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Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr

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Speaker 1: the Order KERNI Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before

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Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I

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Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land

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Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,

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Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through.

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Speaker 1: As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and

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Speaker 1: the storytelling of you to make a difference for today

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Speaker 1: and lasting impact for tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: Let's get into it.

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Speaker 3: She's on the Money.

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Speaker 4: She's on the Money.

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Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to She's on the the podcast for

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Speaker 2: the millennials who want financial freedom. I am super excited

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Speaker 2: about our guests for this week and I know you

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Speaker 2: guys are going to be two as she was highly requested. Honestly,

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Speaker 2: you were the most requested one. Don't tell anybody else.

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Speaker 5: Tory Dunlap is a money expert.

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Speaker 2: She is the CEO and founder of her First one

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Speaker 2: hundred K, a New York Times best selling author for

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Speaker 2: her book Financial Feminist, host of the number one podcast

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Speaker 2: for women in the US, Financial feminist, and because she

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Speaker 2: hasn't done enough, was named a.

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Speaker 5: Forbes thirty Under thirty.

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Speaker 2: Tory has centered her career around her passion for women

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Speaker 2: taking control of their finances. She wants to break down

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Speaker 2: the stigma around men overseeing finances in a household and

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Speaker 2: empower women to master their money and build a life

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Speaker 2: that they love.

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Speaker 5: Tory, Hi, welcome to She's on the Money.

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Speaker 3: Thank you for having me excited. How did it be here?

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Speaker 5: I am also so excited to have you.

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Speaker 2: Like we were just talking off air, like your technically Victoria.

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Speaker 2: I'm technically Victoria. My nickname is Tory. Your nickname is Tory.

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Speaker 2: My team were actually laughing because like, I also have

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Speaker 2: a podcast, you have a podcast. I wrote a book.

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Speaker 2: You wrote it.

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Speaker 3: You're the cooler version of me. You're the Australian horder

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Speaker 3: cooler version of me.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, if like that doesn't even count. But like

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Speaker 2: I'm like the small fish Australian version, and I'm always like.

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Speaker 5: Holy great, oh Tory, dumb laugh.

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Speaker 2: I'm so excited for this.

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Speaker 3: No, I have heard so many amazing things about your show.

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Speaker 3: Folks who listen to financial feminists also listened to Shees

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Speaker 3: on the money and vice versa. So I'm just really

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Speaker 3: excited to be here.

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Speaker 2: So me too. We had like a podcast deep dive

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Speaker 2: with a team from iHeart a little while ago, and

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Speaker 2: they did this thing called like podcast Neighborhoods, and they

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Speaker 2: like show you where your listeners live, like not physically,

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Speaker 2: but like in other podcast land and yours and mine had.

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Speaker 5: A really beautiful intersect. But when I put it out.

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Speaker 2: To the community, I was like, I'm going to the US.

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Speaker 2: Who do you want me to get into touch with?

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Speaker 2: Who do you want me to interview? And I shouldn't

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Speaker 2: have even bothered asking because ninety percent of the answers

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Speaker 2: were like, Tori done that her first one hundred K,

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Speaker 2: the girl who does financial feminist, And I was like,

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Speaker 2: they're all the same person. Guys have some diversity. But

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Speaker 2: to say my community are obsessed with you as an understatement,

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Speaker 2: So for those of you who maybe haven't heard of

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Speaker 2: her first one hundred k, why did you start it?

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Speaker 2: Tell me about you?

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Speaker 5: Who are you, what do you do? Why do you

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Speaker 5: do it?

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Speaker 2: My friend?

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Speaker 3: Sure? So I graduated college in twenty sixteen and I was,

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Speaker 3: you know, majored in marketing and theater, and the plan

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Speaker 3: was to work my way up the corporate ladder as

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Speaker 3: a social media marketer. I was gonna stop the pavement

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Speaker 3: and have a cute little briefcase and wear a pencil skirt.

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Speaker 3: And that's how I know it's a fantasy, is I've

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Speaker 3: never worn a pencil skirt in my.

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Speaker 5: Life, and they're so uncomfortable. As someone who has, you

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Speaker 5: don't want this, Oh they're terrible.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And that was the image I had for myself,

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Speaker 3: as I think a lot of women in their twenties do.

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Speaker 3: It's like, I'm going to take on the world, take

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Speaker 3: on this city. And then I got into my first

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Speaker 3: corporate job and was like, no, this is awful. I

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Speaker 3: don't want to do this. I don't want to make

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Speaker 3: some straight white man. I don't respect who's already rich,

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Speaker 3: even richer. I don't want to have to sit at

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Speaker 3: a desk, even if my work's already done. And it

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Speaker 3: was just like the rose colored goggles came off really quick.

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Speaker 3: Of course, we know in the United States that not

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Speaker 3: soon after I graduated college, we had a presidential election

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Speaker 3: that did not go I think as a lot of

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Speaker 3: us expected it to go. So I'm twenty two and

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Speaker 3: I'm coming into adulthood or really into womanhood in a

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Speaker 3: very different country than I expect, and I'm starting to

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Speaker 3: ask myself the kind of questions like, yeah, what kind

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Speaker 3: of person are you? What do you stand for? And honestly,

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Speaker 3: the election of Donald Trump kind of radicalized me. And

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Speaker 3: I was the friend all of my friends were coming

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Speaker 3: to for financial advice and guidance. I had a really

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Speaker 3: good financial education for my parents, and I just thought

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Speaker 3: that was normal because I didn't know anything different. I

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Speaker 3: thought everybody knows not to overspend on credit cards, everybody

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Speaker 3: knows how to save money, everybody knows how to navigate

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Speaker 3: this financial system. And of course I realized very quickly

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Speaker 3: that that wasn't the case, especially wasn't the case for women.

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Speaker 3: So I'm running this nine to five job in marketing,

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Speaker 3: and then I start a blog in twenty sixteen on

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Speaker 3: the side that later becomes her first hundred K. I'm

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Speaker 3: talking about money, educating women about money. I start doing

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Speaker 3: financial coaching, and then in twenty nineteen, based on the

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Speaker 3: name though, you know, her first hundred K was my

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Speaker 3: own hundred K journey, me attempting to save one hundred

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Speaker 3: thousand dollars at age twenty five, I successfully achieved that

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Speaker 3: goal about four years ago, almost to the day, went

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Speaker 3: to Europe to celebrate. I got the call for Good

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Speaker 3: Morning America to be on one of two very very big,

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Speaker 3: sexy like morning shows that are just like career making.

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Speaker 3: So got the call for GMA at a pub in London,

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Speaker 3: run Blue Home, did the interview, quit my job three

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Speaker 3: weeks later and have never looked back. And you did

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Speaker 3: the kind intro and bio of me. But we're now

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Speaker 3: a community of over four million people. We have a podcast,

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Speaker 3: we have a book. We fight the patriarchy by making

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Speaker 3: women rich. We have a team of fifteen people.

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Speaker 5: Fifteen people.

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Speaker 3: It's crazy and it's just my life's work. That's what

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Speaker 3: I believe I was put on this earth to do

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Speaker 3: is educate women about money, but also talk about how

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Speaker 3: money affects women differently. Because the truth is is like

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Speaker 3: I don't think we have any sort of equality for

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Speaker 3: any marginalized group until we have financial equality. And in addition,

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Speaker 3: a financial education in a capitalist, disenfranchised system, that is

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Speaker 3: your best form of protest is understanding money, having financial standing,

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Speaker 3: a financial foundation. That is the way we get ahead

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Speaker 3: as women. If you're a person of color, if you're

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Speaker 3: a member of the LGBTQ community, if you're disabled, like

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Speaker 3: if you're a member of a marginalized group, having money

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Speaker 3: means having choices, It means having freedom, and it means

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Speaker 3: that you get to show up in a disenfranchised system

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Speaker 3: as the fullest version of yourself and the fullest version

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Speaker 3: in your community. So that's what I believe I was

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Speaker 3: put on this earth to do is fight for women's

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Speaker 3: financial rights.

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Speaker 2: And the way you talk about it, I am a

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Speaker 2: thousand percent convinced you're not one person ever is going

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Speaker 2: to doubt that you are obviously insanely impressive. But one

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Speaker 2: question I really like asking people when I talk to them,

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Speaker 2: especially if I, you know, really admire what they do,

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Speaker 2: is are you proud of what you do?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 2: Have you had time to sit down and be like, damn, girl,

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Speaker 2: I did that? Like are you what does that look like?

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Speaker 3: I love that question. I will be honest with you,

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Speaker 3: and I imagine you feel very similar. It's always like

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Speaker 3: what's next, Like it's like, Okay, a cool I did that,

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Speaker 3: And then you know, I take maybe like an evening

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Speaker 3: or sometimes even a couple days, so like celebrate it.

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Speaker 3: But then I'm always like what's next, which I feel

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Speaker 3: like is not the healthiest thing to do.

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Speaker 2: No, but I can completely resonate with that, like I've

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Speaker 2: got stuff to do.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Like we got the New York Times, which like

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Speaker 3: I worked so hard for and our team works so

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Speaker 3: hard for. Like I don't think I've ever pushed myself

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Speaker 3: harder to get anything, and then I did it and

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Speaker 3: I felt so good. But like, your life doesn't change necessarily,

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Speaker 3: Like yes, you get to say like I'm a New

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Speaker 3: York Times bestseller, and like that is something I get

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Speaker 3: to say for the rest of my life. And like,

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Speaker 3: in theory, it increases book sales, but like my mom

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Speaker 3: literally called me and she was like, so like what

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Speaker 3: does that mean? And I'm like, I get a sticker

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Speaker 3: on the book, and like I get this like really

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Speaker 3: big accomplishment, But it doesn't like guarantee like you know,

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Speaker 3: more money or more opportunities. It's just kind of like

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Speaker 3: you have to find fulfillment for yourself. And I've learned

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Speaker 3: over the past couple of years, especially as like my

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Speaker 3: goalpost of success kept moving that I was like, oh,

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Speaker 3: unless I sit and be excited about all of this,

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Speaker 3: it's never going to feel like enough that was a

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Speaker 3: really philosophical answer. I love very easy question, but yes,

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Speaker 3: I feel very accomplished. I feel very accomplished of our team,

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Speaker 3: and most of all, as cheesy as it sounds like,

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Speaker 3: we get messages now probably every five minutes from a

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Speaker 3: woman somewhere that is, you know, I paid off my

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Speaker 3: credit card debt, I negotiated a twenty percent raise, I

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Speaker 3: just have my first one thousand dollars in my emergency fund.

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Speaker 3: You know the best part of it is it's always

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Speaker 3: a comma, and then after it's and I feel so

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Speaker 3: much more confident in every aspect of my life now,

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Speaker 3: And like that's the feeling I want for every single woman.

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Speaker 3: I want her to show up as her fullest version

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Speaker 3: of herself in any space, in any relationship, in any format,

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Speaker 3: because she doesn't have to say yes if she doesn't

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Speaker 3: want to say yes, and she doesn't have to say

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Speaker 3: no if she doesn't want to say no. And she

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Speaker 3: also can show up bigger in every aspect of her

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Speaker 3: life knowing that she's financially taken care of.

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Speaker 2: I'm so excited about that, like exactly the same, And

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Speaker 2: I feel like you and I are very on the

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Speaker 2: same page when it comes to that because in this space,

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Speaker 2: like you might do really cool things. And you said

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Speaker 2: your mum called you and said, what does that mean.

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Speaker 2: One of my family members called me and said, I

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Speaker 2: didn't realize you was so rich. When I got named

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Speaker 2: one of the Forbes thirty under thirty, because like they

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Speaker 2: didn't know enough about Forbes and they thought that I

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Speaker 2: was on the reach list, and I was like, I

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Speaker 2: wish I was on the racial list because obviously Forbes

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Speaker 2: is quite American and in Australia it's not as big.

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Speaker 2: So when I got named on that, I was like,

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Speaker 2: the this is a slave for me, but like, I'm

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Speaker 2: really sorry. It does not mean I am a trillionaire.

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Speaker 2: So sorry, but I really resonate with that. And I

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Speaker 2: think that in our space one of the reasons why

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Speaker 2: that happens is there.

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Speaker 5: Is still more work to do. There are still.

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Speaker 2: More women that aren't financially literate and deserve to be.

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Speaker 2: And I think you can't just look at one thing

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Speaker 2: and be like, oh, well I've made it. Well we haven't,

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Speaker 2: because like I would love to think and I'm sure

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Speaker 2: you're very similar, like my job will be done when

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Speaker 2: I am redundant, and people like Victoria why are you

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Speaker 2: talking about financial literacy? We all have financial literacy that

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Speaker 2: is so dumb. Like I would love people to think

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Speaker 2: that my job wasn't necessary, and I just think it

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Speaker 2: is so necessary because there are still people that need help,

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Speaker 2: and as you said before, all of those communities that

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Speaker 2: slip through the cracks, they need the voice that you have,

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Speaker 2: and you do it so well. Do you cry a

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Speaker 2: lot when you get those messages, because like I can't

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Speaker 2: deal with them.

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Speaker 3: It's very very kind. We got one, hmm, it's probably

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Speaker 3: about two months ago. Now we get so frequently. It's

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Speaker 3: just so kind. This one really hit me though. It

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Speaker 3: was like I am eighteen. I was houseless. It was

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Speaker 3: not even thinking about college for the first time. I

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Speaker 3: like have a roof over my head. I have like

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Speaker 3: something to live for, Like I can't even get through

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Speaker 3: without like getting a little choked out, but like I

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Speaker 3: have something to live for now. And I was just

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Speaker 3: like okay, like it was wolf, like wow, I love it.

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Speaker 3: That's why you do it. That one was especially just

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Speaker 3: like hit me where it hurts. But yeah, it's like

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Speaker 3: what I researched over and over for my book. And

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Speaker 3: I actually just got off another interview where we talked

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Speaker 3: about this is it's like there's so many aspects of

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Speaker 3: our world, like money aside, finance aside, that are just

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Speaker 3: so committed to women depriving themselves, depleting themselves, being the

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Speaker 3: like skeleton version of themselves in order for other people

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Speaker 3: to be comfortable. And I both mean that in an

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Speaker 3: altruistic way of like we sacrifice so much so that

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Speaker 3: other people can have it, but also like in the

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Speaker 3: more manipulative way, like women are shrinking or made to

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Speaker 3: be small so that the patriarchy can stand. And I

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Speaker 3: want a world where every single person, but especially every

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Speaker 3: single woman, has joy and pleasure and ease and stability

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Speaker 3: and safety. And that's what money can buy you. I

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Speaker 3: say this in my book, But like there's this narrative

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Speaker 3: that money can't buy you happiness. Like money can buy

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Speaker 3: you happiness, It can buy you all of those things.

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Speaker 3: It can buy you safety and a clean, safe apartment

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Speaker 3: and a good car that isn't going to break down

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Speaker 3: on you, and a vacation to recharge and escape from

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Speaker 3: a job that deprives you, like money can buy you happiness.

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Speaker 3: And these narratives exist to make you believe that you

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Speaker 3: are not worthy of all of the beautiful things in life,

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Speaker 3: all of the beautiful, joyful things. And in addition, when

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Speaker 3: you are stable and safe and content, you get to

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Speaker 3: then change the status quo and the narrative for everybody else.

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Speaker 3: This whole world exists in this patriarchal capitalist way to

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Speaker 3: deprive ourselves of any joy or again like limit the

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Speaker 3: fullest versions of ourselves to make other people comfortable, to

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Speaker 3: fit into society's version of ourselves. And these messages are

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Speaker 3: the coolest thing for me because again it shows it's

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Speaker 3: like when you get your financial shit together, everything else

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Speaker 3: opens up for you.

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Speaker 2: And that's what's most exciting because I look at you,

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Speaker 2: know you are massive on TikTok adore like the fact

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Speaker 2: that you show up so consistently, like girl Dad is

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Speaker 2: a fait in itself, Like I cannot. I am so envious.

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Speaker 2: When I look at your content, I'm like this woman,

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Speaker 2: she is committed.

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Speaker 3: Oh it's exhausting, but that's a whole other conversation.

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Speaker 2: Oh I can imagine. I do like one TikTok a month,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like over and out, babes bye. But what

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Speaker 2: you do so well is advocate for women but also

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Speaker 2: teach women to advocate for themselves. And there's a quote

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Speaker 2: that I love and I say all the time in

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Speaker 2: my community. In my community is so bored of me

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Speaker 2: saying it. But like a rising kidlifts soulships and you

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Speaker 2: do this so well. And I feel like for the

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Speaker 2: longest time, media committle aged white men have had their audacity,

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Speaker 2: and their audacity is meant that we don't have a voice,

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Speaker 2: and we don't have a place. And when we finally

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Speaker 2: realize that we probably should, we don't know how to

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Speaker 2: advocate for ourselves or stand up or even stand up

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Speaker 2: for those around us. Where do we start? What do

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Speaker 2: we do?

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Speaker 3: I think in terms of just personal finance in general,

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Speaker 3: there's a reason I laid my book out like this.

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Speaker 3: The first chapter my book, Financial Feminists, is about the

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Speaker 3: emotions of money, because a lot of our colleagues literally

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Speaker 3: just start with, like what's the budgeting method? Or like

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Speaker 3: learn how to set financial goals, and like those things

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Speaker 3: are helpful, but they can't happen until you do some

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Speaker 3: emotional unpacking, like money is not about math. I wish

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Speaker 3: more people understood this because again my not so conspiracy

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Speaker 3: conspiracy theory is that women have been told that money

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Speaker 3: is about math. But we were also told, at least

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Speaker 3: in the United States, growing up as women that like

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Speaker 3: girls were bad at math and that boys were good

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Speaker 3: at math.

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Speaker 2: Oh, of course women are the worst at math according

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Speaker 2: to our education system as well.

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Speaker 3: Right, So I think that's mostly a narrative that we're told.

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Speaker 3: And then we're also told that personal finance is about

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Speaker 3: like Excel spreadsheets and mathematical equations, and it's actually not.

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Speaker 3: It's about your emotions, it's about your psychology, it's about

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Speaker 3: how you feel. If you can understand what your brain

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Speaker 3: and body do before you make a purchase, if you

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Speaker 3: can understand what your brain and body do before making

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Speaker 3: some sort of financial decision, you can start to unpack

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Speaker 3: a lot of how to be better with money. But

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Speaker 3: only when you start to figure out this is my

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Speaker 3: mindset around money, This is what I've been believing about money,

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Speaker 3: Just like we were talking about before. One of the

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Speaker 3: narratives I talk about in the first chapter is it's

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Speaker 3: like you've been told that money can't buy you happiness.

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Speaker 3: You've also been told that you shouldn't talk about money.

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Speaker 3: Why have you been told you shouldn't talk about money

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Speaker 3: to keep you underpaid and overworked, Like that's it. That's

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Speaker 3: why we don't talk about money. We are more likely

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Speaker 3: statistically to talk about sex, death, politics, religion, any other

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Speaker 3: uncomfortable topic before we'll talk about money. And the reason

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Speaker 3: behind all of that is it's rooted in shame. It's

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Speaker 3: rooted in shame, it's rooted in fear, it's rooted in anxiety,

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Speaker 3: it's in judgment as opposed to, like I was saying before,

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Speaker 3: the joy and the stability and the ease and the safety.

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Speaker 3: So the first thing you really have to do is

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Speaker 3: you have to start understanding what narratives am I believing

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Speaker 3: about money? What narratives am I believing about the word rich?

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Speaker 3: What narratives am I believing about my ability to make

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Speaker 3: money or my ability to manage my money on my own?

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Speaker 3: And the exercise I give in the book is to

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Speaker 3: think about the first money memory you have. What is

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Speaker 3: the first time you remember thinking about money? For me,

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Speaker 3: I was a theater kid, right I was saving my

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Speaker 3: quarters in an Altoid's tin to like go see Annie

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Speaker 3: the musical because my mom taught me if I wanted

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Speaker 3: to go, I needed to save my money.

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Speaker 2: That's also such a wholesome musical to want to see.

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Speaker 3: It's so oh, I loved Annie. That was my dream

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Speaker 3: was so like being Annie someday.

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Speaker 5: So the altoids tan.

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Speaker 3: It got filled, Yes, it got filled. But here's the deal.

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Speaker 3: It was quarters and pennies and the ticket probably cost

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Speaker 3: twenty five bucks and I did not have that. My

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Speaker 3: parents were gonna pay the whole time. Like I was five,

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Speaker 3: I had no like earned income source. But I saved

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Speaker 3: my money because I wanted it right, And so I

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Speaker 3: was being taught by my parents, if you want something,

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Speaker 3: you have to say for it, and like, that's how

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Speaker 3: this goes. When I ask people what their first money

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Speaker 3: memory is, and I would love to hear yours, most

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Speaker 3: of them are not as positive. Right it is I

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Speaker 3: showed up at school and realized I didn't have enough

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Speaker 3: money for school lunch, or I saw my parents fight

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Speaker 3: about money, or my first money memory was realizing we

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Speaker 3: just didn't have any of it. And what sort of

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Speaker 3: beliefs then did you start to build around money based

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Speaker 3: on how your parents manage money, based on the behaviors

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Speaker 3: and the outlook of your childhood growing up? Right? I

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Speaker 3: had another person who told me, oh, well, you know,

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Speaker 3: we would go over to my friend's house and they

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Speaker 3: were really really rich, but they were terrible people, and

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Speaker 3: so I thought, rich people are terrible people, like people

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Speaker 3: who have money are bad people, Like money makes you

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Speaker 3: a bad person. So that's the start. And it's really

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Speaker 3: mess right, like feels like therapy like it's.

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Speaker 2: It does, and it's overwhelming because it means admitting something

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Speaker 2: about yourself.

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Speaker 5: We talk about it all the time in our community.

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Speaker 2: When I started my podcast, I literally started it because

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Speaker 2: I had a Facebook group and I really wanted the

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Speaker 2: information out there because people, as you know, they always

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Speaker 2: start with the first same few questions. And I was like,

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Speaker 2: you know what, if I just do twelve recordings, I

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Speaker 2: will have mastered it, Tori, I would have done it,

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Speaker 2: Like that's all I'll ever need. Five hundred episodes later,

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Speaker 2: I'm like still being.

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Speaker 5: Like, I still have more shit to talk about.

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Speaker 2: But my first episode was called money Stories, and you

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Speaker 2: need to understand where you came from and what your

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Speaker 2: money story is, what you think, you feel, you act,

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Speaker 2: you behave around money, because that wasn't your fault. Like

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Speaker 2: you grew up around money with these preconceived ideas of

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Speaker 2: how they worked and what they looked like. Because that's

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Speaker 2: what was ingrained in you and the second you realize

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Speaker 2: that that defines your current thought pattern. But the beautiful

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Speaker 2: thing about money stories is you can create your own

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Speaker 2: from here, like we can change it, we can do

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Speaker 2: whatever we want to do. Like that's my favorite thing.

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Speaker 2: And when I think about money, I had the very

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Speaker 2: beautiful experience of having a dad who was an accountant.

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Speaker 2: He loved telling us about money and budgeting and what

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Speaker 2: that meant. But also I was really bad with money

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Speaker 2: because sometimes even with the best support around you, you're

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Speaker 2: not ready to hear it.

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Speaker 5: Do you think I wanted my accountant dad to run

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Speaker 5: my first job?

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Speaker 2: I was like, why are you telling me?

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Speaker 3: Dad?

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Speaker 5: To save ten percent of my income always?

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Speaker 2: And then it'll compound over time. Ill, don't you realize

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Speaker 2: I have to go to the movies? Like, are you

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Speaker 2: not understanding that after school at four o'clock, the girls

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Speaker 2: from my school are going to go to McDonald's.

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Speaker 5: They're going to get some ice cream, then they're going

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Speaker 5: to walk to the movies.

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Speaker 2: I need to be involved in that, don't you understand?

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Speaker 2: So I feel like it's such a cool thing to

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Speaker 2: be able to reflect on it. But I think that

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Speaker 2: so many people they judge themselves and then define themselves

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Speaker 2: by what they thought a money belief and behavior was,

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Speaker 2: when in reality, like, if you have limiting beliefs about money,

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Speaker 2: we can fix them. But if you have them and

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Speaker 2: you hold on to them, we can't actually create the

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Speaker 2: life you deserve, Like you deserve so much more, like

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Speaker 2: and I feel like I just always want to scoop

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Speaker 2: up my community and be like, you deserve so much more,

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Speaker 2: and I want to give it to you.

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Speaker 5: But first you've got to take the first step, Like.

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Speaker 2: I can't pull your head out of the sand for you.

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Speaker 2: You've got to do it. How do we pull our

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Speaker 2: heads out of the sand? What do we do? Like,

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Speaker 2: you know, what's the first step for standing up and

436
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:36,040
Speaker 2: being like, no, actually, Tory, you're right, I do deserve more.

437
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,879
Speaker 2: How do we do that? Because I don't have or

438
00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:40,640
Speaker 2: I do, let's be honest. And I think you've got

439
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:42,879
Speaker 2: it too. I definitely have the audacity of a mediocre,

440
00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:45,520
Speaker 2: middle aged white man. And when I step into your

441
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:47,680
Speaker 2: shoes they fit really well and keep doing it.

442
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:50,840
Speaker 5: But how does everybody else do that? When that is

443
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:52,080
Speaker 5: really scary.

444
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:53,399
Speaker 3: It's really funny you say, pull your head out of

445
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:57,600
Speaker 3: the sand, because after chapter one. Chapter two is what

446
00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:00,600
Speaker 3: I call the Ostrich effects, which is your head in

447
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,280
Speaker 3: the sand, acting your problems don't exist.

448
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:03,360
Speaker 2: What is that a thing?

449
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:06,320
Speaker 5: To Ostridches bury their heads in this We don't have ostridges.

450
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:08,679
Speaker 3: Actually they don't. That's a whole other thing. But they

451
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:10,359
Speaker 3: were believed too, which is why we call it the

452
00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:12,560
Speaker 3: Ostrich effect. I actually do start I think chapter two

453
00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:16,159
Speaker 3: with facts about ostriches. I literally I'm like, Hi, before

454
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:17,880
Speaker 3: we get into the rest of this chapter, we're gonna

455
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:20,600
Speaker 3: talk about ostriches have two stomachs. Do you know that? No?

456
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:23,400
Speaker 3: I didn't something I learned researching my book. You think

457
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:26,199
Speaker 3: it's a finance book. Not it'st I'm here for it.

458
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:29,000
Speaker 3: I love animals and money. You was selling me on this.

459
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,320
Speaker 3: But yeah, actually that's a whole other thing. Because I

460
00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:34,320
Speaker 3: actually did google because I was curious do ostrich just

461
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:35,560
Speaker 3: bury their head in the sand, And there was like

462
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 3: this whole like academic article where it's like, for many

463
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:40,679
Speaker 3: many years I would believe to have buried the head,

464
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:43,320
Speaker 3: but that they actually don't anyway, so they call it

465
00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:45,639
Speaker 3: the Ostrich effect. At least in the United States with personal finance,

466
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:47,399
Speaker 3: it's like bury head in the sand, acting your problems

467
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:51,440
Speaker 3: don't exist. The good thing about that it temporarily feels

468
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:54,320
Speaker 3: good because you're just like I will handle that later.

469
00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:58,879
Speaker 3: Investing too complicated, I'll learn it later. Paint off my

470
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,400
Speaker 3: debt too foolish, shame and fear, and I don't want

471
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:03,120
Speaker 3: to log into my debt, so we'll do that later.

472
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:06,720
Speaker 3: We see this especially again in television shows. I mentioned

473
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:08,920
Speaker 3: this also in my book of like Nick from New

474
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:10,480
Speaker 3: Girl he has a you know, box of bills in

475
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,919
Speaker 3: his closet. Andy in April from Parks and Recreation have

476
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:15,000
Speaker 3: all of their bills frozen in a freezer like this

477
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:17,440
Speaker 3: is a very common trope because I think a lot

478
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:22,040
Speaker 3: of people deal with this, So the Ostrich effect totally normal.

479
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:26,199
Speaker 3: Because again, the narrative that you've been taught is shame

480
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:29,639
Speaker 3: shame about your money. You should feel ashamed of your

481
00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:32,480
Speaker 3: past choices. You should feel ashamed that you don't know

482
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:38,120
Speaker 3: more about money. And so rather than make a decision

483
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:40,680
Speaker 3: that might be wrong, we're going to make no decision

484
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:44,560
Speaker 3: at all. And I see this so many times with women.

485
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:47,480
Speaker 3: Is we get in this analysis paralysis. We feel like

486
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:49,960
Speaker 3: we need to make the perfect choice, so we either

487
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:55,600
Speaker 3: spend years researching because it gives us the feeling of

488
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:56,440
Speaker 3: doing something.

489
00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:58,960
Speaker 2: We're taking steps, right.

490
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:01,480
Speaker 3: It's like I just need to google this one more thing,

491
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:04,120
Speaker 3: and then when I've done that, I will make the decision.

492
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:06,639
Speaker 3: But then suddenly you're three hours into a Google rabbit hole.

493
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:09,960
Speaker 3: So the analysis paralysis is real. And then also again

494
00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:12,919
Speaker 3: just the shame. So the first thing we have to

495
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 3: do to actually like start doing actionable things about our

496
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:21,959
Speaker 3: money is get comfortable being uncomfortable. And again, this is

497
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:25,159
Speaker 3: not about math. It's about your emotions. It's about releasing

498
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:27,920
Speaker 3: any shame in judgment and saying, you know what, I'm

499
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:31,040
Speaker 3: going to look at this like I'm an anthropologist in

500
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:34,240
Speaker 3: my own life. Oh interesting, I bought that pair of

501
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:36,439
Speaker 3: shoes I didn't need and didn't want because I had

502
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:39,720
Speaker 3: a terrible day at work. Interesting. That's it. You are

503
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:44,440
Speaker 3: just observing your behavior and observing what's going on without

504
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:48,159
Speaker 3: any sort of emotion loaded into it. No judgment, no shame,

505
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:51,520
Speaker 3: no fear, no anxiety. Same thing with your debt. You're

506
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:54,560
Speaker 3: literally gonna start totaling your accounts. Where does the debt live,

507
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 3: what is the interest rate? How much debt do I have?

508
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:01,600
Speaker 3: You can do this for all of your credit cards,

509
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:05,000
Speaker 3: your student loans, your mortgage if you have one. That's

510
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,080
Speaker 3: a whole other conversation. I don't know how it is

511
00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:09,040
Speaker 3: in Australia. You can't buy a house here.

512
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:11,040
Speaker 2: Oh no, you can't buy a house here. I did

513
00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:14,080
Speaker 2: a presentation the other day, Tory. You would have heard

514
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:16,760
Speaker 2: of the like avocado fallacy right where, like.

515
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:17,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, the avocado test.

516
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:20,560
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, if you buy less avocado toast, you're gonna

517
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:22,000
Speaker 2: be able to afford a house. And I did this

518
00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:25,639
Speaker 2: like presentation at a university about like the property market.

519
00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:27,720
Speaker 2: And I was like, sit down, let's go back to

520
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:31,000
Speaker 2: nineteen seventy five. In nineteen seventy five, you could buy

521
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:34,000
Speaker 2: a house and it was worth four times your annual income.

522
00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:36,840
Speaker 2: Today in Australia, to buy a house it is twenty

523
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:40,840
Speaker 2: seven times your annual income. If our incomes had kept

524
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:44,680
Speaker 2: up with inflation in Australia, your average Australian income would

525
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:47,320
Speaker 2: be one hundred and sixty two thousand dollars. But it

526
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 2: is not, my friend, The average Australian income is sixty

527
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:51,960
Speaker 2: five thousand dollars. And you'all out here is thinking that

528
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:54,760
Speaker 2: we can buy property. We can't buy property.

529
00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:56,920
Speaker 5: Because the economy is cooked.

530
00:25:57,440 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 3: So the biggest thing is like starting to get comfortab

531
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,880
Speaker 3: being uncomfortable of listing out your debt, listing out if

532
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:06,400
Speaker 3: you do have savings, where does that live, and then

533
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:09,280
Speaker 3: you can start making a plan. We can't make a

534
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:11,280
Speaker 3: plan till we know the lay of the land. Yes

535
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:13,360
Speaker 3: I'm a poet, didn't even know it. But like we

536
00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:16,719
Speaker 3: can't start putting a budget together, we can't start setting

537
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:19,840
Speaker 3: goals until we've worked through our emotions number one and

538
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 3: started to understand that and started to understand the narratives

539
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:26,119
Speaker 3: we've been believing about money. And then two, we have

540
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:29,760
Speaker 3: to understand what is our current financial picture, even if

541
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:34,119
Speaker 3: it's messy, even if it's really anxiety inducing, because you

542
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:37,919
Speaker 3: can't start making steps forward until you know what's going on.

543
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:40,640
Speaker 3: So listing out your debts, listing out your accounts, listening

544
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:42,680
Speaker 3: out your interest rates if you don't know your interest rates,

545
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:45,080
Speaker 3: that's a great place to start start calling people. Look

546
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:48,280
Speaker 3: at your terms and conditions, Like, you have to understand

547
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 3: how all of this works before we can then start

548
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:52,199
Speaker 3: making decisions about it.

549
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:55,720
Speaker 2: I agree. I just feel like that's the most empowering

550
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:58,159
Speaker 2: thing you can do. And the second you start doing that,

551
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:01,280
Speaker 2: you get really inquisitive and you start looking at things

552
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:03,240
Speaker 2: and you start talking to your girlfriends, like you might

553
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:04,800
Speaker 2: be talking to your girlfriends or work about it, and

554
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:07,240
Speaker 2: you're like, oh, this is interesting, and you're right. It's

555
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:10,440
Speaker 2: picking up that piece and going no judgment, no shame,

556
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:13,320
Speaker 2: no anything, just going, well, that's interesting. Actually that really

557
00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:15,439
Speaker 2: helps me to understand a little bit more about me.

558
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:18,440
Speaker 2: And like, you're the best person to understand the most

559
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:20,480
Speaker 2: about you, and you deserve to know about you, So

560
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:24,240
Speaker 2: let's keep doing that. I feel like it's the same

561
00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:28,680
Speaker 2: and like everybody, even people like you, have probably gone

562
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:30,439
Speaker 2: through that. We're like far out. I didn't realize I

563
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:33,240
Speaker 2: made that money decision because of this emotion or this

564
00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:36,040
Speaker 2: outcome or how that works. And I think that by

565
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:39,920
Speaker 2: just talking about it, even just consuming content online, that's

566
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:42,800
Speaker 2: more relative. Like you don't have to go straight out

567
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,000
Speaker 2: and start talking about your income to people if that

568
00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:48,359
Speaker 2: makes you uncomfortable, like start small, but start stepping in

569
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:51,080
Speaker 2: the right direction, because money shouldn't be something that we

570
00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:54,720
Speaker 2: feel ashamed to talk about. I look at not just

571
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,919
Speaker 2: your content, but content of American creators, and I'm always

572
00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:00,639
Speaker 2: in awe because I'm always like, oh my gosh, the

573
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 2: confidence they have, like and the way that they often

574
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:08,280
Speaker 2: support each other is so crazy cool. And in Australia

575
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:11,240
Speaker 2: we have this thing called tall Poppy syndrome where you know,

576
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:15,479
Speaker 2: the second someone's really successful, they feel like, Okay, now

577
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:17,280
Speaker 2: we're going to cut you down. Like it's as though

578
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:19,480
Speaker 2: in Australia and I'm going to get in trouble for

579
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 2: saying this, but I also don't really care. It's almost

580
00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:24,240
Speaker 2: like people want you to do well, but they never

581
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 2: want you to do better than them, and the second

582
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:29,000
Speaker 2: that you look like you're doing better than them, well

583
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:31,879
Speaker 2: it's time to rip them to shreds Now. I have

584
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:35,080
Speaker 2: seen it time and time again in comment sections of

585
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:36,679
Speaker 2: people being like what would you know? How do you

586
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 2: do this? What does that look like? How do you,

587
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:43,960
Speaker 2: as a woman in a country like the USA deal

588
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:48,360
Speaker 2: with this? Because I feel like your political system, your

589
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:54,120
Speaker 2: you know everything system is working so hard against your success.

590
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 2: How does tall Poppy syndrome affect you? How are you

591
00:28:57,480 --> 00:29:00,520
Speaker 2: overcoming that? How do we seek inspiration? And from that

592
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:02,560
Speaker 2: it's like women supporting women, but then it's like the

593
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:06,120
Speaker 2: government against the women. How do you deal with this?

594
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 2: How do you still not go to sleep every night

595
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:09,400
Speaker 2: and cry.

596
00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 3: Y'all can't see me, but I'm literally like my neck

597
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:15,040
Speaker 3: is breaking from just like nodding my head emphatically. So

598
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 3: many things here. First, like we were talking about before

599
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:22,560
Speaker 3: society is built so that women hate themselves.

600
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 2: I mean that makes a lot of people a lot

601
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:27,160
Speaker 2: of money. So like this story checks out, we.

602
00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 3: Want to talk about just like the diet industry is

603
00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:32,680
Speaker 3: a multi billion dollar industry that's.

604
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:33,920
Speaker 5: A women's Roman empire.

605
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:37,720
Speaker 2: I'm convinced, oh totally, and is selling you on a

606
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:39,000
Speaker 2: complete myth.

607
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:42,320
Speaker 3: Diets don't work. We know this. Ninety eight ninety nine

608
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 3: percent of diets don't work because the more you tell

609
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:45,440
Speaker 3: me I can't have fried chicken, the more I want

610
00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:49,000
Speaker 3: fried chicken. Like that doesn't work. And deprivation does not work.

611
00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:52,120
Speaker 3: Like it's not about willpower, it's not about like how

612
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:55,840
Speaker 3: badly you want it, it's literal psychology. It does not work.

613
00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 3: And that's the perfect example of where sold this lie

614
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 3: that you need to be as thin as possible, you

615
00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:04,640
Speaker 3: need to take up the least amount of space possible

616
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 3: and hate yourself doing it. Cut out everything that brings

617
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:11,520
Speaker 3: you joy, cut out anything that makes you happy and

618
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:14,440
Speaker 3: deprive yourself in order to get this thing that you

619
00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 3: think you really want, but you don't want it. You've

620
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:19,520
Speaker 3: just been told you should want it. Perfect example of

621
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:22,600
Speaker 3: what's going on with every single industry, with every single

622
00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:26,480
Speaker 3: space is when you show up as the fullest version

623
00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:31,360
Speaker 3: of yourself, inevitably what happens is the patriarchy feels threatened

624
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 3: by you. Again, I'm gonna sound like a broken record.

625
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:36,360
Speaker 3: I talk about this in my book even in Childhood,

626
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:39,000
Speaker 3: like if we bring it really really far back. I

627
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:42,520
Speaker 3: did a lot of research around the sort of narratives

628
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:45,040
Speaker 3: or sort of like child rearing that we do. And

629
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:47,240
Speaker 3: I'm going to use the gender binary here for ease.

630
00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:51,000
Speaker 3: But like four boys and four girls, boys and even

631
00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:55,760
Speaker 3: the toys they are given are taught self reliance. They're

632
00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:59,920
Speaker 3: taught innovation, They're taught how to build right like Legos truck.

633
00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 3: These are what we give boys. We are telling them

634
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:07,520
Speaker 3: that their value to society is and how they're contributing

635
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:12,640
Speaker 3: in terms of their brains. Right, they're smart, they're again

636
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:17,440
Speaker 3: self actualized. How can you show up again? It's the

637
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:20,040
Speaker 3: biggest version of yourself And that's what we're teaching boys.

638
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:21,959
Speaker 3: What do we give girls.

639
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:24,640
Speaker 2: We give them toy ironing boards.

640
00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:26,840
Speaker 3: We give them dolls, we give them bridal veils, we

641
00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:29,960
Speaker 3: give them playhouses. Right, this is not me trying to

642
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:31,800
Speaker 3: cancel Barbie. I love the Barbie movie.

643
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:34,239
Speaker 2: No, no, we love Barbie. But we want Barbie and

644
00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:37,320
Speaker 2: the blocks so we can build the Barbie dreamhouse ourselves.

645
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:38,960
Speaker 5: Like, we're not canceling Barbie.

646
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:42,160
Speaker 2: Those things are fine, but stop telling me that I

647
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:44,680
Speaker 2: have to play house in a house that's already made,

648
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:47,040
Speaker 2: because there's no possible way I could have built that myself.

649
00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:50,480
Speaker 3: We give a two year old girl another child to

650
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:51,080
Speaker 3: take care of.

651
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:52,040
Speaker 2: That's gross.

652
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:56,720
Speaker 3: We are telling girls that their value is in how

653
00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 3: much they give of themselves. How altruistic are you? How

654
00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:03,280
Speaker 3: much are you sacrificing yourself to care for other people? Now,

655
00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:09,280
Speaker 3: I am really beautifully glad that women are taught selflessness.

656
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:11,680
Speaker 3: I am not mad about that. I think that's a

657
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:15,560
Speaker 3: beautiful trait. But the issue is that we're not teaching

658
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,880
Speaker 3: boys the same thing. So what happens as we age?

659
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:21,760
Speaker 3: What happens as we grow up and we start becoming

660
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:24,200
Speaker 3: more financially confident, we start showing up as the fullest

661
00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:27,120
Speaker 3: version of ourselves. We start talking about accomplishments. We start

662
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:30,080
Speaker 3: progressing in our careers and in our relationships and in

663
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:35,479
Speaker 3: our money, our altruism gets weaponized. There's a weaponization of

664
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:38,680
Speaker 3: the altruism that is taught to us because you're no

665
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:42,400
Speaker 3: longer controllable when you have money, when you have agency,

666
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:45,240
Speaker 3: when you have stability, you're no longer controllable. And the

667
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:47,160
Speaker 3: patriarchy panics. They go, We're not gonna be able to

668
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:49,680
Speaker 3: control her anymore. We're going to cut her down. We're

669
00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:54,880
Speaker 3: going to tell her, Actually, you bragging about your accomplishments

670
00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:59,440
Speaker 3: is really tacky. We're going to tell her that. M

671
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:03,000
Speaker 3: you know what. I don't know how much you spent

672
00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:05,120
Speaker 3: on that, but that feels like a waste of your

673
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,720
Speaker 3: money and it could have gone to these other things

674
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 3: that I'm deeming are a better use from a random

675
00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:15,840
Speaker 3: person on the internet. Right, the patriarchy tells you that

676
00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:21,240
Speaker 3: your altruism is the number one priority. Now this isn't

677
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:23,120
Speaker 3: pours your money and be selfish. I want to be

678
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:23,640
Speaker 3: so clear.

679
00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:26,760
Speaker 2: Oh no, absolutely not, None of that is true.

680
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:30,000
Speaker 3: I'm anti capitalist over here. It's not about that. But

681
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 3: it is so interesting that when women are successful, the

682
00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:40,520
Speaker 3: patriarchy panics, it weaponizes our altruism against us. But we

683
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:45,520
Speaker 3: absolutely worship men with money. We worship men with success.

684
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:49,520
Speaker 3: We worship men with good careers and Rolex watches and

685
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:52,280
Speaker 3: a nice suit like we worship that. And especially in

686
00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:56,600
Speaker 3: the United States and a very individualistic culture, we worship that.

687
00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:00,400
Speaker 3: So if you, as an individual are show gowing up

688
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:05,040
Speaker 3: as the fullest version of yourself and pissing people off, great, solid.

689
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:06,320
Speaker 5: And if they don't like it, you know what they

690
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 5: can do.

691
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:08,200
Speaker 2: They can go find less.

692
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:11,799
Speaker 3: If you are showing up in a relationship and a

693
00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:14,440
Speaker 3: person feels threatened, typically a man. If you're dating men,

694
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:17,839
Speaker 3: like that's not the person for you. If you are

695
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:21,279
Speaker 3: showing up at a job and they don't like that

696
00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:24,480
Speaker 3: you are succeeding, or that your coworkers don't like it,

697
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:28,319
Speaker 3: You're succeeding. Okay, great, too bad, Like the biggest thing

698
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:30,680
Speaker 3: we can do as individuals. Again, I mean it sounds

699
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:32,640
Speaker 3: like a broken record. We started this the same way,

700
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:35,960
Speaker 3: but like it's the fullest version of yourself. Is a

701
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:39,719
Speaker 3: form of protest against a system that constantly demands you

702
00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:44,439
Speaker 3: play small. So with tall poppy syndrome. I know because

703
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:46,200
Speaker 3: I have friends in Australia. I have friends in the UK.

704
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:50,880
Speaker 3: It's very very common there. It feels like almost gross

705
00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:54,800
Speaker 3: to be successful. It does because you're like so worried,

706
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:57,800
Speaker 3: like is everybody gonna hate me? It's like a bubble.

707
00:34:58,080 --> 00:34:59,760
Speaker 3: We have a bit of that here in the US.

708
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:04,000
Speaker 3: I think there's I think it's less. But I also like,

709
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:06,600
Speaker 3: as harsh as this sounds, if you don't have people

710
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:08,960
Speaker 3: in your life, if you're not in situations in your

711
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:12,600
Speaker 3: life that will celebrate you making choices that are right

712
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:16,560
Speaker 3: for you, get new friends. It sounds so bad.

713
00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:17,880
Speaker 2: No, that's great advice.

714
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:21,200
Speaker 3: Get new friends, get a new partner, get a new job, Like,

715
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:24,640
Speaker 3: as long as you are not hurting yourself or others.

716
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:28,800
Speaker 3: If your choices make you happy, great. If your choices

717
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:31,080
Speaker 3: make you happy but no one gets the fine. Oh

718
00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 3: I'm getting really philosophical today. I'm so sorry, But like

719
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:35,600
Speaker 3: I like this. The only person you have to answer

720
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:37,920
Speaker 3: to when your head hits the pillow, even if somebody's

721
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:39,960
Speaker 3: next to you on the other pillow, Like, the only

722
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:42,879
Speaker 3: person you have to answer to is you. So if

723
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:46,319
Speaker 3: your life doesn't fight you on fire, time to get

724
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 3: a new life, Like, time to get a new one.

725
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:52,960
Speaker 2: It's true, like you deserve so much more, So go

726
00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:55,440
Speaker 2: and get it because it's there for the taking with

727
00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:57,800
Speaker 2: the right education and the right steps and the right people.

728
00:35:57,840 --> 00:35:59,919
Speaker 2: And I always say to my community, if your friends

729
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 2: munchampioning you, I will champion you. I will be that

730
00:36:03,239 --> 00:36:05,799
Speaker 2: person that tells you to go find more, because your

731
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:08,480
Speaker 2: friends they deserve less if they're going to be like that.

732
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:12,880
Speaker 3: I will also say, with all of this, this is

733
00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:18,840
Speaker 3: only able to happen for the things we can control.

734
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:22,879
Speaker 3: This is what my book acknowledges, what my podcast acknowledges. Yes,

735
00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:24,919
Speaker 3: I can tell you like, go live your best life,

736
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:26,640
Speaker 3: live your big dreams. But at the end of the day,

737
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:30,840
Speaker 3: there is racism and sexism and homophobia and ableism, and

738
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:33,880
Speaker 3: a trillion dollar student death crisis and stagnating minimum wages

739
00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:35,759
Speaker 3: in this country, a lack of paid family leave and

740
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:38,960
Speaker 3: all of these things. So it has to be coupled

741
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 3: with systemic change, like control the things that you can control,

742
00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 3: show up as the best version of yourself. Get financially educated,

743
00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:49,400
Speaker 3: Understand how to put a budget together that supports your goals.

744
00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:51,920
Speaker 3: Understand how to start investing so you can build your wealth.

745
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:54,680
Speaker 3: Do what you can to find a good paying job

746
00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:58,200
Speaker 3: that doesn't deplete you, and that gives you flexibility and options.

747
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:01,040
Speaker 3: But at the end of the day, personal finance is

748
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:04,399
Speaker 3: about twenty percent those things in eighty percent circumstances. It's

749
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:08,359
Speaker 3: about eighty percent systemic issues. And that's where we need

750
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:12,759
Speaker 3: government support, policy, change a new system, control the things

751
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:15,239
Speaker 3: you can control, and then all of the rest of

752
00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:18,600
Speaker 3: this has to change in order for us to live

753
00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:23,680
Speaker 3: in a more pleasurable, more safe, more equitable society. And

754
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:26,400
Speaker 3: I always when I do, you know, talk about like

755
00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:29,040
Speaker 3: making changes in your life, I always want to acknowledge

756
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,360
Speaker 3: for the person that's listening, and I know you. I

757
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:34,960
Speaker 3: can see you. You're like with your headphones going like okay,

758
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 3: that's great, but like I don't make shit at work,

759
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:39,919
Speaker 3: or you know, I've tried and I can't pay off

760
00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:42,200
Speaker 3: my debt because I don't make enough money. So know

761
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:46,080
Speaker 3: that I see you and that I understand that at

762
00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:49,319
Speaker 3: a certain point, choices are not available to you if

763
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:52,600
Speaker 3: you don't have the financial means to do so. I

764
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:54,360
Speaker 3: don't have an answer. The answer is to vote. The

765
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:56,720
Speaker 3: answer is to change policy. The answer is to support

766
00:37:57,040 --> 00:38:01,040
Speaker 3: legislators and legislation you want to see but beyond that, again,

767
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:04,200
Speaker 3: you and I I think work to focus people on

768
00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:07,440
Speaker 3: controlling the things that they can control and then changing

769
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:08,800
Speaker 3: the rest of it for everybody else.

770
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:10,759
Speaker 2: One hundred percent. Like we'll do the big stuff if

771
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:12,560
Speaker 2: we can, Like we'll use our voices to do that.

772
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:14,360
Speaker 2: You don't have to do that, you can take the

773
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:17,120
Speaker 2: small steps. Tory, I think we should run off for

774
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:21,080
Speaker 2: a very quick break because I need a tea. But

775
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:23,959
Speaker 2: also when we come back, I want to talk about

776
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:26,920
Speaker 2: overcoming those barriers a bit more and building some confidence

777
00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:29,640
Speaker 2: to stand up for yourself. So guys, don't go anywhere.

778
00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:37,320
Speaker 2: I am back with Tory, who is from her first

779
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:40,359
Speaker 2: one hundred K, and we have been what would you say,

780
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:45,080
Speaker 2: passionately chatting about our experiences as women in finance, and

781
00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:47,960
Speaker 2: I think it is beautiful to touch pace on I

782
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,520
Speaker 2: guess how people can combat it. I really liked what

783
00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:53,080
Speaker 2: you said at the end of the first break that

784
00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:55,920
Speaker 2: you know, we do see that it's struggle, and we

785
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,600
Speaker 2: do see that it is really hard. And sometimes you

786
00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:01,080
Speaker 2: listen to stuff, especially cuss like this, and you're like,

787
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:02,960
Speaker 2: I want to just throw my phone in the bin

788
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:06,000
Speaker 2: because I picked up this podcast and I just feel

789
00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:09,160
Speaker 2: like I can't achieve a lot because the world works

790
00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:11,960
Speaker 2: against you in a way. I follow you on TikTok.

791
00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:14,680
Speaker 2: I love your content. I don't think that is a surprise.

792
00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:17,240
Speaker 2: You probably see my posts all the time and basically

793
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:20,680
Speaker 2: like louder amen, like I'm just hanging out in the

794
00:39:20,719 --> 00:39:23,799
Speaker 2: back while also not posting my own content, Like I'm

795
00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:26,719
Speaker 2: just your personal hyt girl at this point. But you

796
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:29,680
Speaker 2: did a TikTok the other day and you were recently

797
00:39:29,719 --> 00:39:34,480
Speaker 2: asked after talking about being get these New York Times

798
00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:37,480
Speaker 2: bestseller You're like a Forbes thirty under thirty. You're doing

799
00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:41,080
Speaker 2: all this and the audacity of a guy to stand

800
00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:43,120
Speaker 2: up to say, what were your credentials?

801
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:43,960
Speaker 3: Ah?

802
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:46,280
Speaker 5: Like, I nearly threw my phone at the wall.

803
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:50,520
Speaker 2: Why do you think that question is asked of somebody

804
00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:56,920
Speaker 2: who quite clearly is incredibly articulate and passionate and obviously educated.

805
00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:59,319
Speaker 2: You don't have to ask about credentials because I can

806
00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:02,760
Speaker 2: tell that you I know your shit, But like, why

807
00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:06,440
Speaker 2: will you ask that? And when other women are asked that,

808
00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:10,800
Speaker 2: how should we respond when our authority in our space

809
00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:12,719
Speaker 2: is questioned?

810
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:15,680
Speaker 3: You will appreciate this not to go to in the weeds.

811
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 3: I was speaking to a bunch of financial advisors.

812
00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:18,839
Speaker 2: No, you weren't, dah.

813
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:22,320
Speaker 3: It was a lot of like, how is this TikTok

814
00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 3: social media star qualified to like give financial advice?

815
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:29,279
Speaker 2: So weird? I know more than you bye.

816
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:33,239
Speaker 3: And they also meant like regulation and like basically was

817
00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:35,920
Speaker 3: asking like do you have a degree in finance? This

818
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:38,160
Speaker 3: is again a larger conversation in the weeds, but like

819
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:40,520
Speaker 3: in the United States, there's certain things that you can't

820
00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:42,800
Speaker 3: say if you have like a CFP, a certified financial

821
00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:44,920
Speaker 3: planner like license or degree, and there's certain things you

822
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:47,560
Speaker 3: can't say. So again, that didn't make us sexy of

823
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:50,319
Speaker 3: a TikTok, but someone did come up to me. I'm like,

824
00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:53,080
Speaker 3: keynoting this massive conference. I got paid twenty five k

825
00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:58,280
Speaker 3: to be there. Holy Holy, I am literally signing copies

826
00:40:58,280 --> 00:40:59,960
Speaker 3: of my New York Times bestselling book. And he's like,

827
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:01,879
Speaker 3: it was really interesting what you had to say, which

828
00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:02,799
Speaker 3: is always what men say to.

829
00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:04,640
Speaker 2: Really interesting what you had to say.

830
00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:07,560
Speaker 3: And then he was like, so, basically, how are you

831
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:10,399
Speaker 3: able to do what you do? What are your credentials? Yeah?

832
00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:12,600
Speaker 3: The irony is yeah, I literally have a book open

833
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:14,440
Speaker 3: in front of me and I'm signing my name on it.

834
00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:17,839
Speaker 3: I'm just like, here you go. I'm doing just fine, sir.

835
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:19,960
Speaker 5: Well, so don't ask a question you could have googled.

836
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,359
Speaker 5: It makes you look really dumb.

837
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:24,400
Speaker 3: Really, it's just bad. But like I get TikTok comments

838
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:26,640
Speaker 3: all the time of like, oh, if you're a millionaire,

839
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:28,960
Speaker 3: you're not because you don't look rich, like men tell

840
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:31,239
Speaker 3: me like you don't look rich, or your hair's bad,

841
00:41:31,719 --> 00:41:33,920
Speaker 3: or like if you were a millionaire, you'd live in

842
00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:35,000
Speaker 3: a better house than that.

843
00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:38,399
Speaker 2: So what you are seeing is that living my life

844
00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:40,880
Speaker 2: in a hoodie is a privilege. Get out of your

845
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:42,320
Speaker 2: uncomfortable pencil skirt.

846
00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:45,040
Speaker 3: I wore an Australian hoodie for you today. I bought

847
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:46,719
Speaker 3: this actually in a New Zealand. I'm so sorry, but

848
00:41:46,719 --> 00:41:48,200
Speaker 3: it is an Australian brand and I love it.

849
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:48,840
Speaker 2: I love this.

850
00:41:49,120 --> 00:41:50,759
Speaker 5: I'll send you one of our She's on the Money

851
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:52,320
Speaker 5: hoodies you need much?

852
00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:54,759
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I would love that. So yeah, I

853
00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:57,239
Speaker 3: think that this is back to our conversation about like

854
00:41:57,800 --> 00:42:01,960
Speaker 3: women playing big in a space patriarchy feel bad, like

855
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:04,960
Speaker 3: weaponize altruism, Like that's what's happening. Woman shows up as

856
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:09,480
Speaker 3: fullest version of herself patriarchy, panics because realizes she's no

857
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:12,440
Speaker 3: longer controllable, tries to cut you down. Now, you have

858
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:17,200
Speaker 3: two potential responses. One, which is totally understandable, is to

859
00:42:17,239 --> 00:42:20,000
Speaker 3: be like, holy shit, am I not qualified to be here?

860
00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:22,319
Speaker 3: Am I not qualified to have this job? Am I

861
00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:25,160
Speaker 3: not qualified to show up and speak at this event?

862
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:28,680
Speaker 3: Am I not qualified to do these things? Or do

863
00:42:28,719 --> 00:42:31,280
Speaker 3: I not say my accomplishments for fear of pissing somebody

864
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:35,319
Speaker 3: else off? That is totally understandable, But that is not

865
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:36,080
Speaker 3: the right answer.

866
00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:37,480
Speaker 5: It's the wrong answer.

867
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:41,160
Speaker 3: The second answer is to show up anyway and understand

868
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:42,920
Speaker 3: that the girls that get it get it, and the

869
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 3: girls that don't don't. Like there will be people who

870
00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:48,760
Speaker 3: don't understand what you do, and that's okay. It's okay.

871
00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:50,480
Speaker 3: And I think, especially as a business owner, this is

872
00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:52,920
Speaker 3: actually advice I give to a lot of business owners

873
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:54,719
Speaker 3: or people who want to be business owners. Is we

874
00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:57,200
Speaker 3: feel like we have to appeal to everybody. We feel

875
00:42:57,200 --> 00:43:00,319
Speaker 3: like we have to serve everybody because everybody it's our

876
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:03,279
Speaker 3: potential customer, and like we really want to make sure

877
00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:05,120
Speaker 3: that we get the money and get clients in order

878
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:08,160
Speaker 3: to like support this business. And again you can translate

879
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:09,920
Speaker 3: this even if you're not a business owner. I want

880
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:12,480
Speaker 3: to make sure that nobody hates me, right, like I

881
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:14,920
Speaker 3: want to make sure that everybody likes me and that

882
00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:18,880
Speaker 3: everything's great. And we know this I'm adding myself to

883
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:20,520
Speaker 3: because I am a Leslie. Nope, I want to be

884
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:23,400
Speaker 3: liked by everybody, like even I have to remind myself

885
00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:27,400
Speaker 3: of this. Even if you try to be liked by everybody,

886
00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:30,359
Speaker 3: Like if you were the best person for the job

887
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:32,400
Speaker 3: of trying to be liked by everybody, somebody out there

888
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:35,720
Speaker 3: would still not like you. So you have to again

889
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:37,600
Speaker 3: understand that the only person you have to answer to

890
00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:39,640
Speaker 3: is you. The only person you have to answer to

891
00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:44,240
Speaker 3: with your choices and your decisions is you. And if

892
00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:48,160
Speaker 3: there are certain people that don't get what you're trying

893
00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:52,759
Speaker 3: to do, that's okay. Like this lovely man who was

894
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:55,200
Speaker 3: probably about sixty years old and was a straight white

895
00:43:55,280 --> 00:43:58,719
Speaker 3: guy asking me like, I think he meant it very

896
00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:03,120
Speaker 3: well intentionally, but he doesn't understand how it comes across.

897
00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:06,400
Speaker 3: He's not my audience, and that's okay. He's not the

898
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:08,799
Speaker 3: people I'm trying to appeal to. He doesn't get it.

899
00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:10,439
Speaker 3: The girls that get it, get it, and the girls

900
00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:13,239
Speaker 3: that don't don't and that's okay. But again, this is

901
00:44:13,280 --> 00:44:16,000
Speaker 3: back to if we show up as the fullest versions

902
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:20,080
Speaker 3: of ourselves the patriarchy, and by patriarchy I sometimes mean men,

903
00:44:20,200 --> 00:44:23,680
Speaker 3: but what I mean really is like the deeply rooted

904
00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:28,719
Speaker 3: notion or narrative that someone else's success means some sort

905
00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:31,920
Speaker 3: of threat to us. This like narrative that we've been

906
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:34,680
Speaker 3: told that there's one seat at the table, or that

907
00:44:34,719 --> 00:44:37,520
Speaker 3: if somebody else is succeeding, it means I can't also succeed.

908
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:41,399
Speaker 3: Or it also feels like a call out. Sometimes if

909
00:44:41,640 --> 00:44:45,440
Speaker 3: you know you're capable of greatness, whatever greatness looks like

910
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:48,040
Speaker 3: for you, and somebody else is doing great things, it

911
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:50,480
Speaker 3: can feel like this mirror where you're like, holy shit,

912
00:44:51,160 --> 00:44:53,120
Speaker 3: this person has that, why don't I have that? And

913
00:44:53,160 --> 00:44:56,319
Speaker 3: then again you have a choice. You have the opportunity

914
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:58,800
Speaker 3: to either go, wow, I'm gonna use this person in

915
00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:01,799
Speaker 3: their story as inspiration for me to motivate me. Or

916
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:04,680
Speaker 3: you can be mean on the internet. You can ask, well,

917
00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:07,759
Speaker 3: what is the reason that I don't like them? What

918
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:12,000
Speaker 3: is the thing I can find that again devalues them,

919
00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:15,480
Speaker 3: devalues their experience makes them look small. So yeah, I

920
00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:18,000
Speaker 3: mean all roads lead back to patriarchy, oh.

921
00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:20,080
Speaker 5: One hundred percent. And isn't that frustrating?

922
00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:24,759
Speaker 2: Like I have had my authority questioned multiple times, especially

923
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:28,319
Speaker 2: as an Australian, and I am in the really fun

924
00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:30,880
Speaker 2: position where I do get to snap back because I

925
00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:34,160
Speaker 2: was a financial advisor. I'm now a retired financial advisor.

926
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:35,799
Speaker 2: And I don't just have one degree. I got a

927
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:37,600
Speaker 2: whole bunch of them, and I have an MBA, So

928
00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:40,440
Speaker 2: sit the hell down. It's like, you know when they

929
00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:42,839
Speaker 2: always say, like you learn more on the job, Like

930
00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:45,640
Speaker 2: I learned more about finance and personal finance and the

931
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:48,320
Speaker 2: things that are important to my community, not through my degrees.

932
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:49,400
Speaker 5: To me, they mean nothing.

933
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:51,120
Speaker 2: In fact, I look at them and I go, that

934
00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:52,800
Speaker 2: was a whole heap of debt that I got myself

935
00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:55,319
Speaker 2: into to get to a position that I arguably was

936
00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:58,160
Speaker 2: already passionate about, already excited about, and could have just

937
00:45:58,280 --> 00:46:01,720
Speaker 2: learnt more on the job. So to me, they didn't

938
00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:04,400
Speaker 2: make me, They didn't help me. They might make a

939
00:46:04,440 --> 00:46:07,080
Speaker 2: mediocre middle aged white man shut the hell up. And

940
00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:10,840
Speaker 2: that's good for a hot second. But I just feel

941
00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:14,160
Speaker 2: like having your authority questioned, I love it, do you

942
00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:16,600
Speaker 2: know why? Because it means they're a little bit uncomfortable,

943
00:46:16,680 --> 00:46:20,120
Speaker 2: and I love making men uncomfortable. It is my favorite.

944
00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:22,160
Speaker 2: And I also then like to drop back and I

945
00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:23,960
Speaker 2: think that you'll get a laugh out of this. But like,

946
00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:26,799
Speaker 2: if people like to question me, I like to act

947
00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:28,640
Speaker 2: really dumb and be like, oh, what do you mean

948
00:46:30,080 --> 00:46:32,480
Speaker 2: and get them to explain themselves or I go, oh

949
00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:34,880
Speaker 2: my gosh, so sorry. I'm the worst at picking up

950
00:46:34,880 --> 00:46:37,320
Speaker 2: on tone. Was that meant to be helpful or harmful?

951
00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:38,879
Speaker 3: Yeah?

952
00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:40,520
Speaker 5: Make them dig their own grave.

953
00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:44,359
Speaker 3: My favorite question to like men being stupid is just.

954
00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:46,960
Speaker 5: Tell me more about that, And then they can't.

955
00:46:47,239 --> 00:46:48,479
Speaker 3: I ask men that all the time.

956
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:51,000
Speaker 5: Tell me more about that, tell me a story.

957
00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:53,120
Speaker 3: Very like level headed. But I'll give them this kind

958
00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:54,320
Speaker 3: of look. I'll tell my hat a little bit and

959
00:46:54,320 --> 00:46:57,080
Speaker 3: more like, tell me more about that, and they always

960
00:46:57,080 --> 00:47:00,800
Speaker 3: back check. They're like, oh, well, this thing my favorite.

961
00:47:01,280 --> 00:47:03,439
Speaker 3: Oh me too, And this is a larger conversation about

962
00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:06,440
Speaker 3: imposter syndrome. Like, I'll tell you a story. I can

963
00:47:06,520 --> 00:47:09,000
Speaker 3: remember the last time I ever felt like an impostor.

964
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:11,600
Speaker 3: It was twenty nineteen. Her first under k was still

965
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:14,200
Speaker 3: a side hustle. It was one of like my first

966
00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:17,480
Speaker 3: like big speaking engagements. It felt really big at the time.

967
00:47:17,520 --> 00:47:19,200
Speaker 3: It was maybe like a crowd of forty people.

968
00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:22,040
Speaker 2: That's a lot of people, like at the end of

969
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:22,719
Speaker 2: the day, Like.

970
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:25,759
Speaker 3: Especially at the start, it was very significant.

971
00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:28,400
Speaker 2: Now, let's just reframe these twenty five k for your

972
00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:31,000
Speaker 2: last engagement, like queen get it.

973
00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:34,319
Speaker 3: So yeah, I was on this panel with I think

974
00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:36,399
Speaker 3: three or four other people. I was the youngest person

975
00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:38,920
Speaker 3: on that panel by at least a decade. Speaking of

976
00:47:38,960 --> 00:47:41,319
Speaker 3: the pencil skirts, Like they had the blazers, they had

977
00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:44,960
Speaker 3: the pencil skirts, they had the financial licenses, and one

978
00:47:45,080 --> 00:47:47,640
Speaker 3: was a CFP and like one you know, was a

979
00:47:47,719 --> 00:47:50,000
Speaker 3: venture capitalist. And I'm showing up in this room and

980
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:54,080
Speaker 3: I remember thinking, oh, I'm maybe not supposed to be here.

981
00:47:54,320 --> 00:47:57,800
Speaker 3: Like I had my Adidas on for a really long time.

982
00:47:57,920 --> 00:48:00,200
Speaker 3: I had like the signature leather jacket that I war

983
00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:01,960
Speaker 3: for everything, Like that's what I had on.

984
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:04,040
Speaker 5: I love these I love it so much.

985
00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:06,960
Speaker 3: And I you know, it was twenty four and was

986
00:48:07,080 --> 00:48:09,640
Speaker 3: just like, this is gonna be interesting. They're way more

987
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:12,280
Speaker 3: qualified than I am. Their resumes are way longer than mine.

988
00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:15,720
Speaker 3: What am I doing here? And as we got started,

989
00:48:16,440 --> 00:48:18,880
Speaker 3: I started looking out into the audience and it was

990
00:48:18,920 --> 00:48:20,440
Speaker 3: all women in their twenties and thirties.

991
00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:22,560
Speaker 2: They lived for you, my friend, right.

992
00:48:23,120 --> 00:48:26,680
Speaker 3: They looked like me, they were dressed like me. And

993
00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:28,759
Speaker 3: I turned, you know, to these very smart people who

994
00:48:28,760 --> 00:48:31,280
Speaker 3: were very kind and very intelligent, very good at their jobs.

995
00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:35,200
Speaker 3: But literally one of them started saying words like acid

996
00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:40,040
Speaker 3: allocation and portfolio diversifying. It was almost comical. I saw

997
00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:43,640
Speaker 3: every single woman just her eyes glazed over. Of course

998
00:48:43,680 --> 00:48:48,160
Speaker 3: not because she's stupid, it's just it's jargony stuff that like,

999
00:48:49,040 --> 00:48:51,200
Speaker 3: because they had been in the industry for so long,

1000
00:48:51,239 --> 00:48:53,080
Speaker 3: they just took as like everybody knows this.

1001
00:48:53,440 --> 00:48:53,680
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1002
00:48:53,719 --> 00:48:56,120
Speaker 3: And that was the moment where I was like, oh,

1003
00:48:56,440 --> 00:48:59,160
Speaker 3: I'm here for a specific reason. I'm here to make

1004
00:48:59,200 --> 00:49:02,439
Speaker 3: this non ap proachable topic approachable. I'm here to show

1005
00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:04,640
Speaker 3: up as someone who could be like a friend or

1006
00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:07,719
Speaker 3: a sister to this person. I'm here to actually talk

1007
00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:10,279
Speaker 3: about personal finance one oh one as if it's one

1008
00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:13,120
Speaker 3: oh one, not what they think one oh one is.

1009
00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:15,799
Speaker 3: And like that was literally the last moment I've ever

1010
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:18,000
Speaker 3: had imposter syndrome, because I was like, I'm supposed to

1011
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:18,480
Speaker 3: be here.

1012
00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:20,719
Speaker 5: You finally knew that that was the room you want men.

1013
00:49:20,680 --> 00:49:23,440
Speaker 3: To be right, I don't have as big of a resume,

1014
00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:26,279
Speaker 3: I haven't been through as many of these things. But

1015
00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:29,000
Speaker 3: I'm here for a particular reason to talk to this

1016
00:49:29,040 --> 00:49:32,920
Speaker 3: particular person. Like that was so helpful for me, and

1017
00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:36,720
Speaker 3: maybe it's helpful for you too. Listener of like showing

1018
00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:39,399
Speaker 3: up in rooms where you might not be the most

1019
00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:43,080
Speaker 3: qualified person, You're there for a different reason. You're there

1020
00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:46,160
Speaker 3: so that people feel less alone. You're there so that

1021
00:49:46,200 --> 00:49:50,120
Speaker 3: people can see themselves in you. You're there to translate

1022
00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:54,279
Speaker 3: jargon like you're there for a different reason, and that

1023
00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:56,600
Speaker 3: reason is just as valid, And I would argue maybe

1024
00:49:56,640 --> 00:50:00,520
Speaker 3: even more valid, because you are the best person that job.

1025
00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:02,799
Speaker 2: I love this. I feel like I've been talking to

1026
00:50:02,840 --> 00:50:05,239
Speaker 2: you forever. You are a very busy woman. I do

1027
00:50:05,239 --> 00:50:07,080
Speaker 2: not want to eat up any more of your time.

1028
00:50:07,200 --> 00:50:09,920
Speaker 2: I feel like you and I could talk about this

1029
00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:13,040
Speaker 2: until the cows come home, And I genuinely cannot wait

1030
00:50:13,120 --> 00:50:15,319
Speaker 2: until we get an opportunity to do this again, Like

1031
00:50:15,440 --> 00:50:18,160
Speaker 2: I will be following you up to be like when

1032
00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:19,000
Speaker 2: can we meet?

1033
00:50:19,040 --> 00:50:21,640
Speaker 5: How much coffee can we drink? And yell at each.

1034
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:24,480
Speaker 2: Other over like I just I think this is so good,

1035
00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:27,879
Speaker 2: this has been great. But one of my favorite questions

1036
00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:32,080
Speaker 2: to ask people is Tory came on this podcast and

1037
00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:34,160
Speaker 2: you're very generous with your time, and you said, yeah,

1038
00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:36,120
Speaker 2: I'll give the Shees on the Money community a piece

1039
00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:40,120
Speaker 2: of me to help them get ahead. But coming into

1040
00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:43,479
Speaker 2: any interview, what is one question that you wish people

1041
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:44,400
Speaker 2: would ask you.

1042
00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:47,200
Speaker 3: I get asked a lot of course about like where

1043
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:50,200
Speaker 3: does somebody get started financially? And I think that's really helpful.

1044
00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:53,400
Speaker 3: I think one of the things that I am most

1045
00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:56,759
Speaker 3: proud of that actually doesn't have anything to do with

1046
00:50:56,840 --> 00:50:59,160
Speaker 3: personal finance is how we've built our business, and I

1047
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:02,120
Speaker 3: wish more people are about that. Like I said before,

1048
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:05,640
Speaker 3: we have a team. We have built this company. We

1049
00:51:05,680 --> 00:51:10,160
Speaker 3: have built honestly like a media company. I built that

1050
00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:16,600
Speaker 3: with twenty dollars. Like I signed up for a Squarespace subscription,

1051
00:51:16,880 --> 00:51:18,640
Speaker 3: I bought a domain. Maybe it was forty I think

1052
00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:21,240
Speaker 3: I bought the Squarespace subscription and then I bought the domain,

1053
00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:23,880
Speaker 3: so it's probably about forty bucks. Like I took no

1054
00:51:23,960 --> 00:51:26,719
Speaker 3: outside funding. We don't do paid ads, like we have

1055
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:32,520
Speaker 3: grown an audience to four million people with organic social media. Now,

1056
00:51:32,560 --> 00:51:34,440
Speaker 3: if you don't work in social media, that is almost

1057
00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:35,360
Speaker 3: impossible to do.

1058
00:51:35,480 --> 00:51:37,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like that is the biggest bragging rights in the

1059
00:51:38,160 --> 00:51:38,920
Speaker 2: entire world.

1060
00:51:39,200 --> 00:51:44,600
Speaker 3: It's very difficult, especially with companies like a Meta or

1061
00:51:44,680 --> 00:51:48,800
Speaker 3: a Google that basically tank your organic content.

1062
00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:49,400
Speaker 2: If you're not paying.

1063
00:51:49,560 --> 00:51:52,279
Speaker 3: And I had this background in social media, and I

1064
00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:56,799
Speaker 3: literally worked for companies that would spend hundreds of thousands

1065
00:51:56,800 --> 00:52:01,279
Speaker 3: of dollars a month just on Facebook ads. And now

1066
00:52:01,280 --> 00:52:02,560
Speaker 3: I have a ton of privilege. I want to be

1067
00:52:02,560 --> 00:52:04,400
Speaker 3: clear about that. That's a huge part of my story.

1068
00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:08,120
Speaker 3: I'm a cisgendered white woman who you know, graduated college

1069
00:52:08,120 --> 00:52:10,400
Speaker 3: debt free because she worked through college but also had

1070
00:52:10,440 --> 00:52:12,680
Speaker 3: parents to help pay. Like, I have a lot of privileges,

1071
00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:15,040
Speaker 3: but I didn't have this like rich uncle who swooped

1072
00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:17,799
Speaker 3: in was like, here's some investment money for your business. Like,

1073
00:52:18,320 --> 00:52:21,279
Speaker 3: I am really really proud of what I have been

1074
00:52:21,320 --> 00:52:23,239
Speaker 3: able to do as an individual, what our team has

1075
00:52:23,239 --> 00:52:26,880
Speaker 3: been able to do, what our community stands for creating

1076
00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:30,879
Speaker 3: a mission and values based company to teach women how

1077
00:52:30,920 --> 00:52:35,520
Speaker 3: to navigate the financial system, but also working to take

1078
00:52:35,560 --> 00:52:39,960
Speaker 3: this community and give them both an individual purpose and

1079
00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:43,839
Speaker 3: a collective purpose. And the fact that I didn't ask

1080
00:52:43,840 --> 00:52:47,400
Speaker 3: for outside money to do that. I haven't paid for ads,

1081
00:52:47,440 --> 00:52:48,799
Speaker 3: Like I'm really proud of that.

1082
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:52,840
Speaker 2: I am in awe of that, Like thank you, especially

1083
00:52:53,000 --> 00:52:56,560
Speaker 2: in America where it is so hard to get ahead,

1084
00:52:57,120 --> 00:52:59,600
Speaker 2: especially as a woman, and to be able to be

1085
00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:02,280
Speaker 2: like I don't spend anything on its. I also didn't

1086
00:53:02,280 --> 00:53:04,360
Speaker 2: take anybody's money. I did THEEPS.

1087
00:53:04,680 --> 00:53:07,160
Speaker 5: I am just ah, I love it so much.

1088
00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:07,840
Speaker 3: Thank you.

1089
00:53:08,040 --> 00:53:09,400
Speaker 5: I'm so glad I asked that.

1090
00:53:09,719 --> 00:53:13,040
Speaker 3: And it's also like, without getting too emotional, like I'm

1091
00:53:13,120 --> 00:53:15,960
Speaker 3: really proud of myself. I've always had a vision for

1092
00:53:16,040 --> 00:53:18,480
Speaker 3: something bigger, but I didn't know that this was it.

1093
00:53:18,719 --> 00:53:21,160
Speaker 3: Like I always make the joke like if you would

1094
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:23,040
Speaker 3: have told me five years ago, Tory, you're going to

1095
00:53:23,080 --> 00:53:25,200
Speaker 3: be educating people about money, I would have laughed in

1096
00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:25,640
Speaker 3: your face.

1097
00:53:25,719 --> 00:53:27,720
Speaker 5: Same I would have been like that sounds awful.

1098
00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:29,560
Speaker 3: Literally, I like that sounds born as hell.

1099
00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:31,400
Speaker 5: I thought I was going to be a psychologist.

1100
00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:34,200
Speaker 3: Lucas is now like what the goal was to be

1101
00:53:34,239 --> 00:53:36,239
Speaker 3: an actor for me and then a marketer and then

1102
00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:39,360
Speaker 3: like it's turned into this and so it's just really

1103
00:53:39,400 --> 00:53:41,839
Speaker 3: really amazing to see the impact it's had on people's lives.

1104
00:53:41,880 --> 00:53:43,760
Speaker 3: To see the impact it's had on my own life,

1105
00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:46,360
Speaker 3: Like I'm financially independent. That's the other thing that I

1106
00:53:46,400 --> 00:53:48,920
Speaker 3: wish more people asked me about. I was financially independent

1107
00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:50,840
Speaker 3: at twenty seven years old, meaning I never had to

1108
00:53:50,840 --> 00:53:52,480
Speaker 3: work another day in my life if I didn't want to,

1109
00:53:52,520 --> 00:53:55,360
Speaker 3: because I had saved slash invested enough money that I

1110
00:53:55,360 --> 00:53:58,759
Speaker 3: could have hypothetically quit working. Now, I don't want to

1111
00:53:58,800 --> 00:54:00,120
Speaker 3: do that because I like what I do. We have

1112
00:54:00,160 --> 00:54:02,000
Speaker 3: a company now, and we do all these things. I'm

1113
00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:03,920
Speaker 3: proud of that. There's a lot of things I'm proud of.

1114
00:54:03,960 --> 00:54:07,000
Speaker 3: I think with HF and with how I've grown. I

1115
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:08,560
Speaker 3: don't know how much time we have. But the other

1116
00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:12,239
Speaker 3: thing that I think is really important that I wish

1117
00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:15,120
Speaker 3: we talked more about, just as a society and as

1118
00:54:15,160 --> 00:54:18,359
Speaker 3: people who are public people online, is that it is very,

1119
00:54:18,480 --> 00:54:22,839
Speaker 3: very difficult to be a person online, and we were

1120
00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:27,120
Speaker 3: never meant to be or designed to be, as humans

1121
00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:32,440
Speaker 3: beings that took everybody's opinion and took a million pieces

1122
00:54:32,480 --> 00:54:36,200
Speaker 3: of data all of the time in you know, one

1123
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:40,040
Speaker 3: ten minute scrolling session on Instagram or TikTok. Like I

1124
00:54:40,080 --> 00:54:42,880
Speaker 3: always think about if I walk down the street and

1125
00:54:42,920 --> 00:54:46,080
Speaker 3: that worked the same way my social media feed did.

1126
00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:49,200
Speaker 3: One person would be so excited to meet me, which

1127
00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:52,200
Speaker 3: would be lovely, and then I'd have five people screaming

1128
00:54:52,960 --> 00:54:56,440
Speaker 3: obscenities or calling me fat to my face.

1129
00:54:56,880 --> 00:54:59,120
Speaker 5: Just it's not the reality, is it.

1130
00:54:59,120 --> 00:55:02,120
Speaker 3: It's not the reality. And it's also like I think

1131
00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:04,640
Speaker 3: most of us are just trying to do the best

1132
00:55:04,680 --> 00:55:07,359
Speaker 3: that we can. We're just trying to show up as

1133
00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:09,880
Speaker 3: the best versions of ourselves, and we are going to

1134
00:55:09,960 --> 00:55:13,239
Speaker 3: make mistakes, and we are also going to sometimes make

1135
00:55:13,280 --> 00:55:16,359
Speaker 3: decisions that other people don't understand because there's information that

1136
00:55:16,400 --> 00:55:19,719
Speaker 3: we have that somebody else doesn't, and we're just trying

1137
00:55:19,760 --> 00:55:24,080
Speaker 3: to do the right thing. And it's really often difficult,

1138
00:55:24,400 --> 00:55:27,840
Speaker 3: even with all of these very flashy measures of success

1139
00:55:27,880 --> 00:55:30,480
Speaker 3: and things that I'm so grateful for. You were talking

1140
00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:32,960
Speaker 3: about showing up on TikTok every day. That is not easy.

1141
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:34,640
Speaker 2: Oh no, that's why I'm impressed.

1142
00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:39,200
Speaker 5: Obviously, working a nine to five Monday to Friday job

1143
00:55:39,320 --> 00:55:40,319
Speaker 5: is much harder than that.

1144
00:55:40,560 --> 00:55:43,200
Speaker 2: However, Yes, I think it's one of those things where

1145
00:55:43,560 --> 00:55:46,279
Speaker 2: just showing up it takes so much more than the time, right,

1146
00:55:46,360 --> 00:55:48,960
Speaker 2: it takes the energy. It takes me so much emotional

1147
00:55:49,080 --> 00:55:50,680
Speaker 2: energy just to turn up online.

1148
00:55:50,760 --> 00:55:53,560
Speaker 3: And even if you're not an influencer or a public person,

1149
00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:56,320
Speaker 3: like social media is a beautiful way to connect with people,

1150
00:55:56,360 --> 00:55:59,399
Speaker 3: it is also so damaging to your psyche, Like it's

1151
00:55:59,520 --> 00:56:04,200
Speaker 3: so hard to create content, to show up to do

1152
00:56:04,239 --> 00:56:05,959
Speaker 3: that day in or day out, to do that where

1153
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:09,920
Speaker 3: people are screaming at you and just saying really gross

1154
00:56:09,960 --> 00:56:13,160
Speaker 3: things about you. And again, I don't have an answer,

1155
00:56:13,280 --> 00:56:18,040
Speaker 3: but just like, be kind to people online, like show

1156
00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:21,120
Speaker 3: up as the kindest version of yourself in all aspects

1157
00:56:21,160 --> 00:56:23,600
Speaker 3: of your life. But especially if you're hiding behind this

1158
00:56:23,760 --> 00:56:27,840
Speaker 3: like anonymity, or you're telling somebody that you don't actually

1159
00:56:27,880 --> 00:56:32,240
Speaker 3: know in real life about all of your opinions about

1160
00:56:32,239 --> 00:56:33,520
Speaker 3: their work or about them.

1161
00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:35,520
Speaker 2: It says so much more about them than it ever

1162
00:56:35,600 --> 00:56:38,759
Speaker 2: does about you. And I just don't think they realize that.

1163
00:56:39,360 --> 00:56:42,200
Speaker 2: And it's the sad reality of the world because, as

1164
00:56:42,239 --> 00:56:44,560
Speaker 2: you said before, we're all just out here trying to

1165
00:56:44,560 --> 00:56:47,200
Speaker 2: do the best that we can, and your best is

1166
00:56:47,280 --> 00:56:51,759
Speaker 2: obviously way way way up there. But your best is

1167
00:56:51,760 --> 00:56:53,640
Speaker 2: actually just trying to put other people in the best

1168
00:56:53,640 --> 00:56:56,279
Speaker 2: possible position, because you know that a lot of them

1169
00:56:56,320 --> 00:56:59,200
Speaker 2: aren't and they deserve that. And the idea that people

1170
00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:03,520
Speaker 2: don't like that blows my mind, Like the idea that

1171
00:57:03,680 --> 00:57:07,640
Speaker 2: you're just out here trying to help and people hate it.

1172
00:57:08,200 --> 00:57:11,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, And just the assumption of positive intent, I think

1173
00:57:11,400 --> 00:57:14,120
Speaker 3: is so important. This is important for ourselves, It's important

1174
00:57:14,160 --> 00:57:16,840
Speaker 3: for our relationships. It's also important for like people you

1175
00:57:16,920 --> 00:57:21,200
Speaker 3: admire or follow online, like offer yourself and meet and

1176
00:57:21,320 --> 00:57:24,640
Speaker 3: Victoria and everybody else you follow. Like just a little

1177
00:57:24,640 --> 00:57:26,720
Speaker 3: bit of grace. I love that we're doing the best

1178
00:57:26,720 --> 00:57:29,560
Speaker 3: that we can, and we are doing this in the

1179
00:57:29,640 --> 00:57:32,840
Speaker 3: hopes that we can take care of ourselves, we can

1180
00:57:32,880 --> 00:57:34,880
Speaker 3: take care of our team, we can take care of

1181
00:57:34,880 --> 00:57:37,360
Speaker 3: our communities, and that we can leave the world a

1182
00:57:37,360 --> 00:57:39,080
Speaker 3: little bit better than we found it. And all of

1183
00:57:39,160 --> 00:57:42,600
Speaker 3: this sounds like touchy feely, but like truly, just be

1184
00:57:42,760 --> 00:57:46,560
Speaker 3: kind to people, especially the people that like you follow

1185
00:57:46,560 --> 00:57:49,840
Speaker 3: and you hold in high regard, because we are people too.

1186
00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:51,720
Speaker 3: We are out here doing the best we can with

1187
00:57:51,800 --> 00:57:52,160
Speaker 3: all of it.

1188
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:55,400
Speaker 2: I love it, Tory. I think that is probably one

1189
00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:57,640
Speaker 2: of the best places to leave it that I've ever seen.

1190
00:57:58,240 --> 00:58:00,840
Speaker 2: So I am going to wrap us up here, but

1191
00:58:00,920 --> 00:58:05,040
Speaker 2: before we go, thank you for sharing so much time

1192
00:58:05,080 --> 00:58:07,320
Speaker 2: with me and with my community. I know they are

1193
00:58:07,360 --> 00:58:10,240
Speaker 2: going to be so excited about this episode. I feel

1194
00:58:10,240 --> 00:58:12,320
Speaker 2: like you're right, this episode is a little bit more fluffy,

1195
00:58:12,400 --> 00:58:16,720
Speaker 2: but like I hope people walk away feeling so inspired,

1196
00:58:16,760 --> 00:58:19,240
Speaker 2: so empowered to just take the first step if they

1197
00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:21,560
Speaker 2: haven't done that yet, or just know that they're on

1198
00:58:21,680 --> 00:58:24,240
Speaker 2: the right track, right Like if you're listening to this

1199
00:58:24,320 --> 00:58:26,360
Speaker 2: and you're like, I am doing those things, like you

1200
00:58:26,400 --> 00:58:29,840
Speaker 2: get it, queen, Like I love it so much. But

1201
00:58:30,040 --> 00:58:32,560
Speaker 2: for those of you who might not have met you yet,

1202
00:58:32,680 --> 00:58:35,520
Speaker 2: how do we stay in touch? How do we follow you?

1203
00:58:35,600 --> 00:58:36,760
Speaker 2: How do we buy your book?

1204
00:58:36,880 --> 00:58:38,760
Speaker 5: How do I do all of those things that I.

1205
00:58:38,680 --> 00:58:40,760
Speaker 2: Want everyone in my community to be doing?

1206
00:58:41,360 --> 00:58:43,920
Speaker 3: Thank you. I know there's a lot of actionable advice

1207
00:58:43,960 --> 00:58:46,040
Speaker 3: on your episodes and your podcast as well as mine,

1208
00:58:46,040 --> 00:58:48,000
Speaker 3: so hopefully this was actually a nice reprieve from some

1209
00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:50,200
Speaker 3: of that. Her first hunder k is our brand. You

1210
00:58:50,200 --> 00:58:51,960
Speaker 3: can go to her first hundred k dot com for

1211
00:58:52,160 --> 00:58:54,200
Speaker 3: all of the ways to work with us and to

1212
00:58:54,280 --> 00:58:56,880
Speaker 3: consume our content. We're also her first hunder k and

1213
00:58:56,920 --> 00:58:59,560
Speaker 3: all the socials My podcast and book are called Financial

1214
00:58:59,560 --> 00:59:02,840
Speaker 3: Feminists and should be available wherever you listen to podcasts

1215
00:59:02,840 --> 00:59:04,480
Speaker 3: and wherever you read your books.

1216
00:59:04,240 --> 00:59:06,800
Speaker 2: We will link to all of them in our show notes,

1217
00:59:06,920 --> 00:59:08,800
Speaker 2: so it can't be missed and you don't have to

1218
00:59:08,800 --> 00:59:12,560
Speaker 2: write that down. But again, Tory, thank you so much

1219
00:59:12,640 --> 00:59:14,880
Speaker 2: for sharing so much time and so much space and honestly,

1220
00:59:14,960 --> 00:59:17,760
Speaker 2: so much of you. I feel like I've learned in

1221
00:59:17,960 --> 00:59:20,320
Speaker 2: this I guess hour that we've been recording just so

1222
00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:22,680
Speaker 2: much about who you are as a person, and I'm

1223
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:25,080
Speaker 2: even more obsessed, like I love it. I just can't

1224
00:59:25,080 --> 00:59:28,040
Speaker 2: wait until we cross paths in person and get to

1225
00:59:28,080 --> 00:59:30,560
Speaker 2: talk more about business, like I want to know how

1226
00:59:30,560 --> 00:59:32,480
Speaker 2: you built this business and I want to share that

1227
00:59:32,520 --> 00:59:35,680
Speaker 2: with my community too. So, guys, thank you so much

1228
00:59:35,720 --> 00:59:38,360
Speaker 2: for listening, and Tory, thank you so much for joining.

1229
00:59:38,720 --> 00:59:39,920
Speaker 3: I love it, Thanks for having me.

1230
00:59:45,840 --> 00:59:48,360
Speaker 6: The advice shared on She's on the Money is general

1231
00:59:48,440 --> 00:59:52,280
Speaker 6: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's

1232
00:59:52,320 --> 00:59:55,800
Speaker 6: on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should

1233
00:59:55,800 --> 00:59:59,000
Speaker 6: not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.

1234
00:59:59,360 --> 01:00:01,880
Speaker 2: If you do choose to buy a financial product.

1235
01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:05,160
Speaker 6: Read the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial.

1236
01:00:04,760 --> 01:00:06,560
Speaker 2: Advice tailored towards your needs.

1237
01:00:06,920 --> 01:00:10,840
Speaker 6: Victoria divine and She's on the money are authorized representatives

1238
01:00:10,880 --> 01:00:13,400
Speaker 6: of money sherper p t y lt D. A b

1239
01:00:13,600 --> 01:00:16,640
Speaker 6: N three two one six four nine two seven seven

1240
01:00:16,760 --> 01:00:22,680
Speaker 6: zero eight afs L four five one two eight nine