WEBVTT - MINI: Kid's Parties

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<v Speaker 1>A Christian O'Connell show podcast. We're trying and pick a

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<v Speaker 1>song that sums up the story of our weekend. Patsy,

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<v Speaker 1>how is it for you? Big weekend for your family?

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<v Speaker 2>We had a massive weekend. We had Audrey's tenth birthday party,

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<v Speaker 2>my little girl, and we went out for pizza with

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<v Speaker 2>about fifteen screaming girls. They just they've only got one

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<v Speaker 2>way to speak, and that is to speak very high.

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<v Speaker 1>Pitched screeching parts.

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<v Speaker 3>It is.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like, you know, beetle Mania and the women in

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<v Speaker 2>the crowd.

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<v Speaker 1>That you can understand because they're getting something about the Beatles,

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<v Speaker 1>one of the greatest fans of all time.

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<v Speaker 3>Pizza.

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<v Speaker 1>I am pretty good screech.

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<v Speaker 4>Especially if it's like a pizza huddle, one of those

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<v Speaker 4>self served dessert bars or you can eat.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's like lore the flies there.

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<v Speaker 3>It was just an uto hysteria.

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<v Speaker 2>And the venue we were in it was a great venue,

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<v Speaker 2>but it's you know, all these trendy polished floors, so

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<v Speaker 2>I think was absorbing the noise. But somehow they all

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<v Speaker 2>knew what each of them was saying. I swear there

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<v Speaker 2>were fifteen different conversations what.

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<v Speaker 1>About the mess on the floor as well, that's what

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<v Speaker 1>I always feel about. They just how is that like crust?

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<v Speaker 1>Are you just eating this the mad king and then

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<v Speaker 1>hurling it on the floor, on the floor, the drinks

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<v Speaker 1>get spelled. It's sort of sort of swinging at the table.

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<v Speaker 2>I had about three spillages. I had to get the

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<v Speaker 2>mop at one point, and.

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<v Speaker 1>They don't go, oh sorry, They just carry on talking.

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<v Speaker 3>And the noise.

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<v Speaker 2>I tell you how bad the noise was. It was

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<v Speaker 2>so bad. My poor dad, who's nearly eighty, has hearing

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<v Speaker 2>aids in both his years. He had to take them

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<v Speaker 2>out and put them back in the.

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<v Speaker 1>Box his ear drumps.

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<v Speaker 2>I couldn't handle it anyway. But then it just went

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<v Speaker 2>to a whole new level. They were having a bit

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<v Speaker 2>of a disco and Chris, my husband.

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<v Speaker 1>Was disorganized by you guys, or did they just start

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<v Speaker 1>having to discover the pizza? Are just going out for

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<v Speaker 1>a date with someone. There's fifteen kids, nine ten year olds,

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<v Speaker 1>just having a disco.

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<v Speaker 2>And Chris thought he'd show them how to do the

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<v Speaker 2>running Man because he likes to, you know, be a

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<v Speaker 2>cool dad.

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<v Speaker 3>And that was fine.

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<v Speaker 1>On the crest, Dad's got moved, that's got moved. The

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<v Speaker 1>floor clear the floor, clear through the table, get the

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<v Speaker 1>garlic right off the table. What did he do?

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<v Speaker 2>Did you kicked poor Alise in the shin one of

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<v Speaker 2>the little girls. She was okay doing the Running Man?

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<v Speaker 3>She's okay.

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<v Speaker 2>I have to say she's okay.

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<v Speaker 3>She just laughed it off. But it didn't look very

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<v Speaker 3>good to.

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<v Speaker 1>Find line between laughter and crying with a young chart anyway.

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<v Speaker 2>Then they wanted him to do some break dancing and

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<v Speaker 2>he said, I can't spin on my back anymore. Nether

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<v Speaker 2>spin on your back.

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<v Speaker 1>Great days are over. This is what my wife would

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<v Speaker 1>do that The always have to bring you down in

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<v Speaker 1>front of it. Still back.

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<v Speaker 2>On the dance floor on Saturday.

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<v Speaker 3>It was a mess.

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<v Speaker 1>Why didn't you film it? The image of Chris doing

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<v Speaker 1>the Running Man had taken out little was it? Poor

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<v Speaker 1>a leash Shoe podcast The Where I Be Loved God

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<v Speaker 1>taken out small child whilst showing them the Running Man.

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<v Speaker 1>I remember years ago, I think it was Lowis's ninth

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<v Speaker 1>or tenth birthday party and they had a pinata and uh,

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<v Speaker 1>they'd have been attacking it for like ten minutes, right,

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<v Speaker 1>and it wasn't Nothing was shifting, nothing was coming out.

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<v Speaker 1>And my wife went to me, Chris, why didn't you

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<v Speaker 1>just give it a couple of acts just to soften.

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<v Speaker 3>Up for them?

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<v Speaker 1>And I had this stick and I took such a

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<v Speaker 1>big sort of backswing. I sudden he's heard this. Look

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<v Speaker 1>around one the dad's Jeff. It literally bloodied his nose

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<v Speaker 1>to say, I can say this safe thing out on

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<v Speaker 1>the other side of the world actually really irritated dad

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<v Speaker 1>as well. Jeff. I said sorry, but secretly I wasn't

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<v Speaker 1>and he might have seen some of the other dads

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<v Speaker 1>looking at me going well I took out Jeff. Anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>it was when my daughter was into unicorn, so we

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<v Speaker 1>had a unicorn theme party the day at which my

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<v Speaker 1>wife had me an inflatable unicorn outfit. I had to

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<v Speaker 1>be in and just wander around. Why the kids punched

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<v Speaker 1>and kicked me. I'm having a great time. This song

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<v Speaker 1>was played over fifteen times. All they want here bad again?

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<v Speaker 3>Play it again?

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<v Speaker 1>Then kicking me in my pink inflatable unicorn. What kind

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<v Speaker 1>of punch kicking psycho?

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<v Speaker 3>No wonder you last down on Jeff image.

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<v Speaker 1>Screw you, Jeff. This is then twenty fifteen Saturday afternoon.

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<v Speaker 1>I had a stinking hangover as well. Just say as well.

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<v Speaker 1>This was just like est me off. Anyway over the weekend,

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<v Speaker 1>I still went this on Friday show. Friday nights, I

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<v Speaker 1>was in charge. My wife had gone away for the night,

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<v Speaker 1>just one night. This is how a little trust she

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<v Speaker 1>has in me. Right, She's like, have you got this?

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<v Speaker 1>I mean one is going to be over somewhere else,

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<v Speaker 1>one's going to be with you. Can you keep an

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<v Speaker 1>arm one of them? And I went, I've got this.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't need to worry. So I was getting text

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<v Speaker 1>messages every hour going, how's it going? Son? You don't

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<v Speaker 1>need to send any more of these messages.

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<v Speaker 3>Take a photo of the children there?

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<v Speaker 1>Still, yes, yeah, with today's newspaper. Anyway, the everything was

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<v Speaker 1>fine Friday night, and then Saturday morning, I said, why

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<v Speaker 1>don't we go out for breakfast and straight away, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>nice off like that. That was met with, oh god,

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<v Speaker 1>where do we have to go? It's somewhere you pick?

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<v Speaker 1>Can we pick it? Then they're arguing about what kind

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<v Speaker 1>of place when I'm now going to pick it? So

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<v Speaker 1>we go to have breakfast and actually made a note

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<v Speaker 1>right afterwards of everything we talked about in our hour

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<v Speaker 1>there having breakfast together. First of all, Billie Eilish and

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<v Speaker 1>whether or not she's been canceled, that's their world. They're

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<v Speaker 1>constant going to me, Oh no, I don't like the

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<v Speaker 1>posting on that she's been canceled. When is there a

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<v Speaker 1>center sort of database now to sort of just keep

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<v Speaker 1>up to speak? Why is she canceled?

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<v Speaker 4>It happened so fast as well. When you're a teenager,

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<v Speaker 4>you can I remember your daughter loved Billy Eish so much.

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<v Speaker 1>Now she's the official thing is she's not sure about

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<v Speaker 1>her anymore, and I'm like this is brutal, so billy honest.

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<v Speaker 1>Then there was a story they found on TikTok. TikTok

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<v Speaker 1>to them is the hell tume right? They just go

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<v Speaker 1>fant on TikTok like there's no follow up question, like

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<v Speaker 1>some child made up and filmed it and put it on.

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<v Speaker 1>That's not fact. There's nothing we checked there. Okay, it's

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<v Speaker 1>not truth. It's just a platform. TikTok isn't I it's

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<v Speaker 1>been carved in stone some video, I said. And we

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<v Speaker 1>were talking about past lives and I went, all right,

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<v Speaker 1>what's this come up at school? No TikTok And I

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<v Speaker 1>went there was a person on that said that when

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<v Speaker 1>there were two years of age. They hadn't spoken a

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<v Speaker 1>word straightway, this is bs and they looked at me, like, God,

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<v Speaker 1>what is it with your generation? I went here with

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<v Speaker 1>all the questions. I went, carry on, okay, this person

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<v Speaker 1>was saying when they were to Patsy Will believed when

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<v Speaker 1>this kid was apparently two years of age, right, she

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<v Speaker 1>suddenly she's hardly spoken.

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<v Speaker 3>Right.

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<v Speaker 1>She suddenly starts speaking fully formed sentences. As they're driving

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<v Speaker 1>on the road, she goes, oh, mummy, this is where

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<v Speaker 1>I died, and the seat belt and there were two

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<v Speaker 1>other cars. That starts to describe them all. The mom

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<v Speaker 1>gets home, she happens to google car accident on that

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<v Speaker 1>freeway and guess what word for word, everything this wordless

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<v Speaker 1>child said at the age of two came true. And

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<v Speaker 1>the kids were like, they were taking this night. This

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<v Speaker 1>is true, and I was thinking about that. Then we

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<v Speaker 1>started having an argument about a mini fridge. They want

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<v Speaker 1>a mini fridge in their rumper's room. And I said,

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<v Speaker 1>if you keep your bedrooms tidy for six weeks, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know where I got the six weeks from. That's

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<v Speaker 1>the kind of dad I am. I said, you can

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<v Speaker 1>have a mini fridge, they say, and so we're.

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<v Speaker 3>Arguing, thought like, I think of mini fridge as a

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<v Speaker 3>beer fridge.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow, I've got a horrible figure. I didn't want to ask.

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<v Speaker 1>It was kind of like I'm presuming it for energy

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<v Speaker 1>drinks and stuff like that. Shot up the carton draft

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<v Speaker 1>for fourteen and sixteen year old? Are you out of

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<v Speaker 1>beer up there this kennet. Guys, I've told you before

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<v Speaker 1>keep your bedrooms tidy and keep the beer fridge toped up.

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<v Speaker 3>We might as well build a full bar in here now.

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<v Speaker 1>We were arguing about that, and then they said, you've

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<v Speaker 1>got some food in your teeth. So then I sort

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<v Speaker 1>of strake me for a minute. And then we do

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<v Speaker 1>this all the time, by the way, to distract you.

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<v Speaker 1>Just so there's figny teeth there rarely is any fignity teeth.

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<v Speaker 1>Then I found out they've got a secret WhatsApp group

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<v Speaker 1>my wife and my daughter's called the Girls. So obviously

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not invited to do because I'm not one of

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<v Speaker 1>the girls.

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<v Speaker 3>Ah, they talk about you.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And then I couldn't I couldn't hide sat was.

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<v Speaker 1>I went, oh, right, well what were you chat about?

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<v Speaker 1>And they went look at his face, he's all sad.

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<v Speaker 1>Then they laughed at me, and I paid the bill

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<v Speaker 1>and I said, what a stressful situation it's just been

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<v Speaker 1>for an hour. So yeah, that was my weekend. Christian

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<v Speaker 1>Oconnell Christian O'Connell show