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Speaker 1: Ash Matthew, What is the one thing that you look

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Speaker 1: after in your household?

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Speaker 2: Would you say it was dinner? At one point? It's

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Speaker 2: a lie. That's not anymore? Is it really? April's taken over?

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Speaker 1: What happened?

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Speaker 2: I just got lazy?

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Speaker 1: What did you put? Garlic and everything? Kids are like, fuck,

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Speaker 1: this is garlicy?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: What's that?

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Speaker 2: What's this garlic again?

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Speaker 1: Well, after today's guest, things are about to change. You'll

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Speaker 1: be putting that chef hat right back on because we've

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Speaker 1: got wholesome Sarah.

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Speaker 2: Is that right?

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Speaker 1: She's the queen of keeping family meals real. But don't

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Speaker 1: be fooled by the name. She wasn't always so wholesome,

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Speaker 1: Is that right?

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Speaker 4: Let's just say she had a run in with the cops,

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Speaker 4: a divvy van and a piece of lingerie that wasn't

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Speaker 4: exactly paid for wholesome with a criminal record my kind

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Speaker 4: of guess.

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Speaker 1: No, she's very wholesome. We talk about the pressure of breastfeeding,

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Speaker 1: the myth of the hands on dad, and why quality

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Speaker 1: in parenting is way overdue. So let's get into it.

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Speaker 5: Let's do it.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to two doting dads and one doting mum.

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Speaker 1: I'm mad a jay. I'm Ash and I'm Sarah, and

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Speaker 1: this is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good,

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Speaker 1: it is the bad, and the relatable. Now, so we

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Speaker 1: have of late been accidentally putting out some advice. If

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Speaker 1: you hear Ash and myself give advice, we would love

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Speaker 1: it if you would pull us up.

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Speaker 2: On it and tell us a shout out.

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Speaker 1: Sure, yeah, you are absolutely fine to give advice.

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Speaker 2: Loophole you need to.

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Speaker 5: Apologize type of advice.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, how cold my house is? Oh?

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Speaker 5: I love the cold.

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Speaker 6: Great.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we're sitting long sleeve your short.

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Speaker 5: I'm quite warm.

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Speaker 1: Ye, because I've just put got a bit excited. I

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Speaker 1: put the heat under the house and then I could

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Speaker 1: I've done that. It's now a bit of a cold snap.

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Speaker 1: But I forget you're from the Arctic.

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Speaker 3: Yes, totally when used to it and love the cold.

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Speaker 3: Winter is my season.

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Speaker 2: Cool it down in here, free.

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Speaker 1: We start off. I guess a very important question, and

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Speaker 1: that question is do you recall the most trouble you

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Speaker 1: ever got in as a child.

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Speaker 5: I do know you asked this question because I listened

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Speaker 5: to the.

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Speaker 3: Podcast, so I did have a bit of a pre

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Speaker 3: pre prepared answer, and I thought, am I going to

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Speaker 3: say this, I think I'm a psycho.

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Speaker 4: No.

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Speaker 3: I used to as a teenager shoplift and a lot,

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Speaker 3: and I think I had like a problem, clearly, and

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Speaker 3: it went over several years, and even some of my

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Speaker 3: best mates that I used to they'd be there with

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Speaker 3: me and they'd turn white cold and be like.

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Speaker 5: Oh no, Pounder, don't, don't again, and I'd do it.

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Speaker 3: And then I got caught towards Thank goodness, A girlfriend

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Speaker 3: and I had gone into Target and we put all

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Speaker 3: a whole lot of bras and undies under it. So

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Speaker 3: you go into the change rooms, you put them all

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Speaker 3: under and I'm probably just giving young people, you know,

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Speaker 3: and you put them all under your clothes in the

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Speaker 3: change rooms and then you just walk out. Anyway, we

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Speaker 3: walked out, and this woman from Target walked out and

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Speaker 3: I remember my friend at the time looking back with

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Speaker 3: this smirk like, yes, we did it.

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Speaker 5: We got through and she sort.

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Speaker 3: Of tap tap tapped me on the shoulder and said

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Speaker 3: can you please come upstairs to the Target office and

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Speaker 3: I just was like because my parents were quite strict,

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Speaker 3: so I was like, oh, I am dead. So went

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Speaker 3: down had to the police came to the shopping center,

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Speaker 3: this is will sixteen year old girls like anyway, handcuffed us.

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Speaker 3: We had to walk through the center, put in the

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Speaker 3: back of a Divvy van and go to Maulvene police

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Speaker 3: station and my dad came and collected me and he

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Speaker 3: was in a from work and the way I remember

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Speaker 3: it like it was yesterday, the way he looked at

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Speaker 3: me was just like, I am so shocked.

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Speaker 5: And he didn't talk and he just said.

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Speaker 3: We got in the car and he went, you wait

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Speaker 3: till you get home and your mother's going to tell me.

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Speaker 3: And I was just like, and I was grounded for

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Speaker 3: a term, no phone, no friends, nothing. And when I

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Speaker 3: was grunted, you weren't allowed to do it. Wasn't like,

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Speaker 3: oh you're grounded, but you know, stop the street, nothing

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Speaker 3: for a term. And then I never stole again.

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Speaker 4: So wow, can I ask I think the handcuffing thing

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Speaker 4: is like part of the humiliation. Yeah, yeah, if I

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Speaker 4: really cough, i'd be doing that like walking toddles out totally.

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Speaker 3: I think it sends the message home.

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Speaker 4: And you were six At sixteen, I had a girlfriend

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Speaker 4: that used to steal stuff too, and I was kind

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Speaker 4: of into it.

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Speaker 1: Were you stealing for a particular reason.

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Speaker 5: I don't know. I think it was.

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Speaker 3: I think it was that's real, and I think it

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Speaker 3: was just I was I'm one of five kids, but

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Speaker 3: I definitely just had the other four. I'm not like

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Speaker 3: they're boring as no they're not, but they just they're

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Speaker 3: always like, God, you were just naughty.

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Speaker 5: You just liked it, you know.

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Speaker 3: I didn't get scared of although that kind of that

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Speaker 3: situation did scare me a little bit, just with the

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Speaker 3: cops and.

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Speaker 1: Well, if you were seventeen, isn't that seventeen, you're sixteen?

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Speaker 1: Seventeen if you're seventeen, isn't that They.

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Speaker 3: Said that I had a five year bond, which I

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Speaker 3: actually found out later it was rubbish.

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Speaker 5: Mum and Dad just said that to scam me as well,

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Speaker 5: so that I didn't kill it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, if you if you steal again within five years,

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Speaker 3: you can be well, I.

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Speaker 2: Don't know, sentence twenty fives alive.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I think it was like you can be charged, and

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Speaker 3: that freaked the hell out of me, so I just

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Speaker 3: didn't do it again, which it worked.

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Speaker 4: I think seventeen in some states, it's like New South

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Speaker 4: Wales was seventeen, the Queensland's eighteen I.

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Speaker 2: Don't want to talk about it anymore.

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Speaker 1: This is coming from a place of experience.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, a penny.

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Speaker 5: Memo, Melbourne. We're riddled with it at the moment, and.

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Speaker 2: We've recently picked up stealing again.

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Speaker 1: Sir, you remind me a lot of my wife.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay's to go on.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot of looks wise, but I mean, you've

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Speaker 1: got you've got three kids, three girls.

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Speaker 5: Three girls.

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Speaker 1: We're on the cusp of having our third girl. Laura

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Speaker 1: is actually about to walk into the house any second,

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Speaker 1: by the way, she's getting her hair done and can't

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Speaker 1: split them, can't.

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Speaker 2: Well she's pregnant.

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Speaker 1: Well that's one big different, but both running your own business,

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Speaker 1: it is such a tricky decision to make or when

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Speaker 1: is the right time to have kids when you have

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Speaker 1: your own business, because you don't have the luxury of

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Speaker 1: just switching off from work. Do you remember how you

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Speaker 1: decided it was the right time to have kids.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like I was scared for quite a

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Speaker 3: few years. Like I didn't put off because I also

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Speaker 3: felt within I'd been with my husband forever. We were

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Speaker 3: seventeen when we got together, and we didn't have our

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Speaker 3: first till I just turned thirty, so it'd been a

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Speaker 3: long time and I just felt ready. But it was

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Speaker 3: so scary thinking about work at the time out of

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Speaker 3: catering company in Melbourne, and it was just sort of like,

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Speaker 3: I'm the only one cooking in here. There were no processes,

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Speaker 3: there were not nothing. So I sort of thought, you

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Speaker 3: take me out and there's kind of to cook.

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Speaker 5: He's not too bad. He's actually not too bad.

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Speaker 3: But again, like you know, your husband's not going to

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Speaker 3: step into chef role at.

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Speaker 4: A He's like, he's like the basics at home. He's

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Speaker 4: pretty good people.

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Speaker 3: Although he did anyway, that's another story, very supportive and real.

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Speaker 3: Was really good in the end with all the big functions,

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Speaker 3: but yeah, it was it was pretty petrifying. But what

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Speaker 3: I and it was such a long time ago now

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Speaker 3: eight years, but I do remember once I did take

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Speaker 3: the plunge and just do it, and I was like,

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Speaker 3: just start trying for a baby and see what happens.

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Speaker 5: Got pregnant quite quickly, which was really.

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Speaker 3: Lucky, and then it was a bit like, well, you

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Speaker 3: don't really have a choice. So then ended up hiring

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Speaker 3: my first sort of chef and different people within the business,

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Speaker 3: and it turned out to be the best thing ever

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Speaker 3: because it actually forced me out to work on the

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Speaker 3: business and kind of put processes in place to run

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Speaker 3: it without just me there all the time.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, to be really hard to, like, especially a growing business,

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Speaker 4: to set the processes when you're in the trenches cooking,

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Speaker 4: and yes you can't because you're all concentrating on that.

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Speaker 4: It'd be hard for you to switch off from that

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Speaker 4: to finishing a big catering job and then to go

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Speaker 4: home and then start to think about how are you.

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Speaker 3: Going to Definitely, so you just never had the time

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Speaker 3: in saying that.

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Speaker 5: I never switched off.

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Speaker 3: So once when I had all three girls, Lil and

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Speaker 3: Penno my first two, I was I still had the

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Speaker 3: catering company. I was still working straight away and how

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Speaker 3: long like had the laptop in the hospital.

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Speaker 4: Wow, Yeah, I was wondering where you were going with them?

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Speaker 3: And then I'm like, I realized now, And I think

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Speaker 3: that's a number of factors. I think it is when

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Speaker 3: you build something up yourself, you're a bit scared not

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Speaker 3: to let go, but you just sort of you want

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Speaker 3: to keep that control, I guess in a sense and

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Speaker 3: know what's going on, and I want to.

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Speaker 5: Fully take yourself out.

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Speaker 3: But also I do think it's now that I'm a

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Speaker 3: bit older, I had a little It was funny because

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Speaker 3: my third I didn't have the catering company anymore.

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Speaker 5: It was destroyed during COVID.

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Speaker 3: But it was actually the one that I took the

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Speaker 3: most time off with, which you think would be the

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Speaker 3: other way around, but I think, yeah, Like I sort

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Speaker 3: of had two weeks of nothing at the start, and I.

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Speaker 5: Was like, Wow, this is bliss like to.

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Speaker 3: Not have to think about you know, it was yeah.

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Speaker 5: Care the world.

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Speaker 2: I did not say that holiday.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I mean you could focus on the one thing.

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Speaker 3: Flitting your mind over like, and you know, there's there's

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Speaker 3: the anxiety of if you you know, you never know

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Speaker 3: what your night it's going to look like with a

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Speaker 3: newborn or even a young child.

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Speaker 5: So it sort of took out that for.

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Speaker 3: A small period of time because I was back working

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Speaker 3: within two weeks. But it did take out that, you know,

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Speaker 3: when you go to bed at night being like, oh

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Speaker 3: my god, I've got to do that big thing tomorrow,

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Speaker 3: but I don't know how much sleep I'm going to get,

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Speaker 3: and that's then going to you know, it's all gonna

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Speaker 3: trickle onto your performance and how it's so, yeah, more.

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Speaker 1: Anxious you are as well, the harder it.

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Speaker 5: Is, exactly like, it's just still real.

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Speaker 2: I've got I've got six hours. Funny, if I keep

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Speaker 2: looking at the club.

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Speaker 5: It's just going to go down to love zero.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, I feel like I got used to it,

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Speaker 3: and then I often now because we're done with babies,

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Speaker 3: and I'm like, do I regret not putting more in

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Speaker 3: place to kind of just give?

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Speaker 5: And do you know what?

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Speaker 3: I don't even have an answer to that yet because

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Speaker 3: I'm like, I know me and I'm just that personality

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Speaker 3: where I've loved working, I've loved having my own career.

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Speaker 3: I've loved there's pros and cons definitely, but it's I.

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Speaker 5: Don't know, I don't.

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Speaker 3: Maybe asked me in ten years and I might be like,

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Speaker 3: oh I wish I had a little bit more. But

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Speaker 3: I also don't love the newborn stage. Okay, I just

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Speaker 3: was never. I've got girlfriends that are like I love

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Speaker 3: that stage, like it's just you know, all wrapped up,

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Speaker 3: and I'm just like I was never.

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Speaker 5: I was like kind of and everyone's like, don't wish

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Speaker 5: it away. I'm like, oh, I can't. I want to

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Speaker 5: watch it away.

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Speaker 2: I wish they'd move out.

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Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, I'm conscious of the fact that you

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Speaker 1: should never like want to rush through any phase of

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Speaker 1: parenting because it once it's fucking gone, it's gone forever.

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Speaker 2: Shout out.

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Speaker 1: But I do recall someone holding a newborn and being

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Speaker 1: like you could just just stare at them for hours,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, what are.

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Speaker 2: You looking at?

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Speaker 1: What did you find the hardest thing about the newborn phase?

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Speaker 3: Ah, definitely breastfeeding with all three hated it, felt the pressure,

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Speaker 3: wasn't good at it, just hated it.

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Speaker 5: It didn't come easy to me.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to be really stupid here. Okay when you

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Speaker 1: say you went good at it, what do you.

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Speaker 5: Mean by that, Well, my I got block ducks really easily.

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Speaker 5: So it just it didn't.

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Speaker 3: I always thought, and again this was, you know, nine

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Speaker 3: years ago, before I had my first baby. I was like, oh,

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Speaker 3: I will be so like, I'll just be fine with breastfeeding.

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Speaker 3: I'm a chilled person. It will just come naturally to me.

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Speaker 3: I know what I'm like, I don't get too anxious

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Speaker 3: over things.

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Speaker 5: It'll be fine. And it just was the total opposite.

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Speaker 5: And it was also lack of information that you know.

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Speaker 3: Now I've got three younger sisters, and so I'll sort

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Speaker 3: of say to them, just do which I used to

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Speaker 3: be like, oh, I don't need to know a thing,

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Speaker 3: I'll just roll into it. But I think with Lil,

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Speaker 3: if I had have known more about breastfeeding, I got

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Speaker 3: very sick. So had mas statist three or four times,

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Speaker 3: which is quite common. But then the fourth it's pretty

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Speaker 3: much it's an infection that either get it can get

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Speaker 3: really bad, which for me it did, but it can

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Speaker 3: either just be a local sort of infection that you

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Speaker 3: get a really sore boob and it's inflamed and whatever.

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Speaker 3: You have antibiotics and it calms down, or you can

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Speaker 3: get full fever and whatever. But in my case it

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Speaker 3: went a bit beyond that and it turned into an abscess.

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Speaker 5: So which is just like a big infection.

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Speaker 3: And so yeah, which I just didn't know any of this,

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Speaker 3: and I feel like if I had have known anyway,

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Speaker 3: went to the GP because I had this very red boob,

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Speaker 3: like was I didn't feel well. I was in bed,

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Speaker 3: and so they're like she was five weeks old, wow,

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Speaker 3: so really little. And then went to the GP and

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Speaker 3: they're like, oh, that's not great. But then they told

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Speaker 3: me that, which was just odd. They told me to

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Speaker 3: go to a physio to get ultrasound to break down anyway.

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Speaker 3: So when I did that, and at this pointist totally.

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Speaker 5: It was just really when I looked back on, I'm like,

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Speaker 5: that was so screwed up. How they told me to

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Speaker 5: do that. It was bright red inflamed big.

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Speaker 3: And they've said, you know, and even the woman who

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Speaker 3: ultrasounded it was like, it looks quite infected, so go

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Speaker 3: home and rest. Anyway, that night went to emergency, so

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Speaker 3: they drained it and just locally, you know, stuck some

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Speaker 3: needles in and then took out this a whole lot

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Speaker 3: of infected pass and then they said you should feel relief.

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Speaker 3: They were great, you should feel relief, go home tonight

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Speaker 3: and rest. Anyway, that night it got worse and was

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Speaker 3: like a golf ball, went back into emergency and then

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Speaker 3: had to have breast surgery the next morning.

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Speaker 2: Holy yeah.

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Speaker 5: And so all of this was just a bit of

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Speaker 5: like a okay, all right, I'll just go with it.

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Speaker 3: And you know, lil was five weeks old, and when

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Speaker 3: they're that little, they're still feeding every two to three hours.

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Speaker 5: So dependent. So then yeah, had had the surgery. It

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Speaker 5: was so funny.

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Speaker 3: I remember because Tom my husband stayed home with Lil

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Speaker 3: that night, and I think that's probably I can't remember

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Speaker 3: if we'd introduced formula for feed already. But anyway, I

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Speaker 3: went to the emergency with my sister and we're sat

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Speaker 3: which is fine, but we had to stay in the

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Speaker 3: emergency section the whole night, and we just had this

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Speaker 3: nonna who was next to us in a shared bed

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Speaker 3: that was farting all night, and so Larsa and I

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Speaker 3: was sharing this tiny my sister and I was sharing

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Speaker 3: this tiny single bed, and I was just like, fuck.

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Speaker 5: Like I have to have this breast surgery in the morning.

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Speaker 2: But we were laughing. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Woman, that was just like coughing and splattering and fine.

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Speaker 3: So that was actually kind of nice because it kind of,

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Speaker 3: you know, made it a bit humorous.

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Speaker 2: It could be a really dumb question.

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Speaker 4: Ah, yeah, no dumb questions. Although they're you're infected on

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Speaker 4: this side, can you still feed on this Yes?

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Speaker 5: Totally great question.

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Speaker 3: And do you know what's even go one step further?

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Speaker 3: Which I hate, still hate the arrogant surgeon that did

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Speaker 3: my breast. I have an issue with surgeons anywayholes. They

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Speaker 3: are assholes generally generally.

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Speaker 2: Attack the medical professor.

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Speaker 5: Say generally are they rural?

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Speaker 2: Are they rural surgeons?

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Speaker 1: Because we hate them the most.

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Speaker 3: No, this was in a city, but he no. I

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Speaker 3: just sometimes I'm like, oh, you just don't. You haven't

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Speaker 3: put yourself in the woman's shoes of five week old baby,

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Speaker 3: first time mum, the stress that this would have. So

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Speaker 3: I had the surgery, which was quite full on. I

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Speaker 3: had this packing that went really deep because the infection

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Speaker 3: was like deep behind my nipple. So he came in

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Speaker 3: to do like his check, you know, a day or two,

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Speaker 3: like I can't remember, and he was like, yeah, so

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Speaker 3: it all went well, you know, you should be fine

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Speaker 3: better and you should be able to keep feeding out

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Speaker 3: of that boob. And I was like, oh, okay, yep.

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Speaker 3: So here's me, this hormonal like new mom that's just

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Speaker 3: wanting to do the best for a child.

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Speaker 5: So I keep trying to feed.

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Speaker 3: I had milk coming out the wound at the top

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Speaker 3: of my breast, and yes, I.

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Speaker 2: Was not prepared for this conversation.

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Speaker 4: I just like, like, you'll be five, keep feeding breast

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Speaker 4: is best.

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Speaker 5: I know.

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Speaker 3: So I persisted until it nearly broke me and then

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Speaker 3: my husband, my mom, my mother in law, and my

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Speaker 3: maternal nurse, which God lover were all like stop an intervention, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you need to stop. And I'm like, like this nutcase

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Speaker 3: of But you know, I think a lot of women

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Speaker 3: out there will will understand the pressure that you feel

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Speaker 3: to breastfeed.

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Speaker 5: It's it's really messed up.

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Speaker 1: Like what do you when you're not able to do

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Speaker 1: something that you think would have been so natural? What

380
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Speaker 1: does that do to your mindset? What kind of place

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Speaker 1: you win?

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Speaker 3: I just think again, it was so long ago now,

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Speaker 3: but at the time, I just felt really like it

384
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Speaker 3: wasn't like because I'm not usually a person that's like

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Speaker 3: I feil it as a mother, but like it's sort

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Speaker 3: of it really did sort of play with your mindset

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Speaker 3: of well, this isn't how it's meant to be, Like

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Speaker 3: why can't I do a simple thing like feeding my

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Speaker 3: own baby?

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Speaker 5: Like I just don't understand.

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Speaker 2: Was it like a sense of failure?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: And then also you know to try and persist. And

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Speaker 3: this happened with both because I had mass statists. With

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Speaker 3: my second it didn't go to an abscess, Saint God,

396
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Speaker 3: but then with my with my thirty year ago, I

397
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Speaker 3: didn't have any masst artists. But I hated breastfeeding anyway,

398
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Speaker 3: so I made the just my own.

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Speaker 5: Choice to stop breastfeeding.

400
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Speaker 3: But even in that, so you know, having children over

401
00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:44,240
Speaker 3: eight years, I'm thirty seven or whatever. And even when,

402
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:46,600
Speaker 3: like I said to my husband, I can't do this anymore,

403
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:48,800
Speaker 3: work so stressful, like the breastfeeding, I don't enjoy it

404
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:49,439
Speaker 3: takes so long.

405
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Speaker 5: And he was like, well, you know what, why why

406
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Speaker 5: don't you change over to formula?

407
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Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, I just I can't like

408
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Speaker 3: And anyway, we made the decision why I made the

409
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Speaker 3: decision to do it, so he was helping me wean

410
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Speaker 3: off it. Even when my body could still make the milk.

411
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Speaker 3: Even though I'd made the decision, I'd be like, maybe

412
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Speaker 3: I should just go back to feeding, maybe I should

413
00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:08,320
Speaker 3: start pumping again to get my supply up. And he

414
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Speaker 3: was like, says, you know that our babies are fine,

415
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:14,439
Speaker 3: our previous to have been fine. I know, but I

416
00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:16,520
Speaker 3: just it's and then as soon as your body can't

417
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:19,680
Speaker 3: make it fine, like love formula.

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Speaker 5: It's the best. It's really screwed up. How it just

419
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:22,920
Speaker 5: plays with your mind?

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Speaker 4: And do you think like there was do you think

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Speaker 4: there's external pressure for mums to have to breastfeed?

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Speaker 5: Do you think? I think so?

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Speaker 3: But it's so funny you say that, because I've never

424
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Speaker 3: been one to give a shit about what other people

425
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Speaker 3: think necessary in some senses.

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Speaker 5: But with that, I was always I didn't think I cared.

427
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Speaker 3: But maybe, you know, just from societal norms and cultural

428
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:49,240
Speaker 3: norms for so long, it's just subconscious. Maybe I do

429
00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:51,840
Speaker 3: think that, you know, because I'd find myself justifying it

430
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Speaker 3: to people if they're like, oh, you know, are you feeding?

431
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Speaker 5: Are you breastfeeding? I'd be like, oh, no, formula fee

432
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Speaker 5: but I had an abscess.

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Speaker 2: It's like.

434
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Speaker 4: Here's smoking because I can imagine like, yeah, like there's

435
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:09,080
Speaker 4: so much pressure on mums already. And then we have

436
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:10,760
Speaker 4: a segment in our show where we're like what not

437
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:12,520
Speaker 4: to say to mums yeah or parents?

438
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:15,680
Speaker 2: Sorry to be correct that, and one that does pop

439
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:17,959
Speaker 2: up is like, oh, so you didn't breastfeed. It's like

440
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,160
Speaker 2: it's like it's the like you've done the wrong thing.

441
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:22,720
Speaker 4: When it's always going to be different, There's always going

442
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,000
Speaker 4: to be different circumstances is always going to be different.

443
00:19:26,119 --> 00:19:27,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, different things that can.

444
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:31,040
Speaker 1: Happen along the way or Laura's milk just shut off. Yes, yeah,

445
00:19:31,119 --> 00:19:33,280
Speaker 1: after a few months, just like she just ran dry.

446
00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:35,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I mean it was.

447
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:41,960
Speaker 1: It's disappointing for me, you know, as a as a

448
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:43,800
Speaker 1: as a dad in that scenario, it just be like

449
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:44,520
Speaker 1: to do more work.

450
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:45,880
Speaker 5: I was about to say, yeah.

451
00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:48,280
Speaker 1: When you start doing the bottle feeding.

452
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:50,920
Speaker 5: I enjoyed it totally. Yeah.

453
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,960
Speaker 3: No, I've got mates, like guy mates that are like

454
00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:55,479
Speaker 3: just loved when the breastfeeding was there, because I mean

455
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:56,280
Speaker 3: I didn't have to get.

456
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:57,840
Speaker 5: Up in that night and do anything. I'm like, yes, yes,

457
00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:58,800
Speaker 5: exactly fucking.

458
00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:03,400
Speaker 1: Right, just try the other more time.

459
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:06,399
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I would like get up I would I

460
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:10,119
Speaker 4: think with Oscar at my firstborn, I would I think

461
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:14,880
Speaker 4: the lack of education for me around the whole, I

462
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,560
Speaker 4: just thought. I just thought I didn't want able to

463
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:20,480
Speaker 4: be up alone. Like the advice I was given was

464
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,280
Speaker 4: just don't talk, you know what I mean. And then

465
00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:24,920
Speaker 4: it got to a point where we're just both tired,

466
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:26,560
Speaker 4: and then it was like we had the conversation. But

467
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,040
Speaker 4: then with my second because you obviously pick up things

468
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:29,840
Speaker 4: and what not to do.

469
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:32,320
Speaker 2: For the first six months, like I said, I slept

470
00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:33,960
Speaker 2: in the laund room, so that I could just.

471
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,840
Speaker 4: Be right there and then there was not me in

472
00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:39,120
Speaker 4: the way, really, because yeah, a lot of.

473
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:41,399
Speaker 1: Time smoothed out.

474
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:42,920
Speaker 2: I still haven't gone back.

475
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,400
Speaker 1: He was in the state.

476
00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:48,360
Speaker 5: So that you have peace in the home at.

477
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:50,560
Speaker 1: How was Tom during all of this?

478
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:55,200
Speaker 5: He was great. He's like a it's so funny.

479
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:56,600
Speaker 3: I have to be careful with my words here because

480
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,120
Speaker 3: I was about to say hands on dad, But I'm

481
00:20:58,119 --> 00:21:00,240
Speaker 3: a person that advocates not to say that's so that

482
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:03,119
Speaker 3: it becomes normal to be a fifty to fifty parent.

483
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:04,680
Speaker 2: Sure, he's awesome.

484
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:06,400
Speaker 5: He really enjoys.

485
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:09,439
Speaker 3: I mean, no one enjoys being sleep deprived or but

486
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:12,679
Speaker 3: even like the hospital instance, I was in hospital for

487
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:15,560
Speaker 3: six nights, so he had Lily at home every night,

488
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:18,000
Speaker 3: and that was sort of like a real introduction because

489
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,080
Speaker 3: he was doing all night feeds. I was at the

490
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:21,919
Speaker 3: time pumping in hospital, and then he'd bring her in

491
00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:23,480
Speaker 3: in the morning until we.

492
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,560
Speaker 5: Decided until I decided to stop breastfeeding. But he's very good.

493
00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:29,399
Speaker 3: He's always been on feeds, like all even when I

494
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:31,879
Speaker 3: was breastfeeding early days. For all three we do a

495
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,320
Speaker 3: formula feed because we love formula, and he'd always want

496
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:36,400
Speaker 3: to do it. He'd always do like the late night

497
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,240
Speaker 3: let me go to bed for seven hours, and I'd

498
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:40,320
Speaker 3: do the one in the middle. Like he's just always

499
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:43,879
Speaker 3: been pretty on board, wants to be involved, likes it

500
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:45,840
Speaker 3: doesn't complain like, yeah.

501
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:48,440
Speaker 1: Did he have any green flags before you had kids

502
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,280
Speaker 1: where you thought, Okay, this is a sign this guy

503
00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:51,280
Speaker 1: is going to be a His.

504
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:56,040
Speaker 3: Dad's pretty good, so that I feel like he's yeah, yeah,

505
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,119
Speaker 3: so I feel like that's a pretty good sign. Like

506
00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:02,199
Speaker 3: his dad's French. But he's also very like not that

507
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:06,000
Speaker 3: it matters about that makes it a good dad, No,

508
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:10,000
Speaker 3: but he was always pretty hands on, like even when

509
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:11,720
Speaker 3: you know, we've been going out for so long. So

510
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:14,199
Speaker 3: I saw it for many years and heard stories of

511
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:15,879
Speaker 3: how he used to change nappies and do all that.

512
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:17,880
Speaker 3: So I was like, wow, that's pretty and I love

513
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:19,720
Speaker 3: my dad to death, but did not change one of

514
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:20,600
Speaker 3: our fire nappies.

515
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:20,800
Speaker 5: Ever.

516
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:22,800
Speaker 2: My dad's a better parent to my kids than he

517
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:23,200
Speaker 2: was to me.

518
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:27,119
Speaker 5: Yeah, yes, totally yeah, same, who is that?

519
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:28,240
Speaker 2: Yes? To deal with that?

520
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:31,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's I think it's just well, I feel like

521
00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:34,399
Speaker 3: grandparents have heard a lot. It's different being a grandparent

522
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:36,639
Speaker 3: than a parent because you're like more relaxed, you realize

523
00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:38,880
Speaker 3: the cycle of life, Like you're more grateful because you're

524
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:40,680
Speaker 3: not in this, you know, the nutcakees like.

525
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:43,639
Speaker 2: You can leave.

526
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:47,440
Speaker 1: Why do you dislike the term hands on parent?

527
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:51,320
Speaker 3: It's just oh yeah, so I get I always go

528
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:53,080
Speaker 3: into this a little bit because I've got to chip

529
00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:58,879
Speaker 3: on my shoulder about it. Let's find It's just I

530
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,200
Speaker 3: get told all the time I'm how lucky I am

531
00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:05,199
Speaker 3: because Tom's so hands on, And it just shits me

532
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:08,840
Speaker 3: because I'm like, whatso, And there's a million things that

533
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:12,119
Speaker 3: runs through my head. But firstly, and not that everyone

534
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:14,720
Speaker 3: has to both work full time, but in our case,

535
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:17,840
Speaker 3: and everyone's case is different, we both work full time.

536
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:20,640
Speaker 3: So I don't see why it's so odd to see

537
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:23,560
Speaker 3: that he parents like full time with me.

538
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:27,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess he's not receiving the same commentary of like,

539
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:30,040
Speaker 1: you're so lucky that Sarah works totally.

540
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:31,760
Speaker 3: And then when do you ever hear the comment of

541
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:35,280
Speaker 3: like about mum's being hands on, You're such a hands

542
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:39,560
Speaker 3: on mums Sarah, Like it just doesn't exist because it's expected. Yeah,

543
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:42,640
Speaker 3: So it's just it's just this idea that and then

544
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:44,960
Speaker 3: it shits me as well because I'm like, he's not

545
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:45,920
Speaker 3: a good dad.

546
00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:48,359
Speaker 5: He's actually just a good dad because he's a good human.

547
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:52,200
Speaker 3: So it sort of stems back to you know, it's

548
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:54,320
Speaker 3: a lot of the time, Yeah, women that do more

549
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,040
Speaker 3: with their children that say to me, oh, you're just

550
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:59,120
Speaker 3: so lucky because Tom does so much, And I'm like, well,

551
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:02,480
Speaker 3: we kind of fifty to fifty parents, so it's not

552
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:05,400
Speaker 3: like he's doing more or I'm laying on the couch

553
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:08,840
Speaker 3: just chilling out like it just yeah, it shits me

554
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:11,800
Speaker 3: because it's his whole notion of like it also just

555
00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:16,800
Speaker 3: undermines men even more for wanting to be more involved

556
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:17,479
Speaker 3: with their children.

557
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:18,840
Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, I.

558
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:22,400
Speaker 4: Think like when we were expecting our first child, I never.

559
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:25,879
Speaker 2: Any of this stuff never occurred to me.

560
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:27,760
Speaker 4: So I just got up and did what I thought

561
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 4: I had to do, which was we both had this kid, right,

562
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:32,480
Speaker 4: so this is our.

563
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:35,320
Speaker 2: Kids, your kid here to help. You're not a hands

564
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:35,680
Speaker 2: on mum.

565
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:37,840
Speaker 4: You're right, that doesn't exist because you are just mum.

566
00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:39,440
Speaker 4: So why can't dad just be dad?

567
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:40,040
Speaker 1: Yeah?

568
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:41,720
Speaker 5: And why does he have to get praised because he

569
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:42,720
Speaker 5: does school drop off?

570
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:49,879
Speaker 4: Because it's really hard.

571
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:49,200
Speaker 3: You know, So I actually agree with that, but yeah,

572
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:52,000
Speaker 3: it's just a funny And then I'm like often his

573
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:54,879
Speaker 3: extension of being a good father, which is he is

574
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:57,160
Speaker 3: a wonderful father, but that's just because he's a good

575
00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:01,080
Speaker 3: human and so he is a considerate person. He's loving,

576
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:03,920
Speaker 3: he's caring, he's nurturing. He gives a shit about how

577
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,159
Speaker 3: his kids, not saying people don't if they're not hands on,

578
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:08,600
Speaker 3: but he gives a shit about how his three girls

579
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:09,960
Speaker 3: are going to grow up in the world. So he

580
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:12,359
Speaker 3: wants to be there and around them, and he gets

581
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:14,480
Speaker 3: and I'm not just saying this, he often says this

582
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,840
Speaker 3: to me. He gets pure joy just out of hanging

583
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:19,600
Speaker 3: out with them, like getting outside doing fun shit. It's

584
00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 3: not a chore for him. But I think that just

585
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:24,560
Speaker 3: comes back to who he is as a person as

586
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:27,080
Speaker 3: opposed to like being trained to be a good dad

587
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 3: or I've skept it out like this this guy that's

588
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:31,720
Speaker 3: just going to do everything that I don't want to

589
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:34,720
Speaker 3: do in parenting or whatever. So it's yeah, I just

590
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:37,159
Speaker 3: I think that we need to kind of also raise.

591
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:45,120
Speaker 1: The dog for the listeners. Laura's ruined the podcast by

592
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:47,640
Speaker 1: rudely coming back.

593
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:49,200
Speaker 4: From a haircut and pointing out the washing that you

594
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:50,600
Speaker 4: didn't put it.

595
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:54,440
Speaker 1: She did say make sure let's put away three times.

596
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,240
Speaker 4: And also I just said, I don't know what you're

597
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:58,720
Speaker 4: talking about because I don't want to get involved. Yeah,

598
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:05,439
Speaker 4: because it's you know, you can to me. So you

599
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,639
Speaker 4: were saying that you hate it when people say you're

600
00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:08,960
Speaker 4: lucky to have.

601
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:10,920
Speaker 5: A hands on dad.

602
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:14,320
Speaker 2: What would you prefer how would you prefer people to

603
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:17,360
Speaker 2: refer to like that situation.

604
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:17,879
Speaker 5: I don't know.

605
00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:20,119
Speaker 3: It's it's probably not even a title I want him

606
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 3: to have. I think it's just more people to have

607
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:25,399
Speaker 3: the view and the lens that having a partnership is

608
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:28,520
Speaker 3: more like is normal as opposed to, you know, mum

609
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:31,119
Speaker 3: being primary caregiver and it always defaulting back to the

610
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,359
Speaker 3: mum and the dad's the helper or you know. I

611
00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:37,000
Speaker 3: used to infuriate me when guys would say, oh, well,

612
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,400
Speaker 3: I'm babysitting this Saturday night. I'd be like, oh my god,

613
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:40,800
Speaker 3: are you're fucking kidding? They're your children.

614
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:45,800
Speaker 2: I always do that. Yeah, yeah, but it's sort.

615
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:47,760
Speaker 5: Of like, oh my god, we're in twenty twenty five.

616
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:49,120
Speaker 5: How can people be thinking like that.

617
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 3: Just because the woman carried the baby, it does not

618
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:53,760
Speaker 3: mean that she should and it's do you know what

619
00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:56,919
Speaker 3: it's it's very because it's such a touchy subject for people.

620
00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:02,000
Speaker 3: It's very dependent on everyone's personal situation, and in our case,

621
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:03,320
Speaker 3: we both do work full time.

622
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:07,960
Speaker 5: So I get really not upset, but like agitated when

623
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:09,920
Speaker 5: people are like, you're so lucky because you know.

624
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:12,840
Speaker 3: Tom will turn up at school three mornings a week

625
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:14,400
Speaker 3: as opposed to my two, and I'm like.

626
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:16,360
Speaker 5: Jesus, like, are we really there?

627
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:16,439
Speaker 1: Do?

628
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:18,240
Speaker 3: We want to break down every role that we do

629
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 3: in the home, like so how did.

630
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:23,280
Speaker 1: You guys get there? And dividing up who does what

631
00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 1: when it comes to being a parause it's such a

632
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:29,159
Speaker 1: blurred line where you are both just juggling. Yeah, Like

633
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:31,080
Speaker 1: did you have to sit down and say, hey, this

634
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:32,600
Speaker 1: is You're gonna do A B and C, you know,

635
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 1: and I'll do the rest?

636
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:36,760
Speaker 3: Not really, I feel like we just fell into because

637
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:38,120
Speaker 3: most of the time when I go to do school

638
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:40,479
Speaker 3: drop off, I'm late. Every time there's shit left ever,

639
00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:42,720
Speaker 3: I leave the lunch boxes at home, and I think

640
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,000
Speaker 3: Tom's just like I like to do it and I'm

641
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 3: better at it, so I'll do it. And I'm like, okay, great,

642
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:50,840
Speaker 3: But I think we we didn't ever sit down and

643
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,400
Speaker 3: you know, divvy up. I think we just naturally fell

644
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:55,760
Speaker 3: and we've been together such a long time. But I

645
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:57,960
Speaker 3: weirdly am like to young people every now and then,

646
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:01,040
Speaker 3: I'm like, you should which sounds so ridiculous, but you

647
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:01,679
Speaker 3: should try and have.

648
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,520
Speaker 5: A conversation with your partner before you have.

649
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:05,879
Speaker 3: Kids about which it's so hud because once you have

650
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:08,399
Speaker 3: a child, it changes everything and even what you said

651
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:10,399
Speaker 3: before you had your first baby will be different to

652
00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:13,320
Speaker 3: when you have it. But have a conversation about, you know,

653
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:16,960
Speaker 3: the woman's career or how you want that to change,

654
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:18,840
Speaker 3: or what you might think the next year looks like.

655
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:20,000
Speaker 5: And I don't know.

656
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:21,960
Speaker 3: I just feel like people go into having their first

657
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:23,679
Speaker 3: baby blind, which most of us do.

658
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:24,640
Speaker 2: When that's guilty.

659
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:27,480
Speaker 4: Yes, I did the same. I felt like I did

660
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:30,200
Speaker 4: the same. And then after the baby came, it was like, oh,

661
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:31,800
Speaker 4: give me a girl that yes.

662
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:32,160
Speaker 1: Yeah.

663
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:32,920
Speaker 2: Yeah.

664
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:36,399
Speaker 4: I just felt like by putting myself in the position

665
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:38,400
Speaker 4: where it's like I'd never change it nappy in my life.

666
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:39,000
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah.

667
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 4: And it was like day one, I'm like, give me

668
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:43,480
Speaker 4: a go yeah, And then it was like, oh, you

669
00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:46,320
Speaker 4: know I can do this and whatever, and I and like,

670
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:49,720
Speaker 4: I don't. Yeah, I'd never thought about it as like, yeah,

671
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:51,480
Speaker 4: hands on it. I was just doing it because it

672
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:51,800
Speaker 4: was there.

673
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:52,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, I.

674
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:56,320
Speaker 2: Can tell us about Laura had.

675
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:58,680
Speaker 1: To come and say, like, you're being a bit useless.

676
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:00,880
Speaker 2: Shot to the ego.

677
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:04,040
Speaker 5: Now, Yeah, when you look.

678
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:08,440
Speaker 1: Back at because you're very experienced now with three children,

679
00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:10,560
Speaker 1: when you look back at the early days of parenting,

680
00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:14,000
Speaker 1: breastfeeding asign, is there anything that you look back on

681
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:17,800
Speaker 1: and go, God, I was doing things so stupidly. I

682
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 1: wish I'd done things to.

683
00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:22,040
Speaker 5: Lots of things.

684
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 3: But I'm like, God, it was such a long time

685
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:25,200
Speaker 3: ago that I'm like, it's a blur.

686
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:26,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, it is.

687
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:28,920
Speaker 3: Kind of a blur, like an eight years as well,

688
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:29,640
Speaker 3: Like you sort of.

689
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:31,600
Speaker 5: I don't know.

690
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:33,720
Speaker 3: My best mate's about to have her first baby, and

691
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:35,880
Speaker 3: I've been thinking about it a lot lately because I'm like,

692
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:37,360
Speaker 3: what do I tell her?

693
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:38,800
Speaker 5: Like, what advice do I give it?

694
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:39,160
Speaker 4: A luck?

695
00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:41,480
Speaker 1: You're gotta be fucked ye.

696
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:46,000
Speaker 3: However, but it's just a bit like everyone's so different,

697
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:48,479
Speaker 3: Like I'm sure i'd have ten but nothing. But it's

698
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:50,080
Speaker 3: not like I'm saying I was a perfect parent, no

699
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 3: fucking way.

700
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:53,040
Speaker 5: But I'm like I can't think of one at the minute.

701
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:55,160
Speaker 4: But I'm like you just I feel like you, Yeah,

702
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:58,360
Speaker 4: you sort of just adapt as you can.

703
00:29:58,440 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 2: Like you said, it's going to be so.

704
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:03,760
Speaker 4: Different, yes, for every kid's different and every situation is

705
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:04,360
Speaker 4: going to be different.

706
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 2: It's hard to like give it overarching advice. Definitely think

707
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:11,280
Speaker 2: you just like just do I think, and we say

708
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:12,680
Speaker 2: it a lot on this podcast. Just do the best

709
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:13,040
Speaker 2: you can.

710
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:15,880
Speaker 5: Absolutely, and also just give yourself a break.

711
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:20,160
Speaker 3: I think at times, like you know, it's it's such

712
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,520
Speaker 3: a foot and that's what I've because having three daughters

713
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:26,000
Speaker 3: myself now, I've said to myself, like I've ingrained this

714
00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:28,320
Speaker 3: in my brain of time.

715
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:31,640
Speaker 5: Will pass and you'll forget so much of the early days.

716
00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:33,760
Speaker 3: Like you know, we're still kind of in it with Ellier,

717
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:36,440
Speaker 3: our third now, who's fifteen months old. But you know,

718
00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:39,400
Speaker 3: you get older, you've done it two times before, you

719
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:42,400
Speaker 3: kind of it's not as significant as the first time.

720
00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:45,560
Speaker 3: But I might just don't forget how hard it is

721
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:49,280
Speaker 3: when you have that first baby to be particularly a

722
00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:52,160
Speaker 3: female with the hormones, with the like what the fuck

723
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 3: am I doing? I don't know what the hell's going on?

724
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:56,600
Speaker 3: Like you know, who am I as a person anymore.

725
00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:59,320
Speaker 3: You totally lose your identity for however long until you

726
00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:00,880
Speaker 3: work out you know how to get it back or

727
00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:01,200
Speaker 3: what you.

728
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:01,560
Speaker 5: Want to do.

729
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:04,680
Speaker 3: But I might just don't forget, you know, because you

730
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:06,480
Speaker 3: do get a lot of the older mum comments that

731
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:08,760
Speaker 3: are like, oh, sleep when the baby sleeps, and like

732
00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:11,360
Speaker 3: all that annoying shitty advice that you're just like, fuck

733
00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:13,480
Speaker 3: off when the baby sleeps. I've got one hour to

734
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:15,760
Speaker 3: clean the house, do this, do this, do this, yeah,

735
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:17,800
Speaker 3: run the business. I'm like, I'm not sleeping, like and

736
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 3: also I'm so highly strung that I can't. So it's

737
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:23,280
Speaker 3: just sort of like just be there and be supportive

738
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:25,280
Speaker 3: and and you know, anything you need I can do,

739
00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:27,640
Speaker 3: and just don't forget. And I have to think about

740
00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 3: this often with my three younger sisters as well when

741
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:32,080
Speaker 3: they're going to get pregnant, and also my best mate,

742
00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:34,520
Speaker 3: but also my three daughters in however many years time,

743
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:36,479
Speaker 3: that is, if they decide to have children, of like,

744
00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:39,719
Speaker 3: just be there and be a nice support don't give

745
00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:43,600
Speaker 3: annoying advice, just like turn up, do some washing, you know,

746
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:45,920
Speaker 3: take the baby out for a walk, whatever, and just

747
00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:49,680
Speaker 3: remember that the new mum, hormonal brain is pretty fucked.

748
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:57,120
Speaker 5: Up on the edge of it. I'm really telling it again.

749
00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:00,920
Speaker 1: I know I'm thinking, my god, that wasn't in the

750
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:02,160
Speaker 1: brace position before. I am.

751
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:02,400
Speaker 2: Now.

752
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:05,640
Speaker 1: I want to talk about transitioning from having your own

753
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:08,120
Speaker 1: catering company yep, to then being going to call you

754
00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:09,200
Speaker 1: a social media superstar.

755
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:14,080
Speaker 4: You've got a mill a million followers on instagramie that.

756
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:16,560
Speaker 1: You're on to a winner on social media.

757
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:22,720
Speaker 3: So I started the Instagram account during COVID when my

758
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:25,160
Speaker 3: business had sort of been closed because in Victoria we

759
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 3: had long, long lockdowns and yes sort of started but

760
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:32,280
Speaker 3: still had my catering company alongside it.

761
00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:33,680
Speaker 5: So I just sort of did it.

762
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:35,560
Speaker 3: Add the love of food and cooking and I sort

763
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:37,640
Speaker 3: of thought, I'm just going to start an account and

764
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 3: start filming recipes and put them out there. It was

765
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:43,240
Speaker 3: when reels had just started, and it was actually my

766
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:45,040
Speaker 3: husband where we sat down because I was just flat

767
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:45,520
Speaker 3: as a tower.

768
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:47,480
Speaker 5: I was like, oh my god, I can't run my business.

769
00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 5: I can't plan like and he was sort of like.

770
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:51,360
Speaker 3: I was like, I want to buy a camera and

771
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:53,440
Speaker 3: start filming these recipes, and he was like, well, these

772
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:55,239
Speaker 3: reels seem to be going off, and we both had

773
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:56,840
Speaker 3: a chat and I was like, yep, I'm going to

774
00:32:56,880 --> 00:33:00,520
Speaker 3: do it. And then it wasn't until about still un

775
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:05,360
Speaker 3: till I started posting consistently, so daily that I always

776
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:07,240
Speaker 3: tell this story that I was in a Woolies like

777
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:09,920
Speaker 3: I sort of posted a recipe and then got my trolley,

778
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:12,560
Speaker 3: was walking around Woolies and my phone just started to

779
00:33:12,560 --> 00:33:14,600
Speaker 3: be like ding ding ding ding, and I was sort

780
00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:16,920
Speaker 3: of like, oh, I don't really know what's going on here,

781
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:18,440
Speaker 3: and then pulled it out. It was sort of the

782
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:20,760
Speaker 3: first one of my videos that had gone viral.

783
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:21,800
Speaker 2: Do you remember which one it was?

784
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:24,040
Speaker 5: It was a chickpea avocado mix.

785
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:27,360
Speaker 1: I feel like, I feel like there's something I could.

786
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:36,560
Speaker 3: Do it super easy, you said.

787
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:35,880
Speaker 5: Got elemon and easy things.

788
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:39,320
Speaker 3: People forget that before Reel started, you couldn't really have

789
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:42,080
Speaker 3: a post go viral because it was just the people

790
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:42,840
Speaker 3: that followed you.

791
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:44,920
Speaker 5: So I actually feel like it was harder.

792
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:47,800
Speaker 3: For people to build a following before Reel started because

793
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:49,760
Speaker 3: they had to find you or hear of you and

794
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:51,640
Speaker 3: literally search you to.

795
00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:54,360
Speaker 2: Then you know, follow on that explore page.

796
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:58,560
Speaker 4: Background, Yes, it was only people with already big accounts

797
00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:00,960
Speaker 4: that were already known people was really hard.

798
00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:03,520
Speaker 2: Yes, unless it cracking, unless it was spam.

799
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:08,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, but yeah, like reels pushing, pushing your stuff out

800
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:08,640
Speaker 4: to the masses.

801
00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:11,040
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah. Yeah. So that was kind of the first point.

802
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:14,960
Speaker 3: And then from then it just I started growing really quickly,

803
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:18,200
Speaker 3: and I was a bit like, oh, Okay, it wasn't

804
00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:19,719
Speaker 3: a huge surprise to me because I'm not going to

805
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:21,960
Speaker 3: sit here and be like my recipes are ship. But

806
00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:25,320
Speaker 3: I was surprised in the benefit that it gave people.

807
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:27,640
Speaker 3: I was quite like, I got all these beautiful, lovely

808
00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:30,040
Speaker 3: messages of people like, oh my god, I'd lost my

809
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:32,440
Speaker 3: zans in the kitchen, and then I started cooking your

810
00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:34,239
Speaker 3: food and I loved it. And you've got me back

811
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:36,440
Speaker 3: in the kitchen, all the kids are eating the dinner

812
00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:37,440
Speaker 3: and all of this sort of stuff.

813
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:40,680
Speaker 1: I'm like, like the market where.

814
00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:42,880
Speaker 5: This is more just over like weeks, you know.

815
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:45,720
Speaker 2: And also like at that time COVID people had so much.

816
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:49,400
Speaker 3: Time with definitely everyone was cooking the sourdough, you know,

817
00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:50,880
Speaker 3: making the sound.

818
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:53,560
Speaker 4: We always say, were like, there's so many good things

819
00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:56,120
Speaker 4: that came out of Yes, I miss it, be honest,

820
00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:57,680
Speaker 4: I miss.

821
00:34:57,440 --> 00:34:59,520
Speaker 2: It because I wouldn't I wouldn't be doing what I

822
00:34:59,560 --> 00:34:59,879
Speaker 2: do now.

823
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:01,200
Speaker 5: Yes, it's incredible.

824
00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 4: Yes, probably same as you totally because you would have

825
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:05,440
Speaker 4: just been like, I want to build my catering business,

826
00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:06,440
Speaker 4: but you had.

827
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:09,560
Speaker 2: To shift your focus to the environment that we were

828
00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:09,920
Speaker 2: living in.

829
00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:10,480
Speaker 5: Totally.

830
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:13,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely, and I feel like that's exactly right. It

831
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:16,000
Speaker 3: was a blessing in disguise because at the time it

832
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:17,680
Speaker 3: felt terrible because it was sort of and I had

833
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:20,200
Speaker 3: two lead spaces in the city in Melbourne that were

834
00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:23,040
Speaker 3: just like draining money and so I was super stressful.

835
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:26,080
Speaker 3: I was also pregnant with Penny, my second daughter, So at.

836
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:27,560
Speaker 5: The time it felt terrible.

837
00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:29,720
Speaker 3: But then you know, you kind of see the silver

838
00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:32,319
Speaker 3: lining and what's happened from it, and it's saying, oh, we.

839
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:35,279
Speaker 4: Would have provided like you're saying, you have people coming

840
00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:36,480
Speaker 4: out to you saying I.

841
00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:37,600
Speaker 2: Found my spark at the kid.

842
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:39,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, you would have so many people that you have

843
00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:44,080
Speaker 4: like provided one entertainment and too like a new purpose

844
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:45,120
Speaker 4: in that in that moment.

845
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:46,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, and also just people.

846
00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:50,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just sort of I didn't take my cooking

847
00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:52,239
Speaker 3: for granted, but I didn't think that it would give

848
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:53,480
Speaker 3: what it gives people.

849
00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:55,000
Speaker 5: And that's what's really nice.

850
00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:57,520
Speaker 3: Like I got stopped on a flight recently and this

851
00:35:57,600 --> 00:36:00,879
Speaker 3: beautiful air hostess was like, hello, Sarah, and anyway said hello,

852
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:03,360
Speaker 3: and then as I was leaving the plane, she said, O,

853
00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:06,040
Speaker 3: my daughter during COVID was really sick with an eating

854
00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:07,359
Speaker 3: disorder and then we found you.

855
00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:09,040
Speaker 5: Oh my god, I'm almost about to get terry.

856
00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:11,879
Speaker 3: But she was like, and she's learned to eat really

857
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:14,480
Speaker 3: well again and she's got really healthy and she's now

858
00:36:14,680 --> 00:36:16,719
Speaker 3: one hundred percent. And I was just a bit like,

859
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:19,960
Speaker 3: oh wow, Like that's the thing, you know, I sort

860
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:22,360
Speaker 3: of think, you know, only nurses and doctors and stuff

861
00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:25,120
Speaker 3: like that and had that life changing kind of effect.

862
00:36:25,239 --> 00:36:27,520
Speaker 3: So it was just you know, things like that that

863
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:30,239
Speaker 3: are just like oh wow, you know, I really just

864
00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:31,520
Speaker 3: took my cooking for granted.

865
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:34,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, give you, yeah totally.

866
00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:36,680
Speaker 3: I just yeah left that plane. I was like, I

867
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:38,160
Speaker 3: feel a million bucks.

868
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:40,320
Speaker 1: My tea, please.

869
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:42,200
Speaker 3: Me take you O.

870
00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:45,280
Speaker 5: It was on the way out. She was just beautiful.

871
00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:48,760
Speaker 3: So yeah, it's yeah, lovely messages like that and feedback

872
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:50,160
Speaker 3: that you can You're like, oh wow, this is so

873
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:50,560
Speaker 3: worth it.

874
00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:53,719
Speaker 1: Coming from a guy who's only got about three recipes

875
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:56,600
Speaker 1: and his repertoire, where do you get your inspiration from

876
00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:58,239
Speaker 1: to keep coming up with new recipes.

877
00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:00,960
Speaker 3: I get uses all the time, actually, and I don't

878
00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:04,040
Speaker 3: have a really good answer. It's just I guess that

879
00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:08,240
Speaker 3: in a non arrogant way, is my skill, Like, it's.

880
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:09,920
Speaker 5: Just what I love to do. Often.

881
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:14,960
Speaker 3: I obviously love cookbooks, love cooking magazines, love cooking shows.

882
00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:18,280
Speaker 3: Online now is so amazing, you know that social media

883
00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:19,720
Speaker 3: and stuff like that for food creation.

884
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:22,000
Speaker 5: But I just can always.

885
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:23,759
Speaker 3: Come up with different recipes. It's what I really love

886
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:24,040
Speaker 3: to do.

887
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:26,399
Speaker 2: And it does help when you love doing it. Yeah,

888
00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:28,239
Speaker 2: it's hard to come up with things when you hate

889
00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:29,000
Speaker 2: doing it totally.

890
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,560
Speaker 3: And when it comes like my father in law, Gille

891
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:34,080
Speaker 3: the French Ship, He's always like says, yeah, I don't understand,

892
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:35,719
Speaker 3: Like how can you just keep coming up with them?

893
00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:38,160
Speaker 5: I'm like, they just appear in my brain.

894
00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:40,480
Speaker 3: I don't know, Like I'll see it an ingredient and

895
00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:42,080
Speaker 3: that and that, and I'll have a sort of idea

896
00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:44,959
Speaker 3: and then give it a go and sometimes it works

897
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:46,960
Speaker 3: sometimes most of the time, without sounding like a dick,

898
00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:50,840
Speaker 3: it works because I've done this all my life. But

899
00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:52,920
Speaker 3: that is just and that's the thing I often say.

900
00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:55,080
Speaker 3: I'm like, whatever, you guys do it, and you know

901
00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:57,279
Speaker 3: because people are like, wow, you're really good at I'm like,

902
00:37:57,320 --> 00:37:59,279
Speaker 3: but you're really good at what you do in your job.

903
00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:01,920
Speaker 3: It just so happens at Cooking is something that everyone

904
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:03,799
Speaker 3: has to do every day that they think that I'm

905
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:04,400
Speaker 3: really amazing.

906
00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:06,520
Speaker 5: But I'm like, it's actually just my skill.

907
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:08,600
Speaker 4: It is a skill to know what two things or

908
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:11,360
Speaker 4: what several things are going to be like when they're together.

909
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:17,560
Speaker 2: That's what rattles. I'm like, two okay, someone was like,

910
00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:19,880
Speaker 2: you put two things together. I don't know what's going

911
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:24,400
Speaker 2: there putting I'm thinking of the combinations. It's like who

912
00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:26,760
Speaker 2: would have known? Who is terrible?

913
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:28,799
Speaker 1: But it is a starving right now.

914
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:34,480
Speaker 4: Not everything's a joke about me, I think if I like,

915
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:37,520
Speaker 4: I think it's a big skill to be like, okay,

916
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:39,920
Speaker 4: well I know what though it's like honey and peanut butter,

917
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:40,880
Speaker 4: I know what that's going to taste like.

918
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:42,080
Speaker 2: But that's about it.

919
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:45,400
Speaker 3: Yes, It's like thinking of the combinations that are going

920
00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:48,520
Speaker 3: to work together is tricky, and it's you know.

921
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:53,360
Speaker 2: This is so fun to make jokes in my expense.

922
00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:59,640
Speaker 1: I would never How do you apply that skill to

923
00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:02,279
Speaker 1: their you're parenting like when you're trying to come up

924
00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:05,080
Speaker 1: with hacks to make eating easier with your own kids.

925
00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:08,839
Speaker 3: Yeah, look, hacks are interesting because I've got a lot

926
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:12,400
Speaker 3: of them, but I'm very careful to give you know,

927
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:14,359
Speaker 3: like try this with you three year old that's only

928
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:17,080
Speaker 3: eating you know, this and this and this, because it's

929
00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:18,320
Speaker 3: not always going to work.

930
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:19,600
Speaker 5: Like that's what's so hard.

931
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:21,680
Speaker 3: If there was an answer to pickie eaters, we would

932
00:39:21,719 --> 00:39:22,960
Speaker 3: know it by now and we.

933
00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:24,800
Speaker 5: Would be like, cool, got the answer.

934
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:27,040
Speaker 3: My child eats broccoli and capsicam and all of this

935
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:30,560
Speaker 3: stuff now. So it's my biggest one is I'm always

936
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:33,400
Speaker 3: like it starts with you, as annoying as that sounds,

937
00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:35,520
Speaker 3: but like you are the model to your child. So

938
00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:38,120
Speaker 3: it's like you need to be eating well. You need

939
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:40,799
Speaker 3: to be talking positively about food. And when I mean

940
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:44,640
Speaker 3: positively about food, it's not connecting it to weight, not

941
00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:46,799
Speaker 3: talking about good and bad foods, that kind of thing.

942
00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:49,600
Speaker 3: Because I feel like it's all ingrain from us from

943
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:53,320
Speaker 3: a very young age, our attitudes towards you know, different foods,

944
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:56,880
Speaker 3: and especially for females, that it can create such unhealthy

945
00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:59,160
Speaker 3: sort of you know, go down the path of eating

946
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:01,720
Speaker 3: disorders and all of that sort of jazz. It all

947
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:04,720
Speaker 3: starts from when they're a young child and the way.

948
00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:08,279
Speaker 5: We talk about it. But then yeah, different things. So

949
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:11,440
Speaker 5: I'm beas, oh, yeah, the Beije diet.

950
00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:15,560
Speaker 3: Beij Eaters just love everything white, and most parents would

951
00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:18,360
Speaker 3: be like, oh yeah, my child's been through that stage.

952
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:22,600
Speaker 3: So like white bread, white rice, pasta, chippies.

953
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:27,480
Speaker 2: Am is this my dying yes?

954
00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:30,279
Speaker 1: For those who like the beige foods, how can you

955
00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:31,840
Speaker 1: sneak in a couple of veggies?

956
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:35,640
Speaker 3: Yes, I always say, and I love veggies, but I'm like,

957
00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:39,839
Speaker 3: it's another annoying answer. It's a long haul game, so

958
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:42,000
Speaker 3: you're not going to get you quick fixed overnight. It's

959
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:45,120
Speaker 3: about patience and persistence, and it's sort of there's little

960
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:48,960
Speaker 3: things I do, so they'll always tend to like one veggie,

961
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:50,720
Speaker 3: Like you can pretty much say, oh, I know Peno

962
00:40:50,920 --> 00:40:54,239
Speaker 3: likes capsicm Little likes broccoli. So it's like serving them

963
00:40:54,320 --> 00:40:57,759
Speaker 3: new veggies alongside what you know that they like and

964
00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:00,200
Speaker 3: you know that they're going to eat, so it's not

965
00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:02,120
Speaker 3: forcing them to eat it. It's sort of like put

966
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:05,080
Speaker 3: it out and annoyingly. Research shows that it can take

967
00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:09,919
Speaker 3: fifteen to twenty exposures of ave a particular vegetable before

968
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:12,440
Speaker 3: they start eating it. And that's so annoying to hear

969
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:14,239
Speaker 3: his parents because you're just like, fuck.

970
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:17,120
Speaker 5: Like, getting dinner on the table is enough, Like, and then.

971
00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:19,200
Speaker 3: I've got to change up the ways to cook it

972
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:21,319
Speaker 3: and keep giving it even though she keeps throwing it

973
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:24,160
Speaker 3: on the floor and going yack like, but it's just

974
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:26,640
Speaker 3: a long haul game. So it is about serving it

975
00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:29,080
Speaker 3: next to familiar foods, changing it up the way that

976
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:31,439
Speaker 3: you cook it, you know, abon, pan, fry, microwave, whatever

977
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:34,560
Speaker 3: you want to do, but just sticking with it and

978
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:38,560
Speaker 3: you know, keep going over many many many years.

979
00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:42,200
Speaker 1: Fun because Marley she loves cook carrot Lala has to

980
00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:42,719
Speaker 1: have it raw.

981
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:46,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, And it's annoying when because all kids are different.

982
00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:48,799
Speaker 3: But that's like adults, right, So I'm always like, they're

983
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:51,439
Speaker 3: not trying to be annoying to you. They're not trying

984
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:55,759
Speaker 3: to be little assholes. It's just like sometimes but it's

985
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:58,720
Speaker 3: like most adults have preferences with what they do don't

986
00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:00,839
Speaker 3: and do like and I'm not saying if you do

987
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:03,120
Speaker 3: those sorts of things, they're gonna love every vegetable when

988
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:05,520
Speaker 3: they're older, it's just not the case because adults don't.

989
00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:07,719
Speaker 3: But it stead of is a way to kind of,

990
00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:10,320
Speaker 3: over years build those healthy habits.

991
00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:14,759
Speaker 4: It should be the chef's final test to change.

992
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:17,320
Speaker 2: I reckon that's the fine. You can't be chef unless

993
00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:17,799
Speaker 2: you could do that.

994
00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:19,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, because I feel like you said you've.

995
00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:25,400
Speaker 2: Got to fry it, steam its or take where's the

996
00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:26,279
Speaker 2: microwave come in?

997
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:29,920
Speaker 3: I do love a microwave. So many veggies have been

998
00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:30,879
Speaker 3: microwaved in our house.

999
00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:32,800
Speaker 5: Love it. There's nothing wrong with a microwave.

1000
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:35,040
Speaker 2: I'll take you cook veggies totally.

1001
00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:37,720
Speaker 3: But also it's like, have you ever had like colli

1002
00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:40,800
Speaker 3: cauliflower for example? Now I'm getting really into the nitty gritty,

1003
00:42:40,920 --> 00:42:42,960
Speaker 3: but just maybe not for a two year old or

1004
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:44,719
Speaker 3: three d because they're just gonna be like yuck. But

1005
00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:47,520
Speaker 3: have you ever had couliflower roasted with just olive oil

1006
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:48,480
Speaker 3: and pepper in the oven?

1007
00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:49,239
Speaker 1: Delicious?

1008
00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:57,640
Speaker 5: Delicious? Do it for me and let me know, Yeah

1009
00:42:57,719 --> 00:42:57,920
Speaker 5: that's what.

1010
00:42:58,280 --> 00:43:00,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is quite beige, but you change out the

1011
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:01,799
Speaker 3: way you cook it delicious.

1012
00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:02,200
Speaker 2: Okay.

1013
00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:03,960
Speaker 5: So it's just all those little things.

1014
00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:06,839
Speaker 3: And another really quick little tip I love to do

1015
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:08,640
Speaker 3: so when you get them home from like school or

1016
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:11,560
Speaker 3: daycare or kinder or whatever it is, and you're like, fuck,

1017
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:14,840
Speaker 3: they're starving, they're grumpy. I always like to and you

1018
00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:17,239
Speaker 3: know what they like. Don't put pressure on trying to

1019
00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:20,000
Speaker 3: expose them, like it is about exposure over many years.

1020
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:22,000
Speaker 3: But on a round of Tuesday night, just give them

1021
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:24,160
Speaker 3: what they like. But chop up a whole lot of

1022
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:28,880
Speaker 3: I always chop up carrot, salary, cucumber, capsicum. Put it

1023
00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:30,600
Speaker 3: on a plate while you're cooking dinner, and.

1024
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:32,480
Speaker 5: Don't put any pressure on it. That's the other thing.

1025
00:43:32,560 --> 00:43:34,479
Speaker 3: Just you're not sitting there saying eat three of those.

1026
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:36,800
Speaker 5: And usually when they're hungry.

1027
00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:38,000
Speaker 3: They'll just sort of pop it on the thing while

1028
00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:39,920
Speaker 3: they're dancing around or watching some TV.

1029
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:42,640
Speaker 5: Or playing and they'll sort of watch yeah, just.

1030
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:46,240
Speaker 3: Little eye and usually they'll have two or three pieces whatever,

1031
00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:48,480
Speaker 3: and you're like, great, now I don't have to pressure

1032
00:43:48,520 --> 00:43:49,920
Speaker 3: them at dinner time to eat their vegies.

1033
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:51,799
Speaker 2: I love the it's it's very good.

1034
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:54,719
Speaker 5: It's just like a non yeah. Takes the pressure off it.

1035
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:55,880
Speaker 2: I love it when it's like that.

1036
00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:58,439
Speaker 4: They're like, I'm hungry, have a carrot Like I don't

1037
00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:01,000
Speaker 4: like that, And I go, you must've been that hungry.

1038
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:03,839
Speaker 2: Then that gets them.

1039
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:06,080
Speaker 5: You just that just shut them up and can turn

1040
00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:07,320
Speaker 5: them into a good little child.

1041
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:14,840
Speaker 1: So one question we always end on when your girls

1042
00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:17,440
Speaker 1: are all grown up and they're no longer living at home,

1043
00:44:17,760 --> 00:44:19,319
Speaker 1: what is the one thing you would want them to

1044
00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:21,000
Speaker 1: remember about the house they grew up in?

1045
00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:24,680
Speaker 5: Oh god, this one will often get me emotional too.

1046
00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:31,240
Speaker 5: I think all lots of things, but fun.

1047
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:34,399
Speaker 3: I just think fun is I mean obviously loving and

1048
00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:39,120
Speaker 3: supportive and happy home. I think, you know, the relationship

1049
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:42,640
Speaker 3: you have with your partner is so important to show

1050
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:45,600
Speaker 3: children like as much as you can, because we all

1051
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:48,880
Speaker 3: have bad days, but a healthy relationship. So that me

1052
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:52,560
Speaker 3: with particularly having three females, so that they know what

1053
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:54,960
Speaker 3: to expect when they grow up and they have high

1054
00:44:55,080 --> 00:45:00,359
Speaker 3: standards for their partner boy or girl. But I think

1055
00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:04,480
Speaker 3: just joy and fun. I think, you know, dances. Sometimes

1056
00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:08,439
Speaker 3: Tom and I get into the you know, with having

1057
00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:10,480
Speaker 3: our own businesses and everything like that, you can be like,

1058
00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:13,240
Speaker 3: oh god, okay, tonight routine, like you know, Sunday night routine,

1059
00:45:13,239 --> 00:45:16,840
Speaker 3: get your clothes out to all that, And lately, especially lately,

1060
00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:18,959
Speaker 3: I've just sort of been like, oh, we just don't

1061
00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:20,600
Speaker 3: have to do that every night we can, and we

1062
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:22,799
Speaker 3: do dance a lot. Our girls love music, so we'll

1063
00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:24,239
Speaker 3: have it on for an hour every night, and we.

1064
00:45:24,280 --> 00:45:26,160
Speaker 5: Just are stupid and dance.

1065
00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:28,800
Speaker 3: So it's just I want them to remember that their household,

1066
00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:32,720
Speaker 3: their childhood household, was full of joy and fun and laughter.

1067
00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:34,880
Speaker 3: Laughter is so so important.

1068
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:36,279
Speaker 1: Can you feel guilty for being like?

1069
00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:39,880
Speaker 2: Find the balance?

1070
00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:44,239
Speaker 5: Can you please put your shoes on pedo? Can you

1071
00:45:44,239 --> 00:45:45,279
Speaker 5: please put your shoes on pedo?

1072
00:45:45,560 --> 00:45:49,000
Speaker 1: Every time? I'm holding something very special? It came in

1073
00:45:49,040 --> 00:45:51,160
Speaker 1: the male recently. This is your second cookbook?

1074
00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:54,120
Speaker 3: Yes, it is my second cookbook, Family Food.

1075
00:45:55,040 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 5: Sorry, you're going to ask a question.

1076
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:01,759
Speaker 1: Wondering, wondering are there any recipes in that book that

1077
00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:05,040
Speaker 1: maybe two novices myself and Ash giving in mind. We

1078
00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:06,320
Speaker 1: do have a bit of a sweet tooth.

1079
00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:07,840
Speaker 2: Yes, but we could cook.

1080
00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:09,600
Speaker 1: It's easy, it's simple.

1081
00:46:10,280 --> 00:46:11,280
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, I've got a couple.

1082
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:12,320
Speaker 1: Actually, what are you thinking?

1083
00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:13,879
Speaker 5: BROWNI has come to mind.

1084
00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:17,880
Speaker 3: But there's also one bowl blueberry and coconut like bread

1085
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:19,880
Speaker 3: loafing that you just throw it all into a bowl,

1086
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:22,759
Speaker 3: tip it into a tin, put it in the oven, and

1087
00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:23,960
Speaker 3: there you go.

1088
00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:25,880
Speaker 2: That sounds about It.

1089
00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:31,600
Speaker 3: Makes you sound really easy.

1090
00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:34,200
Speaker 1: Let's try and do that. We'll put it on our

1091
00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:36,640
Speaker 1: social So people do want to get that recipe.

1092
00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:37,520
Speaker 2: They'll get in the kitchen and cook.

1093
00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:39,640
Speaker 1: But if they do want to get their hands on

1094
00:46:39,719 --> 00:46:41,680
Speaker 1: family food, where should they pick one up from?

1095
00:46:41,719 --> 00:46:42,879
Speaker 5: So you can get them from all.

1096
00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:44,759
Speaker 3: I mean, you can just jump on my instagra and

1097
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:47,440
Speaker 3: it's in my biolink all the places you can buy it,

1098
00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:50,600
Speaker 3: but anywhere online, Amazon, you know, or anything doing such

1099
00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:55,040
Speaker 3: a good job totally what's the Lady and will of fortune.

1100
00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:59,480
Speaker 3: But also you know any stores. Target came up big

1101
00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:01,840
Speaker 3: w It's a beautiful I'm always if you go to Target,

1102
00:47:01,880 --> 00:47:05,279
Speaker 3: make sure you pay for it in your bag and

1103
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:05,759
Speaker 3: walk out.

1104
00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:07,359
Speaker 2: We'll also put a link to it in a show.

1105
00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:10,160
Speaker 3: And also small independent bookstores because I'm a big one

1106
00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:12,320
Speaker 3: for small businesses. So if you've got a local bookstore,

1107
00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:14,040
Speaker 3: definitely try and get it from there to.

1108
00:47:14,480 --> 00:47:15,279
Speaker 1: It well, thank you so much.

1109
00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:21,960
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm going to toss and throw.

1110
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:36,040
Speaker 4: And poor poor yeah.

1111
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:33,000
Speaker 2: Gosh.

1112
00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:35,600
Speaker 1: Before we go, we are going to do a recipe

1113
00:47:35,680 --> 00:47:39,680
Speaker 1: with Wholesome by Sarah. We have a delicious little blueberry

1114
00:47:40,600 --> 00:47:45,280
Speaker 1: bread cake. We're going to put that on our socials.

1115
00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:47,240
Speaker 1: But before we go, if you have enjoyed this episode.

1116
00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:52,120
Speaker 1: We would absolutely love it, love it to death, love

1117
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:56,520
Speaker 1: it with both hands, love it like a criminal would. Please,

1118
00:47:56,640 --> 00:48:00,400
Speaker 1: for the love of God, give us a review, just

1119
00:48:00,440 --> 00:48:01,400
Speaker 1: a couple of words.

1120
00:48:01,480 --> 00:48:02,359
Speaker 2: You're getting real big.

1121
00:48:02,560 --> 00:48:06,200
Speaker 6: I need well, I've been too light and the listeners

1122
00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:10,240
Speaker 6: they're not giving us the reviews threatening, they're just taking

1123
00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 6: the episodes and they're leaving us with nothing.

1124
00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:15,719
Speaker 1: Anyway, if you want to join us on socials, where

1125
00:48:15,719 --> 00:48:17,360
Speaker 1: can they find us? Matt had Two Doting Dads on

1126
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:20,560
Speaker 1: TikTok Instagram and there is a Facebook group also, not

1127
00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:23,040
Speaker 1: the guest episodes, but the Wednesday episodes. Full episodes are

1128
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:25,840
Speaker 1: now on YouTube and well.

1129
00:48:25,719 --> 00:48:27,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, well we'll go.

1130
00:48:27,080 --> 00:48:35,560
Speaker 1: Thank thank you, thank you, good Budy. Two Doting Dads

1131
00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:39,600
Speaker 1: podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and

1132
00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:42,080
Speaker 1: the connections to land, see and community.

1133
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:44,840
Speaker 4: We pay our respects to their elders past and present

1134
00:48:44,920 --> 00:48:47,919
Speaker 4: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and torrestraight onland

1135
00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:48,760
Speaker 4: the people's today,