:29,080
Speaker 3: more people want to take more out of me, like

1385
01:04:29,160 --> 01:04:31,680
Speaker 3: that's amazing, like you know, as I'm not here for

1386
01:04:31,720 --> 01:04:34,080
Speaker 3: any benefit other than what I can do for other people.

1387
01:04:34,120 --> 01:04:38,240
Speaker 3: So the climbing and the social side of things, the

1388
01:04:38,280 --> 01:04:41,280
Speaker 3: status of what we do and how it can impact

1389
01:04:41,280 --> 01:04:43,760
Speaker 3: your head a bit, it's just that that's just not me, Like,

1390
01:04:43,800 --> 01:04:45,240
Speaker 3: it's not for me. And that's where I get a

1391
01:04:45,280 --> 01:04:47,800
Speaker 3: bit overwhelmed by this world. And I rechat back to

1392
01:04:47,840 --> 01:04:50,360
Speaker 3: my little bedroom and my kids and you know, and

1393
01:04:50,440 --> 01:04:53,920
Speaker 3: I remind myself that what my purpose is, it's to

1394
01:04:53,960 --> 01:04:56,360
Speaker 3: help people. Let's not get you know, let's not get lost.

1395
01:04:56,920 --> 01:04:59,680
Speaker 1: And I think, I I'm so glad you mean to that,

1396
01:04:59,680 --> 01:05:02,440
Speaker 1: because I want to build a profile. I'm proud of

1397
01:05:02,520 --> 01:05:05,280
Speaker 1: that inspires people. You said to me last night, Yes,

1398
01:05:05,720 --> 01:05:09,280
Speaker 1: and I think that you are doing that already, and

1399
01:05:09,320 --> 01:05:12,040
Speaker 1: I think the take homes from this vulnerability is power

1400
01:05:12,120 --> 01:05:16,680
Speaker 1: and celebrate your weirdness. My friends. Thank you so much,

1401
01:05:16,760 --> 01:05:20,280
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you, oh thanks for having me. This

1402
01:05:20,360 --> 01:05:22,040
Speaker 1: is the first bed podcast.

1403
01:05:23,720 --> 01:05:24,680
Speaker 2: Thanks beautiful.

1404
01:05:28,160 --> 01:05:33,800
Speaker 1: That's a wrap on another episode of Fearlessly Failing. As always,

1405
01:05:33,920 --> 01:05:37,320
Speaker 1: thank you to our guests, and let's continue the conversation

1406
01:05:37,480 --> 01:05:43,240
Speaker 1: on Instagram. I'm at yumo, lollaberry. This potty my word

1407
01:05:43,280 --> 01:05:48,040
Speaker 1: for podcast is available on all streaming platforms. I'd love

1408
01:05:48,040 --> 01:05:51,120
Speaker 1: it if you could subscribe, rate and comment and of

1409
01:05:51,200 --> 01:05:52,760
Speaker 1: course spread the love