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Speaker 1: Well, the pot everyone your questions dms on Instagram. You've

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Speaker 1: got a question for us. We have to answer your questions. Will. Yesterday,

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Speaker 1: I was telling you what I most look forward to

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Speaker 1: in life?

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Speaker 2: Have you made notes for this?

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Speaker 3: Uh? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Wow?

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Speaker 2: What do you most look forward to? Him?

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Speaker 3: I had to write him down.

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Speaker 1: Okay, how many of you got We've only got ten minutes.

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Speaker 3: No, no, no, Like I had to.

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Speaker 2: I had to think.

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Speaker 3: I had to really think about it because you took

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Speaker 3: my daughter away from me. I didn't take your daughter, Tom.

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Speaker 3: He took my daughter away from me yesterday. It was

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Speaker 3: like you can't talk about your daughter.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, fair, because it's like obvious, it is obvious.

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Speaker 2: It is obvious.

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Speaker 3: So I find this question really difficult. At the moment,

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Speaker 3: he's snipping Sam Pellegrino.

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Speaker 1: By the way, if you're an image of Will's his

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Speaker 1: feet up on the desk and he's sipping sand pellogrina.

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Speaker 3: Wearing woolen woolen line, birkenstocks, beige pants and I'm drinking

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Speaker 3: sand pello greenom spill it on himself in a green niche.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I didn't notice that? That was pretty fun?

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Speaker 3: Ah?

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Speaker 2: Cover it? Well?

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Speaker 3: Now, look, your pricks have taken my daughter away, and

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Speaker 3: now you're making fun of me. Would you like to

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Speaker 3: hear my answer?

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Speaker 2: Yes or not? You don't have to hear my mister.

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Speaker 3: Peller Greener, it's sand to you, son's butler green or anyway,

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Speaker 3: so your sands I put your sands peller Greener in.

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Speaker 3: I find this tricky to answer, because what do you

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Speaker 3: get most excited for in life? I've been very difficult

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Speaker 3: to answer because I have a real tendency to take

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Speaker 3: things that I get excited about and turn them into

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Speaker 3: things that I can achieve at. Yes, sure, and then

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Speaker 3: that becomes something that I then don't get excited about,

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Speaker 3: and it becomes like a pressure, it becomes a burden

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Speaker 3: for me. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so yeah, And I'm just in that mindset at

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Speaker 2: the moment.

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Speaker 3: I've been in that mind state firm a few weeks,

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Speaker 3: and I find it I'm really finding it hard to

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Speaker 3: do things without making them like I need to get

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Speaker 3: I don't need to get something out of this. So

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Speaker 3: with that in mind, and given that you stole my

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Speaker 3: daughter from me, I because well the reason I keep

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Speaker 3: mentioning that is because she is the purest sense of

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Speaker 3: something that I can get excited for. Because there's no

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Speaker 3: goal there that it's all nothing I can measure myself against,

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Speaker 3: which is for people that hate children like Tom hard

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Speaker 3: for them to understand. And I think that I understand

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Speaker 3: when I didn't have kids, and iould look at people

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Speaker 3: who talk.

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Speaker 2: About their kids, they'd be like, shut up.

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Speaker 3: I totally understand that. But it is it really like

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Speaker 3: one of the great joys of children is having this

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Speaker 3: thing that is just like we can just lie on

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Speaker 3: a rug together and stare at each other and that

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Speaker 3: is the best time that we could possibly have together.

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Speaker 3: So there's no there's no way to measure it.

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Speaker 1: Children are very good at just finding the joy and

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Speaker 1: things and not worrying about it.

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Speaker 3: So that is genuinely something that I get excited for.

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Speaker 3: So the other thing, so if I'm just talking purely

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Speaker 3: about enjoyment, I there there's not all that many things

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Speaker 3: that I that I get really excited for. But one

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Speaker 3: of them is probably surfing, because I that is that

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Speaker 3: is just raw fun. There's also nothing for me to

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Speaker 3: measure myself against in that either.

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Speaker 1: Do you not get into like a I stood up

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Speaker 1: I did well, I did a wave well.

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Speaker 3: I used to, but I couldn't stand up but now

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Speaker 3: that I stand up consistently, it's just like wow. And

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Speaker 3: because the rides are always so different, Yeah, it's just fun.

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Speaker 3: There's no like there's And also the other thing I

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Speaker 3: realized when surfing, and this is a common misconception people

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Speaker 3: that want to start surfing, is when you start surfing,

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Speaker 3: you paddle out thinking everyone's watching you, and then over

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Speaker 3: time you realize no one gives shit. You can catch

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Speaker 3: the best way of your life and no one's watching.

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Speaker 3: You can catch the worst way of your life and

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Speaker 3: no one's watching.

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Speaker 1: Small Boy in San Sebastian was laughing at me when

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Speaker 1: I was surfing.

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Speaker 3: If you're really shit, then yeah people watch, and no doubt.

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Speaker 1: He was trying to teach me, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: you're making it worse, mate.

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Speaker 3: You're twelve. I'm like twenty five years old. Children's surfing

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Speaker 3: is humbling, and.

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Speaker 1: He was trying to teach me how to paddle with

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Speaker 1: a language baron. He was like, no, no, you've got

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Speaker 1: a pout and I was like, stop doing it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, worse, you're making it worse, bro.

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Speaker 3: So I've tried to approach this. So there's surfing, and

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Speaker 3: that's a pure fun activity. All the other activities can

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Speaker 3: become things that I feel as if I need to

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Speaker 3: do well at, which becomes burdensome. So I've approached this

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Speaker 3: pretty broadly with just what I'm going to say is

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Speaker 3: what do I get most excited for in life at

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Speaker 3: the moment, And the way that I'm trying to approach

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Speaker 3: it is just time I get excited about having.

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Speaker 2: I'm the concept of time.

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Speaker 1: My God, when I thought you couldn't get more boring,

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Speaker 1: what is a minute?

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Speaker 3: No, I get excited about a block of time now

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Speaker 3: because I'm trying not to fill that with because when

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Speaker 3: my brain gets like this, in this like achievement made thing,

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Speaker 3: I will look at a block of time and I

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Speaker 3: will fill it really quickly with things that I have

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Speaker 3: to do.

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Speaker 2: What are you doing tonight? Currently?

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Speaker 3: Nothing? It's block of time. But that's been imposed on

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Speaker 3: me by my current housemate Cody.

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Speaker 2: Do you have couch cushion?

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Speaker 3: Because I was going to get home and I've got

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Speaker 3: a song that I need to mix down and I

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Speaker 3: was like, I'm gonna get home and do that, and

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Speaker 3: she was like, Nah, you're just coming home at this.

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Speaker 2: Time, and how will she enforce it?

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Speaker 3: Because she's just going to say, well, right now, I'm

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Speaker 3: not allowed to make a plan because she's like we

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Speaker 3: might have dinner together, and she's kind of like imposed

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Speaker 3: this thing over me that I might have to.

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Speaker 1: And then will she be like if you go like

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Speaker 1: wander off and go I'm just gonna go to the

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Speaker 1: bathroom and like keep the door open so I know

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Speaker 1: you're going to duck out there, you're going to mix

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Speaker 1: a track, and you're gonna run a chapter of your book,

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Speaker 1: and then you're going to solve something. Is she gonna

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Speaker 1: be how do you stop your mind?

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Speaker 2: He's a good question.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So it's great that she's done that because I

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Speaker 1: think it's she knows you very well and she'd know

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Speaker 1: how important that is. How will you stop your mind

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Speaker 1: going to for example, thinking about the radio show tomorrow

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Speaker 1: or thinking about the book or that. Because it's one

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Speaker 1: thing to not be physically doing it, it's a whole

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Speaker 1: other thing that not me mentally.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that is that can be really tricky, and that,

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Speaker 3: honestly is the thing that will lead me to You've

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Speaker 3: hit the nail on the head. That is definitely the

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Speaker 3: thing that will lead me to breakdown. It's like, I'll

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Speaker 3: know age is out that I'm going I'm heading for

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Speaker 3: a breakdown because I'll know that in the spare minutes

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Speaker 3: in my day, like I cannot be.

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Speaker 2: Present, you're thinking about it.

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Speaker 3: I'm solving something that's happening in two weeks.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, And I like a.

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Speaker 3: Be in a shower and I'll be like, oh my god,

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Speaker 3: I'm doing this thing again.

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Speaker 2: Do you really want to know?

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Speaker 3: Do you really want like do you want to know specifically?

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Speaker 1: Like do you have like if you have a process? Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think it. I mean, if you feel comfortable sharing

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Speaker 1: just because I think there's other people like you, should

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Speaker 1: we go to the sponsors.

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Speaker 2: It's a great time to go to great product, great people.

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Speaker 3: So one of the probably a few things there's no

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Speaker 3: there's no solve all, but like do something that you

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Speaker 3: do love doing and you can't escape it. That's kind

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Speaker 3: of immersive. So surfing, surfing, see a movie, Yeah, yeah, awesome. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: Like I've got a little a little kind of like

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Speaker 3: quasi home cinema set up at home, and it's like

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Speaker 3: it's very it's immersive, So I can't think in there exercise.

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Speaker 2: Does that work for you? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: It does, But again, it's got to be pretty like blitz. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: because if I'm jogging, I'm thinking. Yeah, you know, so

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Speaker 3: it's got to be like an intense probably yoga setsh

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Speaker 3: or yeah, yoga's good actually, yeah, because yoga gotta focus

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Speaker 3: on your breath and if you lose your breath, then

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Speaker 3: you lose the rhythm.

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Speaker 2: Oh that's great.

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Speaker 3: So you catches very mindful activity.

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Speaker 2: It's great like that.

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Speaker 3: Swimming also really good. Swimming, Yeah, really yeah, because swimming

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Speaker 3: thinking during Even if I'm thinking during swimming, then my

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Speaker 3: stroke becomes sloppy and then my time gets bad.

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Speaker 2: My strokes always sloppy. I need to confirm that.

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Speaker 3: It's like a drown He's like a drowning frog.

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Speaker 1: I was swimming months and a friend saw me and

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Speaker 1: and he tapped me on the shout and I got

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Speaker 1: to the end of the laugh and he goes hilarious,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, what's hilarious? And he's like, what's

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Speaker 1: what the gag? And I was like, what are you

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Speaker 1: talking about? It's like, well, you're obviously joking about the

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Speaker 1: way he's from. And I was like genuinely.

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Speaker 2: Thought I was swimming.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's really bad. I don't know what

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Speaker 1: to do wrong anyway.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, you can find a nervous actors intervenience like that.

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Speaker 3: Don't worry, that's an old insurance insurance law term. But

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Speaker 3: I just like I just like you guys thinking I'm

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Speaker 3: enough of a dickhead that like I can just keep

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Speaker 3: your arms length.

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Speaker 2: That's great.

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Speaker 3: But the I think that the and this is this

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Speaker 3: is tricky. But no matter what you have in your

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Speaker 3: head that afflicts you, whether it's self loathing, planning for

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Speaker 3: the future of your problem solver like me, anxiety, depression, whatever,

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Speaker 3: that is, all of that exists in and around your head, right,

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Speaker 3: And the way that you are going to make that

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Speaker 3: worse for yourself is by trying to attack that at

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Speaker 3: your head right, try and think about ways to solve that.

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Speaker 3: In your head you're just pouring petrol on the fire.

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Speaker 3: So all of the things that we just spoke about,

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Speaker 3: apart from all of them, take your attention from your

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Speaker 3: headspace somewhere else.

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Speaker 2: What about movie?

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Speaker 3: Take it into the movie.

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Speaker 2: Oh is, and the attention is in the movie.

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Speaker 3: Attentions, attentions in your breath. So if I am and again,

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Speaker 3: you just have to remember to do this. But the

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Speaker 3: thing that I have found most relieving is the most

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Speaker 3: simple thing in the whole world, which is just moving

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Speaker 3: my attention from my head to my body. Yeah, what

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Speaker 3: about what about your attentions in your body? It's concrete

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Speaker 3: your head is it's like watching a cinema roll the

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Speaker 3: whole time. Whereas if your attentions in your body, and

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Speaker 3: that's so simple, that's just like what do I feel?

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Speaker 2: Like, what is my feel?

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Speaker 3: The pressure in your legs when you sit down, and

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Speaker 3: all those sorts of things like it's and it can

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Speaker 3: only and on the SDV for like half a second

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Speaker 3: to break the cycle, and it's quite relieving every time

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Speaker 3: it happens.

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Speaker 1: What are your thoughts on like actually, like because I

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Speaker 1: find on it if I write down whatever, whatever the

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Speaker 1: thing is, that's like just like that thing is just

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Speaker 1: not going away when you write it down.

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Speaker 2: Does that help you at all?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 3: And and this is like there's a guy called Oliver

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Speaker 3: Berkman who I've spoken about.

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Speaker 2: Before, who who wrote.

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Speaker 3: A book called Time Management for Mere Mortals, and his

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Speaker 3: whole thesis is on the fact that like, again, if

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Speaker 3: you write it down, you're engaging any thoughts.

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Speaker 1: Yes, but it's like a choice too, and then you

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Speaker 1: won't be thinking about it when I'm if I.

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Speaker 3: Start writing things down that I'm thinking, then that'll spawn

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Speaker 3: more thoughts. And he often said, and he and his

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Speaker 3: whole thesis is that like there's this, you know, you've

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Speaker 3: ever heard the terminology clearing the decks like a DJ

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Speaker 3: term no as a layer way of managing your life,

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Speaker 3: Like if I can just get if I just clear

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Speaker 3: the decks, like if I can get rid of my

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Speaker 3: to do list, if I can get rid of this,

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Speaker 3: if I can get rid of that, if I can

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Speaker 3: get rid of all these different things, then I will

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Speaker 3: have time to do the things that I want to do. Sure, right,

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Speaker 3: So that's that's some people's approach to having a busy mind.

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Speaker 3: It's just like I've got a thirty thing to do,

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Speaker 3: thirty list to do list, I've got two hours. Now,

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Speaker 3: I'm elite at getting things done. I mean to get

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Speaker 3: it done. His response to that is, you're going if

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Speaker 3: you get It's like people that get good at replying

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Speaker 3: to emails, you're going to get sent more emails. It's

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Speaker 3: like when they put another lane on the freeway, it's

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Speaker 3: going to fill with cars. If you get good at

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Speaker 3: clearing things, that is all you know. And then you're

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Speaker 3: spending the time clearing things, and you are losing that

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Speaker 3: time to do the things.

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Speaker 2: You actually want to do.

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Speaker 3: Now that you might be really anxious about all the

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Speaker 3: things that you feel like you need to do, and

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Speaker 3: that can happen to me. It's like, I feel like

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Speaker 3: all these things to do, and I'm really good at

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Speaker 3: clearing the list. But the truth is, I'm lying to myself.

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Speaker 3: And then the lie that you tell yourself when you

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Speaker 3: try and get rid of all the things that you

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Speaker 3: need to do, the lie that you tell yourself when

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Speaker 3: you try and clear the decks is that you have

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Speaker 3: time to do that. And his whole thesis is the

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Speaker 3: only way to kind of be happy in this world

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Speaker 3: is to admit to yourself that you actually don't have

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Speaker 3: enough time.

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Speaker 1: What if, Burke Dog, I'm not saying actually doing the thing,

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Speaker 1: I'm just saying what helps a man.

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Speaker 2: I'm a very simple bank.

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Speaker 1: It's just like say, if I'm like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: what's so much on? If I just go like, buy

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Speaker 1: this grocery shop, get PlayStation five, and then I go, oh, so,

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Speaker 1: actually not that much and I feel way calmer. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: for sure, if that works for you, it's horses for

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Speaker 1: courses that Berkman.

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Speaker 3: But I think what he's saying is if you were

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Speaker 3: going to go and buy the PlayStation five, yes, and

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Speaker 3: that you felt like in order. So let's say after

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Speaker 3: buying the place the let's say that's your job. You're sure, right,

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Speaker 3: and then you after you buying the PlayStation five, you

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Speaker 3: want to go for a run, and that's the thing

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Speaker 3: that you want to do. So buying the PlayStation is

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Speaker 3: the thing you need to do. Going for a run

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Speaker 3: something that you want to do. If you run your

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Speaker 3: life where you go, I only get to go for

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Speaker 3: the run by doing the jobs I need to do first.

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Speaker 1: Oh right, They're always prioritizing.

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Speaker 3: If you're if your if your approach to life is

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Speaker 3: only to clear the decks of my to do list

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Speaker 3: before I get the run, never have fun, you will

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Speaker 3: suffer fun, you will suffer. And the funny thing is

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Speaker 3: is that for so many I know, I don't know

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Speaker 3: who was listening to this. If you are in that

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Speaker 3: situation where you feel as if getting things done is

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Speaker 3: self soothing, because you've been taught that that's something you

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Speaker 3: should do and you will get rewarded for it. Do

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Speaker 3: all your jobs. You'll get rewarded for it at the

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Speaker 3: end doing your job. If do your jobs, I'll give

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Speaker 3: you deserve afterwards that doing jobs. You think the misbelief

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Speaker 3: is that doing jobs and getting things done is self soothing.

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Speaker 2: But if you.

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Speaker 3: Actually look at it properly, you'll realize then it is

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Speaker 3: completely debilitating because it's not actually enriching. You're just getting

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Speaker 3: told from the past, from a voice when you're five

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Speaker 3: years old, probably that you are going to get rewarded

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Speaker 3: if you do those things. But that voice never arrives

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Speaker 3: and you're never actually listening to what you want to do,

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Speaker 3: which is go for a run, which is go surfing.

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Speaker 3: And the thing is in those moments, and I find

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Speaker 3: this really hard, is the voice of should, the voice

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Speaker 3: of need to, the voice of clear your list is

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Speaker 3: so fucking loud, and the voice of go surfing, go

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Speaker 3: watch a movie is so quiet that I find it

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Speaker 3: really hard to listen to it.

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Speaker 1: A great exercise to do is to think about your

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Speaker 1: priorities in life. So whatever that is for you, it's

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Speaker 1: given for everyone.

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Speaker 2: Right. Look at your week. It's it's actually terrifying to

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Speaker 2: do it.

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Speaker 1: Look at your week and you go how many hours?

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Speaker 1: So say, if my priority is my family? Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: say my second priority is having fun, my third priority

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Speaker 1: is work. And then I go, okay, I'm actually going

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Speaker 1: to write I'm going to jot down what a rough

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Speaker 1: week looks like. Yeah, and then figure out how many

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Speaker 1: hours you put in each Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Really confronting, Yeah, terrifying in fact, And I did a

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Speaker 3: similar program. I did it through the Burke Dog if only.

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Speaker 1: Enough, the Goddamn Burke Dog and the Good to Do.

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Speaker 3: Though the Burke Dog actually said I think I'm told

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Speaker 3: this before. He said, there's a famous quote by some

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Speaker 3: American anyway, he said, write down your list of twenty

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Speaker 3: things in your life that you like doing. Take the

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Speaker 3: top five right now. It's not rocket science. Everyone's going

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Speaker 3: to go, yeah, you just work through them one to

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Speaker 3: five your priorities. His response was delete, like like ruthlessly

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Speaker 3: abandoned six through twenty. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Because his thesis

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Speaker 3: is fifteen to twenty is not killing you, Like they're

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Speaker 3: things that you know that you do sporadically. Six through

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Speaker 3: fifteen is what really fucks you, because you're trying to

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Speaker 3: tell yourself that you actually do those things. But the

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Speaker 3: fact is, because you're telling yourself that you kind of

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Speaker 3: do those things, you're never actually giving one to five

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Speaker 3: the attention.

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Speaker 2: That you want to give them.

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Speaker 3: You just have too much. And again he's again, you

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Speaker 3: do not have enough time. And the quicker that you

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Speaker 3: can realize that you're not going to get the things

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Speaker 3: done that you need to do, and you're not going

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Speaker 3: to get the things done that you want to do.

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Speaker 3: Simplifying and prioritizing comes really really simple, crystallizes.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the Burke dog, he's good at what he does.

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Speaker 1: He's got a couple of disciples in here. Even though

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Speaker 1: I have read a sentence of his.

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Speaker 3: Work time management for Mere Mortals. If you'd like a book, well,

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Speaker 3: speaking of time management, Oh no, I.

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Speaker 2: Happy with this.

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Speaker 1: Burto go if your priorities are outside of doing a podcast,

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Speaker 1: He's spent five minutes.

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Speaker 3: I also want to live in a life where buying

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Speaker 3: a purs five is a job. Yeah right, I know.

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Speaker 2: Actually is a bit of a stress man. You know,

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Speaker 2: I've been talking about it. When do I have the

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Speaker 2: time to get this? You can go now, go now,

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Speaker 2: I can go now, I could go now get ready

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Speaker 2: for me, JB. That's not a mentioned.

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Speaker 3: Give out the things that you want to do, write

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Speaker 3: three of them. I reckon for your whole life, and

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Speaker 3: then try and put them into your week as the

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Speaker 3: first thing you do every day.

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Speaker 1: And now see how many hours you put towards your

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Speaker 1: three priorities. Just just just equate that it's terrifying, but

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Speaker 1: also a good terrifying because you can make a change.

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Speaker 3: Brought you by Sam Pillar Greenow