WEBVTT - ALESSANDRA RAMPOLLA - MAFS - CHANNEL NINE 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:01.680 It's in the news today, but it was actually on 0:00:01.720 --> 0:00:05.120 TV Reload, the podcast Last Weep that wy Hey, guys, 0:00:05.120 --> 0:00:07.200 welcome back to TV Reload. I want to thank you 0:00:07.280 --> 0:00:10.760 for clicking and downloading on today's episode with Alessandra, one 0:00:10.800 --> 0:00:14.600 of the relationship experts from Married at First Sight Australia, 0:00:14.760 --> 0:00:18.720 which launches season twelve tonight on Channel nine. Married at 0:00:18.720 --> 0:00:21.720 First Sight is in institution and so many people watch 0:00:21.800 --> 0:00:24.840 the Channel nine reality series, not just in Australia but 0:00:25.079 --> 0:00:27.760 all around the world. I'm excited to share with you 0:00:27.880 --> 0:00:31.600 my catch up with Alessandra, who is the sexy psychologist 0:00:31.600 --> 0:00:35.400 on the show. There is something so effortlessly engaging about 0:00:35.440 --> 0:00:39.440 her accent and her intelligence. There was literally no editing 0:00:39.520 --> 0:00:41.879 to this podcast, which is unusual. Let me tell you, 0:00:42.240 --> 0:00:45.200 Alessandro will unpack the way in which she was picked 0:00:45.240 --> 0:00:47.879 to be on the couch working with these couples. We 0:00:47.960 --> 0:00:50.960 will chat about her relationship with John and Mel and 0:00:51.000 --> 0:00:53.760 how she feels about her connection with the other experts. 0:00:54.200 --> 0:00:57.760 I find out about what Alessandra thinks about the connection 0:00:58.120 --> 0:01:01.560 with OnlyFans and Married at fort Side, which has always 0:01:01.600 --> 0:01:04.679 fascinated me. You will get everything from how she feels 0:01:04.680 --> 0:01:07.760 about this season, what we have to learn from Meredith 0:01:07.800 --> 0:01:10.160 First Sight as viewers, and what. 0:01:10.040 --> 0:01:11.520 Makes this show so addictive. 0:01:11.959 --> 0:01:14.479 There's actually so much to talk about, with so many 0:01:14.480 --> 0:01:17.360 inside revelations. So guys, as I said, sit back and 0:01:17.400 --> 0:01:20.720 relax as we unpack the wonderful world of Meredith First 0:01:20.760 --> 0:01:22.679 Site Australia for season twelve. 0:01:23.720 --> 0:01:25.399 Hi, then can you hear me? 0:01:25.880 --> 0:01:28.040 Yes, I can hear you now. Thank you so much 0:01:28.080 --> 0:01:30.960 for that. Sorry about the technology. It's always a bit 0:01:30.959 --> 0:01:32.040 of a problem, isn't it. 0:01:32.040 --> 0:01:33.920 It is quote all right, no worries. 0:01:36.640 --> 0:01:39.080 I'm very excited about having this chat with you because 0:01:39.280 --> 0:01:41.959 I think you do such a fantastic job on the show, 0:01:42.040 --> 0:01:44.240 and over the years I've spoken to John and Mel 0:01:44.480 --> 0:01:47.040 and now I feel like I've collected all three of you. 0:01:47.080 --> 0:01:48.200 I've collected the set. 0:01:48.880 --> 0:01:51.320 Finally, I was a missing piece. 0:01:52.600 --> 0:01:56.240 I think your role as a sexologist is really important 0:01:56.240 --> 0:01:58.800 to the show. How did you get asked to be 0:01:58.840 --> 0:02:00.240 a part of Meredith First. 0:02:00.560 --> 0:02:01.480 Thank you so much. 0:02:02.440 --> 0:02:05.200 Yes, I think for a show when you're thinking about 0:02:05.280 --> 0:02:08.639 a marriage and a romantic relationship long term, you can't 0:02:08.680 --> 0:02:12.800 really think about that without considering the implications of the 0:02:12.880 --> 0:02:15.800 sexual connection and how that grows with the couple, or 0:02:15.840 --> 0:02:19.400 maybe perhaps doesn't and comes back to create problems in 0:02:19.440 --> 0:02:19.880 the future. 0:02:19.960 --> 0:02:22.880 So it is an integral part in my case with Matth. 0:02:23.840 --> 0:02:26.680 I think people from endemol Shine knew of my work 0:02:26.840 --> 0:02:29.960 through some previous work I had done where we had 0:02:30.000 --> 0:02:32.680 collided in the world of Emmy World in New. 0:02:32.600 --> 0:02:35.480 York years ago, and so they. 0:02:36.880 --> 0:02:40.600 At a certain point after Trish left the experiment, they 0:02:40.639 --> 0:02:44.040 were looking for somebody to come in, and somebody mentioned 0:02:44.040 --> 0:02:46.280 my name and they came to look for me and 0:02:46.400 --> 0:02:50.280 sent me a couple of seasons of the existing show, 0:02:50.320 --> 0:02:54.119 which is in Australia a much larger kind of bigger 0:02:54.440 --> 0:02:57.880 TV format than they do in other countries around the world. 0:02:57.919 --> 0:03:00.600 So I had a good grasp of what they were 0:03:00.600 --> 0:03:02.799 doing in Australia and I loved it. 0:03:02.880 --> 0:03:04.080 But I thought they. 0:03:04.000 --> 0:03:07.800 Were missing, of course, some chat around sexuality, and I 0:03:07.840 --> 0:03:11.959 also thought there were situations that could have really that 0:03:12.080 --> 0:03:16.080 could have been great for conversation that perhaps wasn't shown 0:03:16.120 --> 0:03:19.040 in previous seasons. So I was keen to kind of, 0:03:19.440 --> 0:03:22.360 you know, in terms of bad behaviors and things like 0:03:22.400 --> 0:03:25.280 that that were occurring on the experiment. I wanted to 0:03:25.320 --> 0:03:28.040 make sure that there was conversation surrounding that and not 0:03:28.160 --> 0:03:30.840 simply something that was shown but not really talked about. 0:03:31.000 --> 0:03:34.399 I'm always amazed at how you managed to make some 0:03:34.480 --> 0:03:39.680 taboo conversations sound quite normal without it sounding pervial weird. 0:03:40.760 --> 0:03:44.280 Oh thank you, that's so nice. 0:03:44.440 --> 0:03:46.880 I think, yes, I think sexuality is a topic that 0:03:46.920 --> 0:03:49.720 many people shy away from, precisely because they feel they 0:03:49.720 --> 0:03:51.720 don't know how to talk about it. They don't know 0:03:51.720 --> 0:03:54.480 if they have the right words, or if it's gonna 0:03:54.480 --> 0:03:59.040 sound like not couth or not nice or not agreeable 0:03:59.080 --> 0:04:01.360 to everyone. But I do think it's part of the 0:04:01.440 --> 0:04:04.400 human experience. So as long as you're speaking about it 0:04:04.440 --> 0:04:09.640 with respect and using correct terminology, meaning like the official terms, 0:04:09.800 --> 0:04:14.080 and then everybody can understand they're the official terms, I 0:04:14.080 --> 0:04:16.880 think adult conversation can be had, and I do think 0:04:16.960 --> 0:04:22.599 it lends to nuanced understanding of human interactions when you 0:04:22.640 --> 0:04:28.279 can include what desire, what passion, what perhaps feeling accepted 0:04:28.400 --> 0:04:32.000 or not or rejected by a potential partner, and what 0:04:32.040 --> 0:04:36.159 that does in terms of behaviors and feelings, and this 0:04:36.279 --> 0:04:40.680 all encompassing emotional roller coaster that is being in a relationship. 0:04:40.800 --> 0:04:43.200 I just think that we're getting better at being able 0:04:43.240 --> 0:04:45.719 to talk about sex. I don't know what's happened. What 0:04:45.760 --> 0:04:48.039 do you think has changed in the dynamics about the 0:04:48.080 --> 0:04:51.400 way in which we interact now that has made it 0:04:51.520 --> 0:04:53.839 maybe a little bit easier to talk about what we 0:04:53.960 --> 0:04:54.680 want sexually. 0:04:54.920 --> 0:04:59.400 Well, I do think communications make it much easier to 0:04:59.600 --> 0:05:04.120 normal what is normal meaning, you know, as you get 0:05:04.440 --> 0:05:08.840 used to listening to people chat about certain topics, they 0:05:08.920 --> 0:05:10.080 become less taboo. 0:05:10.120 --> 0:05:11.680 It's not as scary anymore. 0:05:11.680 --> 0:05:14.880 You've heard it a few times, it doesn't seem as 0:05:15.040 --> 0:05:18.640 ooh shocking, So you start normalizing something that is actually 0:05:18.720 --> 0:05:21.280 quite normal, which is our human sexual experience. 0:05:21.520 --> 0:05:22.440 So I do think. 0:05:22.360 --> 0:05:26.120 Social media, communications, just media in general, the fact that 0:05:26.360 --> 0:05:29.560 in Australia it's something that's not I don't think entirely 0:05:29.640 --> 0:05:32.000 normalized in media. I don't see it like I see 0:05:32.000 --> 0:05:34.800 it in other countries. In terms of, for instance, my 0:05:34.960 --> 0:05:38.640 profession as a sexologist. I've been working for twenty five 0:05:38.720 --> 0:05:43.280 years in South America in many countries very openly as 0:05:43.279 --> 0:05:47.680 a clinical sexologist in traditional media, and you don't necessarily 0:05:47.720 --> 0:05:51.240 see that in traditional media in Australia. So there is 0:05:51.279 --> 0:05:55.880 something about how the conversation starts opening up as you 0:05:56.000 --> 0:06:00.320 start normalizing and as we start seeping into well the 0:06:00.400 --> 0:06:04.520 traditional ways of communication, then it's no longer so foreign 0:06:04.560 --> 0:06:08.000 and people then feel like they too can chat about 0:06:08.040 --> 0:06:11.080 their experience and normalize the conversation. 0:06:11.520 --> 0:06:14.640 There must be something about Meredith First Sight though, that 0:06:15.279 --> 0:06:18.360 because it's so so successful in Australia, that it has 0:06:18.760 --> 0:06:21.760 penetrated in a way that it's opening a conversation that 0:06:21.839 --> 0:06:24.880 we hadn't seen before. Because you know, there's a lot 0:06:24.880 --> 0:06:28.440 of reality shows across Australia, and very successful ones, but 0:06:28.680 --> 0:06:31.000 nothing now beats Meredith First Sight when it comes to 0:06:31.080 --> 0:06:34.400 the ratings, and I think that Australia is mildly obsessed 0:06:34.440 --> 0:06:36.839 with this show. What do you think it is about 0:06:36.880 --> 0:06:39.800 this show? In particular? That means that it doesn't matter 0:06:39.800 --> 0:06:41.560 if people say that I like it or they think 0:06:41.600 --> 0:06:45.520 it's trashy, everyone still turns up and they're fascinated by it. 0:06:45.520 --> 0:06:48.520 It's like we're all the little mosquito on the wall 0:06:48.640 --> 0:06:52.240 that gets to see what's actually happening behind the closed 0:06:52.240 --> 0:06:56.039 door because there are no other TV shows, or there 0:06:56.080 --> 0:06:58.880 are no other places where you can see, you know, 0:06:59.040 --> 0:07:03.919 human interaction when people are trying to build a romantic connection. 0:07:04.040 --> 0:07:06.640 What does that look like how do people act, how 0:07:06.680 --> 0:07:08.640 do their insecurities flourish? 0:07:08.640 --> 0:07:12.760 And their behaviors you're able to actually see things play out, 0:07:13.160 --> 0:07:16.920 and it's much easier to identify behaviors when you're able 0:07:16.960 --> 0:07:19.960 to see it play out other than simply being described. 0:07:20.880 --> 0:07:23.840 So you start seeing behaviors that are either great and 0:07:23.920 --> 0:07:27.360 making things function correctly, or perhaps not so. 0:07:27.440 --> 0:07:30.040 Great, and then you can be like, oh, well. 0:07:29.880 --> 0:07:33.320 Maybe this is something I should refrain from because I 0:07:33.360 --> 0:07:36.160 see all these consequences. So I think there's something to 0:07:36.240 --> 0:07:38.200 it that's a little bit of a mirror, not only 0:07:38.440 --> 0:07:42.640 to the participants' behaviors, but to all of our behaviors 0:07:42.640 --> 0:07:47.200 and relationships. You start comparing yourself, do I do better? 0:07:47.320 --> 0:07:49.400 Am I worse at this? Do I really struggle in 0:07:49.400 --> 0:07:51.720 this topic? Can I relate to that? So I think 0:07:51.720 --> 0:07:53.800 there's all of that that goes into it as well, 0:07:54.040 --> 0:07:56.880 and it's the one place we've all seen and can 0:07:56.920 --> 0:07:58.280 go like, oh did you see this? 0:07:59.240 --> 0:08:02.440 What do you think? And those conversations open up. 0:08:02.640 --> 0:08:05.480 I think it's fascinating for myself because I think we 0:08:05.520 --> 0:08:08.080 get lazy in the dynamics of what we want out 0:08:08.120 --> 0:08:10.880 of our relationship, and we can out even if you're 0:08:11.040 --> 0:08:12.880 I'm not saying that I'm a bad person, or I'm 0:08:12.920 --> 0:08:14.880 not saying a good person or a bad person does this. 0:08:15.000 --> 0:08:17.560 But if you get lazy in a relationship, you toxic 0:08:17.600 --> 0:08:21.880 behavior can surface because you start trying to with unknowingly 0:08:21.960 --> 0:08:23.880 sort of manipulate your partner in a weird way. 0:08:24.040 --> 0:08:25.120 And then when you watch Meret. 0:08:24.960 --> 0:08:27.240 At first sight, you think to yourself, oh, I've learned 0:08:27.360 --> 0:08:30.880 terms like gas lighting and love bombing and ghosting and 0:08:30.920 --> 0:08:33.679 all these sorts of terminology, and you start to see 0:08:33.679 --> 0:08:35.920 some of it in yourself and you go, I think 0:08:35.920 --> 0:08:38.720 that's disgusting it, and do I do that? And the 0:08:38.760 --> 0:08:40.559 self reflection is also important. 0:08:40.760 --> 0:08:43.440 The self reflection, I think is incredibly important. 0:08:43.480 --> 0:08:46.280 And I think the conversations that can be generated around 0:08:46.320 --> 0:08:49.800 that a couple watching together, for instance, Yes, of course 0:08:50.240 --> 0:08:56.320 you might be really enthralled by the drama, like who 0:08:56.400 --> 0:08:59.040 is it is? It is? It is an entertainment show 0:08:59.040 --> 0:09:01.880 and it is reality. So one must not lose sight 0:09:01.960 --> 0:09:05.160 of the context from which we're speaking. But within that 0:09:05.520 --> 0:09:09.400 the interactions are the real interactions of those participants at 0:09:09.440 --> 0:09:13.040 that moment. Faced with that challenge in that I get 0:09:13.120 --> 0:09:16.400 staged in a relationship and that is something that anybody 0:09:16.440 --> 0:09:19.640 who's watching can identify with and do the compare and 0:09:19.679 --> 0:09:23.080 contrast and have conversations around. So I do think that 0:09:23.080 --> 0:09:26.520 there's a space there that is really potent in terms 0:09:26.559 --> 0:09:30.040 of using it as a tool not only of entertainment, 0:09:30.080 --> 0:09:33.360 but then also have a little self reflection and you know, 0:09:33.520 --> 0:09:37.120 tool gathering and growth that can occur not only for 0:09:37.200 --> 0:09:40.040 the participants, and many of our participants talk about how 0:09:40.120 --> 0:09:43.640 much they've learned in the experience of the experiment, regardless 0:09:43.640 --> 0:09:45.840 of whether they have found love or not, but I 0:09:45.840 --> 0:09:48.080 think that happens also to many people at home, not 0:09:48.160 --> 0:09:51.000 only to the participants going through the experience. 0:09:51.360 --> 0:09:53.320 I've met a lot of ex merit at first site 0:09:53.360 --> 0:09:55.760 people along the way, and I think what's really interesting 0:09:55.800 --> 0:09:59.000 in about there's a common thread that I've noticed when 0:09:59.040 --> 0:10:01.040 I've met them, and it's a little bit of a 0:10:01.040 --> 0:10:03.520 psychologist now in all of them. They're a little bit 0:10:03.559 --> 0:10:06.559 more heightened with them when it comes to relationship, when 0:10:06.559 --> 0:10:10.160 it comes to communication actually, and I've noticed that thread 0:10:10.200 --> 0:10:12.680 over time. You know, we're now sitting with so many 0:10:12.720 --> 0:10:15.679 seasons under our belt, and so many of these people 0:10:15.679 --> 0:10:17.120 have gone out into the world. Do you think that 0:10:17.120 --> 0:10:20.439 that has a lot to do with the three relationship 0:10:20.480 --> 0:10:24.800 experts who can maybe unearth things and make people or 0:10:24.840 --> 0:10:27.880 make them think more about what they're getting themselves involved in. 0:10:28.120 --> 0:10:31.120 Well, I think certainly, I hope that we're able to 0:10:31.240 --> 0:10:34.800 help guide when we see behavior that is not healthy 0:10:34.880 --> 0:10:38.240 or is not serving the participants to their end goal 0:10:38.360 --> 0:10:40.480 that they have voice to us that they're. 0:10:40.520 --> 0:10:41.520 Wanting to achieve. 0:10:42.000 --> 0:10:43.880 Of course, I hope that they're able to take that 0:10:43.920 --> 0:10:47.199 information and that guidance and run with it and make 0:10:47.240 --> 0:10:50.080 the adjustments they need to if they need to. So 0:10:50.200 --> 0:10:53.160 we always hope for that, But it really is their journey, 0:10:53.200 --> 0:10:57.480 and it really is about themselves putting their experience out there, 0:10:57.520 --> 0:10:59.000 and it takes such bravery. 0:10:59.080 --> 0:11:01.000 I don't think hits for anyone. 0:11:01.120 --> 0:11:04.880 I really admire our participants just simply in the sheer 0:11:05.960 --> 0:11:09.080 bravery it takes to allow yourself to put up that 0:11:09.240 --> 0:11:13.360 mirror and look at yourself, not simply in the privacy 0:11:13.480 --> 0:11:17.000 of your home and understanding and having self awareness, but 0:11:17.080 --> 0:11:20.040 in front of the world. So that requires quite the 0:11:20.120 --> 0:11:24.559 amount of confidence and bravery, I believe. But I do 0:11:24.640 --> 0:11:27.160 think it is that they are actually being able to 0:11:27.280 --> 0:11:30.800 see their behavior the things that you don't notice about yourself. 0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:34.040 The camera doesn't miss, so it is there is that 0:11:34.320 --> 0:11:37.560 even in the moments when one feels that one a 0:11:38.040 --> 0:11:39.280 handle the situation, you. 0:11:39.200 --> 0:11:39.880 Don't always know. 0:11:40.000 --> 0:11:43.280 And I always think of in terms of this, and 0:11:43.800 --> 0:11:47.000 even for us as experts, if you're in a relationship 0:11:47.000 --> 0:11:50.120 in real life going to see an expert, a therapist 0:11:50.280 --> 0:11:54.640 or whatnot, that person never sees your actual interaction in 0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:57.280 a fight through a discussion with your partner, unless you 0:11:57.320 --> 0:12:00.000 have a blowout in the session. But for the most part, 0:12:00.120 --> 0:12:02.000 if you're coming in with a crisis, you will be 0:12:02.040 --> 0:12:05.080 telling a story of what happened. It's very different to 0:12:05.080 --> 0:12:07.280 what we get to see here Here. 0:12:07.280 --> 0:12:08.520 It's not simply. 0:12:08.200 --> 0:12:12.720 One imagining how one person gave a look or a glare, 0:12:12.960 --> 0:12:16.120 or the tone or the words or everything that you 0:12:16.160 --> 0:12:18.800 can take in with nonverbals that you see when you're 0:12:18.840 --> 0:12:21.400 actually watching the image with the audio and watching it. 0:12:21.360 --> 0:12:23.840 Play out, and that's what happens in maths. 0:12:24.160 --> 0:12:27.520 So it's much more vivid and it's much more a 0:12:27.559 --> 0:12:30.640 picture of what actually happens, and that can be quite 0:12:30.720 --> 0:12:36.239 confronting when you've never seen yourself under those stressful situations reacting. 0:12:36.720 --> 0:12:38.240 You think about the way in which we are in 0:12:38.280 --> 0:12:40.640 our own relationships as well, and I think that most 0:12:40.720 --> 0:12:42.640 couples will relate to what I'm about to say. But 0:12:42.920 --> 0:12:45.360 in a fight in conflict, you will say, but you 0:12:45.480 --> 0:12:48.880 said this, and then the fight becomes about who said. 0:12:48.800 --> 0:12:52.040 Was yes, And it always turns up as being the inflection. 0:12:52.200 --> 0:12:54.800 To me, it's always hang on a sec you might 0:12:54.840 --> 0:12:57.200 have said that, but the tone is what the tone 0:12:57.240 --> 0:12:58.920 will way, you know what I. 0:12:58.880 --> 0:13:03.000 Mean, on the underlying that I gathered from that little 0:13:03.040 --> 0:13:04.960 inflection in your ConA voice. 0:13:05.120 --> 0:13:07.959 Yes, I've gone down a rabbit hole over that tone 0:13:07.960 --> 0:13:10.160 that you had. And so when I ask you why 0:13:10.160 --> 0:13:12.320 did you say this and you repeat it back to 0:13:12.360 --> 0:13:15.199 me in a different tone, you kind of feel gaslighted. 0:13:15.440 --> 0:13:17.320 And I think that there's a part of all of 0:13:17.400 --> 0:13:19.360 us that would love to have cameras and have the 0:13:19.400 --> 0:13:21.400 ability to play the replay fights. 0:13:21.679 --> 0:13:26.760 Yes, yes, Reefly and the replay would be amazing or 0:13:26.800 --> 0:13:29.400 maybe not, but it is part of it is part 0:13:29.520 --> 0:13:33.880 of this experience here, So it does make it very distinct, 0:13:34.160 --> 0:13:38.800 and I think, yeah, you don't have other experiences in 0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:42.400 television or really in life. For you, you're able to 0:13:42.440 --> 0:13:45.240 be the little mosquito on the wall and begin to 0:13:45.360 --> 0:13:47.679 what other people are doing and how they're doing it. 0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:49.160 So, yeah, what about yourself? 0:13:49.160 --> 0:13:49.319 Though? 0:13:49.360 --> 0:13:51.760 You must grow every season, you must find new ways 0:13:51.800 --> 0:13:55.000 to approach these couples. Was there anything in particular that 0:13:55.040 --> 0:13:58.520 you learned from last year that's helped you that's changed 0:13:58.520 --> 0:14:01.440 the way in which you've turned up for twenty twenty five. 0:14:01.800 --> 0:14:05.360 Yeah, really, it hasn't. I wouldn't say from last year 0:14:05.400 --> 0:14:06.000 to this year. 0:14:06.040 --> 0:14:08.960 I think when I first joined the experiment in twenty 0:14:09.000 --> 0:14:11.680 twenty for the season that aired in twenty twenty one, 0:14:12.120 --> 0:14:16.840 I really think it took the entire experience of filming, 0:14:17.360 --> 0:14:20.000 waiting for production to end, for the show to go 0:14:20.040 --> 0:14:23.040 on air, and waiting for it to be completely wrapped 0:14:23.480 --> 0:14:27.240 for me to really understand the dynamic of what maths meant. 0:14:27.960 --> 0:14:30.720 And I think I've grown and understood it better every year. 0:14:30.920 --> 0:14:32.480 I think it's a matter for. 0:14:32.400 --> 0:14:37.360 Me personally of trusting at face value. For instance, there's 0:14:37.360 --> 0:14:40.360 a lot of talk around what is the motivation for 0:14:40.400 --> 0:14:44.359 our participants to be on the experiment, and I, of course. 0:14:44.120 --> 0:14:48.680 I'm not blind. I don't live in a different planet. 0:14:49.000 --> 0:14:52.160 I know that many people are going to be enthused 0:14:52.200 --> 0:14:54.800 with the popularity of the show and the possibilities for 0:14:54.960 --> 0:15:00.480 careers and whatever social media and exposure can provide. But 0:15:01.320 --> 0:15:04.840 regardless of that, I am enthused with the person in 0:15:04.880 --> 0:15:08.240 front of me who's telling me whatever story they're telling me, 0:15:08.360 --> 0:15:11.560 true or not believe They're not Number one because I 0:15:11.600 --> 0:15:15.080 think if they actually find someone or meet someone that 0:15:15.080 --> 0:15:18.520 they really like, they will lean into the possibility of love. 0:15:18.600 --> 0:15:22.480 Who wouldn't in whatever circumstance that shows up. And number 0:15:22.520 --> 0:15:26.360 two because I think, regardless it's the experience of people watching, 0:15:26.440 --> 0:15:28.880 and if they're going to be themselves and they're going 0:15:28.960 --> 0:15:31.640 to be committed to the experience and they're going. 0:15:31.440 --> 0:15:34.160 To attempt to really take part in. 0:15:34.160 --> 0:15:37.800 The experiment, then that's still going to be helpful even 0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:39.520 for them and this. 0:15:39.640 --> 0:15:41.440 One or future relationships. 0:15:41.480 --> 0:15:44.440 So I don't really focus on motivations because I'm not 0:15:44.480 --> 0:15:48.000 a soothsayer, but I focus at face value on the 0:15:48.040 --> 0:15:50.400 situation in front of me because I know it represents 0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:53.200 a situation of so many other people who will be watching. 0:15:53.600 --> 0:15:55.240 Do you know what I've always wanted to ask you, 0:15:55.440 --> 0:15:57.800 And I'm honestly this is so exciting that I even 0:15:57.840 --> 0:16:00.160 have you to have this conversation, But what do you 0:16:00.200 --> 0:16:04.160 think as a sexologist is the connection between Maretith First 0:16:04.200 --> 0:16:07.680 Sight and then Only Fans, because we've now made that 0:16:08.200 --> 0:16:10.920 such a thing that even in the first episode, one 0:16:10.920 --> 0:16:14.400 of the bride sister husband in her fowls you know, 0:16:14.600 --> 0:16:16.280 I promise you I'm here for love. I'm not here 0:16:16.320 --> 0:16:20.160 for only fans. But there is this connection that's now created, Like, 0:16:20.240 --> 0:16:23.320 what do you think that relationship? Is there a tie 0:16:23.360 --> 0:16:24.600 somehow between the time. 0:16:25.760 --> 0:16:29.920 Well, I don't think the connection is with their sexuality 0:16:30.120 --> 0:16:30.560 at all. 0:16:32.080 --> 0:16:33.000 I think that's just. 0:16:33.320 --> 0:16:36.280 A possible part of what goes on and Only Fans 0:16:36.440 --> 0:16:38.920 and an interesting part for those who want to. 0:16:38.880 --> 0:16:40.400 Make bank through Only Fans. 0:16:40.680 --> 0:16:43.040 And I think what it is is again, it's a 0:16:43.080 --> 0:16:46.800 platform and the opportunity and what some people view as 0:16:46.840 --> 0:16:50.200 a way that they find interesting to put themselves out 0:16:50.200 --> 0:16:52.840 there or make some money. And I think it's totally 0:16:52.920 --> 0:16:55.600 valid for whoever wants to do that. There's a reason 0:16:55.840 --> 0:16:58.640 it exists, and it's a great platform for a lot 0:16:58.680 --> 0:17:01.240 of people. But I don't think it's something that has 0:17:01.280 --> 0:17:04.680 anything to do with the sexuality, because not everybody who's 0:17:04.720 --> 0:17:08.520 on OnlyFans is necessarily playing up the sexuality. Although it 0:17:08.640 --> 0:17:11.000 is quite a popular thing to do on there. 0:17:11.359 --> 0:17:13.960 Absolutely you know before you go, I really wanted to 0:17:14.000 --> 0:17:16.359 ask you as well about the relationship that you have 0:17:16.520 --> 0:17:20.520 with Melan John. How do you describe the dynamics between 0:17:20.560 --> 0:17:21.159 the three of you. 0:17:21.800 --> 0:17:25.600 I think we have so much fun and so much 0:17:25.640 --> 0:17:28.880 respect for each other as professionals, and I would say 0:17:28.880 --> 0:17:32.160 the most important part for me is the respect as professionals. 0:17:32.240 --> 0:17:34.919 I know we have each other's backs. I know how 0:17:35.119 --> 0:17:36.240 when we sit down. 0:17:36.080 --> 0:17:41.920 To discuss, you know, situations or crisis or participants or whatever. 0:17:42.280 --> 0:17:44.520 I can see how their mind is working and it's 0:17:44.640 --> 0:17:45.600 very much aligned. 0:17:45.880 --> 0:17:48.440 And I love that. And they are so fun and so. 0:17:48.600 --> 0:17:53.760 Lovely and just such great co workers and friends after 0:17:53.800 --> 0:17:57.320 all this time, so no, I feel happy and blessed 0:17:57.359 --> 0:17:58.800 to have them as part of the team. 0:17:59.080 --> 0:18:02.359 Do you drink a lot of car fee to stay up? 0:18:02.720 --> 0:18:05.680 I'd like a lot of coffee in regular nice yes. 0:18:05.720 --> 0:18:07.879 And when we're filming, are you kidding? And then I 0:18:07.920 --> 0:18:11.120 get home and especially after like a dinner party, which 0:18:11.119 --> 0:18:15.400 are they're very intense, Yeah, and we're they're like listening 0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:19.200 to everything and it's all blaring in our ears and whatnot. 0:18:19.240 --> 0:18:21.000 I get home and then it's like from the coffee 0:18:21.040 --> 0:18:23.639 to the wine, because you have to somehow like wind 0:18:23.680 --> 0:18:24.119 it down. 0:18:24.359 --> 0:18:26.240 So you've got to wind it down. 0:18:26.840 --> 0:18:30.119 Wind you have to wine it literally wind it down. 0:18:30.160 --> 0:18:32.960 With a hot top bath and like, okay, all right, 0:18:33.240 --> 0:18:35.120 so tomorrow's a new day. 0:18:35.840 --> 0:18:38.240 There's gonna be some nice eye out there. Because we're 0:18:38.359 --> 0:18:39.600 up to season twelve. 0:18:39.680 --> 0:18:41.159 You know, people are going to be talking. 0:18:40.920 --> 0:18:44.240 About couples getting mismatched, and right from the get go 0:18:44.359 --> 0:18:46.719 we see some couples that really struggle. What do you 0:18:46.800 --> 0:18:49.679 have to say about those claims that you know produces 0:18:49.720 --> 0:18:52.600 a mixing people up just to create drama. 0:18:53.000 --> 0:18:57.560 No, that's not my experience. We What I would say 0:18:57.760 --> 0:18:58.280 is that the. 0:18:58.240 --> 0:19:03.720 Production cast very big personalities. So they are very big personalities, 0:19:03.760 --> 0:19:06.320 all because we're doing a reality. 0:19:05.920 --> 0:19:08.879 TV show and to be entertaining. 0:19:09.160 --> 0:19:11.240 So of course the people that are picked to be 0:19:11.280 --> 0:19:13.640 part of the experiment, aside from everything else that they 0:19:13.640 --> 0:19:17.240 have to go through, there also I'm sure considered for 0:19:17.320 --> 0:19:21.120 their personalities and how outspoken they can be or whatnot. 0:19:21.560 --> 0:19:24.960 But aside from that, no, like really the intent is 0:19:25.080 --> 0:19:29.000 for them to potentially get along, and we base it 0:19:29.119 --> 0:19:31.800 off of what the participants tell us. And I think 0:19:31.880 --> 0:19:34.280 I'll tell you this for this season watch out because 0:19:34.359 --> 0:19:36.719 I think the way that they are presenting. 0:19:36.840 --> 0:19:37.720 You see much. 0:19:37.560 --> 0:19:42.960 More what is told to us by the participants about themselves, 0:19:43.040 --> 0:19:45.960 their character, what they want, what they don't want, how 0:19:46.000 --> 0:19:49.640 they would act or not act does not necessarily align 0:19:49.880 --> 0:19:55.560 with what they actually do when confronted with circumstance. So yeah, 0:19:55.600 --> 0:19:57.720 so there's only so much you can do. And again 0:19:57.840 --> 0:20:00.639 I take it at face value and I work with that, 0:20:01.040 --> 0:20:03.600 and then it's up to the participants to. 0:20:03.920 --> 0:20:05.080 Have that a line or not. 0:20:05.440 --> 0:20:07.680 I had a couple from this year, say, the guy 0:20:07.880 --> 0:20:10.160 messaged me on social media to say I'm doing merit 0:20:10.160 --> 0:20:12.440 at first sight and I don't know whether I should quit, 0:20:12.680 --> 0:20:15.040 and I was like, I don't know you as a stranger, 0:20:15.200 --> 0:20:17.359 and we had this conversation about it, and I said, look, 0:20:17.440 --> 0:20:18.800 you know what, you've signed. 0:20:18.600 --> 0:20:19.800 Up to a reality show. 0:20:20.080 --> 0:20:23.000