1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:03,520 Speaker 1: Here's a name you probably know, Jeff Hutchison. Good morning. 2 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:04,200 Speaker 2: Jeff. 3 00:00:04,240 --> 00:00:07,000 Speaker 1: Of course, did the drive program and ABC Radio for 4 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:07,920 Speaker 1: a bit. 5 00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:10,880 Speaker 2: A bit in the morning program for a bit longer. 6 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,240 Speaker 2: And I'm trying to think how many times I played footloose. 7 00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:14,120 Speaker 2: Probably not a lot. 8 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:16,400 Speaker 1: N No, it's all right. We've played it enough to 9 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:19,160 Speaker 1: make up for the other side. 10 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:20,320 Speaker 2: There. It's a favorite. 11 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:23,720 Speaker 1: Jeff has a book out. It's called How Not to 12 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:27,479 Speaker 1: Become a Grumpy Old Bugger. It sounds funny, it looks funny, 13 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:30,480 Speaker 1: and it probably is in part funny, but it's not. 14 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:32,760 Speaker 1: Don't be fooled. This is not just a straight up 15 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,240 Speaker 1: comedy book, is it, Jeff. This is a cautionary tale. 16 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:36,320 Speaker 2: It's a question convinced me. 17 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:38,880 Speaker 3: Here, Jeff, I've got my notes hand ready because I 18 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:41,080 Speaker 3: think I might be heading down there shorthand now. 19 00:00:41,159 --> 00:00:43,080 Speaker 2: Because you've got a notepad, it tells me that you 20 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:46,519 Speaker 2: probably accumulate grumpy moments, and a lot of us do, 21 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:49,440 Speaker 2: and a lot of men do. Okay. It's almost as 22 00:00:49,479 --> 00:00:52,360 Speaker 2: if it's this self fulfilling idea that there's a pothole 23 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:54,760 Speaker 2: outside the front of our house, and you know, the 24 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:57,440 Speaker 2: council wont file but you have to go and stand 25 00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:00,760 Speaker 2: at the window every day and go, and then at 26 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:02,240 Speaker 2: the end of the day you look at your partner 27 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:04,680 Speaker 2: and go, they haven't filled it. I haven't filled it. 28 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:07,000 Speaker 2: But you're back there the next day just to be 29 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:08,800 Speaker 2: disappointed again. We could fill it. 30 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:12,440 Speaker 1: But you prefer to have something to be annoyed about. 31 00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:15,720 Speaker 2: Yes, so Russell, it's good to have. It's okay to 32 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:17,920 Speaker 2: be grumpy. And I list lots of things in the 33 00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:20,639 Speaker 2: book to make people laugh that you can be grumpy about. 34 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 2: But there is a point with a lot of men 35 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:25,800 Speaker 2: where there's a tendency as we get older and we're 36 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:28,399 Speaker 2: not maybe we're not working or we were defined by 37 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:32,160 Speaker 2: our work. We're living smaller lives. We've got fewer friends 38 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:35,120 Speaker 2: because we're bad at we're bad at keeping friends. 39 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:37,280 Speaker 3: We men are notorious for that, aren't they. 40 00:01:37,319 --> 00:01:40,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, and our partners are infinitely better at it. So 41 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:43,760 Speaker 2: we'll be sitting at the kitchen for Mike a table 42 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:47,880 Speaker 2: saying Beryl, where's my dinner? And Beryl's already hot air 43 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:51,520 Speaker 2: ballooning in Turkey because she's reached an age where she 44 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 2: doesn't want to just live this small. So the argument is, 45 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:00,880 Speaker 2: if you've got so many of these grieves. It does 46 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:04,480 Speaker 2: make your world really small. Yeah, and you stop being 47 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:07,040 Speaker 2: kind to yourself, and you stop being kind to other people. 48 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:09,920 Speaker 2: And I've had example, I've used this example a bit. 49 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:12,600 Speaker 2: You know, you don't really know why your son isn't 50 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:15,240 Speaker 2: coming over to the watch the Foot on Friday nights anymore. 51 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:17,560 Speaker 2: But the answer is you don't stop talking about the 52 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:23,800 Speaker 2: players haircuts to be bad. They used to play And 53 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:26,680 Speaker 2: Alex Pears, the Fremental Doctors captain is in a chapter 54 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:29,640 Speaker 2: in this book too, talking about what it is like 55 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:33,040 Speaker 2: to be thirty year old Alex playing football compared to 56 00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:35,040 Speaker 2: when he arrived at the club all those years ago. 57 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:38,720 Speaker 2: And you know, we talk about going to the GP. 58 00:02:38,919 --> 00:02:43,880 Speaker 2: We talk about serious issues, you know, violence and anger. Yeah, 59 00:02:43,919 --> 00:02:47,600 Speaker 2: and we talk about living with regrets and not being 60 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:51,600 Speaker 2: a prisoner to regrets as you get older. And really, 61 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:53,360 Speaker 2: you know, if I could distill a whole book, but 62 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:54,760 Speaker 2: I still want you to buy it, thank you very 63 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:57,480 Speaker 2: much on Father's Day. Yeah. And actually women should buy 64 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:00,360 Speaker 2: it too. Yeah, well they will buy it and then 65 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,400 Speaker 2: want to give it to a bloke. But I'm beginning 66 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:04,520 Speaker 2: to read it first though, I'm beginning to think there 67 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:07,119 Speaker 2: are things here that may not be entirely. 68 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:10,320 Speaker 1: Of a guide to the older gentleman, you. 69 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:12,920 Speaker 2: Know, just to live a bit easier and distilling it 70 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:13,680 Speaker 2: by saying. 71 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:14,519 Speaker 1: Because he's not going to tell. 72 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 2: Us, okay, I'm going to give you the life for advice. 73 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:23,480 Speaker 2: Go start to go easy on yourself and start to 74 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:27,000 Speaker 2: go easy on other people. And I know that sounds like, wow, 75 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:30,560 Speaker 2: that's airport wisdom, isn't it, But it is. It's it's 76 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:32,600 Speaker 2: you know, I think a lot of blokes get to 77 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,720 Speaker 2: a certain age where they think life's not going to 78 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:38,280 Speaker 2: get better. Yeah, and it can, but you have to 79 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:41,000 Speaker 2: be prepared to give you know, someone else a turn 80 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:43,880 Speaker 2: on the swing, or acknowledge that the world is changing, 81 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 2: or you may not understand a trans person. But you 82 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:53,680 Speaker 2: don't have to be angry about the idea forever. It's 83 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:55,080 Speaker 2: not impacting your life. 84 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:56,440 Speaker 1: No, that's right. 85 00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:59,240 Speaker 2: So it is that thing what really matters and what 86 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:00,440 Speaker 2: doesn't know I. 87 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:03,400 Speaker 1: Said about marriage equality. If you don't like, you know, 88 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:06,760 Speaker 1: gay marriage, don't marry a gay person. You're out. That's 89 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,000 Speaker 1: all you know, your envelopment need be. 90 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:11,680 Speaker 2: And I know blakes get really wounded and feel really 91 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:14,440 Speaker 2: sort of thwarted, and you know in the world of 92 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:16,480 Speaker 2: taught back radio that I was on at the AVC, 93 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:20,839 Speaker 2: the most annoyed, frustrated, angry, disappointed people were all male 94 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:25,040 Speaker 2: callers and often very concerned about things that had very 95 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:28,400 Speaker 2: little impact on their lives. So this is an invitation, 96 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:30,400 Speaker 2: and look, I had to get the tone right or 97 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,240 Speaker 2: Blakes would never read it. It's an invitation to Blakes. 98 00:04:33,279 --> 00:04:36,080 Speaker 2: I reckon from ages forty and onwards, so you don't 99 00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:40,279 Speaker 2: become like your dad, to just have a look at 100 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,520 Speaker 2: what your life is like, how you're getting on with 101 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:46,039 Speaker 2: your partner, what your relationships like with your kids and grandkids, 102 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,920 Speaker 2: and ask yourself, can I be having a better time 103 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:51,920 Speaker 2: than I'm having? And I'm sure the answer is yes. 104 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:55,960 Speaker 3: It's about letting go too, I mean, because some people 105 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:59,960 Speaker 3: perceive you, to perceive you as being grumpy because you've 106 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:02,320 Speaker 3: lived for a while, and you go, well, okay, I've 107 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:04,880 Speaker 3: experienced lots of things. I know what I like, I 108 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:06,599 Speaker 3: know what music I like, and I know what movies 109 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,799 Speaker 3: I like, and I don't you know, so I don't. 110 00:05:09,839 --> 00:05:13,040 Speaker 3: I'm not interested in new music anymore, which is you know, 111 00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:16,920 Speaker 3: you get to that stage and that's just because you 112 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,880 Speaker 3: know what you've been there. You know what you like, 113 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:20,440 Speaker 3: you know what you don't like. But that can be 114 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:21,520 Speaker 3: perceived as being Oh. 115 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,279 Speaker 2: It can be. But here's the thing. It's it's like 116 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:27,800 Speaker 2: I make a big joke about watching reality television and 117 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:31,280 Speaker 2: Love Ireland. Farmer wants a wife. Farmer doesn't want a wife. 118 00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:34,080 Speaker 2: He just wants someone to help him with the mules. 119 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:37,839 Speaker 2: He shouting and old blokes go, who watches this rubbish? 120 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:41,880 Speaker 2: And their partners usually go other people. They don't make 121 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:44,760 Speaker 2: it for you, and you know it's not made for you, 122 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:48,200 Speaker 2: So it's so don't need to judge it and don't 123 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:48,920 Speaker 2: watch it. 124 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:50,840 Speaker 1: That wraps So that sort of wraps up. 125 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:55,800 Speaker 3: Facebook doesn't comments throw some mulesing into married. 126 00:05:57,160 --> 00:06:01,080 Speaker 2: What about mulesing on Love Island? I think they have. 127 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:05,080 Speaker 3: It should be complaints. 128 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:10,960 Speaker 1: Well, as we said, this has Father's Day present written 129 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,120 Speaker 1: all over it. I must say I also love that 130 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:16,200 Speaker 1: you have expert advice from Maggie Dent in the book 131 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:22,880 Speaker 1: because her focus is like raising men. You're raising men 132 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:25,800 Speaker 1: and maybe. 133 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:26,480 Speaker 2: Can I get you to read what she wrote on 134 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:28,400 Speaker 2: the back cover, because I just about cried when she 135 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:33,680 Speaker 2: sent it to me. Front she very kindly said that 136 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:36,880 Speaker 2: this book could save marriages and save lives. And then 137 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:38,960 Speaker 2: I went through the book and went, I don't remember 138 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:43,120 Speaker 2: writing that, but the essence being, the essence being that, 139 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:46,599 Speaker 2: just just pause. You know you are not on a 140 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:50,200 Speaker 2: train to misery as you get older, and there is 141 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:52,159 Speaker 2: just a real opportunity and. 142 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:52,960 Speaker 1: It should be fun. 143 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,240 Speaker 2: It should be fun, and it can be fun. 144 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:57,919 Speaker 3: Doesn't ask, don't buy a don't buy a ticket on 145 00:06:57,920 --> 00:06:59,200 Speaker 3: that train, catch the other one. 146 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:02,840 Speaker 2: Got one thing written down, I have you. 147 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:05,760 Speaker 3: Go easy on yourself, go easy on other people. You said, 148 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:06,600 Speaker 3: write it down, I. 149 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,560 Speaker 1: Jeff, thank you so much for coming in, and thank 150 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:10,160 Speaker 1: you for the book. 151 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:11,160 Speaker 2: Thank you so much. 152 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:13,320 Speaker 3: Thank you, and good luck with the book. 153 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:14,400 Speaker 2: Father's Day is coming. 154 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:15,240 Speaker 3: Go buy it.