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Speaker 1: School holidays have commenced right around the Eastern seaboard, or

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Speaker 1: up and down I should say the Eastern Seaboard, with

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Speaker 1: New South Wales, Queensland, the Act and Victoria all taking

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Speaker 1: a well earned break. I guess the holiday spirit is

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Speaker 1: going to be different depending on where you are, though,

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Speaker 1: Queensland is living large and traveling. For those of you

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Speaker 1: who are in the southern jurisdictions. Do you like that word.

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Speaker 1: That's a big word, jurisdiction. The jurisdictions lockdowns continue in

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Speaker 1: various forms, so we extend our sympathies to you. We're

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Speaker 1: fortunately north of the border here in Queensland, so we

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Speaker 1: will be able to enjoy the holiday. In spite of that,

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Speaker 1: we're going to continue the Happy Families podcast and do

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Speaker 1: what we can to bring well being and happiness to

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Speaker 1: your family during the holidays. Oh by the way, I'm justin.

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Speaker 1: I'm here with missus Happy Families, Kylie. I'm the found A.

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Speaker 2: Bit carried away sometimes, don't you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I kind of do every now and again. Well,

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Speaker 1: there's stuff to talk about and people, well, hopefully people

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Speaker 1: know who we are because they've been listening to the

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Speaker 1: podcast for a while. With I'm the founder of Happy

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Speaker 1: Families dot com dot and I've written six books about

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Speaker 1: raising happy families and Kylie, you're the mum to our

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Speaker 1: six baby girls aged from grade one through the moved

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Speaker 1: out and married.

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Speaker 2: Can I jump in with something completely unrelated?

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Speaker 1: Of course, let's do this.

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Speaker 2: I've been a little bit spoiled in the kitchen over

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Speaker 2: the last few nights.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, you have. Okay, before you go on, though,

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Speaker 1: so I need to just make a quick mention. We're

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Speaker 1: doing some work with a company at the moment, and

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Speaker 1: they are sponsoring some of the work that we're doing.

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Speaker 1: But the conversation that I think you're about to have

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Speaker 1: is not sponsored. Okay, so this is like a hashtag

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Speaker 1: sponsored hashtag not sponsored conversation because they are sponsoring some

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Speaker 1: things we're doing, but they're not sponsoring this. They probably

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Speaker 1: don't even know that we're having this conversation. So what

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Speaker 1: were you going to say? And hopefully I'm right now

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Speaker 1: that I've done that big intro.

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Speaker 3: Well, I had a box delivered. That's why my doorstep

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Speaker 3: on Saturday.

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Speaker 1: And second box.

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Speaker 3: Let's be honest, it has revolutionized my kitchen full of food.

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Speaker 2: I didn't want it to I didn't think it would.

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Speaker 3: We've looked at all of the options so many times,

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Speaker 3: and with a family our size, yeah, yeah, yeah, it

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Speaker 3: really just has not been a practical choice.

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Speaker 1: So Hello Fresh is one of the grocery delivery services

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Speaker 1: that are out their meal prep kind of things, and

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Speaker 1: we've looked at them in the supermarkets. We've tried it

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Speaker 1: before and we've just been too expensive. Probably isn't going

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Speaker 1: to be fresh and taste good, and who knows what

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Speaker 1: it's going to be. And we love your cooking anyway.

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Speaker 1: But because they reached out and said, would you do

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Speaker 1: some stuff for us, we said, well, we'll give it

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Speaker 1: a go. And so they're not asking us to have

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Speaker 1: a conversation about this on the podcast. They're getting us

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Speaker 1: to do other things in other places. But I just

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Speaker 1: am so glad that you're feeling the way that you're

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Speaker 1: feeling about it, because I feel the same way as well.

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Speaker 3: I've kind of got to a point after twenty three

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Speaker 3: years in the kitchen and feeding my horde, just I'm

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Speaker 3: not excited about the food that we eat anymore because

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Speaker 3: the kids want the same food. I've been cooking spaghetti

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Speaker 3: bolinaise for twenty three years.

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Speaker 1: And you and I love to explore new food, but

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Speaker 1: every time we do, we end up having a chorus

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Speaker 1: avoids giving. I don't like that that sounds good. This gross,

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Speaker 1: And so we've given Hello Fresh ago and you know what,

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Speaker 1: I so, let's be completely honest. It's not the cheapest

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Speaker 1: way to get food on your plate, but it's not

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Speaker 1: actually much dearer than buying it from the store yourself.

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Speaker 1: And the thing that I love about it is number

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Speaker 1: one fresh recipes, things that we haven't tried before, but

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Speaker 1: they're they're fresh but familiar. Like the kids have eaten

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Speaker 1: literally every single thing we've put on their plate from

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Speaker 1: hellow Fresh.

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Speaker 4: Well.

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Speaker 3: I put some salad dressing one of their salad dress

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Speaker 3: salads the other night. It's such a tiny little sashet.

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Speaker 3: I was like, the kids probably won't notice it too much.

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Speaker 3: And they took a bite and they looked at me

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Speaker 3: and said, did you put salad dressing on this?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: And I said, just a little bit.

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Speaker 1: It's so good.

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Speaker 2: Like their eyes lit up.

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Speaker 1: We've gone through so many years of the kids saying

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Speaker 1: they won't eat anything if there's any dressing.

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Speaker 2: I always have to put it on the side.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, And so they've been eating the food

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Speaker 1: But what I love most about it is we don't

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Speaker 1: have to think about what we're going to eat because

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Speaker 1: the decisions already made, the menu arrives, the portions already

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Speaker 1: cut and ready to go, and it's literally a case

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Speaker 1: of just following the recipe, the meal, the packet. Don't

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Speaker 1: have to go to the grocery store. You said revolutionized.

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Speaker 1: I'm not the one that's doing the hard yards in

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Speaker 1: the kitchen like you do, and I'm feeling like it's

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Speaker 1: revolutionized our lives. I love this thing.

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Speaker 2: I'm so old.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, we're going to continue trying this out, and

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Speaker 1: if you want.

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Speaker 2: To deliver boxes to my doorstep.

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Speaker 1: I will accept anyone that does the work for you.

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Speaker 1: So again, this is a not sponsored conversation. We're just

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Speaker 1: sharing it because we're actually we're genuinely taken by it,

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Speaker 1: and we don't know why we've waited this long.

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Speaker 2: Well I do I have six kids?

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Speaker 1: Okay, Well, there were some practical considerations, but now we've

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Speaker 1: only got four at home and it's working for us. Hey,

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Speaker 1: because it's the school holidays, we really need to get

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Speaker 1: on with the purpose of our podcast. We are going

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Speaker 1: to do our very best to enjoy a break with

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Speaker 1: our kids. For those with families in Sydney and Melbourne,

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Speaker 1: we hope that you're getting a break from homeschooling and

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Speaker 1: maybe just reconnecting and relaxing a bit with your children.

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Speaker 1: So over the next two weeks we're going to have

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Speaker 1: a little bit of time off with our girls. But

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Speaker 1: we wanted to keep you connected with some of our

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Speaker 1: favorite episodes from this year.

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Speaker 2: Episode one and ninety five. Yeses, it's a chore.

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Speaker 1: It's a chore.

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Speaker 3: But in this episode we answered a listener question about

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Speaker 3: that challenge that so many parents face, how to get

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Speaker 3: the kids to do their chores.

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Speaker 4: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the

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Speaker 4: time poor parent who just wants answers.

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Speaker 1: Now, make sure that the tasks are developmentally appropriate. There's

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Speaker 1: no point asking the six year old bluepack the dishwasher

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Speaker 1: if she can't reach into the cupboard where the cups go,

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Speaker 1: because it's up too high and she's going to have

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Speaker 1: to climb on the bench and there's a chance that

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Speaker 1: she's going to fall and break everything.

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Speaker 4: And now here's the stars of our show, My Mum

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Speaker 4: and Dad.

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Speaker 1: Today. This is doctor Justin Colson, the author of six

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Speaker 1: books about how to raise happy families. I'm here with Kylie,

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Speaker 1: my wife and co host, podcast partner, and mum to

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Speaker 1: our six daughters. I got given a bit of grief

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Speaker 1: after something that happened on the podcast last Friday. Without

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Speaker 1: our older Better Tomorrow. I thought I was being a

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Speaker 1: great dad, not expecting that.

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Speaker 3: Well, we did get some feedback the guns and roses

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Speaker 3: might not have been the best choice for motivating the kids.

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Speaker 1: So if you missed it, here's what happened. I got

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Speaker 1: cranky and I said, fair income. You know, your kids

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Speaker 1: are ungrateful, and I'm working my backside off and we've

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Speaker 1: got bills and I'm stressed out of my brain and

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Speaker 1: you can't even watch some dishes, and we worked so

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Speaker 1: hard for you, and I really sort of laid the

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Speaker 1: guilt on. And then I felt bad because they all came,

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Speaker 1: you know, sullen faced into the kitchen and picked up

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Speaker 1: details and started to clean up, and I said, oh, look,

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Speaker 1: music always makes our family happier. Tonight, we're going to

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Speaker 1: do some music appreciation, which which music appreciation really means

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Speaker 1: I'm going to play music that I like and you

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Speaker 1: kids going to appreciate it. And so I put on

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Speaker 1: some guns and Roses, Yes you did, which you didn't appreciate.

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Speaker 5: So I cranked up Paradise City, you know, take me

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Speaker 5: down to the parents, and I was just thinking this

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Speaker 5: is great, and then Membraine came on and I was

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Speaker 5: rocking out to Novemberrain and it really lifted my mood.

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Speaker 3: Well it did, and it actually sped the kids dishwashing

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Speaker 3: up because they wanted to get out of there as

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Speaker 3: fast as they didn't.

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Speaker 1: Lift anybody else's it. Everyone else was cranky as anything.

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Speaker 1: See now I don't think that that's that big of

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Speaker 1: a deal, but you know, I mean when you listen

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Speaker 1: to this, doesn't it make you feel like doing the dishes?

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Speaker 1: I mean, really, you know where this is going, so

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Speaker 1: you're loving it, You're smiling, you're into it. Bit of

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Speaker 1: Gunners and all of a sudden, everyone's in the kitchen

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Speaker 1: having fun. But we got feedback that somebody didn't think

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Speaker 1: it would work with their daughters. With the gunners singing

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Speaker 1: Paradise City, you're not into it. You've lost I've lost,

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Speaker 1: I've completely lost year.

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Speaker 3: Well, you know, I had to listen to it on

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Speaker 3: Friday night in the kitchen.

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Speaker 1: Did the kitchen get tidy? That's what I want to

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Speaker 1: know did the kitchen get tidy?

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Speaker 2: It did take a long time.

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Speaker 1: We were dancing, We're having fun. The energy was rate.

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Speaker 1: I still stand by the fact that if you get

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Speaker 1: music involved in the chores and everything that happens there,

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Speaker 1: you're always going to have a better time.

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Speaker 3: Look in your defense, you have listened to Disney Music

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Speaker 3: Channel for about I don't know, twenty years part.

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Speaker 1: Of your world the Little Mermaid, I mean high school.

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Speaker 1: I've gone through so many Disney princess songs it's ridiculous, and.

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Speaker 3: I think it is time that you, you know, let

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Speaker 3: your hair down a little bit.

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Speaker 2: All right.

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Speaker 1: So we got the feedback from somebody who said, my

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Speaker 1: kids just would not tolerate guns and roses. They'd be

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Speaker 1: out of the room and I'd be doing the kitchen

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Speaker 1: on my own, which probably isn't going to be the

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Speaker 1: worst thing in the world. But we also received some

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Speaker 1: listener feedback. Somebody just had a challenging question for us,

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Speaker 1: and I thought we'd answer that today.

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Speaker 3: Christina is from the Hills District in Northwest Sydney and

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Speaker 3: she has a tricky question for us. Okay, guys, I've

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Speaker 3: got four kids ten, eight, six, and four and I

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Speaker 3: just can't get them to their chores.

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Speaker 1: I'm really polling my hair out. What have you been

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Speaker 1: doing to try to get them to do their So.

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Speaker 3: We've found rewards charts and pocket money incentives and peter

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Speaker 3: out and lose interest. Christina, we've actually found the same

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Speaker 3: thing in our family. We had a really awesome conversation

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Speaker 3: with Alfie Cone on the podcast recently about this very

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Speaker 3: thing and how rewards just undermine our kids intrinsic motivation

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Speaker 3: to do things.

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Speaker 1: So we'll actually link to those podcast episodes because Alfie,

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Speaker 1: world famous author, has written some incredible books, including Punished

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Speaker 1: by Rewards. He actually talks about why we shouldn't be

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Speaker 1: trying rewards charts to get kids to do their chores,

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Speaker 1: so we'll link to that. We've obviously found the same

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Speaker 1: thing in our family, which is why we don't do that.

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Speaker 1: But you know what we have found does work really

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Speaker 1: well is the chor chart.

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Speaker 3: And we've tried lots of different ways of doing that

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Speaker 3: short chart, haven't we, And some of it.

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Speaker 1: Has been absolutely painful. But when you've got a chorre

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Speaker 1: chart that ticks a handful of boxes, it seems that

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Speaker 1: that's going to be a more effective way to get

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Speaker 1: chores done than offering bribes and rewards and all of

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Speaker 1: the drama that's involved in trying to make that happen.

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Speaker 1: I guess it's the same sort of thing with pocket money.

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Speaker 1: We've got My very first or maybe my second podcast

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Speaker 1: episode ever was about pocket money. We'll link to that

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Speaker 1: as well in the show notes. But if you go

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Speaker 1: all the way back through the archives to the very beginning,

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Speaker 1: I've talked a lot about why we shouldn't be linking

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Speaker 1: pocket money with chores now. Scott Paper, wrote the Barefoot Investor,

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Speaker 1: he disagrees with me. He thinks that it's supposed to

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Speaker 1: be linked very clearly, that you get money for having

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Speaker 1: done a good job. But for us, in our family,

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Speaker 1: we've found that if you're part of the family, you

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Speaker 1: do chores because you've made the mess and now you're

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Speaker 1: going to clean it up. You know, you've eaten the dinner,

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Speaker 1: so now you're going to help clean it up, and

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Speaker 1: we're not going to pay you for that.

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Speaker 3: Well, I guess it only seems fair if you're going

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Speaker 3: to pay the children to do the jobs.

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Speaker 2: Can I get some money too?

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't mind that. That'd be creative. I could get

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Speaker 1: paid for mowing my own law and I wouldn't mind

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Speaker 1: that at all. So so chort chats worked really well.

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Speaker 1: And the other thing with chort charts, we had a

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Speaker 1: conversation with our children. We sat down and had what

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Speaker 1: we would call like a family meeting, and we said, guys,

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Speaker 1: we've got to have a talk about chores. Nothing face.

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Speaker 2: And we have those regularly.

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Speaker 1: We do. We have around every week, not quite but

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Speaker 1: almost every week, and we talk about chores. And we

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Speaker 1: had this conversation, it's not working. What are we going

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Speaker 1: to do? So one of the kids suggested, why don't

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Speaker 1: we divide the house into sections and each person will

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Speaker 1: just be responsible for their own section. And that worked

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Speaker 1: really well for a while. We worked out what the

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Speaker 1: tasks were in each section and they took care of that.

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Speaker 1: And then one of the others came up with another

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Speaker 1: idea as well.

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Speaker 3: They wanted to rotate the chores. So, you know, one

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Speaker 3: week they.

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Speaker 1: Looked, after my section is so boring, I hate my section.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to do this job. I want to

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Speaker 1: do your job. So yeah, they.

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Speaker 3: Complain to me, the grass is always greener on the

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Speaker 3: other side, even scrubbing the tool.

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Speaker 2: It seems better than having to do whatever their job is.

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Speaker 1: So rotating the chores based on the chore chart each

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Speaker 1: section rather than each person had a chore chart and

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Speaker 1: they would just rotate from section to section. That worked

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Speaker 1: really well for a while as well.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but I think the one that works best for

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Speaker 3: us is actually the kids each have their own chur

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Speaker 3: chart and it actually individually just lists the chores that

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Speaker 3: they are required to do every day. And it's simple

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Speaker 3: things like, you know, make your own bed and put

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Speaker 3: your clothes away, and so it's got all of those

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Speaker 3: everyday tasks as well as the jobs that they would

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Speaker 3: need to do maybe once a week some of them,

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Speaker 3: some of them are three times a week, and they

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Speaker 3: can kind of visually see it in one space instead

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Speaker 3: of having to see, okay, well I'm doing this, but

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Speaker 3: you know, my sister's doing this, and yeah, it kind

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Speaker 3: of uncomplicates it for them, and I think that that's

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Speaker 3: the one that's really worked the best.

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Speaker 1: You know, what we might do will link to the

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Speaker 1: chor chart that we've got for each of our kids

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Speaker 1: in the show notes as well, so people who want

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Speaker 1: to download it, you're going to need PowerPoint on your

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Speaker 1: computer because We've designed it in PowerPoint and there's lots

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Speaker 1: of pretty boxes and lots of pretty colors. But the

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Speaker 1: children have responded really, really well to that. As a

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Speaker 1: general rule, it's not perfect, but it's been one of

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Speaker 1: the best things that we've done. There's a couple of

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Speaker 1: other things that we've done that I think will change

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Speaker 1: the game for every family when it comes to chores,

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Speaker 1: and a couple of principles that underlie getting the chores right.

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Speaker 1: So that we can help Christina and everyone else with

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Speaker 1: this challenge.

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Speaker 2: Can we talk about that after the row.

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Speaker 4: It's their Happy Families podcast.

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Speaker 1: For a happier family, Try a Happy Families membership, because

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Speaker 1: a happy family doesn't just happen. Details at happy families

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00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:23,240
Speaker 1: dot com dot au. It's the Happy Families Podcast, the

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Speaker 1: podcast for the time poor parent who just wants answers.

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Speaker 1: Now we're talking chores and how to get the kids

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Speaker 1: to get stuff done. We've got a couple of absolute winners,

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Speaker 1: things that invariably lead to success.

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Speaker 3: My favorite is the ten minute tidy.

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Speaker 1: So describe the ten minute tidy for the uninitiated. I

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Speaker 1: love it as well. It's always a winner for our family.

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Speaker 1: Oh sorry, not always, but ninety nine percent of the time.

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Speaker 1: It just works well.

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Speaker 3: The great thing about the ten minute tidy is it

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Speaker 3: has a limit. It has a time limit to it,

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Speaker 3: and so the kids know they have ten minutes. And

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Speaker 3: the way we've actually timed that ten minutes and it's

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Speaker 3: you know.

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Speaker 2: It's not true through ten minutes.

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Speaker 1: It's rough.

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Speaker 3: It's a rough. It's three songs. So we line up

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Speaker 3: our top three energizer bunny songs that we can listen

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Speaker 3: to and we pump that music.

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Speaker 2: At full blast.

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Speaker 1: The neighbors hate it when we're doing our ten minutes

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Speaker 1: tidy because it's loud, and you know, every now and again,

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Speaker 1: I get a bit sneaky. And because I used to

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Speaker 1: be a radio and aszer, I know how long a

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Speaker 1: lot of the really good songs are. And so I'll

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Speaker 1: be like, man, the house is not going to get

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Speaker 1: done in ten minutes. So I'll put in like an

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Speaker 1: eight minute song.

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Speaker 2: You have done that once.

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Speaker 1: It's just three songs, guys, but one of those songs

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Speaker 1: goes for eight minutes. That guarantees we're going to get

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Speaker 1: at least fifteen minutes of good quality tiding. So and

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Speaker 1: I think that highlights something else, and that is that music.

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Speaker 1: I mean, we were talking about guns and Roses before.

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Speaker 1: Maybe guns and Roses isn't for everybody, and to be honest,

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Speaker 1: I'm not even that into them anymore. But what it

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Speaker 1: does do is it provides a level of energy and

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Speaker 1: it brings everyone together and it creates fun around the chores,

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Speaker 1: and the chores get done because we're number one together,

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Speaker 1: number two having fun, and number three we've got the music.

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Speaker 1: So that's one of the strategies that we use that

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Speaker 1: really works tremendously well.

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Speaker 3: And my number two favorite is all in. And the

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Speaker 3: one thing I love about all in is that there's

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Speaker 3: actually no time limit to it, and it always includes

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Speaker 3: music because we put the music on and there's just

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Speaker 3: an energy that comes with music.

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Speaker 2: But all in.

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Speaker 3: Means that everybody just chips and until the job's done.

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Speaker 3: And most of the time, all in is our dinner.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we've did it, very very rarely invoked the all

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Speaker 1: in cry except straight after dinner and the kids just

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Speaker 1: know we'll be having dinner or were having our evening

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Speaker 1: conversation and then I'll let everyone know, hey, guys, once

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Speaker 1: dinner's done, it's all in. And there's a couple of

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Speaker 1: kids that roll their eyes like bo and then you know,

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Speaker 1: as soon as dinner's over, at least two of them

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Speaker 1: always have to go to the bathroom right then, at

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Speaker 1: least at least two. But they always sort of come

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Speaker 1: back because there's music and there's conversation, and it's all

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Speaker 1: in and the table's cleared, and the benches are cleared

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Speaker 1: and the dishes are put away and all in again,

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Speaker 1: getting chores done. When you're doing it in a united way,

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Speaker 1: when people are all together, it just makes it happen.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't work for everybody all the time. You can't

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Speaker 1: always do it like that, but when you can, my goodness,

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Speaker 1: it makes a difference.

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Speaker 3: And what I love about it the most is that

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Speaker 3: even though every now and again, let's face it, lots

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Speaker 3: of times there's one or two cranky children in the process,

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Speaker 3: there are conversations that just happen as we work side

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Speaker 3: by side that wouldn't happen if you put the kids

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Speaker 3: to bed so that you could have some quiet time

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Speaker 3: at the sink.

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Speaker 1: Or just staring at the TV watching some Netflix or

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Speaker 1: whatever it might be.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and I've really loved watching the kids kind of

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Speaker 3: connect in that space as they work side by side.

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Speaker 2: And I really love watching the kids connect.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah. So one of the challenges that we

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Speaker 1: have is that the house gets messy through the week

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Speaker 1: and even though we've got chores happening and we're trying

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Speaker 1: to stay on top of it, by the time we

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Speaker 1: get to the weekend, the reality is it's not at

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Speaker 1: the standard that we wish that it could be. The

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Speaker 1: weekend tidy is a really big deal, and we try

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Speaker 1: to do it not too often, but it has to

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Speaker 1: be done from time to time. But we've also sacrificed

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Speaker 1: so many Saturday mornings to the God of clean surfaces,

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Speaker 1: and I just don't really like worshiping it that altar,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like Saturday is meant to

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Speaker 1: be to the extent that it's possible. I know, not

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Speaker 1: everyone can. Some people have got to work on Saturdays,

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Speaker 1: and we've been there for years as well, But most

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Speaker 1: of the time now we get Saturdays off, and yet

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Speaker 1: we still find ourselves cleaning. So what have we done

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Speaker 1: that you can think of that's actually been really great

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Speaker 1: for getting the big clean done on the weekend.

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Speaker 3: I think the most important thing when it comes to

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Speaker 3: a weekend clean is having a time frame and telling

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Speaker 3: the kids. All right, we've got a couple of really

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Speaker 3: big jobs. If we all knuckle down and work together,

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Speaker 3: we'll have this done in an hour.

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Speaker 2: Two hours.

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Speaker 3: Whatever it is that you deem is appropriate, and then

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Speaker 3: you actually honor that. I think that's the most important.

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Speaker 3: This is their kids. This is the kid's weekend as

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Speaker 3: much as it's yours. And if we just get so

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Speaker 3: narrow minded, and you know.

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Speaker 1: I've got to finish the game. I've done the garage,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to do the shed. And while you know,

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Speaker 1: while I'm doing the shed, you're inside doing the bedrooms

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Speaker 1: and were scrubbing the walls, and all of a sudden,

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Speaker 1: it's become an entire spring plan. That's not fair.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and we.

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Speaker 3: Lose, we lose the positive vibe that can come from

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Speaker 3: working together. It becomes a real drain on everybody. And

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Speaker 3: the reality is after a big week for all of us,

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Speaker 3: we actually need some downtime. I think it's really important

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Speaker 3: for us as families to recognize that. And so the

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Speaker 3: things that have worked really well for us as we've

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Speaker 3: given a time limit, we've told the kids in advance, so.

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Speaker 1: They here are the chores we're doing in that time.

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Speaker 1: And if we don't get it all done. We don't,

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Speaker 1: but you've got to work honestly during that time.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and we don't wake them up with the list,

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Speaker 3: so they know before they go to bed the night

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Speaker 3: before that tomorrow morning, mom and dad are going to

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Speaker 3: wake you up at this time.

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Speaker 2: We're going to work hard and fast.

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Speaker 1: We're all in the garden. We're going to pull the

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Speaker 1: weeds for an hour, and then we're going to go

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Speaker 1: and have fun.

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Speaker 3: And that's it. It's the fun at the other end.

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Speaker 3: So whether it be you know, milkshakes for everybody or

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Speaker 3: head down to the beach, I think that it's really

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Speaker 3: important that we just give ourselves that time to rejuvenate.

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Speaker 1: In spite of all of the ideas that we've just shared,

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00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,480
Speaker 1: all of the tips and tricks, it can still be

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00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:14,520
Speaker 1: tricky and sometimes you can't get chores happening together. Sometimes

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00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:18,480
Speaker 1: it's not convenient playing music. Sometimes the things that we've

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00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:21,480
Speaker 1: shared won't work. Sometimes even the chor chart doesn't work.

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Speaker 1: And I think that there are three key principles that

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Speaker 1: we always need to remember when it comes to chores. First, one,

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Speaker 1: have a family meeting with the kids, like actually sit

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Speaker 1: down and talk about it. Work it out together and

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00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:35,800
Speaker 1: explain what you expect, but then listen to them and

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00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:38,280
Speaker 1: explore their world and then empower them to come up

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Speaker 1: with a solution.

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Speaker 2: And I think that's key involving them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the more involved the children are and putting together

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Speaker 1: the chore charts or the chores lists or the plans

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00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:48,879
Speaker 1: for chores, the more likely it is that they'll stick.

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Speaker 1: The second critical thing consistency. So we've built chor charts

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00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:58,040
Speaker 1: over the years, but if we don't stay on it

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Speaker 1: on a daily and a weekly basis, it kind of

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00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,120
Speaker 1: falls in a heap, right, Yeah, and two weeks ago

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00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,400
Speaker 1: and by and we're like, nobody's cleaned the toilet, what's

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00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:08,240
Speaker 1: going on? Oh?

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Speaker 2: Can I guess what number three is?

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Speaker 1: Then? Sure?

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00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:11,399
Speaker 3: Is it?

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Speaker 2: Accountability?

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00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:15,880
Speaker 1: Well, accountability and consistency are kind of the same thing. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm saying, be consistent in your expectation and be consistent

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Speaker 1: in keeping the kids accountable because if you don't do that, yeah,

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00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:25,720
Speaker 1: you're on the right line. The other thing that I

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00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:27,280
Speaker 1: was going to say for number three, though, is make

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Speaker 1: sure that the tasks are developmentally appropriate, because there's no

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00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:33,639
Speaker 1: point asking the six year old one pack the dishwasher

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Speaker 1: if she can't reach into the cupboard where the cups

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00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,760
Speaker 1: go because it's up too high, and she's going to

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00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:40,400
Speaker 1: have to climb on the bench and there's a chance

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00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,439
Speaker 1: that she's going to fall and break everything, and you know,

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00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:45,040
Speaker 1: they'll be blood or anything. We want to make sure

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00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:48,280
Speaker 1: that the tasks that we're giving the children are developmentally appropriate.

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Speaker 3: But the six year old actually loves scrubbing the toilet.

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Speaker 1: Who wouldn't have thought. And then of course we've got

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00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,000
Speaker 1: our ten year old who has a really big sook

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00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,919
Speaker 1: because she wants to mow the lawn, but she's actually

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00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:00,800
Speaker 1: not quite big enough to manage the lawn mower at

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Speaker 1: this point, and so the thirteen year old and he's, look,

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Speaker 1: that's my job.

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Speaker 3: So she's never actually pushed the lawn mower in ash.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so chores are a bit of a challenge. But Christina,

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Speaker 1: we hope that that's been really helpful. We really hope

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00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:14,480
Speaker 1: that you enjoy the podcast and you get loads out

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00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,400
Speaker 1: of it. If you do, could you please jump onto

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00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:18,600
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts and leave a rating and review so that

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00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:20,520
Speaker 1: everyone else can find out about the podcast and we

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00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:22,159
Speaker 1: can spread the word and help everyone to make their

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00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:24,800
Speaker 1: families happier. We really appreciate the good work done by

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00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,359
Speaker 1: Justin Ruland from Bridge Media who produces the podcast, and

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00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:30,240
Speaker 1: our executive producer is Craig Bruce. If you'd like more

503
00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:33,920
Speaker 1: information about how to make your families happier flourishing, all

504
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:37,040
Speaker 1: you need to do is jump onto the Happy Family's website.

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00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:39,320
Speaker 1: Look up everything that you can find about the Happy

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00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:42,360
Speaker 1: Families memberships. We think you'll find them amazing. The details

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00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:45,040
Speaker 1: or at happy families dot com dot au