1 00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:13,600 Speaker 1: Welcome to the Rise and Conquer Podcasts. This podcast is 2 00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:16,599 Speaker 1: for women who want to take ownership of their lives, 3 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:21,280 Speaker 1: live unapologetically, and are ready to turn their biggest dreams 4 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:24,880 Speaker 1: into their reality. If you're ready to be armed with 5 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:29,040 Speaker 1: the tools that will inspire to take bold action, feel 6 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:33,080 Speaker 1: confident within yourself, and conquer your goals, then you've come 7 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:37,160 Speaker 1: to the right place. I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson. I'm 8 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:41,480 Speaker 1: a lawyer turned entrepreneur, co founder of Naked Harvest Supplements, 9 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:45,800 Speaker 1: and social media personality with a community of over three 10 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:49,760 Speaker 1: hundred thousand. I grew up believing I had to pursue 11 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:53,240 Speaker 1: the safe option and fit into a mold others had 12 00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:56,400 Speaker 1: created for me. But then I entered my corporate law 13 00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:59,640 Speaker 1: job and I realized that settling for a reality that 14 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:02,720 Speaker 1: did I didn't set my soul on fire, was something I 15 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:06,120 Speaker 1: was not prepared to do. I wanted more, and I 16 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 1: have a feeling you do too. Join me and special 17 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,800 Speaker 1: guests weekly as we get down to the nitty gritty 18 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:17,959 Speaker 1: on all things health, mastering your mindset, creating lasting habits, 19 00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:22,240 Speaker 1: thriving in your career and relationships, plus so much more, 20 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:27,000 Speaker 1: and together we'll gain the knowledge and perspective to pursue 21 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:31,000 Speaker 1: our wildest dreams and kick fear to the curb. Well, 22 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:40,480 Speaker 1: what are you waiting for? Let's Rise and Conquer. Hey, guys, 23 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:44,440 Speaker 1: and welcome to another episode of the Rise and Conquer podcast. 24 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:47,880 Speaker 1: Today on the show, I'm joined by award winning psycho 25 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:52,480 Speaker 1: sexologist Chantell Otten. She is so passionate about empowering people 26 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:57,160 Speaker 1: with their sexual health, self esteem and communication. Chantal grew 27 00:01:57,240 --> 00:02:00,560 Speaker 1: up studying in Holland with a European mindset that talking 28 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:04,560 Speaker 1: about sex, pleasure and relationships does not have to be shameful. 29 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:09,400 Speaker 1: She has a background in scientific research, sexual medicine and counseling, 30 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:12,680 Speaker 1: and she believes that sexuality is an important part of 31 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:17,160 Speaker 1: life which everyone is entitled to. In today's chat, Chantelle 32 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:20,720 Speaker 1: answers some questions from the Rise and Conquer community page. 33 00:02:20,919 --> 00:02:24,280 Speaker 1: I put in a little questions thing and the whole 34 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:28,200 Speaker 1: community had so many questions. So we are covering everything 35 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:33,399 Speaker 1: from sex, drive, orgasms, confidence, plus so much more. When 36 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:38,040 Speaker 1: we were recording this episode, you might notice some ruffling 37 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:43,040 Speaker 1: in the background with Chantelle's microphone. We are doing what 38 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:46,840 Speaker 1: we can with the editing, but honestly, guys, this episode 39 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:50,240 Speaker 1: is so good and so important. I found it so insightful, 40 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:54,160 Speaker 1: so just try and push through. And also after the call, 41 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:57,400 Speaker 1: Chantell did give me a code for her sexual self 42 00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 1: esteem guides and mini course, so I'll put that in 43 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:03,400 Speaker 1: the show notes too, because I noticed a huge theme 44 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:07,160 Speaker 1: in the Rise and Conker facebook page was our women 45 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:10,440 Speaker 1: basically just not feeling confident in the bedroom. And as 46 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:14,079 Speaker 1: Chantelle says, this is something that is all about perception 47 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:17,840 Speaker 1: and that is easily overcome. So I hope you enjoyed 48 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:22,080 Speaker 1: this episode. It was very highly requested and it is 49 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:25,920 Speaker 1: a goodie. Let's get into the show. Hey, Chantelle, welcome 50 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:26,600 Speaker 1: to the show. 51 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:29,360 Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited 52 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:31,960 Speaker 2: to be here and sorry it took so long to 53 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:36,560 Speaker 2: get around to having a chat. My fault absolutely not yours, 54 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:37,360 Speaker 2: but here we are. 55 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:41,400 Speaker 1: No no worries at all. You are a busy bee. 56 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:44,920 Speaker 1: But my community is very excited for this chat. I 57 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:48,600 Speaker 1: did put Q and A in our Facebook group and yeah, 58 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:51,800 Speaker 1: everyone was very keen. So I'm excited to get into. 59 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:53,560 Speaker 3: It with you. Let's do it. 60 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:57,680 Speaker 1: So before we get into the good stuff, the juicy stuff. 61 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:01,160 Speaker 1: Something I asked all my guests if what season are 62 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:03,960 Speaker 1: you currently in and what I kind of mean by 63 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:07,640 Speaker 1: that is just what are you currently prioritizing in your life. 64 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:12,400 Speaker 2: Oh, such a really interesting one, because I was thinking 65 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:16,479 Speaker 2: about this yesterday. My life is very much about I'm 66 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:22,240 Speaker 2: very work orientated at the moment and also quality time orientated. 67 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:25,360 Speaker 2: So if I'm at work, I'm trying to give it 68 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:28,800 Speaker 2: my all. I'm someone that has, you know, quite a 69 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:31,440 Speaker 2: few things on the go. I've got about nine jobs 70 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:35,720 Speaker 2: in the sexology world, and that takes up a lot 71 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:40,680 Speaker 2: of mental energy. It also makes me think about quality 72 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:44,279 Speaker 2: time with myself and how important that is for me 73 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:48,920 Speaker 2: to be able to be a sassy sexologist who's motivated 74 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:53,480 Speaker 2: enough to continue doing really good work and seeing patients 75 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:56,400 Speaker 2: and helping them. But it's also about, you know, doing 76 00:04:56,440 --> 00:05:00,600 Speaker 2: those bursts of time with friends, with family, with my partner, 77 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:04,440 Speaker 2: and with my dog. So the kind of season I'm 78 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:08,880 Speaker 2: in is really hard working, but also family oriented it 79 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:12,840 Speaker 2: and by family I mean community. I'm also a new 80 00:05:12,839 --> 00:05:15,160 Speaker 2: dog mom, so I feel like I just having to 81 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:18,280 Speaker 2: try and conserve my energy. It's like having a child. Honestly, 82 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:21,200 Speaker 2: I'm waking up three times a night to take him 83 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:21,840 Speaker 2: out to go. 84 00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:22,599 Speaker 3: To the bathroom. 85 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:25,960 Speaker 2: He's teething, he's biting me all the time, and there's 86 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:28,120 Speaker 2: no dog schools open, so I'm trying to wing it 87 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:28,679 Speaker 2: right now. 88 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:32,120 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it's hilarious. You're juggling at. 89 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:36,520 Speaker 2: All, trying my best. Well, can you let. 90 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:40,320 Speaker 1: The listeners know just a quick snapshot of who you are. 91 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:40,839 Speaker 3: Yeah. 92 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:44,920 Speaker 2: So I am a psycho sexologist, and what I mean 93 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:48,520 Speaker 2: by that is I have a background in psychology and 94 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:52,760 Speaker 2: then I went on to do my science medicine degree 95 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:57,120 Speaker 2: and specialize in sexual medicine. I then trained overseas to 96 00:05:57,240 --> 00:06:01,080 Speaker 2: become a sexologist, and I run the large Just Sexology 97 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:05,960 Speaker 2: private practice in Australia and am one of the first 98 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:11,640 Speaker 2: sexologists to work in a hospital here. I have media 99 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:15,640 Speaker 2: obligations and ambassadorships with different companies where I consult in 100 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:19,520 Speaker 2: helping them improve sexual wellness and really change the I 101 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:22,839 Speaker 2: guess the landscape of how we talk about sexuality in Australia. 102 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:28,320 Speaker 2: I'm writing a book and I'm also just a dedicated 103 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:33,279 Speaker 2: friend and partner and normal person essentially. I like fashion, 104 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:37,680 Speaker 2: I like changing my hair, I like listening to podcasts, 105 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:41,680 Speaker 2: and I like watching binge, watching Netflix. So just try 106 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:44,480 Speaker 2: my best to do everything in the best way possible. 107 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:48,640 Speaker 1: I love it. That is so interesting, and so for 108 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:52,320 Speaker 1: the audience who may not know too much what a 109 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:56,640 Speaker 1: psycho sexologist is, can you sort of explain what you 110 00:06:56,880 --> 00:07:00,640 Speaker 1: help patients with and also maybe just what does a 111 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,640 Speaker 1: day look like for you? Obviously it can be so different. 112 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:08,279 Speaker 2: Yes, So I help individual and couples of all genders 113 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:11,600 Speaker 2: with any kind of sexual questions they have, any sexual 114 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:15,000 Speaker 2: concerns they have. So for females, what I see a 115 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:18,320 Speaker 2: lot of is sexual pain. Of course, sex should not 116 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:22,320 Speaker 2: be painful, and there's quite a few conditions that contribute 117 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:26,080 Speaker 2: to that, which I am very good at fixing. I 118 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:30,680 Speaker 2: help people with sexual desire, difficulties, with past traumas, and 119 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:34,840 Speaker 2: with also just having a satisfying sexual life. Also help 120 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 2: you know, some guys with erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, low desire. 121 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:43,000 Speaker 2: And I'm very much a big part of the sexuality 122 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:47,320 Speaker 2: and disability space because I have a partner who is disabled. 123 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:51,720 Speaker 2: We work together to help raise awareness around sexuality and disability. 124 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:57,600 Speaker 2: And I also provide training and supervision for young people 125 00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:01,239 Speaker 2: who have gone through sex ology degrees. Just not young people, 126 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:02,880 Speaker 2: you know, it can be people of all ages. 127 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,120 Speaker 3: But you are really. 128 00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:08,080 Speaker 2: Wanting to be a sexologist. It's hard to start out 129 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:11,000 Speaker 2: your career as a sexologist in Australia because we just 130 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:13,720 Speaker 2: haven't made it part of the establishment yet. And so 131 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:16,320 Speaker 2: I help them work with people's minds, which are the 132 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:20,520 Speaker 2: biggest sexual organ and how they interact with sexuality. 133 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:24,760 Speaker 1: That is so interesting and it is so correct what 134 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:28,360 Speaker 1: you're saying. I feel like, you know, there is almost 135 00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:32,120 Speaker 1: a bit of a stigma in Australia with sex. Do 136 00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:35,040 Speaker 1: you find that Australia is quite different compared to you know, 137 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:36,240 Speaker 1: other parts of the world. 138 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:36,920 Speaker 3: Yeah. 139 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,960 Speaker 2: So I have a Dutch background. My mum told me 140 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:44,120 Speaker 2: to become a sexologist. So we have always talked really 141 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:47,000 Speaker 2: openly about it, obviously not like the nitty gritty, but 142 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:50,000 Speaker 2: how important it is to our overall quality of life, 143 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:55,200 Speaker 2: to our relationships, and how it's also just something that's 144 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,280 Speaker 2: there for fun. You know, we don't have to think 145 00:08:57,320 --> 00:09:00,679 Speaker 2: of sex as being goal oriented. It's not about penetration 146 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:03,679 Speaker 2: and orgasm. It's about a place that you go, not 147 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:06,640 Speaker 2: just something that you do. We want it to be pleasurable, 148 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:10,280 Speaker 2: we want it to be satisfactory, and I recognize that 149 00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:15,000 Speaker 2: in Holland, you know, we learn about sexuality and relationships 150 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,880 Speaker 2: and love and touch and consent from rep you know, 151 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,440 Speaker 2: we start talking about when it's okay to hug someone 152 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:24,160 Speaker 2: and not hug someone, what kind of different relationships there are, 153 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:27,559 Speaker 2: you know, what a community looks like, how family doesn't 154 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:31,679 Speaker 2: necessarily have to be your parents and your siblings, and 155 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:36,520 Speaker 2: also a lot around different forms of sexuality and gender 156 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:39,800 Speaker 2: and how we should accept everyone for who they are 157 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:40,360 Speaker 2: and what they. 158 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:40,760 Speaker 3: Want to be. 159 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:44,960 Speaker 2: So in Australia, I find that the sexual education is 160 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,520 Speaker 2: really limited. I don't know how you learned about sex, 161 00:09:47,559 --> 00:09:49,160 Speaker 2: but I went to a Catholic school and I just 162 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:52,920 Speaker 2: didn't learn about it at all. And I also think 163 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,920 Speaker 2: that we are a multicultural society where everyone has different 164 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:59,440 Speaker 2: views of what sexuality should be, what's appropriate and what's not. 165 00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:03,400 Speaker 2: And I think that we're still quite i don't know, reserved, 166 00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:06,920 Speaker 2: and sex is still very taboo. It's still not really 167 00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:11,080 Speaker 2: taught well in the medical courses here. I think that 168 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,480 Speaker 2: we have a lot of work to do, but I 169 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:16,360 Speaker 2: do see an improvement, especially in the past two years 170 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,120 Speaker 2: in Australia. I do see an improvement. 171 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:22,439 Speaker 1: Yes, I could not agree more. I actually grew up 172 00:10:22,559 --> 00:10:26,679 Speaker 1: a Jehovah's witness and so it was very like sex 173 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,520 Speaker 1: was very taboo and you know, from a young age, 174 00:10:29,679 --> 00:10:33,080 Speaker 1: I believe there was no sex before marriage, and it 175 00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:36,600 Speaker 1: was Yeah, it was just like, I guess different to 176 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:40,120 Speaker 1: how I, you know, see and talk about sex now. 177 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:43,199 Speaker 1: And yeah, I couldn't agree enough. So I'm very excited 178 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:44,920 Speaker 1: to get in this chat with you. So what I 179 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:48,360 Speaker 1: did is I have a private Facebook community page for 180 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:52,000 Speaker 1: this podcast, and I put a little question thing in 181 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:54,360 Speaker 1: there and just said, hey, guys, I'm getting you know, 182 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:57,440 Speaker 1: a psycho sexologist on the show. Do you have any 183 00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:00,240 Speaker 1: questions for hair? And we had so many questions and 184 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:02,600 Speaker 1: so I'm really excited to get into those with you 185 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:06,160 Speaker 1: as so, I guess the most common one that came 186 00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:10,439 Speaker 1: up was about libido and sex drive. And the question 187 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:13,959 Speaker 1: that did come up a lot is what affects libido 188 00:11:14,559 --> 00:11:17,880 Speaker 1: and how can we improve it? Or I've got an 189 00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:21,080 Speaker 1: inverted commas fix it. I know a lot of people 190 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:24,880 Speaker 1: have certain medical conditions like the pill or any depressants 191 00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:28,959 Speaker 1: or a stress can affect too. But if you can 192 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:30,559 Speaker 1: just go into that a bit more. 193 00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:34,959 Speaker 2: Of course, I mean, libido can be affected by anything, 194 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:37,200 Speaker 2: and I think we actually have to talk a little 195 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:43,360 Speaker 2: bit more about desire as well. Desire is owning the 196 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:46,200 Speaker 2: fact that you want something. It's like waking up in 197 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:49,640 Speaker 2: the morning and going, I know that I really want 198 00:11:49,679 --> 00:11:52,839 Speaker 2: an almond melt cappuccina. Obviously that's such adn't tell choice, 199 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,800 Speaker 2: but I get excited about it when I wake up. 200 00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:57,120 Speaker 2: I know that I'm going to order it, and it's 201 00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:58,920 Speaker 2: going to be bougie. It's going to arrive at my 202 00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:03,079 Speaker 2: house via ruber E. It's for a thing, and I'm 203 00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:05,720 Speaker 2: going to get a large one. So I know that 204 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:09,000 Speaker 2: it's coming. I'm excited for it. I'm already in a 205 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:13,760 Speaker 2: essential sensory experience or something that hasn't even been put 206 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:16,439 Speaker 2: in my hands or I haven't even taken a sip 207 00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:19,840 Speaker 2: of yet. That is what desire is. It's owning the 208 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:22,400 Speaker 2: fact that I want to have that experience, that I'm 209 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,920 Speaker 2: excited about that experience, and that I can get into 210 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:29,400 Speaker 2: a sensory experience with something that isn't even there yet. 211 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,320 Speaker 2: That is what desire is about. 212 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:35,840 Speaker 3: And when we lose our desire for life, for sex. 213 00:12:35,679 --> 00:12:39,520 Speaker 2: For anything, then we lose our imagination and that can 214 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:42,120 Speaker 2: be a real crisis in life and I think that 215 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:46,720 Speaker 2: with libido, it is really tough because we have so 216 00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:49,920 Speaker 2: many things that can affect libido, whether it be antidepressants, 217 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:53,359 Speaker 2: whether it be hormones, you know, whether it be life stress. 218 00:12:53,559 --> 00:12:55,559 Speaker 2: And you know, we've got to admit we've got a 219 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:58,320 Speaker 2: lot of stress going on at the moment. There's so 220 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:03,000 Speaker 2: many things that can really affect it. Now, in terms 221 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:06,520 Speaker 2: of a formula to fix it, I can't give you one. 222 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:10,400 Speaker 2: That's what my whole career is based off. It's based 223 00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:13,720 Speaker 2: off me looking at you as an individual and giving 224 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:16,880 Speaker 2: you the tools you need to fix what's going on 225 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:21,439 Speaker 2: in your individual circumstances. So when I'm in session with someone, 226 00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:26,720 Speaker 2: I'm very delicately picking apart what's going on for them 227 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:29,360 Speaker 2: as an individual, whether that be medical so that I 228 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:31,920 Speaker 2: can get them checked out from a medical point of view, 229 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:37,280 Speaker 2: or whether that be psychological or biological or relational. We 230 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:41,840 Speaker 2: need to look at them from a biological, psychological, sociocultural 231 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:45,680 Speaker 2: point of view, and also interpersonal what's going on within 232 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:49,720 Speaker 2: their intimate personal lives so that I can fix their 233 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:52,800 Speaker 2: lack of libido and raise it to a point where 234 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:57,120 Speaker 2: they feel healthy enough to keep going. I also think 235 00:13:57,200 --> 00:14:00,239 Speaker 2: that we have to remember that sex is not spontane 236 00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:02,640 Speaker 2: after a period of time, you know, when we get 237 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:05,920 Speaker 2: into a new sexual relationship, we have these beautiful endorphins 238 00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:08,520 Speaker 2: that rush around our body and that make us feel 239 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:12,840 Speaker 2: really alive, and they last for about eighteen months, and 240 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:15,600 Speaker 2: then we have to actually start making a real effort 241 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:20,960 Speaker 2: and look into responsive desire. That means, mainly for women, 242 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:22,680 Speaker 2: we need to be touched. 243 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:23,840 Speaker 3: We need to. 244 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:29,320 Speaker 2: Be able to get aroused before we start feeling that desire, 245 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:31,440 Speaker 2: and that means that we just need to put a 246 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:34,360 Speaker 2: little bit of body work in before we're able to 247 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:37,560 Speaker 2: jump into the zone and go, yes, I'm accepting, I'm 248 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:41,280 Speaker 2: willing to take this essentially, I think also for a 249 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:44,800 Speaker 2: lot of males as well these days, they need to 250 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:49,040 Speaker 2: be free of performance anxiety as well, which means I 251 00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:50,840 Speaker 2: don't know if I'm going to be able to do 252 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:53,120 Speaker 2: the right thing. I don't know whether I'm going to 253 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:55,680 Speaker 2: my body's going to react in the way that I want, 254 00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:58,880 Speaker 2: and it starts building tension and stress inside the body. 255 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:03,240 Speaker 2: Stress is not equal sex, and it's my job to 256 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:05,720 Speaker 2: be a team with you to help you figure out 257 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:10,760 Speaker 2: how to be able to manage your stress and your sexuality. 258 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:14,400 Speaker 2: And move forward in the healthiest way. Emily Nagowski, who's 259 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:18,200 Speaker 2: another sexologist, has a really great book called Come as 260 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,600 Speaker 2: You Are, and in that book she talks about how 261 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:22,960 Speaker 2: we need to view our body almost like it is 262 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:27,240 Speaker 2: a car. You have accelerators towards sexuality. That means that 263 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:29,880 Speaker 2: you're putting your foot on the gas pedal and moving forward. 264 00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:34,040 Speaker 2: And you have breaks on your sexuality, and that means 265 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:38,760 Speaker 2: anything that could potentially impair your feeling of wanting. 266 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:39,240 Speaker 3: To have sex. 267 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:43,280 Speaker 2: Both the gas and the break are on a low 268 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:46,080 Speaker 2: level all the time. And what we need to do 269 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:50,760 Speaker 2: is turn off a lot of those well, turn off 270 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:54,720 Speaker 2: the turnoffs essentially, so that your foot is able to 271 00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:57,280 Speaker 2: be on the accelerator a little bit more and you're 272 00:15:57,320 --> 00:16:01,800 Speaker 2: able to move forward rather than stagnant or move backwards. 273 00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,680 Speaker 1: Right, yes, one hundred people. 274 00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:05,120 Speaker 3: Yeah. 275 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:08,920 Speaker 2: So some accelerators could be, you know, feeling good within yourself, 276 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:12,200 Speaker 2: having a healthy diet, you know, really enjoying your work, 277 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:15,560 Speaker 2: really enjoying your partner, you know, feeling sexy and strong 278 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:19,440 Speaker 2: in your body. Some breaks could be feeling lethargic, having 279 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:23,480 Speaker 2: a lot of stress on grief, you know, not enjoying 280 00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:27,400 Speaker 2: your relationship, not enjoying yourself, and what we want to 281 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:31,920 Speaker 2: do is reduce the amount of those breaks and really 282 00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:35,640 Speaker 2: pick up and highlight those accelerators. 283 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:39,800 Speaker 1: Yes, so would you recommend people almost being a bit 284 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:43,160 Speaker 1: more in tune about you know, what turns them off 285 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:46,600 Speaker 1: and what turns them off? And also, I guess I 286 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:50,400 Speaker 1: wanted to ask, is it quite normal for people to have, 287 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:52,680 Speaker 1: you know, a low libido, because that's kind of the 288 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:56,080 Speaker 1: common thread in the group I saw of women asking, 289 00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:57,800 Speaker 1: you know, is it normal that I don't want to 290 00:16:57,840 --> 00:16:58,680 Speaker 1: have sex all the time? 291 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:02,920 Speaker 2: I think, I think it's normal for libido to fluctuate, 292 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,919 Speaker 2: but it is something that we have to actively work on. 293 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:10,600 Speaker 2: So it depends on the stage of that person. It 294 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,480 Speaker 2: depends on what's going on in their lives. If anyone 295 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,840 Speaker 2: is really worried about it, then book a consultation, let 296 00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:18,639 Speaker 2: me help you out. You don't need to figure that 297 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:21,640 Speaker 2: out by yourself. At the end of the day, it's 298 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:26,639 Speaker 2: normal for me for you to have fluctuations in our sexuality, 299 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:28,280 Speaker 2: in our desire, and. 300 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,200 Speaker 3: Also to have sexual problems. 301 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:33,520 Speaker 2: At some point, everyone will or their partner will, And 302 00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:35,720 Speaker 2: when we have a partner with sexual problems, it becomes 303 00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:37,760 Speaker 2: our sexual problem. 304 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:41,480 Speaker 1: I guess that's also super comforting to know that it's 305 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,280 Speaker 1: not that, Like you said, like, it's completely normal, everyone 306 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:49,440 Speaker 1: goes through it. This episode is brought to you by 307 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:52,960 Speaker 1: my very own Find Your Filter precess. If you're an 308 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:56,440 Speaker 1: aspiring content creator, or you've just started a new business, 309 00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:58,560 Speaker 1: or if you just want your feed to look cute, 310 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:02,560 Speaker 1: then prepare yourself. My Fine Your Filter Presets are a 311 00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:06,680 Speaker 1: collection of six signature presets that will help you propel 312 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:10,439 Speaker 1: your Instagram feed to the next level with minimal effort 313 00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:14,359 Speaker 1: required on your part. 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It 323 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:49,480 Speaker 1: might be subtle, but believe it or not, it actually 324 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:52,919 Speaker 1: took me years to achieve this. Creating the perfect picture 325 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,800 Speaker 1: content should be easy, right, which is why I decided 326 00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:58,280 Speaker 1: to share my filters with you. If this sounds like 327 00:18:58,359 --> 00:19:01,840 Speaker 1: something you need, the pre set on my website, which 328 00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:05,199 Speaker 1: is Georgie Stevenson dot net, and I'll make sure I 329 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:07,800 Speaker 1: put a link in the show notes. Okay, let's get 330 00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:17,000 Speaker 1: straight back into the episode. And something else that I 331 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:20,040 Speaker 1: wanted to ask. So a lot of people ask, how 332 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:23,359 Speaker 1: can I match my libido with my partners? 333 00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:28,320 Speaker 4: Well, I think that's a really interesting one. People have 334 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:35,520 Speaker 4: really high expectations. Look, you know, if I had a 335 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:37,800 Speaker 4: magic wand and I could waive it, you need to 336 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:40,600 Speaker 4: think about what you want me to fix. I pick 337 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,040 Speaker 4: off one thing at a time and I work through 338 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,720 Speaker 4: it and it's not as scary as you think. What 339 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:49,160 Speaker 4: we need to do is just recognize that libido's vary. 340 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,080 Speaker 4: So there might be a time where your libido is 341 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:52,960 Speaker 4: lower than your partners, or there might be a time 342 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,560 Speaker 4: where your libido is higher than your partners. It's the 343 00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:59,320 Speaker 4: natural course of life. You have fluctuations, So no, I 344 00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:01,720 Speaker 4: can't get you the same as your partners. There will 345 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:04,480 Speaker 4: always be someone in the relationship that has a lower libido, 346 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:06,800 Speaker 4: and there will always be someone that has a higher 347 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:10,040 Speaker 4: libido and it's about coming into a compromise. But I 348 00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:13,560 Speaker 4: would recommend that for anyone who's wondering what they do 349 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:17,040 Speaker 4: about it, we need to start working on your sexual 350 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:21,200 Speaker 4: communication and probably your sexual self esteems. I have an 351 00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:23,680 Speaker 4: online course that I have a lot of people do, 352 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:27,040 Speaker 4: which means that you don't have to sit in a 353 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:29,879 Speaker 4: session with me, but you are able to do this 354 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,520 Speaker 4: course in your own time to really figure out what's 355 00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:36,120 Speaker 4: going on within your sexuality and how you feel about it, 356 00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,880 Speaker 4: and hopefully that will boost. 357 00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:40,800 Speaker 3: The way that you feel about your sexual self esteem. 358 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,119 Speaker 2: So there you're able to come forward and have really 359 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:47,160 Speaker 2: open and honest chats with your sexual partner about what 360 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:49,560 Speaker 2: your expectations are and what you would really like for 361 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:53,560 Speaker 2: them to do to you, and vice versa. The foundation 362 00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:57,439 Speaker 2: of any relationship and any sexual relationship is communication. 363 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:01,600 Speaker 1: On that note, can you touch on why sexual communication 364 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:02,720 Speaker 1: is so important? 365 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:07,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, if you can't communicate about your sexual 366 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:10,959 Speaker 2: wants and needs and you know, also be honest with yourself, 367 00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:14,160 Speaker 2: then it's very hard to do that with anybody else. 368 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,720 Speaker 2: It's also very hard to give consent. It's very hard 369 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:19,520 Speaker 2: to say what your expectations in your STANDSDS are in 370 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:22,600 Speaker 2: the bedroom. It's also very hard to problem solve if 371 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:25,159 Speaker 2: you're not able to communicate about it. And you know, 372 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:27,520 Speaker 2: life is always going to throw these challenges at us. 373 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:31,000 Speaker 2: We're always going to have, you know, really good times, 374 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,640 Speaker 2: We're also going to have some challenging times, and that's 375 00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:36,000 Speaker 2: when it's super important to be able to communicate how 376 00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,800 Speaker 2: you're going and how you want. 377 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:41,520 Speaker 3: To proceed or what you want done. 378 00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:45,000 Speaker 2: Differently, I think at the end of the day, you 379 00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:48,960 Speaker 2: are not designed to have the same type of sex 380 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:51,879 Speaker 2: life from the first time you have sex to the 381 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,520 Speaker 2: last time you have sex. You have to develop and 382 00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:59,800 Speaker 2: grow and expand your sexual repertoire because otherwise it's just 383 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:03,080 Speaker 2: like eating the same meal every day. It's like eating 384 00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:05,000 Speaker 2: spaghetti bolonnaise every night for dinner. 385 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:09,480 Speaker 3: You get sick of it. And we need to have. 386 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:13,000 Speaker 2: Different cuisines, different spices, different types of menus for you 387 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:18,320 Speaker 2: to feel excited and erotic and I guess invigorated by 388 00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:19,439 Speaker 2: a sexual experience. 389 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:23,119 Speaker 1: That's so interesting. And as you were saying that, I 390 00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:26,000 Speaker 1: was thinking that, like, I have been with my partner 391 00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:30,200 Speaker 1: since I was seventeen, so and I'm now twenty six. 392 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:32,480 Speaker 1: So we have been together for a very long time, 393 00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:36,479 Speaker 1: and that is so true. Like during our relationship, it 394 00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:40,359 Speaker 1: will sort of, you know, come in waves where either 395 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:44,359 Speaker 1: it's different frequencies or even you know, we're into something, 396 00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:47,439 Speaker 1: like you know different, and then it changes, like we 397 00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:50,680 Speaker 1: will have conversations we're like, oh, remember that, you remember 398 00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:53,680 Speaker 1: that stage where you know we're really really into this 399 00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:58,520 Speaker 1: and whatnot. And I think that's beautiful what you said about. Yeah, 400 00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:02,520 Speaker 1: like it changing and evolving, and it's okay for that 401 00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:03,080 Speaker 1: to happen. 402 00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:05,280 Speaker 3: Absolutely well, it's normal. 403 00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:09,439 Speaker 1: So I want to switch gears and let's check orgasms. 404 00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:10,280 Speaker 3: Let's do it. 405 00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:15,640 Speaker 1: One listener asked, how can I achieve an orgasm through penetration? 406 00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:19,240 Speaker 1: I feel so defeated when this doesn't happen. 407 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:24,080 Speaker 2: So seventy percent of women cannot orgasm through penetration. So 408 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:28,760 Speaker 2: I don't know about this person, but I think it 409 00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:33,520 Speaker 2: sounds like she might be aiming a little bit out 410 00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:36,760 Speaker 2: of out of kind of her scope. 411 00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:37,280 Speaker 4: You know. 412 00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:40,000 Speaker 2: I think it's completely normal for women to not be 413 00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:44,480 Speaker 2: able to orgasm through penetration, and that's because what we 414 00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:48,720 Speaker 2: need is to have clitteral stimulation in order to orgasm. 415 00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:52,679 Speaker 2: The clitteris is full of eight thousand nerve endings externally 416 00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:56,280 Speaker 2: which are design purely for pleasure. For women who can 417 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:59,359 Speaker 2: orgasm through penetration, usually it's with them on top on 418 00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:02,280 Speaker 2: a forty five degree angle and they're rubbing up and 419 00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:04,879 Speaker 2: down and the penis that they're on top of, or 420 00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:08,879 Speaker 2: the vibrator or the dildo is rubbing against the internal 421 00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:15,280 Speaker 2: literal nerves inside of vagina, and that takes a lot 422 00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:18,439 Speaker 2: of work. I encourage this person, if she wants to 423 00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:20,959 Speaker 2: give it a try, if she is having sex with 424 00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:23,560 Speaker 2: someone with a penis, to sit on top of them, 425 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:27,359 Speaker 2: face them, and lean down towards them and move up 426 00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:30,800 Speaker 2: and down very steadily, but actually get into her breathing. 427 00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:34,320 Speaker 2: So I want her to start breathing through her nose 428 00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:37,199 Speaker 2: and then you're gonna laugh at me, but feel like 429 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:41,320 Speaker 2: she's breathing that air out through her vulva, out through 430 00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:44,480 Speaker 2: her vagina, because we want to bring her awareness to 431 00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:49,080 Speaker 2: the sensation that is happening down in that area. If 432 00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:51,520 Speaker 2: she keeps doing that at a steady pace, and maybe 433 00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:53,639 Speaker 2: she can have some music going so she's able to 434 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:58,520 Speaker 2: keep in time with the tempo, then maybe after a 435 00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:02,240 Speaker 2: period of time she will begin to feel an orgasmic 436 00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:06,280 Speaker 2: experience building. It does take a lot of practice, and 437 00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:08,280 Speaker 2: it also isn't feasible for some. 438 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:10,480 Speaker 3: People, So please don't put pressure on yourself. 439 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:12,880 Speaker 2: If you can't get there, then you know what, you've 440 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:15,760 Speaker 2: got two fingers, or you might have a clitteral vibrator 441 00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:18,160 Speaker 2: that you can just hold on top of your glitterist 442 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,919 Speaker 2: and use that to feel the pleasure as well. But 443 00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:23,720 Speaker 2: you know what, I think we learn a lot about 444 00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:26,919 Speaker 2: sexuality from porn, which is not meant to be educational. 445 00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:29,680 Speaker 2: It's meant to be entertaining, and porn shows us all 446 00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:33,080 Speaker 2: these women having orgasms to penetration, which is just isn't 447 00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:33,520 Speaker 2: the case. 448 00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:39,880 Speaker 1: I'm laughing. That's so true, isn't it. Yeah, well, thank 449 00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:43,560 Speaker 1: you so much for shedding light on that, and that's satistic. 450 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:45,199 Speaker 1: Definitely surprises me. 451 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:48,720 Speaker 3: Actually, I think, you know, it's super common. 452 00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:51,359 Speaker 2: There's also about, you know, fifteen percent of women who 453 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:53,840 Speaker 2: can't orgasm at all. I have a lot of people 454 00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:56,960 Speaker 2: coming in and saying I can't orgasm, and then I go, well, 455 00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:58,800 Speaker 2: what about if you're a self pleasuring and they go, oh, 456 00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:01,879 Speaker 2: I can orgasm them not with a partner, And that 457 00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:03,960 Speaker 2: just shows me that they need a bit of help 458 00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:06,960 Speaker 2: in navigating how to do it with a partner. They 459 00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:11,119 Speaker 2: probably need a really good clitteral vibrator as well, that 460 00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:13,680 Speaker 2: we'll be able to bring different types of sensations and 461 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:17,960 Speaker 2: fingers and mouths and hands and penises cannot do. We 462 00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:20,800 Speaker 2: just need a little bit of extra help sometimes and 463 00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:24,959 Speaker 2: probably a lot more work around body awareness and sensation awareness. 464 00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:27,800 Speaker 2: So that's something that I can definitely help with. And 465 00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:30,280 Speaker 2: if you are struggling, then just book a session and 466 00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:32,840 Speaker 2: I would be happy to get you on the right track. 467 00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:37,480 Speaker 1: Amazing. So another listener asks, is it super important to 468 00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:42,080 Speaker 1: always orgasm and how can she improve her chances of 469 00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:43,120 Speaker 1: having an orgasm? 470 00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:47,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, so no, it's not important to always orgasm. It's 471 00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:50,320 Speaker 2: important to always have a good time in the bedroom. 472 00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,720 Speaker 2: If you're not having fun, then there's no point being 473 00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:55,920 Speaker 2: in there. You know, sex is meant to be about 474 00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:59,160 Speaker 2: pleasure and fun, and whilst we do it to conceive, 475 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:01,840 Speaker 2: most of the time we're doing it just to be 476 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:03,960 Speaker 2: able to connect with our partner. So I want you 477 00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:07,320 Speaker 2: to think about what sexuality actually means to you. So 478 00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:10,639 Speaker 2: what words, images, and associations come to mind when you 479 00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:13,600 Speaker 2: think about sex? And what does that actually mean to you. 480 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:17,800 Speaker 2: Some people have really good images associations, some people don't 481 00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:22,919 Speaker 2: have some great images and associations, and for you trying 482 00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,520 Speaker 2: to achieve an orgasm, it's just putting a huge amount 483 00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:28,680 Speaker 2: of pressure on yourself. I think that if you can 484 00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:31,200 Speaker 2: take some times to self pleasure and figure out where 485 00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,919 Speaker 2: your sweet spots are and where you like to be 486 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,680 Speaker 2: touched and what's going to bring you that climatic experience 487 00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:40,520 Speaker 2: and great I think a good clutural vibrator like a 488 00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:44,040 Speaker 2: womanizer would be a wonderful idea for you. But I 489 00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:47,720 Speaker 2: also think sex isn't about penetration and orgasm. It's about 490 00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:50,920 Speaker 2: having fun. So take the pressure of yourself and learn 491 00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:54,480 Speaker 2: to drop into that experience and notice what senses you 492 00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:58,640 Speaker 2: are using. Maybe it's site, maybe its smell, touch, taste, 493 00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:02,080 Speaker 2: you know, audio. And I think that when you are 494 00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:04,199 Speaker 2: able to pick up on what your favorite one is 495 00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:05,960 Speaker 2: and what is the one that brings you the most 496 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:08,480 Speaker 2: kind of erotic stimulation, then you will be able to 497 00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:11,720 Speaker 2: achieve much more of a beneficial experience. 498 00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:16,919 Speaker 1: And talking about self pleasure and toys, another question that 499 00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:21,480 Speaker 1: got asked a lot is the listener wants to introduce 500 00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:24,560 Speaker 1: toys with their partner to spice things up, but they 501 00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:29,719 Speaker 1: almost are finding difficulty in communicating this. What would your 502 00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:30,879 Speaker 1: advice be to that person. 503 00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:33,560 Speaker 2: I think we need to think about why is it 504 00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:37,880 Speaker 2: difficult for you to have a conversation about something that's 505 00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:41,200 Speaker 2: not there to replace another human being, but meant to 506 00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:45,200 Speaker 2: be a extension of your sexual self. Toys just bring 507 00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:48,080 Speaker 2: in a different type of experience, They bring in different 508 00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:51,520 Speaker 2: amounts of fun, and there are toys for all genders, 509 00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:54,360 Speaker 2: you know. I think if you're having trouble with your partner, 510 00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:55,960 Speaker 2: you just need to have a sit down with them 511 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:56,880 Speaker 2: and say you know what. 512 00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,400 Speaker 3: Or write them a letter. If it's difficult to communicate with. 513 00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:02,160 Speaker 2: Them in person, just write them a little letter and 514 00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:03,720 Speaker 2: say I want you to respond to it. 515 00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:05,000 Speaker 3: Just say you know what. 516 00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:09,200 Speaker 2: This is for us to really have an expansive sexual life, 517 00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:11,120 Speaker 2: and we need to have that if we're going to 518 00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:14,280 Speaker 2: maintain an erotic future, because we can't do the same 519 00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:16,600 Speaker 2: thing every single time. We need to change up our 520 00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:19,840 Speaker 2: sexual script and sex toys are just a really fun 521 00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:24,280 Speaker 2: way of adding different types of experiences and being able 522 00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:28,520 Speaker 2: to delve into an erotic zone. I also think your 523 00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:31,840 Speaker 2: pleasure is your right. So you are welcome to buy 524 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:35,480 Speaker 2: yourself sex toys. If your partner doesn't want to participate 525 00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:37,360 Speaker 2: in that, then that's for your self pleasure time. 526 00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:43,880 Speaker 1: That's so interesting to what you were saying about. You know, 527 00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:48,080 Speaker 1: the goal is to have this erotic experience and that 528 00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:50,560 Speaker 1: is going to you know, be different, and we do 529 00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:53,760 Speaker 1: have to spice things up. And like you were saying 530 00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:58,160 Speaker 1: about eating spaghetti for every single meal of for the 531 00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:00,400 Speaker 1: rest of your life, it's just you know, no one's 532 00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:02,440 Speaker 1: going to do that. So when you kind of look 533 00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:05,520 Speaker 1: at it that way, and yeah, having that conversation at 534 00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:09,520 Speaker 1: your partner, it should definitely be something we're doing. Okay, 535 00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:12,240 Speaker 1: So I want to switch gears again. And you did 536 00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:16,080 Speaker 1: touch on right at the start about pain during sex. 537 00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:19,720 Speaker 1: So you have a couple of listeners who have had 538 00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:23,280 Speaker 1: some trouble with the vagin vaginismus. 539 00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:25,640 Speaker 2: It sounds like Christmas for the vagina. 540 00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:27,480 Speaker 3: But it's the opposite. It's like Halloween. 541 00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:34,000 Speaker 1: Can you explain vaginius Smiths for the listeners who aren't 542 00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:37,080 Speaker 1: sure what this is and how it is treated and 543 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:40,960 Speaker 1: how someone can cope with this a situation. 544 00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:45,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, so. Vaginismus is a condition of the pelvic 545 00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:51,320 Speaker 2: floor and of the mind. So it's basically, when your 546 00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:55,320 Speaker 2: pelvic floor is tensing up, it's doing an automatic reaction 547 00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:59,240 Speaker 2: when a tampon, a finger, a paps mir or penis, 548 00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:02,200 Speaker 2: or a dilator is coming close to it, and it 549 00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:05,920 Speaker 2: is tensing so tight that when you put anything inside it, 550 00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:10,080 Speaker 2: if you can, it's like burning, stinging razor blade like 551 00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:13,560 Speaker 2: sensations inside the vagina, or it's like hitting a brick wall. 552 00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:15,080 Speaker 3: It's impossible to penetrate. 553 00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:17,920 Speaker 2: So a nice analogy that I like to use is 554 00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:20,640 Speaker 2: when I look at you and I come close to you, 555 00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:22,760 Speaker 2: and I have a pen in my hand and I 556 00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:24,840 Speaker 2: throw it at your eye, your eye is going to 557 00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:28,640 Speaker 2: blink to protect your eyeball because it is anticipating pain. 558 00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:32,120 Speaker 2: And if I every time I came around you, I 559 00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:34,800 Speaker 2: started throwing this pain at your eye, your eye would 560 00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:39,120 Speaker 2: just actually start tensing up and closing your eye lid 561 00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:41,760 Speaker 2: every time I came around you, or I stay closed 562 00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:46,479 Speaker 2: on an ongoing basis to minimize risk of pain. It's 563 00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:50,640 Speaker 2: the same thing that's happening inside the vagina. And what 564 00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:55,600 Speaker 2: I mean, one in five women will have vaginismus at 565 00:31:55,600 --> 00:31:58,200 Speaker 2: some point in their life. I've also had it at 566 00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:02,000 Speaker 2: a point and it was very much psychological for me, 567 00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:04,960 Speaker 2: and most of the time it's psychological for a lot 568 00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:08,120 Speaker 2: of other women that have it. So what we do 569 00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:12,800 Speaker 2: is you have to have an appointment for that. So 570 00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:15,760 Speaker 2: come book a session with myself or one of my team, 571 00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:18,800 Speaker 2: and we work with myself on the brain and then 572 00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:21,640 Speaker 2: my pelvic floor physiotherapist who works right next to me 573 00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:23,960 Speaker 2: in the next room, on what's going on in the 574 00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:27,400 Speaker 2: body and how to relax the pelvic floor, because we 575 00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:29,840 Speaker 2: want to be able to drop it. It's like when 576 00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:32,280 Speaker 2: our body goes into fight, flight or freeze, it's our 577 00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:35,040 Speaker 2: shoulders and our pelvic floors it tense up, and I 578 00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:37,560 Speaker 2: notice and a lot of veginismus patients they have very 579 00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:39,720 Speaker 2: tense shoulders as well. It's almost like I can pick 580 00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:42,400 Speaker 2: it when they walk through the door. So you will 581 00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:44,720 Speaker 2: know if you have vaginismus, if it is difficult to 582 00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:47,280 Speaker 2: put in a tampon, or if when you're with a 583 00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:53,200 Speaker 2: sexual partner it's it's really uncomfortable or extremely painful having penetration. 584 00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:56,720 Speaker 2: First thing you need to do is stop having any penetration, 585 00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:59,840 Speaker 2: because you're just going to reinforce that pain, and you 586 00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:04,880 Speaker 2: going to keep blinking your vagina like blinking your eyelid. 587 00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:07,239 Speaker 2: We don't want your vagina to be tense up all 588 00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:09,480 Speaker 2: the time. You need to go through a session. There 589 00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:12,360 Speaker 2: is no miracle fix, but it's actually not that difficult 590 00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:15,160 Speaker 2: to treat. We just need to minimize the amount of 591 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:19,040 Speaker 2: stress in your life and also maintain. 592 00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:21,600 Speaker 3: A healthy pelvic floor balance. 593 00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:25,440 Speaker 2: Another thing that can come with vaginal pain is or 594 00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:28,200 Speaker 2: volver pain actually is when you touch around your vulva, 595 00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:31,280 Speaker 2: which is the skin between your legs and the opening 596 00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:34,400 Speaker 2: of your vagina. Some women will have pain and burning 597 00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:38,600 Speaker 2: or irritation there. That is a condition called volver dinium 598 00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:42,720 Speaker 2: and that often goes hand in hand with vaginousness as well. 599 00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:44,840 Speaker 2: And again it's a condition of the public floor, so 600 00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:45,960 Speaker 2: we just need to book. 601 00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:46,360 Speaker 3: In a session. 602 00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:49,320 Speaker 2: A lot of women who've got endometriosis will have a 603 00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:51,920 Speaker 2: sexual pain, whether it be deep in the pelpose or 604 00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:55,480 Speaker 2: upon entry or both. And then you know a lot 605 00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:58,719 Speaker 2: of time, so people going through stressful periods or who 606 00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:01,800 Speaker 2: aren't lubricated enough or just not that into the sexual 607 00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:06,040 Speaker 2: experience they're having, they can have difficulty. Vaginismus has lots 608 00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:08,520 Speaker 2: of causes or no cause at all. It can just 609 00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:12,320 Speaker 2: come on at some point and it is very easily fixed. 610 00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:14,680 Speaker 2: So just book in a session and we'll be able 611 00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:15,800 Speaker 2: to get you on the right track. 612 00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:18,879 Speaker 1: Thank you for shedding light on that. And to finish 613 00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:21,680 Speaker 1: the podcast, something I did want to chat to about 614 00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:26,160 Speaker 1: is confidence in the bedroom. So I did notice a 615 00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:30,200 Speaker 1: huge thread on this question in the Facebook group and 616 00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:34,160 Speaker 1: a lot of women were expressing that they wanted to 617 00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:37,239 Speaker 1: improve their body confidence to get rid of nerves in 618 00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:40,480 Speaker 1: the bedroom. Do you have any like tips or resources 619 00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:41,360 Speaker 1: that could help with this. 620 00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:44,720 Speaker 2: Yes, I would definitely recommend that they do my sexual 621 00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:49,280 Speaker 2: self esteem course because it is just designed to help 622 00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:52,319 Speaker 2: with this specific concern. It also means that you know 623 00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:55,400 Speaker 2: you're able to do work in your own time and 624 00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:59,440 Speaker 2: affordably from home, which is great, especially if you're going 625 00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:02,160 Speaker 2: through a bit of a stage where you might have 626 00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:05,360 Speaker 2: a little bit of extra time, or maybe you're looking 627 00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:08,560 Speaker 2: to improve some areas of your life. So I definitely 628 00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:11,560 Speaker 2: recommend doing that. Because body self. 629 00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:15,080 Speaker 3: Esteem, sexual self esteem is actually perceptual. It's not physical. 630 00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:18,720 Speaker 2: You can be any size, you can be any state 631 00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:21,719 Speaker 2: of your stage of your life. It's just how you 632 00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:24,719 Speaker 2: perceive your body to be and how you perceive your 633 00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:28,440 Speaker 2: sexual self esteem to be at that time. That can 634 00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:31,360 Speaker 2: be problematic. So it's my job to really kind of 635 00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:33,640 Speaker 2: undo a lot of the lessons that you've learned over 636 00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:36,040 Speaker 2: the years about how you should feel, how you should look, 637 00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:38,880 Speaker 2: and how you should behave towards your body and in 638 00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:41,680 Speaker 2: the bedroom, and really make it your own. You know, 639 00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:45,760 Speaker 2: come into yourself with confidence, with energy, and be able 640 00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:49,840 Speaker 2: to have the tools and support to invigorate yourself to 641 00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:54,239 Speaker 2: I guess, keep moving forward and developing and growing, So 642 00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:56,880 Speaker 2: don't be a stranger. You can find that on my 643 00:35:56,960 --> 00:36:01,960 Speaker 2: website and honestly sometimes do my own courses because I 644 00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:05,840 Speaker 2: forget what I write about and I'm surprised. I'm surprised 645 00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:08,840 Speaker 2: by what I say. But it is really beneficial and 646 00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:10,919 Speaker 2: we've seen a lot of really great success from that. 647 00:36:11,719 --> 00:36:13,319 Speaker 1: And I will make sure I put that in the 648 00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:17,920 Speaker 1: show notes. Guys, thank you so much, Chantelle. One question 649 00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:20,200 Speaker 1: to finish off the episode, and this is something that 650 00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:23,800 Speaker 1: I ask all my guests, is what is your biggest 651 00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:28,880 Speaker 1: source of motivation or inspiration that you know inspires you 652 00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:30,440 Speaker 1: to keep doing what you're doing. 653 00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:38,120 Speaker 2: Oh my god, I think seeing the landscape change you know, 654 00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:40,360 Speaker 2: when people write to me and say you've helped me 655 00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:43,919 Speaker 2: so much with my confidence, that's such a beautiful thing 656 00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:46,960 Speaker 2: on my social media. You know, when I can change 657 00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:49,879 Speaker 2: the way that we look at ourselves and look at 658 00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:52,920 Speaker 2: the way that we've been brought up and how we 659 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:55,960 Speaker 2: want to teach our children, that's really something special for me. 660 00:36:56,560 --> 00:36:59,319 Speaker 2: My partner always vates me as well, because he's a 661 00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:03,120 Speaker 2: really motive person, an excellent person, and he's changing the 662 00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:06,520 Speaker 2: world in his own right. And then also my family, 663 00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:10,960 Speaker 2: my girlfriends, you know, they're all really motivational for me. 664 00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:12,720 Speaker 3: So there isn't really one source. 665 00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:16,640 Speaker 2: It's just the fact that I have really worked hard 666 00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:20,120 Speaker 2: to develop an amazing group of people around me that 667 00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:23,080 Speaker 2: you know, sometimes believe in me more than I believe 668 00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:28,800 Speaker 2: in myself, and are really encouraging and lovely and loving 669 00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:31,800 Speaker 2: towards me. And that's what I do. I do everything 670 00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:35,440 Speaker 2: from a place of love so that other people are 671 00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:37,960 Speaker 2: able to feel that when I come to them for 672 00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:42,000 Speaker 2: you know, giving them help and advice and guidance as well. 673 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:44,279 Speaker 2: They need to know that I'm nourished enough to be 674 00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:45,319 Speaker 2: able to nourish them. 675 00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:50,360 Speaker 1: That is beautiful. Well, thank you so much for coming 676 00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:52,960 Speaker 1: on the show, and can you let the audience know 677 00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:55,520 Speaker 1: where they can find you, where they can get all 678 00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:58,839 Speaker 1: the resources you're chatting about and I will put those 679 00:37:58,880 --> 00:37:59,680 Speaker 1: links in the show. 680 00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:01,040 Speaker 3: Notes for me. Yeah. Absolutely so. 681 00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:04,000 Speaker 2: If you want to follow me on Instagram, it's at 682 00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:11,360 Speaker 2: chantel CJA and tewl e, underscore otten Ott and Underscore Sexologist. 683 00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:13,920 Speaker 2: And if you want to look at my website, it's 684 00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:18,400 Speaker 2: just www dot Chantelott dot com. Please, you know, shoot 685 00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:21,439 Speaker 2: me a message, Please come in if you're wondering how 686 00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:24,520 Speaker 2: to improve on your sexual life, because I'm here to 687 00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:26,800 Speaker 2: help you and it is absolutely my pleasure. 688 00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:34,160 Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Chanta. Thanks and that's a wrap 689 00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:37,279 Speaker 1: on another episode of the Rise and Concer Podcast. I 690 00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:39,520 Speaker 1: hope you got something valuable from it, and I want 691 00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:42,120 Speaker 1: to say a big thank you for tuning in. I 692 00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:45,279 Speaker 1: really really do appreciate it. If you're craving more than 693 00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:48,399 Speaker 1: don't worry. I've got you sorted. We have our very 694 00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:52,239 Speaker 1: own Rise and Conquer Community Facebook group where hundreds of 695 00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:56,920 Speaker 1: like minded women joined to share in on stories, ask advice, 696 00:38:57,120 --> 00:39:00,240 Speaker 1: and everything in between. I'd love for you to join us. 697 00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:04,080 Speaker 1: Just search Rise and Conquer Podcast Community or find the 698 00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:06,960 Speaker 1: link in the show notes and if you loved listening 699 00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:09,920 Speaker 1: as much as I loved recording this episode, then please 700 00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:13,560 Speaker 1: subscribe and leave a review. It really helps us out 701 00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:16,880 Speaker 1: and if you think of anyone who would benefit or 702 00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:20,399 Speaker 1: enjoy this episode, please share it with them. You can 703 00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:25,120 Speaker 1: also find more on Instagram at risinconcor dot podcast and 704 00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:29,320 Speaker 1: more from me your hosts at Georgie Stevenson. Once again, guys, 705 00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:31,400 Speaker 1: thank you so much for tuning in. This is a 706 00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:35,839 Speaker 1: totally independent podcast, so we really do appreciate every bit 707 00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:38,520 Speaker 1: of support. Hope you guys have an amazing day or 708 00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:41,040 Speaker 1: night whenever you're listening, and I'll talk to you soon. 709 00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:18,120 Speaker 2: Assasssssssss