WEBVTT - #68 Toddlers And Maple Syrup Do Not Mix

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<v Speaker 1>Do you know what's really fun to say on mid whiffery?

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<v Speaker 1>Mid whiffery, It's fun to say, isn't that I've had better?

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<v Speaker 1>You know, they bring out the government, the government bring

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<v Speaker 1>out some paid placement stuff for like nurses, paramedics and

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<v Speaker 1>mid whiffery.

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<v Speaker 2>I think a funner word is fart lick.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, it's the fartleck.

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<v Speaker 2>Welcome back to two doing dads. I am Maddie Jay

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm Ash And this is a podcast all about

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<v Speaker 2>parenting and fun words. Fartle like another one, bum fuzzle.

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<v Speaker 1>That the kids in the car right now we go.

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<v Speaker 3>These words are great, umb fuzzle, bum fuzzle.

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<v Speaker 2>In addition to the fun words, we also talk about parenting.

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<v Speaker 1>The good, the bad, and the relatable.

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<v Speaker 2>And if you've come for any type of advice, turn

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<v Speaker 2>this podcast off right now.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, throw the phone away, throw it right away right now. Actually,

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<v Speaker 1>the only advice that we'd give is this, Matthew, I

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<v Speaker 1>have turned someone, I've swayed someone, okay too. The dark side,

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<v Speaker 1>the dark side, the cloudy pale out which let's crack

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<v Speaker 1>on actually from Stonewall is the one Laura likes. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>so the other day I had a friend that cheers

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<v Speaker 1>my friend cheers, M. That's delightful. Got spilt it everywhere.

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<v Speaker 2>Sorry, I gotta be excited bouncing myself in the Cloudy Palow.

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<v Speaker 1>I had a mate over the other day, and of

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<v Speaker 1>course I have a fridge full of stone Wood thanks

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<v Speaker 1>to stone Wood and the choice of drop that fine

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<v Speaker 1>evening was the Cloudy palou.

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<v Speaker 2>Did they resist the paleol? Were they forthcoming?

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<v Speaker 1>They were like, I'll give it a go. And then

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<v Speaker 1>I went around to his house the very next day,

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<v Speaker 1>open the fridge and bango four pack. He said, I literally,

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<v Speaker 1>I liked it that much. I got one for this afternoon.

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<v Speaker 1>So I took beers to his house and I walked

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<v Speaker 1>in and he already had some converted. That's the second

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<v Speaker 1>person I've converted.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like we're starting a cult right now.

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<v Speaker 1>Cult following. If you just want something a little bit spicier,

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<v Speaker 1>can't go wrong. Job. So thank you stone Wood as

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<v Speaker 1>always for making these episodes possible.

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<v Speaker 2>Hey, very exciting.

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<v Speaker 1>Ash.

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<v Speaker 2>We have a weekend planned in Byron Bay with the

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<v Speaker 2>family for my brother's fortieth weekend, and it just so happens.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't do this, this is just the way it

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<v Speaker 2>worked out. That very weekend that we're going to be

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<v Speaker 2>staying in Barron Bay is the exact same weekend that

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<v Speaker 2>there is a very exciting festival.

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<v Speaker 3>Onday Together festal Stone got our basketball take it.

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<v Speaker 2>It's going to be on Saturday, the first of June.

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<v Speaker 1>At the Brewery at the Brewery. We're going to be there,

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<v Speaker 1>We will be and you're going to be there. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>going to be there child free and I'm going to

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<v Speaker 1>be with all the kids.

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<v Speaker 2>But I haven't told Laura this yet. We're staying at Elements,

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<v Speaker 2>which is very n ass and you're staying there as well.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, Laura doesn't know to her surprise. Well should be disappointed?

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<v Speaker 2>Should I tell her? Or should I just? Should we

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<v Speaker 2>just surprise her at the pool when you rock up.

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<v Speaker 1>Rock up in nothing but budgy smugglers, ready to rock

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<v Speaker 1>and roll. Now there's heaps of people playing at this

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<v Speaker 1>Festival of Stone. Betty Rays, Dan Salton, who else, the Beefs,

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<v Speaker 1>the Boofs, Middrift, Middrift midwif three. But you can get

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<v Speaker 1>your tickets. We'll leave a little link and yeah, come down,

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<v Speaker 1>say gooday.

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<v Speaker 2>And also my favorite part, there is a kids area.

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<v Speaker 2>It's called malt Disney.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh that's great. So I'm going to bring the kids

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<v Speaker 1>word play. There's gonna be each of food trucks and

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<v Speaker 1>stuff there too, So miss out. If you're in town

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<v Speaker 1>or you're around, come down and enjoy the music, but

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<v Speaker 1>also enjoy looking at Maddie and Mina's faces. And Laura

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<v Speaker 1>is very disappointed because her holiday will be ruined by yours.

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<v Speaker 2>Truly, Hey, I gave you a little update yesterday. Ash,

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<v Speaker 2>that's something that I did. I went to an audition.

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<v Speaker 1>You did.

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<v Speaker 2>I can't say what TV show it's for, Okay, I

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<v Speaker 2>have to be that dick who's like.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh you guys.

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<v Speaker 2>I can't give a word that I don't know. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know, I don't know. It's I am watching my

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<v Speaker 2>phone like a whore. Noticed right now. I'm just like

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<v Speaker 2>any message, I'm.

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<v Speaker 1>Like, is it them? Are they going to tell me them?

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<v Speaker 2>But I was it was a big deal for me.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a big deal for me.

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<v Speaker 1>Were you nervous?

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<v Speaker 2>I was very nervous.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm seeing you really. The only time I've seen you

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<v Speaker 1>nervous was when we were doing the MCing four or

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<v Speaker 1>the podcast would if you were sweet? You were the rock.

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<v Speaker 1>You were our rock right up until a backstage behind

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<v Speaker 1>the doors, and I'm like, let's just get it, and

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<v Speaker 1>you're patient. I was like, where's he go? It's full

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<v Speaker 1>of energy, up and down, up and down. That's the

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<v Speaker 1>only time I really have seen your nerves.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I was nervous. And it sucks because you're nervous

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<v Speaker 2>for the things that you want. Yeah, and I haven't

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<v Speaker 2>been to a big audition.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I hated.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like the last time I was thinking that I

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<v Speaker 2>felt these type of nerves was when I went on

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<v Speaker 2>a job interview, you know, and it's I trying to

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<v Speaker 2>talk myself into being in a good place mentally.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, don't worry.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, Maddie J You're a good guy.

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<v Speaker 1>I know. The thoughts are worse than the reality of

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<v Speaker 1>it too.

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<v Speaker 2>And one thing that threw me I didn't want to

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<v Speaker 2>know who else was going.

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<v Speaker 1>For this audition. You didn't want to get thrown off.

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<v Speaker 1>You didn't want to get thrown Yeah, because there's always like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>especially if someone's like very notable or.

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<v Speaker 2>Comparison as a thief to joy I believe something along

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<v Speaker 2>those lines. So I walk into the audition and I'm

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<v Speaker 2>walking to the room where I'm going to be doing

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<v Speaker 2>the audition with all the big dogs, and as I'm

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<v Speaker 2>kind of approaching the door, I then see the person

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<v Speaker 2>who's auditioned before me, meadow Kind. For those of you

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<v Speaker 2>who don't know, he's a lovely guy. I'm a huge

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<v Speaker 2>fan of meadow Kind.

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<v Speaker 1>Very funny, he's lovable, he's got so much experience, great

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<v Speaker 1>stand up comedy.

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<v Speaker 2>And also what made it just so much worse was

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<v Speaker 2>the fact that as he was walking out, the room

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<v Speaker 2>was just erupting and laughter, and he was almost like, guys,

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<v Speaker 2>I've got to and I was and I clocked him

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<v Speaker 2>and I was like, oh fuck, and I was like, hey, dude.

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<v Speaker 1>He was like hey, he was lovely. From that moment on,

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<v Speaker 1>the wind had been taken out of my sails. He

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<v Speaker 1>still did it. I still did it, still did it.

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<v Speaker 2>And I stupidly made the mistake of they said, would

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<v Speaker 2>you like a glass of water? And I said, yes,

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<v Speaker 2>I would like a glass of water. And there was

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<v Speaker 2>a jug and some cups on the table.

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<v Speaker 1>You drank out of the jug.

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<v Speaker 2>I went to pour myself a glass and it was

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<v Speaker 2>like shaking and then and then it was like it

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<v Speaker 2>was a hard jug. It was it was metal. So

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<v Speaker 2>I couldn't see where the water was, and part of

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<v Speaker 2>me is like, I'm just gonna I'm going to retract. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I was. I was trying to be gentle. I didn't

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<v Speaker 2>know like when the water was going to come out,

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<v Speaker 2>so I'm being slow and the dead silence and it

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<v Speaker 2>was just there watching me as I'm like.

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<v Speaker 1>That reminds me of that scene in lia Lie where

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<v Speaker 1>he's like filling out the water. Jes.

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<v Speaker 2>One other thing that also fucking happened to me as well,

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<v Speaker 2>just to just add another layer of self doubt in

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<v Speaker 2>the back of my mind, was the fact that I

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<v Speaker 2>have a purple suit.

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<v Speaker 1>I wore a purple suit. I wore a purple suit.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a beautiful suit. Beautiful suit. It's a lovely suit.

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<v Speaker 2>And I thought, you know what, I'm gonna wear some

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<v Speaker 2>punchy something to grab the attention of the room. People

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<v Speaker 2>love this suit. Whenever I wear it's a crowd place.

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<v Speaker 2>It's different.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like a deep rich. It's a deep rich. I

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<v Speaker 1>have to borrow it. It's something. Well, you probably it's

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<v Speaker 1>busted because I was running a little bit late, which

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<v Speaker 1>is no surprise, but I was like surprised. I was.

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<v Speaker 2>I was leaving at a time when I was going

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<v Speaker 2>to get there like dead on, and I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>I cannot be late for this. I looked down as

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<v Speaker 2>I'm in the car, I look at my crotch and

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<v Speaker 2>the thread has unraveled.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh your cock was dying to get out of there.

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<v Speaker 2>So I was like what do I And split second

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<v Speaker 2>I was like what do I do?

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<v Speaker 1>What did you do? Just powered on?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I thought, do I get changed? Do I lose

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<v Speaker 2>the purple suit?

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<v Speaker 1>Which absolutely not to me?

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<v Speaker 2>Was like that's all I had going for me. So

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<v Speaker 2>I kept the purple suit and I had and I thought,

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<v Speaker 2>you know what, I'm just going to be straight up

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<v Speaker 2>because I went to touch it as well, and as

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<v Speaker 2>I as I like brushed the fabric, the thread just like.

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<v Speaker 1>It was just opening up.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like Jesus. So I just was honest with

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<v Speaker 2>them and I said, look, guys, my dick's out.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. So it was okay. Would you get a laugh

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<v Speaker 1>from that? At least not that you didn't get any

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<v Speaker 1>other laugh.

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<v Speaker 2>I made a joke. I was like, if anyone walks

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<v Speaker 2>past right, you know, and they see that my pants

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<v Speaker 2>are off.

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<v Speaker 1>They go, wow. Matt really wanted that job and that

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<v Speaker 1>was such a dad joke, and they it didn't. They

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<v Speaker 1>looked more like, what is that a joke? I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>they're obviously not parents, Matt. They don't get it. Anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>we'll see, we will the best of luck. I did

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<v Speaker 1>forget to wish you good luck. Yeah, thank you. I

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<v Speaker 1>acknowledged it afterwards though, so I could have not thank you.

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<v Speaker 1>I've also just ran over mattow coin on the way in,

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<v Speaker 1>so he's definitely going to get really appreciate that. He's

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<v Speaker 1>got no knee caps anymore, so good luck. Actually he

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<v Speaker 1>was quite tall, so he probably still get.

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<v Speaker 2>As soon as I have any update, Yeah, please, I

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<v Speaker 2>will share.

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<v Speaker 1>You want to know. I'm sure they're chumping. They want

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<v Speaker 1>to know where they can see more. Maddie j me too,

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<v Speaker 1>Me too.

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<v Speaker 2>So in the coming weeks, I'll be sharing the news

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<v Speaker 2>with a smile on my face or in the corner

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<v Speaker 2>rocking back and forth.

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<v Speaker 1>Right, there all be other opportunities. Oh, thank you, that's

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<v Speaker 1>all right, that's very positive. No, now.

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<v Speaker 2>You're saying that because you think I'm not going to

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<v Speaker 2>get it.

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<v Speaker 1>No, I never said that. Fuck you, you're so self conscious.

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<v Speaker 1>I am saying that as coming from a place where

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<v Speaker 1>If madow Kine does get it, there'll be other opportunities

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<v Speaker 1>and you won't be up against meadow Kine unless he

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<v Speaker 1>can do more than one thing at a time.

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<v Speaker 2>If he gets it, I'm sorry, mad ow Kine, you're

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<v Speaker 2>in drink trouble.

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<v Speaker 1>You're not coming on the podcast. Oh, he's probably like,

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<v Speaker 1>don't need it anymore in other news, man, I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know if you've done this, which I would I have

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<v Speaker 1>done last week, as you know, last week semi busy

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<v Speaker 1>week for us. But on Thursday I went to go

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<v Speaker 1>and collect my child from kindergarten. Sure a good day.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm a doting dad, I would say. And I walked

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<v Speaker 1>in and as I'm walking in, I saw another dad

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<v Speaker 1>I know, right, and he was picking up his kid

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<v Speaker 1>as well. He's also a very doting dad. And we

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<v Speaker 1>were chatting walking in or chatting all things dad, as

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<v Speaker 1>you do quick catch up anyway, So we were walking

0:11:42.440 --> 0:11:45.920
<v Speaker 1>together and he's got a couple of kids, one kid

0:11:46.000 --> 0:11:49.520
<v Speaker 1>that's in Oscars class and one kid that's in Macy's class,

0:11:49.960 --> 0:11:54.240
<v Speaker 1>so age group's great. And I walked in with him

0:11:54.320 --> 0:11:57.160
<v Speaker 1>to go and get his youngest, which is in Macy's class.

0:11:57.200 --> 0:11:59.840
<v Speaker 1>And I walked in with him, and the teachers all

0:11:59.840 --> 0:12:02.280
<v Speaker 1>gave me this funny look, and I was like, his

0:12:02.400 --> 0:12:09.760
<v Speaker 1>eyes Macy inside, They're like, Macy's not here today. I

0:12:09.800 --> 0:12:12.920
<v Speaker 1>did say it's Thursday and thursdays I spent all day

0:12:12.960 --> 0:12:16.160
<v Speaker 1>with Macy, which I did. Oh where was she? She

0:12:16.320 --> 0:12:18.400
<v Speaker 1>was all day with me? But she was just home

0:12:18.400 --> 0:12:20.560
<v Speaker 1>with April. At that moment, I had forgot I'd spent

0:12:20.640 --> 0:12:22.320
<v Speaker 1>the day with her and went and picked her up

0:12:22.320 --> 0:12:26.319
<v Speaker 1>from her kindergarten. Going to pick O Scrup from his kindergarten.

0:12:26.600 --> 0:12:28.080
<v Speaker 2>I reckon, that's gonna happen.

0:12:28.760 --> 0:12:31.560
<v Speaker 1>All the time, I was like, the teachers were like,

0:12:32.559 --> 0:12:33.440
<v Speaker 1>are you okay?

0:12:33.720 --> 0:12:37.800
<v Speaker 2>Did you have to say, Oh God, where's my daughter?

0:12:37.840 --> 0:12:39.120
<v Speaker 2>Don't worry, I know where she is.

0:12:39.440 --> 0:12:42.320
<v Speaker 1>They're like, Macy doesn't come to come here today. I

0:12:42.360 --> 0:12:44.559
<v Speaker 1>know that. I was like, I didn't just spend the

0:12:44.559 --> 0:12:47.760
<v Speaker 1>whole day with her, but yeah, I have literally been.

0:12:47.880 --> 0:12:50.920
<v Speaker 1>We went swimming, rime time, she had a nap. I

0:12:50.960 --> 0:12:53.840
<v Speaker 1>even napped in their room because she didn't want to sleep.

0:12:54.160 --> 0:12:56.960
<v Speaker 1>So I'd legit spent the whole day with Macy. But

0:12:57.040 --> 0:12:59.640
<v Speaker 1>I was so distracted on the way in that you

0:12:59.679 --> 0:13:03.480
<v Speaker 1>went auto pilot. I went into autopilot. Anyway, I have

0:13:03.640 --> 0:13:07.480
<v Speaker 1>like Oscar's in the same preschool kindergarten that day, and

0:13:07.720 --> 0:13:10.720
<v Speaker 1>I walked past his room. So in the meantime, I've

0:13:10.760 --> 0:13:14.760
<v Speaker 1>walked past Oscar's room, He's seen me, and I've just

0:13:14.880 --> 0:13:18.720
<v Speaker 1>been to another room, and I've come down the stairs

0:13:18.720 --> 0:13:21.920
<v Speaker 1>to go all the ramp to go, ohh, get Oscar,

0:13:22.120 --> 0:13:25.000
<v Speaker 1>and he's at the door like like a puppy dog,

0:13:25.000 --> 0:13:29.520
<v Speaker 1>I'm left behind. I walked in and he was like,

0:13:29.800 --> 0:13:32.240
<v Speaker 1>where have you been? And I was like, oh, I

0:13:32.360 --> 0:13:37.080
<v Speaker 1>accidentally and he couldn't quite understand. Anyway. Then I've I've

0:13:37.120 --> 0:13:40.959
<v Speaker 1>managed to rustle all of his stuff together, and I've

0:13:40.960 --> 0:13:44.160
<v Speaker 1>walked out the door and back past the teachers, which

0:13:44.200 --> 0:13:51.000
<v Speaker 1>I already embarrassed myself in and I just got one.

0:13:54.679 --> 0:13:56.880
<v Speaker 1>But all these young girls were like, usually I've got

0:13:56.880 --> 0:13:57.360
<v Speaker 1>it together.

0:13:58.640 --> 0:14:02.480
<v Speaker 2>I think I'm absolutely allowed to do that. Once or twice,

0:14:03.160 --> 0:14:05.120
<v Speaker 2>maybe three times, I was like.

0:14:05.520 --> 0:14:08.800
<v Speaker 1>Fuck, this is embarrassing. Also, I must look terrible because

0:14:08.800 --> 0:14:10.720
<v Speaker 1>I don't know where my daughter is. But they don't

0:14:10.720 --> 0:14:12.319
<v Speaker 1>know that I've spent the day with her. They think

0:14:12.320 --> 0:14:14.800
<v Speaker 1>I've come from work, if you want to call this

0:14:14.920 --> 0:14:19.480
<v Speaker 1>work to collect a child and just like, my child's

0:14:19.480 --> 0:14:21.480
<v Speaker 1>not there. It's like going and there's no child there.

0:14:21.520 --> 0:14:23.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, what am I doing here? Who's got Who's

0:14:23.680 --> 0:14:26.520
<v Speaker 1>got Macy? I don't know who knows. I swear to God,

0:14:26.520 --> 0:14:26.960
<v Speaker 1>she's here.

0:14:27.200 --> 0:14:29.280
<v Speaker 2>The only thing that I've done. I don't know if

0:14:29.280 --> 0:14:31.640
<v Speaker 2>you guys have done this, but I've gone to pick

0:14:31.680 --> 0:14:35.760
<v Speaker 2>up the kids. And I'm pretty good on my phone, Like,

0:14:35.800 --> 0:14:38.360
<v Speaker 2>if Laura sends me a text, chances are I'll see

0:14:38.360 --> 0:14:39.280
<v Speaker 2>it within a couple of minutes.

0:14:39.840 --> 0:14:40.560
<v Speaker 1>You'll ignore it.

0:14:40.760 --> 0:14:46.280
<v Speaker 2>But I would never ignore my wife winking to the camera.

0:14:47.320 --> 0:14:49.920
<v Speaker 2>She normally like on Mondays and Wednesdays, I pick up

0:14:49.920 --> 0:14:52.040
<v Speaker 2>the kids and Laura finished work early, so she messaged

0:14:52.080 --> 0:14:54.720
<v Speaker 2>me and said, hey, I'm on the road. I'll just

0:14:54.760 --> 0:14:56.640
<v Speaker 2>go pick them up. I didn't see that text.

0:14:56.880 --> 0:14:57.040
<v Speaker 1>Oh.

0:14:57.640 --> 0:15:00.880
<v Speaker 2>I went into daycare and the lady reception was like,

0:15:01.560 --> 0:15:02.760
<v Speaker 2>just look to be very oddly.

0:15:03.480 --> 0:15:05.600
<v Speaker 1>And I remember thinking, that's a weird it's a weird world.

0:15:05.680 --> 0:15:08.480
<v Speaker 1>That's what I got. Yeah, I thought, first of all,

0:15:08.560 --> 0:15:11.040
<v Speaker 1>I thought I almost had a booker or something. Yes,

0:15:11.120 --> 0:15:14.000
<v Speaker 1>And I'm like no.

0:15:14.520 --> 0:15:16.360
<v Speaker 2>She was like, what are you doing here? And I

0:15:16.400 --> 0:15:18.080
<v Speaker 2>was like, I'm picking up my kids? Does it look

0:15:18.200 --> 0:15:18.520
<v Speaker 2>like and.

0:15:18.440 --> 0:15:20.920
<v Speaker 1>She goes, what the fuck are you doing it? And Laura,

0:15:21.080 --> 0:15:24.800
<v Speaker 1>Laura had beat me to it. I'm guessing it probably

0:15:24.840 --> 0:15:27.480
<v Speaker 1>happens all the time, all the time, because like, no

0:15:27.520 --> 0:15:29.920
<v Speaker 1>one can be perfect with their communicating No one is

0:15:30.000 --> 0:15:33.960
<v Speaker 1>perfect ash absolutely not, definitely not me. You and I

0:15:34.000 --> 0:15:36.000
<v Speaker 1>wear two of the same as close to perfect as

0:15:36.000 --> 0:15:37.320
<v Speaker 1>you could be. Other than that.

0:15:37.520 --> 0:15:39.000
<v Speaker 2>Do you know where Macy is today?

0:15:39.320 --> 0:15:43.280
<v Speaker 1>No? I do, because I dropped her off. I think

0:15:43.320 --> 0:15:47.720
<v Speaker 1>I dropped her off the right place. They were definitely

0:15:47.760 --> 0:15:51.560
<v Speaker 1>happy to have her. Whoever, it was just a random

0:15:51.640 --> 0:15:52.640
<v Speaker 1>daycare down the road.

0:15:52.840 --> 0:15:56.200
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, she's at Calls right now, like the vegetable aisle.

0:15:56.320 --> 0:15:58.560
<v Speaker 1>She what do you forget? She's there. She's so quiet,

0:15:58.720 --> 0:16:00.880
<v Speaker 1>she's starting to come out of a shit she is.

0:16:01.080 --> 0:16:04.080
<v Speaker 1>She's very quirky. She has some quirky things.

0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:06.160
<v Speaker 2>Are we talking about her? Giant ships?

0:16:07.120 --> 0:16:12.520
<v Speaker 1>That's not quirky, that's concerning far. You should have seen

0:16:12.560 --> 0:16:14.320
<v Speaker 1>this ship she did last night. It was about as

0:16:14.360 --> 0:16:16.720
<v Speaker 1>girthy as that can. I call the girl.

0:16:18.240 --> 0:16:21.040
<v Speaker 2>What are you guys feeding her? She's getting into your protein.

0:16:22.240 --> 0:16:27.200
<v Speaker 1>She's like Jack, but she does something quite quirky when

0:16:27.240 --> 0:16:30.440
<v Speaker 1>she sleeps now go on, I'll show you a quick video.

0:16:30.600 --> 0:16:33.360
<v Speaker 1>This will be on our socials. You can pick what

0:16:33.480 --> 0:16:33.840
<v Speaker 1>it is.

0:16:34.200 --> 0:16:40.720
<v Speaker 2>She's just made herself a little roof with most kids,

0:16:40.760 --> 0:16:42.280
<v Speaker 2>like a soft toy in bed with them.

0:16:42.360 --> 0:16:44.800
<v Speaker 1>So when she sleeps, she has to have a book now,

0:16:45.000 --> 0:16:50.280
<v Speaker 1>which is fine. She places the book over her head

0:16:50.320 --> 0:16:51.760
<v Speaker 1>and just goes to sleep.

0:16:51.880 --> 0:16:54.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, she's just giving herself a bit more shade.

0:16:54.160 --> 0:16:55.880
<v Speaker 1>That's like an hour into her sleep.

0:16:56.080 --> 0:16:57.720
<v Speaker 2>I just walked in and she's like, man, you need

0:16:57.760 --> 0:16:58.600
<v Speaker 2>blinds in that room.

0:16:58.760 --> 0:17:05.400
<v Speaker 1>Nah, She's fine, we're clearly not okay, all right, we're

0:17:05.400 --> 0:17:07.840
<v Speaker 1>figured that out. Then she's like, it's so damn bright.

0:17:07.960 --> 0:17:12.720
<v Speaker 1>Last last night, I April wedding there and I was like, oh,

0:17:12.840 --> 0:17:16.919
<v Speaker 1>is she asleep? And I gus, nearly the book's on

0:17:16.920 --> 0:17:21.600
<v Speaker 1>my head. So she falls asleep now with a book

0:17:21.640 --> 0:17:24.560
<v Speaker 1>on her head. She's quite is that the book that

0:17:24.600 --> 0:17:26.480
<v Speaker 1>you read her? Oh? No.

0:17:26.840 --> 0:17:28.920
<v Speaker 2>Also just at the opportunity to say that two dirting

0:17:28.960 --> 0:17:31.239
<v Speaker 2>Dad's quest a free time pre saler is available right now.

0:17:33.040 --> 0:17:36.200
<v Speaker 1>Like, I don't mind that. Laura is very.

0:17:36.200 --> 0:17:39.680
<v Speaker 2>Against anything in bed that's not a soft toy.

0:17:39.880 --> 0:17:42.320
<v Speaker 1>Why. I don't know, why would you want that on

0:17:42.359 --> 0:17:42.840
<v Speaker 1>your head? Though?

0:17:43.520 --> 0:17:46.800
<v Speaker 2>Maybe it's like a comfort thing. I don't know, I know,

0:17:46.960 --> 0:17:49.159
<v Speaker 2>like but if she's sleeping, if it gets her to

0:17:49.160 --> 0:17:52.879
<v Speaker 2>go to bed, if it gets her to sleep quicker, absolutely.

0:17:52.800 --> 0:17:55.440
<v Speaker 1>Like I know other kids have everything they sleep with.

0:17:55.600 --> 0:17:57.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, what's the most random comforter?

0:17:58.240 --> 0:18:00.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah in bed or has had that you had to

0:18:00.600 --> 0:18:01.760
<v Speaker 1>pry out of the little hand.

0:18:02.160 --> 0:18:06.480
<v Speaker 2>Anything that's that's like a hard toy. Laura is like,

0:18:06.520 --> 0:18:09.320
<v Speaker 2>you can't cuddle it. It's not coming into bed. Whereas

0:18:09.400 --> 0:18:11.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm liked, as long as it's not a knife, you

0:18:11.280 --> 0:18:12.240
<v Speaker 2>can take it in bed with you.

0:18:12.480 --> 0:18:18.320
<v Speaker 1>You had an abacus, they could get it off. It

0:18:18.440 --> 0:18:20.359
<v Speaker 1>might be in that video. I've had to put it

0:18:20.359 --> 0:18:22.520
<v Speaker 1>at the bottom of the bed. You haven't look. There's

0:18:22.560 --> 0:18:24.520
<v Speaker 1>heaps of shit in there. It's like it starts on

0:18:24.560 --> 0:18:27.200
<v Speaker 1>Monday and then by Friday you're like, come on, that's

0:18:27.240 --> 0:18:29.920
<v Speaker 1>too much. Because Oscar used to line his trucks up

0:18:30.119 --> 0:18:31.920
<v Speaker 1>and cars up and they had to be in order,

0:18:31.960 --> 0:18:34.119
<v Speaker 1>and then he'd just find like a little spot in there.

0:18:35.040 --> 0:18:38.560
<v Speaker 1>You know, there's the kid's weird. You've got something weird

0:18:38.560 --> 0:18:40.600
<v Speaker 1>your kids sleeps with, just send it to us Hello

0:18:40.760 --> 0:18:43.600
<v Speaker 1>at two dads dot com or just damn.

0:18:43.920 --> 0:18:46.360
<v Speaker 2>I think she loves books. It's a good thing. She's

0:18:47.119 --> 0:18:49.560
<v Speaker 2>clearly going to be very intelligent. She wants the advocates,

0:18:49.600 --> 0:18:59.680
<v Speaker 2>she wants books. Next thing is put a calculator in there. Yeah. Hey,

0:18:59.680 --> 0:19:03.080
<v Speaker 2>do you ever have moments where your memory of how

0:19:03.119 --> 0:19:06.439
<v Speaker 2>events will play out with the kids is slightly blurred?

0:19:06.720 --> 0:19:11.880
<v Speaker 2>Like what you think will be a beautiful, pleasant activity

0:19:12.720 --> 0:19:17.240
<v Speaker 2>in reality is a fucking nightmare. But you you fool

0:19:17.280 --> 0:19:19.040
<v Speaker 2>yourself into thinking that it's going to be a good

0:19:19.040 --> 0:19:20.440
<v Speaker 2>idea and enjoyable for all.

0:19:20.520 --> 0:19:25.440
<v Speaker 1>Remember I got Oscar that kite, Yes, that's the kite,

0:19:26.280 --> 0:19:28.560
<v Speaker 1>the kite, and I was like, let's go down and

0:19:28.560 --> 0:19:30.359
<v Speaker 1>find the kite. That'll be awesome. And I couldn't do

0:19:30.440 --> 0:19:34.760
<v Speaker 1>it. It was frustrating, and he was frustrated that kite's now

0:19:35.920 --> 0:19:38.760
<v Speaker 1>where is the eyes are gone? Yeah, it defeated me,

0:19:38.880 --> 0:19:41.359
<v Speaker 1>so I showed it. It's like when you took Marley

0:19:41.520 --> 0:19:45.160
<v Speaker 1>to the Jurassic Park thing, remember and then oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

0:19:45.200 --> 0:19:46.479
<v Speaker 1>yeah yeah. I was like, they're gonna love this.

0:19:47.440 --> 0:19:51.160
<v Speaker 2>Turns out dinosaurs, like a life sized t Rex coming

0:19:51.200 --> 0:19:53.600
<v Speaker 2>for your child will torment them.

0:19:53.720 --> 0:19:55.199
<v Speaker 1>I remember as a kid when I went to the

0:19:55.200 --> 0:19:57.919
<v Speaker 1>Easter show that used to have the Robotron. It used

0:19:57.920 --> 0:20:00.640
<v Speaker 1>to eat the cars. Remember, Yeah, I love that. I

0:20:00.840 --> 0:20:09.080
<v Speaker 1>was petrified about how old we are twenty five. Anyway,

0:20:09.119 --> 0:20:11.000
<v Speaker 1>go on on Saturday is gone.

0:20:11.720 --> 0:20:14.160
<v Speaker 2>Laura was away for work, so I had the girls

0:20:14.640 --> 0:20:17.200
<v Speaker 2>on my own, and I am a little bit guilty

0:20:17.320 --> 0:20:20.760
<v Speaker 2>on a Saturday morning. You know, I let the girls

0:20:20.800 --> 0:20:23.800
<v Speaker 2>wake up and if they want to watch TV straight away.

0:20:24.040 --> 0:20:26.560
<v Speaker 1>What I'm like, I do that every morning. What's sure,

0:20:26.680 --> 0:20:28.520
<v Speaker 1>I'll put it on. I always wak a TV. I

0:20:28.560 --> 0:20:32.280
<v Speaker 1>was like that distraction. I'm busy, but then act to sleep.

0:20:34.200 --> 0:20:37.800
<v Speaker 2>So Saturday's are slow, a slow morning, right, No one's

0:20:37.840 --> 0:20:40.840
<v Speaker 2>getting up, No one's like sometimes you know, if we

0:20:40.880 --> 0:20:43.399
<v Speaker 2>don't have breakfast till nine, nine thirty, it cares we're

0:20:43.400 --> 0:20:46.160
<v Speaker 2>gonna We're gonna know what to be. Whereas the girls

0:20:46.160 --> 0:20:48.800
<v Speaker 2>woke up, I actually was feeling pretty good. I woke

0:20:48.880 --> 0:20:51.119
<v Speaker 2>up and I was like six thirty. I actually felt

0:20:51.560 --> 0:20:54.600
<v Speaker 2>pretty awake. And they were saying we you know, sometimes

0:20:54.640 --> 0:20:56.480
<v Speaker 2>kids just get this idea and they had they want something.

0:20:56.520 --> 0:20:58.320
<v Speaker 2>I don't know what's influenced it, but they were like,

0:20:58.359 --> 0:21:00.960
<v Speaker 2>we want pancakes. I want to go out for pancakes

0:21:00.960 --> 0:21:03.520
<v Speaker 2>this morning. And I thought to myself. Do you know

0:21:03.600 --> 0:21:05.320
<v Speaker 2>what I'm up?

0:21:05.480 --> 0:21:07.200
<v Speaker 1>Sure? That sounds amazing.

0:21:07.320 --> 0:21:09.399
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And I was like, we could spend the morning

0:21:09.440 --> 0:21:12.800
<v Speaker 2>watching TV, or I know the cafe down the road,

0:21:12.880 --> 0:21:14.080
<v Speaker 2>great cafe.

0:21:14.080 --> 0:21:17.560
<v Speaker 1>Thirty dollars pancakes. It sounds beautiful. I can't wait to

0:21:17.560 --> 0:21:23.280
<v Speaker 1>spend sixty bucks on pancakes. But I was like, if

0:21:23.320 --> 0:21:27.399
<v Speaker 1>you girls get ready now, we'll go get pancakes. Oh yeah.

0:21:27.440 --> 0:21:29.320
<v Speaker 2>And they were great. They were like love that. They

0:21:29.400 --> 0:21:31.320
<v Speaker 2>ran to their room, picked out their outfits. We all

0:21:31.320 --> 0:21:34.000
<v Speaker 2>got ready within like fifteen minutes, and I was like,

0:21:34.119 --> 0:21:36.520
<v Speaker 2>this is going to be a great morning. And I

0:21:36.560 --> 0:21:39.399
<v Speaker 2>was also just like looking at myself in the mirror, going,

0:21:39.640 --> 0:21:41.120
<v Speaker 2>you're a good fucking.

0:21:40.880 --> 0:21:43.879
<v Speaker 1>Down one of the best, Like you know all these.

0:21:43.760 --> 0:21:49.399
<v Speaker 2>Other parents out there still probably no, I mean, easy

0:21:50.200 --> 0:21:55.960
<v Speaker 2>not to point any fingers out cakes, But I went.

0:21:56.359 --> 0:22:00.479
<v Speaker 2>I went to this cafe. Almost straight away, the wheels

0:22:00.480 --> 0:22:02.760
<v Speaker 2>started to unravel. Wheels unraveling.

0:22:02.960 --> 0:22:05.480
<v Speaker 1>No, sure, we'll stick with it anyway.

0:22:05.800 --> 0:22:07.600
<v Speaker 2>But I couldn't get a park, so I was driving

0:22:07.600 --> 0:22:09.800
<v Speaker 2>around in circles and kids are like, Dad, like.

0:22:09.760 --> 0:22:12.280
<v Speaker 1>The cafe, the cafes there, what are you doing? I

0:22:12.320 --> 0:22:16.560
<v Speaker 1>don't understand, and like just come home. I've come home

0:22:16.600 --> 0:22:18.359
<v Speaker 1>with oscars, being like why are we why are we

0:22:18.480 --> 0:22:20.800
<v Speaker 1>not going? I've turned around to come home.

0:22:20.840 --> 0:22:23.240
<v Speaker 2>Well, I was almost at that point. I was just like, fuck,

0:22:23.280 --> 0:22:25.760
<v Speaker 2>I might just ordum like off overeats and.

0:22:25.720 --> 0:22:28.120
<v Speaker 1>Then you just wake them.

0:22:27.960 --> 0:22:29.960
<v Speaker 2>Anyway, because because I would have had to have gone

0:22:29.960 --> 0:22:32.399
<v Speaker 2>to the shops. And also who can be asked to

0:22:32.400 --> 0:22:36.240
<v Speaker 2>make pancakes? If you are out there making pancakes, you

0:22:36.240 --> 0:22:39.080
<v Speaker 2>make mat some. So I've got a park, got there.

0:22:39.760 --> 0:22:41.520
<v Speaker 2>It was actually a bit busy, so I had to

0:22:41.520 --> 0:22:45.480
<v Speaker 2>wait for a table, got the table, and then the

0:22:45.600 --> 0:22:47.960
<v Speaker 2>kids were getting pretty restless. I didn't bring an iPad,

0:22:48.280 --> 0:22:51.480
<v Speaker 2>and I was kind of thinking to myself, Fuck, have

0:22:51.600 --> 0:22:54.960
<v Speaker 2>I made a big mistake. I'm also I'm outnumbered. I'm

0:22:55.000 --> 0:22:56.720
<v Speaker 2>solo with both girls.

0:22:57.080 --> 0:22:58.560
<v Speaker 1>And I was trying, you know, I was trying to

0:22:58.560 --> 0:22:59.879
<v Speaker 1>get the attention of the waiter.

0:23:00.760 --> 0:23:03.080
<v Speaker 2>It was hard to do that. And then the girls

0:23:03.080 --> 0:23:06.120
<v Speaker 2>were like, we don't want pancakes anymore, and I was like, fuck,

0:23:06.160 --> 0:23:08.960
<v Speaker 2>I've missed the pancake window. Now they're like, Dad, it's

0:23:08.960 --> 0:23:13.600
<v Speaker 2>dinner time, and I was like I was trying to

0:23:13.600 --> 0:23:15.760
<v Speaker 2>get him back on the pancake tracking like no, no, no, no.

0:23:15.800 --> 0:23:17.560
<v Speaker 2>I remember remember the dream this morning.

0:23:17.320 --> 0:23:19.840
<v Speaker 1>Remembers had a dream together.

0:23:20.160 --> 0:23:22.600
<v Speaker 2>We all wanted pancakes, and then I kind of got

0:23:22.640 --> 0:23:24.360
<v Speaker 2>them back on board, and I was like, fucking hell

0:23:25.040 --> 0:23:25.560
<v Speaker 2>so good.

0:23:25.800 --> 0:23:26.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I was. I was hyping up.

0:23:27.000 --> 0:23:28.480
<v Speaker 2>I was hyping up the pancakes.

0:23:28.800 --> 0:23:32.439
<v Speaker 1>Ice cream, big mistake ice cream.

0:23:33.080 --> 0:23:35.439
<v Speaker 2>So then order the pancakes. I was waiting for the

0:23:35.480 --> 0:23:38.359
<v Speaker 2>pancakes to come. At this stage, the girls were like,

0:23:38.560 --> 0:23:39.919
<v Speaker 2>you know, they weren't on the seats anymore.

0:23:39.920 --> 0:23:42.320
<v Speaker 1>They were like roaming around. They were like Lola was.

0:23:42.320 --> 0:23:44.480
<v Speaker 2>Walking into white stuff. As I was trying to bring up,

0:23:44.880 --> 0:23:46.920
<v Speaker 2>you know, because the table we got with right next

0:23:46.920 --> 0:23:48.760
<v Speaker 2>to where the kitchen was, so all the weight stuff

0:23:48.760 --> 0:23:51.440
<v Speaker 2>are kind of coming out. And I got to say,

0:23:52.359 --> 0:23:59.520
<v Speaker 2>one of the worst foods imaginable for kids is pancakes. Fine,

0:24:00.720 --> 0:24:03.480
<v Speaker 2>my gripe is not with a pancake. My gripe is

0:24:03.480 --> 0:24:08.359
<v Speaker 2>with maple syrup. Oh, whoever invented maple syrup should have

0:24:08.400 --> 0:24:11.520
<v Speaker 2>said specifically, no kids, no kids.

0:24:11.920 --> 0:24:17.040
<v Speaker 1>Sticky. It's sticky everywhere. It's like honey.

0:24:17.240 --> 0:24:19.240
<v Speaker 2>It's just like honey. It's like when you get the

0:24:19.240 --> 0:24:21.800
<v Speaker 2>honey out before you've even started pouring the honey. Honey

0:24:21.840 --> 0:24:24.320
<v Speaker 2>is fucking everywhere. Dude's your hands on the bench top.

0:24:24.359 --> 0:24:25.800
<v Speaker 1>Well, when you go to pick the honey thing up,

0:24:25.840 --> 0:24:28.600
<v Speaker 1>the honey is being stuck to the whatever bench it's

0:24:28.600 --> 0:24:29.600
<v Speaker 1>on you. Like, hang on a second.

0:24:31.359 --> 0:24:34.959
<v Speaker 2>There's honey on like handles, there's honey on just you're

0:24:35.000 --> 0:24:37.760
<v Speaker 2>going to you're going to bed. There's honey on your pillow.

0:24:37.880 --> 0:24:39.040
<v Speaker 2>Like I didn't even come into.

0:24:38.880 --> 0:24:40.840
<v Speaker 1>My bedroom pillow. Different reason.

0:24:43.600 --> 0:24:46.239
<v Speaker 2>The pancakes come all of a sudden. Lowell is just

0:24:46.280 --> 0:24:48.600
<v Speaker 2>like she's just dropping the cutlery.

0:24:48.640 --> 0:24:52.240
<v Speaker 1>The maple syrup is gone. Every maple syrup makes it

0:24:52.280 --> 0:24:55.119
<v Speaker 1>stick to her. You're trying to say this holes in

0:24:55.119 --> 0:24:58.720
<v Speaker 1>my story, Yeah, anyway is flipping about with it.

0:24:58.800 --> 0:25:00.760
<v Speaker 2>So there's just maple syrup every where. Of course I

0:25:00.840 --> 0:25:03.800
<v Speaker 2>didn't bring the wipes. Was it like a It was

0:25:03.840 --> 0:25:07.040
<v Speaker 2>like a ramikin. It was a rectanging, fancy pan.

0:25:07.200 --> 0:25:10.600
<v Speaker 1>It was just one of those ramakans. What did you

0:25:10.640 --> 0:25:12.680
<v Speaker 1>call it? What is a ramikin?

0:25:13.520 --> 0:25:16.280
<v Speaker 2>A ramikin is a small ceramic dish that's designed for

0:25:16.320 --> 0:25:21.159
<v Speaker 2>baking traditional French desserts. No, No, it's from maple syrup.

0:25:22.359 --> 0:25:23.480
<v Speaker 2>All right, got it?

0:25:24.160 --> 0:25:24.640
<v Speaker 1>Thank you?

0:25:24.800 --> 0:25:27.719
<v Speaker 2>Anyway, so Laura's covered had to tell maple syrup. She's

0:25:27.800 --> 0:25:30.960
<v Speaker 2>dripping in maple syrup right now. She's she's just yeah,

0:25:30.960 --> 0:25:34.439
<v Speaker 2>the ramikin is just Ramikin's gone ass up. Laura's drenched

0:25:34.440 --> 0:25:37.080
<v Speaker 2>in maple syrup and like daddy, hell they drink it. No,

0:25:37.160 --> 0:25:40.760
<v Speaker 2>Lola just everywhere. And then she also was like she's

0:25:40.800 --> 0:25:43.639
<v Speaker 2>now like completely against the pancakes. She's just like I

0:25:43.680 --> 0:25:46.360
<v Speaker 2>don't want pancakes. Yeah, She's like I never wanted them.

0:25:46.880 --> 0:25:51.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. They think jam jam is also jam is delicious.

0:25:51.280 --> 0:25:54.959
<v Speaker 1>If there's what there's one thing kids hate, it's being sticky.

0:25:55.160 --> 0:25:57.520
<v Speaker 1>They do oscar walked in last night. I don't know

0:25:57.560 --> 0:26:00.040
<v Speaker 1>what he'd have. He was at Popper's, walked in and

0:26:00.080 --> 0:26:02.800
<v Speaker 1>he's like, I need a white I was like, wow, yes,

0:26:02.840 --> 0:26:03.680
<v Speaker 1>my heads are sticky.

0:26:03.920 --> 0:26:07.960
<v Speaker 2>Just be like, don't you worry.

0:26:08.000 --> 0:26:13.320
<v Speaker 1>Don't sticky. So it was a disaster. It was what

0:26:13.400 --> 0:26:15.280
<v Speaker 1>you thought would be a nice moment.

0:26:15.400 --> 0:26:17.800
<v Speaker 2>Anything sticky should not be near a toddler.

0:26:18.280 --> 0:26:19.240
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely agree.

0:26:19.400 --> 0:26:21.480
<v Speaker 2>By the time the girls had like had enough, then

0:26:21.520 --> 0:26:23.600
<v Speaker 2>my meal came, so I had to like scoff in

0:26:23.640 --> 0:26:26.479
<v Speaker 2>a couple of mouthfuls of bacon and eggs and then

0:26:26.480 --> 0:26:28.680
<v Speaker 2>getting back in the car and got back home.

0:26:28.920 --> 0:26:30.320
<v Speaker 1>And it was midnight.

0:26:30.600 --> 0:26:33.959
<v Speaker 2>It was I was like, that's like, what was I thinking?

0:26:34.320 --> 0:26:35.480
<v Speaker 1>Make it yourself? Who?

0:26:36.080 --> 0:26:40.040
<v Speaker 2>Who the fuck did I think? I was expecting to

0:26:40.080 --> 0:26:42.719
<v Speaker 2>have a fun experience with maple syrup and pancakes at

0:26:42.720 --> 0:26:45.399
<v Speaker 2>a cafe on my own with the two kids, without.

0:26:45.080 --> 0:26:46.760
<v Speaker 1>That guy in the mirror. Next time, when you're like

0:26:46.760 --> 0:26:48.280
<v Speaker 1>you are a good dad, be like, but is this

0:26:48.400 --> 0:26:50.919
<v Speaker 1>the right decision for me? There's no good time to

0:26:50.960 --> 0:26:53.639
<v Speaker 1>take risks with the kids, never, especially when you're on

0:26:53.680 --> 0:26:55.960
<v Speaker 1>your own. I always say that, I've always said that

0:26:56.920 --> 0:26:59.280
<v Speaker 1>piece of advice. If there's any like, if there's any

0:26:59.359 --> 0:27:03.160
<v Speaker 1>risk involved, just put the TV on. Let them watch

0:27:03.200 --> 0:27:09.440
<v Speaker 1>pancakes on YouTube. Much cleaner result, Matt, I do have

0:27:09.560 --> 0:27:12.000
<v Speaker 1>something to tell you. It might come as a surprise,

0:27:12.280 --> 0:27:14.400
<v Speaker 1>or you might have seen the business bank account and thought,

0:27:14.440 --> 0:27:17.640
<v Speaker 1>where's this money? April's pregnant? No, I've had a second

0:27:17.720 --> 0:27:18.919
<v Speaker 1>me if she's pregnant? Who is he?

0:27:19.440 --> 0:27:21.119
<v Speaker 2>I haven't looked at the account. Can I just hang

0:27:21.160 --> 0:27:21.679
<v Speaker 2>on a second?

0:27:21.680 --> 0:27:24.600
<v Speaker 1>I want to apologize in advance. I am known for

0:27:24.600 --> 0:27:25.560
<v Speaker 1>a rational spending.

0:27:26.320 --> 0:27:30.679
<v Speaker 2>Sorry the face, there's one thousand dollars missing?

0:27:32.040 --> 0:27:36.479
<v Speaker 1>Is that all? Well? Let's go with that. Yeah, there's

0:27:36.840 --> 0:27:41.200
<v Speaker 1>more than that missing. But yes, we've made it, my friends,

0:27:41.480 --> 0:27:43.920
<v Speaker 1>we have finally made it.

0:27:44.040 --> 0:27:48.359
<v Speaker 2>We agreed that any big ticket purchase was one that

0:27:48.400 --> 0:27:50.240
<v Speaker 2>we would both agree with a grief. We have a

0:27:50.320 --> 0:27:50.960
<v Speaker 2>joint account.

0:27:50.960 --> 0:27:52.959
<v Speaker 1>It has to be unanimous. Will you agree to that?

0:27:53.040 --> 0:27:58.920
<v Speaker 1>I didn't. What have you spent the money on? Will

0:27:58.960 --> 0:28:03.600
<v Speaker 1>I be annoyed? No? Okay? Well, actually I'm going to

0:28:03.640 --> 0:28:06.120
<v Speaker 1>say I'm giving back to the community just to try

0:28:06.160 --> 0:28:12.280
<v Speaker 1>and smooth this over. Okay, explain we now are proud

0:28:12.440 --> 0:28:16.760
<v Speaker 1>sponsors of a football team.

0:28:16.920 --> 0:28:20.520
<v Speaker 2>Okay, because you did for a period. For a period

0:28:20.760 --> 0:28:22.760
<v Speaker 2>is it Manly? Because you know you can sponsor a

0:28:22.800 --> 0:28:23.639
<v Speaker 2>player on Manly?

0:28:24.640 --> 0:28:27.120
<v Speaker 1>I wish it was. We couldn't afford that. Okay, that

0:28:27.200 --> 0:28:27.800
<v Speaker 1>you would have gone?

0:28:27.840 --> 0:28:29.359
<v Speaker 2>How much was the Manly sponsorship?

0:28:29.440 --> 0:28:30.280
<v Speaker 1>Twelve and a half grands?

0:28:30.560 --> 0:28:31.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeak great?

0:28:31.280 --> 0:28:33.520
<v Speaker 1>Only for one player for home games.

0:28:33.560 --> 0:28:34.320
<v Speaker 2>So we haven't got that.

0:28:34.400 --> 0:28:36.240
<v Speaker 1>We haven't got that. So we haven't got sorry, Brooksy.

0:28:36.400 --> 0:28:38.120
<v Speaker 1>How we going? Have we gone to?

0:28:38.200 --> 0:28:39.520
<v Speaker 2>Like the new South Wales Cup?

0:28:39.680 --> 0:28:42.200
<v Speaker 1>No? Like one below? What did? Like?

0:28:42.240 --> 0:28:42.880
<v Speaker 2>What division?

0:28:42.960 --> 0:28:46.800
<v Speaker 1>Is it? It's football? Though it's football, it's rugby union.

0:28:47.120 --> 0:28:51.480
<v Speaker 1>I sponsored a team that we could afford, the Lambie

0:28:51.560 --> 0:28:55.320
<v Speaker 1>Jets who are the Lamby Jets. Well they're an under

0:28:55.360 --> 0:29:05.080
<v Speaker 1>sixteen that Oscar plays in. So now, like I said,

0:29:05.240 --> 0:29:08.360
<v Speaker 1>I'm giving back. Look, I'll tell you the real story.

0:29:08.440 --> 0:29:10.720
<v Speaker 1>There was these group of under six year old kids

0:29:11.000 --> 0:29:14.000
<v Speaker 1>who really really wanted to play football, but no one

0:29:14.000 --> 0:29:17.440
<v Speaker 1>could afford to play. So we stepped in as two

0:29:17.520 --> 0:29:20.800
<v Speaker 1>doting dads of the community and have now paid for

0:29:20.880 --> 0:29:26.120
<v Speaker 1>this team to be a part of the competition. Community service.

0:29:26.960 --> 0:29:28.480
<v Speaker 1>We're giving back to our community.

0:29:28.520 --> 0:29:30.920
<v Speaker 2>Okay, we sponsor we now we own.

0:29:31.360 --> 0:29:36.320
<v Speaker 1>We don't own them. Be mindful of that we sponsor them. Okay,

0:29:37.040 --> 0:29:40.160
<v Speaker 1>we're their major sponsor, granted their only sponsor, but that

0:29:40.240 --> 0:29:42.280
<v Speaker 1>makes us their major sponsored by default.

0:29:43.320 --> 0:29:47.120
<v Speaker 2>Look, there's a lovely sentiment behind this sponsorship. I'm not

0:29:47.120 --> 0:29:48.680
<v Speaker 2>gonna argue with that. I think it's great.

0:29:49.000 --> 0:29:49.600
<v Speaker 1>What do we like?

0:29:49.640 --> 0:29:52.360
<v Speaker 2>What's the What do we get as part of the sponsorship?

0:29:52.400 --> 0:29:56.200
<v Speaker 1>Are we get them? We get to see the smile

0:29:56.240 --> 0:29:58.280
<v Speaker 1>on those kids. Did we just pay for the registration

0:29:58.360 --> 0:30:01.040
<v Speaker 1>fees for all the kids? Yeah, they got and we paid.

0:30:01.080 --> 0:30:03.960
<v Speaker 1>We bought them jumpers. Okay, let's say two don't dads.

0:30:03.960 --> 0:30:05.520
<v Speaker 2>Can we get the kids to make the jumpers?

0:30:06.000 --> 0:30:08.080
<v Speaker 1>That it's called Child Labor Matt And we didn't sponsor

0:30:08.080 --> 0:30:12.239
<v Speaker 1>a child labour team. Maybe next year, but they have,

0:30:12.480 --> 0:30:15.240
<v Speaker 1>we have started, but Grant has been raining a lot,

0:30:15.800 --> 0:30:18.800
<v Speaker 1>so we I will keep you updated on the team's

0:30:18.840 --> 0:30:21.800
<v Speaker 1>success because I'm nothing if I'm not going to be

0:30:21.840 --> 0:30:24.120
<v Speaker 1>able to update you on their success. Who's the coach?

0:30:25.440 --> 0:30:29.080
<v Speaker 1>Look that that varies at the moment. The coach is

0:30:29.160 --> 0:30:31.520
<v Speaker 1>the is the head coach for the North Sydney Bears,

0:30:32.040 --> 0:30:36.560
<v Speaker 1>So he's qualified. That's Zach Zach. Yes, I know Zach Yah.

0:30:36.880 --> 0:30:39.400
<v Speaker 1>Zach's lovely credentials very high.

0:30:39.440 --> 0:30:40.840
<v Speaker 2>Does he have a kid or did we just rope

0:30:40.920 --> 0:30:41.120
<v Speaker 2>him in?

0:30:42.640 --> 0:30:44.960
<v Speaker 1>What's the best answer for that? He has a kid?

0:30:45.040 --> 0:30:47.760
<v Speaker 1>His kids the captain hang the deal?

0:30:47.840 --> 0:30:49.160
<v Speaker 2>Hang on a second part of the deal.

0:30:49.200 --> 0:30:50.360
<v Speaker 1>Macy also plays.

0:30:50.840 --> 0:30:54.960
<v Speaker 3>Macy also plays off that one. And does does she

0:30:55.000 --> 0:30:57.040
<v Speaker 3>actually play or is she just like she's just there?

0:30:57.080 --> 0:30:59.920
<v Speaker 1>She's like she's like number one cheerleader. It's very cute. Okay,

0:31:00.160 --> 0:31:02.240
<v Speaker 1>I will get footage. I will share it with the

0:31:02.280 --> 0:31:04.080
<v Speaker 1>listeners to see how let them know how they're going.

0:31:04.160 --> 0:31:07.040
<v Speaker 1>Some of them listen to us already. But I thought

0:31:07.080 --> 0:31:11.480
<v Speaker 1>it was the most perfect marketing ploy. I did spend

0:31:11.480 --> 0:31:14.800
<v Speaker 1>a lot of money on stubby coolers and jumpers for

0:31:16.200 --> 0:31:19.200
<v Speaker 1>everyone in the community. But that's okay because it's it's.

0:31:19.680 --> 0:31:21.520
<v Speaker 2>It's a good it's a it's a when it's getting

0:31:21.560 --> 0:31:23.840
<v Speaker 2>the it's the getting the name out there.

0:31:23.920 --> 0:31:27.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, okay, oll next episode, I'll bring some stubby coolers

0:31:27.600 --> 0:31:28.040
<v Speaker 1>in for the.

0:31:29.720 --> 0:31:31.719
<v Speaker 2>Do the kids they what are they playing for?

0:31:31.880 --> 0:31:32.320
<v Speaker 1>Do they play?

0:31:32.480 --> 0:31:33.400
<v Speaker 2>Do they win a trophy?

0:31:33.440 --> 0:31:40.480
<v Speaker 1>Again? I mean, but if I've got more good now, if.

0:31:40.360 --> 0:31:42.560
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to sponsor a team, I want that team

0:31:42.680 --> 0:31:44.680
<v Speaker 2>to be at the top.

0:31:44.760 --> 0:31:47.320
<v Speaker 1>They're elite of the compe six year olds that we

0:31:47.360 --> 0:31:50.600
<v Speaker 1>want to Okay, great, okay, but also you have signed

0:31:50.600 --> 0:31:53.520
<v Speaker 1>you up to do a job. You are the water boy,

0:31:54.400 --> 0:31:56.120
<v Speaker 1>the love water. You've got to drive all the way

0:31:56.160 --> 0:31:59.320
<v Speaker 1>to a lamby on Friday nights. The good thing is

0:31:59.840 --> 0:32:03.760
<v Speaker 1>they have a sausage sizzle. Okay, we may or may

0:32:03.760 --> 0:32:10.600
<v Speaker 1>not have paid for that, and an open bar with Stonewoods.

0:32:10.600 --> 0:32:11.920
<v Speaker 1>We may or may not have paid for that too.

0:32:16.200 --> 0:32:20.200
<v Speaker 1>I thought, this is my thinking behind it, to run

0:32:20.200 --> 0:32:23.160
<v Speaker 1>me through your thought process thought one giving back the community.

0:32:23.280 --> 0:32:25.480
<v Speaker 1>It's like a low tier why I did it? High

0:32:25.520 --> 0:32:27.880
<v Speaker 1>tier of why I actually did it is I don't

0:32:27.920 --> 0:32:29.560
<v Speaker 1>want to sit it on a Saturday morning watching my

0:32:29.680 --> 0:32:33.480
<v Speaker 1>kid play a sporty fucking hates Okay, no one wants

0:32:33.480 --> 0:32:36.320
<v Speaker 1>to do that. It's cold, it's raining. Sometimes I drive

0:32:36.360 --> 0:32:39.520
<v Speaker 1>past those people and think, not yet, wait till he's older.

0:32:40.240 --> 0:32:42.720
<v Speaker 1>But this competition happens to be on a Friday night

0:32:43.400 --> 0:32:48.200
<v Speaker 1>or afternoon, which includes beverages and the sausage that we

0:32:48.240 --> 0:32:50.640
<v Speaker 1>may not have paid for and the beers that we

0:32:50.680 --> 0:32:53.320
<v Speaker 1>may have made have paid for. So it's a win

0:32:53.400 --> 0:33:00.320
<v Speaker 1>win for me. Is April happy? No? When is she ever? Have? No?

0:33:00.440 --> 0:33:03.600
<v Speaker 1>She is happy except for when it's cold up there,

0:33:03.720 --> 0:33:07.120
<v Speaker 1>okay in the hills. But anyway, there we go. We've

0:33:07.120 --> 0:33:09.680
<v Speaker 1>made the crack that time we've been talking about it

0:33:09.680 --> 0:33:10.240
<v Speaker 1>for ages.

0:33:10.560 --> 0:33:12.960
<v Speaker 2>Has the deal been done as a contract science and

0:33:13.000 --> 0:33:13.720
<v Speaker 2>the jumpers made?

0:33:13.760 --> 0:33:20.920
<v Speaker 1>Yes? Okay, fuck done, it's done. It's a done deal. Congratulations.

0:33:21.040 --> 0:33:21.720
<v Speaker 1>I look forward.

0:33:21.760 --> 0:33:24.080
<v Speaker 2>I look forward to going on Friday and seeing my

0:33:24.160 --> 0:33:25.200
<v Speaker 2>investment in person.

0:33:25.400 --> 0:33:28.640
<v Speaker 1>You will probably be did.

0:33:30.720 --> 0:33:33.680
<v Speaker 2>I have a little issue with Lola at the moment

0:33:33.720 --> 0:33:36.160
<v Speaker 2>with bedtime? It's a little it's a little hack.

0:33:36.240 --> 0:33:37.600
<v Speaker 1>You gotta know that parenting hack.

0:33:37.960 --> 0:33:40.280
<v Speaker 2>This is a parenting hack ash that may change your life.

0:33:40.440 --> 0:33:42.840
<v Speaker 1>Go for it okay. So my issue with Lola is

0:33:42.840 --> 0:33:45.600
<v Speaker 1>that she gets up quite a lot, as we know

0:33:45.680 --> 0:33:47.960
<v Speaker 1>from Laura's four minutes away.

0:33:48.160 --> 0:33:50.600
<v Speaker 2>She tries to claim that it's up to seven times

0:33:50.640 --> 0:33:53.360
<v Speaker 2>in evening. But Lola wakes up, she wants.

0:33:53.080 --> 0:33:56.520
<v Speaker 1>A bottle of water, warm water. She's very thirsty warm water.

0:33:56.760 --> 0:33:58.600
<v Speaker 2>It's a problem and it just sucks because you know,

0:33:58.640 --> 0:34:01.000
<v Speaker 2>we want that the deeply, we want the rem sleep.

0:34:01.040 --> 0:34:02.920
<v Speaker 2>We can't get it because lock it's waking us up.

0:34:02.960 --> 0:34:07.520
<v Speaker 1>Camelback. Well, you're on the right track. Here's a solution.

0:34:11.680 --> 0:34:16.280
<v Speaker 1>Are you serious. That's what you give pet rabbits slash toddlers.

0:34:16.440 --> 0:34:19.120
<v Speaker 1>I'm just gonna say it. That's fucked up. Why is

0:34:19.160 --> 0:34:21.640
<v Speaker 1>it fucked up? Well, because that's what you give the

0:34:21.640 --> 0:34:24.399
<v Speaker 1>household pet that lives in a cage. The water is water.

0:34:24.719 --> 0:34:25.399
<v Speaker 1>That ain't right.

0:34:25.880 --> 0:34:29.239
<v Speaker 2>Look how happy the kid is. For anyone who does

0:34:29.239 --> 0:34:31.920
<v Speaker 2>not quite understand what we're talking about, they've got it

0:34:31.960 --> 0:34:36.040
<v Speaker 2>looks like a rabbit. Yeah, like what you'd give a

0:34:36.080 --> 0:34:40.000
<v Speaker 2>hamster or a guinea pig. And it's been zip tied

0:34:40.560 --> 0:34:44.120
<v Speaker 2>to the backboard like the back bed frame, so the

0:34:44.200 --> 0:34:46.480
<v Speaker 2>child can wake up and at any moment throughout the

0:34:46.600 --> 0:34:49.439
<v Speaker 2>night ash suck on the end, they can simply lean

0:34:49.480 --> 0:34:52.000
<v Speaker 2>over and get h two.

0:34:52.040 --> 0:34:56.120
<v Speaker 1>Oh, what about a water bottle? Both my kids have

0:34:56.160 --> 0:34:56.840
<v Speaker 1>water bottles.

0:34:57.680 --> 0:34:59.280
<v Speaker 2>But what happens when the water bottle gets empty?

0:35:00.080 --> 0:35:04.840
<v Speaker 1>Look back up? How much water is she drinking at night? Camelback?

0:35:06.320 --> 0:35:09.520
<v Speaker 1>That that is not on. I'm just gonna say it.

0:35:10.239 --> 0:35:11.680
<v Speaker 1>If I go upstairs, one of them going to be

0:35:11.680 --> 0:35:13.160
<v Speaker 1>attached to your kid's bed.

0:35:13.360 --> 0:35:15.839
<v Speaker 2>Your line of what's acceptable and what's not is so

0:35:16.000 --> 0:35:17.000
<v Speaker 2>hard to judge.

0:35:17.719 --> 0:35:19.719
<v Speaker 1>I like to keep it spicy, you know.

0:35:19.840 --> 0:35:22.319
<v Speaker 2>Let's go to the segment. Let's get into it.

0:35:24.080 --> 0:35:26.160
<v Speaker 1>That is fucked. I'm just saying that.

0:35:26.800 --> 0:35:28.840
<v Speaker 2>We're getting into the segment. I'm just I'm annoying. You

0:35:28.840 --> 0:35:30.239
<v Speaker 2>don't like my my parenting hat.

0:35:30.239 --> 0:35:32.279
<v Speaker 1>How are you going to do it? I've done it.

0:35:32.320 --> 0:35:37.760
<v Speaker 1>So let's get petty couples out. Petty couple, Welcome down

0:35:37.840 --> 0:35:42.080
<v Speaker 1>the street. Petty couple. They cannot like it with me,

0:35:42.600 --> 0:35:49.399
<v Speaker 1>dirty couple. I love you, but immit you, no one

0:35:49.480 --> 0:35:56.120
<v Speaker 1>can push me quite like you. All right, Matt. This

0:35:56.200 --> 0:35:59.000
<v Speaker 1>is the segment where people send in the petty things

0:35:59.040 --> 0:36:03.080
<v Speaker 1>that they do this to significant other, whether it's malice

0:36:03.160 --> 0:36:04.440
<v Speaker 1>or not. I do not mind.

0:36:06.760 --> 0:36:09.960
<v Speaker 2>Have you had much pettiness this week, ash and eating petty.

0:36:10.000 --> 0:36:10.920
<v Speaker 2>That's worth mentioning.

0:36:11.040 --> 0:36:15.480
<v Speaker 1>I'm working on some things. Oh, don't want to give

0:36:15.480 --> 0:36:19.400
<v Speaker 1>it away. No, I did something quite petty.

0:36:19.480 --> 0:36:24.760
<v Speaker 2>Oh yes, I feel like I'm always the one filling

0:36:24.840 --> 0:36:30.200
<v Speaker 2>up the car. Whenever I get in the car, it's

0:36:30.239 --> 0:36:34.680
<v Speaker 2>always like the lights on and it's it's not that

0:36:34.880 --> 0:36:38.520
<v Speaker 2>big of a deal. I get that. But I jumped

0:36:38.520 --> 0:36:41.759
<v Speaker 2>into Laura's car. We swapped cars and Laura's cars driving

0:36:41.800 --> 0:36:44.279
<v Speaker 2>it around for the day. The light came on and

0:36:44.320 --> 0:36:47.239
<v Speaker 2>I was like, do you know what it's time? You've

0:36:47.280 --> 0:36:47.759
<v Speaker 2>hel up the car.

0:36:47.840 --> 0:36:50.680
<v Speaker 1>Laura cheers to that. My friend cheers to that.

0:36:53.880 --> 0:36:56.239
<v Speaker 2>I will say I knew she had enough left in

0:36:56.280 --> 0:36:57.479
<v Speaker 2>the tank to get her to work.

0:36:57.520 --> 0:36:59.400
<v Speaker 1>I've done a similar thing where I've got in the

0:36:59.440 --> 0:37:00.319
<v Speaker 1>car car.

0:37:01.000 --> 0:37:02.880
<v Speaker 2>Wait, can I just say, if you saw Laura's stories

0:37:02.880 --> 0:37:05.440
<v Speaker 2>actually broke down recently in the tunnel, was not me?

0:37:05.680 --> 0:37:12.359
<v Speaker 1>Not related? April Leaves does the same thing and I'm

0:37:12.400 --> 0:37:14.600
<v Speaker 1>get in and because it's got the countdown of how

0:37:14.640 --> 0:37:18.080
<v Speaker 1>long's there, I thought sixty k's I got heaps, But

0:37:18.280 --> 0:37:19.880
<v Speaker 1>I knew she had to get up and go to

0:37:19.880 --> 0:37:23.160
<v Speaker 1>the gym in the morning at like an ungodly hour

0:37:23.280 --> 0:37:25.360
<v Speaker 1>that she does. So I didn't fill it up and

0:37:25.440 --> 0:37:28.640
<v Speaker 1>got it down to like enough for her to be like,

0:37:28.719 --> 0:37:31.560
<v Speaker 1>am I going to make it or not? Five in

0:37:31.560 --> 0:37:36.000
<v Speaker 1>the morning. She made it, but it would have been

0:37:36.000 --> 0:37:38.960
<v Speaker 1>that initial and I did it to be petty.

0:37:39.040 --> 0:37:41.359
<v Speaker 2>And that's why we love our partners, because these are

0:37:41.360 --> 0:37:44.080
<v Speaker 2>the games we can play.

0:37:43.719 --> 0:37:48.600
<v Speaker 1>Until they leave us. Can I go first? Can I

0:37:48.640 --> 0:37:51.040
<v Speaker 1>go first? That sounded it? Can I have some more? Please?

0:37:51.080 --> 0:37:53.440
<v Speaker 1>Excuse me? Can I go first? Can I go first?

0:37:53.480 --> 0:37:56.839
<v Speaker 1>Young Matthew? This one's from Emma go on. One day,

0:37:56.920 --> 0:38:00.239
<v Speaker 1>my husband said we need to start eating healthier and

0:38:00.360 --> 0:38:02.920
<v Speaker 1>cooking healthier. It's a common argument. Don't put it on

0:38:02.960 --> 0:38:05.959
<v Speaker 1>your wife. You do it, mate, Yeah, and then she's

0:38:05.960 --> 0:38:08.400
<v Speaker 1>puts him back it. Trust me, what we eat is

0:38:08.480 --> 0:38:12.560
<v Speaker 1>healthy enough. Very good, Emma, Very good for you for

0:38:12.920 --> 0:38:17.120
<v Speaker 1>having variation balance in your diet. I hate cooking at

0:38:17.120 --> 0:38:18.919
<v Speaker 1>the best of time. So this is what I made

0:38:18.960 --> 0:38:22.840
<v Speaker 1>him for dinner. What is it? It's a carrot shaped

0:38:22.840 --> 0:38:28.840
<v Speaker 1>and a rude finger. I thought that was salmon for

0:38:28.880 --> 0:38:30.799
<v Speaker 1>a second, like sashimi.

0:38:30.840 --> 0:38:32.440
<v Speaker 2>No, it's if he's.

0:38:32.280 --> 0:38:37.359
<v Speaker 1>Getting sashimi for dinner. If he's getting just carrots, then

0:38:38.760 --> 0:38:39.480
<v Speaker 1>where's the protein.

0:38:39.600 --> 0:38:42.360
<v Speaker 2>I think would be more infuriating if you're already delivering

0:38:42.440 --> 0:38:46.520
<v Speaker 2>delicious meals that are healthy, I want healthier.

0:38:47.160 --> 0:38:50.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what's healthier than a carrot? Tell you what,

0:38:50.520 --> 0:38:52.680
<v Speaker 1>nothing asked.

0:38:52.719 --> 0:38:59.320
<v Speaker 2>This one is from Jessica Keegan Keigan. I don't know

0:38:59.360 --> 0:39:03.040
<v Speaker 2>if we just said it, Jesus balad for anyone wondering.

0:39:03.520 --> 0:39:07.200
<v Speaker 2>Ash sent me a video of a young TikToker. All

0:39:07.239 --> 0:39:10.600
<v Speaker 2>she does is mud of the words Ash, take it

0:39:10.640 --> 0:39:14.320
<v Speaker 2>away salad, chicken caesar salad.

0:39:14.600 --> 0:39:16.799
<v Speaker 1>For those adults are listening who will not know what

0:39:16.840 --> 0:39:19.280
<v Speaker 1>that means, I'm a child.

0:39:19.320 --> 0:39:26.600
<v Speaker 2>It's very addictive. Worth a watch, Okay. After a disagreement,

0:39:26.719 --> 0:39:30.399
<v Speaker 2>Jessica says with her husband, I cut the bristles off

0:39:30.440 --> 0:39:35.680
<v Speaker 2>his toothbrush. But then she'd forgotten that she did it

0:39:35.800 --> 0:39:38.440
<v Speaker 2>until until it was the next morning when he went

0:39:38.520 --> 0:39:41.160
<v Speaker 2>to brush's teeth, and then he found out what she'd done.

0:39:42.960 --> 0:39:48.240
<v Speaker 2>Ended in tears of laughter, of laughter all fun and games.

0:39:48.320 --> 0:39:50.680
<v Speaker 1>Everyone's having a good time, having a good time.

0:39:50.840 --> 0:39:54.719
<v Speaker 2>And that's what this game is about. Having fun. Absolutely

0:39:54.760 --> 0:39:57.240
<v Speaker 2>no one's no one's getting offended.

0:39:56.960 --> 0:40:00.399
<v Speaker 1>But if they are, I also want to know. Very

0:40:00.440 --> 0:40:03.319
<v Speaker 1>good Matt should we just finish on some question. Oh,

0:40:03.440 --> 0:40:05.920
<v Speaker 1>I will ash if I may just very quickly Ash.

0:40:06.040 --> 0:40:11.239
<v Speaker 2>We did a little a real on our Instagram and

0:40:11.680 --> 0:40:13.840
<v Speaker 2>I want to say it was quite funny. It was

0:40:13.680 --> 0:40:17.279
<v Speaker 2>it was about the perfect evening. Oh yes, what what

0:40:17.400 --> 0:40:19.680
<v Speaker 2>partners can do? And it was, you know, the perfect

0:40:19.719 --> 0:40:22.120
<v Speaker 2>evening would be for us. It would be putting the

0:40:22.200 --> 0:40:25.080
<v Speaker 2>kids to bed, pouring our wives a glass of wine,

0:40:25.200 --> 0:40:28.520
<v Speaker 2>ordering thie, and then giving them a sweet treat later

0:40:28.960 --> 0:40:32.320
<v Speaker 2>when we see sweet treat. We won't go into details.

0:40:31.680 --> 0:40:36.040
<v Speaker 1>Up to interpretation. Yeah, but you know what I'm doing.

0:40:36.080 --> 0:40:38.800
<v Speaker 2>You know what I'm talking about. And I out of interest,

0:40:38.880 --> 0:40:41.680
<v Speaker 2>I put the call out there and said, hey, for

0:40:41.760 --> 0:40:44.799
<v Speaker 2>you people on social media people.

0:40:45.719 --> 0:40:48.560
<v Speaker 1>What would be the dream evening? And I've got met

0:40:48.600 --> 0:40:52.960
<v Speaker 1>galleryesh I go you people I got, I said.

0:40:53.160 --> 0:40:55.760
<v Speaker 2>I said to the good, the good people of social

0:40:55.800 --> 0:40:59.080
<v Speaker 2>media friends. I said to our friends, thank you, thank you.

0:40:59.120 --> 0:41:01.840
<v Speaker 2>I said, my friend, what.

0:41:01.760 --> 0:41:05.560
<v Speaker 1>Makes you happy? What makes you happy? What would be.

0:41:06.040 --> 0:41:10.640
<v Speaker 2>Your dream evening? And the varied responses okay, I got

0:41:10.680 --> 0:41:12.280
<v Speaker 2>from people, give me a mixture.

0:41:12.520 --> 0:41:15.160
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to say names. This One person just

0:41:15.200 --> 0:41:22.120
<v Speaker 1>wrote anal I'm sorry I wrote that in.

0:41:24.400 --> 0:41:25.320
<v Speaker 2>The fucking dishes.

0:41:26.680 --> 0:41:28.640
<v Speaker 1>Someone someone needs to see a counselort.

0:41:29.560 --> 0:41:33.600
<v Speaker 2>This one says she wants a massage that doesn't end

0:41:33.680 --> 0:41:36.000
<v Speaker 2>with the expectation of sex afterwards.

0:41:36.719 --> 0:41:39.360
<v Speaker 1>Newsflash, no such thing. In my defense.

0:41:40.160 --> 0:41:44.319
<v Speaker 2>In my defense, I sometimes give Laura a massage with

0:41:44.600 --> 0:41:47.880
<v Speaker 2>absolutely no intention for it to end up that way.

0:41:48.440 --> 0:41:54.200
<v Speaker 2>But sometimes when you're massaging the back of a beautiful

0:41:54.200 --> 0:41:55.279
<v Speaker 2>woman who happens to be my.

0:41:55.280 --> 0:41:57.480
<v Speaker 1>Wife, things slip in.

0:41:57.600 --> 0:42:03.040
<v Speaker 2>I get excited, excited, but I can imagine sometimes it's

0:42:03.120 --> 0:42:05.880
<v Speaker 2>nice to receive a gift without the expectation to have

0:42:05.920 --> 0:42:11.560
<v Speaker 2>to give something in return. Got a lot of people

0:42:11.600 --> 0:42:15.360
<v Speaker 2>asking for foot rubs, and this person says, nap pizza, sex,

0:42:15.719 --> 0:42:17.560
<v Speaker 2>that is Allang, that's good, and she goes.

0:42:18.120 --> 0:42:20.280
<v Speaker 1>She goes pizza, then she has ps.

0:42:20.320 --> 0:42:22.279
<v Speaker 2>I've not had a partner for five years, so that

0:42:22.320 --> 0:42:26.879
<v Speaker 2>would be the dream right now. This one says, leave

0:42:26.920 --> 0:42:32.000
<v Speaker 2>me alone? Is that from me from April Wicks? Oh good,

0:42:32.200 --> 0:42:34.719
<v Speaker 2>good good fresh linen on the bed.

0:42:35.280 --> 0:42:38.239
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's on April special. That one another one here,

0:42:38.440 --> 0:42:45.080
<v Speaker 1>so much feet rubbing. Everyone wants their feet rubbed hot

0:42:45.080 --> 0:42:45.399
<v Speaker 1>in here.

0:42:46.360 --> 0:42:49.799
<v Speaker 3>When's Laura coming home? Bring those size twelve feet of

0:42:49.800 --> 0:42:56.399
<v Speaker 3>hers home? She has beautiful flippers. But the majority of these,

0:42:56.480 --> 0:42:59.399
<v Speaker 3>like this is the most standard one. Empty the dishwasher,

0:43:00.000 --> 0:43:04.640
<v Speaker 3>hook dinner, give me massage, put the kids to bed,

0:43:05.160 --> 0:43:10.960
<v Speaker 3>and then a massage massage of the I picked that

0:43:11.040 --> 0:43:12.160
<v Speaker 3>up vaginal area.

0:43:12.320 --> 0:43:17.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but this is basic needs. This is this is.

0:43:17.040 --> 0:43:20.480
<v Speaker 2>So the bar is low for any man out there

0:43:20.520 --> 0:43:21.200
<v Speaker 2>who are like, what.

0:43:21.200 --> 0:43:25.319
<v Speaker 1>Do I get um doing? What do I do? Just like,

0:43:25.719 --> 0:43:29.400
<v Speaker 1>just answer the.

0:43:28.400 --> 0:43:30.000
<v Speaker 2>Take the bin out and then rub.

0:43:29.840 --> 0:43:33.759
<v Speaker 1>Some feet vagina or of a china with your feet.

0:43:33.800 --> 0:43:34.680
<v Speaker 1>That is that is it?

0:43:34.760 --> 0:43:38.320
<v Speaker 2>Hey, to those people who have just informed you're welcome

0:43:38.640 --> 0:43:43.040
<v Speaker 2>to their partners, you're also welcome. I can only imagine

0:43:43.040 --> 0:43:47.360
<v Speaker 2>when this comes out the amount of foot rubs that

0:43:47.440 --> 0:43:48.919
<v Speaker 2>I happening all around Australia.

0:43:49.040 --> 0:43:51.239
<v Speaker 1>Do you guys play this little piggy the other time? No?

0:43:51.400 --> 0:43:54.560
<v Speaker 2>Actually she loves the toes being pulled. Anyway, Enough about that,

0:43:55.040 --> 0:43:56.640
<v Speaker 2>it's got let's got a listen of questions.

0:43:57.880 --> 0:44:00.000
<v Speaker 1>This is a question from Melissa. But also I'm strng

0:44:00.320 --> 0:44:03.080
<v Speaker 1>with the same thing I'm always seem to be struggling

0:44:03.080 --> 0:44:05.239
<v Speaker 1>with this one fucking thing. Alice wants to know how

0:44:05.280 --> 0:44:07.879
<v Speaker 1>does she get her kids to sleep in their own bed?

0:44:08.200 --> 0:44:11.040
<v Speaker 1>I have no fucking idea. Okay me either, because I

0:44:11.120 --> 0:44:14.360
<v Speaker 1>Oscar seriously bro.

0:44:15.920 --> 0:44:19.400
<v Speaker 2>What I was told by some parents ash, which is

0:44:19.480 --> 0:44:23.359
<v Speaker 2>advice that I didn't even remotely try and follow at all.

0:44:24.360 --> 0:44:28.040
<v Speaker 2>The First time the kids come into your bed, you've

0:44:28.040 --> 0:44:31.000
<v Speaker 2>got to be very stern from the beginning. You've got

0:44:31.040 --> 0:44:33.279
<v Speaker 2>to put them back into their bed and you go.

0:44:33.480 --> 0:44:35.840
<v Speaker 2>That's You've got to set the expectation there is no

0:44:35.920 --> 0:44:37.640
<v Speaker 2>place for them in your bed.

0:44:38.120 --> 0:44:40.640
<v Speaker 1>I thought all my farting would deter them. No, they

0:44:40.680 --> 0:44:42.000
<v Speaker 1>seem to draw them in quicker.

0:44:42.120 --> 0:44:44.680
<v Speaker 2>The issue with that, though, is that I always take

0:44:44.719 --> 0:44:47.120
<v Speaker 2>the path of least resistance, go into that. So if

0:44:47.160 --> 0:44:49.840
<v Speaker 2>they want to come into my bed like whatever, it

0:44:49.880 --> 0:44:50.560
<v Speaker 2>doesn't bother me.

0:44:50.920 --> 0:44:55.200
<v Speaker 1>It does bother me, though. It does because he headbuts me.

0:44:56.480 --> 0:44:58.680
<v Speaker 1>He laughs in his sleep like some sort of freak.

0:44:59.520 --> 0:45:02.960
<v Speaker 1>Just keeps me awake. It's driving me crazy.

0:45:02.760 --> 0:45:07.279
<v Speaker 2>Why didn't you, Why didn't you when Oscar first came

0:45:07.320 --> 0:45:09.239
<v Speaker 2>into your bed, Why don't you quickly put them back

0:45:09.239 --> 0:45:11.600
<v Speaker 2>into his bed and say, Oscar, this bed is yours,

0:45:11.840 --> 0:45:12.640
<v Speaker 2>Stay out of mind.

0:45:12.680 --> 0:45:15.040
<v Speaker 1>That's a very good follow up question, Matt. I really

0:45:15.080 --> 0:45:18.279
<v Speaker 1>appreciate that I didn't, because they share a room. Him

0:45:18.320 --> 0:45:20.520
<v Speaker 1>and mazy, so if I take him back, he'll carry

0:45:20.560 --> 0:45:21.560
<v Speaker 1>on wake her up.

0:45:22.320 --> 0:45:25.279
<v Speaker 2>I feel like that's a common fear for parents out there.

0:45:25.320 --> 0:45:29.480
<v Speaker 1>It is we just go path of least resistance. So, Melissa,

0:45:29.520 --> 0:45:32.920
<v Speaker 1>I don't have an answer for you. Matt has some

0:45:32.960 --> 0:45:35.279
<v Speaker 1>sort of advice you got from someone but never implemented it.

0:45:35.320 --> 0:45:37.919
<v Speaker 1>So maybe you can implement that and give us enough.

0:45:37.920 --> 0:45:38.239
<v Speaker 1>I would.

0:45:38.280 --> 0:45:41.080
<v Speaker 2>I would try that. Otherwise, lock your door. What if

0:45:41.080 --> 0:45:43.200
<v Speaker 2>this emergency, We'll deal with that as it comes.

0:45:43.480 --> 0:45:47.759
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely fully agree, lock the door. You could just time

0:45:47.800 --> 0:45:48.120
<v Speaker 1>to the bed.

0:45:48.280 --> 0:45:52.000
<v Speaker 2>Just an idea, there's the solution. Next question, this is

0:45:52.040 --> 0:45:54.040
<v Speaker 2>an interesting one. I don't know if this is just

0:45:54.080 --> 0:45:57.040
<v Speaker 2>a boy thing. My girls don't do this. Her name

0:45:57.080 --> 0:45:59.000
<v Speaker 2>is Everly, and she says, how do I stop my

0:45:59.160 --> 0:46:02.040
<v Speaker 2>five year old from whipping it out and pinging on

0:46:02.080 --> 0:46:06.920
<v Speaker 2>the bedroom carpet. You've got a dog, you're five years

0:46:09.160 --> 0:46:11.319
<v Speaker 2>you've been mistaken, and you've taken a dog home from

0:46:11.360 --> 0:46:11.800
<v Speaker 2>the hospital.

0:46:12.840 --> 0:46:15.160
<v Speaker 1>How did he learn to do that first of all?

0:46:15.680 --> 0:46:17.360
<v Speaker 1>Or was she just like taking upon himself to be

0:46:17.400 --> 0:46:19.239
<v Speaker 1>like that looks like anice patch of carp But I'm

0:46:19.239 --> 0:46:19.880
<v Speaker 1>going to piss on.

0:46:20.000 --> 0:46:23.239
<v Speaker 2>That's a weird habit. That's a weird habit. I've never

0:46:23.320 --> 0:46:28.279
<v Speaker 2>heard of kids like like willfully pissing, just insighting every

0:46:28.320 --> 0:46:31.520
<v Speaker 2>now and then Lola, who doesn't wear a nappy during

0:46:31.520 --> 0:46:35.120
<v Speaker 2>the day, she'll be really into a game and she

0:46:35.239 --> 0:46:39.799
<v Speaker 2>just she'd like, will wait so long, and then as

0:46:39.880 --> 0:46:43.000
<v Speaker 2>she's like running to the toilet, she's like and then

0:46:43.000 --> 0:46:45.959
<v Speaker 2>she'll just stand and she'll like wear herself.

0:46:45.680 --> 0:46:48.160
<v Speaker 1>And slip it. And I'm like, what are you doing?

0:46:49.160 --> 0:46:51.400
<v Speaker 2>No, I don't, I says, I say. If you say,

0:46:51.400 --> 0:46:54.719
<v Speaker 2>WHOOPSI daisy pants, I never would never do that.

0:46:54.920 --> 0:46:58.759
<v Speaker 1>Na, But no, I don't know kids not wilfully just

0:46:58.800 --> 0:47:02.360
<v Speaker 1>like whipping it out. That's an interesting one. Well, thankfully

0:47:02.400 --> 0:47:06.399
<v Speaker 1>I have a solution, So everybody listen, hit me. Treat

0:47:06.400 --> 0:47:09.520
<v Speaker 1>it like a puppy, I would say, so, like you know,

0:47:09.560 --> 0:47:11.440
<v Speaker 1>when you have a new puppy. If also those of

0:47:11.440 --> 0:47:17.239
<v Speaker 1>you don't puppy pad, maybe try a puppy pad, do

0:47:17.280 --> 0:47:19.360
<v Speaker 1>you know? Okay, I got one, so it's like a

0:47:19.440 --> 0:47:21.880
<v Speaker 1>sense and then slowly move the puppy pad closer to

0:47:21.880 --> 0:47:23.400
<v Speaker 1>the toilet.

0:47:23.440 --> 0:47:27.840
<v Speaker 2>When I when I started potty training, when we I

0:47:27.840 --> 0:47:30.680
<v Speaker 2>should include Lawa in this because she was involved when

0:47:30.719 --> 0:47:34.040
<v Speaker 2>we started potty training. I remember it was like every

0:47:34.120 --> 0:47:36.160
<v Speaker 2>half an hour, you have to take the kids to

0:47:36.200 --> 0:47:39.279
<v Speaker 2>the toilet, sit them down and try and make them

0:47:39.320 --> 0:47:40.839
<v Speaker 2>we and if they don't we.

0:47:40.920 --> 0:47:44.560
<v Speaker 1>You do squeeze them. I just say, like, squeeze the

0:47:44.760 --> 0:47:47.600
<v Speaker 1>out of them. When they do the wei, you have

0:47:47.719 --> 0:47:53.000
<v Speaker 1>to absolutely shower them pardon the pun with praise just

0:47:53.040 --> 0:47:55.760
<v Speaker 1>like they love and show them.

0:47:55.920 --> 0:47:59.400
<v Speaker 2>I mean, Lola loves more than anything. She loves like

0:47:59.440 --> 0:48:02.240
<v Speaker 2>a good job. At the moment, she's still wearing nappies

0:48:02.280 --> 0:48:05.239
<v Speaker 2>at nighttime. Yeah, and every now and then she will

0:48:05.280 --> 0:48:07.399
<v Speaker 2>have a night where the nappy is dry and we're

0:48:07.440 --> 0:48:10.120
<v Speaker 2>like lo la, lo la, and we're all like Miley

0:48:10.239 --> 0:48:11.879
<v Speaker 2>cheers as well. It's like we make a big deal

0:48:11.920 --> 0:48:13.839
<v Speaker 2>out of it, and she loves it. But then it's

0:48:13.840 --> 0:48:17.800
<v Speaker 2>hard because sometimes she'll like clearly have pissed through the

0:48:17.880 --> 0:48:20.000
<v Speaker 2>nappy because she has like eight bottles of water during

0:48:20.040 --> 0:48:23.239
<v Speaker 2>the night, and she's like, I didn't know, I didn't

0:48:23.239 --> 0:48:27.160
<v Speaker 2>piss on my nappy last night, And I'm like, are

0:48:27.160 --> 0:48:27.920
<v Speaker 2>you sure about that?

0:48:28.239 --> 0:48:30.240
<v Speaker 1>And she said, yeah, didn't it And then she tries

0:48:30.280 --> 0:48:31.759
<v Speaker 1>to take it off, yeah, put it in and put

0:48:31.760 --> 0:48:32.880
<v Speaker 1>it in the bin, and I'm like, where's.

0:48:32.600 --> 0:48:34.560
<v Speaker 2>Your nap She's like, I don't know, didn't wear one,

0:48:35.160 --> 0:48:36.440
<v Speaker 2>Give me my chair, give it to me.

0:48:37.680 --> 0:48:40.160
<v Speaker 1>So what you're saying, do you get this? Every time

0:48:40.239 --> 0:48:42.520
<v Speaker 1>this kid doesn't piss on the carpet, I.

0:48:42.440 --> 0:48:44.959
<v Speaker 2>Would say, when they piss in the toilet, you gotta

0:48:45.000 --> 0:48:48.080
<v Speaker 2>you've got to cheer that stuff on. That's like give praise,

0:48:48.320 --> 0:48:49.440
<v Speaker 2>reward the good behavior.

0:48:49.719 --> 0:48:52.759
<v Speaker 1>There you go, that's pretty good vice. Thank you, thank

0:48:52.800 --> 0:48:53.880
<v Speaker 1>you for we live a dislamer.

0:48:53.960 --> 0:48:58.439
<v Speaker 2>If it doesn't work, absolutely no responsibility taken. There you go, Ash,

0:48:58.480 --> 0:48:59.279
<v Speaker 2>we should get out of here.

0:48:59.320 --> 0:49:00.680
<v Speaker 1>We should have. But before we get out of here,

0:49:00.680 --> 0:49:03.799
<v Speaker 1>we are running a little competition. Thanks yeah, little little

0:49:03.800 --> 0:49:08.760
<v Speaker 1>com every week, bro, every week, every week. I also

0:49:09.000 --> 0:49:11.359
<v Speaker 1>just sponsored football team without telling you. So this is fair.

0:49:12.120 --> 0:49:12.840
<v Speaker 1>We're even.

0:49:14.440 --> 0:49:15.759
<v Speaker 2>We're giving away a case of beer.

0:49:15.880 --> 0:49:17.719
<v Speaker 1>We are a case of beer a week. And all

0:49:17.719 --> 0:49:20.400
<v Speaker 1>you have to do is follow Stone and Wood, follow

0:49:20.400 --> 0:49:24.040
<v Speaker 1>two doting dads on Instagram, tag us in a story

0:49:24.080 --> 0:49:26.680
<v Speaker 1>of you listening to us, and we will pick one

0:49:26.760 --> 0:49:28.600
<v Speaker 1>at random. Yeah, and you get a case of beer

0:49:28.719 --> 0:49:31.520
<v Speaker 1>send to your house. It's that simple, so easy.

0:49:31.719 --> 0:49:34.520
<v Speaker 2>And if you have enjoyed this episode, please send it

0:49:34.560 --> 0:49:37.040
<v Speaker 2>on through to anyone else out there. Parent non parent

0:49:37.120 --> 0:49:39.279
<v Speaker 2>who may enjoy it and give us a review if

0:49:39.280 --> 0:49:41.840
<v Speaker 2>you would be so kind, either on Spotify or Apple

0:49:41.880 --> 0:49:44.960
<v Speaker 2>podcast and we'll take both. That would be delicious and

0:49:45.000 --> 0:49:47.279
<v Speaker 2>we'll see you guys next week.

0:49:47.480 --> 0:49:48.600
<v Speaker 1>Thanks guys, Bye bye.

0:49:55.280 --> 0:49:58.880
<v Speaker 2>Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country

0:49:58.920 --> 0:50:02.600
<v Speaker 2>throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.

0:50:02.840 --> 0:50:05.360
<v Speaker 1>We pay our respects to their elders past and present

0:50:05.440 --> 0:50:08.479
<v Speaker 1>and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander

0:50:08.560 --> 0:50:12.200
<v Speaker 1>peoples today. This episode was recorded on gadigal Land