1 00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:03,880 Speaker 1: It's The Happy Family's podcast with doctor Justin Coilson, the 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:06,880 Speaker 1: podcast for the time Poor Parent who just Wants Answers 3 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:09,600 Speaker 1: Now Where Luke and Susie, a husband and wife radio 4 00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:12,080 Speaker 1: team and the parents of three young boys. And today 5 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:14,319 Speaker 1: we're looking at a question from Jenny, who's looking at 6 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:16,200 Speaker 1: surviving homeschool and isolation. 7 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:21,280 Speaker 2: Surviving homeschool and isolation. Survival is the key for Jenny. 8 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:24,400 Speaker 3: You know, I've had some parents tell me that their 9 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:26,800 Speaker 3: children have already complained about the teacher this year and said, 10 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:31,000 Speaker 3: I don't want this teacher next year. I've had some 11 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:33,440 Speaker 3: parents say they've expelled all three of their children from 12 00:00:33,479 --> 00:00:36,199 Speaker 3: the home school already and the teacher was fired for 13 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:37,239 Speaker 3: drinking on the job as well. 14 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:41,199 Speaker 2: In time fases, the students need to know that the 15 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:43,640 Speaker 2: teachers also put in similar complaints. It doesn't want those 16 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:44,720 Speaker 2: students back next year. 17 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:47,600 Speaker 3: It's a tricky situation, isn't it. 18 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:49,680 Speaker 1: Well, it's just I think the thing is, it's just 19 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:52,160 Speaker 1: so unexpected. I think we knew what we were going 20 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:54,760 Speaker 1: into with twenty twenty when January was here, and then 21 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:57,120 Speaker 1: by March everything had kind of changed. So let's look 22 00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:01,160 Speaker 1: at Jenny's question specifically, doctor Justin Coilson. She said, surviving 23 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:04,360 Speaker 1: homeschool in isolation, particularly how to get the kids enough 24 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:07,760 Speaker 1: exercise so they're not climbing the walls when they have 25 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:10,520 Speaker 1: closed all the public playgrounds. So I think this is 26 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:13,760 Speaker 1: about balancing getting the exercises they need, getting them out, 27 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:16,840 Speaker 1: getting them the playtime, but then also achieving the homeschooling goals. 28 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:19,360 Speaker 3: Well, let's talk a little bit about what children really 29 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:22,520 Speaker 3: need and what we need to be doing as parents, 30 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:26,040 Speaker 3: recognizing that it's almost impossible for us to get all 31 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:28,360 Speaker 3: of this right. Okay, So I think the first thing 32 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:31,200 Speaker 3: that I would emphasize is that children do not need 33 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:34,880 Speaker 3: another teacher. They actually need parents, especially right now. And Yeah, 34 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,000 Speaker 3: I know we're supposed to be working through all the 35 00:01:38,319 --> 00:01:41,520 Speaker 3: all of the course content, all of the student packs 36 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:43,959 Speaker 3: that are being sent home by schools, and I know 37 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,360 Speaker 3: that a lot of parents are sort of thinking, well, 38 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:48,200 Speaker 3: I'm paying all this money for this private school and 39 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:48,920 Speaker 3: they're sending me home. 40 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:50,840 Speaker 4: All this works. So we need to make sure that 41 00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:51,800 Speaker 4: we do it. 42 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:55,880 Speaker 3: But we've got to think lower our expectations. Number One, 43 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:57,960 Speaker 3: we're not school teachers, and even those of us who 44 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:02,000 Speaker 3: are school teachers hear from parents who are teachers. They're like, well, 45 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:03,920 Speaker 3: I can teach other people's children, but teaching my own 46 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,480 Speaker 3: children is a totally different bag. 47 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:08,120 Speaker 4: I'm not enjoying this at all. Doesn't work as well. 48 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:10,120 Speaker 3: So I would say, first of all, let's take the 49 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:13,639 Speaker 3: pressure off and stop trying to home school your kids 50 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:17,160 Speaker 3: unless you are a homeschool parent, in which case you 51 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:18,840 Speaker 3: know that you probably do one to two hours a day, 52 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:22,400 Speaker 3: especially for primary school children, and then you move on 53 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:25,800 Speaker 3: to other things. Most of us are not actually homeschool parents. 54 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,280 Speaker 3: We're just trying to get our children to do a 55 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:31,640 Speaker 3: little bit of school work. So lower your expectations. Do 56 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:35,079 Speaker 3: maybe one to two hours of school work per day 57 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:38,160 Speaker 3: if your children are in primary school, and that should 58 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:41,240 Speaker 3: mainly be reading, plus maybe some of the activities that 59 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:42,920 Speaker 3: are being sent through. I don't know if you found 60 00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:45,880 Speaker 3: this look in, Susie, but once your children get past 61 00:02:45,919 --> 00:02:48,880 Speaker 3: about grade three or grade four, I don't know if 62 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,560 Speaker 3: you do. But I don't know how to do the 63 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:53,080 Speaker 3: stuff that they have to do. 64 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:55,359 Speaker 2: Like change it, don't they How they calculate the mathematics 65 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:57,320 Speaker 2: is different to what we got taught. When will kids. 66 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:00,440 Speaker 3: I've got a PhD, but I can't do grade formats. 67 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:01,000 Speaker 1: That's right. 68 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:01,760 Speaker 4: I hear you. 69 00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:02,720 Speaker 1: I totally hear. 70 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:06,840 Speaker 3: And what I'm also hearing from parents consistently is that 71 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:10,080 Speaker 3: this pressure to get these kids to do their six 72 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:13,760 Speaker 3: hours of school a day is really rupturing the relationship 73 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:16,840 Speaker 3: at home. It's severing connections and making it so hard 74 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:20,880 Speaker 3: for everybody to actually like each other. So again, one 75 00:03:20,919 --> 00:03:23,040 Speaker 3: to two hours, take the pressure off. Even if the 76 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:25,080 Speaker 3: school has sent home a learning pack that's going to 77 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:27,320 Speaker 3: take you six hours a day, contact the school and 78 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,160 Speaker 3: say thanks so much, really appreciate your sending it through, 79 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:30,600 Speaker 3: but we're not going to be able to keep up. 80 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:32,160 Speaker 4: It's just not working for our family. 81 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:33,799 Speaker 3: I mean, how are you supposed to do it while 82 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:37,000 Speaker 3: you're also working from home and looking after three or 83 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:38,960 Speaker 3: four kids or whatever it might be, Or if you're 84 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:41,120 Speaker 3: a single parent and you're just trying to do everything. 85 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:43,360 Speaker 3: I think that we just need to be kinder to 86 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:45,600 Speaker 3: ourselves and maybe even to be kinder to our children. 87 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:47,640 Speaker 4: Now, this is a really important point that I need 88 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 4: to make though. 89 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 3: Whatever, because some parents are really worried that their children 90 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:56,880 Speaker 3: are going to fall behind, not be doing quite as 91 00:03:56,880 --> 00:04:00,640 Speaker 3: well next year. Whatever schooling your children miss out on, 92 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:03,360 Speaker 3: I can assure you, especially if they're in primary school. 93 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:05,000 Speaker 3: It may be even up to grade seven, on grade eight, 94 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,080 Speaker 3: it's not going to have any significant impact on their 95 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:10,640 Speaker 3: long term academic outcomes or their life outcomes. The school 96 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:12,480 Speaker 3: system the way it's set up that we do thirteen 97 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:15,920 Speaker 3: years of school. It's kind of just this standardized process 98 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 3: that we go through. But we don't have to do 99 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:20,240 Speaker 3: thirteen years of school to become a successful adult. 100 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:23,640 Speaker 4: It's not a compulsory item, and it will be okay 101 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:26,240 Speaker 4: if we take our foot off. 102 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:29,640 Speaker 3: The throttle, sorry, our foot off the accelerator and just 103 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,479 Speaker 3: let the kids relax a little bit. 104 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,360 Speaker 4: So hopefully that answers at least the first part of 105 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:34,080 Speaker 4: the question. 106 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:36,320 Speaker 1: But the next one is making sure our kids are 107 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:40,120 Speaker 1: getting enough movement when all the public playgrounds are closed. 108 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,000 Speaker 1: Dr Justinkilson, what say you? 109 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,600 Speaker 3: There are five things that our children need to be well. 110 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:48,200 Speaker 3: The first of those is connection. There needs to be 111 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:53,240 Speaker 3: regular connection touch points throughout the day. The second one 112 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,479 Speaker 3: is physical activity, and we'll talk about that in just 113 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:57,560 Speaker 3: a set because that's the crux of this question. The 114 00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,039 Speaker 3: third one is that they need some time to just 115 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:02,720 Speaker 3: be still. And once again, if you're trying to push 116 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:05,120 Speaker 3: your children through a six hour school day. At home, 117 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:07,359 Speaker 3: there's not going to be a lot of time for stillness. 118 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:10,040 Speaker 3: It's okay to just relax, stare up at the clouds, 119 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:13,240 Speaker 3: go for a walk around the yard, have some quiet time, 120 00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:14,600 Speaker 3: reading a book, whatever it might be. 121 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:15,800 Speaker 4: Stillness is important. 122 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:18,039 Speaker 3: Next, they need to keep on learning, and finally, they 123 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:19,640 Speaker 3: need to find ways to make a difference in the 124 00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:23,239 Speaker 3: lives of other people. So let's talk about that second 125 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:25,440 Speaker 3: critical idea, which is what the question really was, is 126 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:27,560 Speaker 3: how do I help these kids to get physically active. 127 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:29,560 Speaker 3: You can be as creative as you want with this. 128 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:31,760 Speaker 3: I know that there are all sorts of regulations depending 129 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,200 Speaker 3: on where people might be listening to this podcast, and 130 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,800 Speaker 3: some places you're just not really supposed. 131 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,800 Speaker 4: To be out at all. Other places there's a lot 132 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:39,680 Speaker 4: more flexibility. 133 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:42,560 Speaker 3: But what I would say is work with the children 134 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:45,640 Speaker 3: on things that they're going to enjoy doing, and find 135 00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:49,440 Speaker 3: a way that you can involve yourself in that physical 136 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:52,160 Speaker 3: activity with them to the extent that that's possible. The 137 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:55,000 Speaker 3: more that children feel like we're in this with them, 138 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,600 Speaker 3: the more enjoyable it will be. Now, one idea that 139 00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:00,480 Speaker 3: has come up consistently on so We've got our Justin 140 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:03,159 Speaker 3: Courson t Happy Family's Facebook page, but we've also started 141 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:06,599 Speaker 3: another little page called bunker Down with Justin and Kylie, 142 00:06:06,839 --> 00:06:09,479 Speaker 3: and people are sharing just the most brilliant ideas for 143 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:11,440 Speaker 3: how to be physically active, or how to be connected, 144 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:14,200 Speaker 3: or how to get through this very challenging period. 145 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:16,799 Speaker 4: And one thing that I think came from the page 146 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:19,359 Speaker 4: I can't quite remember now, but would be really useful. 147 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:22,839 Speaker 3: Get a jar, a bunch of pieces of paper and 148 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:25,320 Speaker 3: get the kids to write down every physical activity they 149 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:26,880 Speaker 3: can think of that they might like to do. You 150 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,320 Speaker 3: might come up with five, or ten, or twenty, it 151 00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:32,640 Speaker 3: doesn't really matter. Keep adding to the jar every single day. 152 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:35,920 Speaker 3: Whenever another idea comes up, throw those ideas into the jar, 153 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:38,640 Speaker 3: and then when the day begins, reach into the jar 154 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:39,600 Speaker 3: and say, well. 155 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:40,960 Speaker 4: Look, this is our physical activity today. 156 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,680 Speaker 3: It's that, you know, whatever one you pull out, So 157 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:44,600 Speaker 3: it might be a family bike ride or a family walk. 158 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:47,320 Speaker 3: It might be kicking a ball or throwing a frisbee 159 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:49,320 Speaker 3: or throwing a netball. 160 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,680 Speaker 4: There may be balloon races up and down the corridor 161 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:54,520 Speaker 4: in the house. Maybe you're going. 162 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:57,760 Speaker 3: To put together a little exercise circuit and get the 163 00:06:57,839 --> 00:07:01,000 Speaker 3: kids doing some leg raises or car raises or burpies 164 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,440 Speaker 3: or star jumps or whatever it is that you want 165 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:07,880 Speaker 3: to do, depending on how physically what's the word physically 166 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:10,240 Speaker 3: knowledgeable you are around all those exercise sorts of things. 167 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:12,760 Speaker 3: In fact, my sixteen year old has done that for 168 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,800 Speaker 3: her little sisters. So the sixteen year old gets out 169 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:16,720 Speaker 3: of the yard with the twelve year old, the ten 170 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,760 Speaker 3: year old and the six year old and they're running 171 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:21,360 Speaker 3: these little aerobics classes every day for about thirty or 172 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,600 Speaker 3: forty minutes and they're loving it. There's all kinds of 173 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:26,000 Speaker 3: creative things that we can do. 174 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:27,000 Speaker 4: We just need. 175 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:31,520 Speaker 3: To slow down, recognize we can take the pressure off 176 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:34,400 Speaker 3: a little bit and find a way that the kids 177 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,920 Speaker 3: can get that hour of physical activity each day. 178 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:40,680 Speaker 2: It's been incredibly helpful. It's been very practical, and I 179 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:42,720 Speaker 2: think the thing that I've enjoyed about the answer to 180 00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:44,440 Speaker 2: Jenny's question is no matter which way you look at it, 181 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,480 Speaker 2: no matter what part of the question is, is take 182 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:49,400 Speaker 2: it easy on yourself, slow down, everything will be okay. 183 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:52,000 Speaker 2: You don't need dependic and you don't need to rush justin. 184 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:54,560 Speaker 3: That's really the reassurance that I'm trying to give parents. 185 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:56,240 Speaker 3: We're going to be okay and a few months back, 186 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:57,080 Speaker 3: in a few months time. 187 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,680 Speaker 4: We'll look back and say, look how we did that. 188 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:01,320 Speaker 4: We came together, Our family is tight, well connected. 189 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:04,800 Speaker 3: We found ways to enjoy each other again, and hopefully 190 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,640 Speaker 3: we're actually going to implement some habits that won't fall 191 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:09,280 Speaker 3: away once the regulations do. 192 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:12,640 Speaker 2: Our guests, Doctor Justin Kilson from Happy Families, thank you 193 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:14,360 Speaker 2: so much, mate, Always pleasure. 194 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,560 Speaker 1: If you've enjoyed the podcast, we'd love for you to 195 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:19,040 Speaker 1: leave a review like this one from d Minzi, who 196 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:21,640 Speaker 1: said this is a great podcast for overwhelmed modern parents. 197 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:24,679 Speaker 1: Each app isn't too long, succeeding enough. You can listen 198 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:27,200 Speaker 1: to one on the school run. It offers sensible, helpful 199 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:30,360 Speaker 1: and practical advice you can put into action immediately. You 200 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:33,520 Speaker 1: can find more resources at the website happyfamilies dot com 201 00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:34,040 Speaker 1: dot au