Speaker 1: A Christian O'Connell show podcast. We're trying and pick a
Speaker 1: song that sums up the story of our weekend. Patsy,
Speaker 1: how is it for you? Big weekend for your family?
Speaker 2: We had a massive weekend. We had Audrey's tenth birthday party,
Speaker 2: my little girl, and we went out for pizza with
Speaker 2: about fifteen screaming girls. They just they've only got one
Speaker 2: way to speak, and that is to speak very high.
Speaker 1: Pitched screeching parts.
Speaker 3: It is.
Speaker 2: It's like, you know, beetle Mania and the women in
Speaker 2: the crowd.
Speaker 1: That you can understand because they're getting something about the Beatles,
Speaker 1: one of the greatest fans of all time.
Speaker 3: Pizza.
Speaker 1: I am pretty good screech.
Speaker 4: Especially if it's like a pizza huddle, one of those
Speaker 4: self served dessert bars or you can eat.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like lore the flies there.
Speaker 3: It was just an uto hysteria.
Speaker 2: And the venue we were in it was a great venue,
Speaker 2: but it's you know, all these trendy polished floors, so
Speaker 2: I think was absorbing the noise. But somehow they all
Speaker 2: knew what each of them was saying. I swear there
Speaker 2: were fifteen different conversations what.
Speaker 1: About the mess on the floor as well, that's what
Speaker 1: I always feel about. They just how is that like crust?
Speaker 1: Are you just eating this the mad king and then
Speaker 1: hurling it on the floor, on the floor, the drinks
Speaker 1: get spelled. It's sort of sort of swinging at the table.
Speaker 2: I had about three spillages. I had to get the
Speaker 2: mop at one point, and.
Speaker 1: They don't go, oh sorry, They just carry on talking.
Speaker 3: And the noise.
Speaker 2: I tell you how bad the noise was. It was
Speaker 2: so bad. My poor dad, who's nearly eighty, has hearing
Speaker 2: aids in both his years. He had to take them
Speaker 2: out and put them back in the.
Speaker 1: Box his ear drumps.
Speaker 2: I couldn't handle it anyway. But then it just went
Speaker 2: to a whole new level. They were having a bit
Speaker 2: of a disco and Chris, my husband.
Speaker 1: Was disorganized by you guys, or did they just start
Speaker 1: having to discover the pizza? Are just going out for
Speaker 1: a date with someone. There's fifteen kids, nine ten year olds,
Speaker 1: just having a disco.
Speaker 2: And Chris thought he'd show them how to do the
Speaker 2: running Man because he likes to, you know, be a
Speaker 2: cool dad.
Speaker 3: And that was fine.
Speaker 1: On the crest, Dad's got moved, that's got moved. The
Speaker 1: floor clear the floor, clear through the table, get the
Speaker 1: garlic right off the table. What did he do?
Speaker 2: Did you kicked poor Alise in the shin one of
Speaker 2: the little girls. She was okay doing the Running Man?
Speaker 3: She's okay.
Speaker 2: I have to say she's okay.
Speaker 3: She just laughed it off. But it didn't look very
Speaker 3: good to.
Speaker 1: Find line between laughter and crying with a young chart anyway.
Speaker 2: Then they wanted him to do some break dancing and
Speaker 2: he said, I can't spin on my back anymore. Nether
Speaker 2: spin on your back.
Speaker 1: Great days are over. This is what my wife would
Speaker 1: do that The always have to bring you down in
Speaker 1: front of it. Still back.
Speaker 2: On the dance floor on Saturday.
Speaker 3: It was a mess.
Speaker 1: Why didn't you film it? The image of Chris doing
Speaker 1: the Running Man had taken out little was it? Poor
Speaker 1: a leash Shoe podcast The Where I Be Loved God
Speaker 1: taken out small child whilst showing them the Running Man.
Speaker 1: I remember years ago, I think it was Lowis's ninth
Speaker 1: or tenth birthday party and they had a pinata and uh,
Speaker 1: they'd have been attacking it for like ten minutes, right,
Speaker 1: and it wasn't Nothing was shifting, nothing was coming out.
Speaker 1: And my wife went to me, Chris, why didn't you
Speaker 1: just give it a couple of acts just to soften.
Speaker 3: Up for them?
Speaker 1: And I had this stick and I took such a
Speaker 1: big sort of backswing. I sudden he's heard this. Look
Speaker 1: around one the dad's Jeff. It literally bloodied his nose
Speaker 1: to say, I can say this safe thing out on
Speaker 1: the other side of the world actually really irritated dad
Speaker 1: as well. Jeff. I said sorry, but secretly I wasn't
Speaker 1: and he might have seen some of the other dads
Speaker 1: looking at me going well I took out Jeff. Anyway,
Speaker 1: it was when my daughter was into unicorn, so we
Speaker 1: had a unicorn theme party the day at which my
Speaker 1: wife had me an inflatable unicorn outfit. I had to
Speaker 1: be in and just wander around. Why the kids punched
Speaker 1: and kicked me. I'm having a great time. This song
Speaker 1: was played over fifteen times. All they want here bad again?
Speaker 3: Play it again?
Speaker 1: Then kicking me in my pink inflatable unicorn. What kind
Speaker 1: of punch kicking psycho?
Speaker 3: No wonder you last down on Jeff image.
Speaker 1: Screw you, Jeff. This is then twenty fifteen Saturday afternoon.
Speaker 1: I had a stinking hangover as well. Just say as well.
Speaker 1: This was just like est me off. Anyway over the weekend,
Speaker 1: I still went this on Friday show. Friday nights, I
Speaker 1: was in charge. My wife had gone away for the night,
Speaker 1: just one night. This is how a little trust she
Speaker 1: has in me. Right, She's like, have you got this?
Speaker 1: I mean one is going to be over somewhere else,
Speaker 1: one's going to be with you. Can you keep an
Speaker 1: arm one of them? And I went, I've got this.
Speaker 1: You don't need to worry. So I was getting text
Speaker 1: messages every hour going, how's it going? Son? You don't
Speaker 1: need to send any more of these messages.
Speaker 3: Take a photo of the children there?
Speaker 1: Still, yes, yeah, with today's newspaper. Anyway, the everything was
Speaker 1: fine Friday night, and then Saturday morning, I said, why
Speaker 1: don't we go out for breakfast and straight away, you know,
Speaker 1: nice off like that. That was met with, oh god,
Speaker 1: where do we have to go? It's somewhere you pick?
Speaker 1: Can we pick it? Then they're arguing about what kind
Speaker 1: of place when I'm now going to pick it? So
Speaker 1: we go to have breakfast and actually made a note
Speaker 1: right afterwards of everything we talked about in our hour
Speaker 1: there having breakfast together. First of all, Billie Eilish and
Speaker 1: whether or not she's been canceled, that's their world. They're
Speaker 1: constant going to me, Oh no, I don't like the
Speaker 1: posting on that she's been canceled. When is there a
Speaker 1: center sort of database now to sort of just keep
Speaker 1: up to speak? Why is she canceled?
Speaker 4: It happened so fast as well. When you're a teenager,
Speaker 4: you can I remember your daughter loved Billy Eish so much.
Speaker 1: Now she's the official thing is she's not sure about
Speaker 1: her anymore, and I'm like this is brutal, so billy honest.
Speaker 1: Then there was a story they found on TikTok. TikTok
Speaker 1: to them is the hell tume right? They just go
Speaker 1: fant on TikTok like there's no follow up question, like
Speaker 1: some child made up and filmed it and put it on.
Speaker 1: That's not fact. There's nothing we checked there. Okay, it's
Speaker 1: not truth. It's just a platform. TikTok isn't I it's
Speaker 1: been carved in stone some video, I said. And we
Speaker 1: were talking about past lives and I went, all right,
Speaker 1: what's this come up at school? No TikTok And I
Speaker 1: went there was a person on that said that when
Speaker 1: there were two years of age. They hadn't spoken a
Speaker 1: word straightway, this is bs and they looked at me, like, God,
Speaker 1: what is it with your generation? I went here with
Speaker 1: all the questions. I went, carry on, okay, this person
Speaker 1: was saying when they were to Patsy Will believed when
Speaker 1: this kid was apparently two years of age, right, she
Speaker 1: suddenly she's hardly spoken.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 1: She suddenly starts speaking fully formed sentences. As they're driving
Speaker 1: on the road, she goes, oh, mummy, this is where
Speaker 1: I died, and the seat belt and there were two
Speaker 1: other cars. That starts to describe them all. The mom
Speaker 1: gets home, she happens to google car accident on that
Speaker 1: freeway and guess what word for word, everything this wordless
Speaker 1: child said at the age of two came true. And
Speaker 1: the kids were like, they were taking this night. This
Speaker 1: is true, and I was thinking about that. Then we
Speaker 1: started having an argument about a mini fridge. They want
Speaker 1: a mini fridge in their rumper's room. And I said,
Speaker 1: if you keep your bedrooms tidy for six weeks, I
Speaker 1: don't know where I got the six weeks from. That's
Speaker 1: the kind of dad I am. I said, you can
Speaker 1: have a mini fridge, they say, and so we're.
Speaker 3: Arguing, thought like, I think of mini fridge as a
Speaker 3: beer fridge.
Speaker 1: Wow, I've got a horrible figure. I didn't want to ask.
Speaker 1: It was kind of like I'm presuming it for energy
Speaker 1: drinks and stuff like that. Shot up the carton draft
Speaker 1: for fourteen and sixteen year old? Are you out of
Speaker 1: beer up there this kennet. Guys, I've told you before
Speaker 1: keep your bedrooms tidy and keep the beer fridge toped up.
Speaker 3: We might as well build a full bar in here now.
Speaker 1: We were arguing about that, and then they said, you've
Speaker 1: got some food in your teeth. So then I sort
Speaker 1: of strake me for a minute. And then we do
Speaker 1: this all the time, by the way, to distract you.
Speaker 1: Just so there's figny teeth there rarely is any fignity teeth.
Speaker 1: Then I found out they've got a secret WhatsApp group
Speaker 1: my wife and my daughter's called the Girls. So obviously
Speaker 1: I'm not invited to do because I'm not one of
Speaker 1: the girls.
Speaker 3: Ah, they talk about you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And then I couldn't I couldn't hide sat was.
Speaker 1: I went, oh, right, well what were you chat about?
Speaker 1: And they went look at his face, he's all sad.
Speaker 1: Then they laughed at me, and I paid the bill
Speaker 1: and I said, what a stressful situation it's just been
Speaker 1: for an hour. So yeah, that was my weekend. Christian
Speaker 1: Oconnell Christian O'Connell show