1
00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:05,400
Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast.

2
00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:08,960
Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just

3
00:00:09,119 --> 00:00:10,280
Speaker 2: wants answers Now.

4
00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:13,200
Speaker 1: Hello, this is doctor Justin Coulson, the founder of Happy

5
00:00:13,240 --> 00:00:15,960
Speaker 1: Families dot com dot I you enjoying school holidays with

6
00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:19,360
Speaker 1: Kylie and the kids. Hey, honey, highlight of the school

7
00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:21,680
Speaker 1: holidays so far? What's it been.

8
00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:23,400
Speaker 2: Not having to make school launches?

9
00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:27,920
Speaker 1: Mornings have been different, really different, haven't they? What a gift?

10
00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:31,000
Speaker 2: I do enjoy the slower pace.

11
00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:34,440
Speaker 1: Well, what we're doing with this slower pace is we're

12
00:00:34,479 --> 00:00:36,959
Speaker 1: taking some time off the lengthy podcasts that you're used

13
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,279
Speaker 1: to hearing and just giving you some snippets, just some

14
00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:42,479
Speaker 1: quick ideas, keeping the podcast in your feed, but just

15
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:44,199
Speaker 1: short and simple so that you can spend as much

16
00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:46,559
Speaker 1: time as possible with your family while still getting some

17
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:50,639
Speaker 1: high quality parenting ideas today. An idea that I want

18
00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:53,040
Speaker 1: to emphasize. I talk about this all the time, Kylie,

19
00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:55,120
Speaker 1: but I reckon it's just one of those things that

20
00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:58,480
Speaker 1: parents need reminders of all the time. It's not your

21
00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,360
Speaker 1: job as a parent to fix every challenge that your

22
00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:05,280
Speaker 1: child faces. In fact, I think it's better if you don't.

23
00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:08,800
Speaker 1: And the reason is really simple. The more you fix,

24
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:13,959
Speaker 1: the more you disable your child. Like you literally disabled

25
00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:17,360
Speaker 1: your child cannot grow in confidence or confidence while you're

26
00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:18,959
Speaker 1: doing everything for them.

27
00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:21,959
Speaker 2: Well, a couple of weeks ago, we recognized that things

28
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,600
Speaker 2: weren't going so well in our house, and we sat

29
00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:26,680
Speaker 2: down with the kids and we had a family meeting. Yes,

30
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:29,720
Speaker 2: things aren't going so well, but it's not our job

31
00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:30,319
Speaker 2: to fix it.

32
00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:33,160
Speaker 1: Right, So, for those of you who are not familiar,

33
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:34,720
Speaker 1: we have this Sunday meeting. We say to the kids,

34
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,800
Speaker 1: what's going well, what's not? What do we need to rethink?

35
00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:40,920
Speaker 1: And the kids all identified that mornings were abysmal. Abysmal,

36
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,240
Speaker 1: that's a good word for it. Mornings were terrible.

37
00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:48,200
Speaker 2: But I didn't find uniforms, couldn't find school bags, we

38
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:51,880
Speaker 2: were running to school. Was getting really, really frustrated.

39
00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:53,680
Speaker 1: But we've got this ethos that it's not our job

40
00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:55,640
Speaker 1: to fix things. And so we said to.

41
00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:58,080
Speaker 2: The kids, what are you going to do about it?

42
00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:00,920
Speaker 1: And what happened the.

43
00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:04,200
Speaker 2: Last week of school? Oh my goodness. They were up

44
00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:09,160
Speaker 2: every morning, dressed, breakfasted, hair brushed, ready to go before

45
00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:10,680
Speaker 2: we'd even hit I think seven o'clock.

46
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:12,720
Speaker 1: It was like we had somebody else's kids. In the

47
00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:15,600
Speaker 1: house just amazing.

48
00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:18,160
Speaker 2: Maybe it was a rush to the finish line they

49
00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:20,120
Speaker 2: knew they only had a few more days left, but

50
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:21,000
Speaker 2: I tell you it.

51
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:25,639
Speaker 1: Was a godsend all right. So our challenge for today is.

52
00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:28,280
Speaker 2: When things aren't going so well, want you to help

53
00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:30,800
Speaker 2: your kids. So firstly, be calm, calm them down if

54
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,600
Speaker 2: they need calming, but just be there as a support

55
00:02:33,639 --> 00:02:36,760
Speaker 2: as they work through to find solutions themselves.

56
00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,120
Speaker 1: Right. So, in other words, we want to when the

57
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,720
Speaker 1: kids are out of control and things need fixing, don't

58
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:44,600
Speaker 1: fix get them to fix it by saying you look stuck.

59
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,480
Speaker 1: What do you think is the best way forward? When

60
00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:49,519
Speaker 1: they're not emotional, I love it, okay. Oh by the way,

61
00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:52,480
Speaker 1: one quick point on that, if you've got really little kids,

62
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:55,320
Speaker 1: if the task before them is just too big, it

63
00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:58,320
Speaker 1: is reasonable for a parent to say, hey, you are struggling,

64
00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:01,360
Speaker 1: let's go and do this together. You don't fix it

65
00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:03,720
Speaker 1: for them, but sometimes you might fix it with them.

66
00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:06,799
Speaker 1: Ideally they'll fix it themselves, but sometimes you just need

67
00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:08,760
Speaker 1: to fix it with them because they're too little or

68
00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:12,160
Speaker 1: they're too overwhelmed. We hope that this helps to make

69
00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:15,639
Speaker 1: your family happier. The happy families podcast is produced by

70
00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:19,120
Speaker 1: Justin Ruland from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our executive producer.

71
00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:21,600
Speaker 1: He's the one who gave his permission to do these short, sweet,

72
00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:25,200
Speaker 1: simple podcasts during the holidays, so we hope that is helpful.

73
00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:28,080
Speaker 1: If you'd like more info for making your family happier,

74
00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:30,480
Speaker 1: you can find it all at happy families dot com,

75
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:30,720
Speaker 1: dot a