Speaker 1: The Flex and Rooms Daily Podcasts, Hay Rooms, we're.
Speaker 2: On the podcast. Do you reckon? That's nice when you
Speaker 2: just have a chill kind of vibe?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do.
Speaker 2: I wonder what it's like as a listener.
Speaker 1: I think it's always easy to listen to a chill
Speaker 1: vibe over a like.
Speaker 2: Because I don't know about you, but I would if
Speaker 2: someone's going right, my brain goes like in a good way.
Speaker 2: Following up, No, not necessarily.
Speaker 3: I think of my favorite podcast, How Long Gone, And
Speaker 3: it's just two guys chatting m and they never do
Speaker 3: too much. They just have a lot of opinions, always
Speaker 3: something to say. But you know, I find some podcasters
Speaker 3: and no shade, they overcompensate their lack of interesting thoughts
Speaker 3: who are just speaking really animatedly, loudly or like aggressively.
Speaker 2: Yes, certainly not myself.
Speaker 1: Do you do you speak animatedly, loudly or aggressively?
Speaker 2: I don't feel like that's You're not the judge, you're
Speaker 2: too close to the source. Oh okay, Well, but we
Speaker 2: do need to think about self perceptions because today's episode
Speaker 2: is mainly about housemates. What you need to ask a
Speaker 2: housemate before you move in with them, personally, I'm a
Speaker 2: bit of a renegade master this next house, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: be going in chill vibes and say in our vibes
Speaker 2: because I will be leaving soon anyway. If that doesn't
Speaker 2: make sense, listen and it will. It's such a pleasure
Speaker 2: do in this podcast. You know, I listen to it back.
Speaker 2: Do you listen to it back?
Speaker 1: I do? Are you why to just hear how it sounds?
Speaker 3: You know, it's I think it's similar to watching your
Speaker 3: Instagram story back from the perspective of.
Speaker 1: Someone who hasn't posted it. You're like, this is entertaining. Hmmm,
Speaker 1: I'll do it back with the podcast.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm always looking at my story.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: It's the equivalent of smelling your hearts.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Anyway, enough chatter, let's go. And I love being medium sized.
Speaker 2: I'm a medium sized woman. My heart is one sixty.
Speaker 2: That's medium sized.
Speaker 1: It's average.
Speaker 2: Yeah medium yi yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: To averages, medium is average medium or maybe not, maybe not,
Speaker 2: because medium doesn't have to be average.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Medium just in the middle of the smallest and
Speaker 1: the biggest. Yeah.
Speaker 2: If we're talking hot, that's probably yeah, we're talking hit
Speaker 2: above average of medium for women.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I'm above average and something that sometimes you
Speaker 2: want to be is a little And So I was
Speaker 2: on Reddit and this woman was asking questions on how
Speaker 2: to act small and cute. I'm going to read out
Speaker 2: her question and we're going to try and give her
Speaker 2: some tips. The title is how to act soft, slash
Speaker 2: cute as a tall woman.
Speaker 1: With a deep voice.
Speaker 2: So already it's hitting some of our demographics, say baritone,
Speaker 2: Yeah no, I don't think. I don't think we necessarily
Speaker 2: have shrill voices, which I think is often associated with
Speaker 2: higher voices.
Speaker 1: We can go deep. I don't think they are deep.
Speaker 2: I'm going to read you this just to clarify. I'm
Speaker 2: not doing this to please one guy in particular. But
Speaker 2: soft and cute it's the type of attractive I want
Speaker 2: to be, and ideally i'd like to attract someone protective
Speaker 2: and manly. I have trauma from middle and high school
Speaker 2: bullying over being the tall, manly black girl with a
Speaker 2: deep voice. Also, I was admittedly big. Becoming skinny helped
Speaker 2: a lot, and that sucks. I'm so deeply uncomfortable with
Speaker 2: that image. And the truth is I'm weak and emotional
Speaker 2: and I want it to show I can tell someone
Speaker 2: off if I'm in danger or disrespected, of course, but
Speaker 2: I'm talking about being seen as soft cute by people
Speaker 2: in general. First of all, do you think it's possible
Speaker 2: without being short and naturally cutesy? So many women get
Speaker 2: off that cutie pie vibe effortlessly. But when I'm my
Speaker 2: normal self, I'm only being referred to as dominatrix mommy queen.
Speaker 2: Why for cursing, wearing keels, or being assertive, or you know,
Speaker 2: because I'm a black woman, a dominant Yes, disgusting.
Speaker 1: Anyway, Second, I write this.
Speaker 2: When I found this, I just read the title and
Speaker 2: then she started telling this. Second of all, if I
Speaker 2: have to put on a show, what do I do?
Speaker 2: Good posture is a natural for me. I'm working hard
Speaker 2: on not cursing. I think it helps. I like to
Speaker 2: wear pink and dresses and look feminine, but heels are
Speaker 2: a no no. I want to avoid being taken as dominant.
Speaker 2: I try to sound like Miley Cyrus. And if I'm
Speaker 2: trying to be anyway, if I no Miley, shame, We've
Speaker 2: shamed nowhere Cyrus enough on.
Speaker 1: This, there's no WI Why are you we?
Speaker 2: I did someone know a research, and I really like her,
Speaker 2: so take it back. I'm glad. Do you think it
Speaker 2: will help if I speak quietly? Or is it just
Speaker 2: annoying and it comes off as being insecure. I'm so
Speaker 2: tired of being attractive only as a strong woman. Tell
Speaker 2: me what to do, yaches.
Speaker 1: This is a no comment for me.
Speaker 3: Acting small and cute is just that acting small and cute.
Speaker 3: So there's nothing you can really do to change the
Speaker 3: general perception if it's going to require performance, if you
Speaker 3: to even get there, Like, in order to act small
Speaker 3: and cute, you'd need to have a physical social interaction
Speaker 3: with everyone for them to see you as small and cute,
Speaker 3: and that's not what you want. You want to be
Speaker 3: just perceived as small and cute generally.
Speaker 2: So you think it's not possible for her because the
Speaker 2: only way she be seen as small and cute is
Speaker 2: if she puts effort in.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it'll be a caricature of performance.
Speaker 3: It's like, act small and cute, start wearing you know,
Speaker 3: pink cardigans, pearls, speaking in a high pitch, real voice,
Speaker 3: fall over a couple times when you're walking down the
Speaker 3: grocery store aisle, like it would definitely work, Like at
Speaker 3: what costs?
Speaker 2: Do you think there's a way to be I think
Speaker 2: her issue is that she wants to attract the right people,
Speaker 2: and it sounds like she's not attracting the right person.
Speaker 2: Does she need a change who she wants to be
Speaker 2: attracted to?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: Or does she need a change full stop?
Speaker 3: I think it is about self perception. So like, for example,
Speaker 3: grass is green and vibe, we all get it, Like
Speaker 3: you assume that the contrast to what you have would
Speaker 3: be better for your circumstance because your current circumstance is
Speaker 3: not working. But then, you know we've spoken about before,
Speaker 3: like the women who are getting their voices deepened because
Speaker 3: it's so high pitched not being taken seriously, and the
Speaker 3: amounts of women getting boob jobs because they don't want
Speaker 3: to be perceived as boyish. It's like the same issue
Speaker 3: on either side. I don't think it goes away, but
Speaker 3: I do think working on self perception also works as well,
Speaker 3: because internalizing that small and cute is inherently feminine because
Speaker 3: it is socialized that way. Is the issue, Like, it's
Speaker 3: one thing for that to be the general consensus, and
Speaker 3: it's another thing for you to think that and believe.
Speaker 2: That and you think you can telk yourself into feeling
Speaker 2: that way.
Speaker 3: Of course, because, for example, I remember when I started
Speaker 3: doing stuff in media, a lot of the rhetoric was like,
Speaker 3: how do you how are you so confident being plus sized?
Speaker 3: And I was like, I didn't even really know that
Speaker 3: that's what the phrase was before I came into media.
Speaker 1: You people said this.
Speaker 3: Now it's in my head, you know, And then I
Speaker 3: was thinking, like, I was raised by a Liz. I
Speaker 3: don't know about your parents, but my parents geed me up,
Speaker 3: made me feel so special, so hot, so pretty, so smart.
Speaker 3: So I literally can't untangle from the way that I
Speaker 3: was like brainwashed to be thinking that I was special,
Speaker 3: pretty cute, and smart in the same way that I'm
Speaker 3: sure it's hard for everybody else to brainwash themselves into
Speaker 3: thinking or not recognizing that beauty standards are real, that
Speaker 3: they exist.
Speaker 1: But I guess the.
Speaker 3: First step is to interrogate who made you feel certain
Speaker 3: things about the world, and is the way that person
Speaker 3: sees the world more important than the way you want
Speaker 3: to see the world.
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Is there a world where you can be who you
Speaker 3: are as you look and still be perceived by yourself
Speaker 3: as delicate and.
Speaker 2: So cut, small and cute. It's great advice. I'll send
Speaker 2: it on flex and frooms.
Speaker 3: It's been too long since we've had a bit of it.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't call it a moral dilemma. It's just an
Speaker 3: interesting question to unpack and uncover a bit more about
Speaker 3: you and hopefully learn a little bit more about me.
Speaker 2: I think I've seen enough.
Speaker 3: I've seen what I needed to see. Question for you,
Speaker 3: If you could choose to never have to sleep, breathe,
Speaker 3: or eat and still stay lies, what which would you choose?
Speaker 1: Never to do breeze, sleep what?
Speaker 2: I love to sleep and I love to eat. I
Speaker 2: don't want to give either of those up. WHOA what
Speaker 2: about you?
Speaker 1: I would?
Speaker 3: I would say eating because I really enjoy eating, but
Speaker 3: I hate that it's tied to living, and I hate
Speaker 3: all the health implications with it, Like you can't just
Speaker 3: have it little snack to yourself and do enjoyment. It's like, oh,
Speaker 3: don't eat that high cholesterol. Don't eat that, you're gonna
Speaker 3: get the itis. Don't eat that, you'll get really tired.
Speaker 3: Don't eat that it's really bad for you. And sometimes
Speaker 3: you just need to eat something, and all of a sudden,
Speaker 3: and I think what's also really bad for me is
Speaker 3: I get food fixations, so I'm not even enjoying the
Speaker 3: things I'm eating. I'm just created a habit in my
Speaker 3: brain that's like, we're eating this, now.
Speaker 2: Why do you get food fixation?
Speaker 3: I was gonna say I was raised the pickI eater,
Speaker 3: but I just grew up being a pickI eater, So
Speaker 3: at one point it was necessary for me to pick
Speaker 3: a food and eat it because I wasn't gonna eat
Speaker 3: anything else. So the habit came from being young and
Speaker 3: feeling being like I only like egg whites this time,
Speaker 3: I only like egg yolk. I only like this. Mom's like, okay,
Speaker 3: well you just need to eat something, so eat this.
Speaker 3: And then the habit of picking one.
Speaker 1: Food stuck.
Speaker 2: Cycle.
Speaker 3: It's a very boring thing to do thinking about what
Speaker 3: to eat. I just want to eat for fun. So
Speaker 3: I would definitely remove that one. Okay, I know I
Speaker 3: said that you can pick one and still stay alive,
Speaker 3: but I feel like breathing has all these extra considerations
Speaker 3: like isn't breathing the reason why, like your blood circulates
Speaker 3: and stuff.
Speaker 1: Don't you need to Yeah?
Speaker 2: Also, i'd miss the feeling of.
Speaker 3: Like, are you breathing into the mic, doing deep breaths
Speaker 3: before you start speaking.
Speaker 1: I'd miss that too. So which one you said? No breathing?
Speaker 1: I said no eating?
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I like like I like the feeling of
Speaker 2: being hungry and then sat eating your hunger. I love
Speaker 2: the feeling of being really tired and then getting into bed.
Speaker 1: Just foody things.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but both of those things are very much If
Speaker 2: they don't go right, it's like has a big impact
Speaker 2: on you, which I guess is the same with breathing,
Speaker 2: Like if you if you're really hungry for a long time,
Speaker 2: you lose concentration, if you can't sleep, like asleep last night.
Speaker 1: Terrible is the worst, the worst one.
Speaker 3: Yeah, everybody needs to go and ask their nearest and
Speaker 3: dearests just it doesn't even matter what their answer is,
Speaker 3: but just why they've picked it.
Speaker 2: Mmmm.
Speaker 1: You know I like that because consequences just a bit
Speaker 1: of fun.
Speaker 2: A little bit of homework for everyone you're with flexing frooms.
Speaker 1: This is flex and frooms on CAD pet names. Do
Speaker 1: you believe in them?
Speaker 2: Yes or no? Before you can even get it out
Speaker 2: of your mouth, I'm saying yes, yes, mammy.
Speaker 1: Which ones do you use?
Speaker 2: Hunt? Yep, bubba.
Speaker 1: That's oh, I love when you call me doll. It's
Speaker 1: a good one.
Speaker 2: Love is one that I'm trying to bring into the rotation.
Speaker 1: Have you always used those?
Speaker 2: Probably They've actually become more prevalent as I've gotten older. Like,
Speaker 2: for example, I was at a cafe on the weekend
Speaker 2: and woman had me my coffee who was younger than me,
Speaker 2: and I said, oh thanks, HNH, Like, WHOA have I
Speaker 2: become like one of those all the weak age you've
Speaker 2: aged out? Because it doesn't feel passive aggressive when I
Speaker 2: say it, but I remember being young and people calling
Speaker 2: me han like I don't believe in calling particularly people
Speaker 2: who are working in service or people that I don't know,
Speaker 2: or older people calling me hun can feel often quite hostile.
Speaker 3: I wasn't say condescending, Oh yeah, that true, but I
Speaker 3: definitely also received as condescending.
Speaker 1: I was like, it doesn't even fly off the tongue.
Speaker 3: And then I think the transition is you date someone
Speaker 3: and then you do pet names on one thousand, but
Speaker 3: you don't grow out of the habit, so you replace
Speaker 3: the partner pet names, which is a general pet name
Speaker 3: everyone can get it.
Speaker 1: Definitely a babe a babes babes A love and a lovely.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what do you say on emails? You say something
Speaker 2: on emails? Oh you say olah all a lovely, all
Speaker 2: a lovely everyone gets it. Not gendered, don't care. The
Speaker 2: babes to me is aggressive.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's from love Island. Oh really, you're right babes.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Look Greg, and we're having a tough one.
Speaker 2: She sounds not from my filence.
Speaker 1: I'm an essexcal I digress.
Speaker 3: There is someone here who's really upset because they don't
Speaker 3: enjoy being called pet names and doesn't know how to
Speaker 3: tell the person pet naming them that they're not comfortable
Speaker 3: with that. When reading that, I felt like, wow, maybe
Speaker 3: I am the issue because I hadn't really thought about
Speaker 3: it a lot. But I always assume that people would
Speaker 3: find being called pet name quite endearing, because I mean
Speaker 3: it to be endearing.
Speaker 1: But you know, listen to this.
Speaker 3: My lesbian girlfriend as in girl space friend won't stop
Speaker 3: calling me pet names, and I don't know how to
Speaker 3: tell her.
Speaker 1: I feel super uncomfortable.
Speaker 3: I'm a straight female thirty one years old and my
Speaker 3: friend is twenty six. She pops in and out of
Speaker 3: my life, and I've known her for some years, but
Speaker 3: we rarely see each other. Recently, she's gone through a
Speaker 3: breakup and has a lot of issues at home, and
Speaker 3: I've been trying to be a good friend and be
Speaker 3: there for her, and lately she texts me a lot
Speaker 3: or calls me almost.
Speaker 1: Every day to talk for hours. Well, she's been calling.
Speaker 3: Me babe bee bee bee, my love love, and.
Speaker 1: It makes me uncomfortable.
Speaker 3: She's also asked if I could be her sleeping buddy
Speaker 3: so when she's I see what the conferend is, okay.
Speaker 3: She's also asked me if I could be her sleeping
Speaker 3: buddy so when she's sleeping to call me so I
Speaker 3: can be on the phone and she could fall asleep.
Speaker 3: I said no and said I don't keep my phone
Speaker 3: next to me when sleeping. She also sends me good
Speaker 3: night text messages and a lot of TikTok's dedicating songs
Speaker 3: to me. Don't I have said I appreciate her as
Speaker 3: a friend, but nothing else. She responded to that, saying
Speaker 3: she's just big talk but would never do anything but
Speaker 3: the whole babe bee calling makes me extremely uncomfortable and
Speaker 3: I don't know how to approach it since I don't
Speaker 3: want to offend her and assume she's trying to replace
Speaker 3: her excess attention with mine.
Speaker 1: Whoa, heck, there's a lot of layers that. Yeah, that
Speaker 1: headline misleading, so misleading. There's a biggest issue.
Speaker 2: It's bubbling over. I personally have a lot of thoughts
Speaker 2: on this one.
Speaker 3: What are your initial thoughts flex My initial thoughts is
Speaker 3: I wish for most platonic friendships to have just an
Speaker 3: element of romance. I think that friends should be romancing
Speaker 3: each other. Take your friend to a nice dinner, buy
Speaker 3: a friend of nice anniversary gift. Definitely, I think that
Speaker 3: we need to elevate the sacred nature of friendship, especially
Speaker 3: close friendships, make me your soulmate, commit to them in
Speaker 3: a way that you would to romantic partner, like be
Speaker 3: like I'm gonna be here, write or die for you
Speaker 3: a love.
Speaker 1: All of that.
Speaker 3: Seems like you don't want that from this person. So
Speaker 3: in this case, I really don't know how I would
Speaker 3: approach a situation where somebody was making me so uncomfortable
Speaker 3: and that I hadn't already expressed that I was uncomfortable
Speaker 3: if for some reason, I'm imagining, if your messaging here
Speaker 3: that you've already alluded to it and be like, hey,
Speaker 3: look like, don't call me those things. They don't like it.
Speaker 3: They're not taking you seriously. I would soft ghost, but
Speaker 3: this person started the message with saying she pops in
Speaker 3: and out of my life and I've known it for years,
Speaker 3: but we rarely see each other. So to me, a
Speaker 3: soft ghost is nothing but a recalibration. I don't know
Speaker 3: this whole. Honesty is the best part. Honesty is the
Speaker 3: best policy policy over communicative thing. As an over communicator,
Speaker 3: I swear it works half the time. I think this
Speaker 3: year here is different. I think she's concerned that the
Speaker 3: friend has feelings for her. The fact that she mentioned.
Speaker 2: The first sentence that her friends a lesbian suggests to
Speaker 2: me that she's a little bit too consumed that the
Speaker 2: lesbian vibes might be put upon her.
Speaker 1: Is that just what straight people do? Sometimes?
Speaker 2: Though?
Speaker 3: People Yeah, like, I can't be affectionate without you feeling
Speaker 3: like I want to root you. Yeah, I do not
Speaker 3: just be affectionate with you. And maybe that's just not
Speaker 3: the relationship. Maybe you can't.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's just what it is. What would you do?
Speaker 2: I personally use a lot of pet names, particularly in
Speaker 2: a work sitting.
Speaker 1: I love to say.
Speaker 2: King, King, queen, prince, princess.
Speaker 1: We love king.
Speaker 2: People love it when I like, I saw my neighbor
Speaker 2: the other day, I was like, hey, King, can you
Speaker 2: help me? He's like, thank you so much calling me King,
Speaker 2: Like I really appreciated that. I'm like, this is on rotation.
Speaker 2: It feels so not the only one, of course, but
Speaker 2: love you King, Blame my king, that's my king. But
Speaker 2: I'm definitely someone who's done pet names in relationships. Me
Speaker 2: using pet names has become a new thing as I've
Speaker 2: gotten older. But previously I'd have a boyfriend we call
Speaker 2: each other baby, which before that I would have thought
Speaker 2: that was absolutely disgusting. But when someone you know, throw
Speaker 2: some babies around, I think she should. Maybe maybe I
Speaker 2: agree with this soft ghost in this scenario, but I
Speaker 2: also do think it is they allowed it to get
Speaker 2: to this point. Oh you never you allow things in
Speaker 2: your relationships. I'm going to say that, and then you
Speaker 2: get mad when they take you up on offers.
Speaker 3: As we have discovered, fifty percent of all of your
Speaker 3: conflict is half of your fault, to be regarded obviously
Speaker 3: with a grain of salt, But in this situation, you
Speaker 3: gotta go hard. You're gonna go soft, go hard. That's
Speaker 3: full hate.
Speaker 1: I'm not fenfortable.
Speaker 3: Can't happen. Please stop, We're not doing this anymore. Please
Speaker 3: foot down, go soft ghost for.
Speaker 2: Me, I'll use too match I hate lol no more
Speaker 2: Bay call me, call me the sinder And then for
Speaker 2: some funny emojis, you.
Speaker 1: Got a way out? Yeah you're listening to Flex and
Speaker 1: Frooms on Cada.
Speaker 2: I have been staying in my same house for two
Speaker 2: years now. The lease is coming up in October, just
Speaker 2: as I got back from Europe. Because I love when
Speaker 2: things are line up in a way that's extremely stressful,
Speaker 2: but I digress.
Speaker 1: Spice, spice of life. Yeah, OK, it is a bit
Speaker 1: like that.
Speaker 2: I've been. I've had a quite chill, quite a chill
Speaker 2: few months. I'm probably ready to get a kick up
Speaker 2: the ass. But of course, in conjunction to having to
Speaker 2: find a house, I'm also needing to find a new housemate.
Speaker 2: So someone that I know, a friend of mine, has
Speaker 2: decided to make the leap and move out with me.
Speaker 1: Amazing and I know how well.
Speaker 2: Like I don't think I need to ask how she lives,
Speaker 2: because I don't feel like I need to ask cash
Speaker 2: this because I've got a really great gauge on her
Speaker 2: and we have a lot of mutual friends, and I
Speaker 2: just know what she's like. She's a very hard worker.
Speaker 1: Have you seen her house? Yes?
Speaker 2: Okay, and you set foot in, Yes, you've had a
Speaker 2: look yep. Great like the furniture, like the vibe, very
Speaker 2: much like her. However, we want a third housemate. We've
Speaker 2: both been casting the net and she has been period.
Speaker 1: We've been doing casting.
Speaker 2: Well, we kind of have the woman that I'm moving
Speaker 2: out with. One of her friends is keen to move out,
Speaker 2: so we had a group chat the other day over
Speaker 2: Facebook Messenger, little call up, but the friend is in
Speaker 2: another country, so the kind of the times were in
Speaker 2: lining up, so it ended up having to be just
Speaker 2: me and her having a conversation on the phone, no awkwardness,
Speaker 2: which was amazing. Really liked her vibe, strong, confident, fun
Speaker 2: like just seemed like a good vibe. Also, she probably
Speaker 2: might listen to this, so but I love that anyway,
Speaker 2: I won't get the way any details. I also don't
Speaker 2: wanted to turn her off, like I don't usually use
Speaker 2: people for content that I live with just FYI. So
Speaker 2: my question to you flex is what should have I
Speaker 2: asked her? Or what should I ask her and my
Speaker 2: friend before moving in with them? Because it's a three
Speaker 2: person sharehouse and I know things can go wrong in
Speaker 2: this dynamic flex. I know you live alone. I do,
Speaker 2: so I'm not sure how helpful you'll be in this scenario,
Speaker 2: but extremely helpful.
Speaker 1: Don't you worry about it.
Speaker 3: I'm glad you're asking, because I have made the mistake
Speaker 3: in too many situations where I needed to be asking
Speaker 3: the right questions of just making sure that I was
Speaker 3: being charming and facilitating them being charming. And before you know,
Speaker 3: I'm like, wait, I didn't check anything. I remember before
Speaker 3: I moved into my most recent apartment. I had just
Speaker 3: finished watching some kind of TikTok about what you should
Speaker 3: check before you move into an apartment.
Speaker 1: It's from this New York based real term who leases
Speaker 1: shitty apartments. So she's like, this is what you should
Speaker 1: look out for.
Speaker 3: So she's like, look at the shower pressure, the water
Speaker 3: pressure in every room. Check how many bars you have
Speaker 3: when you're walking into every room. Check where the powerpoints are,
Speaker 3: if they're inconvenient locations for the rooms that you think
Speaker 3: you might want to use them for so if it's
Speaker 3: a bedroom, other powerpoints on either side of the bed, etcetera, etcetera.
Speaker 3: I went in, didn't do any of that. I didn't
Speaker 3: even go into this apartment. Actually Sally went into this one,
Speaker 3: So yes, can we do GI do all the FaceTime
Speaker 3: I get the gist. I didn't have the gist. I
Speaker 3: moved and I was like, whoa, what this place is
Speaker 3: so much bigger than I thought. Wow, So where was
Speaker 3: the And I'm trying to give it to cross referencing,
Speaker 3: so bad person's asking this sense. But I would say,
Speaker 3: the one thing that I want to know is don't
Speaker 3: ask questions about this person in particular, tell them about
Speaker 3: scenarios and see how they respond.
Speaker 2: Whoa. Yeah. My other friend was saying we should do
Speaker 2: some sort of like experiment like that with each other.
Speaker 1: Because if you say, like, oh, you know, how are
Speaker 1: you with like cleaning?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, like good, like I'll get it done or whatever,
Speaker 3: be like, oh, you know, we had our last housemate
Speaker 3: who was always on my back for not doing dishes
Speaker 3: every day, like are you what do you think about that?
Speaker 1: What do you begone?
Speaker 3: See how they respond, and then find a different way
Speaker 3: to answer ask the same question because I also think
Speaker 3: the tricky thing is we're not all as self aware
Speaker 3: as we like to think that we.
Speaker 2: Are upsetting for me to know about.
Speaker 1: We're all a mess.
Speaker 3: So I don't think anyone's gonna say out loud like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I'll leave my stuff everywhere if I feel like.
Speaker 2: It a dirty, dirty heathen in the house, they will.
Speaker 1: Be hair everywhere. You won't know.
Speaker 3: Also, I find that like ask the questions that matter
Speaker 3: based on the household that you are trying to curate.
Speaker 3: So I'd imagine you want like a not a rag
Speaker 3: of household, but it did a party, social household. Maybe
Speaker 3: watch some TV together, have some chit chats, you know,
Speaker 3: like you're building some kind of familial unit.
Speaker 1: Maybe not siblings, maybe aunties.
Speaker 3: Yeah, or something together. So are they open to that
Speaker 3: life style as well? Do they also cook? Do they
Speaker 3: also enjoy? Because I think if I was living with
Speaker 3: someone now, I would want someone who lived a very
Speaker 3: practical and repetitive lifestyle.
Speaker 1: Yes, me too, them being my rock let me be
Speaker 1: the chaos.
Speaker 2: Well, both the girls that I'm potentially moving in with
Speaker 2: I have full time jobs that acquire office times, whereas,
Speaker 2: as you know, in my life, we just come into cata.
Speaker 2: Otherwise I'm roaming around like a little frog in the
Speaker 2: forest doing what a lot friend, literally flitting about the place.
Speaker 2: So it'd be nice to have a bit of.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel nervous about picking the wrong person and
Speaker 3: living with them for a year, Like, what is the
Speaker 3: worst kind of person you think you would live with?
Speaker 2: I'm very unflappable these days. Wow, Previously I wouldn't have been.
Speaker 2: Previously it was quite an anxious thing to try and
Speaker 2: find a house. I've had to share houses in my time.
Speaker 2: Both very positive. Now I feel like I could kind
Speaker 2: of handle anything. I don't want to jinx myself. Probably
Speaker 2: the things that I would worry about would be people
Speaker 2: who like a judgmental of my lifestyle, because my lifestyle
Speaker 2: is like relatively unconventional. I do go to bed quite late.
Speaker 1: What time.
Speaker 2: Lately it's been like one or two am, not exactly
Speaker 2: by choice. I've been struggling sleeping and I get up
Speaker 2: whenever I want, And I find it very frustrating if
Speaker 2: someone is like an early riser, if they comment on
Speaker 2: my or they're like, you know, it's such a beautiul
Speaker 2: day outside. Yeah, I'm gonna find that out for myself.
Speaker 1: Three is it you've missed the whole day. Yeah, literally,
Speaker 1: like you never.
Speaker 2: Get up this early. It's like, yeah, because I don't
Speaker 2: have to.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So yeah, someone who doesn't really shame my lifestyles, because
Speaker 2: that's a huge one. It's gonna be unconventional. My escape
Speaker 2: as well, is that in an ideal world, in my dream,
Speaker 2: I'm going to be moving out by myself in the
Speaker 2: next you know, after twelve months time, I think it's
Speaker 2: time for me to make the leap, become become my
Speaker 2: own self sustaining unit.
Speaker 3: So what you're saying is you can handle anything for
Speaker 3: twelve months because you're trying to be out of there.
Speaker 1: Uh huh, Okay, cool. I know it's not a fever.
Speaker 2: I think with anything that could be challenging. If you
Speaker 2: think it's going on forever, it's quite unbearable. But if
Speaker 2: you give yourself a date, even if it doesn't happen,
Speaker 2: you've got some mental escape routes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the whole thing sounds very stressful.
Speaker 3: I don't know if the living situations that do exist currently,
Speaker 3: like the positive ones, if they were a byproduct by
Speaker 3: someone's strategy or it was just by chance. But the
Speaker 3: two amazing sharehouse experiences you had. Do you think that
Speaker 3: you had anything to do with it prior to moving In.
Speaker 2: The first one, I knew the woman from work, and
Speaker 2: she's a very very curated, intentional person, super smart like
Speaker 2: you and her would get along very well because she
Speaker 2: thinks about everything she does and it's all very considered,
Speaker 2: and she likes her alone time and curates people, has
Speaker 2: dinner parties. Oh, she's very crafty. She's just like a genius.
Speaker 2: And then my current housemate is very go with the
Speaker 2: flow and fun and with the same age that was
Speaker 2: good for a certain thing and very receptive to feedback.
Speaker 2: We both are, so I think I've like in part,
Speaker 2: facilitated it as well. It's kind of I think for
Speaker 2: the most time that I've lived with people, i've been single,
Speaker 2: Like there's been a while where I've been with someone else,
Speaker 2: and I think that can change your dynamic. So I'm
Speaker 2: not sure what I'd be like if and when I
Speaker 2: find a partner in this sharehouse. That complicates things.
Speaker 1: But what are you imagining yourself to be like?
Speaker 2: More just taking up more space than I usually do
Speaker 2: and just bringing a new energy into the house that
Speaker 2: I have to be kind of responsible for that's a
Speaker 2: lot of pressure. Like we were saying now that you
Speaker 2: don't put your boyfriends out there or anyone you're dating
Speaker 2: just because how they might reflect on you. It's giving that.
Speaker 2: But in a household, very domestic situation, yes, but yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: that's a whole nother kettle of fish that I personally
Speaker 2: don't have to deal with right now. But I look
Speaker 2: forward to it. I'm really excited to a.
Speaker 1: Lot of new changes it is.
Speaker 2: I'm going to need some moving out tips from you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, wow, flax and frooms.
Speaker 2: See. I am a big fan of Mona. I know
Speaker 2: you are too, as you kind of growling, huge fan.
Speaker 2: It's pretty cool. I like the kind of one shift
Speaker 2: that it's had from when I was a child being
Speaker 2: considered really daggy and scary. It was a lot of misconceptions,
Speaker 2: absolutely jokes that were bandied about about Tasmania. Absolutely anymore.
Speaker 1: I'm happy for them. It's a great pr move. I'm sure.
Speaker 3: I'm not sure, but I could imagine the residents might
Speaker 3: feel a bit of resentment, because it's always a bit
Speaker 3: weird when like the thing you were bullied for is
Speaker 3: the thing that's now cool.
Speaker 2: The people that get to glow up. Yeah, I was
Speaker 2: reading this is actually this segment isn't actually really related
Speaker 2: to it, But I wanted to talk to you about
Speaker 2: the Festival of Dangerous Ideas. And I saw this before
Speaker 2: all happening. I read it on the City Morning Herald
Speaker 2: about a talk on a certain act, a certain sexual
Speaker 2: act that is deemed illegal and rightly so. And I
Speaker 2: think this talk. Wanted to kind of consider the parameters
Speaker 2: of that issue and talk about it freely, because the
Speaker 2: whole thing about the Festival of Dangerous Ideas is sharing
Speaker 2: opinions and thoughts on things that we don't often.
Speaker 1: Talk about Critical Thinking Fest.
Speaker 2: Something similar happened with Mona a few years ago with
Speaker 2: the I believe it was a performance with somebody inside
Speaker 2: a carcass of a animal. What is your take on things
Speaker 2: that are inflammatory, or rather things that explore issues that
Speaker 2: make us uncomfortable.
Speaker 3: I think they're necessary, but I am very mindful of
Speaker 3: the environments they happen in. So obviously we've had discussions
Speaker 3: before on you know, it's not always the most safe
Speaker 3: and sensible thing to talk about inflammatory topics to any
Speaker 3: old audience, because you're not really responsible for what.
Speaker 1: They do with that information. And how that impacts other people.
Speaker 1: So I think in.
Speaker 3: A relatively sane, sensible environment where we're not just like
Speaker 3: nurturing a bunch of Serira killers, I think, yeah, let's
Speaker 3: have a little chit chat. I also think that this
Speaker 3: is why you need quote unquote safe spaces, not spaces
Speaker 3: that are like without danger, but safe as in like
Speaker 3: minded people, shared goals, shared interests, shared responsibility, shared sakes.
Speaker 3: Then you can have these discussions fairly. But if it's
Speaker 3: just like chatting, you know, tidbits in a random area
Speaker 3: to a random crowd, with no responsibility of anything that
Speaker 3: gets said, slippery slope.
Speaker 2: What's the difference between the safe space where people are
Speaker 2: respectful and an echo chamber.
Speaker 3: Well, I think a safe space, like for me, this station,
Speaker 3: like what this room is a safe space because I
Speaker 3: know that I can say what I need to, I
Speaker 3: have time to reiterate on a thought, I can backtrack,
Speaker 3: I can think out loud. That is safe for me.
Speaker 3: I don't feel hostility when I share an idea that
Speaker 3: is odd or strange, and I think that they're like,
Speaker 3: I think you're humor me enough that I can get
Speaker 3: to my point and feel as so I'm allowed to
Speaker 3: do that. An echo chamber would be if you were
Speaker 3: parroting everything that I said because I said it.
Speaker 2: I mean per win interesting good to know the I'm sure.
Speaker 1: Other people have different distinctions.
Speaker 2: I'm personally very hard to offend, and I don't have
Speaker 2: any religious time, so it's very hard for me to
Speaker 2: be offended by what people do because I don't necessarily
Speaker 2: have very strong opinions on things. It's very hard when
Speaker 2: you feel targeted and attacked, especially for art reasons, to
Speaker 2: not behave in a way that's wanting to tear them down.
Speaker 2: But will you be going to dangerous festive ideas?
Speaker 3: I want to go at least for one day or
Speaker 3: a few sessions here and there. Just depends because each
Speaker 3: session has a different ticket, So you have to know
Speaker 3: what you want to go to before you go, and that,
Speaker 3: to me is just too much planning.
Speaker 1: You've been listening to the Flex and Frooms Daily podcast.
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