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Speaker 1: My name's Aatasha Bamblet. I'm a proud First Nations woman

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Speaker 1: and I'm here to acknowledge country t Glenn Young Ganya, Niana,

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Speaker 1: Kaka yah y and beIN Ahaka Nian our gay In Nimbina,

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Speaker 1: yakarum jar Dominyama, Doma Itawakaman damon Imlan Bomber bang Gadabomba

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Speaker 1: in and now in wakah ghana on yak rum jar Watnadaa. Hello,

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Speaker 1: beautiful friends, we gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people.

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Speaker 1: We thank acknowledge and respect the Aberiginal people's land that

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Speaker 1: we're gathering on today. Take pleasure in all the land

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Speaker 1: and respect all that you see. She's on the Money

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Speaker 1: podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections, bringing you the tools,

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Speaker 1: knowledge and resources for you to thrive.

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Speaker 2: She's on the Money.

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Speaker 3: She's on the Money.

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Speaker 4: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast

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Speaker 4: that lets you be pervy about other people's money circumstances

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Speaker 4: for educational purposes, of course. Welcome back to another one

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Speaker 4: of our money daries where I get the absolute pleasure

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Speaker 4: to sit down and talk with one of our incredible

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Speaker 4: She's on the Money community members all about their journey.

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Speaker 4: Let's jump straight into it, because this week I got

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Speaker 4: a message and it sounded exactly like this. Hi, she's

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Speaker 4: on the money. I have a money story that shows

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Speaker 4: that life really doesn't move in a straight line. My

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Speaker 4: story is all about growing up in a household with

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Speaker 4: a pretty toxic dad, but ending up repeating the exact

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Speaker 4: same cycle with my first spoiler alert husband. It's also

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Speaker 4: about moving to the other side of the world on

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Speaker 4: a total whim and starting again from scratch financially, not once,

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Speaker 4: but twice at twenty five and then again at thirty

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Speaker 4: years old. All of that now to be in an

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Speaker 4: amazing relationship with someone who is on exactly the same

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Speaker 4: page as me, but also navigating what it's like to

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Speaker 4: start big joint financial goals when you come with such

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Speaker 4: big baggage of people taking advantage of you in the past.

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Speaker 4: I am very excited for this money diary. Welcome to

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Speaker 4: the show Money Diarist. Hi, I just feel like I've

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Speaker 4: got so many questions like toxic dad, okay, toxic husband,

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Speaker 4: oh goosey, Like then you've moved across the world, not

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Speaker 4: once but twice, Like girl, that sounds expensive. I just

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Speaker 4: have lots of questions.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a lot.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, like, and I'm glad that you're like, hey girl,

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Speaker 4: I'm so willing to share this with the community. Before

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Speaker 4: we get there, though, If I asked you to rate

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Speaker 4: your money habits on a scale from A three to

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Speaker 4: F what would you rate them?

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Speaker 2: I think at this stage I would probably give myself

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Speaker 2: a minus.

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Speaker 4: Okay, I love this, I love this. I have some

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Speaker 4: questions about it doesn't seem like it would take much

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Speaker 4: to get to an A plus. What would that look like?

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Speaker 4: But let's that for the end of the show, my friend,

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Speaker 4: let's dive further in. I want to know, tell me

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Speaker 4: more about growing up in a household where you had

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Speaker 4: a pretty toxic data less go from there.

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Speaker 2: Yes, so obviously it's something that maybe didn't pack me

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Speaker 2: growing up, but that I reflected upon afterwards, realizing you

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Speaker 2: know the truth behind it, especially when it comes to

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Speaker 2: money story. We didn't talk much about money growing up,

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Speaker 2: which you know is not the healthiest in itself.

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Speaker 4: It's also really common, yes.

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Speaker 2: Very common, and I think so. I'm French, and especially

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Speaker 2: in France still now, money is very taboo. It's not

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Speaker 2: something that people openly discuss, so I knew that my

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Speaker 2: mom was the bread winner. Mom had quite a good

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Speaker 2: job and was making a decent amount of money. Dad

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Speaker 2: not so much. She was a government employee, but probably

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Speaker 2: more on the lower side of the wages. And what

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Speaker 2: was happening is that my mom would try to save

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Speaker 2: and save and save, and then my dad would go

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Speaker 2: and spend and spend and.

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Speaker 4: Spend so and she was working so hard.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she was working so hard, like crazy hours. And

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Speaker 2: in hindsight, it breaks my heart to realize what was happening.

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Speaker 2: And you know, obviously, as I said, growing up, I

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Speaker 2: didn't really realize. And then my dad was so very

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Speaker 2: good at taking advantage of that. It would do the

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Speaker 2: same with his mom, just show up at my grandma's,

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Speaker 2: bought a credit card, and just spend very good at

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Speaker 2: spending other people's money. In hindsight, there's definitely some things

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Speaker 2: going there. There's definitely some diagnosed ADHD on my dad,

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Speaker 2: because I am diagnosed myself.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, the apple never falls that far from the tree.

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Speaker 4: I don't want to hear that though, do they.

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Speaker 2: No, absolutely not. But there's definitely some impulse spending. It

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Speaker 2: would change cars every six months and buy a new

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Speaker 2: car all the time and constantly spending on things. So

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Speaker 2: it's only talking to my mom later on that she

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Speaker 2: told me that, you know, like even though she wasn't

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Speaker 2: a good income, our account would be in the red

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Speaker 2: at the end of each months because like in France

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Speaker 2: you can go under it. We don't have the same

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Speaker 2: credit card system, so you have a debit carbage can

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Speaker 2: spend more that's on your account, like yeah, and so yeah,

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Speaker 2: she told me that. Yeah, she often spent time negotiating

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Speaker 2: with the banks and all those kind of things, even

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Speaker 2: though the money was there. My dad was just quicker

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Speaker 2: at spending in that we were earning it.

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Speaker 4: No, especially if she's working so hard and then trying

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Speaker 4: to bring new guys up. It would have been like

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Speaker 4: having a thirty responsible child.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I think worse than that, really, it's yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: So my parents separated when I was in my early twenties,

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Speaker 2: which was hard, but once again I think I wish

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Speaker 2: it had happened earlier. I think for my mom's sake,

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Speaker 2: I wish she would have found that piece earlier. But

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Speaker 2: so they separated. That was about I think twenty two,

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Speaker 2: and it was right at the time when I met

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Speaker 2: the person who would become my husband, well my first husband,

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Speaker 2: so that relationship was also not the healthiest and I

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Speaker 2: ended up. You know what they say, we like sometimes

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Speaker 2: they say, you marry your dad. That's roughly what happened.

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Speaker 4: It's great advice if you have a fantastic dad, Like

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Speaker 4: great advice, terrible advice if your dad was irresponsible. But

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Speaker 4: it's funny because it's very true. And in like the

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Speaker 4: world of psychology, you can like look at a lot

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Speaker 4: of people who talk about it, and it's because you

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Speaker 4: find that familiar and you go, well, oh, that feels safe,

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Speaker 4: and that's very familiar, and I'm comfortable with that. Like

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Speaker 4: there's no real surprises. It's not what you deserve. It

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Speaker 4: is not what you deserve. But from a psychological perspective,

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Speaker 4: like that person would have immediately felt very familiar, very comfortable,

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Speaker 4: Like you could predict their behaviors right because you knew

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Speaker 4: what that looked like and you know what that feels like.

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Speaker 4: That feels like love.

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Speaker 2: So he was not good.

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Speaker 4: Oh no, not safe, but like mentally you feel safe

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Speaker 4: because you know what you can predict, and humans inherently

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Speaker 4: love being able to predict what's going to happen next.

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Speaker 2: That's interesting. Yeah, that explains a lot. That makes a

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Speaker 2: lot of sense to me.

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Speaker 4: It's not fun though, like like you probably had to

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Speaker 4: come toious some very hard conclude maybe that's not great,

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Speaker 4: and it sounds like you have Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So it was also very very good at spending. So

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Speaker 2: I was not making a great amount of money. I

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Speaker 2: was in my first job, so I was making like

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Speaker 2: not much more above minimum wage, but still trying to save.

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Speaker 2: I've always been a very very good saver, definitely getting

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Speaker 2: that from my mom growing up and putting the pile

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Speaker 2: of money and counting my money and a bit of

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Speaker 2: that behavior. Very much discusting mindset there, and so I

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Speaker 2: would try to say, but once again, it would be

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Speaker 2: very good at spending and very good at convincing me

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Speaker 2: that we needed things that we didn't. Yeah. Yes, so

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Speaker 2: that didn't help because I didn't want to part with

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Speaker 2: my money, but also very probably a bit naive and

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Speaker 2: gold a ball there.

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Speaker 4: You were just doing what felt right at the time.

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Speaker 4: Like I think sometimes we crucify ourselves and you go, oh,

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Speaker 4: so naive, are so silly, like I shouldn't have done it,

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Speaker 4: And of course, in hindsight because you're now more educated,

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Speaker 4: but at the time, you're like, I really like this

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Speaker 4: person and he probably cares about me in the same

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Speaker 4: way that I do about him, and that that's the case.

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Speaker 4: It wasn't, but like you just can't see through it, No.

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Speaker 2: And getting the dopamine hit from the purchase, which you

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Speaker 2: once again giving a dopamine hit to an ADHD person.

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Speaker 2: It's not a good idea, how.

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Speaker 4: School, isn't it. No, I get it, I really get it.

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Speaker 2: So Yeah, when we decided to get married, for example,

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Speaker 2: we decided to create a joint account to put the

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Speaker 2: money for the wedding there to try and save. So

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Speaker 2: until then we had everything separate. So the first time

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Speaker 2: we created a joint account, and the deal was every month,

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Speaker 2: let's try and put a couple of hundred each onto

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Speaker 2: that account and try and save. We had planned to

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Speaker 2: get married about two years later, so we had plenty

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Speaker 2: of time to see it coming. I was putting the

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Speaker 2: money every month. I don't think he ever did. I

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Speaker 2: don't think there's one month where he put the money

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Speaker 2: in because he didn't have the money, or he would

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Speaker 2: quit his job on a whim and so there would

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Speaker 2: be no money and I would have to pay for it.

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Speaker 2: Like all of those things. So once again I was

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Speaker 2: bearing that burden. And then one day I was looking

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Speaker 2: for a job, and actually I was not even look

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Speaker 2: looking for a job. I was just googling some competitors

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Speaker 2: to my current employer, and one of them ended up

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Speaker 2: being in Australia, and I was like, ooh, Australia sounds good,

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Speaker 2: and oh, they're looking for someone that does the same

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Speaker 2: job that what I'm doing, so let's just apply. Just see,

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Speaker 2: I had never thought about going to Australia at that point.

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Speaker 2: It was just a complete whim and I applied and

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Speaker 2: I got the job, and a month later we decided

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Speaker 2: to move to the other side of the world. And

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Speaker 2: my fancy at the time was unemployed, so that was

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Speaker 2: easy for him to follow me. And that was about

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Speaker 2: four months before our wedding in France. So well, like,

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Speaker 2: that's fine, we'll move to Australia. We'll moved to Australia.

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Speaker 2: We'll use that as a test period, go back to

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Speaker 2: friends for the wedding, and if we didn't like the experience,

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Speaker 2: we'll just stay in France after that.

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Speaker 4: And just like the experience, it sounds like you've got

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Speaker 4: your head screwed on. You're a smart girl. I like it.

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Speaker 2: It was a good test and a good way to

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Speaker 2: deal with the stress of moving to the other side

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Speaker 2: of the world in the space of a month. So

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Speaker 2: we moved, and you know, with all of that comespain

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Speaker 2: for flights and paying for visa and paying full of

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Speaker 2: the things, and obviously getting a new accommodation and rents.

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Speaker 2: Even though you know, eleven years ago, rent wasn't as

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Speaker 2: crazy as it is today, it was still an.

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Speaker 4: Expense, but it was crazy because your income was probably less.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and by buying a car because we didn't have

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Speaker 2: a carr in friends cause lived in big city. But

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Speaker 2: obviously moving to Australia it was a different story. So

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Speaker 2: we basically arrived in Australia and had not a dollar

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Speaker 2: left to our name. After that, we had, like until

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Speaker 2: my first income came through my first monthly pay, we

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Speaker 2: had pretty much nothing. We were starting from zero and

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Speaker 2: we had a wedding four months later, so there was

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Speaker 2: that too, So that was you know, that was a

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Speaker 2: bit stressful. But it's interesting coming to Australia from another country.

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Speaker 2: I felt like the richest person on the earth and

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Speaker 2: my income was probably it was the minimum for my

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Speaker 2: visa for something like fifty five K a year at

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Speaker 2: the time, and I felt like the absolute richest person

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Speaker 2: in the world. It was amazing. So obviously my husband

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Speaker 2: also like the richest person in the world, and we

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Speaker 2: know what happens in that situation. He would just once

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Speaker 2: again spend and be very quick at getting rid of

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Speaker 2: a job just because something was bothering him in it.

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Speaker 2: I'm not really putting himself towards our big money goals.

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Speaker 2: So that was a lot and that pattern kept on going.

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Speaker 2: So we were married for about four years to all,

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Speaker 2: and that just kept on going. Each time you would

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Speaker 2: get a new job or I would get some sort

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Speaker 2: of race at my work, it would be like, oh,

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Speaker 2: that's amazing with that amount, Like we had the budgets,

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Speaker 2: preach it, we had everything sorted, and it would put

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Speaker 2: it in and be like, look, with that amount, we

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Speaker 2: were going to be able to save this amount, to

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Speaker 2: save this amount, And at first I was like excited

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Speaker 2: as well, but after a couple of times, I'd be like, yeah, great,

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Speaker 2: I know that's not going to happen because you say that,

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Speaker 2: but I know this is just going to get spent

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Speaker 2: because that's what always always happens. So that became quite

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Speaker 2: stressful and very frustrating as well to just not being

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Speaker 2: able to reach any goals because all the money would

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Speaker 2: just go into things.

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Speaker 4: Really, I'm sorry that feels so stressful, and I feel

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Speaker 4: like coming to that conclusion is really hard as well,

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Speaker 4: because you go, hold on, hold on, hold on, like

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Speaker 4: this isn't what you said it was going to be.

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Speaker 4: It's not and that can be really upsetting.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was, and I think that's when I reached thirty.

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Speaker 2: When I turned thirty, I had that big life crisis

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Speaker 2: where I just realized I was like, is this what

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Speaker 2: I want my life to be? And the answer was not,

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Speaker 2: this is just not what I want for myself. I

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Speaker 2: can't keep going. I don't know. I had this realization

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Speaker 2: that you only have one life and there's no do over,

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Speaker 2: there's no you know, I can try something else at

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Speaker 2: the end of the day. Once it's done, it's done.

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Speaker 2: So I just make the big and really really hard

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Speaker 2: decision to leave that marriage, which at the time was

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Speaker 2: it was just so hard. I still can't understand how

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Speaker 2: I did it, but it is to this day the

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Speaker 2: best decision I've made for myself.

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Speaker 4: And like, there's going to be a lot of people

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Speaker 4: listening to this who might be feeling similar, right, Like,

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Speaker 4: how you came to that conclusion? Right? So you had

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Speaker 4: probably had some talks with yourself and some three am

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Speaker 4: thoughts and not being able to sleep, and you're working

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Speaker 4: out what you're going to do, So you come to

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Speaker 4: this conclusion, right, I'm going to leave. But how did

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Speaker 4: you start facilitating that? Did you start a conversation? Like

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Speaker 4: did you move out immediately? Like what did that actually

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Speaker 4: look like? Because I think that that's the part that

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Speaker 4: so many of us are so scared of.

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Speaker 2: It is it is incredibly hard, especially when we're with

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Speaker 2: someone that is that is manipulative. It is really really hard.

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Speaker 2: And I was at the point where I was having

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Speaker 2: several panic attacks a day, and one of my friends

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Speaker 2: who had been through a similar situation, told me, your

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Speaker 2: body will tell you at some point, will tell you

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Speaker 2: to leave because you just won't have a choice anymore.

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Speaker 2: And that's that's the point I reached. It. It was

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Speaker 2: like my body telling me you have to do it now,

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Speaker 2: Like it's we can't keep going. So I just walked

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Speaker 2: up at home once and I sat down and I

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Speaker 2: remember I started crying. It was like what's happening. And

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Speaker 2: I just told him that it's done, it's over, and

285
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Speaker 2: that's it. And then there was a lot of emotional

286
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Speaker 2: manpulation and threats and all that that came into it,

287
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Speaker 2: and I almost backed off a few times, but each

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Speaker 2: time I was like, oh, maybe maybe I can't believe

289
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Speaker 2: my body would go into panic attack and telling me no, no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 2: you've started this.

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Speaker 4: No no, no, no, you're leaving. You're leaving by the way.

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Speaker 2: We're doing it, girl, that is happening.

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Speaker 4: Who knew? Like, but I just decided I didn't money.

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Speaker 4: It was all too hard and your body's like a A,

295
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Speaker 4: we didn't come this far or only come this far.

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Speaker 2: That is exactly it. So I was extremely lucky. First,

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Speaker 2: I had a colleague who had a spare room and

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Speaker 2: she's like, girl, come and stay at mine for a

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Speaker 2: week and just you know, so that you can get

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Speaker 2: that space. So I moved out and moved in with

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Speaker 2: her in her spare room for about a week. And

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Speaker 2: I was also in a job that was wonderful with

303
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Speaker 2: men that were wonderful, and I went to talk to

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Speaker 2: my boss and say, hey, this is what's happening. I

305
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Speaker 2: feel like I need the space. Can I go to

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Speaker 2: friends in my family for a couple of weeks and

307
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Speaker 2: I'll work from there. And they're like, yeah, that's fine,

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Speaker 2: just take the time. And also we've got an office

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Speaker 2: in London, so you know what, just take three weeks,

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Speaker 2: spend one week in London as well in the office there.

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Speaker 2: Two weeks is not enough, you need three. Just just go.

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Speaker 4: They were just wonderful, Oh what icons.

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Speaker 2: And so I did that. I went away for three weeks.

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Speaker 2: That allowed me to put the space that was very

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Speaker 2: much needed because if I had stayed in Australia, you know,

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Speaker 2: in the same city, in the same neighboring suburbs, that

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Speaker 2: would probably have been much much harder to put that

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Speaker 2: distance between us. And when I was obviously as also

319
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Speaker 2: started looking for flats to move in for housemates and

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Speaker 2: found someone and I think I arrived back in Australia

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Speaker 2: on the Saturday, and on Sunday morning, I moved out

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Speaker 2: and moved in with housemates.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: So it went quick. Yeah wow, logistically, but that was

325
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Speaker 2: very needed because I don't think I would have been

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Speaker 2: able to stay nearby that the manipulation would have been

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Speaker 2: just too intense and too hard.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, but I'm really glad that you're able to identify that,

329
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Speaker 4: because so many people don't. They go, oh, well, you know,

330
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Speaker 4: maybe this is the next step, right, like maybe just

331
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Speaker 4: a little bit of distance will do us good. No, no, no, no,

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Speaker 4: run run for the hills.

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Speaker 2: That's it. Once you made the decision, you just have

334
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,720
Speaker 2: to stick to it because it gets even the harder

335
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:26,040
Speaker 2: and harder to just try again. And you know, so

336
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Speaker 2: it was good, but then I was just I think

337
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Speaker 2: I was in hindsight once again, I was just very nice,

338
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Speaker 2: maybe too nice, because like, oh well, I left, so

339
00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:40,920
Speaker 2: he stuck with paying the rent for the place. It

340
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,960
Speaker 2: was my decision, So I kept paying half the rent

341
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Speaker 2: for about six months until I least ran out. So

342
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Speaker 2: I was paying for my share of my you know,

343
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:51,960
Speaker 2: with my housemaid. I was paying for my room, and

344
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Speaker 2: I was giving in the money for about half of

345
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:56,640
Speaker 2: his rent. He could have found a housemates himself. There

346
00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:59,720
Speaker 2: were many multiple rooms in that house. He had many options.

347
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Speaker 2: But I, once again I think I was not fully

348
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:07,080
Speaker 2: out of his grasp there and I still was doing

349
00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:10,600
Speaker 2: this and helping, which, yeah, in hindsight, I'm like, why

350
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:11,400
Speaker 2: did I do that?

351
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Speaker 4: But what a nice person that says you are not

352
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Speaker 4: because you were kind, And you know what, I would

353
00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:21,520
Speaker 4: love to be accused of being kind consistently like you

354
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Speaker 4: did it because you felt at the time that that

355
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,320
Speaker 4: was the best thing to do. Did he deserve it?

356
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:29,240
Speaker 4: Absolutely not. But it's a reflection of your values, not his.

357
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Speaker 2: No, I think, yeah, it's true, Like at least I

358
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:34,160
Speaker 2: can look myself in the mirror and say I've done

359
00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:36,640
Speaker 2: the right thing, not necessarily by myself but by him.

360
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:41,560
Speaker 4: Absolutely you have. So you move out in Australia on

361
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,960
Speaker 4: your own, what does life look like then.

362
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,680
Speaker 2: Well, so financially that's the same on time, I started

363
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:50,560
Speaker 2: from scratch because we separated. We had some money aside,

364
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:52,560
Speaker 2: but I took that because I had to buy a

365
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:56,080
Speaker 2: car for myself to you just move around. That just

366
00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:59,359
Speaker 2: needed the car. So basically the only share of the

367
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,199
Speaker 2: saving that we had went into that car. It was

368
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:04,439
Speaker 2: something like, I don't know, twelve thousand dollars. It was

369
00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:07,880
Speaker 2: not a crazy, crazy amount. And then I left him

370
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:10,879
Speaker 2: with everything, like all of our things, everything that was

371
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,560
Speaker 2: material stayed with him, so he kept all of that

372
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,760
Speaker 2: and I had two three strait cases and I bought

373
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Speaker 2: my car and that was all I had, all I

374
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:20,720
Speaker 2: had to my name at that point, which was a

375
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:24,760
Speaker 2: bit scary, but at the same time that was very

376
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:28,479
Speaker 2: much the fresh start that I needed. I was, for

377
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:31,320
Speaker 2: the first time with a job that I liked, with

378
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:35,679
Speaker 2: an income that was quite good. If I remember, I

379
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:38,159
Speaker 2: was at the time on something like a maybe like

380
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,480
Speaker 2: a ninety k something like that.

381
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Speaker 4: Oh, okay, so you'd gone up from that fifty five k.

382
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,200
Speaker 2: Yes, So I was earning a good amount of money

383
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,679
Speaker 2: and I had a reasonable amount of expense, and for

384
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:50,880
Speaker 2: the first time in my life, I didn't have anyone

385
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:54,560
Speaker 2: that would come and touch that money. It was mine

386
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,919
Speaker 2: and it was mine to take control of, and that

387
00:18:57,119 --> 00:19:00,920
Speaker 2: was just the best feeling. I started by reading The

388
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,919
Speaker 2: Barefoot Investor and you know, there's a first step.

389
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:05,119
Speaker 4: Yep, great start, and.

390
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:07,400
Speaker 2: Looked at you all his money, and put my budgets

391
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:10,119
Speaker 2: together and put my different accounts and all of that,

392
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:14,120
Speaker 2: and it just felt so liberating to be in control

393
00:19:14,359 --> 00:19:16,040
Speaker 2: and to do all of that by myself.

394
00:19:16,119 --> 00:19:17,520
Speaker 4: Oh, I'm so glad.

395
00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:20,359
Speaker 2: It wasn't scary at all, even though I had like

396
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:23,120
Speaker 2: very little to my name. It was the best feeling.

397
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,200
Speaker 2: And I was like, I can finally save and spend

398
00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:26,840
Speaker 2: for what my values are.

399
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,119
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, because even if you had little, it was

400
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:31,000
Speaker 4: all yours. No one was going to spend it.

401
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:36,480
Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely, that was really really good. And I was like, okay,

402
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:40,000
Speaker 2: so now you know, I said, alone in Australia, I

403
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,800
Speaker 2: had friends because I had been there for by then

404
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,359
Speaker 2: about yea four and a half years, so I knew people.

405
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:49,000
Speaker 2: I had some friends, I had my housemates and I'm

406
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:52,600
Speaker 2: still very good friends with now. And it was like

407
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:56,440
Speaker 2: life was good and it's interesting. People at work even

408
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:59,879
Speaker 2: told me, like, you're standing straighter then you used to.

409
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,960
Speaker 2: It's you're like a different person. It's just that whole

410
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:06,600
Speaker 2: weight that had been lifted from my shoulder on all fronts.

411
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,640
Speaker 2: That was the best feeling. I adore that. I'm so

412
00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:12,080
Speaker 2: happy that you got to experience that. But isn't it

413
00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:16,040
Speaker 2: crazy that not only mental change, but the physical change

414
00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:19,800
Speaker 2: people experience when they just aren't weighed down by the

415
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:23,080
Speaker 2: wrong people, Like it's crazy. I don't think you realize

416
00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:24,919
Speaker 2: when you're in the thick of it. It's only when

417
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:26,360
Speaker 2: you come out on the other side and you look

418
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,480
Speaker 2: back and you're like, oh my god, oh my.

419
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:31,800
Speaker 4: God, what was I doing? But like, good on you.

420
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:35,280
Speaker 4: I love this, so I know that you're now married again.

421
00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:37,920
Speaker 4: What happened after that? Like you, we got back into

422
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:38,879
Speaker 4: dating and.

423
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:43,400
Speaker 2: Then so only two months after my separation, I met

424
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:46,879
Speaker 2: that guy on an APP and it was also fresh

425
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:50,960
Speaker 2: out of a marriage. So what that meant is we

426
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:54,080
Speaker 2: were both quite keen on not going too serious too

427
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:57,120
Speaker 2: early on and just taking our time. A few months

428
00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:01,840
Speaker 2: later when we decided to get see, we were very

429
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:05,600
Speaker 2: clear on our expectations. Communication was big, and we were

430
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:07,800
Speaker 2: very clear on Okay, if we're going to do this,

431
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:09,159
Speaker 2: and we're going to do it for real, this is

432
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,760
Speaker 2: what I'm expecting from a relationship. I want you know,

433
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:13,800
Speaker 2: family is a big value. We want to be on

434
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:15,480
Speaker 2: the same page financially, you want to be on the

435
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:18,560
Speaker 2: same page on all aspects. We were very clear on

436
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:21,960
Speaker 2: what we were ready or not ready to tolerate. I

437
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:25,160
Speaker 2: think that was the greatest thing, Like it's it helped

438
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:28,080
Speaker 2: us so much not repeating other mystics.

439
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:31,679
Speaker 4: I'm obsessed. You deserve all of that. How soon after

440
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:35,119
Speaker 4: you got out of that relationship did you get really

441
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:36,400
Speaker 4: serious with this new guy?

442
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:40,840
Speaker 2: About six months? So it did go much quicker than

443
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:43,439
Speaker 2: I expected it to be, and It's also about the

444
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:48,080
Speaker 2: time that he decided to move into state, So like, okay, great,

445
00:21:48,119 --> 00:21:50,240
Speaker 2: now that we're attached and you're moving into state, what's

446
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:53,440
Speaker 2: going to look like for us. Luckily, my job at

447
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:55,720
Speaker 2: the time had an office in that other state, so

448
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,440
Speaker 2: I ended up commuting quite a bit, doing two weeks

449
00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:00,560
Speaker 2: in one office one week and another off, and just

450
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:03,879
Speaker 2: flying quite a lot for about six months while we

451
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:07,040
Speaker 2: were testing out of the relationship. And then I moved

452
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:09,199
Speaker 2: in with him six months after that. So I had

453
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:11,480
Speaker 2: been out of my previous marriage for about a year

454
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:13,000
Speaker 2: when we moved in together.

455
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:16,040
Speaker 4: When you know, you know, I just I love love.

456
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:21,280
Speaker 2: Absolutely, but we were still very careful with everything, finances,

457
00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:25,480
Speaker 2: dividing everything and both keeping i'd say our money quite

458
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:29,000
Speaker 2: close to our chests, both being a bit you know,

459
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:32,600
Speaker 2: scarred with our previous experiences.

460
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,639
Speaker 4: Oh absolutely, And I think that you do have to

461
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:36,600
Speaker 4: protect yourself.

462
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:39,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, it took us quite a while to just get

463
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 2: to that stage of trust and still do this day.

464
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,400
Speaker 2: We're now, you know, we're married, we've got two kids,

465
00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:46,479
Speaker 2: we've got a house, and we still don't share finances. Fully,

466
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:48,919
Speaker 2: It's crazy, but it's just how it is.

467
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:51,480
Speaker 4: I kind of love that though, like I'm you're just

468
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:52,600
Speaker 4: protecting yourselves.

469
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:56,640
Speaker 2: Yes, always, And we had like lots of discussions though,

470
00:22:56,800 --> 00:23:02,440
Speaker 2: And we moved together in Journe twenty nineteen, so about,

471
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:05,480
Speaker 2: you know, six months before COVID hit, which was also

472
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:07,960
Speaker 2: a big test on the relationship. When you've been living

473
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:09,960
Speaker 2: together for six months and then you end up stuck

474
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:13,240
Speaker 2: in an apartment just the two of you for a

475
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:14,120
Speaker 2: few months at a time.

476
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:15,280
Speaker 4: I yeah, that's a lot.

477
00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:18,480
Speaker 2: And that's also when we decided that we would move

478
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:22,119
Speaker 2: back to Brisbane where we're from and at some point

479
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:26,240
Speaker 2: and we would want to buy a house, so we

480
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:30,040
Speaker 2: decided to buy interstate in COVID. So obviously we could

481
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:33,440
Speaker 2: not fly to Brisbane because the borders where constantly goes

482
00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:36,359
Speaker 2: so interesting. Fight we actually bought our house after only

483
00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:39,960
Speaker 2: seeing it on FaceTime stop here. We couldn't fly, so

484
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:43,000
Speaker 2: we just sent his family. We sent his moms and

485
00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:45,600
Speaker 2: his sisters to inspection with us and they would FaceTime

486
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,199
Speaker 2: for us and tell us what they thought. Then that

487
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:49,560
Speaker 2: is how we chose our house and that's how we

488
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:52,359
Speaker 2: bought it. So when we bought the planes, we had

489
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:54,920
Speaker 2: never seen it, just yeah FaceTime and having to trust

490
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,040
Speaker 2: family members to make the right choice for us.

491
00:23:57,119 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 4: And what happened when you turned up at the house,

492
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:00,439
Speaker 4: were you like, oh my god, this is is not

493
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:01,240
Speaker 4: what I expected.

494
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,879
Speaker 2: It was good. So we rented it for six months

495
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,800
Speaker 2: before we were able to move back, and the goal

496
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 2: was always to either do a renovation or knockdown rebuilds.

497
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,760
Speaker 2: So we're like, worst case scenario. If it's really bad,

498
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:16,840
Speaker 2: we'll just start the reno process earlier rather than later.

499
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,600
Speaker 2: But something that's interesting as well. So when we bought

500
00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:21,399
Speaker 2: the house, we did put the same amount each in

501
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:24,640
Speaker 2: the deposits. So I had been out of marriage for

502
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:27,639
Speaker 2: two years, I had started from scrash two years before,

503
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:30,040
Speaker 2: and by that point I had saved over fifty thousand

504
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:31,080
Speaker 2: dollars by myself.

505
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:35,520
Speaker 4: Stop it by yourself, by myself. I'm so proud of

506
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:38,720
Speaker 4: you all my money. Yeah, yeah get it, queen.

507
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:42,840
Speaker 2: I love this. That was a big achievement. Yeah. Reflecting

508
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:44,840
Speaker 2: on that and that really taught me as well, what

509
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,880
Speaker 2: I can achieve when you know I don't have someone

510
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:52,119
Speaker 2: leitching on me. Basically, when I have that control and

511
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:54,040
Speaker 2: when I can do what I want to. Yeah, I

512
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:56,760
Speaker 2: was crazy. And I also had started investing. I had

513
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,520
Speaker 2: studying ETF. So originally I was investing on the raise.

514
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:02,360
Speaker 2: I think started pretty much the moment I left my

515
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:04,920
Speaker 2: marriage because we were doing that with my ex husband.

516
00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:07,000
Speaker 2: We were on the race when it was still called

517
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:09,520
Speaker 2: Acorn back in the very early days.

518
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:11,760
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I was on there then too.

519
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then twenty nineteen is also when I started

520
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:17,480
Speaker 2: listening to She's on the Money. I actually went to

521
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:21,800
Speaker 2: an event in October twenty nineteen, so very very early days.

522
00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:22,720
Speaker 2: Stop it.

523
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:25,440
Speaker 4: Oh please, don't talk about it. That would have been

524
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:27,760
Speaker 4: so embarrassing. I would have been such a baby.

525
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:30,400
Speaker 2: It was great, it was great. It was a free

526
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:32,760
Speaker 2: event in Sydney, and yeah I loved it.

527
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,520
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, and I did those cute goodie bags and

528
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,160
Speaker 4: the notebooks.

529
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:40,680
Speaker 2: Yes, and so yeah it really helped me, I think,

530
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,800
Speaker 2: put that structure as well round my budget, and that's

531
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:46,320
Speaker 2: when I got into ETFs and all those kind of things.

532
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:47,959
Speaker 2: So not only did I save that money, I had

533
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,000
Speaker 2: started investing as well back on the side, So I

534
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:53,440
Speaker 2: was really proud of that achievement. And yeah, we moved

535
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:57,120
Speaker 2: into our house and then decided to do a knockgowner rebuilt.

536
00:25:57,359 --> 00:26:00,600
Speaker 2: And also an interesting fact there, we did not actually

537
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:03,639
Speaker 2: knocked down the house. We had a better plan financially,

538
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:06,560
Speaker 2: which was sell the house, not the land, just the house.

539
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:08,920
Speaker 2: So we use one of those relocations company that come

540
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,159
Speaker 2: and you know, put your house on the truck and

541
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:14,400
Speaker 2: take your house away. So instead of paying for demolition,

542
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,399
Speaker 2: you're actually getting paid for the house.

543
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:18,960
Speaker 4: So they bought your house literally, but you just kept

544
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:20,520
Speaker 4: the land. You were like, you can have the house,

545
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:22,000
Speaker 4: but you can't keep it here out exactly.

546
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 2: They just moved our house into another location. Some people bought.

547
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:27,920
Speaker 4: It, and yeah, wow, that is very cool.

548
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:30,679
Speaker 2: So that was also a big, big saving something I'd

549
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:33,600
Speaker 2: definitely recommend to people doing them rebuilt have a talk

550
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:36,760
Speaker 2: to these companies, because we probably would have paid something

551
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:40,000
Speaker 2: like thirty thousand dollars for the demolition, removing the asbestos

552
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 2: and all that, and we ended up getting paid instead,

553
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:44,360
Speaker 2: so that's quite a good deal.

554
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:48,400
Speaker 4: I love this. I love this so much, very very savy.

555
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,520
Speaker 2: I think as well as well. Being with my husband

556
00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:54,880
Speaker 2: was also very financially focused as being a big difference

557
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:57,240
Speaker 2: because we're on exactly the same page. We took very

558
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:59,360
Speaker 2: openly about money, and I want my kids to grow

559
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:02,560
Speaker 2: up having those conversations around the house as well hearing

560
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:04,600
Speaker 2: us talk about money and all those kind of things

561
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:07,760
Speaker 2: to not repeat what I've been through where money was

562
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:10,600
Speaker 2: very much taboo in the house. So we have those

563
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:13,960
Speaker 2: big goals and now we've got the two kids. Going

564
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:17,439
Speaker 2: on to Matt leave was very very hard for me

565
00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:20,920
Speaker 2: because I only had the central link amount of money,

566
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:25,679
Speaker 2: not company paid leave, and having to rely on someone

567
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:28,760
Speaker 2: not being in control and not having my own income,

568
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:31,119
Speaker 2: not being able to contribute to the household that I

569
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:36,359
Speaker 2: usually do, having to let go that was incredibly hard

570
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:40,280
Speaker 2: on me. Even though my husband is amazing and absolutely

571
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:44,320
Speaker 2: was compensating my income is income and paying for that

572
00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:47,000
Speaker 2: and it was never even a question for him, It's

573
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:49,840
Speaker 2: still very very hard to let go. I still have

574
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:54,000
Speaker 2: that mentality when I'm scared of not having enough money

575
00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:58,000
Speaker 2: to contribute and I don't want to be dependent on

576
00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:01,280
Speaker 2: someone like That's something that I I'm really struggling with.

577
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:03,760
Speaker 2: So yeah, we've got but we do have the two

578
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:07,320
Speaker 2: kids now, and we are paying down mortgage and we

579
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:12,080
Speaker 2: actually debt recycling for the mortgage, so we're investing through

580
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:16,880
Speaker 2: the debt recycling, So yeah, we were previously. We each

581
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:20,000
Speaker 2: have our own investing accounts, so we were putting all

582
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:22,800
Speaker 2: that money separately, but now we've decided to join that

583
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:26,240
Speaker 2: together and put the money into the debt recycling instead.

584
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:29,840
Speaker 2: So the way it works is that we paid some

585
00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:32,760
Speaker 2: money into our mortgage and then we basically split the

586
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:37,640
Speaker 2: mortgage into the normal mortgage and an investment loan, and

587
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:40,640
Speaker 2: that investment loan is then what is used to invest

588
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:43,240
Speaker 2: into the share market. So it's something that we consider

589
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:46,400
Speaker 2: for a while before actually pulling the trigger, and it's

590
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:48,400
Speaker 2: not something that we did by ourself. We had a

591
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:51,200
Speaker 2: chat with our financial advisor, we had a chat with

592
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:53,320
Speaker 2: our mortgage broker, we had a chat with our accountants,

593
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:55,760
Speaker 2: we had the whole team just to make sure it's

594
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:59,240
Speaker 2: done right because it does come with some risk, especially

595
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:01,480
Speaker 2: if you don't do it properly. So I'd say it's

596
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:03,560
Speaker 2: a great thing for people who have a mortgage but

597
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:05,600
Speaker 2: still want to invest and want to do it, but

598
00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:07,440
Speaker 2: you need to do it right. Then make sure you

599
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:09,160
Speaker 2: talk to the right people to do it. Yeah.

600
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:13,040
Speaker 4: Absolutely, And I think that that's something that we get

601
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:15,520
Speaker 4: a lot of questions in our community. People ask should

602
00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:17,320
Speaker 4: I do it? Like is it going to work for me?

603
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:19,480
Speaker 4: And it's one of those things where It's like debt

604
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 4: recycling can be a fantastic strategy if you've got the

605
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:25,320
Speaker 4: right team around you and you've got the right advice,

606
00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:28,480
Speaker 4: but if you didn't, it can actually be a really

607
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:32,640
Speaker 4: terrible thing for you because it obviously involves a significant

608
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:34,680
Speaker 4: amount of money. And like going back and forth, it

609
00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:36,600
Speaker 4: sounds like you've nailed it, and I think that maybe

610
00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:38,680
Speaker 4: at some point soon I should do an episode on

611
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:41,120
Speaker 4: dat recycling because of the amount of questions we get,

612
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:44,479
Speaker 4: because it can be scary too, Like if the market

613
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:46,920
Speaker 4: goes down and then you get a margin call, like

614
00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:50,200
Speaker 4: oh my goodness, Like that can be so stressful.

615
00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:53,600
Speaker 2: It basically relies on the market growing more than one

616
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:56,080
Speaker 2: your interest is so if you've got a six percent

617
00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:58,320
Speaker 2: interest rate, you need the market to go up by

618
00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:01,080
Speaker 2: more than six percent every year that you're losing money,

619
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:03,920
Speaker 2: and that can be quite imaging. So you need to

620
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:05,320
Speaker 2: be okay with that as.

621
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:08,720
Speaker 4: Well, exactly, And I'll talk about that in a hot second.

622
00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:11,000
Speaker 4: I just have so many questions, and I just I

623
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:12,920
Speaker 4: love that you've got two kids and you found your

624
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:15,040
Speaker 4: dream life and your partner. And I know you said

625
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:17,320
Speaker 4: that you were still struggling with like you know, letting

626
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:20,120
Speaker 4: go a little bit, but that feels fair and reasonable.

627
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:23,160
Speaker 4: Tell me, what do you and your partner do? Now? Like,

628
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:24,560
Speaker 4: how much money are you earning?

629
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:27,400
Speaker 2: So we're we're on solid amount of money. So I

630
00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:31,160
Speaker 2: earn one hundred and forty thousand dollars a year. That's

631
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 2: through my full time job, but I also freelance on

632
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:36,400
Speaker 2: the side. Same with that amount of money. I don't

633
00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 2: need the freelance, but that's another thing that I struggle

634
00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:41,680
Speaker 2: to let go off. I was like, there's this money

635
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:44,560
Speaker 2: there and I cannot say no if people ask me

636
00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:47,880
Speaker 2: to do some work. So that brings in probably another

637
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:51,160
Speaker 2: twenty to thirty K a year just for the freelance.

638
00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 4: Oh okay, So what type of freelancing are you doing?

639
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:55,840
Speaker 2: Marketing, consulting.

640
00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:57,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, very cool, very cool.

641
00:30:57,840 --> 00:30:59,680
Speaker 2: So I'm I work in marketing in my full time

642
00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:02,040
Speaker 2: role and then I also do that. So I've been

643
00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:04,480
Speaker 2: doing that since COVID pretty much, and I have some

644
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:07,720
Speaker 2: clients that I've been with me since those days. I

645
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:09,680
Speaker 2: did do it full time for a while, but then

646
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 2: I just missed the human connection. I just missed working

647
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:15,520
Speaker 2: with people. So now I've decided to just keep it

648
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:17,840
Speaker 2: on the side and keep the freelance. I still have

649
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,200
Speaker 2: some projects here and there, and I think it also

650
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:23,000
Speaker 2: allows my brain to keep ticking and just thinks of

651
00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:25,680
Speaker 2: new ideas, So I do enjoy that, but it's yeah,

652
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:28,600
Speaker 2: I think I would struggle just saying no to that

653
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:31,520
Speaker 2: money that's twenty thirty thousand years can make a big

654
00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:34,080
Speaker 2: difference on the mortgage, so it's hard to just say

655
00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:35,160
Speaker 2: no to that exactly.

656
00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:37,840
Speaker 4: And also earlier you mentioned that you have ADHD, like

657
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:39,760
Speaker 4: we just don't stop. We've just got stuff to do

658
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:42,320
Speaker 4: with busy, busy people, and if you have free time,

659
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:45,640
Speaker 4: you're always like concocting another plan. So I think this

660
00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:48,480
Speaker 4: is very good for you absolutely. And what does your

661
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:51,240
Speaker 4: partner do and work in hr very cool? And what

662
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:52,560
Speaker 4: type of income does he have?

663
00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:57,760
Speaker 2: Roughly just on its paid income is about two hundred.

664
00:31:57,520 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, very cool, So you've got a really nice income,

665
00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:02,040
Speaker 4: which makes sense. And I wanted to know both of

666
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:04,560
Speaker 4: your incomes because you mentioned that you were debt recycling

667
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:08,000
Speaker 4: and like, there is no way when I was a

668
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:11,160
Speaker 4: financial advisor that I would let a couple even think

669
00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:13,720
Speaker 4: about dat recycling if they didn't have a duel income

670
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:16,200
Speaker 4: of more than two hundred thousand dollars together, like it

671
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:19,440
Speaker 4: just it wouldn't become an option because it's just there's

672
00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:21,960
Speaker 4: too much risk involved. And that's why I was like, oh,

673
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:24,000
Speaker 4: I want to know, Like, I've just got so many questions.

674
00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 4: Tell me, you've got their family, You've got some big

675
00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:31,640
Speaker 4: financial goals. What are they? What are we currently working towards.

676
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,560
Speaker 2: The moment is about paying down that mortgage. It will

677
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:37,080
Speaker 2: become much easier once all the sun starts cooled and

678
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:39,800
Speaker 2: by the year time. Because they care costs, they're just

679
00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:42,560
Speaker 2: I think that's one of the things that people don't

680
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:44,400
Speaker 2: talk to as much. They like, sure, we are on

681
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:47,120
Speaker 2: a very solid amount of money. Don't get me wrong,

682
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:49,720
Speaker 2: I'm very happy with that, but I mean their care

683
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:51,360
Speaker 2: cost us about eight hundred bucks a week.

684
00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:52,280
Speaker 4: Yep, yep.

685
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:55,880
Speaker 2: It is rude at this point. It is just rude.

686
00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:59,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, And like I don't want people to think I'm complaining.

687
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 4: It is a privilege to be able to pay for it.

688
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:03,200
Speaker 4: It is a privilege to go back to work. All

689
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:06,840
Speaker 4: of that stuff great, fantastic, but when you start sending

690
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:09,880
Speaker 4: your kid to daycare, irrespective of what you get back,

691
00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:12,239
Speaker 4: you have to have that amount of money in your

692
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:14,400
Speaker 4: account to go out of your account to then have

693
00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 4: a refund happen, and that's just a lot of money

694
00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:20,720
Speaker 4: going back and forth. It is expensive, Like I don't

695
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:22,480
Speaker 4: know what you're paying per day, but we at the

696
00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:25,880
Speaker 4: moment are paying like two hundred ish dollars a day

697
00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:29,040
Speaker 4: for daycare, and Harvey's in daycare two days a week,

698
00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:31,480
Speaker 4: which is four hundred dollars a week. And yes, it

699
00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:34,000
Speaker 4: is in our budget, but that's a significant amount of

700
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:35,560
Speaker 4: money that I look at and go, oh my god,

701
00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:37,400
Speaker 4: I could be investing that for his future, Like what

702
00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:40,880
Speaker 4: is going on here and you'll be double Yeah, we.

703
00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:43,960
Speaker 2: Pay about it's about eight hundred dollar a week after

704
00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:44,520
Speaker 2: the rebate.

705
00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:47,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, but your kids would be in daycare full time too,

706
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:48,720
Speaker 4: so that would be so expensive.

707
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 2: Yes, they're in full time.

708
00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 4: Oh my goodness.

709
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:53,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a lot of money coming out. So I

710
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:56,280
Speaker 2: think the one of the big financial goal is just

711
00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:59,120
Speaker 2: wait for the kids to be in school. That's definitely

712
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:01,280
Speaker 2: going to help, But it's all about paying down the

713
00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:04,440
Speaker 2: mortgage for us. That's a priority. We would love to

714
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:08,279
Speaker 2: be able to retire early, maybe you know, at around

715
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:11,480
Speaker 2: fifty would be ideal, so that we're still young and

716
00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:14,600
Speaker 2: so well. Can enjoy time with the kids and all

717
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:16,960
Speaker 2: of that's. Yeah, I think all of our focus at

718
00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:19,120
Speaker 2: the moment is on paying down the mortgage. Really, I

719
00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:19,520
Speaker 2: love this.

720
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:22,360
Speaker 4: It feels like you're super clear on what you're going

721
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:26,000
Speaker 4: to achieve. Have you always been this clear on your

722
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:28,600
Speaker 4: money goals? Or do you think that having engaged a

723
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:31,880
Speaker 4: financial advisor and spoken to mortgage brokers and doing debt recycling, like,

724
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:34,120
Speaker 4: do you think that that has made you clearer?

725
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:34,359
Speaker 2: Like?

726
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:36,440
Speaker 4: How do we get this clarity that you've got.

727
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:41,160
Speaker 2: I've always been a saver. Definitely still have that scarcity mindset,

728
00:34:41,239 --> 00:34:43,279
Speaker 2: and I think that's yeah, it's probably one thing I

729
00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:46,040
Speaker 2: need to work on. So I've always been a very

730
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:50,279
Speaker 2: good saver. I wasn't always saving for something. Sometimes it

731
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:52,359
Speaker 2: was just about having that money on the side just

732
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:55,040
Speaker 2: in case something happens. And I still have a bit

733
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:58,120
Speaker 2: of that. Like I've had quite a few health issues recently,

734
00:34:58,239 --> 00:35:00,960
Speaker 2: and I am so grateful that I had that money

735
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:02,840
Speaker 2: aside and I could afford to pay for that, and

736
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:06,000
Speaker 2: I could afford to pay for the psychiatrists for an

737
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:08,719
Speaker 2: ADHD diagnosis. That's going to help me all of those

738
00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:11,920
Speaker 2: kind of things. So I'm glad I have that, but

739
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:14,200
Speaker 2: in terms of the money goals, yeah, no, I don't

740
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:16,879
Speaker 2: think I was clear. I think it's also very much

741
00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:20,000
Speaker 2: about being with my husband, and you know, I think

742
00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:22,600
Speaker 2: he probably he grew up in a very different type

743
00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:25,200
Speaker 2: of household where money was a bit more talked about

744
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:27,960
Speaker 2: and he was much clear on his goals and he's

745
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:30,680
Speaker 2: been able to bring me onto that journey with him.

746
00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:33,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, and that's really beautiful. As well as being like,

747
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:36,640
Speaker 4: oh my god, yes, you deserve all of these and more.

748
00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 2: It's definitely been the best. I think There's been discussions about,

749
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:43,240
Speaker 2: you know, your choosing your partner is the biggest financial

750
00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:45,400
Speaker 2: decision that you make, but if I look at my

751
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:48,080
Speaker 2: path and where I'm now, for me, it's definitely been

752
00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:51,360
Speaker 2: the one that's had the biggest impact bossing negative and

753
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:54,080
Speaker 2: impositive in my life. In terms of my financial partner.

754
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:54,400
Speaker 2: I love it.

755
00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:56,319
Speaker 4: Let's go to a really quick break because on the

756
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:58,960
Speaker 4: flip side, I want to talk more about your investing.

757
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:02,120
Speaker 4: I need to know how your debt recycling, not just

758
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:04,080
Speaker 4: that you're doing it. I want the needy gritty. I

759
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:06,120
Speaker 4: also want to know about your debts, and I want

760
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:08,080
Speaker 4: to know your best and worst money habits. So guys,

761
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:15,160
Speaker 4: don't go anywhere money dice. We are back, and oh,

762
00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:18,440
Speaker 4: can we just dive straight back into this debt recycling conversation.

763
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:20,800
Speaker 2: Talk to me about your.

764
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:24,799
Speaker 4: Portfolio structure because we know you're investing, we know you're

765
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:29,319
Speaker 4: using debt recycling to invest, but what does that mean?

766
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:31,719
Speaker 4: How big is your portfolio? Are you investing on a

767
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:34,359
Speaker 4: monthly basis? Like, talk to me about all of the

768
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:35,200
Speaker 4: things you can.

769
00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:39,480
Speaker 2: Okay, So that recycling, it's something that we've looked at

770
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:42,799
Speaker 2: for several years before actually pulling the trigger because it's

771
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:45,400
Speaker 2: you know, it looks so complicated and it took us

772
00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:47,759
Speaker 2: so long to even get our head around the concept

773
00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:50,680
Speaker 2: of that splitting and all of those kind of things.

774
00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:53,480
Speaker 2: So one of the thing that was the trigger for

775
00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:55,719
Speaker 2: us is also with having you know, the two kids

776
00:36:55,719 --> 00:36:58,080
Speaker 2: in the family, we decided to see your financial advisor

777
00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:00,799
Speaker 2: because we also wanted our insurances sorted, and I know

778
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:03,759
Speaker 2: you're very big on insurances. So we've got all of that.

779
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:07,080
Speaker 2: We wanted the income and the death and the disability.

780
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:09,560
Speaker 2: All of that is now sorted, and that was a

781
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,799
Speaker 2: big thing, and we use that time to also talk

782
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:18,000
Speaker 2: about that de'st recycling. So we put a few options

783
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:21,600
Speaker 2: towards us. One was more a borrowing to invest, So

784
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:23,759
Speaker 2: just pull out a different loan so you don't have

785
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:26,040
Speaker 2: to inject any of your own cash. You keep your

786
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:28,239
Speaker 2: current cashlod you keep your current cash reserve. You're just

787
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:31,239
Speaker 2: doing the loan and use that to invest. But that's

788
00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:33,960
Speaker 2: not what we wanted. What we wanted was reduce our

789
00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:37,239
Speaker 2: mortgage and use that as an investments. So what that

790
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:40,680
Speaker 2: means is you need to have a solid amount of money,

791
00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:42,919
Speaker 2: like a bit of a deposit that you can use

792
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:47,360
Speaker 2: to kickstart the process. So I think we pulled nineteen

793
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:49,880
Speaker 2: thousand dollars, so that means we had to have that

794
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:52,759
Speaker 2: ninety thousand dollars in cash. Yeah, so we had to

795
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 2: have that in cash. We put that against the mortgage

796
00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:59,400
Speaker 2: to split it, and so that meant we reduce our

797
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:02,520
Speaker 2: mortgage bandwenty thousand dollars. And then we had another loan

798
00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:05,759
Speaker 2: on the side that was a ninety thousand dollars investment

799
00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:08,120
Speaker 2: loan that was fully offset by that cash we had

800
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:12,560
Speaker 2: pulled and put in. So that was that was the structure.

801
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:16,239
Speaker 2: Now that nineteen thousand dollars investment loan, we needed to

802
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:21,600
Speaker 2: first do a first big investment once again to start it.

803
00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:24,680
Speaker 2: So I think we put something like thirty k straight

804
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:28,560
Speaker 2: in straight into the market, so we're applefolo is. It's

805
00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:32,120
Speaker 2: CTF based, so we're just investing in ETFs there and

806
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:35,040
Speaker 2: then now from then on we put two and a

807
00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:38,399
Speaker 2: half thousand dollars a month into that, so just a

808
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:42,600
Speaker 2: dollar cost averaging on a monthly basis. So I think

809
00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:45,520
Speaker 2: that's going to give us two years. I think it

810
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:48,040
Speaker 2: is forty eight to two and a half. Yeah, that's

811
00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:51,719
Speaker 2: two years worth of investing without having to think about it.

812
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:54,399
Speaker 2: And so we're using those two years to rebuild our

813
00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:57,040
Speaker 2: savings so that in two years time we can do

814
00:38:57,120 --> 00:38:59,399
Speaker 2: that again. Put some more money towards mortgage ta get

815
00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:01,920
Speaker 2: out of the mortgage, put into the investment loan, and

816
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 2: keep going basically until the mortgage is down to zero

817
00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:07,919
Speaker 2: and all the money is in the investment loan.

818
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:10,320
Speaker 4: Yes, I love it because there's a clear strategy.

819
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:13,279
Speaker 2: Yes, but it took me I want to understand it

820
00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:15,520
Speaker 2: because I was like, wait a minute, we're not really

821
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:17,759
Speaker 2: paying down the mortgage because we're just having another loan

822
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:19,520
Speaker 2: into it. So at the end of there were still

823
00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:22,160
Speaker 2: we still have the loan. We're still awe the money.

824
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:25,320
Speaker 2: But the way it works is I have a ninety

825
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:28,000
Speaker 2: thousand dollars loan, but once that money is full into

826
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:31,720
Speaker 2: the stock market, hopefully it's worth more than ninety thousand

827
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:34,399
Speaker 2: dollars because the stop my kids and going up, So

828
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:37,320
Speaker 2: we would be if we wanted to, we would be

829
00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:39,480
Speaker 2: in a position at the end to fully repay that

830
00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:42,120
Speaker 2: money and still have some leftover. Then how we do it,

831
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:44,560
Speaker 2: that's a conversation for later on, depending on what the

832
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:46,319
Speaker 2: market is like at the time. Do we want to

833
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:49,120
Speaker 2: repay a big chunk at once, do we want to

834
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:52,319
Speaker 2: just repay it slowly? We'll figure that, I think when

835
00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:53,600
Speaker 2: we get to it in a few years.

836
00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:57,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, And that can happen over time exactly, And you

837
00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:59,319
Speaker 4: guys are still young enough to make the most of

838
00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:02,480
Speaker 4: that as well. Like debt recycling, I would say if

839
00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:05,279
Speaker 4: you're very very close to retirement, is not a good

840
00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:07,600
Speaker 4: idea because the risk is just too high and you

841
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:09,480
Speaker 4: don't have enough time on your side. But you guys

842
00:40:09,520 --> 00:40:11,560
Speaker 4: have so much time on your side to get through that,

843
00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:16,120
Speaker 4: and I think that it lowers the risk that you've

844
00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:18,360
Speaker 4: started with the cash, you paid it off your mortgage

845
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:21,440
Speaker 4: and then leveraged your mortgage into the market. That makes me,

846
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:24,680
Speaker 4: as an ex financial advisor, feel much better about it,

847
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:29,000
Speaker 4: because some people just go in and leverage their equity.

848
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:31,399
Speaker 4: So don't get me wrong, it's not a bad strategy still,

849
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:34,120
Speaker 4: but they might find some equity in their mortgage, release

850
00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:37,680
Speaker 4: that and then use that to invest. But you then

851
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:41,680
Speaker 4: have no cash that you've coughed up, so there's no fallback.

852
00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:44,320
Speaker 4: So I feel like yours is. Yes, debt recycling is risky,

853
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:46,280
Speaker 4: but I feel like you're doing it in a smarter

854
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:48,719
Speaker 4: way where you probably have a little bit more stability.

855
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:51,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's you know. That's while we went to

856
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:54,359
Speaker 2: a financial advisor to advise us really on when would

857
00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:57,520
Speaker 2: be the best strategy for us and our conditions.

858
00:40:57,640 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, give us the good strategy and we will run

859
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:01,960
Speaker 4: with it and we'll do it. But sometimes I just

860
00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:03,480
Speaker 4: want to be told I get it.

861
00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:04,120
Speaker 2: I get it.

862
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:07,279
Speaker 4: Talk to me about debt. Then you mentioned you have

863
00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:09,719
Speaker 4: your mortgage and then you have your investment loans. How

864
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:11,719
Speaker 4: much debt ere in? What does that look like?

865
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:18,439
Speaker 2: So our mortgage at this stage is at still eight

866
00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:23,080
Speaker 2: hundred and sixty thound, so yeah, what that looks like?

867
00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:26,760
Speaker 2: It's you know, still solid repayments there, so we're hoping

868
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 2: we're going to go and see a few more interest

869
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:32,200
Speaker 2: rates decreed over the next few months and would be lovely.

870
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:36,200
Speaker 2: And then we've got the investment loan on the side,

871
00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:39,399
Speaker 2: So that was a ninety thousand investment loan, but quite

872
00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:40,719
Speaker 2: a bit of that still, half of that I think

873
00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:43,279
Speaker 2: is offset still at this stage by that money that

874
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:45,759
Speaker 2: we pulled out. And that's it in terms of debt.

875
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:48,880
Speaker 2: I do have a credit card, but I paid fully

876
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:51,719
Speaker 2: every month, so I don't really consider that as a debt.

877
00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:54,040
Speaker 4: No, that makes sense. And you why do you have

878
00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:55,720
Speaker 4: a credit card? Is it so that you can collect

879
00:41:55,719 --> 00:41:58,200
Speaker 4: points or just manage cash flow better? Like what's the

880
00:41:58,239 --> 00:41:59,920
Speaker 4: plan around the credit card?

881
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:01,200
Speaker 2: Point is points? Yeah?

882
00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:03,200
Speaker 4: Points, queen. I love this, And what are you doing

883
00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:04,080
Speaker 4: with your points.

884
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:06,080
Speaker 2: At the moment? Not much less time. When I had

885
00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:07,960
Speaker 2: my credit card and I had to closet, I just

886
00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:10,400
Speaker 2: use it to get a bunch of gift cards and

887
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:12,440
Speaker 2: I've pen my groceries for a few weeks with that

888
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:14,880
Speaker 2: so that it was free groceries, so that was lovely.

889
00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:16,960
Speaker 2: Only have that credit card for about a year, so

890
00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:20,080
Speaker 2: it wasn't too much. But my thinking is if I

891
00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:23,000
Speaker 2: have to spend the money, because I don't increase my

892
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:25,319
Speaker 2: spending because I have a credit card, it's just I

893
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:26,840
Speaker 2: use it the exact same way I would use a

894
00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:29,800
Speaker 2: debit card. So if it's money that I have to spend,

895
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:31,120
Speaker 2: might as well get something back for it.

896
00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:33,560
Speaker 4: Loook, I'm on your team. But also we need to

897
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:36,160
Speaker 4: be so careful because if we're not good at money management,

898
00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:38,480
Speaker 4: like you clearly are, we end up in a pickle

899
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:40,920
Speaker 4: because we end up spending more than we earned. So

900
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:43,720
Speaker 4: I feel like, yes, it can be a fantastic tool

901
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:47,000
Speaker 4: and I've only just started to really utilize it now.

902
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 4: I feel a bit more mature. Baby me. She would

903
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:51,480
Speaker 4: have gone Ham, and you know what she did, go Ham.

904
00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:54,040
Speaker 4: But today's me. I'm like, oh, this is a very

905
00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:56,840
Speaker 4: good strategy. I need to be responsible with this, but

906
00:42:57,480 --> 00:42:59,440
Speaker 4: I really like it. I want to go back to

907
00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:02,399
Speaker 4: the house conversation for a hot second. You've got eight

908
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:06,160
Speaker 4: hundred and sixty thousand dollars mortgage. What is that property

909
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:07,960
Speaker 4: worth and when did you first purchase?

910
00:43:08,280 --> 00:43:12,880
Speaker 2: Okay, so we first purchased in twenty twenty for five

911
00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:16,480
Speaker 2: hundred and something. So that was the little cottage that

912
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:18,360
Speaker 2: were there on the land. So that's the cottage that

913
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:21,799
Speaker 2: we sold and we kept the land and then we

914
00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:24,680
Speaker 2: did a build. I think the build was worth about

915
00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:29,400
Speaker 2: six hundred something like that. So let's say the investment

916
00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:32,000
Speaker 2: into all of it was about one to one point

917
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:36,160
Speaker 2: one something like that, and that property now is worth

918
00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:40,760
Speaker 2: probably around one point five one point six. Ah. How good.

919
00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:42,920
Speaker 4: And is that the house.

920
00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:45,600
Speaker 2: That you live in? Yes? Yes, and that's very much

921
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:47,000
Speaker 2: our forever house. Yeah.

922
00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:49,080
Speaker 4: So it's like your family home. And is that the

923
00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:51,480
Speaker 4: plan to kind of stay in that family home for

924
00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:53,480
Speaker 4: a long period of time or are their plans to

925
00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:54,960
Speaker 4: upgrade or change or move.

926
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:57,480
Speaker 2: Now one hundred percent staying there. So I think it's

927
00:43:57,520 --> 00:44:00,120
Speaker 2: pretty much two years to the day that we've in

928
00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:03,480
Speaker 2: this house, and that is the longest I spent in

929
00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:06,120
Speaker 2: one place since I've been eighteen since I moved out

930
00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:09,359
Speaker 2: a house. I've moved out seventeen times in seventeen years. Well,

931
00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:12,799
Speaker 2: I am done. I am done with moving. This is

932
00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:13,600
Speaker 2: my house.

933
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:17,120
Speaker 4: Now, you're like, I'm not leaving, Sorry about that. That's

934
00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:20,359
Speaker 4: not an option exactly. I love this all right, So

935
00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:22,680
Speaker 4: tell me, I feel like you've got some pretty good

936
00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:24,520
Speaker 4: money habits. I mean, he came in and he said,

937
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:26,799
Speaker 4: I'm an as, So what do you think is your

938
00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:29,000
Speaker 4: best money habit? I have a sneaky suspicion that might be,

939
00:44:29,040 --> 00:44:30,399
Speaker 4: like your ability to save.

940
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:35,120
Speaker 2: I think it's certain it's my tracking. I am obsessive

941
00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:39,120
Speaker 2: with my tracking spending. So I used to track every month.

942
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:41,239
Speaker 2: I would just get my expenses every month and sort

943
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:44,360
Speaker 2: of categorize them. I've just realized that one month is

944
00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:46,680
Speaker 2: just too long because I would be very good at

945
00:44:46,680 --> 00:44:49,680
Speaker 2: sticking out a goal for two weeks, and then my

946
00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:52,200
Speaker 2: brand would just go, ooh, two weeks enough, let's go

947
00:44:52,239 --> 00:44:55,319
Speaker 2: do something else. So now I track daily. So every

948
00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:58,120
Speaker 2: morning I opened my computer and I opened my bank

949
00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:00,239
Speaker 2: cap and I put my expenses in so I know

950
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:03,279
Speaker 2: exactly how I'm tracking at any point of the month,

951
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:05,960
Speaker 2: and then it updates everything, and I do my net

952
00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:08,120
Speaker 2: worth monthly and I've got the charts and the collars

953
00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:11,120
Speaker 2: and I love it. I am absolutely obsessed with my spreadsheet.

954
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:14,919
Speaker 2: So that's definitely my best money I've been there.

955
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:18,720
Speaker 4: I love that. On the flip side, what's your worst

956
00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:20,439
Speaker 4: money habit? Do you even have one?

957
00:45:20,680 --> 00:45:23,640
Speaker 2: It is so I think there's two things. One thing

958
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:26,480
Speaker 2: is my kids. There They're my worst money habits just

959
00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:29,319
Speaker 2: in themselves because I just can't resist like a little

960
00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:32,000
Speaker 2: treat for them, or I can say no to treat

961
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:34,440
Speaker 2: for myself easy, like I can rent that in but

962
00:45:34,520 --> 00:45:37,200
Speaker 2: when it comes to my kid, My kids like to

963
00:45:37,239 --> 00:45:38,919
Speaker 2: hear both of them getting like, you know, a book

964
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:40,799
Speaker 2: or puzzle or a little treats of just going to

965
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:43,319
Speaker 2: the cafe with them and seeing the little face. Yeah,

966
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:48,319
Speaker 2: I am much much harder to stop there. And the

967
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:53,400
Speaker 2: other one is definitely that I struggle to spend. I

968
00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:57,200
Speaker 2: still have the scarcity mindset. I'm still scared of spending.

969
00:45:57,280 --> 00:45:59,759
Speaker 2: I still think about it. What if I would love

970
00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:01,920
Speaker 2: to be able to sort of give up some of

971
00:46:01,920 --> 00:46:04,000
Speaker 2: the freelance, to have more times in the evenings and

972
00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:07,080
Speaker 2: be less tired and less stressed. But I just can't

973
00:46:07,480 --> 00:46:10,000
Speaker 2: help it. I am. Yeah, it's always like, but what

974
00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:12,160
Speaker 2: if something happens, what if you know, what if might

975
00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:14,440
Speaker 2: lose my job. I got made redundant from a job

976
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:17,600
Speaker 2: about eighteen months ago. I was seven weeks pregnant with

977
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:18,840
Speaker 2: my second kid at the time.

978
00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:21,960
Speaker 4: Oh my god, Yeah, that would have been so stressful.

979
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:25,600
Speaker 2: So trying to find another job in that situation was really,

980
00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:28,279
Speaker 2: really hard, and I was so glad I had my

981
00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:30,520
Speaker 2: Friendlance to fall back on and be able to dial

982
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:33,440
Speaker 2: it up real quick to get some money in that.

983
00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:36,600
Speaker 2: Now I still can't help myself. And I was like,

984
00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:39,000
Speaker 2: but if I stop it and then something happened and

985
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:40,759
Speaker 2: I don't have anything to fall back on, what's going

986
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:43,640
Speaker 2: to happen? So I still struggle with that. We're also

987
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:48,480
Speaker 2: planning a big holiday next year and same like spending

988
00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:50,680
Speaker 2: for that. When I see those numbers, they scare me,

989
00:46:50,719 --> 00:46:54,000
Speaker 2: and you know, we have the money, and my husband

990
00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:57,080
Speaker 2: really really rightly told me, it's like, yes, but what's

991
00:46:57,080 --> 00:46:58,799
Speaker 2: the point of saving so that we're able to do

992
00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:01,560
Speaker 2: it in ten years when the kids are older? When

993
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:04,120
Speaker 2: we actually can do it now? We do have the savings.

994
00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:06,600
Speaker 2: We're not you know, we're not over spending for this.

995
00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:08,960
Speaker 2: We're we're still doing it the right way. But you know,

996
00:47:09,239 --> 00:47:11,520
Speaker 2: why would you wait and maybe do it in ten

997
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:13,080
Speaker 2: years when you know we can do it now.

998
00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:14,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, it sounds like maybe there's a little bit of

999
00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:15,640
Speaker 4: work to do.

1000
00:47:16,120 --> 00:47:19,959
Speaker 2: Yes, definitely, And you know, we're we're both getting better

1001
00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:23,279
Speaker 2: with my husband as a trusting each other with money.

1002
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:25,200
Speaker 2: We still have a we do have a joint account

1003
00:47:25,280 --> 00:47:28,200
Speaker 2: for all, you know, everything that's mortgage and kids and

1004
00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:30,640
Speaker 2: and all the sort of things. But we're also now

1005
00:47:30,719 --> 00:47:33,839
Speaker 2: more open with our own money where you know, we've

1006
00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:36,640
Speaker 2: been together seven years, so it's probably good that there

1007
00:47:36,680 --> 00:47:37,799
Speaker 2: is some progress.

1008
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:40,239
Speaker 4: No one dred percent And I think you're absolutely on

1009
00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:42,920
Speaker 4: the right track as well. And given you know, you

1010
00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:45,000
Speaker 4: were so open with us about your history and where

1011
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:46,839
Speaker 4: you've come from and what you're going through, I get it.

1012
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:48,719
Speaker 4: And you know what, it's not very helpful to then

1013
00:47:48,800 --> 00:47:51,879
Speaker 4: also be made redundant that proves that you needed your

1014
00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:54,280
Speaker 4: second job. Like I think I'd be in your shoes

1015
00:47:54,320 --> 00:47:55,799
Speaker 4: and going, I don't really want to get rid of

1016
00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:59,160
Speaker 4: this now, especially while you're carrying debt. And I'm not

1017
00:47:59,239 --> 00:48:01,960
Speaker 4: saying that you should, but I think that I would

1018
00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:06,000
Speaker 4: fully understand that situation and that mindset. But it does take,

1019
00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:09,920
Speaker 4: as you already know, significant work to get out of

1020
00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:12,080
Speaker 4: that mindset and going no, no, no, that's not the reality.

1021
00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:13,560
Speaker 4: This isn't who I want to be or what I

1022
00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:16,080
Speaker 4: want to do. And is that the only thing that

1023
00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:18,600
Speaker 4: you reckon you have to work on to maybe get

1024
00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:21,000
Speaker 4: to an A plus or what else would have to

1025
00:48:21,080 --> 00:48:22,239
Speaker 4: change for you to get there.

1026
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:24,400
Speaker 2: No, I think that's it. I think if I was

1027
00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:27,279
Speaker 2: a bit more reasonable sometime with the kids spending, and

1028
00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:31,440
Speaker 2: if I was a bit more relaxed around my own money, yeah,

1029
00:48:31,480 --> 00:48:32,799
Speaker 2: I think I'd be pretty good there.

1030
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:34,839
Speaker 4: I'm the same as you. I feel like before I

1031
00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:37,120
Speaker 4: was a mum, I was like, oh no, I won't

1032
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:39,800
Speaker 4: get carried away with books and puzzles and little things

1033
00:48:39,840 --> 00:48:42,920
Speaker 4: that he wants. And now he's only what like twenty

1034
00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:46,040
Speaker 4: months old or something, and I'm literally like, oh my goodness,

1035
00:48:46,440 --> 00:48:48,919
Speaker 4: Like if he wants something, I'm like, yeah, baby, let's

1036
00:48:48,960 --> 00:48:51,000
Speaker 4: go get it. You want to go get baby Chinos?

1037
00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:53,040
Speaker 4: Like I just love spending the time with him, and

1038
00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:55,359
Speaker 4: like watching his little face light up when he has

1039
00:48:55,400 --> 00:48:59,400
Speaker 4: a new book, like, ah, it's so bad. It's dangerous,

1040
00:48:59,440 --> 00:49:00,080
Speaker 4: isn't it.

1041
00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:02,120
Speaker 2: And it's the little things because it's not you know.

1042
00:49:02,239 --> 00:49:04,520
Speaker 2: I always say, like, I don't want to spoil my kid.

1043
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:06,960
Speaker 2: I don't want to know, constantly buy him new toys

1044
00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:08,800
Speaker 2: and new things. But the little things, the books and

1045
00:49:09,080 --> 00:49:11,279
Speaker 2: the time together and oh you want to have a

1046
00:49:11,280 --> 00:49:13,480
Speaker 2: little ride on that little merry go around the shopping

1047
00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:15,680
Speaker 2: center and yes, sure it's only three books and.

1048
00:49:15,760 --> 00:49:18,680
Speaker 4: Just it adds No, it does add up. It does

1049
00:49:18,680 --> 00:49:20,600
Speaker 4: add up, and I have become that mum, And like,

1050
00:49:20,719 --> 00:49:22,440
Speaker 4: I don't know, I don't think you can spoil your

1051
00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:24,799
Speaker 4: kids with books, Like I just have this belief and

1052
00:49:24,840 --> 00:49:29,000
Speaker 4: I will forever like believe that if my kid asks

1053
00:49:29,040 --> 00:49:30,960
Speaker 4: me for a book, he can have it. Like if

1054
00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:32,520
Speaker 4: you ask for other stuff, I'll be like, nah, but

1055
00:49:32,560 --> 00:49:35,520
Speaker 4: if you want a book, like, I will absolutely always

1056
00:49:35,520 --> 00:49:37,960
Speaker 4: buy you books. I hope that that is something that

1057
00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:41,040
Speaker 4: you know, hopefully sparks a lot of love for reading

1058
00:49:41,120 --> 00:49:42,960
Speaker 4: and whatnot, and I know that's good for them. So

1059
00:49:42,960 --> 00:49:44,440
Speaker 4: I'm kind of like, do you want to go to

1060
00:49:44,520 --> 00:49:46,880
Speaker 4: Dimicks and like the Dimicks at my house or like

1061
00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:50,359
Speaker 4: close to my house is across from Coles, So that's

1062
00:49:50,440 --> 00:49:51,480
Speaker 4: not helpful for me.

1063
00:49:53,040 --> 00:49:55,440
Speaker 2: My mom was a literature teacher, so I grew up

1064
00:49:55,480 --> 00:49:59,399
Speaker 2: surrounded with books and that's definitely something that probably something

1065
00:49:59,400 --> 00:50:01,399
Speaker 2: I should spend bit less as well. I do have

1066
00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:04,520
Speaker 2: the library subscription and all that, but yeah, for my kids,

1067
00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:06,920
Speaker 2: I want the walls covered with books. I'd be happy

1068
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:07,120
Speaker 2: with that.

1069
00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:09,880
Speaker 4: I love it. I love it or money direst Unfortunately,

1070
00:50:09,880 --> 00:50:11,600
Speaker 4: we've run out of time. I wish we had so

1071
00:50:11,680 --> 00:50:13,640
Speaker 4: much more time to chat. But this has been such

1072
00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:17,719
Speaker 4: a beautiful story of you really starting from scratch, not

1073
00:50:17,840 --> 00:50:21,000
Speaker 4: once but twice, and then I know, still having a

1074
00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:23,479
Speaker 4: little bit of baggage when it comes to the emotional side,

1075
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:25,520
Speaker 4: but it sounds like you're killing it and the plan

1076
00:50:25,640 --> 00:50:27,560
Speaker 4: is to retire by fifty So I just think this

1077
00:50:27,719 --> 00:50:30,399
Speaker 4: is cool, like you've done an epic job, and I'm

1078
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:34,239
Speaker 4: just so excited about where you're at now. So thank

1079
00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:36,440
Speaker 4: you so much for sharing your journey with me. I

1080
00:50:36,520 --> 00:50:38,319
Speaker 4: know that my community are going to love it just

1081
00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:39,279
Speaker 4: as much as I have.

1082
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:40,840
Speaker 2: Thank you very much for having me.

1083
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:49,600
Speaker 5: If I shared on She's on the Money is general

1084
00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:52,920
Speaker 5: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances.

1085
00:50:53,280 --> 00:50:56,680
Speaker 4: She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and

1086
00:50:56,719 --> 00:50:59,160
Speaker 4: should not be relied upon to make an investment or

1087
00:50:59,239 --> 00:51:03,240
Speaker 4: financial disease. If you do choose to buy a financial product.

1088
00:51:02,920 --> 00:51:06,880
Speaker 5: Read the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored

1089
00:51:06,920 --> 00:51:10,400
Speaker 5: towards your needs. Victoria Divine and Sheese on the Money

1090
00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:14,080
Speaker 5: are authorized representatives of Money sherper P t y lt

1091
00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:16,919
Speaker 5: D A B N three two one six four nine

1092
00:51:17,040 --> 00:51:20,520
Speaker 5: two seven seven zero eight afs L four five, one,

1093
00:51:20,719 --> 00:51:21,520
Speaker 5: two eight nine,