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Speaker 1: A Christian O'Connell show podcast. We're trying and pick a

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Speaker 1: song that sums up the story of our weekend. Patsy,

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Speaker 1: how is it for you? Big weekend for your family?

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Speaker 2: We had a massive weekend. We had Audrey's tenth birthday party,

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Speaker 2: my little girl, and we went out for pizza with

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Speaker 2: about fifteen screaming girls. They just they've only got one

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Speaker 2: way to speak, and that is to speak very high.

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Speaker 1: Pitched screeching parts.

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Speaker 3: It is.

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Speaker 2: It's like, you know, beetle Mania and the women in

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Speaker 2: the crowd.

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Speaker 1: That you can understand because they're getting something about the Beatles,

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Speaker 1: one of the greatest fans of all time.

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Speaker 3: Pizza.

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Speaker 1: I am pretty good screech.

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Speaker 4: Especially if it's like a pizza huddle, one of those

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Speaker 4: self served dessert bars or you can eat.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like lore the flies there.

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Speaker 3: It was just an uto hysteria.

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Speaker 2: And the venue we were in it was a great venue,

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Speaker 2: but it's you know, all these trendy polished floors, so

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Speaker 2: I think was absorbing the noise. But somehow they all

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Speaker 2: knew what each of them was saying. I swear there

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Speaker 2: were fifteen different conversations what.

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Speaker 1: About the mess on the floor as well, that's what

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Speaker 1: I always feel about. They just how is that like crust?

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Speaker 1: Are you just eating this the mad king and then

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Speaker 1: hurling it on the floor, on the floor, the drinks

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Speaker 1: get spelled. It's sort of sort of swinging at the table.

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Speaker 2: I had about three spillages. I had to get the

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Speaker 2: mop at one point, and.

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Speaker 1: They don't go, oh sorry, They just carry on talking.

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Speaker 3: And the noise.

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Speaker 2: I tell you how bad the noise was. It was

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Speaker 2: so bad. My poor dad, who's nearly eighty, has hearing

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Speaker 2: aids in both his years. He had to take them

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Speaker 2: out and put them back in the.

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Speaker 1: Box his ear drumps.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't handle it anyway. But then it just went

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Speaker 2: to a whole new level. They were having a bit

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Speaker 2: of a disco and Chris, my husband.

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Speaker 1: Was disorganized by you guys, or did they just start

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Speaker 1: having to discover the pizza? Are just going out for

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Speaker 1: a date with someone. There's fifteen kids, nine ten year olds,

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Speaker 1: just having a disco.

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Speaker 2: And Chris thought he'd show them how to do the

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Speaker 2: running Man because he likes to, you know, be a

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Speaker 2: cool dad.

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Speaker 3: And that was fine.

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Speaker 1: On the crest, Dad's got moved, that's got moved. The

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Speaker 1: floor clear the floor, clear through the table, get the

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Speaker 1: garlic right off the table. What did he do?

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Speaker 2: Did you kicked poor Alise in the shin one of

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Speaker 2: the little girls. She was okay doing the Running Man?

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Speaker 3: She's okay.

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Speaker 2: I have to say she's okay.

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Speaker 3: She just laughed it off. But it didn't look very

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Speaker 3: good to.

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Speaker 1: Find line between laughter and crying with a young chart anyway.

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Speaker 2: Then they wanted him to do some break dancing and

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Speaker 2: he said, I can't spin on my back anymore. Nether

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Speaker 2: spin on your back.

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Speaker 1: Great days are over. This is what my wife would

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Speaker 1: do that The always have to bring you down in

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Speaker 1: front of it. Still back.

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Speaker 2: On the dance floor on Saturday.

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Speaker 3: It was a mess.

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Speaker 1: Why didn't you film it? The image of Chris doing

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Speaker 1: the Running Man had taken out little was it? Poor

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Speaker 1: a leash Shoe podcast The Where I Be Loved God

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Speaker 1: taken out small child whilst showing them the Running Man.

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Speaker 1: I remember years ago, I think it was Lowis's ninth

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Speaker 1: or tenth birthday party and they had a pinata and uh,

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Speaker 1: they'd have been attacking it for like ten minutes, right,

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Speaker 1: and it wasn't Nothing was shifting, nothing was coming out.

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Speaker 1: And my wife went to me, Chris, why didn't you

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Speaker 1: just give it a couple of acts just to soften.

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Speaker 3: Up for them?

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Speaker 1: And I had this stick and I took such a

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Speaker 1: big sort of backswing. I sudden he's heard this. Look

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Speaker 1: around one the dad's Jeff. It literally bloodied his nose

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Speaker 1: to say, I can say this safe thing out on

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Speaker 1: the other side of the world actually really irritated dad

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Speaker 1: as well. Jeff. I said sorry, but secretly I wasn't

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Speaker 1: and he might have seen some of the other dads

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Speaker 1: looking at me going well I took out Jeff. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: it was when my daughter was into unicorn, so we

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Speaker 1: had a unicorn theme party the day at which my

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Speaker 1: wife had me an inflatable unicorn outfit. I had to

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Speaker 1: be in and just wander around. Why the kids punched

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Speaker 1: and kicked me. I'm having a great time. This song

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Speaker 1: was played over fifteen times. All they want here bad again?

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Speaker 3: Play it again?

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Speaker 1: Then kicking me in my pink inflatable unicorn. What kind

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Speaker 1: of punch kicking psycho?

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Speaker 3: No wonder you last down on Jeff image.

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Speaker 1: Screw you, Jeff. This is then twenty fifteen Saturday afternoon.

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Speaker 1: I had a stinking hangover as well. Just say as well.

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Speaker 1: This was just like est me off. Anyway over the weekend,

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Speaker 1: I still went this on Friday show. Friday nights, I

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Speaker 1: was in charge. My wife had gone away for the night,

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Speaker 1: just one night. This is how a little trust she

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Speaker 1: has in me. Right, She's like, have you got this?

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Speaker 1: I mean one is going to be over somewhere else,

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Speaker 1: one's going to be with you. Can you keep an

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Speaker 1: arm one of them? And I went, I've got this.

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Speaker 1: You don't need to worry. So I was getting text

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Speaker 1: messages every hour going, how's it going? Son? You don't

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Speaker 1: need to send any more of these messages.

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Speaker 3: Take a photo of the children there?

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Speaker 1: Still, yes, yeah, with today's newspaper. Anyway, the everything was

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Speaker 1: fine Friday night, and then Saturday morning, I said, why

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Speaker 1: don't we go out for breakfast and straight away, you know,

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Speaker 1: nice off like that. That was met with, oh god,

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Speaker 1: where do we have to go? It's somewhere you pick?

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Speaker 1: Can we pick it? Then they're arguing about what kind

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Speaker 1: of place when I'm now going to pick it? So

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Speaker 1: we go to have breakfast and actually made a note

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Speaker 1: right afterwards of everything we talked about in our hour

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Speaker 1: there having breakfast together. First of all, Billie Eilish and

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Speaker 1: whether or not she's been canceled, that's their world. They're

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Speaker 1: constant going to me, Oh no, I don't like the

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Speaker 1: posting on that she's been canceled. When is there a

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Speaker 1: center sort of database now to sort of just keep

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Speaker 1: up to speak? Why is she canceled?

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Speaker 4: It happened so fast as well. When you're a teenager,

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Speaker 4: you can I remember your daughter loved Billy Eish so much.

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Speaker 1: Now she's the official thing is she's not sure about

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Speaker 1: her anymore, and I'm like this is brutal, so billy honest.

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Speaker 1: Then there was a story they found on TikTok. TikTok

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Speaker 1: to them is the hell tume right? They just go

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Speaker 1: fant on TikTok like there's no follow up question, like

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Speaker 1: some child made up and filmed it and put it on.

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Speaker 1: That's not fact. There's nothing we checked there. Okay, it's

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Speaker 1: not truth. It's just a platform. TikTok isn't I it's

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Speaker 1: been carved in stone some video, I said. And we

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Speaker 1: were talking about past lives and I went, all right,

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Speaker 1: what's this come up at school? No TikTok And I

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Speaker 1: went there was a person on that said that when

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Speaker 1: there were two years of age. They hadn't spoken a

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Speaker 1: word straightway, this is bs and they looked at me, like, God,

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Speaker 1: what is it with your generation? I went here with

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Speaker 1: all the questions. I went, carry on, okay, this person

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Speaker 1: was saying when they were to Patsy Will believed when

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Speaker 1: this kid was apparently two years of age, right, she

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Speaker 1: suddenly she's hardly spoken.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 1: She suddenly starts speaking fully formed sentences. As they're driving

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Speaker 1: on the road, she goes, oh, mummy, this is where

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Speaker 1: I died, and the seat belt and there were two

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Speaker 1: other cars. That starts to describe them all. The mom

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Speaker 1: gets home, she happens to google car accident on that

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Speaker 1: freeway and guess what word for word, everything this wordless

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Speaker 1: child said at the age of two came true. And

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Speaker 1: the kids were like, they were taking this night. This

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Speaker 1: is true, and I was thinking about that. Then we

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Speaker 1: started having an argument about a mini fridge. They want

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Speaker 1: a mini fridge in their rumper's room. And I said,

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Speaker 1: if you keep your bedrooms tidy for six weeks, I

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Speaker 1: don't know where I got the six weeks from. That's

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Speaker 1: the kind of dad I am. I said, you can

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Speaker 1: have a mini fridge, they say, and so we're.

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Speaker 3: Arguing, thought like, I think of mini fridge as a

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Speaker 3: beer fridge.

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Speaker 1: Wow, I've got a horrible figure. I didn't want to ask.

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Speaker 1: It was kind of like I'm presuming it for energy

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Speaker 1: drinks and stuff like that. Shot up the carton draft

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Speaker 1: for fourteen and sixteen year old? Are you out of

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Speaker 1: beer up there this kennet. Guys, I've told you before

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Speaker 1: keep your bedrooms tidy and keep the beer fridge toped up.

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Speaker 3: We might as well build a full bar in here now.

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Speaker 1: We were arguing about that, and then they said, you've

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Speaker 1: got some food in your teeth. So then I sort

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Speaker 1: of strake me for a minute. And then we do

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Speaker 1: this all the time, by the way, to distract you.

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Speaker 1: Just so there's figny teeth there rarely is any fignity teeth.

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Speaker 1: Then I found out they've got a secret WhatsApp group

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Speaker 1: my wife and my daughter's called the Girls. So obviously

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Speaker 1: I'm not invited to do because I'm not one of

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Speaker 1: the girls.

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Speaker 3: Ah, they talk about you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And then I couldn't I couldn't hide sat was.

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Speaker 1: I went, oh, right, well what were you chat about?

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Speaker 1: And they went look at his face, he's all sad.

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Speaker 1: Then they laughed at me, and I paid the bill

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Speaker 1: and I said, what a stressful situation it's just been

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Speaker 1: for an hour. So yeah, that was my weekend. Christian

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Speaker 1: Oconnell Christian O'Connell show