Speaker 1: I would like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the
Speaker 1: land on which this episode is being recorded, the Coomboo
Speaker 1: Marry people. We pay our respects to elders past, present
Speaker 1: and emerging and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and
Speaker 1: Torres Strait Islander peoples. Today I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson,
Speaker 1: and this is the Rise and Conquer Podcast. This is
Speaker 1: the podcast where we ch have mindset, self development and
Speaker 1: becoming your higher self mix soon with a lot of laughs,
Speaker 1: plus behind the scenes of my life running two businesses
Speaker 1: and being among Think of us as the perfect combo
Speaker 1: of brunch with your besties mixed with self development. No
Speaker 1: matter where you are in your journey.
Speaker 2: We're here to help you be curious, pull yourself out,
Speaker 2: and embrace radical self awareness.
Speaker 1: If you're ready to get into the.
Speaker 2: Driver's seat of your own life and stop letting life
Speaker 2: pass you by, then you're in the right place.
Speaker 3: Hey everyone, it's Cooper here again. Thanks for having me
Speaker 3: Rise and Conquer.
Speaker 4: We're so excited.
Speaker 3: Yep, very very exciting episode. Today it's going to get
Speaker 3: hopefully not too deep, but deep enough to show everyone
Speaker 3: what we're going to talk about today and what I
Speaker 3: want to talk about today is how to turn a
Speaker 3: bad memory into a memory of gratitude. Today, we're going
Speaker 3: to talk to a Tea and Georgina and yeah, we're
Speaker 3: going to go through a bad memory that they want
Speaker 3: to have gratitude around.
Speaker 4: We're a bit nervous, we're excited.
Speaker 3: All right, let's start with Tea. Okay, I let's let's
Speaker 3: talk about your bad memory. You go through what is
Speaker 3: bad about it and why, and yeah, we'll just go
Speaker 3: deep enough on it.
Speaker 4: So the bad memory I've chosen to talk about today
Speaker 4: is in I think it would be middle school, So
Speaker 4: like grade eight or nine, around about I was a
Speaker 4: bit bullied and I was called fatty Baddy a lot,
Speaker 4: and I wasn't anywhere near fat. I was like a
Speaker 4: size six or something, but I held on to that
Speaker 4: and I think it really messed with my body image
Speaker 4: and it's something that I carry like. It was like
Speaker 4: a slight insecurity, which I feel like is quite common
Speaker 4: for most girls that age. And then it just ified
Speaker 4: because it was just kind of shit that people I
Speaker 4: guess noticed it and pointed it out. And like, rhyming sucks,
Speaker 4: especially when it's with your name.
Speaker 3: I know, aren't kids horrible.
Speaker 4: I was like, oh gosh, like and I think, yeah,
Speaker 4: just really messed messed with my self esteem, which wasn't great.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, we all have these that we and in
Speaker 3: school it's just everywhere I've got them. I'm sure everyone
Speaker 3: else would have some sort of bullied memory that they've got. So, yeah,
Speaker 3: that's pretty bad. Like what else kind of happened like
Speaker 3: in school? Were you scared to go to school each day?
Speaker 3: Was it?
Speaker 4: There was a point where it got really bad and
Speaker 4: I had gone to talk to a teacher about it
Speaker 4: because I would like cry, just like started crying one
Speaker 4: day in class and I was like, I can't do this,
Speaker 4: so I want to talk to a teacher about it.
Speaker 4: And it ended up being a bit of a misunderstanding
Speaker 4: with some of my closer friends and they thought that
Speaker 4: I went to complain about them or something like that,
Speaker 4: so they stopped talking to me too, and it actually
Speaker 4: had nothing to do with them, and I guess that
Speaker 4: was really shitty because I was going through a crappy
Speaker 4: time that had nothing to do with my close friends,
Speaker 4: and then they stopped talking to me. So I was
Speaker 4: literally by myself and no one would talk to me,
Speaker 4: and I had no friends, and it like it was
Speaker 4: like it was short lived. It was like a week
Speaker 4: or two before my friends started talking to me again.
Speaker 4: But it just feels so long when you're a kid.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, especially as a kid, like we put everything
Speaker 3: on our shoulders. We don't blame anyone. That's what happens
Speaker 3: when you were a kid, that any sort of bad
Speaker 3: memory or trauma goes on. Yeah, it is, yeah, and
Speaker 3: we don't know how to process it. So yeah, as
Speaker 3: a kid, it's not good. Yeah, Like in that scenario, yeah,
Speaker 3: a bit of communication would have gone.
Speaker 4: On everything it was insane.
Speaker 3: But it's still it's that comment or the comments that
Speaker 3: would have just dug into your subconscious and yeah, gone
Speaker 3: deep and thought, yeah right, we're going to hold this
Speaker 3: memory and it's bad. Yeah, so in your head it's
Speaker 3: just bad. There's like in your head, this is just
Speaker 3: a bad memory.
Speaker 4: Genuinely. Yes, Like I I feel like so much bad
Speaker 4: has also come from it because it's something like body
Speaker 4: image is something that's just like I've held onto forever
Speaker 4: and it's a problem that I've had for ages and
Speaker 4: I can't get past it. So I liked, it's not
Speaker 4: like I had like a really transformative time with my
Speaker 4: body image after that comment, because I didn't.
Speaker 3: Ye, that's so bad. Yeah, yeah, it would have carried
Speaker 3: down and yeah you might have had some more memories
Speaker 3: around that and yeah kept that trigger going.
Speaker 4: Yeah it's like magnified.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, cool, all right, thanks for sharing it here.
Speaker 3: That's very brave of you to bringing this up. It's
Speaker 3: pretty hard to pay, especially on a podcast as well.
Speaker 3: So you're amazing, Thank you. All right. So the next
Speaker 3: thing I want to do is very difficult, and I
Speaker 3: want to ask you what are the good things that
Speaker 3: have come from this memory? Might be bitter hard, So
Speaker 3: in your head, what are you thinking?
Speaker 4: Like nothing, there's nothing, there's nothing.
Speaker 3: So that's good. Okay, that's really good. All right, So
Speaker 3: let's start. What kind of person did you become from
Speaker 3: this memory? What do you reckon? Is something good that
Speaker 3: has come from this memory in you? As a person?
Speaker 4: I never or I try really hard not to say
Speaker 4: mean things too or about other people.
Speaker 3: So it's made you a kind person? Yeah, okay, al
Speaker 3: write that down? What other good things? Okay, it's made
Speaker 3: you a kind person. What other strengths did you develop
Speaker 3: from this?
Speaker 4: I guess like a bit of resilience, because I was
Speaker 4: alone for like two weeks, which doesn't sound like a lot,
Speaker 4: but it was shit. And I guess also strengthened the
Speaker 4: close friendships I had with those friends that did stop
Speaker 4: talking to me at that time, because we did have
Speaker 4: to learn to communicate to get out of it. And
Speaker 4: one of them is still like one of my best friends,
Speaker 4: and we have the best communication.
Speaker 3: That's amazing. Yeah, communication is key for any relationship.
Speaker 4: And I think that that definitely came from like those
Speaker 4: two weeks of not speaking to each other.
Speaker 3: Wow, so you got my communication, yeah, and you got
Speaker 3: your best friend.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So that's awesome.
Speaker 4: That's pretty good.
Speaker 3: That's pretty good.
Speaker 4: That was pretty quick.
Speaker 3: That way, really well, there be heaps more. We'll keep going. Okay,
Speaker 3: what happened like a few months after, like anything else
Speaker 3: going to happen at home? Or if this is hard,
Speaker 3: like if you're trying to do this at home, it's
Speaker 3: nice to close your eyes and go to that memory,
Speaker 3: Go to that memory and pitch yourself there and then
Speaker 3: pitchy yourself the next month was what happened in your
Speaker 3: life the next few months or even a year.
Speaker 4: I got really close with my mum because I did
Speaker 4: speak to her about it while it was happening.
Speaker 3: Wow, that's really nice.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that was really nice. And she was very supportive,
Speaker 4: but like didn't overstep, like she didn't come in and
Speaker 4: try to sort it out for me or anything like that.
Speaker 4: She gave me the space to do it myself but
Speaker 4: supported me through it.
Speaker 3: That's really nice.
Speaker 4: That was really nice.
Speaker 3: Yep.
Speaker 4: And I think I learned a lot as a pod
Speaker 4: from that because I knew I could do it on
Speaker 4: my own, Like I didn't need her to fix things,
Speaker 4: but she was there.
Speaker 3: And so you just kind of mentioned what did that
Speaker 3: give to yourself? That's given you more independence? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: that's really cool. Wow, because you definitely are very independent.
Speaker 5: Literally my.
Speaker 3: Okay, that's really good. Anything else is gonna happen in
Speaker 3: the next year, anything around another family member, another friend
Speaker 3: did something unexpected to come from being independent.
Speaker 4: Not that I can remember. It was like really long
Speaker 4: ago now yep.
Speaker 3: But if you get stuck, close your eyes and have
Speaker 3: a little thing start digging around.
Speaker 4: I stopped using this really toxic ap. It was called kick.
Speaker 4: I don't know if people remember that kick, Like it
Speaker 4: was called kik or something like that. It was like
Speaker 4: a little green messaging app for kids, and I think
Speaker 4: I realized how toxic it was because of how mean
Speaker 4: everyone was to each other on it, Like we were
Speaker 4: all thirteen fourteen, but people would have like group chats
Speaker 4: and then make group chats excluding people. And I really
Speaker 4: felt that when I didn't get to speak to my
Speaker 4: friends for a few weeks because they would make group
Speaker 4: chats and not have me in them, and that felt
Speaker 4: really shit. So I guess I came out the other
Speaker 4: side going, oh, like, I don't want to have anything
Speaker 4: to do with that, so I got rid of it.
Speaker 3: So why do you reckon that's good in your eyes?
Speaker 4: I'm not super scared to delete social media, I guess,
Speaker 4: And I know that I haven't really deleted anything I
Speaker 4: have now, but it's because I don't feel it's toxic.
Speaker 4: But I'm not really scared to get rid of things
Speaker 4: that are toxic out of like fomo or like fear
Speaker 4: of missing out. I guess it's not really a thing
Speaker 4: that I really feel, because what am I missing if
Speaker 4: I don't want to be there?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, so it sounds really strong willed. Yeah, you
Speaker 3: able to speak up?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: All right? So is there any other good things?
Speaker 4: I think those are probably the main things. They're all
Speaker 4: really big things. I'm really shocked.
Speaker 3: There might be some more, Okay, there's usually Yeah.
Speaker 4: I think it came out very compassionate because I knew
Speaker 4: what it felt like to be treated in a not
Speaker 4: nice way, and I wanted to make sure that I
Speaker 4: was never the reason that someone else felt that way,
Speaker 4: or if I could see someone else feeling that way,
Speaker 4: I did something about it to help them not feel
Speaker 4: that way.
Speaker 3: Yep, that's awesome. Yeah, that's really nice. Did you receive
Speaker 3: any good luck from this? Being so strong willed and independent?
Speaker 3: And something kind of happened the next like in that
Speaker 3: year from that in school, maybe in a holiday with
Speaker 3: your family.
Speaker 4: The two weeks the speak to me were exam weeks,
Speaker 4: so I got really good grades. Got my first day plus,
Speaker 4: nailed the science exam.
Speaker 3: How crazy is that? That crazy?
Speaker 4: And that was the only A plus I got all school,
Speaker 4: So that was really good.
Speaker 3: That's really good.
Speaker 4: It was. I also learned the benefit of not talking
Speaker 4: to my friends in class a little thing, but and
Speaker 4: I didn't have a problem sitting by myself after that. Like,
Speaker 4: if I ever really wanted to focus in class for
Speaker 4: the rest of the year, I would literally say love
Speaker 4: you guys. I'm going to go sit at the front
Speaker 4: by myself and I'd get my work done. So I learned, yeah,
Speaker 4: how to it by myself, be by myself. And I
Speaker 4: guess that not spending time away from my friends didn't
Speaker 4: mean I'm not their friend anymore.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that's cool.
Speaker 4: And I didn't need to be with them all the time,
Speaker 4: which I think in school was just like a really
Speaker 4: big thing to learn, whereas like as an adult, it
Speaker 4: feels so normal.
Speaker 6: But yeah, so you've used I feel like you would
Speaker 6: have used all these things every time this trauma would
Speaker 6: come up, if something would happen.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like I didn't really get bullied again.
Speaker 3: After that, that's cool, that's awesome.
Speaker 4: I actually didn't realize that until it was done.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I reckon, we get a lot. Yeah, that
Speaker 3: is a lot of good for one memory. So you've
Speaker 3: done very well. I'm going to read back everything. So
Speaker 3: this really bad memory has given you made you a
Speaker 3: kind of person. It's made you more resilient, It's given
Speaker 3: you stronger friendships, communicate. You're a lot better communicating with friends.
Speaker 3: It's made you close with your mum. Your mum's given
Speaker 3: you more support and she's given you a safe space,
Speaker 3: gotten independence, which is massive. It stopped you from using
Speaker 3: a toxic app, just led you into your strong wills.
Speaker 3: You speak up now, you're compassionate to other people around
Speaker 3: these sorts of bad memories. You got you good grades
Speaker 3: for the two weeks and you got your first A.
Speaker 3: That's pretty cool.
Speaker 4: I got a before that, just not a plus.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's so cool. And then from that it's given
Speaker 3: you another benefit of being able to get stuck into
Speaker 3: your work and not be around your friends and put
Speaker 3: up boundaries. So that's pretty cool. So with that, with
Speaker 3: this bad memory, do you want to keep this bad
Speaker 3: memory or do you want to get rid of it?
Speaker 3: Like if you could just magically get rid of it,
Speaker 3: you could just do it right now. Or do you
Speaker 3: want to keep this bad memory because if you get
Speaker 3: rid of this memory, you're going to lose all these
Speaker 3: good things about your identity.
Speaker 4: Oh I'd keep it, yeah, heck yeah, I'd keep yeah. Wow.
Speaker 3: Yeah. So that's pretty powerful to consciously know that whenever
Speaker 3: there's a bad memory or something, you're always going to
Speaker 3: get good.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 3: Any bad memory, there's always good.
Speaker 4: I'm just like so mind blown because I feel like
Speaker 4: I literally went into this going there's no way anything
Speaker 4: good came out of this because my relationship with my
Speaker 4: body hasn't resolved, but didn't think about the fact that
Speaker 4: other good things could have come from it. Yep, it wow, Yep,
Speaker 4: that's actually crazy.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 3: That's just your subconscious protecting you. Whenever these come this
Speaker 3: memory comes up, it's saying, hey, we're going to put
Speaker 3: you in a survival move and you're going to get
Speaker 3: all these things again and be these sorts of these
Speaker 3: sorts of dot dot points from now on. And yeah,
Speaker 3: it's weird how subconscious works.
Speaker 4: So it doesn't want me to know that it was
Speaker 4: a good experience.
Speaker 3: Well, it's keeping it as a bad memory for all
Speaker 3: of this to happen again. But consciously it will come up.
Speaker 3: You can't stop it from coming up. But when it
Speaker 3: comes up, you can say, from now on, you can
Speaker 3: say thank you, thank you subconscious for bringing it up.
Speaker 3: But I got all these good things from it. Wow.
Speaker 3: And then you can move on and not get triggered
Speaker 3: so hard the next time. And yeah, so you can
Speaker 3: keep this memory, keep it tight, and have gratitude to it.
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, whoa cool. Yeah, I'm going to hand
Speaker 4: over to Georgina.
Speaker 3: Now, hello, Georgina, Hello, thanks for joining me today. Let's
Speaker 3: rip straight in and know you overheard everything, So let's
Speaker 3: start with your bad memory.
Speaker 5: Okay, So my memory is also a high school related one, yep.
Speaker 5: And there was this rumor that was going around about me,
Speaker 5: but it was off the back of probably behavior I
Speaker 5: wasn't proud of, so I was already a bit conscious
Speaker 5: of that, and then this rumor kind of spread. And
Speaker 5: then one day in class, I had this group of
Speaker 5: friends that we'd always sit together, and we'd sit in
Speaker 5: like a desk of four, and I walked into the
Speaker 5: class and they purposely so I could see it, moved
Speaker 5: their desks away from me. So I was by myself,
Speaker 5: like there was one desk and there was their three,
Speaker 5: and they were just like staring at me, and the
Speaker 5: whole class looked at me, and it was just very embarrassing. Fine,
Speaker 5: so you got pushed out, Yeah, like purposely.
Speaker 3: Okay, that's horrible for starters, like again, kids, so cruel. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's so bad. Do you mind me asking what you did?
Speaker 3: You don't have to share, this is a safe space.
Speaker 5: It was more so I think me just being a
Speaker 5: teenager and wanting to get attention from boys, from people.
Speaker 5: I just wanted to be seen.
Speaker 3: Yep.
Speaker 5: And I think I just did stuff that probably wasn't
Speaker 5: the best behavior.
Speaker 3: Okay, that's all right, the share, that's all right. So
Speaker 3: what you just did, like a few bad things.
Speaker 5: Yeah, just wasn't a bit of a rebel phase, I guess,
Speaker 5: but I know that it was. The behavior wasn't necessarily
Speaker 5: aligned either, Like I felt a bit shameful about what
Speaker 5: I had done. Yeah, So then there was like that element,
Speaker 5: and then because of that, there was this getting excluded
Speaker 5: and like every one kind of hating me. So it
Speaker 5: was just like tied up thing of like guilt, being embarrassed,
Speaker 5: the exclusion.
Speaker 3: All that kind of stuff.
Speaker 5: Okay, So I am just a very friendly, happy person,
Speaker 5: and I was probably a little bit maybe too flirty
Speaker 5: with people's boyfriends or people that you know, my friends
Speaker 5: were protective overall, owned or whatever you want to say.
Speaker 5: So that kind of came across that I had a
Speaker 5: bit of a reputation of you know, choosing boys of
Speaker 5: a friends or like that kind of vibe, which when
Speaker 5: you're that age as a teenage girl, if you've let
Speaker 5: with someone's boyfriend, Like it's like the worst thing ever,
Speaker 5: you know, like, how dare you blah blah blah.
Speaker 3: It can only be like that in your head. No
Speaker 3: one else's so for you. That was a really bad thing.
Speaker 3: But it's very common. Everyone does it, I'm telling you, Like,
Speaker 3: we've all might have done it in some sort of
Speaker 3: way but not even knowing it as well. Yeah, don't
Speaker 3: feel a shame of it, because it's there for a
Speaker 3: reason in your head. And yet, like who doesn't like
Speaker 3: getting attention.
Speaker 5: Especially when you're like a teenage girl, I like, or
Speaker 5: any teenager, that's what you do. Everyone's just trying to
Speaker 5: look good, get attention, be popular, all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 5: And it was just that whole cycle.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's definitely common. Thanks for sharing. That's really brave.
Speaker 3: What were the if you don't mind me asking, what
Speaker 3: were the rumors that were going around?
Speaker 5: So the rumors were based on like a bit of
Speaker 5: this weird reputation that I had gained kind of just
Speaker 5: like being flooding with people's boyfriends, you know, just behavior
Speaker 5: you do it that age to get attention and to
Speaker 5: stand out and stuff like that. But it eventually turned
Speaker 5: into like a bit of a slut shaming thing where
Speaker 5: like we go out to like sporting events and stuff
Speaker 5: and people would chant things about me with my name
Speaker 5: and it in relation to like inappropriate things, and it
Speaker 5: just and it turned into this reputation that I felt
Speaker 5: like wasn't warranted. You know, like I was doing behavior
Speaker 5: that I feel like a lot of girls do at
Speaker 5: that age, but for some reason for me, you know,
Speaker 5: he gotcha.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's crazy.
Speaker 5: Yeah, rumors at school, right in a female Catholic school, Yep.
Speaker 2: Not good.
Speaker 3: But yes, I think this is definitely it's normal. I
Speaker 3: feel like there would be I'm not I wouldn't know,
Speaker 3: but with the girls around me, yeah, I feel like
Speaker 3: that would happen a lot. So you're not alone. It's
Speaker 3: not like you're the bad person here, and it doesn't
Speaker 3: seem like you actually have done anything bad but just
Speaker 3: want to get a bit of tension. Yeah, and that's harmless.
Speaker 3: So it's all good. And I appreciate you being vulnerable
Speaker 3: and sharing this with everyone. It's really really cool and
Speaker 3: hopefully let's to the end of it. And yeah, let's
Speaker 3: see now we already said the big question is what
Speaker 3: is the good things that have come from this bad memory.
Speaker 5: Oh, this is checky. I suppose a little bit of
Speaker 5: like independence, like I as a result, I kind of
Speaker 5: turned very inwood. I became like I always had this
Speaker 5: weird feeling of being a little bit different and isolated
Speaker 5: and alone, so this kind of just cemented that. So
Speaker 5: then I became a very independent self person.
Speaker 3: That's awesome. That's awesome. Independence. It's a really good skill
Speaker 3: to have, Like when you get into adulthood you need it.
Speaker 3: So that's awesome. What else, what kind of person did
Speaker 3: you become? Then? Another strength?
Speaker 5: I suppose I was a little bit more aware of
Speaker 5: my behavior and how much that could, you know, spread
Speaker 5: and affect others and give me an image and all
Speaker 5: this kind of stuff. So I was more aware of
Speaker 5: what I was doing and the repercussions of that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's really cool, that's awesome. What else did you
Speaker 3: gain any Did any of your friendships blossom or you
Speaker 3: gain any more? Definitely not more? No more. Maybe that
Speaker 3: was a good thing. Yeah was it a good thing?
Speaker 5: I feel like it probably was. But then me wanting
Speaker 5: to be in this group and be included, I then
Speaker 5: became friends with those people again, you know, like I
Speaker 5: tried hard to work my way back up and be
Speaker 5: liked again and be included in the group again.
Speaker 3: So you heard what your friends were saying and then
Speaker 3: you adapted to it and you're pivoted.
Speaker 5: Well, yeah, because there was like the thing with the
Speaker 5: desks and the exclusion, and then it was just kind
Speaker 5: of this weird vibe in my friendship group because a
Speaker 5: few of the girls I was closer with wanted to
Speaker 5: support me, and they were still being nice to me,
Speaker 5: but they also were kind of like in a bit
Speaker 5: of a hard position, and then the other half of
Speaker 5: the group like, we don't want to bar of her.
Speaker 5: So I just kind of would sit at lunch and
Speaker 5: just like sit on the edge and not say anything
Speaker 5: and just waited until it like died down or went away,
Speaker 5: and then I kind of just slowly tried to like
Speaker 5: schmooze back.
Speaker 3: Why do you think that's good? Why has that helped
Speaker 3: you be more? I guess adaptable, adaptable and like fitting
Speaker 3: in with the crowds. That has that helped you?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Like I'm very aware of people's body language and the
Speaker 5: vibe they're giving off, and I can pick up on
Speaker 5: energies and things like that, So I feel like I'm
Speaker 5: able to adapt and tailor my communication and body language
Speaker 5: and stuff back to people.
Speaker 3: So able to listen to people a bit more and
Speaker 3: take a step back and have a look at what
Speaker 3: people are doing. Very much.
Speaker 5: I'm a big observe.
Speaker 3: Well, that's really cool. That's a really good strength to
Speaker 3: like sit back listen to people, because you gain knowledge
Speaker 3: if you're the person that's always knows the answer and
Speaker 3: you're always in front of people and that sort of
Speaker 3: thing you never learn because you're telling the story. So
Speaker 3: sitting back and listening that's awesome.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it definitely helped me like take a step back
Speaker 5: and not want to be in the limelight as much,
Speaker 5: you know, like ye, if anything, I'm like, I'm happy
Speaker 5: to not be the center of attention at all.
Speaker 3: And that worked for you. That's really cool. Cool, So
Speaker 3: maybe following that, like the next few months, what are
Speaker 3: some good things that have come from it? Like as
Speaker 3: a person, even at.
Speaker 5: Home, I feel like I can't remember much good coming
Speaker 5: of it, like now reflecting back and saying those things, yes,
Speaker 5: but I have memories of the following period after that
Speaker 5: where it was like pretty bad, Like I remember crying
Speaker 5: on the bus home from school and just being really
Speaker 5: angry with my family and at home, Like I feel
Speaker 5: like it gave me a anger For a while, it.
Speaker 3: Was just how did that anger serve you? It's another thing,
Speaker 3: like that's something bad. What did you get from that anger?
Speaker 5: Probably like I feel like I became a bit more
Speaker 5: stand up for my selfie, you know, like I was
Speaker 5: less of a maybe a bit less of a pushover
Speaker 5: or like I remember speaking a bit more to my
Speaker 5: family and like saying what I thought a bit more
Speaker 5: and it kind of a bit more of a boldness,
Speaker 5: I guess.
Speaker 3: Yep, confidence is massive. What else that's awesome? The next
Speaker 3: couple of years, did you get any good luck from it?
Speaker 3: Is it just questions? It doesn't happen?
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, good, I suppose. An interesting thing is after that,
Speaker 5: I got into a relationship that was like quite a
Speaker 5: serious one that I had for the next five years,
Speaker 5: and if anything, I turned like the other way where
Speaker 5: I kind of like all my friends were going to
Speaker 5: festivals and all that kind of stuff, and I just
Speaker 5: completely like missed that whole section because I like, low
Speaker 5: key turned into a little housewife.
Speaker 3: Very cool.
Speaker 5: Yeah, which is interesting because it's only really I'm thinking
Speaker 5: about that now that I was kind of so far
Speaker 5: that way, had this experience and then got into this
Speaker 5: relationship and like really settled down. And then I also
Speaker 5: kind of distanced myself from my friends because they were
Speaker 5: going out a lot of partying and doing all that
Speaker 5: and I didn't do that.
Speaker 3: Wow, So that was good for you. That kept you
Speaker 3: more of a good, good girl in your eyes. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I guess, so that's really cool. That's amazing. What else
Speaker 3: there's going to be some more? Does that helped you
Speaker 3: later on in life getting a job or after school
Speaker 3: give you a clear vision of what you wanted to
Speaker 3: be in your life? Yeah?
Speaker 5: I guess like I had a few experiences like that afterwards,
Speaker 5: which taught me what I didn't want. I feel like
Speaker 5: I've had a bit of a few little chameleon sessions.
Speaker 5: Like I then got out of that relationship and went
Speaker 5: the other way again, not into partying, but then I
Speaker 5: kind of like got really into wanting to be an
Speaker 5: entrepreneur and like did a lot of study and research
Speaker 5: and kind of like had another identity change. I guess.
Speaker 5: So I suppose it's helped me yet, like that adaptability
Speaker 5: piece of being able to kind of go with how
Speaker 5: I'm feeling in each season and know that I can change.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you get that independent.
Speaker 5: Yeah, very independent.
Speaker 3: Yeah, pivot. Yeah that's very cool. Yeah, it has really
Speaker 3: shaped you into the woom when you are today. Something
Speaker 3: so small and such a bad memory that, Yeah, we
Speaker 3: hold onto these sorts of things, but it's there for
Speaker 3: a reason. It's showing us that we don't want to
Speaker 3: do that again, Like it's we don't want to be shamed.
Speaker 3: And yeah, so that's really cool. Is there anything else
Speaker 3: if you need to close your eyes and have a
Speaker 3: thing dive through your memory.
Speaker 5: No, I'm a lot more, like I feel, like perceptive
Speaker 5: of like people's feelings and stuff. Yeah, like I'm a
Speaker 5: lot more aware of people, how they're acting, how they're behaving,
Speaker 5: what it could mean, all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 3: Yeap, all right, so this bad memory of there's a
Speaker 3: lot of room. He's going around in school and you've
Speaker 3: been shamed and you're being called bad things in front
Speaker 3: of everyone and they weren't true and it's not who
Speaker 3: you are, and yeah, that's so horrible to have that
Speaker 3: and keep holding it as a bad memory. But from
Speaker 3: that you've got independence. You are more aware of the
Speaker 3: repercussions of your actions. So it made you're a better
Speaker 3: person in your in your mind, made you a better
Speaker 3: listener and observer. So you're able to soaking knowledge and
Speaker 3: visualize the room and kind of gain gain everything and
Speaker 3: not Yeah, bit that spotlight person which has probably helped
Speaker 3: you a lot. Assume you're able to stand up for yourself,
Speaker 3: like as a woman, I think that's massive. Yeah, I
Speaker 3: feel like that's something that is a really good strength
Speaker 3: for a male as well, but yes, for women, that's awesome.
Speaker 3: You've got confidence. That's massive to have confidence and everything
Speaker 3: throughout your life. It's always Yeah, triggered that up and
Speaker 3: given you confidence. You've got a relationship for five years,
Speaker 3: so it must have been pretty good at that time. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 3: Well it got you away from the partying and that
Speaker 3: sort of thing, and at the time maybe that was
Speaker 3: just what you needed and that's the journey you were on.
Speaker 3: So that was really cool. And then from that you're
Speaker 3: held and you got an identity change after that relationship
Speaker 3: ship from that bad memory in a way that's really cool.
Speaker 3: You're able to pivot in your life a lot easier,
Speaker 3: and I guess and you've used that a lot in
Speaker 3: your life, and you're able to pivot pretty fast and
Speaker 3: adapt and yeah, so that's really cool. You're more aware
Speaker 3: of other people's actions as well to doing the same
Speaker 3: sort of thing. You're more aware of it, and that's
Speaker 3: really cool. So having all these good things from this
Speaker 3: one bad memory. Would you keep this bad memory?
Speaker 5: I think I will keep it.
Speaker 3: It would keep it, I would keep it. Yeah, how
Speaker 3: cool is that?
Speaker 5: It's so cool. It's not until you give it the
Speaker 5: time and energy and spotlight to think about it in
Speaker 5: a different way that you actually realize all of this stuff,
Speaker 5: because it always just comes up as like a fleeting
Speaker 5: memory of like you know, you always get excluded or
Speaker 5: you know whatever your internal dialogue says. When you reframe
Speaker 5: it like this, it's so powerful.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so use it when it comes up again, take
Speaker 3: a moment, take a step back, do some breath work.
Speaker 3: That's a good thing when you're doing If you were
Speaker 3: to do this with anyone else, and because yeah, it's
Speaker 3: not harmful, like to do this with your friends, and
Speaker 3: it's a cool thing to do it, try and do
Speaker 3: it to yourself, but it'd be pretty hard. But yeah,
Speaker 3: just to have that gratitude with a certain memory, Yeah.
Speaker 5: I can't fit to do this with other memories. I
Speaker 5: think you're right. You need someone to kind of counteract
Speaker 5: your mind and bounce off.
Speaker 3: Yeah, to have a talk about it and choose that
Speaker 3: person wisely. And I wouldn't recommend to go on a
Speaker 3: really bad memory because it might send you into a
Speaker 3: big trigger. I would personally just do more smaller. Yeah,
Speaker 3: these sorts of memories that are like a bit annoying,
Speaker 3: Yeah you think so annoying, but yeah, the more traumatic ones,
Speaker 3: please get a professional please, yes. And yeah, so I
Speaker 3: am not a professional at this. I'm just learning this
Speaker 3: sort of stuff. And I got this small exercise from
Speaker 3: my coach Levi and yeah, I've used this a lot
Speaker 3: for myself and the people around me, so it's really cool.
Speaker 4: So yeah, what would be your top tips for someone
Speaker 4: to maybe start unpacking something like this other than the questions.
Speaker 3: You've just asked us? Well, first, to like do this
Speaker 3: with someone that you're able to talk to that you
Speaker 3: can be vulnerable. Definitely write it down so you can
Speaker 3: go over it, and yeah, write more notes and get
Speaker 3: more clear, because when you have something visual, you keep
Speaker 3: that in your memory. When you're just talking, it doesn't
Speaker 3: really store in your memory. So definitely write it down
Speaker 3: and journal and just keep it to yourself and when
Speaker 3: you need to look back on it, yeah, have a
Speaker 3: little look.
Speaker 5: And you know how when you were asking both a
Speaker 5: t your and I about the good things that have
Speaker 5: come from it, you kind of kept asking and you
Speaker 5: were like, and what else?
Speaker 7: And what else?
Speaker 5: Like how did you know how far you could push
Speaker 5: or how many things you wanted us to get out
Speaker 5: of that?
Speaker 3: Yeah? So like sometimes I've found when I've done this
Speaker 3: on myself, I might only have like three or four
Speaker 3: or something not as many. And I've really tried to
Speaker 3: go down with help and maybe that's it. Maybe that's all.
Speaker 3: And it might have made you think of another bad
Speaker 3: memory or something might get you down the line, so
Speaker 3: you can keep going. Just yeah, be careful. Yeah, it's
Speaker 3: powerful stuff, this.
Speaker 5: Stuff it is.
Speaker 4: We hope you all enjoyed that episode, and thank you
Speaker 4: Cooper for showing us that process and testing it out
Speaker 4: on Georgina and I. I think it's something so interesting
Speaker 4: that I even when you said it and you will
Speaker 4: like bring a bad memory, I just didn't. I was like,
Speaker 4: there's no way anything good could have come of it.
Speaker 4: So it was a really amazing perspective shift and we're
Speaker 4: so grateful that you shared it with us and we
Speaker 4: can share with our community so that hopefully they can
Speaker 4: do this themselves. Just another reminder that if it is
Speaker 4: like a really traumatic memory to please see professional We're
Speaker 4: not professionals. This is just personal experience.
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely. Yeah, thanks for having me on. Thanks for
Speaker 3: being so vulnerable and sharing your memories because that can
Speaker 3: be really hard. So both of you, thank you very much.
Speaker 4: Thank you so much. Cooper And if you guys have
Speaker 4: any more questions or if you want Cooper's coach leave,
Speaker 4: ion will pop up a threat in the Facebook group
Speaker 4: and we can ask ask them all there, and next
Speaker 4: time we get Cooper on will answer some for you.
Speaker 3: Yep, ask me some more questions as well, because I
Speaker 3: don't have a lot. If you want me to come
Speaker 3: back on, maybe some more questions for next time.
Speaker 4: Amazing.
Speaker 7: Bye, Hey everyone, bye, Thanks, thank you so much for
Speaker 7: listening to another episode of the Rise and Conquer podcast.
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