Speaker 1: Do you know what's really fun to say on mid whiffery?
Speaker 1: Mid whiffery, It's fun to say, isn't that I've had better?
Speaker 1: You know, they bring out the government, the government bring
Speaker 1: out some paid placement stuff for like nurses, paramedics and
Speaker 1: mid whiffery.
Speaker 2: I think a funner word is fart lick.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's the fartleck.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to two doing dads. I am Maddie Jay
Speaker 2: and I'm Ash And this is a podcast all about
Speaker 2: parenting and fun words. Fartle like another one, bum fuzzle.
Speaker 1: That the kids in the car right now we go.
Speaker 3: These words are great, umb fuzzle, bum fuzzle.
Speaker 2: In addition to the fun words, we also talk about parenting.
Speaker 1: The good, the bad, and the relatable.
Speaker 2: And if you've come for any type of advice, turn
Speaker 2: this podcast off right now.
Speaker 1: Yes, throw the phone away, throw it right away right now. Actually,
Speaker 1: the only advice that we'd give is this, Matthew, I
Speaker 1: have turned someone, I've swayed someone, okay too. The dark side,
Speaker 1: the dark side, the cloudy pale out which let's crack
Speaker 1: on actually from Stonewall is the one Laura likes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so the other day I had a friend that cheers
Speaker 1: my friend cheers, M. That's delightful. Got spilt it everywhere.
Speaker 2: Sorry, I gotta be excited bouncing myself in the Cloudy Palow.
Speaker 1: I had a mate over the other day, and of
Speaker 1: course I have a fridge full of stone Wood thanks
Speaker 1: to stone Wood and the choice of drop that fine
Speaker 1: evening was the Cloudy palou.
Speaker 2: Did they resist the paleol? Were they forthcoming?
Speaker 1: They were like, I'll give it a go. And then
Speaker 1: I went around to his house the very next day,
Speaker 1: open the fridge and bango four pack. He said, I literally,
Speaker 1: I liked it that much. I got one for this afternoon.
Speaker 1: So I took beers to his house and I walked
Speaker 1: in and he already had some converted. That's the second
Speaker 1: person I've converted.
Speaker 2: It's like we're starting a cult right now.
Speaker 1: Cult following. If you just want something a little bit spicier,
Speaker 1: can't go wrong. Job. So thank you stone Wood as
Speaker 1: always for making these episodes possible.
Speaker 2: Hey, very exciting.
Speaker 1: Ash.
Speaker 2: We have a weekend planned in Byron Bay with the
Speaker 2: family for my brother's fortieth weekend, and it just so happens.
Speaker 2: I didn't do this, this is just the way it
Speaker 2: worked out. That very weekend that we're going to be
Speaker 2: staying in Barron Bay is the exact same weekend that
Speaker 2: there is a very exciting festival.
Speaker 3: Onday Together festal Stone got our basketball take it.
Speaker 2: It's going to be on Saturday, the first of June.
Speaker 1: At the Brewery at the Brewery. We're going to be there,
Speaker 1: We will be and you're going to be there. I'm
Speaker 1: going to be there child free and I'm going to
Speaker 1: be with all the kids.
Speaker 2: But I haven't told Laura this yet. We're staying at Elements,
Speaker 2: which is very n ass and you're staying there as well.
Speaker 1: Yes, Laura doesn't know to her surprise. Well should be disappointed?
Speaker 2: Should I tell her? Or should I just? Should we
Speaker 2: just surprise her at the pool when you rock up.
Speaker 1: Rock up in nothing but budgy smugglers, ready to rock
Speaker 1: and roll. Now there's heaps of people playing at this
Speaker 1: Festival of Stone. Betty Rays, Dan Salton, who else, the Beefs,
Speaker 1: the Boofs, Middrift, Middrift midwif three. But you can get
Speaker 1: your tickets. We'll leave a little link and yeah, come down,
Speaker 1: say gooday.
Speaker 2: And also my favorite part, there is a kids area.
Speaker 2: It's called malt Disney.
Speaker 1: Oh that's great. So I'm going to bring the kids
Speaker 1: word play. There's gonna be each of food trucks and
Speaker 1: stuff there too, So miss out. If you're in town
Speaker 1: or you're around, come down and enjoy the music, but
Speaker 1: also enjoy looking at Maddie and Mina's faces. And Laura
Speaker 1: is very disappointed because her holiday will be ruined by yours.
Speaker 2: Truly, Hey, I gave you a little update yesterday. Ash,
Speaker 2: that's something that I did. I went to an audition.
Speaker 1: You did.
Speaker 2: I can't say what TV show it's for, Okay, I
Speaker 2: have to be that dick who's like.
Speaker 1: Oh you guys.
Speaker 2: I can't give a word that I don't know. I
Speaker 2: don't know, I don't know. It's I am watching my
Speaker 2: phone like a whore. Noticed right now. I'm just like
Speaker 2: any message, I'm.
Speaker 1: Like, is it them? Are they going to tell me them?
Speaker 2: But I was it was a big deal for me.
Speaker 2: It's a big deal for me.
Speaker 1: Were you nervous?
Speaker 2: I was very nervous.
Speaker 1: I'm seeing you really. The only time I've seen you
Speaker 1: nervous was when we were doing the MCing four or
Speaker 1: the podcast would if you were sweet? You were the rock.
Speaker 1: You were our rock right up until a backstage behind
Speaker 1: the doors, and I'm like, let's just get it, and
Speaker 1: you're patient. I was like, where's he go? It's full
Speaker 1: of energy, up and down, up and down. That's the
Speaker 1: only time I really have seen your nerves.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was nervous. And it sucks because you're nervous
Speaker 2: for the things that you want. Yeah, and I haven't
Speaker 2: been to a big audition.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I hated.
Speaker 2: It's like the last time I was thinking that I
Speaker 2: felt these type of nerves was when I went on
Speaker 2: a job interview, you know, and it's I trying to
Speaker 2: talk myself into being in a good place mentally.
Speaker 1: I was like, don't worry.
Speaker 2: I was like, Maddie J You're a good guy.
Speaker 1: I know. The thoughts are worse than the reality of
Speaker 1: it too.
Speaker 2: And one thing that threw me I didn't want to
Speaker 2: know who else was going.
Speaker 1: For this audition. You didn't want to get thrown off.
Speaker 1: You didn't want to get thrown Yeah, because there's always like, oh,
Speaker 1: especially if someone's like very notable or.
Speaker 2: Comparison as a thief to joy I believe something along
Speaker 2: those lines. So I walk into the audition and I'm
Speaker 2: walking to the room where I'm going to be doing
Speaker 2: the audition with all the big dogs, and as I'm
Speaker 2: kind of approaching the door, I then see the person
Speaker 2: who's auditioned before me, meadow Kind. For those of you
Speaker 2: who don't know, he's a lovely guy. I'm a huge
Speaker 2: fan of meadow Kind.
Speaker 1: Very funny, he's lovable, he's got so much experience, great
Speaker 1: stand up comedy.
Speaker 2: And also what made it just so much worse was
Speaker 2: the fact that as he was walking out, the room
Speaker 2: was just erupting and laughter, and he was almost like, guys,
Speaker 2: I've got to and I was and I clocked him
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh fuck, and I was like, hey, dude.
Speaker 1: He was like hey, he was lovely. From that moment on,
Speaker 1: the wind had been taken out of my sails. He
Speaker 1: still did it. I still did it, still did it.
Speaker 2: And I stupidly made the mistake of they said, would
Speaker 2: you like a glass of water? And I said, yes,
Speaker 2: I would like a glass of water. And there was
Speaker 2: a jug and some cups on the table.
Speaker 1: You drank out of the jug.
Speaker 2: I went to pour myself a glass and it was
Speaker 2: like shaking and then and then it was like it
Speaker 2: was a hard jug. It was it was metal. So
Speaker 2: I couldn't see where the water was, and part of
Speaker 2: me is like, I'm just gonna I'm going to retract. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I was. I was trying to be gentle. I didn't
Speaker 2: know like when the water was going to come out,
Speaker 2: so I'm being slow and the dead silence and it
Speaker 2: was just there watching me as I'm like.
Speaker 1: That reminds me of that scene in lia Lie where
Speaker 1: he's like filling out the water. Jes.
Speaker 2: One other thing that also fucking happened to me as well,
Speaker 2: just to just add another layer of self doubt in
Speaker 2: the back of my mind, was the fact that I
Speaker 2: have a purple suit.
Speaker 1: I wore a purple suit. I wore a purple suit.
Speaker 1: It's a beautiful suit. Beautiful suit. It's a lovely suit.
Speaker 2: And I thought, you know what, I'm gonna wear some
Speaker 2: punchy something to grab the attention of the room. People
Speaker 2: love this suit. Whenever I wear it's a crowd place.
Speaker 2: It's different.
Speaker 1: It's like a deep rich. It's a deep rich. I
Speaker 1: have to borrow it. It's something. Well, you probably it's
Speaker 1: busted because I was running a little bit late, which
Speaker 1: is no surprise, but I was like surprised. I was.
Speaker 2: I was leaving at a time when I was going
Speaker 2: to get there like dead on, and I was like,
Speaker 2: I cannot be late for this. I looked down as
Speaker 2: I'm in the car, I look at my crotch and
Speaker 2: the thread has unraveled.
Speaker 1: Oh your cock was dying to get out of there.
Speaker 2: So I was like what do I And split second
Speaker 2: I was like what do I do?
Speaker 1: What did you do? Just powered on?
Speaker 2: Well, I thought, do I get changed? Do I lose
Speaker 2: the purple suit?
Speaker 1: Which absolutely not to me?
Speaker 2: Was like that's all I had going for me. So
Speaker 2: I kept the purple suit and I had and I thought,
Speaker 2: you know what, I'm just going to be straight up
Speaker 2: because I went to touch it as well, and as
Speaker 2: I as I like brushed the fabric, the thread just like.
Speaker 1: It was just opening up.
Speaker 2: I was like Jesus. So I just was honest with
Speaker 2: them and I said, look, guys, my dick's out.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So it was okay. Would you get a laugh
Speaker 1: from that? At least not that you didn't get any
Speaker 1: other laugh.
Speaker 2: I made a joke. I was like, if anyone walks
Speaker 2: past right, you know, and they see that my pants
Speaker 2: are off.
Speaker 1: They go, wow. Matt really wanted that job and that
Speaker 1: was such a dad joke, and they it didn't. They
Speaker 1: looked more like, what is that a joke? I was like,
Speaker 1: they're obviously not parents, Matt. They don't get it. Anyway,
Speaker 1: we'll see, we will the best of luck. I did
Speaker 1: forget to wish you good luck. Yeah, thank you. I
Speaker 1: acknowledged it afterwards though, so I could have not thank you.
Speaker 1: I've also just ran over mattow coin on the way in,
Speaker 1: so he's definitely going to get really appreciate that. He's
Speaker 1: got no knee caps anymore, so good luck. Actually he
Speaker 1: was quite tall, so he probably still get.
Speaker 2: As soon as I have any update, Yeah, please, I
Speaker 2: will share.
Speaker 1: You want to know. I'm sure they're chumping. They want
Speaker 1: to know where they can see more. Maddie j me too,
Speaker 1: Me too.
Speaker 2: So in the coming weeks, I'll be sharing the news
Speaker 2: with a smile on my face or in the corner
Speaker 2: rocking back and forth.
Speaker 1: Right, there all be other opportunities. Oh, thank you, that's
Speaker 1: all right, that's very positive. No, now.
Speaker 2: You're saying that because you think I'm not going to
Speaker 2: get it.
Speaker 1: No, I never said that. Fuck you, you're so self conscious.
Speaker 1: I am saying that as coming from a place where
Speaker 1: If madow Kine does get it, there'll be other opportunities
Speaker 1: and you won't be up against meadow Kine unless he
Speaker 1: can do more than one thing at a time.
Speaker 2: If he gets it, I'm sorry, mad ow Kine, you're
Speaker 2: in drink trouble.
Speaker 1: You're not coming on the podcast. Oh, he's probably like,
Speaker 1: don't need it anymore in other news, man, I don't
Speaker 1: know if you've done this, which I would I have
Speaker 1: done last week, as you know, last week semi busy
Speaker 1: week for us. But on Thursday I went to go
Speaker 1: and collect my child from kindergarten. Sure a good day.
Speaker 1: I'm a doting dad, I would say. And I walked
Speaker 1: in and as I'm walking in, I saw another dad
Speaker 1: I know, right, and he was picking up his kid
Speaker 1: as well. He's also a very doting dad. And we
Speaker 1: were chatting walking in or chatting all things dad, as
Speaker 1: you do quick catch up anyway, So we were walking
Speaker 1: together and he's got a couple of kids, one kid
Speaker 1: that's in Oscars class and one kid that's in Macy's class,
Speaker 1: so age group's great. And I walked in with him
Speaker 1: to go and get his youngest, which is in Macy's class.
Speaker 1: And I walked in with him, and the teachers all
Speaker 1: gave me this funny look, and I was like, his
Speaker 1: eyes Macy inside, They're like, Macy's not here today. I
Speaker 1: did say it's Thursday and thursdays I spent all day
Speaker 1: with Macy, which I did. Oh where was she? She
Speaker 1: was all day with me? But she was just home
Speaker 1: with April. At that moment, I had forgot I'd spent
Speaker 1: the day with her and went and picked her up
Speaker 1: from her kindergarten. Going to pick O Scrup from his kindergarten.
Speaker 2: I reckon, that's gonna happen.
Speaker 1: All the time, I was like, the teachers were like,
Speaker 1: are you okay?
Speaker 2: Did you have to say, Oh God, where's my daughter?
Speaker 2: Don't worry, I know where she is.
Speaker 1: They're like, Macy doesn't come to come here today. I
Speaker 1: know that. I was like, I didn't just spend the
Speaker 1: whole day with her, but yeah, I have literally been.
Speaker 1: We went swimming, rime time, she had a nap. I
Speaker 1: even napped in their room because she didn't want to sleep.
Speaker 1: So I'd legit spent the whole day with Macy. But
Speaker 1: I was so distracted on the way in that you
Speaker 1: went auto pilot. I went into autopilot. Anyway, I have
Speaker 1: like Oscar's in the same preschool kindergarten that day, and
Speaker 1: I walked past his room. So in the meantime, I've
Speaker 1: walked past Oscar's room, He's seen me, and I've just
Speaker 1: been to another room, and I've come down the stairs
Speaker 1: to go all the ramp to go, ohh, get Oscar,
Speaker 1: and he's at the door like like a puppy dog,
Speaker 1: I'm left behind. I walked in and he was like,
Speaker 1: where have you been? And I was like, oh, I
Speaker 1: accidentally and he couldn't quite understand. Anyway. Then I've I've
Speaker 1: managed to rustle all of his stuff together, and I've
Speaker 1: walked out the door and back past the teachers, which
Speaker 1: I already embarrassed myself in and I just got one.
Speaker 1: But all these young girls were like, usually I've got
Speaker 1: it together.
Speaker 2: I think I'm absolutely allowed to do that. Once or twice,
Speaker 2: maybe three times, I was like.
Speaker 1: Fuck, this is embarrassing. Also, I must look terrible because
Speaker 1: I don't know where my daughter is. But they don't
Speaker 1: know that I've spent the day with her. They think
Speaker 1: I've come from work, if you want to call this
Speaker 1: work to collect a child and just like, my child's
Speaker 1: not there. It's like going and there's no child there.
Speaker 1: I'm like, what am I doing here? Who's got Who's
Speaker 1: got Macy? I don't know who knows. I swear to God,
Speaker 1: she's here.
Speaker 2: The only thing that I've done. I don't know if
Speaker 2: you guys have done this, but I've gone to pick
Speaker 2: up the kids. And I'm pretty good on my phone, Like,
Speaker 2: if Laura sends me a text, chances are I'll see
Speaker 2: it within a couple of minutes.
Speaker 1: You'll ignore it.
Speaker 2: But I would never ignore my wife winking to the camera.
Speaker 2: She normally like on Mondays and Wednesdays, I pick up
Speaker 2: the kids and Laura finished work early, so she messaged
Speaker 2: me and said, hey, I'm on the road. I'll just
Speaker 2: go pick them up. I didn't see that text.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 2: I went into daycare and the lady reception was like,
Speaker 2: just look to be very oddly.
Speaker 1: And I remember thinking, that's a weird it's a weird world.
Speaker 1: That's what I got. Yeah, I thought, first of all,
Speaker 1: I thought I almost had a booker or something. Yes,
Speaker 1: And I'm like no.
Speaker 2: She was like, what are you doing here? And I
Speaker 2: was like, I'm picking up my kids? Does it look
Speaker 2: like and.
Speaker 1: She goes, what the fuck are you doing it? And Laura,
Speaker 1: Laura had beat me to it. I'm guessing it probably
Speaker 1: happens all the time, all the time, because like, no
Speaker 1: one can be perfect with their communicating No one is
Speaker 1: perfect ash absolutely not, definitely not me. You and I
Speaker 1: wear two of the same as close to perfect as
Speaker 1: you could be. Other than that.
Speaker 2: Do you know where Macy is today?
Speaker 1: No? I do, because I dropped her off. I think
Speaker 1: I dropped her off the right place. They were definitely
Speaker 1: happy to have her. Whoever, it was just a random
Speaker 1: daycare down the road.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, she's at Calls right now, like the vegetable aisle.
Speaker 1: She what do you forget? She's there. She's so quiet,
Speaker 1: she's starting to come out of a shit she is.
Speaker 1: She's very quirky. She has some quirky things.
Speaker 2: Are we talking about her? Giant ships?
Speaker 1: That's not quirky, that's concerning far. You should have seen
Speaker 1: this ship she did last night. It was about as
Speaker 1: girthy as that can. I call the girl.
Speaker 2: What are you guys feeding her? She's getting into your protein.
Speaker 1: She's like Jack, but she does something quite quirky when
Speaker 1: she sleeps now go on, I'll show you a quick video.
Speaker 1: This will be on our socials. You can pick what
Speaker 1: it is.
Speaker 2: She's just made herself a little roof with most kids,
Speaker 2: like a soft toy in bed with them.
Speaker 1: So when she sleeps, she has to have a book now,
Speaker 1: which is fine. She places the book over her head
Speaker 1: and just goes to sleep.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's just giving herself a bit more shade.
Speaker 1: That's like an hour into her sleep.
Speaker 2: I just walked in and she's like, man, you need
Speaker 2: blinds in that room.
Speaker 1: Nah, She's fine, we're clearly not okay, all right, we're
Speaker 1: figured that out. Then she's like, it's so damn bright.
Speaker 1: Last last night, I April wedding there and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: is she asleep? And I gus, nearly the book's on
Speaker 1: my head. So she falls asleep now with a book
Speaker 1: on her head. She's quite is that the book that
Speaker 1: you read her? Oh? No.
Speaker 2: Also just at the opportunity to say that two dirting
Speaker 2: Dad's quest a free time pre saler is available right now.
Speaker 1: Like, I don't mind that. Laura is very.
Speaker 2: Against anything in bed that's not a soft toy.
Speaker 1: Why. I don't know, why would you want that on
Speaker 1: your head? Though?
Speaker 2: Maybe it's like a comfort thing. I don't know, I know,
Speaker 2: like but if she's sleeping, if it gets her to
Speaker 2: go to bed, if it gets her to sleep quicker, absolutely.
Speaker 1: Like I know other kids have everything they sleep with.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's the most random comforter?
Speaker 1: Yeah in bed or has had that you had to
Speaker 1: pry out of the little hand.
Speaker 2: Anything that's that's like a hard toy. Laura is like,
Speaker 2: you can't cuddle it. It's not coming into bed. Whereas
Speaker 2: I'm liked, as long as it's not a knife, you
Speaker 2: can take it in bed with you.
Speaker 1: You had an abacus, they could get it off. It
Speaker 1: might be in that video. I've had to put it
Speaker 1: at the bottom of the bed. You haven't look. There's
Speaker 1: heaps of shit in there. It's like it starts on
Speaker 1: Monday and then by Friday you're like, come on, that's
Speaker 1: too much. Because Oscar used to line his trucks up
Speaker 1: and cars up and they had to be in order,
Speaker 1: and then he'd just find like a little spot in there.
Speaker 1: You know, there's the kid's weird. You've got something weird
Speaker 1: your kids sleeps with, just send it to us Hello
Speaker 1: at two dads dot com or just damn.
Speaker 2: I think she loves books. It's a good thing. She's
Speaker 2: clearly going to be very intelligent. She wants the advocates,
Speaker 2: she wants books. Next thing is put a calculator in there. Yeah. Hey,
Speaker 2: do you ever have moments where your memory of how
Speaker 2: events will play out with the kids is slightly blurred?
Speaker 2: Like what you think will be a beautiful, pleasant activity
Speaker 2: in reality is a fucking nightmare. But you you fool
Speaker 2: yourself into thinking that it's going to be a good
Speaker 2: idea and enjoyable for all.
Speaker 1: Remember I got Oscar that kite, Yes, that's the kite,
Speaker 1: the kite, and I was like, let's go down and
Speaker 1: find the kite. That'll be awesome. And I couldn't do
Speaker 1: it. It was frustrating, and he was frustrated that kite's now
Speaker 1: where is the eyes are gone? Yeah, it defeated me,
Speaker 1: so I showed it. It's like when you took Marley
Speaker 1: to the Jurassic Park thing, remember and then oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah yeah. I was like, they're gonna love this.
Speaker 2: Turns out dinosaurs, like a life sized t Rex coming
Speaker 2: for your child will torment them.
Speaker 1: I remember as a kid when I went to the
Speaker 1: Easter show that used to have the Robotron. It used
Speaker 1: to eat the cars. Remember, Yeah, I love that. I
Speaker 1: was petrified about how old we are twenty five. Anyway,
Speaker 1: go on on Saturday is gone.
Speaker 2: Laura was away for work, so I had the girls
Speaker 2: on my own, and I am a little bit guilty
Speaker 2: on a Saturday morning. You know, I let the girls
Speaker 2: wake up and if they want to watch TV straight away.
Speaker 1: What I'm like, I do that every morning. What's sure,
Speaker 1: I'll put it on. I always wak a TV. I
Speaker 1: was like that distraction. I'm busy, but then act to sleep.
Speaker 2: So Saturday's are slow, a slow morning, right, No one's
Speaker 2: getting up, No one's like sometimes you know, if we
Speaker 2: don't have breakfast till nine, nine thirty, it cares we're
Speaker 2: gonna We're gonna know what to be. Whereas the girls
Speaker 2: woke up, I actually was feeling pretty good. I woke
Speaker 2: up and I was like six thirty. I actually felt
Speaker 2: pretty awake. And they were saying we you know, sometimes
Speaker 2: kids just get this idea and they had they want something.
Speaker 2: I don't know what's influenced it, but they were like,
Speaker 2: we want pancakes. I want to go out for pancakes
Speaker 2: this morning. And I thought to myself. Do you know
Speaker 2: what I'm up?
Speaker 1: Sure? That sounds amazing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I was like, we could spend the morning
Speaker 2: watching TV, or I know the cafe down the road,
Speaker 2: great cafe.
Speaker 1: Thirty dollars pancakes. It sounds beautiful. I can't wait to
Speaker 1: spend sixty bucks on pancakes. But I was like, if
Speaker 1: you girls get ready now, we'll go get pancakes. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2: And they were great. They were like love that. They
Speaker 2: ran to their room, picked out their outfits. We all
Speaker 2: got ready within like fifteen minutes, and I was like,
Speaker 2: this is going to be a great morning. And I
Speaker 2: was also just like looking at myself in the mirror, going,
Speaker 2: you're a good fucking.
Speaker 1: Down one of the best, Like you know all these.
Speaker 2: Other parents out there still probably no, I mean, easy
Speaker 2: not to point any fingers out cakes, But I went.
Speaker 2: I went to this cafe. Almost straight away, the wheels
Speaker 2: started to unravel. Wheels unraveling.
Speaker 1: No, sure, we'll stick with it anyway.
Speaker 2: But I couldn't get a park, so I was driving
Speaker 2: around in circles and kids are like, Dad, like.
Speaker 1: The cafe, the cafes there, what are you doing? I
Speaker 1: don't understand, and like just come home. I've come home
Speaker 1: with oscars, being like why are we why are we
Speaker 1: not going? I've turned around to come home.
Speaker 2: Well, I was almost at that point. I was just like, fuck,
Speaker 2: I might just ordum like off overeats and.
Speaker 1: Then you just wake them.
Speaker 2: Anyway, because because I would have had to have gone
Speaker 2: to the shops. And also who can be asked to
Speaker 2: make pancakes? If you are out there making pancakes, you
Speaker 2: make mat some. So I've got a park, got there.
Speaker 2: It was actually a bit busy, so I had to
Speaker 2: wait for a table, got the table, and then the
Speaker 2: kids were getting pretty restless. I didn't bring an iPad,
Speaker 2: and I was kind of thinking to myself, Fuck, have
Speaker 2: I made a big mistake. I'm also I'm outnumbered. I'm
Speaker 2: solo with both girls.
Speaker 1: And I was trying, you know, I was trying to
Speaker 1: get the attention of the waiter.
Speaker 2: It was hard to do that. And then the girls
Speaker 2: were like, we don't want pancakes anymore, and I was like, fuck,
Speaker 2: I've missed the pancake window. Now they're like, Dad, it's
Speaker 2: dinner time, and I was like I was trying to
Speaker 2: get him back on the pancake tracking like no, no, no, no.
Speaker 2: I remember remember the dream this morning.
Speaker 1: Remembers had a dream together.
Speaker 2: We all wanted pancakes, and then I kind of got
Speaker 2: them back on board, and I was like, fucking hell
Speaker 2: so good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was. I was hyping up.
Speaker 2: I was hyping up the pancakes.
Speaker 1: Ice cream, big mistake ice cream.
Speaker 2: So then order the pancakes. I was waiting for the
Speaker 2: pancakes to come. At this stage, the girls were like,
Speaker 2: you know, they weren't on the seats anymore.
Speaker 1: They were like roaming around. They were like Lola was.
Speaker 2: Walking into white stuff. As I was trying to bring up,
Speaker 2: you know, because the table we got with right next
Speaker 2: to where the kitchen was, so all the weight stuff
Speaker 2: are kind of coming out. And I got to say,
Speaker 2: one of the worst foods imaginable for kids is pancakes. Fine,
Speaker 2: my gripe is not with a pancake. My gripe is
Speaker 2: with maple syrup. Oh, whoever invented maple syrup should have
Speaker 2: said specifically, no kids, no kids.
Speaker 1: Sticky. It's sticky everywhere. It's like honey.
Speaker 2: It's just like honey. It's like when you get the
Speaker 2: honey out before you've even started pouring the honey. Honey
Speaker 2: is fucking everywhere. Dude's your hands on the bench top.
Speaker 1: Well, when you go to pick the honey thing up,
Speaker 1: the honey is being stuck to the whatever bench it's
Speaker 1: on you. Like, hang on a second.
Speaker 2: There's honey on like handles, there's honey on just you're
Speaker 2: going to you're going to bed. There's honey on your pillow.
Speaker 2: Like I didn't even come into.
Speaker 1: My bedroom pillow. Different reason.
Speaker 2: The pancakes come all of a sudden. Lowell is just
Speaker 2: like she's just dropping the cutlery.
Speaker 1: The maple syrup is gone. Every maple syrup makes it
Speaker 1: stick to her. You're trying to say this holes in
Speaker 1: my story, Yeah, anyway is flipping about with it.
Speaker 2: So there's just maple syrup every where. Of course I
Speaker 2: didn't bring the wipes. Was it like a It was
Speaker 2: like a ramikin. It was a rectanging, fancy pan.
Speaker 1: It was just one of those ramakans. What did you
Speaker 1: call it? What is a ramikin?
Speaker 2: A ramikin is a small ceramic dish that's designed for
Speaker 2: baking traditional French desserts. No, No, it's from maple syrup.
Speaker 2: All right, got it?
Speaker 1: Thank you?
Speaker 2: Anyway, so Laura's covered had to tell maple syrup. She's
Speaker 2: dripping in maple syrup right now. She's she's just yeah,
Speaker 2: the ramikin is just Ramikin's gone ass up. Laura's drenched
Speaker 2: in maple syrup and like daddy, hell they drink it. No,
Speaker 2: Lola just everywhere. And then she also was like she's
Speaker 2: now like completely against the pancakes. She's just like I
Speaker 2: don't want pancakes. Yeah, She's like I never wanted them.
Speaker 1: Yeah. They think jam jam is also jam is delicious.
Speaker 1: If there's what there's one thing kids hate, it's being sticky.
Speaker 1: They do oscar walked in last night. I don't know
Speaker 1: what he'd have. He was at Popper's, walked in and
Speaker 1: he's like, I need a white I was like, wow, yes,
Speaker 1: my heads are sticky.
Speaker 2: Just be like, don't you worry.
Speaker 1: Don't sticky. So it was a disaster. It was what
Speaker 1: you thought would be a nice moment.
Speaker 2: Anything sticky should not be near a toddler.
Speaker 1: Absolutely agree.
Speaker 2: By the time the girls had like had enough, then
Speaker 2: my meal came, so I had to like scoff in
Speaker 2: a couple of mouthfuls of bacon and eggs and then
Speaker 2: getting back in the car and got back home.
Speaker 1: And it was midnight.
Speaker 2: It was I was like, that's like, what was I thinking?
Speaker 1: Make it yourself? Who?
Speaker 2: Who the fuck did I think? I was expecting to
Speaker 2: have a fun experience with maple syrup and pancakes at
Speaker 2: a cafe on my own with the two kids, without.
Speaker 1: That guy in the mirror. Next time, when you're like
Speaker 1: you are a good dad, be like, but is this
Speaker 1: the right decision for me? There's no good time to
Speaker 1: take risks with the kids, never, especially when you're on
Speaker 1: your own. I always say that, I've always said that
Speaker 1: piece of advice. If there's any like, if there's any
Speaker 1: risk involved, just put the TV on. Let them watch
Speaker 1: pancakes on YouTube. Much cleaner result, Matt, I do have
Speaker 1: something to tell you. It might come as a surprise,
Speaker 1: or you might have seen the business bank account and thought,
Speaker 1: where's this money? April's pregnant? No, I've had a second
Speaker 1: me if she's pregnant? Who is he?
Speaker 2: I haven't looked at the account. Can I just hang
Speaker 2: on a second?
Speaker 1: I want to apologize in advance. I am known for
Speaker 1: a rational spending.
Speaker 2: Sorry the face, there's one thousand dollars missing?
Speaker 1: Is that all? Well? Let's go with that. Yeah, there's
Speaker 1: more than that missing. But yes, we've made it, my friends,
Speaker 1: we have finally made it.
Speaker 2: We agreed that any big ticket purchase was one that
Speaker 2: we would both agree with a grief. We have a
Speaker 2: joint account.
Speaker 1: It has to be unanimous. Will you agree to that?
Speaker 1: I didn't. What have you spent the money on? Will
Speaker 1: I be annoyed? No? Okay? Well, actually I'm going to
Speaker 1: say I'm giving back to the community just to try
Speaker 1: and smooth this over. Okay, explain we now are proud
Speaker 1: sponsors of a football team.
Speaker 2: Okay, because you did for a period. For a period
Speaker 2: is it Manly? Because you know you can sponsor a
Speaker 2: player on Manly?
Speaker 1: I wish it was. We couldn't afford that. Okay, that
Speaker 1: you would have gone?
Speaker 2: How much was the Manly sponsorship?
Speaker 1: Twelve and a half grands?
Speaker 2: Yeak great?
Speaker 1: Only for one player for home games.
Speaker 2: So we haven't got that.
Speaker 1: We haven't got that. So we haven't got sorry, Brooksy.
Speaker 1: How we going? Have we gone to?
Speaker 2: Like the new South Wales Cup?
Speaker 1: No? Like one below? What did? Like?
Speaker 2: What division?
Speaker 1: Is it? It's football? Though it's football, it's rugby union.
Speaker 1: I sponsored a team that we could afford, the Lambie
Speaker 1: Jets who are the Lamby Jets. Well they're an under
Speaker 1: sixteen that Oscar plays in. So now, like I said,
Speaker 1: I'm giving back. Look, I'll tell you the real story.
Speaker 1: There was these group of under six year old kids
Speaker 1: who really really wanted to play football, but no one
Speaker 1: could afford to play. So we stepped in as two
Speaker 1: doting dads of the community and have now paid for
Speaker 1: this team to be a part of the competition. Community service.
Speaker 1: We're giving back to our community.
Speaker 2: Okay, we sponsor we now we own.
Speaker 1: We don't own them. Be mindful of that we sponsor them. Okay,
Speaker 1: we're their major sponsor, granted their only sponsor, but that
Speaker 1: makes us their major sponsored by default.
Speaker 2: Look, there's a lovely sentiment behind this sponsorship. I'm not
Speaker 2: gonna argue with that. I think it's great.
Speaker 1: What do we like?
Speaker 2: What's the What do we get as part of the sponsorship?
Speaker 1: Are we get them? We get to see the smile
Speaker 1: on those kids. Did we just pay for the registration
Speaker 1: fees for all the kids? Yeah, they got and we paid.
Speaker 1: We bought them jumpers. Okay, let's say two don't dads.
Speaker 2: Can we get the kids to make the jumpers?
Speaker 1: That it's called Child Labor Matt And we didn't sponsor
Speaker 1: a child labour team. Maybe next year, but they have,
Speaker 1: we have started, but Grant has been raining a lot,
Speaker 1: so we I will keep you updated on the team's
Speaker 1: success because I'm nothing if I'm not going to be
Speaker 1: able to update you on their success. Who's the coach?
Speaker 1: Look that that varies at the moment. The coach is
Speaker 1: the is the head coach for the North Sydney Bears,
Speaker 1: So he's qualified. That's Zach Zach. Yes, I know Zach Yah.
Speaker 1: Zach's lovely credentials very high.
Speaker 2: Does he have a kid or did we just rope
Speaker 2: him in?
Speaker 1: What's the best answer for that? He has a kid?
Speaker 1: His kids the captain hang the deal?
Speaker 2: Hang on a second part of the deal.
Speaker 1: Macy also plays.
Speaker 3: Macy also plays off that one. And does does she
Speaker 3: actually play or is she just like she's just there?
Speaker 1: She's like she's like number one cheerleader. It's very cute. Okay,
Speaker 1: I will get footage. I will share it with the
Speaker 1: listeners to see how let them know how they're going.
Speaker 1: Some of them listen to us already. But I thought
Speaker 1: it was the most perfect marketing ploy. I did spend
Speaker 1: a lot of money on stubby coolers and jumpers for
Speaker 1: everyone in the community. But that's okay because it's it's.
Speaker 2: It's a good it's a it's a when it's getting
Speaker 2: the it's the getting the name out there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, oll next episode, I'll bring some stubby coolers
Speaker 1: in for the.
Speaker 2: Do the kids they what are they playing for?
Speaker 1: Do they play?
Speaker 2: Do they win a trophy?
Speaker 1: Again? I mean, but if I've got more good now, if.
Speaker 2: I'm going to sponsor a team, I want that team
Speaker 2: to be at the top.
Speaker 1: They're elite of the compe six year olds that we
Speaker 1: want to Okay, great, okay, but also you have signed
Speaker 1: you up to do a job. You are the water boy,
Speaker 1: the love water. You've got to drive all the way
Speaker 1: to a lamby on Friday nights. The good thing is
Speaker 1: they have a sausage sizzle. Okay, we may or may
Speaker 1: not have paid for that, and an open bar with Stonewoods.
Speaker 1: We may or may not have paid for that too.
Speaker 1: I thought, this is my thinking behind it, to run
Speaker 1: me through your thought process thought one giving back the community.
Speaker 1: It's like a low tier why I did it? High
Speaker 1: tier of why I actually did it is I don't
Speaker 1: want to sit it on a Saturday morning watching my
Speaker 1: kid play a sporty fucking hates Okay, no one wants
Speaker 1: to do that. It's cold, it's raining. Sometimes I drive
Speaker 1: past those people and think, not yet, wait till he's older.
Speaker 1: But this competition happens to be on a Friday night
Speaker 1: or afternoon, which includes beverages and the sausage that we
Speaker 1: may not have paid for and the beers that we
Speaker 1: may have made have paid for. So it's a win
Speaker 1: win for me. Is April happy? No? When is she ever? Have? No?
Speaker 1: She is happy except for when it's cold up there,
Speaker 1: okay in the hills. But anyway, there we go. We've
Speaker 1: made the crack that time we've been talking about it
Speaker 1: for ages.
Speaker 2: Has the deal been done as a contract science and
Speaker 2: the jumpers made?
Speaker 1: Yes? Okay, fuck done, it's done. It's a done deal. Congratulations.
Speaker 1: I look forward.
Speaker 2: I look forward to going on Friday and seeing my
Speaker 2: investment in person.
Speaker 1: You will probably be did.
Speaker 2: I have a little issue with Lola at the moment
Speaker 2: with bedtime? It's a little it's a little hack.
Speaker 1: You gotta know that parenting hack.
Speaker 2: This is a parenting hack ash that may change your life.
Speaker 1: Go for it okay. So my issue with Lola is
Speaker 1: that she gets up quite a lot, as we know
Speaker 1: from Laura's four minutes away.
Speaker 2: She tries to claim that it's up to seven times
Speaker 2: in evening. But Lola wakes up, she wants.
Speaker 1: A bottle of water, warm water. She's very thirsty warm water.
Speaker 2: It's a problem and it just sucks because you know,
Speaker 2: we want that the deeply, we want the rem sleep.
Speaker 2: We can't get it because lock it's waking us up.
Speaker 1: Camelback. Well, you're on the right track. Here's a solution.
Speaker 1: Are you serious. That's what you give pet rabbits slash toddlers.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say it. That's fucked up. Why is
Speaker 1: it fucked up? Well, because that's what you give the
Speaker 1: household pet that lives in a cage. The water is water.
Speaker 1: That ain't right.
Speaker 2: Look how happy the kid is. For anyone who does
Speaker 2: not quite understand what we're talking about, they've got it
Speaker 2: looks like a rabbit. Yeah, like what you'd give a
Speaker 2: hamster or a guinea pig. And it's been zip tied
Speaker 2: to the backboard like the back bed frame, so the
Speaker 2: child can wake up and at any moment throughout the
Speaker 2: night ash suck on the end, they can simply lean
Speaker 2: over and get h two.
Speaker 1: Oh, what about a water bottle? Both my kids have
Speaker 1: water bottles.
Speaker 2: But what happens when the water bottle gets empty?
Speaker 1: Look back up? How much water is she drinking at night? Camelback?
Speaker 1: That that is not on. I'm just gonna say it.
Speaker 1: If I go upstairs, one of them going to be
Speaker 1: attached to your kid's bed.
Speaker 2: Your line of what's acceptable and what's not is so
Speaker 2: hard to judge.
Speaker 1: I like to keep it spicy, you know.
Speaker 2: Let's go to the segment. Let's get into it.
Speaker 1: That is fucked. I'm just saying that.
Speaker 2: We're getting into the segment. I'm just I'm annoying. You
Speaker 2: don't like my my parenting hat.
Speaker 1: How are you going to do it? I've done it.
Speaker 1: So let's get petty couples out. Petty couple, Welcome down
Speaker 1: the street. Petty couple. They cannot like it with me,
Speaker 1: dirty couple. I love you, but immit you, no one
Speaker 1: can push me quite like you. All right, Matt. This
Speaker 1: is the segment where people send in the petty things
Speaker 1: that they do this to significant other, whether it's malice
Speaker 1: or not. I do not mind.
Speaker 2: Have you had much pettiness this week, ash and eating petty.
Speaker 2: That's worth mentioning.
Speaker 1: I'm working on some things. Oh, don't want to give
Speaker 1: it away. No, I did something quite petty.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, I feel like I'm always the one filling
Speaker 2: up the car. Whenever I get in the car, it's
Speaker 2: always like the lights on and it's it's not that
Speaker 2: big of a deal. I get that. But I jumped
Speaker 2: into Laura's car. We swapped cars and Laura's cars driving
Speaker 2: it around for the day. The light came on and
Speaker 2: I was like, do you know what it's time? You've
Speaker 2: hel up the car.
Speaker 1: Laura cheers to that. My friend cheers to that.
Speaker 2: I will say I knew she had enough left in
Speaker 2: the tank to get her to work.
Speaker 1: I've done a similar thing where I've got in the
Speaker 1: car car.
Speaker 2: Wait, can I just say, if you saw Laura's stories
Speaker 2: actually broke down recently in the tunnel, was not me?
Speaker 1: Not related? April Leaves does the same thing and I'm
Speaker 1: get in and because it's got the countdown of how
Speaker 1: long's there, I thought sixty k's I got heaps, But
Speaker 1: I knew she had to get up and go to
Speaker 1: the gym in the morning at like an ungodly hour
Speaker 1: that she does. So I didn't fill it up and
Speaker 1: got it down to like enough for her to be like,
Speaker 1: am I going to make it or not? Five in
Speaker 1: the morning. She made it, but it would have been
Speaker 1: that initial and I did it to be petty.
Speaker 2: And that's why we love our partners, because these are
Speaker 2: the games we can play.
Speaker 1: Until they leave us. Can I go first? Can I
Speaker 1: go first? That sounded it? Can I have some more? Please?
Speaker 1: Excuse me? Can I go first? Can I go first?
Speaker 1: Young Matthew? This one's from Emma go on. One day,
Speaker 1: my husband said we need to start eating healthier and
Speaker 1: cooking healthier. It's a common argument. Don't put it on
Speaker 1: your wife. You do it, mate, Yeah, and then she's
Speaker 1: puts him back it. Trust me, what we eat is
Speaker 1: healthy enough. Very good, Emma, Very good for you for
Speaker 1: having variation balance in your diet. I hate cooking at
Speaker 1: the best of time. So this is what I made
Speaker 1: him for dinner. What is it? It's a carrot shaped
Speaker 1: and a rude finger. I thought that was salmon for
Speaker 1: a second, like sashimi.
Speaker 2: No, it's if he's.
Speaker 1: Getting sashimi for dinner. If he's getting just carrots, then
Speaker 1: where's the protein.
Speaker 2: I think would be more infuriating if you're already delivering
Speaker 2: delicious meals that are healthy, I want healthier.
Speaker 1: I don't know what's healthier than a carrot? Tell you what,
Speaker 1: nothing asked.
Speaker 2: This one is from Jessica Keegan Keigan. I don't know
Speaker 2: if we just said it, Jesus balad for anyone wondering.
Speaker 2: Ash sent me a video of a young TikToker. All
Speaker 2: she does is mud of the words Ash, take it
Speaker 2: away salad, chicken caesar salad.
Speaker 1: For those adults are listening who will not know what
Speaker 1: that means, I'm a child.
Speaker 2: It's very addictive. Worth a watch, Okay. After a disagreement,
Speaker 2: Jessica says with her husband, I cut the bristles off
Speaker 2: his toothbrush. But then she'd forgotten that she did it
Speaker 2: until until it was the next morning when he went
Speaker 2: to brush's teeth, and then he found out what she'd done.
Speaker 2: Ended in tears of laughter, of laughter all fun and games.
Speaker 1: Everyone's having a good time, having a good time.
Speaker 2: And that's what this game is about. Having fun. Absolutely
Speaker 2: no one's no one's getting offended.
Speaker 1: But if they are, I also want to know. Very
Speaker 1: good Matt should we just finish on some question. Oh,
Speaker 1: I will ash if I may just very quickly Ash.
Speaker 2: We did a little a real on our Instagram and
Speaker 2: I want to say it was quite funny. It was
Speaker 2: it was about the perfect evening. Oh yes, what what
Speaker 2: partners can do? And it was, you know, the perfect
Speaker 2: evening would be for us. It would be putting the
Speaker 2: kids to bed, pouring our wives a glass of wine,
Speaker 2: ordering thie, and then giving them a sweet treat later
Speaker 2: when we see sweet treat. We won't go into details.
Speaker 1: Up to interpretation. Yeah, but you know what I'm doing.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm talking about. And I out of interest,
Speaker 2: I put the call out there and said, hey, for
Speaker 2: you people on social media people.
Speaker 1: What would be the dream evening? And I've got met
Speaker 1: galleryesh I go you people I got, I said.
Speaker 2: I said to the good, the good people of social
Speaker 2: media friends. I said to our friends, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2: I said, my friend, what.
Speaker 1: Makes you happy? What makes you happy? What would be.
Speaker 2: Your dream evening? And the varied responses okay, I got
Speaker 2: from people, give me a mixture.
Speaker 1: I don't want to say names. This One person just
Speaker 1: wrote anal I'm sorry I wrote that in.
Speaker 2: The fucking dishes.
Speaker 1: Someone someone needs to see a counselort.
Speaker 2: This one says she wants a massage that doesn't end
Speaker 2: with the expectation of sex afterwards.
Speaker 1: Newsflash, no such thing. In my defense.
Speaker 2: In my defense, I sometimes give Laura a massage with
Speaker 2: absolutely no intention for it to end up that way.
Speaker 2: But sometimes when you're massaging the back of a beautiful
Speaker 2: woman who happens to be my.
Speaker 1: Wife, things slip in.
Speaker 2: I get excited, excited, but I can imagine sometimes it's
Speaker 2: nice to receive a gift without the expectation to have
Speaker 2: to give something in return. Got a lot of people
Speaker 2: asking for foot rubs, and this person says, nap pizza, sex,
Speaker 2: that is Allang, that's good, and she goes.
Speaker 1: She goes pizza, then she has ps.
Speaker 2: I've not had a partner for five years, so that
Speaker 2: would be the dream right now. This one says, leave
Speaker 2: me alone? Is that from me from April Wicks? Oh good,
Speaker 2: good good fresh linen on the bed.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's on April special. That one another one here,
Speaker 1: so much feet rubbing. Everyone wants their feet rubbed hot
Speaker 1: in here.
Speaker 3: When's Laura coming home? Bring those size twelve feet of
Speaker 3: hers home? She has beautiful flippers. But the majority of these,
Speaker 3: like this is the most standard one. Empty the dishwasher,
Speaker 3: hook dinner, give me massage, put the kids to bed,
Speaker 3: and then a massage massage of the I picked that
Speaker 3: up vaginal area.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but this is basic needs. This is this is.
Speaker 2: So the bar is low for any man out there
Speaker 2: who are like, what.
Speaker 1: Do I get um doing? What do I do? Just like,
Speaker 1: just answer the.
Speaker 2: Take the bin out and then rub.
Speaker 1: Some feet vagina or of a china with your feet.
Speaker 1: That is that is it?
Speaker 2: Hey, to those people who have just informed you're welcome
Speaker 2: to their partners, you're also welcome. I can only imagine
Speaker 2: when this comes out the amount of foot rubs that
Speaker 2: I happening all around Australia.
Speaker 1: Do you guys play this little piggy the other time? No?
Speaker 2: Actually she loves the toes being pulled. Anyway, Enough about that,
Speaker 2: it's got let's got a listen of questions.
Speaker 1: This is a question from Melissa. But also I'm strng
Speaker 1: with the same thing I'm always seem to be struggling
Speaker 1: with this one fucking thing. Alice wants to know how
Speaker 1: does she get her kids to sleep in their own bed?
Speaker 1: I have no fucking idea. Okay me either, because I
Speaker 1: Oscar seriously bro.
Speaker 2: What I was told by some parents ash, which is
Speaker 2: advice that I didn't even remotely try and follow at all.
Speaker 2: The First time the kids come into your bed, you've
Speaker 2: got to be very stern from the beginning. You've got
Speaker 2: to put them back into their bed and you go.
Speaker 2: That's You've got to set the expectation there is no
Speaker 2: place for them in your bed.
Speaker 1: I thought all my farting would deter them. No, they
Speaker 1: seem to draw them in quicker.
Speaker 2: The issue with that, though, is that I always take
Speaker 2: the path of least resistance, go into that. So if
Speaker 2: they want to come into my bed like whatever, it
Speaker 2: doesn't bother me.
Speaker 1: It does bother me, though. It does because he headbuts me.
Speaker 1: He laughs in his sleep like some sort of freak.
Speaker 1: Just keeps me awake. It's driving me crazy.
Speaker 2: Why didn't you, Why didn't you when Oscar first came
Speaker 2: into your bed, Why don't you quickly put them back
Speaker 2: into his bed and say, Oscar, this bed is yours,
Speaker 2: Stay out of mind.
Speaker 1: That's a very good follow up question, Matt. I really
Speaker 1: appreciate that I didn't, because they share a room. Him
Speaker 1: and mazy, so if I take him back, he'll carry
Speaker 1: on wake her up.
Speaker 2: I feel like that's a common fear for parents out there.
Speaker 1: It is we just go path of least resistance. So, Melissa,
Speaker 1: I don't have an answer for you. Matt has some
Speaker 1: sort of advice you got from someone but never implemented it.
Speaker 1: So maybe you can implement that and give us enough.
Speaker 1: I would.
Speaker 2: I would try that. Otherwise, lock your door. What if
Speaker 2: this emergency, We'll deal with that as it comes.
Speaker 1: Absolutely fully agree, lock the door. You could just time
Speaker 1: to the bed.
Speaker 2: Just an idea, there's the solution. Next question, this is
Speaker 2: an interesting one. I don't know if this is just
Speaker 2: a boy thing. My girls don't do this. Her name
Speaker 2: is Everly, and she says, how do I stop my
Speaker 2: five year old from whipping it out and pinging on
Speaker 2: the bedroom carpet. You've got a dog, you're five years
Speaker 2: you've been mistaken, and you've taken a dog home from
Speaker 2: the hospital.
Speaker 1: How did he learn to do that first of all?
Speaker 1: Or was she just like taking upon himself to be
Speaker 1: like that looks like anice patch of carp But I'm
Speaker 1: going to piss on.
Speaker 2: That's a weird habit. That's a weird habit. I've never
Speaker 2: heard of kids like like willfully pissing, just insighting every
Speaker 2: now and then Lola, who doesn't wear a nappy during
Speaker 2: the day, she'll be really into a game and she
Speaker 2: just she'd like, will wait so long, and then as
Speaker 2: she's like running to the toilet, she's like and then
Speaker 2: she'll just stand and she'll like wear herself.
Speaker 1: And slip it. And I'm like, what are you doing?
Speaker 2: No, I don't, I says, I say. If you say,
Speaker 2: WHOOPSI daisy pants, I never would never do that.
Speaker 1: Na, But no, I don't know kids not wilfully just
Speaker 1: like whipping it out. That's an interesting one. Well, thankfully
Speaker 1: I have a solution, So everybody listen, hit me. Treat
Speaker 1: it like a puppy, I would say, so, like you know,
Speaker 1: when you have a new puppy. If also those of
Speaker 1: you don't puppy pad, maybe try a puppy pad, do
Speaker 1: you know? Okay, I got one, so it's like a
Speaker 1: sense and then slowly move the puppy pad closer to
Speaker 1: the toilet.
Speaker 2: When I when I started potty training, when we I
Speaker 2: should include Lawa in this because she was involved when
Speaker 2: we started potty training. I remember it was like every
Speaker 2: half an hour, you have to take the kids to
Speaker 2: the toilet, sit them down and try and make them
Speaker 2: we and if they don't we.
Speaker 1: You do squeeze them. I just say, like, squeeze the
Speaker 1: out of them. When they do the wei, you have
Speaker 1: to absolutely shower them pardon the pun with praise just
Speaker 1: like they love and show them.
Speaker 2: I mean, Lola loves more than anything. She loves like
Speaker 2: a good job. At the moment, she's still wearing nappies
Speaker 2: at nighttime. Yeah, and every now and then she will
Speaker 2: have a night where the nappy is dry and we're
Speaker 2: like lo la, lo la, and we're all like Miley
Speaker 2: cheers as well. It's like we make a big deal
Speaker 2: out of it, and she loves it. But then it's
Speaker 2: hard because sometimes she'll like clearly have pissed through the
Speaker 2: nappy because she has like eight bottles of water during
Speaker 2: the night, and she's like, I didn't know, I didn't
Speaker 2: piss on my nappy last night, And I'm like, are
Speaker 2: you sure about that?
Speaker 1: And she said, yeah, didn't it And then she tries
Speaker 1: to take it off, yeah, put it in and put
Speaker 1: it in the bin, and I'm like, where's.
Speaker 2: Your nap She's like, I don't know, didn't wear one,
Speaker 2: Give me my chair, give it to me.
Speaker 1: So what you're saying, do you get this? Every time
Speaker 1: this kid doesn't piss on the carpet, I.
Speaker 2: Would say, when they piss in the toilet, you gotta
Speaker 2: you've got to cheer that stuff on. That's like give praise,
Speaker 2: reward the good behavior.
Speaker 1: There you go, that's pretty good vice. Thank you, thank
Speaker 1: you for we live a dislamer.
Speaker 2: If it doesn't work, absolutely no responsibility taken. There you go, Ash,
Speaker 2: we should get out of here.
Speaker 1: We should have. But before we get out of here,
Speaker 1: we are running a little competition. Thanks yeah, little little
Speaker 1: com every week, bro, every week, every week. I also
Speaker 1: just sponsored football team without telling you. So this is fair.
Speaker 1: We're even.
Speaker 2: We're giving away a case of beer.
Speaker 1: We are a case of beer a week. And all
Speaker 1: you have to do is follow Stone and Wood, follow
Speaker 1: two doting dads on Instagram, tag us in a story
Speaker 1: of you listening to us, and we will pick one
Speaker 1: at random. Yeah, and you get a case of beer
Speaker 1: send to your house. It's that simple, so easy.
Speaker 2: And if you have enjoyed this episode, please send it
Speaker 2: on through to anyone else out there. Parent non parent
Speaker 2: who may enjoy it and give us a review if
Speaker 2: you would be so kind, either on Spotify or Apple
Speaker 2: podcast and we'll take both. That would be delicious and
Speaker 2: we'll see you guys next week.
Speaker 1: Thanks guys, Bye bye.
Speaker 2: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
Speaker 2: throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander
Speaker 1: peoples today. This episode was recorded on gadigal Land