1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,160 Speaker 1: I would like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the 2 00:00:03,279 --> 00:00:06,640 Speaker 1: land on which this episode is being recorded, the Coomboo 3 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:10,560 Speaker 1: Marry people. We pay our respects to elders past, present 4 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:14,320 Speaker 1: and emerging and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and 5 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:22,720 Speaker 1: Torres Strait Islander peoples. Today I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson, 6 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:30,240 Speaker 1: and this is the Rise and Conquer Podcast. This is 7 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,239 Speaker 1: the podcast where we ch have mindset, self development and 8 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:37,159 Speaker 1: becoming your higher self mix soon with a lot of laughs, 9 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:40,400 Speaker 1: plus behind the scenes of my life running two businesses 10 00:00:40,479 --> 00:00:43,839 Speaker 1: and being among Think of us as the perfect combo 11 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:47,519 Speaker 1: of brunch with your besties mixed with self development. No 12 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:49,599 Speaker 1: matter where you are in your journey. 13 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:52,480 Speaker 2: We're here to help you be curious, pull yourself out, 14 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:54,840 Speaker 2: and embrace radical self awareness. 15 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,040 Speaker 1: If you're ready to get into the. 16 00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:01,000 Speaker 2: Driver's seat of your own life and stop letting life 17 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 2: pass you by, then you're in the right place. 18 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:14,720 Speaker 3: Hey everyone, it's Cooper here again. Thanks for having me 19 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:15,720 Speaker 3: Rise and Conquer. 20 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:16,560 Speaker 4: We're so excited. 21 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:21,600 Speaker 3: Yep, very very exciting episode. Today it's going to get 22 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:26,040 Speaker 3: hopefully not too deep, but deep enough to show everyone 23 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:30,000 Speaker 3: what we're going to talk about today and what I 24 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:33,360 Speaker 3: want to talk about today is how to turn a 25 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:37,039 Speaker 3: bad memory into a memory of gratitude. Today, we're going 26 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:41,039 Speaker 3: to talk to a Tea and Georgina and yeah, we're 27 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:44,160 Speaker 3: going to go through a bad memory that they want 28 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:45,720 Speaker 3: to have gratitude around. 29 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:48,920 Speaker 4: We're a bit nervous, we're excited. 30 00:01:57,320 --> 00:02:04,280 Speaker 3: All right, let's start with Tea. Okay, I let's let's 31 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:08,320 Speaker 3: talk about your bad memory. You go through what is 32 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 3: bad about it and why, and yeah, we'll just go 33 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:14,080 Speaker 3: deep enough on it. 34 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:18,320 Speaker 4: So the bad memory I've chosen to talk about today 35 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:22,120 Speaker 4: is in I think it would be middle school, So 36 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:25,760 Speaker 4: like grade eight or nine, around about I was a 37 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:31,840 Speaker 4: bit bullied and I was called fatty Baddy a lot, 38 00:02:32,639 --> 00:02:39,160 Speaker 4: and I wasn't anywhere near fat. I was like a 39 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:43,200 Speaker 4: size six or something, but I held on to that 40 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:49,040 Speaker 4: and I think it really messed with my body image 41 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:52,640 Speaker 4: and it's something that I carry like. It was like 42 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:55,320 Speaker 4: a slight insecurity, which I feel like is quite common 43 00:02:55,720 --> 00:03:00,520 Speaker 4: for most girls that age. And then it just ified 44 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:02,520 Speaker 4: because it was just kind of shit that people I 45 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:06,840 Speaker 4: guess noticed it and pointed it out. And like, rhyming sucks, 46 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:08,440 Speaker 4: especially when it's with your name. 47 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:14,919 Speaker 3: I know, aren't kids horrible. 48 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:19,320 Speaker 4: I was like, oh gosh, like and I think, yeah, 49 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:22,800 Speaker 4: just really messed messed with my self esteem, which wasn't great. 50 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:27,919 Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, we all have these that we and in 51 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:32,280 Speaker 3: school it's just everywhere I've got them. I'm sure everyone 52 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:37,440 Speaker 3: else would have some sort of bullied memory that they've got. So, yeah, 53 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:40,120 Speaker 3: that's pretty bad. Like what else kind of happened like 54 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:43,640 Speaker 3: in school? Were you scared to go to school each day? 55 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:44,240 Speaker 3: Was it? 56 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:47,080 Speaker 4: There was a point where it got really bad and 57 00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:49,440 Speaker 4: I had gone to talk to a teacher about it 58 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:51,840 Speaker 4: because I would like cry, just like started crying one 59 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:53,600 Speaker 4: day in class and I was like, I can't do this, 60 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:55,920 Speaker 4: so I want to talk to a teacher about it. 61 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,960 Speaker 4: And it ended up being a bit of a misunderstanding 62 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:02,320 Speaker 4: with some of my closer friends and they thought that 63 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:04,680 Speaker 4: I went to complain about them or something like that, 64 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:07,520 Speaker 4: so they stopped talking to me too, and it actually 65 00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:09,520 Speaker 4: had nothing to do with them, and I guess that 66 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:12,040 Speaker 4: was really shitty because I was going through a crappy 67 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:14,760 Speaker 4: time that had nothing to do with my close friends, 68 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:17,919 Speaker 4: and then they stopped talking to me. So I was 69 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:21,240 Speaker 4: literally by myself and no one would talk to me, 70 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:24,800 Speaker 4: and I had no friends, and it like it was 71 00:04:24,839 --> 00:04:26,520 Speaker 4: like it was short lived. It was like a week 72 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:28,800 Speaker 4: or two before my friends started talking to me again. 73 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:32,920 Speaker 4: But it just feels so long when you're a kid. 74 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:37,479 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, especially as a kid, like we put everything 75 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:41,679 Speaker 3: on our shoulders. We don't blame anyone. That's what happens 76 00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:44,840 Speaker 3: when you were a kid, that any sort of bad 77 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:49,520 Speaker 3: memory or trauma goes on. Yeah, it is, yeah, and 78 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:53,560 Speaker 3: we don't know how to process it. So yeah, as 79 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:57,560 Speaker 3: a kid, it's not good. Yeah, Like in that scenario, yeah, 80 00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:59,599 Speaker 3: a bit of communication would have gone. 81 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:03,720 Speaker 4: On everything it was insane. 82 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:07,200 Speaker 3: But it's still it's that comment or the comments that 83 00:05:07,279 --> 00:05:10,960 Speaker 3: would have just dug into your subconscious and yeah, gone 84 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,839 Speaker 3: deep and thought, yeah right, we're going to hold this 85 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:18,960 Speaker 3: memory and it's bad. Yeah, so in your head it's 86 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:22,320 Speaker 3: just bad. There's like in your head, this is just 87 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:23,279 Speaker 3: a bad memory. 88 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:28,960 Speaker 4: Genuinely. Yes, Like I I feel like so much bad 89 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,799 Speaker 4: has also come from it because it's something like body 90 00:05:31,839 --> 00:05:35,440 Speaker 4: image is something that's just like I've held onto forever 91 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:38,599 Speaker 4: and it's a problem that I've had for ages and 92 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:41,400 Speaker 4: I can't get past it. So I liked, it's not 93 00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:45,159 Speaker 4: like I had like a really transformative time with my 94 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,559 Speaker 4: body image after that comment, because I didn't. 95 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:52,200 Speaker 3: Ye, that's so bad. Yeah, yeah, it would have carried 96 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:56,120 Speaker 3: down and yeah you might have had some more memories 97 00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:58,719 Speaker 3: around that and yeah kept that trigger going. 98 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,960 Speaker 4: Yeah it's like magnified. 99 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:05,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, cool, all right, thanks for sharing it here. 100 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:09,080 Speaker 3: That's very brave of you to bringing this up. It's 101 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:13,440 Speaker 3: pretty hard to pay, especially on a podcast as well. 102 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:19,800 Speaker 3: So you're amazing, Thank you. All right. So the next 103 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:24,560 Speaker 3: thing I want to do is very difficult, and I 104 00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:28,080 Speaker 3: want to ask you what are the good things that 105 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:31,640 Speaker 3: have come from this memory? Might be bitter hard, So 106 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:33,480 Speaker 3: in your head, what are you thinking? 107 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:36,919 Speaker 4: Like nothing, there's nothing, there's nothing. 108 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:39,320 Speaker 3: So that's good. Okay, that's really good. All right, So 109 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:43,480 Speaker 3: let's start. What kind of person did you become from 110 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:47,880 Speaker 3: this memory? What do you reckon? Is something good that 111 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:50,760 Speaker 3: has come from this memory in you? As a person? 112 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:56,760 Speaker 4: I never or I try really hard not to say 113 00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:59,160 Speaker 4: mean things too or about other people. 114 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:03,800 Speaker 3: So it's made you a kind person? Yeah, okay, al 115 00:07:03,839 --> 00:07:12,520 Speaker 3: write that down? What other good things? Okay, it's made 116 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:17,120 Speaker 3: you a kind person. What other strengths did you develop 117 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:18,200 Speaker 3: from this? 118 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:23,000 Speaker 4: I guess like a bit of resilience, because I was 119 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:26,200 Speaker 4: alone for like two weeks, which doesn't sound like a lot, 120 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:32,400 Speaker 4: but it was shit. And I guess also strengthened the 121 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:36,360 Speaker 4: close friendships I had with those friends that did stop 122 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:38,440 Speaker 4: talking to me at that time, because we did have 123 00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:41,000 Speaker 4: to learn to communicate to get out of it. And 124 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:44,720 Speaker 4: one of them is still like one of my best friends, 125 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 4: and we have the best communication. 126 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:52,360 Speaker 3: That's amazing. Yeah, communication is key for any relationship. 127 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:54,400 Speaker 4: And I think that that definitely came from like those 128 00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:56,200 Speaker 4: two weeks of not speaking to each other. 129 00:07:56,880 --> 00:08:00,360 Speaker 3: Wow, so you got my communication, yeah, and you got 130 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:00,960 Speaker 3: your best friend. 131 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:01,760 Speaker 5: Yeah. 132 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:02,520 Speaker 3: So that's awesome. 133 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:03,360 Speaker 4: That's pretty good. 134 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:04,160 Speaker 3: That's pretty good. 135 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:05,840 Speaker 4: That was pretty quick. 136 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:10,320 Speaker 3: That way, really well, there be heaps more. We'll keep going. Okay, 137 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:14,560 Speaker 3: what happened like a few months after, like anything else 138 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:17,679 Speaker 3: going to happen at home? Or if this is hard, 139 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,679 Speaker 3: like if you're trying to do this at home, it's 140 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:23,120 Speaker 3: nice to close your eyes and go to that memory, 141 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:28,040 Speaker 3: Go to that memory and pitch yourself there and then 142 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:32,000 Speaker 3: pitchy yourself the next month was what happened in your 143 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:34,200 Speaker 3: life the next few months or even a year. 144 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:39,400 Speaker 4: I got really close with my mum because I did 145 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,679 Speaker 4: speak to her about it while it was happening. 146 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:44,040 Speaker 3: Wow, that's really nice. 147 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:46,760 Speaker 4: Yeah, that was really nice. And she was very supportive, 148 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:49,640 Speaker 4: but like didn't overstep, like she didn't come in and 149 00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:51,679 Speaker 4: try to sort it out for me or anything like that. 150 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:54,640 Speaker 4: She gave me the space to do it myself but 151 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:55,800 Speaker 4: supported me through it. 152 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:56,720 Speaker 3: That's really nice. 153 00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:57,720 Speaker 4: That was really nice. 154 00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:58,040 Speaker 3: Yep. 155 00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:00,320 Speaker 4: And I think I learned a lot as a pod 156 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,839 Speaker 4: from that because I knew I could do it on 157 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:05,600 Speaker 4: my own, Like I didn't need her to fix things, 158 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:06,480 Speaker 4: but she was there. 159 00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:10,200 Speaker 3: And so you just kind of mentioned what did that 160 00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:14,960 Speaker 3: give to yourself? That's given you more independence? Yeah, yeah, 161 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:19,720 Speaker 3: that's really cool. Wow, because you definitely are very independent. 162 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:21,200 Speaker 5: Literally my. 163 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:28,600 Speaker 3: Okay, that's really good. Anything else is gonna happen in 164 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:32,560 Speaker 3: the next year, anything around another family member, another friend 165 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:39,040 Speaker 3: did something unexpected to come from being independent. 166 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:41,360 Speaker 4: Not that I can remember. It was like really long 167 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:42,640 Speaker 4: ago now yep. 168 00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:47,920 Speaker 3: But if you get stuck, close your eyes and have 169 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,880 Speaker 3: a little thing start digging around. 170 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:55,079 Speaker 4: I stopped using this really toxic ap. It was called kick. 171 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:59,160 Speaker 4: I don't know if people remember that kick, Like it 172 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,240 Speaker 4: was called kik or something like that. It was like 173 00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:06,960 Speaker 4: a little green messaging app for kids, and I think 174 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,280 Speaker 4: I realized how toxic it was because of how mean 175 00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:12,080 Speaker 4: everyone was to each other on it, Like we were 176 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:15,040 Speaker 4: all thirteen fourteen, but people would have like group chats 177 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:19,240 Speaker 4: and then make group chats excluding people. And I really 178 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:21,640 Speaker 4: felt that when I didn't get to speak to my 179 00:10:21,679 --> 00:10:23,480 Speaker 4: friends for a few weeks because they would make group 180 00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:26,480 Speaker 4: chats and not have me in them, and that felt 181 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:29,439 Speaker 4: really shit. So I guess I came out the other 182 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:31,360 Speaker 4: side going, oh, like, I don't want to have anything 183 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,840 Speaker 4: to do with that, so I got rid of it. 184 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:37,600 Speaker 3: So why do you reckon that's good in your eyes? 185 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:42,840 Speaker 4: I'm not super scared to delete social media, I guess, 186 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:46,960 Speaker 4: And I know that I haven't really deleted anything I 187 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,280 Speaker 4: have now, but it's because I don't feel it's toxic. 188 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,920 Speaker 4: But I'm not really scared to get rid of things 189 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:55,440 Speaker 4: that are toxic out of like fomo or like fear 190 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:58,400 Speaker 4: of missing out. I guess it's not really a thing 191 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:03,160 Speaker 4: that I really feel, because what am I missing if 192 00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:04,360 Speaker 4: I don't want to be there? 193 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:08,959 Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, so it sounds really strong willed. Yeah, you 194 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:10,000 Speaker 3: able to speak up? 195 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:10,800 Speaker 4: Yeah? 196 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,000 Speaker 3: All right? So is there any other good things? 197 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:17,240 Speaker 4: I think those are probably the main things. They're all 198 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:19,240 Speaker 4: really big things. I'm really shocked. 199 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:22,880 Speaker 3: There might be some more, Okay, there's usually Yeah. 200 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:27,720 Speaker 4: I think it came out very compassionate because I knew 201 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:31,400 Speaker 4: what it felt like to be treated in a not 202 00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:37,520 Speaker 4: nice way, and I wanted to make sure that I 203 00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:40,560 Speaker 4: was never the reason that someone else felt that way, 204 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:42,720 Speaker 4: or if I could see someone else feeling that way, 205 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:45,320 Speaker 4: I did something about it to help them not feel 206 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:45,720 Speaker 4: that way. 207 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:49,840 Speaker 3: Yep, that's awesome. Yeah, that's really nice. Did you receive 208 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:56,400 Speaker 3: any good luck from this? Being so strong willed and independent? 209 00:11:56,600 --> 00:12:00,920 Speaker 3: And something kind of happened the next like in that 210 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:08,720 Speaker 3: year from that in school, maybe in a holiday with 211 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:09,400 Speaker 3: your family. 212 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:13,240 Speaker 4: The two weeks the speak to me were exam weeks, 213 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:17,720 Speaker 4: so I got really good grades. Got my first day plus, 214 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:21,240 Speaker 4: nailed the science exam. 215 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:25,920 Speaker 3: How crazy is that? That crazy? 216 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:28,000 Speaker 4: And that was the only A plus I got all school, 217 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:33,400 Speaker 4: So that was really good. 218 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 3: That's really good. 219 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,079 Speaker 4: It was. I also learned the benefit of not talking 220 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:46,920 Speaker 4: to my friends in class a little thing, but and 221 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,760 Speaker 4: I didn't have a problem sitting by myself after that. Like, 222 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,679 Speaker 4: if I ever really wanted to focus in class for 223 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:54,040 Speaker 4: the rest of the year, I would literally say love 224 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:55,720 Speaker 4: you guys. I'm going to go sit at the front 225 00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:59,560 Speaker 4: by myself and I'd get my work done. So I learned, yeah, 226 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:02,160 Speaker 4: how to it by myself, be by myself. And I 227 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:05,520 Speaker 4: guess that not spending time away from my friends didn't 228 00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:06,760 Speaker 4: mean I'm not their friend anymore. 229 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:08,320 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that's cool. 230 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:11,040 Speaker 4: And I didn't need to be with them all the time, 231 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,760 Speaker 4: which I think in school was just like a really 232 00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:15,480 Speaker 4: big thing to learn, whereas like as an adult, it 233 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:16,320 Speaker 4: feels so normal. 234 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:21,000 Speaker 6: But yeah, so you've used I feel like you would 235 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:25,400 Speaker 6: have used all these things every time this trauma would 236 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,640 Speaker 6: come up, if something would happen. 237 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,600 Speaker 4: Yeah, Like I didn't really get bullied again. 238 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:33,280 Speaker 3: After that, that's cool, that's awesome. 239 00:13:34,559 --> 00:13:36,400 Speaker 4: I actually didn't realize that until it was done. 240 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:39,559 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I reckon, we get a lot. Yeah, that 241 00:13:39,679 --> 00:13:41,960 Speaker 3: is a lot of good for one memory. So you've 242 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:46,360 Speaker 3: done very well. I'm going to read back everything. So 243 00:13:46,679 --> 00:13:51,160 Speaker 3: this really bad memory has given you made you a 244 00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:55,480 Speaker 3: kind of person. It's made you more resilient, It's given 245 00:13:55,520 --> 00:14:01,360 Speaker 3: you stronger friendships, communicate. You're a lot better communicating with friends. 246 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:05,080 Speaker 3: It's made you close with your mum. Your mum's given 247 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:09,120 Speaker 3: you more support and she's given you a safe space, 248 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:13,520 Speaker 3: gotten independence, which is massive. It stopped you from using 249 00:14:13,559 --> 00:14:18,960 Speaker 3: a toxic app, just led you into your strong wills. 250 00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:23,960 Speaker 3: You speak up now, you're compassionate to other people around 251 00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:28,080 Speaker 3: these sorts of bad memories. You got you good grades 252 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,640 Speaker 3: for the two weeks and you got your first A. 253 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:33,400 Speaker 3: That's pretty cool. 254 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:38,160 Speaker 4: I got a before that, just not a plus. 255 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:43,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's so cool. And then from that it's given 256 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:47,960 Speaker 3: you another benefit of being able to get stuck into 257 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:51,000 Speaker 3: your work and not be around your friends and put 258 00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:56,800 Speaker 3: up boundaries. So that's pretty cool. So with that, with 259 00:14:56,920 --> 00:15:01,400 Speaker 3: this bad memory, do you want to keep this bad 260 00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:03,960 Speaker 3: memory or do you want to get rid of it? 261 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:06,480 Speaker 3: Like if you could just magically get rid of it, 262 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:09,080 Speaker 3: you could just do it right now. Or do you 263 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:11,600 Speaker 3: want to keep this bad memory because if you get 264 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,840 Speaker 3: rid of this memory, you're going to lose all these 265 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:16,520 Speaker 3: good things about your identity. 266 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:26,000 Speaker 4: Oh I'd keep it, yeah, heck yeah, I'd keep yeah. Wow. 267 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:31,920 Speaker 3: Yeah. So that's pretty powerful to consciously know that whenever 268 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:35,920 Speaker 3: there's a bad memory or something, you're always going to 269 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:36,440 Speaker 3: get good. 270 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:38,120 Speaker 2: Wow. 271 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:40,000 Speaker 3: Any bad memory, there's always good. 272 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:43,000 Speaker 4: I'm just like so mind blown because I feel like 273 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:46,520 Speaker 4: I literally went into this going there's no way anything 274 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:49,280 Speaker 4: good came out of this because my relationship with my 275 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:54,040 Speaker 4: body hasn't resolved, but didn't think about the fact that 276 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:59,000 Speaker 4: other good things could have come from it. Yep, it wow, Yep, 277 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:00,960 Speaker 4: that's actually crazy. 278 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:01,240 Speaker 2: Yep. 279 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:06,120 Speaker 3: That's just your subconscious protecting you. Whenever these come this 280 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:09,240 Speaker 3: memory comes up, it's saying, hey, we're going to put 281 00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:11,240 Speaker 3: you in a survival move and you're going to get 282 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:15,080 Speaker 3: all these things again and be these sorts of these 283 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:18,440 Speaker 3: sorts of dot dot points from now on. And yeah, 284 00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:20,200 Speaker 3: it's weird how subconscious works. 285 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:22,800 Speaker 4: So it doesn't want me to know that it was 286 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:23,840 Speaker 4: a good experience. 287 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:26,880 Speaker 3: Well, it's keeping it as a bad memory for all 288 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:31,080 Speaker 3: of this to happen again. But consciously it will come up. 289 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:33,440 Speaker 3: You can't stop it from coming up. But when it 290 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:35,840 Speaker 3: comes up, you can say, from now on, you can 291 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:40,240 Speaker 3: say thank you, thank you subconscious for bringing it up. 292 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:43,200 Speaker 3: But I got all these good things from it. Wow. 293 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:46,600 Speaker 3: And then you can move on and not get triggered 294 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:49,160 Speaker 3: so hard the next time. And yeah, so you can 295 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:53,120 Speaker 3: keep this memory, keep it tight, and have gratitude to it. 296 00:16:53,800 --> 00:17:00,640 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, whoa cool. Yeah, I'm going to hand 297 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:01,480 Speaker 4: over to Georgina. 298 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:10,119 Speaker 3: Now, hello, Georgina, Hello, thanks for joining me today. Let's 299 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:15,080 Speaker 3: rip straight in and know you overheard everything, So let's 300 00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:16,679 Speaker 3: start with your bad memory. 301 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:20,880 Speaker 5: Okay, So my memory is also a high school related one, yep. 302 00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:24,439 Speaker 5: And there was this rumor that was going around about me, 303 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:28,760 Speaker 5: but it was off the back of probably behavior I 304 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,959 Speaker 5: wasn't proud of, so I was already a bit conscious 305 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,720 Speaker 5: of that, and then this rumor kind of spread. And 306 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:37,320 Speaker 5: then one day in class, I had this group of 307 00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:39,119 Speaker 5: friends that we'd always sit together, and we'd sit in 308 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:42,000 Speaker 5: like a desk of four, and I walked into the 309 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:45,359 Speaker 5: class and they purposely so I could see it, moved 310 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:48,240 Speaker 5: their desks away from me. So I was by myself, 311 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:51,080 Speaker 5: like there was one desk and there was their three, 312 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:53,480 Speaker 5: and they were just like staring at me, and the 313 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:58,400 Speaker 5: whole class looked at me, and it was just very embarrassing. Fine, 314 00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:01,080 Speaker 5: so you got pushed out, Yeah, like purposely. 315 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:09,040 Speaker 3: Okay, that's horrible for starters, like again, kids, so cruel. Yeah, 316 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:15,040 Speaker 3: it's so bad. Do you mind me asking what you did? 317 00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:17,960 Speaker 3: You don't have to share, this is a safe space. 318 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:22,320 Speaker 5: It was more so I think me just being a 319 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:26,560 Speaker 5: teenager and wanting to get attention from boys, from people. 320 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:28,480 Speaker 5: I just wanted to be seen. 321 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:29,200 Speaker 3: Yep. 322 00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:32,520 Speaker 5: And I think I just did stuff that probably wasn't 323 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:34,400 Speaker 5: the best behavior. 324 00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:40,040 Speaker 3: Okay, that's all right, the share, that's all right. So 325 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,560 Speaker 3: what you just did, like a few bad things. 326 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:46,119 Speaker 5: Yeah, just wasn't a bit of a rebel phase, I guess, 327 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:49,720 Speaker 5: but I know that it was. The behavior wasn't necessarily 328 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,600 Speaker 5: aligned either, Like I felt a bit shameful about what 329 00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:55,720 Speaker 5: I had done. Yeah, So then there was like that element, 330 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:59,520 Speaker 5: and then because of that, there was this getting excluded 331 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,800 Speaker 5: and like every one kind of hating me. So it 332 00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:05,440 Speaker 5: was just like tied up thing of like guilt, being embarrassed, 333 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:06,879 Speaker 5: the exclusion. 334 00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:07,880 Speaker 3: All that kind of stuff. 335 00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:13,840 Speaker 5: Okay, So I am just a very friendly, happy person, 336 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:16,760 Speaker 5: and I was probably a little bit maybe too flirty 337 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:19,800 Speaker 5: with people's boyfriends or people that you know, my friends 338 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:22,720 Speaker 5: were protective overall, owned or whatever you want to say. 339 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,200 Speaker 5: So that kind of came across that I had a 340 00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:28,399 Speaker 5: bit of a reputation of you know, choosing boys of 341 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:32,440 Speaker 5: a friends or like that kind of vibe, which when 342 00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:35,280 Speaker 5: you're that age as a teenage girl, if you've let 343 00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:37,480 Speaker 5: with someone's boyfriend, Like it's like the worst thing ever, 344 00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:41,320 Speaker 5: you know, like, how dare you blah blah blah. 345 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:44,439 Speaker 3: It can only be like that in your head. No 346 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:48,200 Speaker 3: one else's so for you. That was a really bad thing. 347 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:54,439 Speaker 3: But it's very common. Everyone does it, I'm telling you, Like, 348 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:57,639 Speaker 3: we've all might have done it in some sort of 349 00:19:57,680 --> 00:20:01,520 Speaker 3: way but not even knowing it as well. Yeah, don't 350 00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:05,040 Speaker 3: feel a shame of it, because it's there for a 351 00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:08,280 Speaker 3: reason in your head. And yet, like who doesn't like 352 00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:09,320 Speaker 3: getting attention. 353 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:13,399 Speaker 5: Especially when you're like a teenage girl, I like, or 354 00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:15,800 Speaker 5: any teenager, that's what you do. Everyone's just trying to 355 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,159 Speaker 5: look good, get attention, be popular, all that kind of stuff. 356 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,080 Speaker 5: And it was just that whole cycle. 357 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:24,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's definitely common. Thanks for sharing. That's really brave. 358 00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:27,600 Speaker 3: What were the if you don't mind me asking, what 359 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:30,000 Speaker 3: were the rumors that were going around? 360 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:34,879 Speaker 5: So the rumors were based on like a bit of 361 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:38,520 Speaker 5: this weird reputation that I had gained kind of just 362 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:42,720 Speaker 5: like being flooding with people's boyfriends, you know, just behavior 363 00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:44,439 Speaker 5: you do it that age to get attention and to 364 00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:47,679 Speaker 5: stand out and stuff like that. But it eventually turned 365 00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:50,680 Speaker 5: into like a bit of a slut shaming thing where 366 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:54,080 Speaker 5: like we go out to like sporting events and stuff 367 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:57,200 Speaker 5: and people would chant things about me with my name 368 00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:59,679 Speaker 5: and it in relation to like inappropriate things, and it 369 00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:03,320 Speaker 5: just and it turned into this reputation that I felt 370 00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:07,000 Speaker 5: like wasn't warranted. You know, like I was doing behavior 371 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,080 Speaker 5: that I feel like a lot of girls do at 372 00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:13,199 Speaker 5: that age, but for some reason for me, you know, 373 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:14,080 Speaker 5: he gotcha. 374 00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:16,479 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's crazy. 375 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:22,720 Speaker 5: Yeah, rumors at school, right in a female Catholic school, Yep. 376 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:23,480 Speaker 2: Not good. 377 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:27,960 Speaker 3: But yes, I think this is definitely it's normal. I 378 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,720 Speaker 3: feel like there would be I'm not I wouldn't know, 379 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:34,679 Speaker 3: but with the girls around me, yeah, I feel like 380 00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:37,760 Speaker 3: that would happen a lot. So you're not alone. It's 381 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:40,720 Speaker 3: not like you're the bad person here, and it doesn't 382 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:44,359 Speaker 3: seem like you actually have done anything bad but just 383 00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:47,120 Speaker 3: want to get a bit of tension. Yeah, and that's harmless. 384 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:51,879 Speaker 3: So it's all good. And I appreciate you being vulnerable 385 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:54,800 Speaker 3: and sharing this with everyone. It's really really cool and 386 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:59,760 Speaker 3: hopefully let's to the end of it. And yeah, let's 387 00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:04,520 Speaker 3: see now we already said the big question is what 388 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:09,240 Speaker 3: is the good things that have come from this bad memory. 389 00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:14,320 Speaker 5: Oh, this is checky. I suppose a little bit of 390 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:18,159 Speaker 5: like independence, like I as a result, I kind of 391 00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:22,400 Speaker 5: turned very inwood. I became like I always had this 392 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:25,919 Speaker 5: weird feeling of being a little bit different and isolated 393 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:28,960 Speaker 5: and alone, so this kind of just cemented that. So 394 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:33,120 Speaker 5: then I became a very independent self person. 395 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:39,399 Speaker 3: That's awesome. That's awesome. Independence. It's a really good skill 396 00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:44,040 Speaker 3: to have, Like when you get into adulthood you need it. 397 00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:49,880 Speaker 3: So that's awesome. What else, what kind of person did 398 00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:52,680 Speaker 3: you become? Then? Another strength? 399 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:57,760 Speaker 5: I suppose I was a little bit more aware of 400 00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:03,919 Speaker 5: my behavior and how much that could, you know, spread 401 00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:06,560 Speaker 5: and affect others and give me an image and all 402 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:09,760 Speaker 5: this kind of stuff. So I was more aware of 403 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:11,800 Speaker 5: what I was doing and the repercussions of that. 404 00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:17,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's really cool, that's awesome. What else did you 405 00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:21,960 Speaker 3: gain any Did any of your friendships blossom or you 406 00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:27,040 Speaker 3: gain any more? Definitely not more? No more. Maybe that 407 00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:29,120 Speaker 3: was a good thing. Yeah was it a good thing? 408 00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:34,000 Speaker 5: I feel like it probably was. But then me wanting 409 00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:36,800 Speaker 5: to be in this group and be included, I then 410 00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:40,119 Speaker 5: became friends with those people again, you know, like I 411 00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:44,119 Speaker 5: tried hard to work my way back up and be 412 00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:46,720 Speaker 5: liked again and be included in the group again. 413 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:51,040 Speaker 3: So you heard what your friends were saying and then 414 00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:53,600 Speaker 3: you adapted to it and you're pivoted. 415 00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:55,679 Speaker 5: Well, yeah, because there was like the thing with the 416 00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:58,520 Speaker 5: desks and the exclusion, and then it was just kind 417 00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:00,560 Speaker 5: of this weird vibe in my friendship group because a 418 00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:02,840 Speaker 5: few of the girls I was closer with wanted to 419 00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:04,919 Speaker 5: support me, and they were still being nice to me, 420 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:06,520 Speaker 5: but they also were kind of like in a bit 421 00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:08,800 Speaker 5: of a hard position, and then the other half of 422 00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,440 Speaker 5: the group like, we don't want to bar of her. 423 00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:12,800 Speaker 5: So I just kind of would sit at lunch and 424 00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:14,480 Speaker 5: just like sit on the edge and not say anything 425 00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:17,080 Speaker 5: and just waited until it like died down or went away, 426 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:19,679 Speaker 5: and then I kind of just slowly tried to like 427 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:21,240 Speaker 5: schmooze back. 428 00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:25,920 Speaker 3: Why do you think that's good? Why has that helped 429 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:32,480 Speaker 3: you be more? I guess adaptable, adaptable and like fitting 430 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:34,639 Speaker 3: in with the crowds. That has that helped you? 431 00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:35,200 Speaker 4: Yeah? 432 00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:39,439 Speaker 5: Like I'm very aware of people's body language and the 433 00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:42,399 Speaker 5: vibe they're giving off, and I can pick up on 434 00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:45,040 Speaker 5: energies and things like that, So I feel like I'm 435 00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:49,640 Speaker 5: able to adapt and tailor my communication and body language 436 00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:51,520 Speaker 5: and stuff back to people. 437 00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:54,880 Speaker 3: So able to listen to people a bit more and 438 00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:57,600 Speaker 3: take a step back and have a look at what 439 00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:58,760 Speaker 3: people are doing. Very much. 440 00:24:58,800 --> 00:24:59,960 Speaker 5: I'm a big observe. 441 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:04,399 Speaker 3: Well, that's really cool. That's a really good strength to 442 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:08,160 Speaker 3: like sit back listen to people, because you gain knowledge 443 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:11,480 Speaker 3: if you're the person that's always knows the answer and 444 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:13,280 Speaker 3: you're always in front of people and that sort of 445 00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:16,280 Speaker 3: thing you never learn because you're telling the story. So 446 00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:18,480 Speaker 3: sitting back and listening that's awesome. 447 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,240 Speaker 5: Yeah, it definitely helped me like take a step back 448 00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:24,720 Speaker 5: and not want to be in the limelight as much, 449 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,280 Speaker 5: you know, like ye, if anything, I'm like, I'm happy 450 00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:29,480 Speaker 5: to not be the center of attention at all. 451 00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:32,639 Speaker 3: And that worked for you. That's really cool. Cool, So 452 00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:36,600 Speaker 3: maybe following that, like the next few months, what are 453 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:40,160 Speaker 3: some good things that have come from it? Like as 454 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:42,000 Speaker 3: a person, even at. 455 00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:45,520 Speaker 5: Home, I feel like I can't remember much good coming 456 00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:48,120 Speaker 5: of it, like now reflecting back and saying those things, yes, 457 00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:51,639 Speaker 5: but I have memories of the following period after that 458 00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:54,399 Speaker 5: where it was like pretty bad, Like I remember crying 459 00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:56,480 Speaker 5: on the bus home from school and just being really 460 00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:59,440 Speaker 5: angry with my family and at home, Like I feel 461 00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:02,439 Speaker 5: like it gave me a anger For a while, it. 462 00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:06,560 Speaker 3: Was just how did that anger serve you? It's another thing, 463 00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:10,359 Speaker 3: like that's something bad. What did you get from that anger? 464 00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:15,960 Speaker 5: Probably like I feel like I became a bit more 465 00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:19,480 Speaker 5: stand up for my selfie, you know, like I was 466 00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:22,359 Speaker 5: less of a maybe a bit less of a pushover 467 00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:25,919 Speaker 5: or like I remember speaking a bit more to my 468 00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:28,280 Speaker 5: family and like saying what I thought a bit more 469 00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:31,480 Speaker 5: and it kind of a bit more of a boldness, 470 00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:31,880 Speaker 5: I guess. 471 00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:37,359 Speaker 3: Yep, confidence is massive. What else that's awesome? The next 472 00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:40,640 Speaker 3: couple of years, did you get any good luck from it? 473 00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:42,439 Speaker 3: Is it just questions? It doesn't happen? 474 00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:47,280 Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, good, I suppose. An interesting thing is after that, 475 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:50,919 Speaker 5: I got into a relationship that was like quite a 476 00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:53,000 Speaker 5: serious one that I had for the next five years, 477 00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:56,879 Speaker 5: and if anything, I turned like the other way where 478 00:26:57,359 --> 00:26:58,919 Speaker 5: I kind of like all my friends were going to 479 00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:00,879 Speaker 5: festivals and all that kind of stuff, and I just 480 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:05,680 Speaker 5: completely like missed that whole section because I like, low 481 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:07,960 Speaker 5: key turned into a little housewife. 482 00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:08,920 Speaker 3: Very cool. 483 00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:12,680 Speaker 5: Yeah, which is interesting because it's only really I'm thinking 484 00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:15,000 Speaker 5: about that now that I was kind of so far 485 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:18,879 Speaker 5: that way, had this experience and then got into this 486 00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:22,520 Speaker 5: relationship and like really settled down. And then I also 487 00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,879 Speaker 5: kind of distanced myself from my friends because they were 488 00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:27,000 Speaker 5: going out a lot of partying and doing all that 489 00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:28,119 Speaker 5: and I didn't do that. 490 00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:30,840 Speaker 3: Wow, So that was good for you. That kept you 491 00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:33,680 Speaker 3: more of a good, good girl in your eyes. Yeah, 492 00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:37,840 Speaker 3: I guess, so that's really cool. That's amazing. What else 493 00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:40,359 Speaker 3: there's going to be some more? Does that helped you 494 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:46,240 Speaker 3: later on in life getting a job or after school 495 00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:49,000 Speaker 3: give you a clear vision of what you wanted to 496 00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:51,160 Speaker 3: be in your life? Yeah? 497 00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:56,160 Speaker 5: I guess like I had a few experiences like that afterwards, 498 00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:58,680 Speaker 5: which taught me what I didn't want. I feel like 499 00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:02,160 Speaker 5: I've had a bit of a few little chameleon sessions. 500 00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:04,440 Speaker 5: Like I then got out of that relationship and went 501 00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:07,280 Speaker 5: the other way again, not into partying, but then I 502 00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:09,760 Speaker 5: kind of like got really into wanting to be an 503 00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:12,040 Speaker 5: entrepreneur and like did a lot of study and research 504 00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:16,840 Speaker 5: and kind of like had another identity change. I guess. 505 00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:20,640 Speaker 5: So I suppose it's helped me yet, like that adaptability 506 00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:23,520 Speaker 5: piece of being able to kind of go with how 507 00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:27,800 Speaker 5: I'm feeling in each season and know that I can change. 508 00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:29,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, because you get that independent. 509 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:31,560 Speaker 5: Yeah, very independent. 510 00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:35,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, pivot. Yeah that's very cool. Yeah, it has really 511 00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:38,200 Speaker 3: shaped you into the woom when you are today. Something 512 00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:42,200 Speaker 3: so small and such a bad memory that, Yeah, we 513 00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,880 Speaker 3: hold onto these sorts of things, but it's there for 514 00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:48,240 Speaker 3: a reason. It's showing us that we don't want to 515 00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:51,200 Speaker 3: do that again, Like it's we don't want to be shamed. 516 00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:54,680 Speaker 3: And yeah, so that's really cool. Is there anything else 517 00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:58,400 Speaker 3: if you need to close your eyes and have a 518 00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:00,080 Speaker 3: thing dive through your memory. 519 00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:03,520 Speaker 5: No, I'm a lot more, like I feel, like perceptive 520 00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:07,320 Speaker 5: of like people's feelings and stuff. Yeah, like I'm a 521 00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:10,760 Speaker 5: lot more aware of people, how they're acting, how they're behaving, 522 00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:12,240 Speaker 5: what it could mean, all that kind of stuff. 523 00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:18,080 Speaker 3: Yeap, all right, so this bad memory of there's a 524 00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:20,240 Speaker 3: lot of room. He's going around in school and you've 525 00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:27,920 Speaker 3: been shamed and you're being called bad things in front 526 00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:30,800 Speaker 3: of everyone and they weren't true and it's not who 527 00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:36,760 Speaker 3: you are, and yeah, that's so horrible to have that 528 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:39,880 Speaker 3: and keep holding it as a bad memory. But from 529 00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:44,840 Speaker 3: that you've got independence. You are more aware of the 530 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:48,960 Speaker 3: repercussions of your actions. So it made you're a better 531 00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:53,320 Speaker 3: person in your in your mind, made you a better 532 00:29:53,440 --> 00:30:00,080 Speaker 3: listener and observer. So you're able to soaking knowledge and 533 00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:04,800 Speaker 3: visualize the room and kind of gain gain everything and 534 00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:08,440 Speaker 3: not Yeah, bit that spotlight person which has probably helped 535 00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:12,760 Speaker 3: you a lot. Assume you're able to stand up for yourself, 536 00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:16,480 Speaker 3: like as a woman, I think that's massive. Yeah, I 537 00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:20,080 Speaker 3: feel like that's something that is a really good strength 538 00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:24,719 Speaker 3: for a male as well, but yes, for women, that's awesome. 539 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:29,560 Speaker 3: You've got confidence. That's massive to have confidence and everything 540 00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:32,600 Speaker 3: throughout your life. It's always Yeah, triggered that up and 541 00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:37,040 Speaker 3: given you confidence. You've got a relationship for five years, 542 00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:42,920 Speaker 3: so it must have been pretty good at that time. Yes, yeah, 543 00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:45,880 Speaker 3: Well it got you away from the partying and that 544 00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:48,480 Speaker 3: sort of thing, and at the time maybe that was 545 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:51,720 Speaker 3: just what you needed and that's the journey you were on. 546 00:30:52,040 --> 00:30:54,800 Speaker 3: So that was really cool. And then from that you're 547 00:30:54,840 --> 00:31:00,000 Speaker 3: held and you got an identity change after that relationship 548 00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:04,000 Speaker 3: ship from that bad memory in a way that's really cool. 549 00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:07,080 Speaker 3: You're able to pivot in your life a lot easier, 550 00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:09,800 Speaker 3: and I guess and you've used that a lot in 551 00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:12,440 Speaker 3: your life, and you're able to pivot pretty fast and 552 00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:17,160 Speaker 3: adapt and yeah, so that's really cool. You're more aware 553 00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:20,960 Speaker 3: of other people's actions as well to doing the same 554 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:24,520 Speaker 3: sort of thing. You're more aware of it, and that's 555 00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:29,280 Speaker 3: really cool. So having all these good things from this 556 00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:33,800 Speaker 3: one bad memory. Would you keep this bad memory? 557 00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:34,880 Speaker 5: I think I will keep it. 558 00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:36,760 Speaker 3: It would keep it, I would keep it. Yeah, how 559 00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:37,320 Speaker 3: cool is that? 560 00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:40,200 Speaker 5: It's so cool. It's not until you give it the 561 00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:43,240 Speaker 5: time and energy and spotlight to think about it in 562 00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:46,719 Speaker 5: a different way that you actually realize all of this stuff, 563 00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:49,160 Speaker 5: because it always just comes up as like a fleeting 564 00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:52,560 Speaker 5: memory of like you know, you always get excluded or 565 00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:55,880 Speaker 5: you know whatever your internal dialogue says. When you reframe 566 00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:57,280 Speaker 5: it like this, it's so powerful. 567 00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:00,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, so use it when it comes up again, take 568 00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:03,640 Speaker 3: a moment, take a step back, do some breath work. 569 00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:07,440 Speaker 3: That's a good thing when you're doing If you were 570 00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:11,840 Speaker 3: to do this with anyone else, and because yeah, it's 571 00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:14,600 Speaker 3: not harmful, like to do this with your friends, and 572 00:32:15,680 --> 00:32:17,920 Speaker 3: it's a cool thing to do it, try and do 573 00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:20,800 Speaker 3: it to yourself, but it'd be pretty hard. But yeah, 574 00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:27,640 Speaker 3: just to have that gratitude with a certain memory, Yeah. 575 00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:28,720 Speaker 5: I can't fit to do this with other memories. I 576 00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:31,080 Speaker 5: think you're right. You need someone to kind of counteract 577 00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:32,440 Speaker 5: your mind and bounce off. 578 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, to have a talk about it and choose that 579 00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:41,040 Speaker 3: person wisely. And I wouldn't recommend to go on a 580 00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:43,920 Speaker 3: really bad memory because it might send you into a 581 00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:47,920 Speaker 3: big trigger. I would personally just do more smaller. Yeah, 582 00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:50,080 Speaker 3: these sorts of memories that are like a bit annoying, 583 00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:55,120 Speaker 3: Yeah you think so annoying, but yeah, the more traumatic ones, 584 00:32:55,600 --> 00:33:00,600 Speaker 3: please get a professional please, yes. And yeah, so I 585 00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:03,120 Speaker 3: am not a professional at this. I'm just learning this 586 00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:09,440 Speaker 3: sort of stuff. And I got this small exercise from 587 00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:14,440 Speaker 3: my coach Levi and yeah, I've used this a lot 588 00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:18,240 Speaker 3: for myself and the people around me, so it's really cool. 589 00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:23,280 Speaker 4: So yeah, what would be your top tips for someone 590 00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:28,600 Speaker 4: to maybe start unpacking something like this other than the questions. 591 00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:32,920 Speaker 3: You've just asked us? Well, first, to like do this 592 00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:36,840 Speaker 3: with someone that you're able to talk to that you 593 00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:39,280 Speaker 3: can be vulnerable. Definitely write it down so you can 594 00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:43,760 Speaker 3: go over it, and yeah, write more notes and get 595 00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:47,560 Speaker 3: more clear, because when you have something visual, you keep 596 00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:50,120 Speaker 3: that in your memory. When you're just talking, it doesn't 597 00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:53,800 Speaker 3: really store in your memory. So definitely write it down 598 00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:57,280 Speaker 3: and journal and just keep it to yourself and when 599 00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:59,520 Speaker 3: you need to look back on it, yeah, have a 600 00:33:59,560 --> 00:33:59,920 Speaker 3: little look. 601 00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:02,480 Speaker 5: And you know how when you were asking both a 602 00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:05,040 Speaker 5: t your and I about the good things that have 603 00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:07,200 Speaker 5: come from it, you kind of kept asking and you 604 00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:08,000 Speaker 5: were like, and what else? 605 00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:08,680 Speaker 7: And what else? 606 00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:12,239 Speaker 5: Like how did you know how far you could push 607 00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:13,960 Speaker 5: or how many things you wanted us to get out 608 00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:14,160 Speaker 5: of that? 609 00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:20,200 Speaker 3: Yeah? So like sometimes I've found when I've done this 610 00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:23,640 Speaker 3: on myself, I might only have like three or four 611 00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:27,319 Speaker 3: or something not as many. And I've really tried to 612 00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:32,280 Speaker 3: go down with help and maybe that's it. Maybe that's all. 613 00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:37,399 Speaker 3: And it might have made you think of another bad 614 00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:39,799 Speaker 3: memory or something might get you down the line, so 615 00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:46,880 Speaker 3: you can keep going. Just yeah, be careful. Yeah, it's 616 00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:48,399 Speaker 3: powerful stuff, this. 617 00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:49,080 Speaker 5: Stuff it is. 618 00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:52,000 Speaker 4: We hope you all enjoyed that episode, and thank you 619 00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:56,440 Speaker 4: Cooper for showing us that process and testing it out 620 00:34:56,480 --> 00:35:00,480 Speaker 4: on Georgina and I. I think it's something so interesting 621 00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:02,480 Speaker 4: that I even when you said it and you will 622 00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:05,239 Speaker 4: like bring a bad memory, I just didn't. I was like, 623 00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:08,520 Speaker 4: there's no way anything good could have come of it. 624 00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:11,440 Speaker 4: So it was a really amazing perspective shift and we're 625 00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:13,440 Speaker 4: so grateful that you shared it with us and we 626 00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:15,680 Speaker 4: can share with our community so that hopefully they can 627 00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:18,799 Speaker 4: do this themselves. Just another reminder that if it is 628 00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:21,439 Speaker 4: like a really traumatic memory to please see professional We're 629 00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:25,200 Speaker 4: not professionals. This is just personal experience. 630 00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:28,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely. Yeah, thanks for having me on. Thanks for 631 00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:33,200 Speaker 3: being so vulnerable and sharing your memories because that can 632 00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:36,680 Speaker 3: be really hard. So both of you, thank you very much. 633 00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:40,160 Speaker 4: Thank you so much. Cooper And if you guys have 634 00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:43,399 Speaker 4: any more questions or if you want Cooper's coach leave, 635 00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:46,120 Speaker 4: ion will pop up a threat in the Facebook group 636 00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:48,160 Speaker 4: and we can ask ask them all there, and next 637 00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:50,319 Speaker 4: time we get Cooper on will answer some for you. 638 00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:54,120 Speaker 3: Yep, ask me some more questions as well, because I 639 00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:56,200 Speaker 3: don't have a lot. If you want me to come 640 00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:58,919 Speaker 3: back on, maybe some more questions for next time. 641 00:35:59,160 --> 00:35:59,600 Speaker 4: Amazing. 642 00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:06,680 Speaker 7: Bye, Hey everyone, bye, Thanks, thank you so much for 643 00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:10,400 Speaker 7: listening to another episode of the Rise and Conquer podcast. 644 00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:13,480 Speaker 1: If you enjoyed it and want more, come connect with 645 00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:18,680 Speaker 1: us on Instagram at Riseinconquer dot podcast and join our 646 00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:23,000 Speaker 1: Facebook discussion group a Rise and Concer podcast community. We're 647 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,880 Speaker 1: an independent podcast and we have a small team so 648 00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:28,840 Speaker 1: we do appreciate your time and support. If you have 649 00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:32,960 Speaker 1: a spare moment, a follow or subscribe on whatever platform 650 00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:36,839 Speaker 1: you listen to would be so amazing. And look, if 651 00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:40,759 Speaker 1: you're feeling extra kind, a review on Apple Podcasts would 652 00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:41,320 Speaker 1: be great.