Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
Speaker 1: the Order Kerney Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through.
Speaker 1: As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and
Speaker 1: the storytelling of you to make a difference for today
Speaker 1: and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
Speaker 3: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
Speaker 4: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
Speaker 4: Millennials who want Financial Freedom. Today is Friday, which means
Speaker 4: it's time to get the team together or as many
Speaker 4: of us as we can find, and celebrate you the
Speaker 4: incredible She's in the Money community. Today, all we sharing
Speaker 4: my favorite money in Beck is going to be sharing
Speaker 4: her best broke tips, and we're going to be unpacking
Speaker 4: something that you slid into our DMS about which this
Speaker 4: week is all about covering the cost of last minute
Speaker 4: wedding guest cancelations and that one got very very juicy,
Speaker 4: very quickly to stick around. If you're listening today knowing Victoria,
Speaker 4: you sound so different or yes, you make that joke
Speaker 4: every time Victoria is not here. Surprise Victoria is missing,
Speaker 4: poor dol. She's got bronchitis, so she probably also doesn't
Speaker 4: sound like Victoria either right now, sound like.
Speaker 5: A weathered man, really raspy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, little I love it when you have that like
Speaker 4: last day of sick, little little bit of.
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, I love a bit of last day
Speaker 5: of sick raspiness. Yeah, need to silver lining for sure. Yeah,
Speaker 5: so she's that to look for to you. But sadly
Speaker 5: she's not here. So Beck and I are holding down
Speaker 5: the fort this week. But we hope you bear with
Speaker 5: this and enjoy regardless.
Speaker 4: How is your week?
Speaker 2: Than it was really nice. It's been really nice.
Speaker 5: As you know, as I was mentioning off air, this
Speaker 5: week has been top of mine right now is I'm
Speaker 5: trying to get jacked. So lots of gym love, lots
Speaker 5: of pub, lots of going out.
Speaker 2: I'm just living life.
Speaker 5: I'm a dream so excited, it's almost Christmas.
Speaker 2: It's just good vibes all round.
Speaker 5: Yeah, great week, and this is really insensitive for me
Speaker 5: because I know your week already a weef.
Speaker 2: Oh no, I just I totally forgot. But how was
Speaker 2: your week?
Speaker 4: I don't even know how honest to be, I had
Speaker 4: like the worst twenty four hours ever. I flatted my
Speaker 4: house by my own fault. I left the bath running
Speaker 4: because I was just doing a million things, and as
Speaker 4: you guys know, I'm renting, so I felt extra just
Speaker 4: terrible because it's not my house to ruin. Not that
Speaker 4: you want to ruin any house, but like I feel
Speaker 4: extra bad because it's not mine. So that happened. And
Speaker 4: then the same day, my car battery stopped working, so
Speaker 4: I had to replace the car battery. Obviously, when I
Speaker 4: flooded the house, I used every available piece of material
Speaker 4: to mop up the water. It was, when I say it,
Speaker 4: like I flooded the house like it. I did a
Speaker 4: really good job of it, which the one time you'd
Speaker 4: really preferred to do a shitty job or something, I
Speaker 4: really nailed it. So I like every sheet, every towel,
Speaker 4: every pillowcase, like anything that was made of fabric. Every
Speaker 4: blanket was on our floor. And so our bath tarby
Speaker 4: is currently full of wet items that I need to launder.
Speaker 4: And then I was doing like my eighth float of
Speaker 4: laundry for the day yesterday, and the washing machine started leaking,
Speaker 4: so yes, that was going really well. And then I
Speaker 4: broken ale just to really cap it off, broken ail
Speaker 4: and ripped a dress. Was like, and this is all
Speaker 4: in the space of twenty four hours, and I just
Speaker 4: I can't take any more.
Speaker 2: Like that is so weird.
Speaker 5: I want to know what your co star is saying,
Speaker 5: what are your horoscopes saying, Like maybe there's something in
Speaker 5: the air, Like why is this all happening to your.
Speaker 4: Own I don't know, but I feel like it's because
Speaker 4: I'm an idiot, and I just it's been like this
Speaker 4: all happened at the start of the week and it's
Speaker 4: just colored the rest. And I know that, you know,
Speaker 4: there are much worse things happening, and there are people
Speaker 4: that have it so much worse than me. But I
Speaker 4: found it really hard to pull my head out of
Speaker 4: my ass a little bit and snap out of it.
Speaker 4: And this is so silly. We had to take our
Speaker 4: Christmas tree down because it was in the area that flooded,
Speaker 4: and when I flooded everything, I was home alone, and
Speaker 4: so my tactic was get everything out, so like em
Speaker 4: deal the rooms, get all the furniture, everything off the
Speaker 4: floors so I could mop everything really properly. And we
Speaker 4: paid for someone obviously to come and do the best
Speaker 4: as they could, and of course we obviously have spoken
Speaker 4: to our property manager, like this isn't a secret or anything,
Speaker 4: but I got everything out. But I took down the
Speaker 4: tree and I haven't put it back up because I
Speaker 4: was like, well, presumably someone's gonna have to come repair
Speaker 4: the floors, and I don't want to make their life
Speaker 4: harder by having more stuff out, so I put it away.
Speaker 4: And now I feel sad and enjoy of Christmas is
Speaker 4: just gone a little bit. Like I I found it
Speaker 4: really hard. If you follow me on Instagram, you would
Speaker 4: know that I've been going hard on Christmas, Like I've
Speaker 4: been decorating. I've been having lots of fun, living my
Speaker 4: best life, and then like I took down the tree
Speaker 4: and I just had this really really bad twenty four
Speaker 4: hours and I've just gone. It's just it's like the
Speaker 4: mat I feel like the Grinch.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that my ic is gone.
Speaker 4: I feel really sad and really stressed and very silly
Speaker 4: for feeling sad and stressed and flooming my house. Like, ultimately,
Speaker 4: I think my frustration stems from the fact that I
Speaker 4: know that it's all my own fault. Sure, Like if
Speaker 4: I just hadn't been stupid, Oh.
Speaker 5: My gosh, it was so avoidable. Is that like a
Speaker 5: hundred per Yeah, yeah, I get you.
Speaker 2: I get you.
Speaker 5: Yeah, there's no worse feeling when something is so inconvenient
Speaker 5: it ruins several days of your life.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know you could have avoided it. Wowow.
Speaker 5: But also like you do put a lot of effort
Speaker 5: into Christmas decorations. I mean it looks amazing, so I
Speaker 5: get it, and you're so considerate for being like I'm
Speaker 5: going to have a beer lound room, yeah, just in
Speaker 5: case someone needs to come in.
Speaker 4: And yeah, the house is very sad looking. That's okay.
Speaker 2: All they say. Once you hit rock bottom, there's nowhere
Speaker 2: to go but up.
Speaker 4: Oh god, if someone hasn't up for me right now,
Speaker 4: I would love to hear it totally rock bottom.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I was going to say, I don't know how much
Speaker 4: worse it could get, but I need something would touch
Speaker 4: because I just well, so yeah, I don't know anyway,
Speaker 4: moving right along, Yes, sorry for trouble dumping on the listener.
Speaker 2: No, you're allowed.
Speaker 4: This is a safe space, happy place. Let's talk about
Speaker 4: some money wins.
Speaker 2: Yes, good idea.
Speaker 4: My first money in this week is a goody. It
Speaker 4: comes from Heather. She's feeling very on brand with you,
Speaker 4: very in sync with you this week, Beck, She said, Camart,
Speaker 4: I've been donating to the gym aka not going because
Speaker 4: I'm a lazy girl who struggles to leave my house
Speaker 4: to exercise. So I brought the gym to me. I
Speaker 4: set up under my house and just watch YouTube workouts.
Speaker 4: She's bought all of her little bits and pieces from Kmart.
Speaker 4: She's got some weights and a matt and some other
Speaker 4: things that I don't even know what you do with.
Speaker 4: But good on new queen. And she said, this cost
Speaker 4: me under one hundred dollars compared to forty dollars a
Speaker 4: week for a membership that I wasn't even using. It's
Speaker 4: super fun and I feel comfortable in my own home.
Speaker 2: That's amazing.
Speaker 5: And came out have some really good like exercise equipment.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I have some weights and stuff from them, and
Speaker 4: they like cute pastoral colors and I mean like a
Speaker 4: weight is away right, Like how totally? But it's always
Speaker 4: a little bit nice when it's pretty one hundred percent. Next,
Speaker 4: I've got a money in from Chloe who said I
Speaker 4: tore a hole in my jeans and instead of buying
Speaker 4: a new pair, I've bought an iron on repair patch
Speaker 4: for five bucks from Spotlight. The hole is not obvious
Speaker 4: at all, and I get longer wear out of the jeans.
Speaker 2: That is cool. And also those little patches, they're kind
Speaker 2: of cool. They're fine.
Speaker 4: You can get like smiley faced ones and stuff. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I'm assuming she just got one that goes behind because
Speaker 4: she said you can't even really see it, But I mean,
Speaker 4: how good. And you spend so long breaking your jeans
Speaker 4: in There is nothing worse than buying a brand new
Speaker 4: pair of jeans when you've got your favorite one that yeah,
Speaker 4: fity perfect and.
Speaker 2: They're just fitting right.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: But also holes are kind of in fashion. I don't know,
Speaker 5: actually I don't know fashion.
Speaker 4: But it depends where they are and it depends how
Speaker 4: old you are.
Speaker 2: That's true.
Speaker 4: That's because if you are someone they made that joke,
Speaker 4: how did you pay half pricey jeans because half of
Speaker 4: them is missing?
Speaker 5: Okay, that is boomer, but I really think it's kind
Speaker 5: of funny.
Speaker 4: I appreciate that rated top points from Beck. Next, I've
Speaker 4: got a money win from Lisa, who said money win.
Speaker 4: I really wanted a pedicure, but I didn't have time
Speaker 4: to go to the foot in foot out, so I
Speaker 4: don't even know what that sounds A cola, No, it's
Speaker 4: is the pedicurest place. But I don't really know what
Speaker 4: put in the foot out me. I've never had a pedicure.
Speaker 4: I'm not educated. But she said, instead, her sweet seven
Speaker 4: year old daughter did her toes at home for her.
Speaker 4: She saved some money and little miss loved doing the painting.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 5: And she's probably training up to be maybe her full
Speaker 5: time pedicurist.
Speaker 4: Literally, get the girl some YouTube videos, basic tool and
Speaker 4: put her to work.
Speaker 2: What else are kids for?
Speaker 4: Literally, if you know what I mean, labor within the home,
Speaker 4: you went home within the home of course. Next, I've
Speaker 4: got Natalie who said money win. During Black Friday, I
Speaker 4: went on shop back just to have a look, and
Speaker 4: I saw Expedia were doing thirteen percent cash back on
Speaker 4: hotel bookings, so I booked myself four nights in London
Speaker 4: in a hotel I had previously looked at for twelve
Speaker 4: hundred dollars. I got it on sale for six hundred
Speaker 4: and ninety and I got thirty five dollars cash back chuching.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, go off coin. That is so good.
Speaker 2: I like the casual.
Speaker 4: I booked myself four nights in London.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, that's well worth it. If you get thirty
Speaker 5: five bucks back.
Speaker 4: That's it. And she got the thing half price as well,
Speaker 4: so that sounds.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is actually really really cool.
Speaker 4: Lastly, I've got a money win from Shelby, who said
Speaker 4: I received this email from my real estate and I
Speaker 4: was honestly so shocked that this happened. The money from
Speaker 4: one week of my rent will pay my Airbnb for
Speaker 4: my Melbourne troop to see Taylor Swift honestly so generous,
Speaker 4: and she's popped in a screenshot and this email from
Speaker 4: her real estate agent says, guys, hope you've both been
Speaker 4: doing well. The owner would like to gift you one
Speaker 4: week of free rent for the Christmas period to say
Speaker 4: thank you for being great tenants.
Speaker 2: That is so nice.
Speaker 4: How lovely is that? It's so nice, so thoughtful and
Speaker 4: consider and obviously not everybody can do that, but if
Speaker 4: you are in the position too, what a lovely, thoughtful thing,
Speaker 4: and how nice to say thank you to your tenants
Speaker 4: for me and good tenants presumably not flooding your house.
Speaker 2: Yes, ideally, ideally, that is really lovely.
Speaker 4: That's everything that I've got this week.
Speaker 5: Okay, Well, if you don't mind, may I share my
Speaker 5: brogue tips?
Speaker 2: I would like nothing more.
Speaker 5: Okay, So this week I have obviously two from the community,
Speaker 5: one from myself. So the first one comes from Christy
Speaker 5: who has basically said that she found this really cool app.
Speaker 5: It's called half Price, and it basically just shows you
Speaker 5: everything that's half priced in woolies and coals in particular
Speaker 5: for the week, so you can just add them to
Speaker 5: the shopping list and go off. Just next time you're
Speaker 5: in the shops, before you go in, just sit in
Speaker 5: your car for a little while, go in half Price,
Speaker 5: see what's going on, try and like plan your week out.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I just think that's the most convenient thing ever, Like
Speaker 5: I had no idea this existed, So I'm absolutely going
Speaker 5: to download this as soon as we finish up here.
Speaker 5: Half Price just in case you didn't get that. Okay.
Speaker 2: The next one comes from Ebony.
Speaker 5: I really like this one because she's saying, like, obviously
Speaker 5: it was Black Friday sales not too long ago, and
Speaker 5: a lot of people are upgrading their televisions, their fridges.
Speaker 5: I don't know all their appliances and stuff. It is
Speaker 5: a little bit cheeky. So basically, instead of buying everything
Speaker 5: that is on sale, even if you need to upgrade
Speaker 5: your own home appliances, your TVs or whatever, other people
Speaker 5: are going to be selling those things when they upgrade.
Speaker 2: So what we're going to be doing is not buying
Speaker 2: anything in store.
Speaker 5: We're going to be going on Marketplace, on gum Tree,
Speaker 5: on all these other resale places and looking for people
Speaker 5: who are selling their still.
Speaker 2: Good, but now upgraded everything.
Speaker 5: I keep saying TV, but I'm talking about you know whatever,
Speaker 5: microwaves to people sell microwaves, I'm sure they do. Yeah,
Speaker 5: put all the little things in your house so you
Speaker 5: feel like you need to upgrade, don't buy it brand new.
Speaker 5: Wait for other people to do that for you and
Speaker 5: sell their own things.
Speaker 4: Honestly, Yeah, absolutely, that's so smart. I have done that.
Speaker 4: I want the vacuum now I'm selling old vacuum, Yes, exactly.
Speaker 4: Why not pick up a bargain and you don't need
Speaker 4: the newest top of the line whatever, like an old
Speaker 4: grade is still just going.
Speaker 2: From point A to point B totally.
Speaker 4: That is such a good tip.
Speaker 5: Yes, and it's always you know, it's a little bit cheaper,
Speaker 5: it's a little bit more affordable whatever.
Speaker 4: Just circular economy too. Such a big fan of the
Speaker 4: circular economy.
Speaker 2: Reduced through recycle exactly.
Speaker 4: Same. What about your broke tip?
Speaker 2: So my broke tip.
Speaker 5: I don't know if you've heard about this, and I
Speaker 5: also don't know if it's just in Melbourne.
Speaker 2: I'm sure it's in other places as well, but here
Speaker 2: we have what's called rough trade. Have you heard about
Speaker 2: rough trade?
Speaker 5: No? So it's this Facebook group. Try and check it
Speaker 5: out and see if you haven't a equi where you are,
Speaker 5: maybe Sydney, wherever you are. But in Melbourne we do
Speaker 5: have a rough trade. And what I used to do
Speaker 5: is if I was like really broke one week, I
Speaker 5: would be like, okay, let me look around my house
Speaker 5: and I'm going to put up a random desk chair.
Speaker 5: What you can do is because sometimes if you actually
Speaker 5: sell that on marketplace, you don't get much money, maybe
Speaker 5: like ten twenty bucks whatever. It might not be actually
Speaker 5: worth anything, but you put it on rough Trade. You say, hey, guys,
Speaker 5: here's an office chair I want to swap for soy milk, coffee,
Speaker 5: grinds rice, And you go in and you basically say
Speaker 5: what you want to swap your whatever it is for, and.
Speaker 2: You get it.
Speaker 5: So I've gotten so many things over my time. I've
Speaker 5: been like, oh my gosh, I like have to go
Speaker 5: to a dinner party tonight and I have no dessert,
Speaker 5: So I'm swapping my microwave for an entire krock and bush,
Speaker 5: you know what I mean. Like, you know, obviously that's
Speaker 5: like a crazy example, but really rough trade is so good.
Speaker 5: You might find people wanting to trade for nothing. They
Speaker 5: might be like, hey, guys, just take this off my hand,
Speaker 5: I don't need it whatever. Same as like the free
Speaker 5: section in like gum Tree or Marketplace or whatever.
Speaker 2: But with this it's.
Speaker 5: More, you know, you can actually use, you can actually
Speaker 5: see what you're getting out of it, you know. So
Speaker 5: I would recommend that if you're having a week where
Speaker 5: you literally just can't afford groceries, find something in your
Speaker 5: house that you want to trade for a bag of rice.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just something, you know what I mean. So trade
Speaker 2: in Melbourne.
Speaker 5: I'm sure there are equivalents elsewhere. I would recommend that
Speaker 5: just if you're going through a tough time and have
Speaker 5: some things around the house that you could get rid of.
Speaker 4: That's really cool. Does that exist on that page? To
Speaker 4: people also trade skills? That's a very good question, because
Speaker 4: you could do. We're having this conversation in our friend
Speaker 4: group because my partner is are physio and our friends
Speaker 4: will just be like, oh, like community exercises, and of
Speaker 4: course I'm always happy to but I was saying it
Speaker 4: works really well because like one of our other friends
Speaker 4: is a plumber, and I was like, well, when my
Speaker 4: toilet wasn't flushing, I was asking Daniel, how do I
Speaker 4: fix this? I didn't want to pay someone to come out,
Speaker 4: so it would be really cool if you could do
Speaker 4: the same thing. I don't know if on rough trade
Speaker 4: or even within your friendship group. It's like sharing skills,
Speaker 4: I think right now, when we're all super strapped for cash,
Speaker 4: being like, hey, like I need someone to come and
Speaker 4: replace all my light bulbs.
Speaker 2: I'll pay you in cookies.
Speaker 4: Or you know, I'll design a beautiful piece of artwork
Speaker 4: for you, because obviously you're an artist, so like I
Speaker 4: could trade you a piece of artwork for your help
Speaker 4: or something like that. Like, I feel like that if
Speaker 4: it doesn't exist, it would be very cool if it
Speaker 4: did exist.
Speaker 2: That is a great idea. I really think you're under something. Yeah,
Speaker 2: try to flop that up.
Speaker 4: Yeah, definitely, zero skills set, just a fun idea.
Speaker 5: Yeah, definitely. Yess that's a great idea.
Speaker 4: All right, Well there we go.
Speaker 5: Let's go on a quick break and try and actually
Speaker 5: develop this app while where over a tea?
Speaker 2: Are you comfortable with that?
Speaker 4: Yeah, let's set a time. Be right back.
Speaker 5: Yeah, welcome back everyone. This week, we are skipping money
Speaker 5: Dilemma because I worry that it's maybe a little bit
Speaker 5: triggering for you considering the amount of money dilemmas you
Speaker 5: are currently going through.
Speaker 2: But we also thought.
Speaker 5: Maybe we'd just like wait for VD because I don't
Speaker 5: know she might be I don't want I don't want
Speaker 5: to have fomo.
Speaker 4: We wanted to weigh in.
Speaker 2: We wanted to wait in.
Speaker 5: You know, I think that leaves us with the DM,
Speaker 5: the juicy, juicy DM that I don't know about you.
Speaker 2: This is all I look forward to. Yes, let's go.
Speaker 4: There's lots to unpack this week. So our DM this
Speaker 4: week says, Hey, Tim, I have a dilemma. Forew I'm
Speaker 4: having an interstate wedding next week. I gave everyone a
Speaker 4: Save the Date one and a half years ago and
Speaker 4: formal invitations in January this year. Most people formerly a
Speaker 4: RSVP By July. It's now one week out from the wedding,
Speaker 4: and I have already given the confirmed numbers to the
Speaker 4: venue and paid the outstanding amount, which was eighteen six
Speaker 4: hundred dollars. Within the last week. Ten guests who had
Speaker 4: previously rsvped that they were coming have now canceled, citing
Speaker 4: that it's too expensive for them to travel into state,
Speaker 4: and I am scrambling to cover their seats. Otherwise I'm
Speaker 4: effectively wasting two thousand dollars. Is it reasonable to request
Speaker 4: that they cover these costs themselves? How do I ask
Speaker 4: them without sounding like an asshole?
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, this is a good one. Weddings are
Speaker 2: so expensive.
Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, so I guess. So she's not literally losing
Speaker 5: two thousand because she's already paid for it, but there
Speaker 5: will be literally ten seats that are not wasted.
Speaker 2: Yes, that is such a tough one, I would say.
Speaker 5: I guess it is on the people that are literally canceling,
Speaker 5: like a week out. I feel like that's that's that's
Speaker 5: really not okay, that's quite rude. Even if the wedding
Speaker 5: was in state, how do I say that? Not interstate?
Speaker 5: In state, state at home, at home basically, but I like,
Speaker 5: I just don't think canceling that close to the wedding
Speaker 5: anywhere it is, no matter what the situation is, is
Speaker 5: ever really okay. It just doesn't feel good. It feels
Speaker 5: a little bit like, I don't know, you're really putting
Speaker 5: some people out. So, but requesting the money is a
Speaker 5: real tough one. Maybe just I would I would explain
Speaker 5: the situation to them and be like, hey, this is
Speaker 5: what's happened. Like a lot of people are canceling now
Speaker 5: because they can't afford it, which is totally fair.
Speaker 2: Would you be willing to just chip in?
Speaker 5: Or their wedding present might be one hundred bucks in
Speaker 5: a card or something like that, you know, but I
Speaker 5: guess because they can't afford to go into state, they
Speaker 5: might not be able to afford to chip in. So
Speaker 5: that's where we are left. I would just I would
Speaker 5: simply just ask the question. I would present them with
Speaker 5: my dilemma. Yeah, see what they say, Yeah, you never know.
Speaker 4: Do you think that they would have known more than
Speaker 4: a week in advance that they weren't going to be
Speaker 4: able to afford to go on this trip?
Speaker 2: You would think so, Yeah.
Speaker 4: Because if they've RSVP'd, they got to say the day
Speaker 4: a year and a half ago, seth a year and
Speaker 4: a half that they potentially could have spent saving and
Speaker 4: then RSVPs would you in July and we're now in
Speaker 4: almost or we are in December? Oh my gosh, we're
Speaker 4: in December.
Speaker 5: Whoa.
Speaker 4: Well, so they've had five or six months to save.
Speaker 4: Do you think at some point prior to the week
Speaker 4: before the wedding they probably could have gone, oh, it
Speaker 4: looks like it's not going to work financially.
Speaker 5: Probably unless they had a Jessica Ricky kind of night
Speaker 5: with flooding and everything disaster.
Speaker 2: But surely you'd you would everything.
Speaker 4: That's what I was gonna say. Would not have booked
Speaker 4: your accommodation and your transport prior to like, you wouldn't
Speaker 4: be booking it the week before?
Speaker 2: Surely?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 5: True, they probably did know purposely didn't book Yeah, and
Speaker 5: then a week out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true. Actually, that's kind of sneaky.
Speaker 4: I think it's the weak out thing that's bothering me
Speaker 4: because I can understand if you had rsvp'ed yes at
Speaker 4: the start of the year. Twelve months is a long time,
Speaker 4: you know. I understand that there is a financial burden
Speaker 4: to travel into state, but I also think, like, could
Speaker 4: you have started working into a budget and you're totally right,
Speaker 4: like as I have seen this week, when things come
Speaker 4: up like unexpected expenses, people are only human. However, I
Speaker 4: would have thought that you would kind of be planning
Speaker 4: and preparing a lot sooner to the point where you
Speaker 4: would have known a lot sooner if it wasn't going
Speaker 4: to work. Yeah, And for ten it's not one person
Speaker 4: has bailed on this way and gone, oh, I'm so
Speaker 4: sorry my house flooded. I can't like I need to
Speaker 4: sell my flights or something.
Speaker 2: Ten people is a lot of.
Speaker 5: People, Yes, So the chances of that kind of being
Speaker 5: everyone's same situation, it's kind of I'm like, if you
Speaker 5: got to a week out of a wedding, you realize
Speaker 5: you didn't have any money, maybe you flooded your apartment,
Speaker 5: maybe all these things came up and you had to cancel.
Speaker 2: Would you be willing to cover the cost of your
Speaker 2: own seat.
Speaker 4: I think so absolutely, Like when I like with not
Speaker 4: to make it all thatt me, but when I flooded
Speaker 4: the house, I said, we'll pay for the insurance excess,
Speaker 4: like that made sense.
Speaker 5: True.
Speaker 2: Well, if you couldn't afford to go over to go.
Speaker 5: Into state and you were actually like scrambling for money, like,
Speaker 5: would you still cover your seat?
Speaker 4: I think I would say. If I physically didn't have
Speaker 4: the money to give right now, I think I would say, Hey,
Speaker 4: I'm so sorry, Like this emergencies come up, I don't
Speaker 4: have the money to travel. I would love to cover
Speaker 4: my seat. Can I pay it back to you within
Speaker 4: the next three months? Or can I pay it back
Speaker 4: on an install a plan or as soon as I
Speaker 4: get back on my feet, can I pay it? Would
Speaker 4: be the first thing that I would want to say,
Speaker 4: because to me, I would want to be communicating to
Speaker 4: the person getting married. I don't want to put you out,
Speaker 4: like I understand that you've paid for me. I understand
Speaker 4: that this has happened. You know, I don't want to
Speaker 4: put you on the back foot because of my emergency
Speaker 4: and whether or not I can cover that right now
Speaker 4: totally depends on your situation, but I think that there
Speaker 4: is an element of responsibility if you have committed to
Speaker 4: going to something, they've invested in it financially too. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and that's where I kind of I know it's hard
Speaker 4: because it's the bride and groom of chosen to get
Speaker 4: married in to state, But I think you had the
Speaker 4: opportunity to say no, You had the opportunity to say
Speaker 4: if it didn't come up last minute. I do think
Speaker 4: there is an element of responsibility on you to help
Speaker 4: with those like that financial situation.
Speaker 2: I do agree. I actually agree.
Speaker 5: But you were saying before, when you were just skimming
Speaker 5: through the responses, your mind kind of change because right
Speaker 5: now I think we're both like the person canceling should
Speaker 5: be paying for this seat, whether it's now, whether it's later.
Speaker 4: Yes, all right, well let me tell you first. We
Speaker 4: did ask a couple of questions. He said, do you
Speaker 4: think the guests should have to cover the cost due
Speaker 4: to their late cancelation? Fifty one percent yes, because they
Speaker 4: aresvp'ed attending. Forty nine percent said no, they clearly don't
Speaker 4: have the money to pay, so almost a perfect split,
Speaker 4: which is okay. Then we said, if yes, would you
Speaker 4: take action and ask for the money. Seven percent said yes,
Speaker 4: I would ask for the cost of the entire seat.
Speaker 4: Twenty nine percent said yes, but I would just ask
Speaker 4: for a percentage of the cost. Sixty three percent said no,
Speaker 4: I would just accept it as a loss and move on. Okay. Next,
Speaker 4: we asked, if you were the guest who canceled late,
Speaker 4: would you be happy to pay back the cost of
Speaker 4: your seat. Fifty three percent said yes and forty seven
Speaker 4: percent said no, so again very close to an even
Speaker 4: Sapit close. Then we said, have you ever been invited
Speaker 4: to a destination wedding and had to say no due
Speaker 4: to the cost of travel and a com Fifty three
Speaker 4: percent said yes, forty seven percent said no, which is
Speaker 4: totally understandable. It is expensive to travel. And lastly, we said,
Speaker 4: if you said yes, how did the people having the
Speaker 4: wedding respond? Eighty six percent of people completely understood, ten
Speaker 4: percent of people said they were disappointed and expected to pay.
Speaker 4: Four percent of people said they were offered to cover
Speaker 4: the cost for them.
Speaker 2: Oh, that's nice.
Speaker 4: Which is very nice. And then we of course asked
Speaker 4: for your two cents, and there was a really very
Speaker 4: much like the poll. Responses were super duper split kind
Speaker 4: of in one camp or the other. So let me
Speaker 4: read a couple to you. One person said, she's paying
Speaker 4: the same whether they come or didn't come. It's not
Speaker 4: going to cost her anything, so why should they have
Speaker 4: to pay, which is kind of what you said at
Speaker 4: the start.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I see.
Speaker 4: Someone else said, I don't understand why they have only
Speaker 4: worked out a week out that it's too expensive. It
Speaker 4: is so rude to cancel that late. If it was
Speaker 4: four months ago, it would be different. It's the timing
Speaker 4: of it. Yes, someone said, this is extremely late. The
Speaker 4: cancelation is the issue, no stress. If they were up
Speaker 4: front early. Someone else said, they chose to have a
Speaker 4: destination wedding. The responsibility is on them. It's a big
Speaker 4: ask for the people attending.
Speaker 2: But oh, they gave so much notice.
Speaker 4: That's for me a year and a half, assuming that
Speaker 4: they put in their save the date that it was
Speaker 4: going to be an inter stay wedding, which is a
Speaker 4: lot of time for somebody to prepare. Someone suggested that
Speaker 4: maybe they could invite more guests to cover the seats
Speaker 4: so that you're not awkwardly asking for the money. But
Speaker 4: you still have people filling in, so it kind of
Speaker 4: feels like a little bit of an even out, although
Speaker 4: if you got an invite to a wedding the week before,
Speaker 4: you'd probably know that you were a seat filler, which
Speaker 4: is again potentially a little bit awkward.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I see, I see.
Speaker 4: Someone else has made the point that maybe they could
Speaker 4: afford it previously, but with the cost of living going up,
Speaker 4: maybe they can't afford it anymore, although I do still
Speaker 4: kind of wonder when were they planning on booking their seat.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's the thing that keeps a current theme.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 4: A couple of people made good suggestions on potential resolutions.
Speaker 4: One person said, I wouldn't be surprised if these guests
Speaker 4: still gave them a present. Isn't the gift exchange typically
Speaker 4: what you pay to cut the cost of your seat,
Speaker 4: So perhaps they will still give them the gift. Someone
Speaker 4: else said, I was curious to get my partner's thoughts
Speaker 4: on this. We both thought to suggest a cash gift
Speaker 4: contribution to the honeymoon house whatever's next in their absence
Speaker 4: kind of takes the edge off asking to pay for
Speaker 4: the seat outright, but can also be a choice of
Speaker 4: how much to contribute and could easily be put towards
Speaker 4: covering the costs of the seat. What do you sit
Speaker 4: on wedding gifts?
Speaker 5: Actually, because that's another yes, exactly. My My biggest gripe
Speaker 5: about people being in love.
Speaker 2: Is I don't want to be paying for hen's party gifts.
Speaker 5: Maybe you don't have to get a present for that,
Speaker 5: but you do have to pay your for your dinner.
Speaker 5: You to pay a big amount for like whatever you're
Speaker 5: doing that night. You have to pay for an engagement
Speaker 5: party gift, You have to pay for wedding gift.
Speaker 2: You have to pay for maybe a baby gift. So
Speaker 2: many presents.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I just want to stick to birthday presents
Speaker 5: or Christmas presents. I don't like wedding gifts. Yeah, I
Speaker 5: get the idea. I don't like him. Sorry, hate it.
Speaker 4: I feel weird about cash. And I really understand. I
Speaker 4: understand the cat. You know, people say, contribute to our
Speaker 4: wishing well or something like that. I understand that. You know,
Speaker 4: as the person throwing the wedding, you're probably like, well,
Speaker 4: I'd rather have the cash than a cash roll dish.
Speaker 4: And I understand that, but something about it feels very
Speaker 4: transactional to me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I always get.
Speaker 4: Really caught up because it's so clear the amount that
Speaker 4: you're giving as well, because if you buy a gift,
Speaker 4: maybe you can purchase something nice to get it on sale,
Speaker 4: or maybe you can make them something beautiful that's worth
Speaker 4: a lot emotionally but maybe not financially, or there are
Speaker 4: all of these different options, but to me, it really
Speaker 4: feels a bit like cards on the table. I think
Speaker 4: your wedding is worth one hundred.
Speaker 2: Shops, Yes, exactly.
Speaker 4: It feels a bit uncomfortable to this.
Speaker 2: I totally agree, And.
Speaker 4: It's hard in this situation because we don't know how Oh.
Speaker 4: I suppose you could do the math, actually, but these
Speaker 4: guests probably don't know exactly how much the seed is.
Speaker 4: So I think regardless, she's going to have to have
Speaker 4: a conversation with them in some way, shape or form,
Speaker 4: and I don't really know what the right way to
Speaker 4: approach that is. Someone did suggest checking out Deerman Skill
Speaker 4: demon Skill d ar M a M. Apparently it's a
Speaker 4: communication tool from therapy. This was sent in shockingly by
Speaker 4: a therapist and they said there's a great app called
Speaker 4: the Dime Game which can help them work out how
Speaker 4: assertively they should ask oh, which I don't know anything about.
Speaker 4: What this is. But I do like the idea of
Speaker 4: kind of figuring out where to start the conversation because
Speaker 4: it is one of those things. I feel like you
Speaker 4: could come in a bit too hot, yes, especially if
Speaker 4: you're upset, which sounds a bit like our listener might be.
Speaker 4: If you come in all guns blazing, like, look, not
Speaker 4: coming to the wedding, pay for your seat. And there
Speaker 4: were a few people responding saying one of two ways,
Speaker 4: either you know, do you value this friendship is it
Speaker 4: worth getting into a fight over? Or people saying kick
Speaker 4: them to the curb girlfriends like they're clearly not a
Speaker 4: real friend.
Speaker 5: Keep ten friends to the curves. That's aubcision. That's a
Speaker 5: big loss.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's really hard.
Speaker 5: I think ideally, the people who aren't coming anymore, they
Speaker 5: will give a hoefully cash gift that will contribute to
Speaker 5: the wedding, so she doesn't feel like she's missing out
Speaker 5: on too much. Maybe the seats will go unsat in,
Speaker 5: but she wouldn't have got that money back regardless, I imagine. Yeah,
Speaker 5: so they're they're not there, it all comes out in
Speaker 5: the wash. Hopefully she gets some cash gifts, yeah, and
Speaker 5: everyone feels okay.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and maybe It is about having a nice conversation, Yeah,
Speaker 4: communicating and saying I understand if you're having a hard
Speaker 4: time financially. I don't want to put any pressure on
Speaker 4: you. You know. I wish that you had been able to
Speaker 4: tell me sooner, because now I am out financially. I've
Speaker 4: spent two hundred dollars on your seat that will now
Speaker 4: be empty or something of the sort. And maybe that
Speaker 4: also will help to make them aware of the impact
Speaker 4: that they're having, because they might not realize that she's
Speaker 4: paid for their dinner and all of those kinds of things,
Speaker 4: and those costs add up very quickly.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, maybe that's the nice way to approach it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: think it's so true.
Speaker 4: I feel like that's all I've got to give today.
Speaker 4: What about you?
Speaker 2: I think same same. I feel very satisfied with this
Speaker 2: happy frayya.
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Speaker 4: have the absolute best weekend and VD will be back
Speaker 4: bright and early on Monday with a money diary for you.
Speaker 4: Why guys see letter.
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