Speaker 1: Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands
Speaker 1: were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders
Speaker 1: past and present.
Speaker 2: Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was
Speaker 2: recorded on Drug Wallamuta Land.
Speaker 1: Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.
Speaker 1: I'm Brittany.
Speaker 2: Now I'm Laura.
Speaker 1: I have a question for you. Wow, straight out of
Speaker 1: the gate.
Speaker 2: We're not just going to have any like little nuh hello?
Speaker 2: Catch up?
Speaker 3: Nah?
Speaker 1: Do you have a toenail like a little tonel?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Like, does your little toe have a fully formed toenail?
Speaker 1: No, it's tiny, way because look look at this shit.
Speaker 1: What is that?
Speaker 2: That's rank? That's your question.
Speaker 1: I have tiny, little fat toes, so like my toes tiny. Okay.
Speaker 2: The reason I'm asking this is because I think that
Speaker 2: there is a portion of the popular out there whose
Speaker 2: little toe has been Yeah, it's just been beaten so hard.
Speaker 1: It's had such a hard life.
Speaker 2: My little toe has had such a hard life that
Speaker 2: the toenail.
Speaker 1: Literally doesn't grow anymore.
Speaker 2: And I mean if you've been following along to the
Speaker 2: pod for a while, you would know, or socials whatever
Speaker 2: I've just gotten back from Bali, I got a foot
Speaker 2: massage and I got my toenails done while I was there.
Speaker 1: I know you got you know you did not. I'm
Speaker 1: calling bullshit. Get a refund because those toes have not
Speaker 1: been done. Case you look at that toe. Look at
Speaker 1: this beat. Wait wait, look she's trying to toes over
Speaker 1: in Hinde.
Speaker 2: Stop looking stoop shaming me for my toes.
Speaker 1: Guys.
Speaker 2: No, the man was there and he was this lovely
Speaker 2: Balinese guy similar age massaging my feet, and even he
Speaker 2: every so often made this look like he was rebulsed,
Speaker 2: and I was like, ah, that's I.
Speaker 1: Reckon, it's paying you pretend like you're enjoying it. Firstly,
Speaker 1: what happened to your feet? Because you said you got
Speaker 1: them done, They're not done. This is the fucking effects
Speaker 1: of the milky foot thing.
Speaker 2: Like I got them done and then literally days later
Speaker 2: they're still shedding.
Speaker 1: It's because you don't wear shoes anyways. Also a problem.
Speaker 1: I feel like when we were made, like however we're
Speaker 1: made by spontaneous combustion, God, whatever, when we were made,
Speaker 1: I feel like he put us together and he starts
Speaker 1: from the top down and by the time he gets
Speaker 1: to the little toe. I feel like it's the last
Speaker 1: thing he puts on the body and he's just got
Speaker 1: nothing left. He's like I've run out of juice. So
Speaker 1: you get this tiny, little smidgy toe. That's what I
Speaker 1: think happens. I have like little chizzo stubs thanks to
Speaker 1: the big bank. Yours are not churio. Yours are more
Speaker 1: like a German sausage, Like they're long and skinny.
Speaker 2: That last one is like a little what's that small
Speaker 2: little potato? What's that type of potato? It's a chat potato?
Speaker 1: Well, how was Barley harther than with your foot experience?
Speaker 2: So this was my very first holiday with our kids.
Speaker 2: I went to Bali for seven days without my children,
Speaker 2: just with my sister and like one star from Tony Mate,
Speaker 2: I mean we worked. I feel like I have to
Speaker 2: justify myself every time.
Speaker 1: But you also don't like even if you went away
Speaker 1: without work, that's okay.
Speaker 2: Now, how dare you, as a mother have a life
Speaker 2: and enjoy yourself without your children? How sacrilege? It was amazing.
Speaker 2: I missed my kids so much, like so so much.
Speaker 2: It was weird enough to side back. I am coming
Speaker 2: to you today from Bali. No I'm back. I'm back
Speaker 2: in the studio. I miss them so much. But it
Speaker 2: also made me realize how much I don't like other
Speaker 2: people's children.
Speaker 1: Is that a terrible thing to say? I think that's standard.
Speaker 2: I love my kids. I don't think they're perfect. I'm
Speaker 2: not like someone who's like, my kids are amazing. Everyone
Speaker 2: else's kids suck.
Speaker 1: You do tell me every day that your kids are
Speaker 1: basically in mensa the genius, But no.
Speaker 2: I think when they're your own children, you just have
Speaker 2: such a different level of patience for their shit, right,
Speaker 2: Like when they're your kids, you're like, Okay, I can
Speaker 2: deal with this because I created you.
Speaker 1: You are my.
Speaker 2: DNA, and I am responsible for whatever it is that
Speaker 2: you do, and because you have to yeah, and you
Speaker 2: can just inside your body, there's a great level of
Speaker 2: patience and everything else. And I guess, like I've said
Speaker 2: this before, but I have. I was never someone who
Speaker 2: was particularly maternal, Like I never had this overwhelming like
Speaker 2: I want to be a mom, I want to have babies.
Speaker 2: But when I had kids, I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: I love being a mom and everything changed about my life.
Speaker 2: But when I'm away from my children and I have
Speaker 2: to be around other people's kids. Kids who I am
Speaker 2: I have no connection with. I'm talking like strangers, kids
Speaker 2: on planes and stuff. I realized that my patience for
Speaker 2: other people's children is very low, which is not fair
Speaker 2: because I would hope that some people are more patient
Speaker 2: with my children, but I just don't have it for
Speaker 2: other people's kids.
Speaker 1: But I think there's a really small special subgroup of
Speaker 1: people in the world, like the child cares and teachers.
Speaker 2: Yeah, daycare workers, that's it, Yes.
Speaker 1: That actually enjoy other people's kids. Otherwise, I don't think
Speaker 1: you're a minority like I think. I think the minority
Speaker 1: is people that froth other people's kids.
Speaker 2: Okay, So I say this because so we flew to Bali.
Speaker 2: Oh dear, we flewp Balle. We flew Jetstar. It's a
Speaker 2: small seat for six hours, and directly behind me there
Speaker 2: was like a six year old boy and he had
Speaker 2: brought plato on the plane. He was flying with his dad,
Speaker 2: but maybe he was like five, I don't know.
Speaker 1: He was young.
Speaker 2: He was flying with his dad. His dad was in
Speaker 2: the middle seat, and then he had his other brother
Speaker 2: who was a little bit older, on the other seat
Speaker 2: next to him, like next to his dad, and the
Speaker 2: kid had put the tray table down and was playing
Speaker 2: with Plato, but was like banging, that's banging the trade.
Speaker 2: I don't know if you could hear that from Afar,
Speaker 2: but he was. He was really making a pancake. He
Speaker 2: was really getting into the Plato making, which meant that
Speaker 2: my a pancake. My entire seat on the plane was
Speaker 2: reverberating the entire time, and every time he'd bang his
Speaker 2: little fists onto the tray table, my seat would go
Speaker 2: bud blud bud, and so I waited. I tolerated this
Speaker 2: for a good twenty five minutes until eventually I turned
Speaker 2: around and I was like, look, I'm really sorry to
Speaker 2: the day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, from parent to parent, I'm gonna parent down with you.
Speaker 2: I was like, could you maybe ask him not to
Speaker 2: bang on the seat, and the dad goes, you don't
Speaker 2: bang on the seat.
Speaker 1: That was what I got.
Speaker 2: Anyway, two seconds later, bang bang bang, and I had
Speaker 2: this moment where I was like, fuck you for your
Speaker 2: shitty parenting because he wasn't like the kid was obviously
Speaker 2: occupied and it wasn't affecting the dart. The dad just
Speaker 2: like he just went into coast mode and just let
Speaker 2: it affect everyone else.
Speaker 1: And I was like, how do you So did you
Speaker 1: turn around again?
Speaker 2: Yes, and said it again, but this time to the
Speaker 2: kid directly, which stop your little shit.
Speaker 1: I turned around.
Speaker 2: And I and I said it exactly how I would
Speaker 2: say it to my own children. I turned around and
Speaker 2: I was like, can you please stop hitting the seat
Speaker 2: or you're in that naughty corner? Yeah, and tastu.
Speaker 1: Yeah. He stopped for real five minutes then he started.
Speaker 1: Yet it hits different when like, remember when you're a kid,
Speaker 1: you know what you can push with your parents, but
Speaker 1: when another parent disciplined you, it's cooked. You're like, you
Speaker 1: listen because it just hits different totally.
Speaker 2: But it just reinforces how much your own kids don't
Speaker 2: listen to you. No, no, To be fair, this child
Speaker 2: didn't listen to me either, So it was very similar
Speaker 2: to parenting my own children.
Speaker 1: So what do you do? Just let him kick you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, for for five and a half hours, he kicked
Speaker 2: the back of my seat. Now, actually he kicked it
Speaker 2: for about three hours and then he had a sleep,
Speaker 2: He had a nap, He wore himself.
Speaker 1: I I'm not good at confrontation, but I also have
Speaker 1: really thin patients on a plane and for six hours
Speaker 1: on that tiny jet star seat, I would have lost it.
Speaker 2: I ended up turning around, I think, in total, about
Speaker 2: four or five times to say can you please stop
Speaker 2: hitting this?
Speaker 1: Or I would have asked me you stop hitting the
Speaker 1: seat if there was another seat.
Speaker 2: And three of those times was directed at the dad
Speaker 2: and twice to the kid, which I think is an
Speaker 2: excessive amount of time to have to ask someone to
Speaker 2: stop hitting your seat.
Speaker 1: The dad couldn't care less.
Speaker 2: He did not give a single not one single fuck.
Speaker 2: Was he by himself, no mum, was traveling on his own.
Speaker 2: He had already checked out of his life. Like you know,
Speaker 2: if you have telling if you've got a border plane
Speaker 2: with your two kids and you're not co parenting and
Speaker 2: you're got to do one hundred percent of it yourself.
Speaker 1: He was like, I do not care.
Speaker 2: You cannot ask me to do anything right now. I
Speaker 2: am not listening. I am surviving. And I think I
Speaker 2: should have had more patience for him.
Speaker 1: You know what, he was traveling alone with his kids. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel sorry for him. So he was probably just
Speaker 1: like fucking small pos to pay like chicken cop this
Speaker 1: for six hours?
Speaker 3: Do you know what?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 2: That was the worst. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2: They started with the two worst part, my feet and
Speaker 2: my playing troop.
Speaker 1: The rest of that troop was bringing to people all
Speaker 1: they want.
Speaker 2: It was amazing, It was so amazing. But you know what,
Speaker 2: this isn't about me. This is about you because I
Speaker 2: read a Daily Mail article that you are going through
Speaker 2: a heartbreaking period in your relationship. Actually, I will read
Speaker 2: you the headline. Daily Mail wrote a really beautiful article
Speaker 2: about britt This is the article Brittany Hockley reveals heartbreaking
Speaker 2: news about new Swiss soccer boyfriend Benjamin Zerrust.
Speaker 1: Bejaminam Benmin Benjamin don't have to go and your head
Speaker 1: like goes like a little peacock. Sorry, what is the
Speaker 1: heartbreaking news? Okay, I read this. I don't know you
Speaker 1: told me. It's that makes it sound like someone's dying.
Speaker 1: I saw this yesterday and I was like, fuck, did
Speaker 1: you guys break up? And you didn't tell me?
Speaker 2: Like I thought something bad had actually probably.
Speaker 1: Something that would happen, like yeah, I just would go
Speaker 1: into like the depths of depression and you'd have to
Speaker 1: come pull me out and you'd be like, what happened.
Speaker 1: I'd be like I didn't want to tell you. No,
Speaker 1: that's a lie.
Speaker 2: You would just send me a text and then you
Speaker 2: wouldn't answer your phone.
Speaker 1: That's what would happen.
Speaker 2: Brittany likes to be really dramatic in text message and
Speaker 2: then she puts it on do not disturb and doesn't
Speaker 2: answer because.
Speaker 1: It's I can't. I told you, I don't. You guys
Speaker 1: don't believe me. I don't deal with this stuff very well,
Speaker 1: and I want to tell anyone anything, so when I
Speaker 1: have to, it's like I dropped the bomb and then
Speaker 1: run away. So I can't deal with you know.
Speaker 2: But you do it in the most dramatic way possible.
Speaker 2: You'll be like, hey, so Jordan broke up with me.
Speaker 2: I'm super depressed and I you know, my life is
Speaker 2: not going to go on and then you then you
Speaker 2: don't answer.
Speaker 1: It's like, fuck, that is not completely I broke up
Speaker 1: with him, no.
Speaker 3: Chaking.
Speaker 1: Yes, I do drop a bomb and run and then
Speaker 1: I pretend I don't exist anymore because that's how I
Speaker 1: deal with my problems. Okay, it's not healthy. I don't
Speaker 1: recommend it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and we've done a lot, We've done four years
Speaker 2: of self help on this podcast.
Speaker 1: But it hasn't really helped. Well, hang on, what was
Speaker 1: the Brittany self? What is the heartbreak? I've told me it.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Actually, I think we didn't read it, so we could
Speaker 1: be broken up or dying, and you just stop reading.
Speaker 1: Brittany's going through something really bad. I'll just check out here.
Speaker 2: Because I knew it wasn't true.
Speaker 1: This could have been the worst moment of my life.
Speaker 1: You're not gonna tell you now. I'm gonna make you
Speaker 1: read it another date. You'll have to read read it.
Speaker 2: Do you know what you say? This could be the
Speaker 2: worst moment of your life. You look pretty good. You're
Speaker 2: not gonna see him for three months? I'm not, you know,
Speaker 2: to be honest, the article was anti climat Dick one hundred, like,
Speaker 2: you're not gonna see him for three months. I'm like, June,
Speaker 2: you'll be fine, You're gonna be okay.
Speaker 1: It's actually thirteen weeks.
Speaker 2: How do you feel heartbreaknant? As the article said, no to.
Speaker 1: This is the longest we would have gone in the
Speaker 1: last we would have been together fourteen months by the
Speaker 1: time I see him. But in the last year, this
Speaker 1: is the longest. It is a long time, like thirteen
Speaker 1: weeks to then only see each other for two weeks
Speaker 1: at a time. It's a long time, most heartbreaking moment,
Speaker 1: clickbait headline for sure, like I'm gonna live, but it
Speaker 1: is really sad and every time I leave him definitely
Speaker 1: gets harder. We had a really amazing time, but every
Speaker 1: single time I go on holiday, I don't know why.
Speaker 1: I get really sick. Now apparently this is a science thing.
Speaker 1: Heaps people wrote to me saying it's like literally science
Speaker 1: behind it, saying that's t when your body finally can
Speaker 1: get sick, because you're like, oh, I'm going to stop
Speaker 1: for a second.
Speaker 2: Pretty actually covid Is that actually true though?
Speaker 1: Well, I had so many messages. I think it is.
Speaker 1: I think there was some study with someone and some persons.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it was pretty accurate. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I went over there a little bit unwell, like
Speaker 1: I started to get a cult. But like one day
Speaker 1: in I was great, it was gone, it was nothing.
Speaker 1: I got three amazing days with Ben.
Speaker 2: He got three days off.
Speaker 1: We had three amazing days in Majorca and it was
Speaker 1: just like everything I could have imagined, everything I wanted.
Speaker 1: It was beautiful. Then we got back to Scotland and
Speaker 1: I think I had COVID. I think I was. I
Speaker 1: was basically sick the whole time. I know it doesn't
Speaker 1: look like that. I probably only showed you guys one
Speaker 1: story set actually showing how sick I was.
Speaker 2: But it was so shit.
Speaker 1: And then my sister got it. She's still bedridden. Sherry's
Speaker 1: been been ridden for seven days. And apparently there's this
Speaker 1: new strain of COVID going around the UK. I think
Speaker 1: fucking happens in the UK.
Speaker 2: You didn't want to do a test, didn't want to check.
Speaker 1: Well, it doesn't. I wasn't seeing anyone, and I was
Speaker 1: sick anyway, Like I was just at home and seeing Ben,
Speaker 1: and there's no point checking anymore. The flu's worse than
Speaker 1: COVID these days, so they say. But I was just
Speaker 1: really really unwell and that was most of my holiday, unfortunately,
Speaker 1: but still it was. Ben didn't get sick, and he
Speaker 1: told me he wouldn't. He's like, I've got this crazy immunity.
Speaker 1: He's like a very rarely get sick. So whatever. But
Speaker 1: I got a few days either side that were really
Speaker 1: really good. The start was really good and the last
Speaker 1: couple of days were really good. We just chilled and
Speaker 1: all I can think is like when you're talking about
Speaker 1: your holiday in Bali. I love Ben, but.
Speaker 2: Scotland's not doing it for me anymore. I am not surprised.
Speaker 1: It's like it's worth it because I get to spend
Speaker 1: my holiday with him, but it means that every holiday
Speaker 1: of my entire life I'm in it's somewhere over there
Speaker 1: now and I'm still cold and rainy.
Speaker 2: So how are you going to navigate this? Because, like
Speaker 2: I mean, there's been lots of talk about going and
Speaker 2: spending prolonged periods over there, Like if you are not
Speaker 2: enjoying it as a place to be, how do you be.
Speaker 1: I enjoy it because I'm with him and my sister
Speaker 1: was there, but it's more just the idea. And I
Speaker 1: guess if I was there for longer periods it sounds crazy,
Speaker 1: but you'd be ducking over to Europe, like you can
Speaker 1: be in Paris in like an hour on a plane
Speaker 1: or an hour on a train. Like there are ways
Speaker 1: to escape Scotland, of course, and Scotland's not all bad.
Speaker 1: It's just that the weathers. You're never gonna enjoy it.
Speaker 1: You're never gonna go swimming in the pool. They have
Speaker 1: nice sunny days. But it's not like a hot summer, right,
Speaker 1: so I would just have to escape. But I did
Speaker 1: spend some time with my best friends over there slash
Speaker 1: my only friends, Eugene, Alex and Eugene Ben's gay neighbors
Speaker 1: from next door. If you're new to the podcast, they're
Speaker 1: Ben's best friends in Scotland. Now they're my best friends
Speaker 1: in Scotland. They're Oh, they listen to this, they'll be angry.
Speaker 1: I've got to get it right.
Speaker 2: Last time he said they're sixty five. They're sixty five?
Speaker 1: Are they really?
Speaker 2: Because last time he said that they were in their
Speaker 2: sixties and they were offended.
Speaker 1: So I no, I say seventy. It's Eugene's sixty fifth
Speaker 1: birthday next week, so happy birthday, Eugene.
Speaker 2: And one of them is a psychic. Eugene's a psychic.
Speaker 2: So just so you know, Eugene is a psychic. Las
Speaker 2: time went over there, not last night, but like you know,
Speaker 2: at Christmas time, she went over there and she saw
Speaker 2: him and he said that Mitch and Mitch's boyfriend were
Speaker 2: going to break up. And then literally three weeks after
Speaker 2: Brick got back, they broke up. Yeah, it was a surprise.
Speaker 1: So Eugene was right. Yeah, I did tell Mitch Eugene
Speaker 1: was a really famous psychic in Scotland and in the UK.
Speaker 1: He used to like probably exaggeration, but he used to
Speaker 1: work for like the FBI or something.
Speaker 2: He worked.
Speaker 1: You know how you might see true those true crime
Speaker 1: documentaries where they bring psychics in sometimes when they're really
Speaker 1: desperate to try and find a missing person.
Speaker 2: We've all see a medium.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so he used to do that, and he used
Speaker 1: to do rings for a lot of people. But he
Speaker 1: also was a hospital worker, right, so he's very science
Speaker 1: based but also besees things. Anyway, Yeah, he said about Mitch.
Speaker 1: He was like, Mitch's going to break up with his partner,
Speaker 1: and I was like, no, he's really happy, Like they've
Speaker 1: been together for five years. That's not going to happen.
Speaker 1: He's like, it's going to happen. It's going to happen
Speaker 1: very soon. They're two different people and something, they're going
Speaker 1: different directions and something's going to happen. And then they
Speaker 1: broke up three weeks later or something crazy. But anyway,
Speaker 1: this time we were having lunch and I didn't get
Speaker 1: a reading because you know, I don't want to be
Speaker 1: that annoying person.
Speaker 2: That's like, every time you see him, though, are you
Speaker 2: like tell me what's gonna happen?
Speaker 1: Every time I see him, I look really deeply into
Speaker 1: his eyes, waiting for him to like get it, receive information,
Speaker 1: and tell me anyway, receive nothing. He didn't say anything.
Speaker 1: I didn't ask him, and then he drove me to
Speaker 1: the airport. They took me to the airport. So they
Speaker 1: were driving me to the airport, and then just as
Speaker 1: I was going to get it, I was like, you
Speaker 1: do not have to ask. I was like, did anything
Speaker 1: come through for me this trip? He's like, you're fucking
Speaker 1: getting out of the car now. He's like, no, nothing
Speaker 1: came through. I was like, okay, thanks, but we're sitting
Speaker 1: at lunch and he just went, you guys can't see this,
Speaker 1: but we're just eating and he went and he got
Speaker 1: like this hit and he looked off for a second
Speaker 1: and then he looked at me and he goes, oh,
Speaker 1: Mitch's going to fall in love really soon. And I
Speaker 1: was like, oh really, and he's like, yeah, he's going
Speaker 1: to be in a relationship really soon. And I was
Speaker 1: like that's great. And then he kept eating and it
Speaker 1: and he went got another hit and he goes, huh,
Speaker 1: and he already knows him. So he said that Mitch's
Speaker 1: next partner is someone that he's already met and he
Speaker 1: already knows. Why does he get so many visions about me?
Speaker 2: The vision about me for Fox too?
Speaker 1: Think it's because he excuse me, what about me? I'm
Speaker 1: the one there?
Speaker 2: Do you think it's because he's gay?
Speaker 1: Like maybe they read there's gay people better. Maybe gay
Speaker 1: mediums get different energies from different people. I don't know,
Speaker 1: but Mitch comes through a lot with Eugene.
Speaker 2: That's very interesting. Do you know what?
Speaker 1: This just reminded me of something.
Speaker 2: It's completely off topic, But when I was away and
Speaker 2: I didn't have my own children and Matt was parenting
Speaker 2: completely solo parenting.
Speaker 1: That's a lie. He had his mum, but he was trying,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, we know, that's a lot.
Speaker 2: I sent him a lot of messages being like, I reckon,
Speaker 2: we should have a third kid. I reckon, we should
Speaker 2: just do it next years. All the time I was like,
Speaker 2: I decided away. Yeah yeah, no, I know, And he wasn't.
Speaker 2: So he's really against him. He was really against the idea.
Speaker 2: He was like, that's having a newborn sounds like a
Speaker 2: fucking terrible idea, and I was like, we should just
Speaker 2: do it. We should just like, let's just have one.
Speaker 1: And now that you're back and you're sleep deprived again
Speaker 1: and you got the kids, do you still think that, Yeah,
Speaker 1: why where is this come from? I don't know.
Speaker 2: Maybe the last few, like they're shriveling up. I'm going
Speaker 2: to head into early menopause soon, and they're like, let's
Speaker 2: just go one more chance. Maybe let's hit it, let's go.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I just this part of me that's like, maybe we
Speaker 2: should have one more hit.
Speaker 1: I swear to God correct me if I'm wrong. I'm
Speaker 1: like a crack addict. If it wasn't that long ago
Speaker 1: that Matt was like, I want another kid, and you
Speaker 1: were like, well, cowboy, yeah, how to turn tea bush?
Speaker 2: Because he took he took it off the table. He
Speaker 2: said no, and I'm like, don't say no.
Speaker 1: To me like that baby, you like a child, put
Speaker 1: it in me.
Speaker 2: So now he's like no, he did right back, and
Speaker 2: he wrote fuck me a newborn and I read that
Speaker 2: as fuck me a newborn, like like I should do me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, comma space a newborn? Question yeah, it said. No,
Speaker 1: that's not what it is.
Speaker 2: Punctuation is very important kids, Yeah, yeah, grammar is important.
Speaker 2: But no, yeah, I think so. You still think that,
Speaker 2: but not now, Like, don't go getting too crazy guys,
Speaker 2: Like maybe like next year.
Speaker 1: Oh no, this doesn't excite me. It gives me exciting.
Speaker 2: We have to talk about how it's gonna work. Anyway. Look,
Speaker 2: I love that we've just had a little catch up.
Speaker 2: I mean, we haven't seen each other for the last
Speaker 2: two weeks, but also we had a week off the pod.
Speaker 2: So for us, this is just as much of a
Speaker 2: catch up, is what it sounds like to you guys.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, really, it's all real. We haven't heard it.
Speaker 1: So I also got a uti over there. Awesome, but
Speaker 1: I didn't get it until the last day.
Speaker 2: Do you know why you got that sex? You were
Speaker 2: having such dirty sex. It's not dirty, No, I know
Speaker 2: it's not.
Speaker 1: I take the back.
Speaker 2: I've had very clean and hygienic I've had so many
Speaker 2: UTIs in my last time. I've had a bladder infection
Speaker 2: because it got so far up there.
Speaker 1: Do you know what it is? It's because I don't
Speaker 1: have sex for three months and then I have enough
Speaker 1: sex to make up for the fact that I didn't
Speaker 1: have sex for three months. That's why I get each hat.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Do you know how we had that conversation about how
Speaker 2: your body knows when it wants it to stop. Your
Speaker 2: body's literally like stop.
Speaker 1: Now, please please, he's coming, please please, do not put
Speaker 1: that to do No. So I got ETI on the
Speaker 1: very last day, and I was on the day that
Speaker 1: I was flying out. And when I say get it,
Speaker 1: anyone that's listening has had yout You know, there's a
Speaker 1: very particular feeling at the start when you get it.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you remember, no tingling. It's the heaviness,
Speaker 1: it's the well frequently I mean frequent you in but
Speaker 1: I don't know how to explain it. It's like heavy inside,
Speaker 1: It's really heavy and sensitive and this is like bearing down.
Speaker 1: I don't know that's what I get. Anyway, I get
Speaker 1: that as well, but that's just from my prolapse.
Speaker 2: Yeah, same, same, that's my uterus after walking around.
Speaker 1: All that, I have to dug it back in sometimes.
Speaker 1: So anyway, I could feel this feeling and I was like,
Speaker 1: and for me, it, I mean for most people happens quickly,
Speaker 1: but the last time, remember you guys, I told you
Speaker 1: I had one in Bali, and within like five hours,
Speaker 1: I was wean blood and I was in so much
Speaker 1: pain and Ben had to go to the doctors. Anyway,
Speaker 1: Ben was that training. I could feel that I was
Speaker 1: getting this in a couple of hours. I was getting
Speaker 1: on a plane for twenty five hours of flying, and
Speaker 1: I thought, oh my god, if I get this on
Speaker 1: the plane, because that's how fast it escalates. I was like,
Speaker 1: I need to try and go to a pharmacist right
Speaker 1: now before I get on this plane. I only had
Speaker 1: an hour, so I messaged, of course, Alex and Eugene
Speaker 1: next door, and I was like, hey, guys, I need
Speaker 1: to I've just realized I need some medication before my
Speaker 1: fly is any way you can take me because I
Speaker 1: didn't have a car over there, like yeah, of course.
Speaker 1: So they swung by, got all my staff and took
Speaker 1: me to a pharmacy. Now Alex was like, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: really bad at a Scottish accent, but I'm gonna try.
Speaker 1: Everyone has written in saying, oh my god, Alex is
Speaker 1: like Missus Doubtfire, and he is. He's exactly like Missus Doubtfire.
Speaker 1: He looks like her. He sounds like her. So we
Speaker 1: pull up and Eugene's like, I'm going to stay in
Speaker 1: the car. You guys go in, Alex, take her in.
Speaker 1: Take it to the pharmacy. It's like their local pharmacy,
Speaker 1: because it's different in Scotland. You can't just go and
Speaker 1: get Uti medication over the counter. And I didn't have time.
Speaker 1: So I walk in and he's walking in with me
Speaker 1: and he's like, what's the problem. I said, oh, I've
Speaker 1: got a Uti. I just told them I don't care.
Speaker 1: I was like, he's like, where would you?
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I said to Alex, I've got a UTI and I
Speaker 1: cannot get on a plane like this. And he's like,
Speaker 1: no worries. And then he said, do you want me
Speaker 1: to come in with you or do you want me
Speaker 1: to st out here? And I said, well no, you
Speaker 1: can come in. He's like, I don't want to embarrass you.
Speaker 1: I said, you're not going to embarrass me, Like, of
Speaker 1: course you can come in. So we walk in and
Speaker 1: there's this tiny little pharmacy and there's about ten people
Speaker 1: in there, scattered around, and we get to the counter
Speaker 1: and everything silent, because you know, when you're in entire
Speaker 1: little pharmacy everyone's really quiet. Alex goes, oh, Michael, hold on, Michael,
Speaker 1: we need some help. Britney here is from Australia.
Speaker 3: She's got a bun in.
Speaker 1: YOUTI and I was like, what the fuck?
Speaker 3: Alex?
Speaker 1: I was like, everyone in the thing turned around.
Speaker 4: It only came on this morning, but it's given them
Speaker 4: lots of pain.
Speaker 1: And I was like, Alex, I was like, remember how
Speaker 1: you just said you don't want to come in because
Speaker 1: you want embarrass me. I was like, everyone in here doesn't.
Speaker 3: Need to know.
Speaker 1: I have you two. I. Then the lady at the
Speaker 1: back turns around. Don't worry, Darland. I just picked up
Speaker 1: my ut medication. She's like eighty. And I was like,
Speaker 1: this is the worst moment of my life.
Speaker 2: Do you know what is the worst moment of my life?
Speaker 2: You're a Scottish accent. It's fucking awful.
Speaker 1: But I was like, this is an unnecessary moment. Then
Speaker 1: it was so hard. It was like trying to get crack.
Speaker 1: Not that I've ever tried to get cracked, but this
Speaker 1: is how I imagine it was. Iron cracks probably easier it was.
Speaker 1: I had to sit and I had to we allowed
Speaker 1: a whole form with my whole history. I had to
Speaker 1: sit in a private room. He wasn't going to give
Speaker 1: it to me. He's like, I can't give you this,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, please give me this medication. Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: she's about the weird blot and it was a nightmare. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I got my medication, got on the plane, dealt within
Speaker 1: five hours, got home and I just want to report
Speaker 1: that has gone. Thanks.
Speaker 2: Okay, does that mean that we'll never have to listen
Speaker 2: to that?
Speaker 1: Wait? So, is that it?
Speaker 2: That's your number one update from Scotland.
Speaker 1: You just went away with the love of your life
Speaker 1: and the story. Yes, but Ben still loved me when
Speaker 1: I was at the depths of my despair and he
Speaker 1: looked after me so like, I just feel like he's
Speaker 1: my forever.
Speaker 2: Oh, oh my god, it's so cute.
Speaker 1: Okay. One other thing I will tell you. This absolutely
Speaker 1: blew my mind and I can't believe I forgot until
Speaker 1: right now.
Speaker 2: We really should make a list of the shit that
Speaker 2: we're supposed to talk about, because we get to this
Speaker 2: point where I do.
Speaker 1: Make a list in my head. I was driving along
Speaker 1: in Scotland and guess what I saw past me? Eleprecorn
Speaker 1: close a life bun cut jumper. No, stop it in
Speaker 1: Scotland's stop it?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: Was it one of Ben's family members? No, it was
Speaker 1: a stranger. And we were zipping past and she was
Speaker 1: walking past, and I tried to wind the window down
Speaker 1: really fast, but I was about fifty meters past at
Speaker 1: this point and I yelled out really loudly, we love love.
Speaker 1: And she turned around but I was too far away.
Speaker 1: Then she was like, stop in Australia. She's like, someone
Speaker 1: gave this away. I found it on the road and
Speaker 1: then I told Sherry and she was like, I saw
Speaker 1: a this is in Glasgow. She goes, I saw a
Speaker 1: girl walking around Edinburgh with a life on cut jumper
Speaker 1: as well. Can we got to two people in Scotland?
Speaker 2: Guys, this is just a promo. I know it's getting
Speaker 2: Warman out, but our fucking life on cut jumpers are
Speaker 2: so nice. Like the quality of them if so good.
Speaker 2: If you haven't got yourself a life and cut jumper
Speaker 2: yet there's still some available and like you know what,
Speaker 2: it doesn't even matter if you don't like the podcast.
Speaker 2: The quality of the jumpers of fucking litty City. I
Speaker 2: was trying to say, then, and let me see it again.
Speaker 2: I had a similar situation in Bali. So we were
Speaker 2: waiting for Gojack and this is also like a reminder
Speaker 2: of the live shows. But we were waiting for a
Speaker 2: Gojack and the Gojack had pulled up. If you haven't
Speaker 2: been to Bali, Gojack is kind of like the Uber
Speaker 2: equivalent over there, right, and you can book a scooter
Speaker 2: or you can book a car. Anyway, we were waiting
Speaker 2: for a car to pick us up, and the car
Speaker 2: had stopped. It was finishing off a trip, and then
Speaker 2: it started again, but the trip hadn't finished, and so
Speaker 2: we're on this tiny little one lane like going on
Speaker 2: one direction and the cars coming down the road and
Speaker 2: we can see it still full, so it hasn't finished
Speaker 2: the drop off. Anyway, the people in the car wind
Speaker 2: the window down and they were like, oh, we're so sorry.
Speaker 2: We got the address wrong. Our addresses just a little
Speaker 2: bit further. And then as they were in the middle
Speaker 2: of the sentence, she was like.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's life on cut.
Speaker 2: And the girl who was in the Gojack.
Speaker 1: Was like, why so sorry? When we talk your Gojack.
Speaker 2: And she got out. It was so cute. She got out.
Speaker 2: She stole your star, She stolent Uber she didn't give
Speaker 2: it back. She stole my Gojack. She loved you, but
Speaker 2: not enough to give you the uber back, which I
Speaker 2: have a lot of respect for. She got out and
Speaker 2: she was like, I'm coming to your Sydney live show.
Speaker 2: So it was very cool. Running into life is in
Speaker 2: BALI who are coming to the live shows?
Speaker 1: That is really cool.
Speaker 2: And this is your reminder that if you don't have
Speaker 2: your live show tickets yet, the shows start in two
Speaker 2: weeks now. Our very first show is Adelaide and it's
Speaker 2: going to be so much fun. And if you haven't
Speaker 2: sent us, you're accidently unfiltered stories. You ask Guncut questions.
Speaker 2: If you're coming to a live show, we want real
Speaker 2: life content. You can remain anonymous.
Speaker 1: You shouldn't.
Speaker 2: We would love to get you up on stage and
Speaker 2: do it all together. But if you want to remain anonymous,
Speaker 2: it's okay. Just come to the shows, get your tickets,
Speaker 2: send us your content. At every single show, we've got
Speaker 2: different guests coming. And if you've been following along on
Speaker 2: Instagram on Life on Cut podcast, you will see that
Speaker 2: we've been dropping. We've been bred caraming the guests along.
Speaker 2: In Adelaide, we have Emily Weir and also Kelly Finlayson.
Speaker 2: Now Emily, you guys might know her from home and away,
Speaker 2: But the reason why I wanted and dancing with the stuff, Yeah,
Speaker 2: she was like the runner up. She was fucking amazzing
Speaker 2: with a salcer, also with her fantastic whipped you with
Speaker 2: her tassel.
Speaker 1: She was so so my god, how did I not
Speaker 1: think of this as if I'm not making you guys
Speaker 1: do a dance off for the live show, fucking brilliant.
Speaker 1: I will do the floss because I have forgotten my
Speaker 1: sulcinering with Emily, and I will do some sort of
Speaker 1: work in the background.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 2: So the reason why I wanted to get em on
Speaker 2: the live show and I was so excited for us
Speaker 2: to interview her is because we were doing like press
Speaker 2: around dancing with the stars, and we were sitting in
Speaker 2: the green room of like the Today Show. Right, and Emily,
Speaker 2: she will stay out late, she will party as hard
Speaker 2: as the rest of them. But when I say party,
Speaker 2: she is completely sober. She doesn't drink, she doesn't do
Speaker 2: any drugs.
Speaker 1: She is stone cold, soberrady, one eighty cleany, but not
Speaker 1: a Meani. I liked Mark in our next jumper, which
Speaker 1: you know, and we've spoken about sobriety quite a bit
Speaker 1: on this podcast. We've done episodes on conscious sobriety before.
Speaker 1: I was kind of shocked when Emily said, I can't
Speaker 1: remember what we were doing.
Speaker 2: Maybe it was like at one of the finals for
Speaker 2: dancing and I was like running aroun with the bottle
Speaker 2: of gin backstage and I was like on a swig
Speaker 2: and she and she was very much like, no, I'm sober.
Speaker 2: And it still struck me as like a bit of
Speaker 2: a oh, like weird, yeah, weird. And I hate that
Speaker 2: I had that reaction because I should know better, but
Speaker 2: I did have this instant like, oh, you don't drink, Okay,
Speaker 2: that's interesting. Anyway, the next day, when we were in
Speaker 2: the green room of the day room, we were talking
Speaker 2: about it, and Emily she said, you know, I never
Speaker 2: would have achieved the things that I've achieved, and I
Speaker 2: would never be where I am now in my career
Speaker 2: or in my personal life if I hadn't stopped drinking.
Speaker 2: And so I am so looking forward to having that conversation,
Speaker 2: a broader conversation around that on stage, because I think
Speaker 2: Emily is she's so she's honestly the life of the party.
Speaker 2: She's so inspirational, and I think her approach to alcohol
Speaker 2: is something that's very, very relatable to a lot of us.
Speaker 1: She's also such a breath of fresh air. She's got
Speaker 1: so much energy, and she's so chatty and she's so happy.
Speaker 1: She's just like one of those people that you love
Speaker 1: to be around. So I'm super excited about that. But then,
Speaker 1: speaking of inspiration, we also have Kelly Finlayson. You guys
Speaker 1: might have heard the episode we did with Kelly a
Speaker 1: little while ago. So Kelly is Adelaide based, and she
Speaker 1: has been battling bowel cancer which spread to her lungs
Speaker 1: stage four for quite a long time. She sort of
Speaker 1: found out immediately after she was pregnant. She had it
Speaker 1: when she was pregnant. So she's got a little girl,
Speaker 1: and we're going to catch up with Kelly and talk
Speaker 1: a lot about what that process is like where she's
Speaker 1: at now because it was spreading and she was trying
Speaker 1: some new alternative treatments. I know you guys loved that
Speaker 1: episode so much. She's also the most positive and bright
Speaker 1: and bubbly person as well. So Adelaide is gonna be
Speaker 1: incredible I'm really looking forward to. Even if you haven't
Speaker 1: listened to Kelly's story, you'll get enough of it at
Speaker 1: the show. But if you have listened to it, there'll
Speaker 1: be plenty of things that are new to follow on
Speaker 1: from it as well.
Speaker 2: But yes, go and get your tickets. It's life on
Speaker 2: cutpodcast dot com dot a you. There is a ticket
Speaker 2: link page on the website and you can get tickets
Speaker 2: to all the shows there. But Adelaide, you are our
Speaker 2: number one baby, and we are coming for you in
Speaker 2: two weeks. All right, it is time for Accidentally Unfiltered
Speaker 2: And Britt has been pissing herself for the last twenty
Speaker 2: five minutes about this one.
Speaker 1: But sometimes I wonder. Sometimes I find things funny and
Speaker 1: I'm like, does anyone else funny? It'sunny? Are my sigo?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 1: Hey, ladies, It's taken me a while to write this
Speaker 1: one in it is a memory I'd rather forget. When
Speaker 1: I was nineteen or twenty, I went through a weird
Speaker 1: phase where my discharge stunk. I must have had BV
Speaker 1: or something and just not known it. But I'm talking
Speaker 1: really bad.
Speaker 2: Obviously.
Speaker 1: I was really self conscious and worried about it. As
Speaker 1: it has never happened to me before.
Speaker 2: Anyway.
Speaker 1: One day I was hanging out with this guy I
Speaker 1: was in love with, and he grabbed my phone to
Speaker 1: google something and my last search result came up. He
Speaker 1: reads it out loud, Why does my vagina discharge stick?
Speaker 1: Ha ha? He had a shocked look on his face,
Speaker 1: And I tell you, my survival instincts kicked in. I said, oh,
Speaker 1: ha ha, very funny, Michael, very funny for googling that Michael,
Speaker 1: and acted unfazed as if our mutual friend Michael, who
Speaker 1: is known as a jokester, had taken my phone.
Speaker 2: You're a good bat.
Speaker 1: I think he believed me and it just got brushed
Speaker 1: aside and never discussed again. But I tell you my
Speaker 1: fight or flight kicked in.
Speaker 2: Good lie, that's a solid like.
Speaker 1: Michael the joke Stop. No, it is not Michael, the
Speaker 1: jokes that took my phone and googled why does my
Speaker 1: life for trying to dischouge stick? As a side note,
Speaker 1: we got an update. There's a side note. I am
Speaker 1: now twenty six and have been with the above mentioned
Speaker 1: bloke for four years. We own properties together and live together,
Speaker 1: and my discharge no longer stinks. My unsolicited advice to
Speaker 1: listeners go to the doctors and delete your search history.
Speaker 1: Happy ending, but the trauma lives on. Wow, but I reckon,
Speaker 1: there'd be so many stories about when something when you've
Speaker 1: googled someone and then you open your phone in that
Speaker 1: person sees it. I feel like it happened to me
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks ago. Actually, I just got a flashback.
Speaker 1: I'll have to sit on that and think who it was.
Speaker 2: I was at work. This is many, many many years
Speaker 2: ago when I used to work an office and I
Speaker 2: remember one of my colleagues opened something on his phone
Speaker 2: and he'd been watching porn.
Speaker 1: Just came as, I reckon, that's really common.
Speaker 2: I reckon, that's really good. All so can I also
Speaker 2: want to say getting BV is also common. Fucking everyone
Speaker 2: has a stint of it at some point in their life.
Speaker 2: Just go and get some antibiotics.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I think the moral of the story is
Speaker 1: here is that like, if you get it, fine, but.
Speaker 2: Go to the doctor.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But the problem is is because nobody ever talks about it.
Speaker 2: No one's ever like I've got back to gagonosis.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: When I was in my early twenties, I hadn't ever
Speaker 1: had it. Oh fuck. It was the worst. I was like, what.
Speaker 2: Vagina sty dead? And my boyfriend at the time was
Speaker 2: a doctor and he was like, you have BV. And
Speaker 2: now it turns out there's been research that's come out
Speaker 2: that it's from them actually catch it from guys and
Speaker 2: he was cheating on me. So you know what, that
Speaker 2: doesn't checks out. That is some but yeah, so just
Speaker 2: like go and get yourself checked because it's like, it's
Speaker 2: not normal to smell that bad, and it's also shouldn't
Speaker 2: be embarrassing, and it's so easy to treat, but it's
Speaker 2: also so easy to ignore. I have one which I
Speaker 2: think is cute, and it's the podcast related. I was
Speaker 2: listening to your episode from quite a while ago where
Speaker 2: you were talking about squirting on the way to school
Speaker 2: pickup in the car. When I got and I started
Speaker 2: walking through the school, I went to open my phone
Speaker 2: and somehow managed to hit play on the podcast, and
Speaker 2: it was right when Laura said, very loudly, well, it
Speaker 2: really depends on how much liquid and what can be
Speaker 2: defined as squirting, And it came out so loud through
Speaker 2: my speaker right in the middle of the school pickup
Speaker 2: when all of the parents were standing there waiting for
Speaker 2: their small children. I fumbled with my phone, trying to
Speaker 2: turn the volume down, but instead I hit the emergency
Speaker 2: call on the home screen. I panicked turned my phone off.
Speaker 2: Everyone was looking at me, and everybody heard that I
Speaker 2: was listening to a podcast about squirting.
Speaker 1: To be fair, that was probably listening to Yeah if
Speaker 1: their mums, I hope, so yeah? And is there not
Speaker 1: you tell them about it?
Speaker 2: Life one God, you live your best squirting life. Do
Speaker 2: nothing to be ashamed of BV and a squirter. That
Speaker 2: is so funny.
Speaker 1: What a way to round that episode out. Okay, well
Speaker 1: should we talk about what the episode is about? Look yet?
Speaker 2: No? Now we shouldn't. We should have just ended here.
Speaker 1: No, look today, I'm really excited to bring you this episode.
Speaker 1: And the reason I say excited is because this story
Speaker 1: is a friend of mine, a friend I went to
Speaker 1: school with, and she has a truly incredible story, and
Speaker 1: she's so passionate and happy and vibrant and positive that
Speaker 1: I just feel like I wanted the world to know
Speaker 1: her story. So her name is Alison Wilcox. Alison and
Speaker 1: her sister, Sally, are three years apart. Alison went to
Speaker 1: school with my sister Sherry in the same year, and
Speaker 1: I was in Sally's year, so like we all have
Speaker 1: known each other a very long time. When Allison was
Speaker 1: only eighteen years old, she was in a really bad
Speaker 1: car accident where she nearly died and she was left
Speaker 1: as a paraplegic. She has since over the years had
Speaker 1: upwards of one hundred operations, all from these secondary conditions
Speaker 1: from the accident. Like it's not like she how the
Speaker 1: accident was done. She's just spent her whole life literally
Speaker 1: since that day in hospital, six months at a time.
Speaker 1: And her sister Sally, who I went to school with,
Speaker 1: has just been like a savior for her. They're best friends,
Speaker 1: they call each other's soulmates. Then they've really looked after
Speaker 1: each other. I recently thought again about Ali's story because
Speaker 1: I saw her on the project talking about this bucket
Speaker 1: list that she's ticking off. She's decided to go and
Speaker 1: travel the world tick a bucket list off because she
Speaker 1: doesn't know how long she has to live. When the
Speaker 1: time comes, she has decided to do voluntary euthanasia. So
Speaker 1: she has decided that she will be in charge of
Speaker 1: when her life ends, as opposed to letting her injuries
Speaker 1: and her body decide whether you know someone or you
Speaker 1: don't hearing somebody that's your age go through that, and
Speaker 1: she was so happy and positive when she was talking
Speaker 1: about it, and I just thought, I just want to
Speaker 1: tell your story, like, let the world know how amazing
Speaker 1: you are for me.
Speaker 2: I mean, I loved speaking to Ali, and I think,
Speaker 2: you know, you nailed it so well Britain saying that
Speaker 2: she's so positive, which I think for a lot of people,
Speaker 2: you think, how could you be so positive when you're
Speaker 2: faced with such adversity. But Ali is the type of
Speaker 2: person that I think she deals with tragedy with dark humor,
Speaker 2: Like it's that whole anecdote of like if you don't laugh,
Speaker 2: you cry. But I think one of the parts of
Speaker 2: this conversation that's so interesting is Allie's speaking about euthanasia
Speaker 2: and what she considers and wants to do with her
Speaker 2: end of life, because it is such a complex topic,
Speaker 2: and she's speaking about it from her own personal experiences,
Speaker 2: but also touching on how that affects her family and
Speaker 2: her parents and her sister. It's a really beautiful chat
Speaker 2: and I think her story is just profoundly incredible.
Speaker 1: Allie welcome to life on cut and I appreciate it. Well, Allie.
Speaker 2: It's always good to start at the bottom and then
Speaker 2: work our way back up from there. We do a
Speaker 2: thing at the start of every interview. It is called
Speaker 2: an accidentally unfiltered story, your most embarrassing story, and I
Speaker 2: hear you have a good one.
Speaker 3: I'll get you to choose which one my first period
Speaker 3: or a nude story.
Speaker 2: My first period, or we go both, but I reckon
Speaker 2: go a nude story.
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, I'm like, I don't know all my
Speaker 3: male friends will listen to this. Within the first weeks
Speaker 3: of being home from the hospital after my accident, all
Speaker 3: my friends were around Port McCrorie and we used to
Speaker 3: party a lot. So we hired a townhouse that was
Speaker 3: up the road from my house, the two story townhouse.
Speaker 3: So we're having a party there and I found out
Speaker 3: they had a spa, which was just a hot spa,
Speaker 3: so I was like, I need to get in there
Speaker 3: would be good for my body. And I was dating
Speaker 3: this Mexican guy at the time, and it was a
Speaker 3: huge language barrier between us, and all he could say
Speaker 3: was mummy and all I said was puppy.
Speaker 1: So we didn't really think, well, that was a great
Speaker 1: connection you guys had.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, like this is good. So we went in
Speaker 3: the spa, him and I and we pretty much skinny
Speaker 3: dipped in the spa and I got out of the spar.
Speaker 3: He lifted me out. He was great, Like all the
Speaker 3: guys I've dated since my accident, they've just been really
Speaker 3: carrying a kind so he would lifted me everywhere. So
Speaker 3: he lifted me out of the spa. And when I
Speaker 3: got out of the spar I realized I didn't know
Speaker 3: how to dress myself. So I was so new to
Speaker 3: my accident, and my mum would dress me for about
Speaker 3: two three years, and I was like, fucka, how am
Speaker 3: I going to put my money so on? How I'm
Speaker 3: going to put my bra on?
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: I slipped my boobchoop dress over and then we went
Speaker 3: back to the townhouse and he piggybacked me up to
Speaker 3: the second floor and we sat on the veranda and
Speaker 3: I was in my wheel and I don't know if
Speaker 3: it was the wine or if it was dark, but
Speaker 3: I started to roll and I didn't realize that there
Speaker 3: was no railing on the brander. Oh my god, I
Speaker 3: fell three meters off the veranda onto the concrete on
Speaker 3: the ground. I rolled out into the road. As soon
Speaker 3: as I hit the ground, my boob tube went up
Speaker 3: and down and went around my stomach.
Speaker 2: Alie, this is messed up.
Speaker 4: Only people in this house party Allie and he was
Speaker 4: at the top and he was screaming, mummy, mommy, and
Speaker 4: I was like, good, my puppy helped me. We were
Speaker 4: screaming so loudly that everyone in this house came out
Speaker 4: and they were just saw me laying slats.
Speaker 3: On the ground nude. And I couldn't sit up or
Speaker 3: do anything at that time. So my best friend raced
Speaker 3: out and like lifted me into my wheelchair and I
Speaker 3: was like, oh Holly, that's the worst.
Speaker 1: We can't love it, Ellie. This isn't a news story.
Speaker 1: That's fux. That's the trauma. You were fell up a
Speaker 1: bony onto the road.
Speaker 3: I was laying on the ground. I was like, if
Speaker 3: I ever become unemployed, I could be a leveler for
Speaker 3: a builder. Gildish to pay me to go into the
Speaker 3: houses and tell the wind the floor's not level.
Speaker 1: Because you'll roll off.
Speaker 3: Yeah. After that, I was like, I need to date
Speaker 3: someone where there's no language barrier.
Speaker 2: I think the best part of this is laying on
Speaker 2: the ground naked screaming mummy Poppy. That is incredible. It
Speaker 2: is incredible. But now I need to hear the period
Speaker 2: story because if it's almost as good as that one,
Speaker 2: I don't know if you can top it.
Speaker 3: So I was a bitch to my mum when I
Speaker 3: was fifteen. I got my period when I was pretty late,
Speaker 3: so he's just surf a lot. So the first day
Speaker 3: I got my period was after school, was like three pm,
Speaker 3: and Mom was like, do you want me to help
Speaker 3: you with anything? And I was like pretty much like
Speaker 3: fuck off, leave me alone. So I put a tampon
Speaker 3: in and then I went out to it and I
Speaker 3: was like, drive me to the beach. You want to
Speaker 3: go for a surf. So she drove me to the
Speaker 3: beach and my boyfriend at the time was out Bodybody,
Speaker 3: and I was like, cool, here's here, it would be
Speaker 3: nice to see him. I feel like crap. So I
Speaker 3: went out and I just caught away, stood up and
Speaker 3: I felt something dropped between my legs and I just
Speaker 3: looked down and there was the most inflated tample like
Speaker 3: it looked like a marshmallow. Speaking on my surfboard. He
Speaker 3: looked at me, he looked at that. He caught a
Speaker 3: wave in never said anything too. And then I got
Speaker 3: in the car to my mom and I explained to
Speaker 3: what happened. She was like, how did that happen? And
Speaker 3: I was like, well, aren't you just supposed to put
Speaker 3: a tampon like in between your lips like a song.
Speaker 3: You was like, no, you're supposed to put it.
Speaker 1: Up like a hot dog dog, like a hot dog.
Speaker 3: Literally, it was like a hot dog.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: It was just awful. And then I was like, I
Speaker 3: should probably be nicer to my mom. She was like
Speaker 3: offering to help me, and I was like, it's off.
Speaker 1: But it's also crazy that at fifteen, through your friends,
Speaker 1: all through school or some signed a chat, you haven't
Speaker 1: been taught how to put a tamp on.
Speaker 2: It on one And you're like, I feel like my
Speaker 2: parents should have told me this at some point prior
Speaker 2: tending to put a tampont in, But also like, how
Speaker 2: did at no point of sex education or like schooling,
Speaker 2: was there not a class where someone said, here is
Speaker 2: a pad and this is a tampon. Just so that
Speaker 2: we know that there's some consistency to the education that's
Speaker 2: going out.
Speaker 1: And the more you actually picture and think about, like
Speaker 1: pulling the lips apart and just horizontally putting tap And
Speaker 1: it was so easy.
Speaker 3: And everyone was saying how hard it was to put
Speaker 3: them in when you first got your parents, and I
Speaker 3: was like, oh, that was too busy.
Speaker 1: She's like, what's everyone talking?
Speaker 2: And that didn't raise any red flags.
Speaker 1: It's so good.
Speaker 3: It must be loose or something. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's so important. I mean, that's a
Speaker 1: really important part of this story. So before your accident
Speaker 1: at Tampon at eighteen, No, before at eighteen, you were
Speaker 1: super active. You were an amazing I remember, like, you're
Speaker 1: an amazing surfer. You served every single day. So tell
Speaker 1: us a little bit about your life before the accident.
Speaker 3: So I was very lucky growing up, Mum and dad
Speaker 3: living at home. They were both chef they both became
Speaker 3: nurses when I was about twelve. It's a very caring environment.
Speaker 3: I have an older sister who's four years older than me,
Speaker 3: and we were both really active. I got into a
Speaker 3: few sports when I was young, but nothing beat surfing.
Speaker 3: So when I was about ten, I got into surfing
Speaker 3: competitively and I did it every day, and I've got
Speaker 3: really good friendships from that. My house was across the
Speaker 3: road from the beach, so I letter you could just
Speaker 3: walk across the road every day and go for a surf.
Speaker 3: And back then I could be at the beach from ten.
Speaker 3: My parents would just let me go do whatever. In
Speaker 3: Port we grew up in a really nice town, really
Speaker 3: good community, so everyone was outside being active. Yeah, so
Speaker 3: I had a really good childhood.
Speaker 2: Alie, how old were you when the accident happened.
Speaker 3: I was six weeks after my eighteenth birthday.
Speaker 2: Can you talk us through what happened that day, like,
Speaker 2: what was the sequence of events.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was going on my first road trip with
Speaker 3: friends out to Narrowbright. We're going to the races. So
Speaker 3: we left on Friday and we're coming home on Sunday.
Speaker 3: So we went to the races on the Saturday, and
Speaker 3: then we left early on the Sunday to get home
Speaker 3: for work and stuff on Monday. And Narraw Brays through
Speaker 3: Welcome Mountain Ranges. So it's about a five hour drive
Speaker 3: west from Port McCrary.
Speaker 1: And they're really windy mountains, aren't they.
Speaker 3: Yeah, really windy and steep, and it's not trees and
Speaker 3: stuff on them. It's just like cliffs. That drop off
Speaker 3: started raining just a little bit, and then everyone was exhausted.
Speaker 3: In the car. I was in the front seat, My
Speaker 3: best friend was in the backseat, she's still my best
Speaker 3: friend to this day. And then the driver she was
Speaker 3: texting and driving. And back then I didn't think much
Speaker 3: of it. I was eighteen. I didn't think that was
Speaker 3: bad or anything. But she looked down at a text
Speaker 3: message and then overcrackt to the car. And then we
Speaker 3: rolled fourteen times off the mountain cliff embankment. And we're
Speaker 3: still pretty far away from Port McCrary, like two hours,
Speaker 3: so it was pretty rural area. So it took three
Speaker 3: hours for an ambulance to come. But yeah, we rolled
Speaker 3: fourteen times down the mountain.
Speaker 1: And so what happened the bottom of the mountain. Had
Speaker 1: you knocked yourself unconscious on the way down or were
Speaker 1: you conscious the whole time?
Speaker 3: Yeah, so on the third roll, I got knocked out.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. That I was thinking, Oh, this doesn't
Speaker 3: happen to my friends or family, will be fine, or
Speaker 3: just be being on the car, and I just envisioned
Speaker 3: us getting out and seeing a small ding on the
Speaker 3: front and being in trouble for crashing. So that's all
Speaker 3: I thought, we were crashing that when we got to
Speaker 3: the bottom, I became conscious and I couldn't breathe, and
Speaker 3: I knew then that something was seriously wrong. I never
Speaker 3: knew exactly how wrong, but when I couldn't breathe, I
Speaker 3: was like, this is not good. Tim climbed over me
Speaker 3: to get out of the car, and she kept saying
Speaker 3: to me, come on, Ali, get out, get out, get out,
Speaker 3: because there was fuel everywhere. I could feel fuel burning me.
Speaker 3: So she was screaming at me to get out, and
Speaker 3: I couldn't even talk because I couldn't breathe. But I
Speaker 3: was saying I can't move, I can't move, help me.
Speaker 3: And then she ended up tearing all the cords in Hello,
Speaker 3: So technically she shouldn't be able to walk. It's one
Speaker 3: of those stories you hear with adrenaline. But she got
Speaker 3: me out, gave me CPR, got me awake, so I
Speaker 3: kept going in and out of consciousness, stop breathing. So
Speaker 3: she got me out of the car and then climbed
Speaker 3: to the top of the mountain and screamed for help.
Speaker 1: And she did that with two torn quad muscles, which,
Speaker 1: like you just said, physiologically, that should mean you are
Speaker 1: not walking around, Like this is what he's connecting your
Speaker 1: need to your hip. You should not be walking. But
Speaker 1: she managed to climb a mountain and find help.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2: Wow, what happened to the driver?
Speaker 3: She was fine, She didn't get any serious injuries. I
Speaker 3: think she was shocked. She just seemed really shocked at
Speaker 3: the accident. I don't remember much of her. I think
Speaker 3: they sat her away, but I remember Kim sitting next
Speaker 3: to me when I was waiting for the ambulance, and
Speaker 3: I had so much blood in my eyes. I kept
Speaker 3: saying to her, you're bleeding, You're bleeding, but it was
Speaker 3: coming out of my brain through my eyes.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, God. And why you said that? You
Speaker 2: felt like, I mean, you couldn't breathe. What was happening
Speaker 2: to your lungs at the time.
Speaker 3: So I broke all my ribs and they went through
Speaker 3: my lungs. So I was slowly drowning in my own blood.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, Elie, So I had like a leader
Speaker 3: of blood in my lungs.
Speaker 1: Were you in pain at that time or do you
Speaker 1: sort of go past the pain threshold? Because you hear
Speaker 1: sometimes people in these intense situations, they don't actually have
Speaker 1: any comprehension of how bad it is.
Speaker 3: I could feel the pain. That's what kept bringing me
Speaker 3: out of my life. When I was unconscious. It kept
Speaker 3: bringing me out, and the police officer didn't know what
Speaker 3: to do with me because I would stop breathing. He
Speaker 3: kept sitting me up, and every time I sat me up,
Speaker 3: I felt my neck collapsed. Oh my god, I could
Speaker 3: feel just pain all over my body. But he didn't
Speaker 3: know what to do. He was the new police officer.
Speaker 3: He was the first one on the scene with all
Speaker 3: emergency services, so I think he freaked out a bit.
Speaker 1: And so what happened when the emergency services arrived? What
Speaker 1: did they do to you? How did they treat you?
Speaker 1: And then how did you get out of there?
Speaker 3: So the ambulance came. I think as soon as they
Speaker 3: saw me, they were like, yeah, we can't take you
Speaker 3: to Port Base.
Speaker 1: God no, Port McCrory Base Hospital. If everyone is like
Speaker 1: ports of retirement towns. I mean, I worked at that
Speaker 1: hospital for ten years. It's equipped for low key emergencies,
Speaker 1: but not something like this.
Speaker 3: So they came and then as soon as they saw me.
Speaker 3: They were like, we need to call a helicopter. So
Speaker 3: the helicopter came from Newcastle. Their ambulance gave me a
Speaker 3: green whistle and they had to lift me up the
Speaker 3: hill and I was having the best time of life,
Speaker 3: Like as soon as they came that kareema, so I
Speaker 3: was like, this is great. Then it took about three
Speaker 3: hours to get there from the ambulance, I think, and
Speaker 3: I had a really lovely helicopter driver. I'm matty sure.
Speaker 3: It was like a pasta. And then I had a
Speaker 3: paramedic and they took me to roll not sure they
Speaker 3: were supposed to stop at John Hunter, but their paramedic
Speaker 3: said I would die if they stopped there because they
Speaker 3: weren't equipped to do with me because it was that bad.
Speaker 3: But usually you get trey yards to John Hunter. So
Speaker 3: I was that bad that they just skipped that and
Speaker 3: they ended up getting reprimanded for that. And like, I'm
Speaker 3: pretty sure the paramedic loss is on in four days
Speaker 3: or something.
Speaker 2: I heard you speak about this. And the paramedic who
Speaker 2: was flying the helicopter he made the decision that he
Speaker 2: was like the Newcastle hospital is just not equipped enough
Speaker 2: and he without the approval and against their wishes, he
Speaker 2: took you to another better equipped hospital.
Speaker 3: I remember them arguing. So it put me into like
Speaker 3: an induced coma in the helicopter, but my pain kept
Speaker 3: waken me out of that. And I remember a nurse
Speaker 3: trying to get me off at John Hunter because that's
Speaker 3: a refiel petrol there, and he was just like, no,
Speaker 3: remember taking arguing about it.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's such an incredible and also a huge
Speaker 2: risk that he took in order to do that. I mean,
Speaker 2: it's probably what saved your life, but also that's such
Speaker 2: a personal risk for his own career, and also you know,
Speaker 2: who knows what could have happened between that flight from
Speaker 2: Newcastle to Sydney.
Speaker 3: Exactly something happened. He had been so much trouble.
Speaker 2: Allison, what's your relationship like now with your friend who
Speaker 2: was driving the car? I asked this because you know,
Speaker 2: at seventeen eighteen, like we all did stupid things when
Speaker 2: we were driving, whether it be texting or driving too
Speaker 2: fast or just not paying attention because we all think
Speaker 2: are invincible. Have you got a relationship with that friend? Still?
Speaker 3: No, we don't talk anymore. I think at eighteen we
Speaker 3: both didn't understand the consequences of what happened. Yeah, so
Speaker 3: I didn't realize what my journey was and she didn't
Speaker 3: realize what her journey would be, So she lost a license.
Speaker 3: But I think our parents made the decision to cut
Speaker 3: contact for the both of us because I think for
Speaker 3: her to see me in a wheelchair every day would
Speaker 3: have been a lot for her. And then also the
Speaker 3: first five years after spinal injury, you go through so
Speaker 3: much mental health issues. So yeah, I think my parents
Speaker 3: made this decision for us. We spoke a couple of times,
Speaker 3: and she apologized, and she was really upset about her
Speaker 3: It must be I mean.
Speaker 1: I can't imagine. I can't put myself in that position,
Speaker 1: but it must be hard for you to hear that
Speaker 1: a part of the reason you're not friends is because
Speaker 1: she couldn't bear to look at you, like she couldn't
Speaker 1: bear the grief.
Speaker 2: There must be a part of you that's like, how
Speaker 2: the fuck do you think I.
Speaker 1: Feel like I'm the one that's now in a wheelchair, Like,
Speaker 1: suck it up a little bit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there was a few things I wanted to do.
Speaker 3: I was like, when I get home, I'll take her
Speaker 3: up for lunch and I'll go to a place to stairs,
Speaker 3: oh and just not be able to get in. And
Speaker 3: I was like, okay, no, that's awful for both of us. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So at eighteen, like now, I don't have any anger
Speaker 3: or I don't feel any emotions at all because I
Speaker 3: know it wasn't out of maliciousness. And I see people
Speaker 3: texting all the time. My friends still text and drive
Speaker 3: and it's just that common, and I know it's such
Speaker 3: a little mistake.
Speaker 1: It must infuriate you though, when it's your friends and
Speaker 1: you're like, this is why I'm like I am now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, can you talk us through? What were the
Speaker 2: injuries that were sustained?
Speaker 3: I got fucked up. Yeah, so I broke nine vertebra
Speaker 3: in my back from C three to T six. The
Speaker 3: biggest one was a burst fracture at T four which
Speaker 3: caused the spinal cord injury. So they set out a
Speaker 3: complete spina cord injury, so that means my spinal cord
Speaker 3: was fully squished. There's no blood in that section. And
Speaker 3: then I broke my collarbone my right hand. I popped
Speaker 3: something behind my eye with it, That's why there was
Speaker 3: so much blood. I broke my jaw. I lost a
Speaker 3: lot of my tea broke on my ribs, punction lungs.
Speaker 1: Was your brain okay? Like could you imagine that you'd
Speaker 1: have a bleed on the brain or something, because it
Speaker 1: sounds like.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, when the car rolled, the car collapse dawned
Speaker 3: to me. And for the first few months they thought
Speaker 3: I had a brain injury because they kept coming in
Speaker 3: and doing all the tests, but I was on a
Speaker 3: lot of drugs. So then they ended up doing the
Speaker 3: test six months after and it came back normal. But
Speaker 3: then I think to myself the amount of times had
Speaker 3: been under anesthetic and medications, like, there's got to be something,
Speaker 3: yeah there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what did your recovery process look like? So when
Speaker 2: you went into rehab and then for how long were
Speaker 2: you in hospital? Like not just your recovery process, but
Speaker 2: like how your family were able to support you through that,
Speaker 2: Like what was that period like post the accident?
Speaker 3: So that was really difficult for my family. My best
Speaker 3: friend Kim called Dad the night of the outset. The
Speaker 3: cops didn't, she did, and he packed me one day's
Speaker 3: worth of clothes because he thought he would be me
Speaker 3: back the next day. So just no, and they drove
Speaker 3: down at nine pm. We crashed at six pm. They
Speaker 3: left sports at like nine or ten pm and got
Speaker 3: there like three am, and I just remember looking at
Speaker 3: my mom. I was on a ventilator by that point.
Speaker 3: I remember looking at my mum as she walked through
Speaker 3: the door and she just collapsed onto the ground and
Speaker 3: she couldn't look at me, so she didn't come into
Speaker 3: the room because I just looked awful, had blood. They
Speaker 3: couldn't clean the blood off me for months because they
Speaker 3: couldn't roll me or move me. And then Dad, he
Speaker 3: was really proactive and like logistical about it, so he
Speaker 3: came in and just started organizing everything. My sister flee
Speaker 3: down the next day. We ended up spending a year
Speaker 3: in hospital. I spent six months in acute spun Award
Speaker 3: and then six months at Royal Rehab in Sydney.
Speaker 1: Did you realize how bad it was before this moment
Speaker 1: or when your mom walked in and she couldn't be
Speaker 1: in the room or look at you. Was that a
Speaker 1: moment where you were like, fuck, this must be worse
Speaker 1: than I thought.
Speaker 3: Well, you don't really understand unless you work in the
Speaker 3: medical field. That's spinal God in dreamings forever, So I
Speaker 3: was like, oh, yeah, I'll just do rehab and it'll
Speaker 3: be fine. Yeah. So I never really understood any of
Speaker 3: it until six months in when I wasn't getting better,
Speaker 3: and like I had so many secondary complications from spinal
Speaker 3: cording injury that I realized I was going to be
Speaker 3: sick forever. So it wasn't until then I just thought
Speaker 3: I'd be doing rehab like a broken leg.
Speaker 2: Yeah. How many surgeries have you now had as part
Speaker 2: of your recovery process?
Speaker 3: Probably over one hundred. So every year I lose function
Speaker 3: in mums, and that due to spinal fluid that gets
Speaker 3: caught on the scar tissue. It's got a SEARINGX that's
Speaker 3: really Red's like three percent of people I could just
Speaker 3: get it. So every I've become a quatriplated for a
Speaker 3: few months and then they drain the fluid and that
Speaker 3: surgery is fifteen hours long.
Speaker 1: So just to be clear on that for those that
Speaker 1: are listening. So Allison's situation is that she can't use
Speaker 1: her legs and she's in a wheelchair. But because of
Speaker 1: this condition, for a few months, you become a quad
Speaker 1: you can't use your arms or anything. They drain it
Speaker 1: and you get the use of your arms again. Correct, Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then that is changing now in the future, they
Speaker 1: can't do those operations anymore, is.
Speaker 3: That right, Yes, So each time that surgery happens, I
Speaker 3: lose a bit more function, and each time they do it,
Speaker 3: I get more and more complications from the surgery. So
Speaker 3: last year I was in hospital for six months. They
Speaker 3: did the surgery, but they couldn't close my back because
Speaker 3: it just won't close anymore. So I had a giant
Speaker 3: hole in my back for six months, and then I
Speaker 3: had a holy my spinal cord, so all my brain
Speaker 3: fluid was leaking out, so my brain was sitting in
Speaker 3: my neck for six months. And then your brain fluid
Speaker 3: kills muscles when it touches it. So my trap in
Speaker 3: my back dyed. All my muscles in my back died,
Speaker 3: so they had to do like a full reconstructor surgery
Speaker 3: on my back. That was six months in hospital laying
Speaker 3: flat with a massive migrain and you could feel my
Speaker 3: brain in my neck. That would happen again, except I
Speaker 3: will end up passing away from it, probably get many
Speaker 3: giitis or an infection after the six months, and they'll
Speaker 3: just never be able to close back.
Speaker 1: So from the next time that that happens, That's what
Speaker 1: they say, the next operation.
Speaker 3: So they put a shunt in every year, but because
Speaker 3: I'm so active, it's just a really complicated secondary complicated,
Speaker 3: like there's only one surgeon that can operate on it
Speaker 3: in the world.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 3: They put a shunt in and then it slides out
Speaker 3: or it breaks, so they have to put a new
Speaker 3: shunt in. So when the next shunk fails, I'll just
Speaker 3: lose function in my arms and then my brain.
Speaker 2: Do you know what that looks like in terms of
Speaker 2: time frame?
Speaker 3: So I usually could only get a year between surgeries.
Speaker 3: The most I've had is like two years back. But
Speaker 3: leave it and go and operate. I'll probably get like
Speaker 3: three or four years. But once the shunk comes out,
Speaker 3: it could either be a slow decline or a pasticline,
Speaker 3: but it'll be very painful.
Speaker 1: And is that what you've decided you do? Have you
Speaker 1: decided to do an operation again when it happens or
Speaker 1: to not do no?
Speaker 3: So the doctor said they don't want to approad, so
Speaker 3: they were there one to make the call as they
Speaker 3: said it to me and just standing at the end
Speaker 3: of the bed and Brad was sitting next to me
Speaker 3: in Sally and they just looked horrified, But in my
Speaker 3: brain I was like, thank god someone said it. I
Speaker 3: would have felt like I failed if it was me
Speaker 3: making the decision, but they made it for me. So
Speaker 3: I was like, finally I can be at peace and
Speaker 3: not do medical stuff all the time.
Speaker 1: Like you were almost relieved, and Brad is your partner,
Speaker 1: You almost relieved that they were saying, don't choose. We're
Speaker 1: telling you we can't operate anymore.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I could find some cowboy neurosurgeon that would
Speaker 3: do it, but it would just go terribly. So the
Speaker 3: best neurosurgeon for this in the world said no more. So. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders.
Speaker 2: Alison, how do you how do you even begin to
Speaker 2: compartmentalize this? Going from being eighteen looking forward to having
Speaker 2: all of you know, whatever the plans were for life
Speaker 2: ahead of you, to then being given this diagnosis that
Speaker 2: seems to just be compounding as the years go on.
Speaker 2: How do you manage to maintain even a glimmer of positivity?
Speaker 2: And I know that you are very stoic about this,
Speaker 2: and you seem to have still so many things that
Speaker 2: you're looking forward to.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so the first five years was really difficult. I
Speaker 3: spent four years in hospital and I just like I
Speaker 3: had a million things go wrong. I've had my bower move,
Speaker 3: I've had a million blooder surgeries, like just a lot
Speaker 3: of stuff do with a lot of chronic pain. So
Speaker 3: as soon as I'm feeling well, I don't know what
Speaker 3: it is, I just feel happy. Yeah, So the days
Speaker 3: I'm feeling good, I have anxiety or depression. I don't
Speaker 3: know why. I think it's like a coping like I
Speaker 3: want to use the day I feel well. So yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm not sure, and I always have something to look
Speaker 3: forward to, and my support system's really huge.
Speaker 1: Well, speaking of your support system, I mean, we'll come
Speaker 1: back to what your future looks like and your plans,
Speaker 1: because your plans sound amazing. But let's go back to Brad,
Speaker 1: your partner. How long have you been with Brad and
Speaker 1: how did you guys meet because we love a love
Speaker 1: story here.
Speaker 3: So Brad was actually captain with Sherry at school. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 3: and he was dating one of my best friends at
Speaker 3: the time. He dated her for eight years and we
Speaker 3: remained friends, been friends since we were twelve. We started
Speaker 3: hanging out a lots about four years ago and I
Speaker 3: got into jet skiing and he was like, oh, I
Speaker 3: could make your hoist to get on the JETSKO went
Speaker 3: home to sell and I was like, this dude can
Speaker 3: make me shit. Knew we how to make me the
Speaker 3: caller stuff.
Speaker 1: I need to keep him around.
Speaker 3: He was like, yeah, she's like you should date him.
Speaker 3: And then my aunt and my sister for like six months,
Speaker 3: every day we're like, you need to date Brad. You
Speaker 3: need to break Brade, and then yeah, I asked him
Speaker 3: on a day and he said he's been waiting for that.
Speaker 3: So it was really sweet.
Speaker 2: I mean, what was it like for you when you
Speaker 2: started dating again after having an accident. I would assume
Speaker 2: that a lot of people might feel a bit insecure
Speaker 2: or a bit worried about, you know, the complications that
Speaker 2: come from even just the mobility side of things. Were
Speaker 2: you ever worried or were you just like, let's do
Speaker 2: this brand.
Speaker 3: As soon as they told me I couldn't walk again,
Speaker 3: I called one of my friends and I said, do
Speaker 3: you think I'll be able to do Doggie?
Speaker 1: Probably if you just lay on your tummy right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I was like, okay, I need to try.
Speaker 1: So I love that that was your first thought ali luck.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think my wheelchair is a good deterrent to
Speaker 3: fuck boys too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, amazing.
Speaker 3: So every man I've dated up to my accident has
Speaker 3: been the most caring human you could find. So I've
Speaker 3: been quite lucky. But yeah, the first year, I just
Speaker 3: went a bit wild. I was a bit worried I
Speaker 3: wasn't gonna be attractive anymore, and I was like really insecure.
Speaker 3: But as soon as I got home, guys that I
Speaker 3: was with before, like, we're asking me on dates and stuff,
Speaker 3: So it was fine and I can still do doggie
Speaker 3: so well.
Speaker 1: I mean that's a question that I think a lot
Speaker 1: of people the dog you one not yeah, the doggie.
Speaker 1: But the question a lot of people probably wonder with
Speaker 1: somebody in your situation is like, I'm not sure exactly
Speaker 1: where your feeling stops.
Speaker 2: Is it from your waist down?
Speaker 3: I have all feeling. So my injury actually is in
Speaker 3: complete and it took me years to work it out.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I lost my wheelchair virginity. When I was
Speaker 3: still in hospital, I had a neck race on and
Speaker 3: my hands in casts, and someone you and I both
Speaker 3: know signed me out of hospital for the night and
Speaker 3: we went to a hotel.
Speaker 1: You need to tell me this.
Speaker 3: Thow me around on il Are you kidding?
Speaker 1: So someone we know came in, kidnapped you from the hospitals, signed,
Speaker 1: fucked your brains out, put you back in the wheelchair,
Speaker 1: willed you back. Yeah, that is that one of got
Speaker 1: to be one of the best. Can't tell me this
Speaker 1: is going to be the greed. I can't wait to
Speaker 1: tell Sherry.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I'm like it was so good. The doctor's like,
Speaker 3: what are you doing? Where are you going? I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: I've just got to go shopping and thatics never came
Speaker 3: back for the night. And then my doctor grounded me.
Speaker 3: She's like, you're not llowed out again. I know what
Speaker 3: you're up to, bitch.
Speaker 1: Let me go and do my things.
Speaker 2: I know what you're up to. You're like, yeah, I'm
Speaker 2: being an eighteen year old, That's what I'm up to.
Speaker 2: I love this because I think that often this, I mean,
Speaker 2: we've spoken to many people in the past who have
Speaker 2: been through disabilities and coming into disability from being fully
Speaker 2: able bodied, and there is this like feeling of insecurity
Speaker 2: or this feeling of like, how am I going to
Speaker 2: date again? How am I going to love again? Like
Speaker 2: and I think there has been many beautiful stories about
Speaker 2: how people have overcome that. But but I love that
Speaker 2: for you that that wasn't a barrier. And I think
Speaker 2: that that's an amazing message because I think we get
Speaker 2: fed this idea that it should be a barrier, and
Speaker 2: I think a lot of it does come down to
Speaker 2: your own perspective and your own feelings around yourself and
Speaker 2: how how you perceive yourself rather than how other people
Speaker 2: perceive you.
Speaker 1: It hasn't slowed Alley Down's just fucking in the hospital.
Speaker 1: I love.
Speaker 3: What's us chatting about this peladay with one of my friends.
Speaker 3: And I don't think it's disability that dops you. I
Speaker 3: think people that were insecure before it just heightens everything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you were this confident, vibrant, active person and
Speaker 1: nothing changed, Like you still do all the things you do.
Speaker 1: You're still dating, you're still fucking, you're still surfing, you're
Speaker 1: still traveling the world. Like your personality persona hasn't changed.
Speaker 1: It's just made it a bit harder.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, do you feel like it's psychologically changed
Speaker 2: anything for you? I mean, obviously it's changed loads of
Speaker 2: things for you physically, but from like a psychological perspective.
Speaker 2: Do you think it's had an impact on your personality
Speaker 2: at all?
Speaker 3: I was a brat before, and I am so much
Speaker 3: more grateful soon as had my accident. I was best
Speaker 3: friends with my parents and we had a really great relationship.
Speaker 3: They passed away. Mom passed away when I was twenty
Speaker 3: one and dad passed away four years ago. But from
Speaker 3: eighteen until then we had a really great relationship. So
Speaker 3: I think it's made me more grateful for things. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and I don't get angry anymore. I think it's like
Speaker 3: helped that a lot. I'm just really calm in all situations,
Speaker 3: so most small things, trivial things, they're not issues to
Speaker 3: me anymore.
Speaker 1: What was that time, like, your family obviously looked after
Speaker 1: you a lot, Sally and both of your parents, and
Speaker 1: then your mom passed away. Is I think it was
Speaker 1: only three or four years after the accident, Is that right? Yeah?
Speaker 1: What was that like to have two out of three
Speaker 1: of the people that literally looked after you pass away.
Speaker 3: I think it was way bigger if I didn't have
Speaker 3: my accident. Mum was my best friend for the first
Speaker 3: four years. It was very lonely because I was that sick,
Speaker 3: being in hospital all the time. All my friends still,
Speaker 3: the world kept turning, but mums didn't. Hers stopped with me,
Speaker 3: So it was very lonely after she passed, and I
Speaker 3: had a sense of guilt after because you could just
Speaker 3: see their stress that she was under. You could just
Speaker 3: see as soon as I had my accident, she wasn't
Speaker 3: the same person and it was a lot for them
Speaker 3: to see me sick all the time. Yeah, so it
Speaker 3: was really difficult.
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry you went through that, Alley. I think, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I mean when I was listening to your story and
Speaker 2: I think when you're a mom, my first thought was like,
Speaker 2: I can't imagine what that would be like as a
Speaker 2: mum to have to see their child suffering so much
Speaker 2: and all you want to do is take the pain away.
Speaker 2: And I'm so sorry that you had to go through
Speaker 2: that with your family. But also it's truly beautiful that
Speaker 2: it's something that brought you and your mum closer together
Speaker 2: and that you were able to have that friendship with her.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm very lucky. I have a very good family.
Speaker 3: Sally and I are inseparable. We can't go a day
Speaker 3: without seeing each other or talking, so it's brought us
Speaker 3: closer too.
Speaker 1: And do you guys live together now or what you're
Speaker 1: set up?
Speaker 3: I'm going to sound like a freak. I lived in
Speaker 3: her garage for a bit, try to save money to travel.
Speaker 1: Hang on, she know you were in the garage or
Speaker 1: did you just like wheel in there and park and
Speaker 1: you're like I'm done?
Speaker 3: You like, yeah, try to kick me out. No, I
Speaker 3: moved across the road and we both decided that was
Speaker 3: too far away.
Speaker 2: Oh that's back into the house.
Speaker 3: And Brad keeps saying it's like everybody loves Raymond, and
Speaker 3: I'm like, it's the best thing ever.
Speaker 1: I actually love that and seeing your bond because I
Speaker 1: try and put myself in that situation and I would
Speaker 1: have done exactly the same thing as Sale has done.
Speaker 1: And I love seeing how close you are and how
Speaker 1: much you both mean to each other.
Speaker 2: Just Brad live with you now as well.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so let's talk about what life is going to
Speaker 1: look like now. So you have been told that you
Speaker 1: possibly have a few years left, which I cannot imagine,
Speaker 1: but it seems like you've taken that in your stride
Speaker 1: and you've made some really big life decisions on what
Speaker 1: you're going to do for the future. What have you
Speaker 1: decided to do with your remaining time?
Speaker 3: I am going to blow all my money, so he
Speaker 3: sold I have, and I'm going to just travel for
Speaker 3: the next two to three years. I fought my insurance
Speaker 3: and got Brad paid as a carer. So now I'll
Speaker 3: be able to go to any country I want and
Speaker 3: he'll be able to care for me. So moving to
Speaker 3: the USA for six months and then down to Mexico
Speaker 3: three a few months, then to Canada. I want to
Speaker 3: learn how to ski or snowboard, and they're going to
Speaker 3: ship over my mountain bike to Whistler and then we're
Speaker 3: going to go to Europe for a year or two years,
Speaker 3: and I want to see everywhere the world. Where people
Speaker 3: always ask me what's on your list? I'm like everything, Well, I.
Speaker 1: Think I said to you, what's on your bucket list?
Speaker 1: There's like three hundred things. Yeah, and have you written
Speaker 1: it all down?
Speaker 2: Like, have you written down like an itemized bucket list
Speaker 2: of the things that you want to do together?
Speaker 3: So I have like Morocco, Turkey, Croatia. It's mainly places
Speaker 3: over experiences like I don't want to go skydiving and
Speaker 3: stuff like that. I just want to explore the world.
Speaker 2: What impact does it have on your relationship with Brad
Speaker 2: when you are so aware of your own mortality? And
Speaker 2: I say this because you know, most of us have
Speaker 2: no idea how much time we have with our partners,
Speaker 2: whereas you have a much greater understanding of what and
Speaker 2: how many years you have left. How does that affect
Speaker 2: the two of you.
Speaker 3: He's caused me morbid all the time because I make
Speaker 3: jokes about it. We talk about youth and asia a lot.
Speaker 3: I'm usually just joking about it. So he gets really upset.
Speaker 3: The first six months after my surgeries last year, I
Speaker 3: couldn't really bring it up without any getting up with sir.
Speaker 3: But all of this happens because he never saw me
Speaker 3: go through something so big. So I've only been dating
Speaker 3: for two to three years and he wasn't that close.
Speaker 3: You have to be family to really understand the impact
Speaker 3: six months of hospital has. So after all that happened,
Speaker 3: he was like, I understand why you are the way
Speaker 3: you are because I can't sit still. I want to
Speaker 3: do a million things. When I'm well, I just travel
Speaker 3: three months the year. So it's like, okay, finally understand
Speaker 3: that and he's on board with it. The start of
Speaker 3: my surgeries last year, he said, for e very week
Speaker 3: you're in here, we can go away for a month.
Speaker 3: And he thought I'd only been there for two weeks,
Speaker 3: and then I was in there for six months and
Speaker 3: I'm like, well, you better keep this because you've promised it. So, yeah,
Speaker 3: he's really on board with all of my plans Now.
Speaker 3: Before he was on board and supportive, but he was
Speaker 3: a workaholic. Now he's not a workaholic.
Speaker 2: Your priority shift.
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you feel like you guys don't fight or
Speaker 1: argue or sweat the small stuff because of that, because
Speaker 1: you know you've got this limited time that you're like,
Speaker 1: why we like, let's not waste our breath.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's like the loveliest person and so supportive. We
Speaker 3: never fight. We're just happy to be hanging out together.
Speaker 2: You spoke about then and said you made jokes about euthanasia,
Speaker 2: But I did listen to you talk about how your
Speaker 2: dad actually signed some sort of documentation around euthanasia. Can
Speaker 2: you talk me through what that was and what that
Speaker 2: looked like for you.
Speaker 3: So around year three, after my accident, my stomach stopped working,
Speaker 3: so I hir like a nasal tube and they're like
Speaker 3: we need to remove your whole stomach. And I was
Speaker 3: so unwell, like to the points like nausey is the worst.
Speaker 3: I just felt like I had a hangover without the
Speaker 3: party book. Yeah, so it was pretty shit. So my
Speaker 3: mum spoke about euthanasia a lot, and he signed me
Speaker 3: up to Belgium and we actually had a date sets
Speaker 3: And then Sally didn't know about it, but she saw
Speaker 3: it on dad's computer and she ended up throwing computer
Speaker 3: across the room and she was like, this is ridiculous.
Speaker 3: So that was It was really difficult at that time
Speaker 3: because I hadn't lived yet where now I feel like
Speaker 3: I've been able to do everything I wanted. But then
Speaker 3: I just I was like twenty one at the time,
Speaker 3: and I was so unwell.
Speaker 1: I can't imagine what that was like for both of you,
Speaker 1: but even a father, I can't imagine for your dad
Speaker 1: to say, like to be brave enough to say I
Speaker 1: love you enough that I will help you sign up
Speaker 1: to let you go. I can't imagine and you coming
Speaker 1: to terms with like I'm so tired and done with
Speaker 1: this that I want to pass away. But I can't
Speaker 1: imagine what your dad was going through that time, and
Speaker 1: I also get I can sort of understand Sally's reaction
Speaker 1: by being really selfish and being like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to let you go.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think my parents were just as worn down
Speaker 3: as me by that point. And yeah, now that I
Speaker 3: have a niece who I love so much, like she's
Speaker 3: my favorite person in the world. Don't tell Sally, but
Speaker 3: she'll probably with her. Yeah, I don't know how i'd
Speaker 3: react if she was that unwell. I could not let
Speaker 3: her do euthanasia, but then I couldn't let her live
Speaker 3: like that. It would be the hardest.
Speaker 2: Was it Sally's reaction that stopped you from going? Hey,
Speaker 2: you said you had a date booked. Was it her
Speaker 2: reaction that made you reconsider?
Speaker 3: No. There was this doctor in the port base. It
Speaker 3: was an odd dude. I went in and I was like, look,
Speaker 3: I'm going to kill myself. I can't keep being this sick.
Speaker 3: And he was like, a cost to me will change
Speaker 3: your life, It will revolutionize your life. And I was like,
Speaker 3: I'm twenty one, I'm not getting a colost to me.
Speaker 3: And I went home for a few weeks and this
Speaker 3: is really disgusting. I started vomiting thown pieces so that
Speaker 3: happened a lot. Yeah, and remember vomiting that and thinking
Speaker 3: maybe this is freaking weird. Doctor's up to something. So
Speaker 3: I ended up going down to Sydney. I didn't do
Speaker 3: it at Port Based. I did at the spinal unit
Speaker 3: and had my stomach removed and the next day I
Speaker 3: felt fine. Wow, like it was just overnight, even after
Speaker 3: a massive surgery. I felt better than I had in
Speaker 3: four years by accident.
Speaker 2: Is it because where your spinal cord was crushed, it
Speaker 2: corresponds to so many different organs? Is that why there's
Speaker 2: been this like ongoing complication.
Speaker 3: So my injury is high. I say it's around my
Speaker 3: nipple level, but that was my nipple level when I
Speaker 3: was eighteen, so it's a bit higher than it is now.
Speaker 3: So it's above all your stomach, and it's also above
Speaker 3: your autonomic nervous system. So my heart and blood pressure
Speaker 3: is controlled lower than that level. So if I get constipated,
Speaker 3: I can have a stroke. So that was one of
Speaker 3: the things that it was like, you'll have a stroke
Speaker 3: or you need a cost.
Speaker 1: To me, how do you feel about euthanasia? Now? I
Speaker 1: know you said you had a date when you were younger,
Speaker 1: but now that you know that there is a time
Speaker 1: limit and you are going to deteriorate, and you can
Speaker 1: tell us about some of the things that they did
Speaker 1: say is going to happen to you. How do you
Speaker 1: feel about euthanasia? Is it something you will relook at.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so, my psych and I talk about it very often.
Speaker 3: I'm okay with it now. I'm not okay with it
Speaker 3: right now because I don't feel unwell and I still
Speaker 3: have energy to do stuff, and I still have arm function.
Speaker 3: But I know that in the next four or five
Speaker 3: years it will be a decision that I would have
Speaker 3: to make, and my family knows what my decision will be,
Speaker 3: which will be I'm going to do euthanasia before I
Speaker 3: suffer anymore. And yeah, it gets discussed a lot. I
Speaker 3: think when you get into the position of even deciding euthanasia,
Speaker 3: it's either go through hell and feel awful or that.
Speaker 3: So it's a pretty easy decision and it's made for you.
Speaker 3: Whereas if you're well and you're like, well, if I
Speaker 3: died tomorrow, that's really sad, but it's sort of bleaker
Speaker 3: either way. After suffering for so long the first five years,
Speaker 3: I wouldn't want to do that again.
Speaker 2: How does your sister Sally respond to that conversation now
Speaker 2: when you talk about it.
Speaker 3: Well, she's got to keep me as a vegetable in
Speaker 3: her house. So hallie, I've made deals with my best
Speaker 3: friends to try and break in and turn off my
Speaker 3: life support. But yeah, she doesn't want it to happen,
Speaker 3: and she'd be fine with it. She sees me stuffer
Speaker 3: every day. I have really bad chronic pain to the
Speaker 3: point like it's really debilitating, and she sees that every day.
Speaker 3: So when it gets that point, should be fine. But yeah,
Speaker 3: she would like to keep me in her house.
Speaker 1: What does it look like for euthanasia? And I asked
Speaker 1: this because it's such a hot debate and I've heard
Speaker 1: so many people talk about it. So many countries don't
Speaker 1: allow voluntary euthanasia and some do. The ones that do
Speaker 1: have this crazy prerequis it where you've you've got to
Speaker 1: go through these psych tests and be of like a
Speaker 1: stable state of mind to do it. Have you looked
Speaker 1: into that enough now that you know how that would
Speaker 1: look for you where you'd have to go? Can you
Speaker 1: do that at home here in Australia?
Speaker 3: No, you can't. My type of illness wouldn't allow it.
Speaker 3: It would only be allowed for terminal cancer. I'm not
Speaker 3: sure what the laws are in Queensland at the moment,
Speaker 3: but I know Melbourne passed it for terminal cancer like
Speaker 3: stage four cancer, so I'd have to do old overseas,
Speaker 3: and the place where i'd do that would be Belgium.
Speaker 3: They've got very loose euthanatial laws, so I'm not sure
Speaker 3: if it's like that now, but when we're looking into it,
Speaker 3: if you had anxiety or depression, you can get euthanase there.
Speaker 1: Which is that is I mean that is crazy to
Speaker 1: me because I feel like that is something that you
Speaker 1: can come out of, whereas your condition is different. You've
Speaker 1: been scientifically medically given a deterioration, Whereas it's pretty crazy
Speaker 1: to think you can go in and say I don't
Speaker 1: feel great today.
Speaker 3: There was one story I read in a Facebook group
Speaker 3: about it. This lady her mom passed away and the
Speaker 3: grief was too bad, so she got euthanized.
Speaker 2: I feel like that is why often it is such
Speaker 2: a hugely debated and controversial conversation, because I think it
Speaker 2: is such a permanent solution, and if it is a
Speaker 2: permanent solution to an impermanent state, then that is why
Speaker 2: I think people feel so so strongly about it. But
Speaker 2: I think anyone who has seen a family member suffer,
Speaker 2: anyone who's seen a family member just waiting to pass away,
Speaker 2: can understand like that that's not a.
Speaker 3: Way to proviy it.
Speaker 2: It's terrificic.
Speaker 3: When I was watching Mum die, the death rattle everything
Speaker 3: about that, and it just looks so painful, And when
Speaker 3: they've become unresponsive, I'm like, what's the point of watching
Speaker 3: them suffer for like a few days a week?
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's also frightening, you know, like you're you're
Speaker 2: so sad for your family member, but also like it's petrified. Sorry,
Speaker 2: it's really petrified. I you know, I did the same
Speaker 2: thing with my grandfather, and you just you're like, what's
Speaker 2: the point? It doesn't make sense. And I think that
Speaker 2: that they're the instances that really when the debate and
Speaker 2: the conversation around euthanasia comes up, that there is an
Speaker 2: understanding there yea.
Speaker 1: In your head, how do you know when the timing
Speaker 1: is going to be right for something like that? Like
Speaker 1: what needs to be happening to you and in you
Speaker 1: for you to decide, because it's also not I mean,
Speaker 1: fuck Allie, I can't even imagine it, like the preparation
Speaker 1: that you have to do, like you have to travel
Speaker 1: over somewhere to do it, and not like you can
Speaker 1: wake up and say today's the day. I feel like
Speaker 1: it like this is Yeah, I can't fathom even asking
Speaker 1: the question. I'm like, how do I even ask you
Speaker 1: that question?
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think once I get to a point where there's
Speaker 3: no quality of life, then the decision will be made.
Speaker 3: But until then, it'll be on the raid and it'll
Speaker 3: be talked about. So I think the final decision when
Speaker 3: there's no quality of life, and as you said, you
Speaker 3: have to travel overseas for it, so it's going to
Speaker 3: be such a drawn out process where obviously I'd prefer
Speaker 3: to do it here with all my family and friends
Speaker 3: around me. But yeah, so the process of just getting
Speaker 3: overseas being that unwell, doing all the paperwork, Yes, it.
Speaker 1: Will be a lot, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3: A lot of my family too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it'll be so much for your family. And I
Speaker 2: also think that there must be some sort of comfort
Speaker 2: in the fact that this is a conversation that has
Speaker 2: been ongoing for a long time, even if that comfort
Speaker 2: isn't brought to you know Sally or Brad now, but
Speaker 2: knowing that it's not something that you made a decision
Speaker 2: lightly on, it's something that you've really been considered about
Speaker 2: in terms of how you want to live out your life. Als,
Speaker 2: what's your number one? You have this beautiful bucket list,
Speaker 2: and you have all these places that you're going to visit.
Speaker 2: What's the most important thing to you over the next
Speaker 2: couple of years.
Speaker 3: Eight? Great Mexican food.
Speaker 1: Honestly, there is no better.
Speaker 3: Try not to get typhoid or no.
Speaker 1: The food in Mexico. You'll realize you've never had proper Mexican.
Speaker 1: Like the Mexican that we do here is rubbish.
Speaker 3: If they make minced packet Mexican, I'll be really upset.
Speaker 1: How has that Because you've actually traveled a lot, You've
Speaker 1: been to a lot of countries. Okay, two questions. What
Speaker 1: are some things you wish people would know or like?
Speaker 1: What has traveling been like? Is it just ten times
Speaker 1: more difficult to do anything? You have to plan so
Speaker 1: far ahead.
Speaker 3: Oh man, this trip that I've been planning. My insurance
Speaker 3: company has been fighting me so much so just to
Speaker 3: go overseas. They said they'd cover my medicare and then
Speaker 3: last week they said they wouldn't. So going to the US,
Speaker 3: you obviously need good medical insurance, but also booking hotels,
Speaker 3: like you can't book a wheelchair accessible hotel online, you
Speaker 3: need to email the hotel bookis don't legally have to
Speaker 3: keep your room. So I five book a wheelchair accessible
Speaker 3: hotel through them. I could rock up and not have
Speaker 3: a roll in shower. So it's truly difficult. I've gotten
Speaker 3: really good at like on airbm looking at zooming on
Speaker 3: the windows and looking out to see if it's a
Speaker 3: two story building or a one story building.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So yeah, it takes like four hours to book one
Speaker 3: hotel and then the airlines home. A wheelchair gets broken,
Speaker 3: a lot jet starts paid me out twenty grand, so
Speaker 3: far from breaking you. And sometimes I'm not even allowed
Speaker 3: on the plane because you're only allowed two people disabilities
Speaker 3: on the plane at once, so if they accidentally bought three,
Speaker 3: you get kicked off.
Speaker 2: Is that true?
Speaker 1: I did not know that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a lot. When I first had accident, I
Speaker 3: got home and I remember having a full mental breakdown
Speaker 3: because I realized society wasn't built for me, the world
Speaker 3: wasn't built for me, and From that point, I realized
Speaker 3: how hard my life would be, but it's worth it,
Speaker 3: Like I get a lot of joy and I feel
Speaker 3: really proud of myself once I planned a really big
Speaker 3: trip like this and I'm there and everything's going okay. Also,
Speaker 3: you just need to roll with the punches, like sometimes
Speaker 3: I can't after a few days because.
Speaker 1: Sorry Brad hour.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like Brad just carries me in there.
Speaker 1: And who pays for Because this is a question I
Speaker 1: was clocking in and I've worked in the hospital system.
Speaker 1: I don't even know. When you have had fourteen years
Speaker 1: of these operations and hundreds of operations, who's paying for them?
Speaker 1: Do you have to pay for a certain amount or
Speaker 1: does it government?
Speaker 3: So it goes through the oh comprehensive insurance, So in
Speaker 3: New South Wales, instead of getting conversation, go to the
Speaker 3: government and then they decide what they'll pay for, so
Speaker 3: all of it's covered. But I still probably spend ten
Speaker 3: twenty grands just for medical curve, like I have to
Speaker 3: pay for AMRI the other day, and as you know,
Speaker 3: I had like six different places there are aremorrowing in
Speaker 3: my back. It's just two thousand dollars. So like it's
Speaker 3: all the little things that are. It's such an We're
Speaker 3: very lucky in Australia. Oh, Medicare covers a lot. I'm
Speaker 3: legally not allowed to get Medicare as it was from
Speaker 3: a car accident. So I get a Medicare bill every year.
Speaker 3: But they're pretty good. If I don't pay it, they sort.
Speaker 2: Of let its lie. But it's just it's so incredibly
Speaker 2: unfair and it's so discriminatory in itself that people who
Speaker 2: are suffering with chronic pain and chronic illness from accidents
Speaker 2: or from injury, that they are still out of pocket.
Speaker 2: Because often these are people who are now no longer
Speaker 2: able to work because of their injuries, and yet they
Speaker 2: still have to fork out these insane amounts of money
Speaker 2: to be able to live a life or to have
Speaker 2: better mobility. It is such an unfair system. Even though
Speaker 2: it is one of the better ones, it is still
Speaker 2: not fair.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Alie, what is something that you would want to
Speaker 1: leave people? Like, what's a message right now that you
Speaker 1: want people to know? It could be an affirmation, a
Speaker 1: quote you live by, your biggest life lesson that you've
Speaker 1: learned since going through this, Something that people can sit
Speaker 1: there right now and will change the way they think
Speaker 1: that's a.
Speaker 2: Big bish they've actually thought about it.
Speaker 3: Sally. I was just laughing because Sally always says when
Speaker 3: people ask her that ten out of ten fun all
Speaker 3: the time, and I'm like, Okay, that's a good one
Speaker 3: to live by. No, if you could change something and
Speaker 3: you're not happy, change it and do the things you enjoy.
Speaker 3: Like if you're not happy with your job, get a
Speaker 3: job you enjoy, or study something you really want to study.
Speaker 3: If you have the opportunity to do so, you should
Speaker 3: do it. Don't let your own thoughts stop you. Your
Speaker 3: life is your life. You don't have to do what
Speaker 3: society thinks. As long as you're not hurting anyone else,
Speaker 3: you can do whatever you want in this life.
Speaker 2: Alice, when it comes to disability, what do you think
Speaker 2: is the biggest misconceptions that people.
Speaker 3: Hold that we can't do doggie, that's a wrap that
Speaker 3: we're depressed. That would be the biggest one. Everyone always
Speaker 3: thinks I should be depressed all the time, but it's
Speaker 3: not the case. Sometimes I live a better life than
Speaker 3: some of my friends. Why do you think that is
Speaker 3: mental health?
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, we cannot understaate, like what a resilient
Speaker 2: person you are, and how for all the things that
Speaker 2: you've been through that you can have the incredible mindset
Speaker 2: that you do have. It's been a privilege to have
Speaker 2: a chat with you today and for you to share
Speaker 2: your story. But also, I don't think anyone should have
Speaker 2: to listen to somebody's challenging story to be able to
Speaker 2: appreciate the things that they have in their life that
Speaker 2: are just not so bad. I don't think we should
Speaker 2: have to draw those comparisons. No, but we do. But
Speaker 2: I think that sometimes people do need that reality check.
Speaker 2: And you know, I love that you say that there's
Speaker 2: this understanding, all this thought that people who have a
Speaker 2: disability are depressed, when it's simply just not the case.
Speaker 2: And that's such an ablest view. It's people who take
Speaker 2: for granted their own abilities and they think, well, if
Speaker 2: I was like that, I would be depressed, and that
Speaker 2: I think really minimizes the feelings and thoughts of people
Speaker 2: who have to deal with disability every day.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, Allie, when you're off on your adventure, I
Speaker 3: leave in a week today, probably right now I'll be
Speaker 3: on my plot. So genuate a motherfuckers?
Speaker 1: Is that what you're saying to people? Because you did
Speaker 1: have a I actually, well, I saw you how to
Speaker 1: go in away party and you sort of said, like,
Speaker 1: I realized there are some people I might not ever
Speaker 1: see again.
Speaker 3: I've been cranking a few of my friends, telling them
Speaker 3: that I got to delete everyone's numbers and I don't
Speaker 3: want to talk to anyone, and they've been really sad
Speaker 3: messaging me every day. Be friends, don't worry.
Speaker 1: I am so stoked for you, and I just hope
Speaker 1: you have the best couple of years literally that you
Speaker 1: can possibly have and enjoy every second. And there's going
Speaker 1: to be some fucking tumultuous moments, I'm sure, but it
Speaker 1: sounds like you've got a wondful trip plan. Well, you know,
Speaker 1: we never finished an episode without our suck and our
Speaker 1: sweet the highs and the lows. Lord, do you want
Speaker 1: to kick it off with your suck?
Speaker 2: I feel like you're throwing it to me because you
Speaker 2: are still.
Speaker 3: I could do it.
Speaker 2: I'm yeah, bring it.
Speaker 1: Baby, Okay, Okay, Well I've only been back for one day,
Speaker 1: so my suck can only be with the last day,
Speaker 1: and my suck will be that just that. I'm super jetlagged.
Speaker 1: I was up all night. I feel wired. I was
Speaker 1: like you know, when you're lay there and you're like sleep, sleep,
Speaker 1: you gotta go up before our sleep sleep. And I
Speaker 1: was just like, I can't sleep well on the phone
Speaker 1: to band on friend Sheridan. So my jet LAG's probably
Speaker 1: worse than it's ever been. There, suck.
Speaker 2: I don't relate to this. I'm like a fucking what's
Speaker 2: the right word?
Speaker 3: You wouldn't?
Speaker 1: Can you tell me you're telling the story?
Speaker 2: I an anomaly. I don't really get jet lagged. I've
Speaker 2: never experienced like a wide away in somnia jet lag.
Speaker 1: You get on a plane, you barely sat down, and
Speaker 1: you're asleep. I've never seen anything like. It doesn't matter
Speaker 1: what it is, how it is, what the position is.
Speaker 1: You could have five dogs and kids next to you
Speaker 1: and you get on and you pass out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I could be on that plane where there was
Speaker 2: the fighting dog and I would sleep the whole time.
Speaker 2: I don't if you haven't seen that article, there was
Speaker 2: a couple who got sat next to a dog that
Speaker 2: farted the entire plane ride, and now they want a refund.
Speaker 1: I could have slept through that. I could sleep through anything.
Speaker 1: What's the difference with the dog fighting and humans fighting?
Speaker 1: Humans always fight on planes. You don't go and get
Speaker 1: a refund and see the guy next to me farted.
Speaker 2: You would ask to move though, wouldn't you?
Speaker 1: I did?
Speaker 2: I have been sat on a plane with the person
Speaker 2: in front kept faring anyway? Did I sat in their
Speaker 2: fart for six hours? Sat breathing in their fart in
Speaker 2: a little air conditioned tin can? So my wait, did
Speaker 2: you say to sweet?
Speaker 1: I'm sweet? My sweet was just geting home to little Delilah.
Speaker 2: Squidlet Burger, who produced a Keisha took care of for
Speaker 2: the week.
Speaker 1: Keisha had it for two weeks, and I still he
Speaker 1: missed and producer Keisha looks after her like a bloody princess.
Speaker 1: But I really missed her. So does that mean that
Speaker 1: when she comes back, she's like, I not you again?
Speaker 1: Pretty much?
Speaker 2: She has a take me back to Keisha's house.
Speaker 1: She doesn't know who her mum is. Yeah, we know
Speaker 1: that Keisha breaks the rules with her. That's why Keisha
Speaker 1: lets her do whatever she wants. I put these strict
Speaker 1: rules on and Keisha's like she didn't like it, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, she's a dot.
Speaker 2: Keisha's sitting here looking like she's been victimized. But I
Speaker 2: did see you walk her without her thinking on at one.
Speaker 1: Point all the time. And Keisha takes her swimming every day,
Speaker 1: so like she loves it. She's like she's on dog vak.
Speaker 1: She lives her best life. Anyway, that was my sweet
Speaker 1: Do you know what it is? And when you think
Speaker 1: about it, Keisha's just the cool auntie. Yeah, she's one
Speaker 1: hundred percent. I'm the disciplinarian and she's the Keisha's the
Speaker 1: one that lets to do any.
Speaker 2: Keisha's the cool drunk art that everyone wants to hang
Speaker 2: out with. Okay, my suck for the wig is that Lola.
Speaker 2: I am usually Lola's favorite, right that kid. She is
Speaker 2: hardwired to me. I am like her soul and my
Speaker 2: soul are conjoined. We do everything together. She is going
Speaker 2: to attached many issues, but y yes, she is as
Speaker 2: attached and she loves me and we are the same.
Speaker 2: She's still pretty much hanging out of my womb. That's
Speaker 2: how attached we are with.
Speaker 1: You, Hernia Herniated. No, with my pro labs. She's hanging
Speaker 1: on to my pro lab still. She's trying to get
Speaker 1: back in my womb.
Speaker 2: So I came home from this trip seven days, first
Speaker 2: trip away from the kids, like decent trip, especially international trip.
Speaker 1: She didn't care.
Speaker 2: As soon as I was out of eyesight, she abandoned
Speaker 2: me for Matt. She was like, oh, that parent's gone,
Speaker 2: now I need to go to the next one, and
Speaker 2: attached to them. She's literally hanging off Matt's uterus, waving
Speaker 2: around off his testicles, trying to get back in there.
Speaker 1: I think that's okay. She needs some independence.
Speaker 2: That's not independence. She has a new favorite.
Speaker 1: No, but that's normal. And you always go through favors
Speaker 1: with parents, especially girls. Favorite are usually the dad that's
Speaker 1: like across the board.
Speaker 2: I know, and that's why I have held on to
Speaker 2: being Lola's favorite for so long. And I know because
Speaker 2: it was always the case, right Like Marley had a
Speaker 2: transition when she was like two, she became Daddy became
Speaker 2: the favorite, and Daddy's been the favorite ever since. But
Speaker 2: Lola and I, I am the favorite. And I got
Speaker 2: home and even last night when she was in the bar,
Speaker 2: she's like, no, Daddy, do it, Daddy, do it? Go away, mummy,
Speaker 2: Daddy do it. She didn't want me to put in
Speaker 2: a bed nothing. Shouldn't you embrace her?
Speaker 1: No, because you don't come back.
Speaker 2: It makes me feel really sad. It makes me feel
Speaker 2: really rejected. I came home and all I wanted. I
Speaker 2: even bribed them with lollies and toys and stuff, and
Speaker 2: she still was like, Daddy, open it, Daddy, do it.
Speaker 2: I was like, you ungrateful little shit. I didn't say that.
Speaker 2: I was like, come back to me here. I am
Speaker 2: told me like, Daddy's gone away. You've locked him in
Speaker 2: the basement.
Speaker 1: It's just mummy home now.
Speaker 2: Daddy went for a run and I was like, Daddy's
Speaker 2: left you, He's gone now. He said he doesn't want
Speaker 2: to be Daddy doesn't love you, Laura too far.
Speaker 1: I didn't say that period a. Look, we've spoken about.
Speaker 2: This my sweet for the week, though, is I mean
Speaker 2: I just got back from a week in Bali. That
Speaker 2: is my sweet for the week. Honestly, sometime that was
Speaker 2: the rule.
Speaker 1: I didn't know we could go from our sweep from
Speaker 1: the last week. Obviously mine was sex with Ben. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would have hoped that that was I thought we
Speaker 1: was starting just from yesterday. No, it's from the.
Speaker 2: Week prior, Like, I don't know, okay, sex Ben, one
Speaker 2: day of Sweet.
Speaker 1: And Delilah, sex with Ben and then coming home to
Speaker 1: Las not sex with Delilah, sex with Ben Comma space,
Speaker 1: and also seeing Dalilah grammar, okay, punctuation.
Speaker 2: All right, Look, my sweet for the week is I
Speaker 2: felt really worried about going away and spending so much
Speaker 2: time without the girls, And like I said earlier, I
Speaker 2: do feel like I have to justify. You know, it
Speaker 2: was for work, and it was a work trip and
Speaker 2: we worked every single day. But that is what my
Speaker 2: sweet was. It was so amazing to have serious quality
Speaker 2: time to focus on getting through work for Tony May.
Speaker 2: And also just like going with my sister, who's my
Speaker 2: other business part Like, you know, my sister and I
Speaker 2: are both business partners on Tony May and being able
Speaker 2: to focus. And when you're a working mum and your
Speaker 2: concentration is always split across parenting and working, you often
Speaker 2: feel like you're not doing any job well right. You
Speaker 2: feel like you're doing a shitty job at your work
Speaker 2: and a shitty job at parenting and just a shitty job,
Speaker 2: and that always leads you feeling a little bit defeated.
Speaker 1: I had a.
Speaker 2: Week where I actually felt like I did such a
Speaker 2: fucking good job at my job for one week, And yeah, sure,
Speaker 2: I had kind of like almost completely checked out of
Speaker 2: parenting except for a few crazy ass facetimes. But I
Speaker 2: think it's really important that as mums and as working mums,
Speaker 2: we allow ourselves those opportunities to be able to tap
Speaker 2: back into what's important to us alongside parenting, because I
Speaker 2: think often dads can do it. I mean, I see
Speaker 2: my sister's husband goes away on work trips quite a
Speaker 2: bit because his job requires it, and I don't think
Speaker 2: that we have the same expectations around the guilt that
Speaker 2: we feel when it comes to a dad traveling for
Speaker 2: work verse when a mum has to do it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I just I really enjoyed it.
Speaker 1: It was a really amazing What I'm hearing is every
Speaker 1: month you need to go away from a week to BALI.
Speaker 1: That's that's the message I'm geting.
Speaker 2: Anyway, guys, that is it from us. We will be
Speaker 2: back on Thursday with our Ask Uncut. If you have
Speaker 2: any amazing ask Guncut questions, any big, deep, juicy, saucy,
Speaker 2: ah sexy dilemmas, we will answer them. Also, just a
Speaker 2: little reminder, it is the podcast Awards coming up and
Speaker 2: we would love it if you love the podcast to
Speaker 2: go and jump into the show notes on today's episode,
Speaker 2: there'll be a link there you can go and vote
Speaker 2: for Life on Cut in the Listener's Choice award. And
Speaker 2: we're begging you. No, we're not be cool cool we are.
Speaker 1: Because we don't ever get nominated for anything. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: we need to got that cuts so deep. I know
Speaker 1: that we don't ever get a nomination in our category.
Speaker 1: Like we try so hard, we just never get You
Speaker 1: gotta laugh right.
Speaker 2: No, because it doesn't matter. It's you know, that's all
Speaker 2: the bureaucracy and the politics of matters.
Speaker 1: The Li's Choice.
Speaker 2: Is the only award that fucking matters. And that's why
Speaker 2: you're like, guys, if you love the pod, go vote.
Speaker 2: We would love you forever. And also, Britt will give
Speaker 2: you a puppy. I know you say that every year.
Speaker 2: People know I don't give them puppies. It's been four
Speaker 2: years you've said we give puppies out.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And for the people who voted four times, eventually they
Speaker 2: will receive four puppies. That's gonna be a real handful.
Speaker 2: Nothing worse than no one's pupping this dog.
Speaker 1: But also you can vote from multiple emails, So if
Speaker 1: you have a university email, if you have an old
Speaker 1: school hot mail. Have you voted, ge Laura?
Speaker 2: Yeah, the more emails you vote from, the more puppies
Speaker 2: you get.
Speaker 1: And that is from us guys. Yeah nah, but I
Speaker 1: will Laura, that vote could be the decider.
Speaker 2: I'll vote now.
Speaker 1: And from Tony mate, don't forget to your mum, Doy, Dad, Doe, dog,
Speaker 1: two friends and shann love because.
Speaker 2: We love them.
Speaker 1: If we lose by one vote, you're fine. What are
Speaker 1: you gonna do this podcast with myself? Hey, guys, that's Brett.
Speaker 2: Just Keisha's just waiting in the wings.
Speaker 1: She's like he no, Britt and Kisha Okay, bye by baby.
Speaker 2: Can A the Company A.
Speaker 1: Thea al Bay, the