1 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:07,120 Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the 2 00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:11,240 Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers. Now Gooday. This 3 00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:14,040 Speaker 1: is doctor Justin Coulson, the founder of Happy Families dot com. 4 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:16,000 Speaker 1: Do you thank you so much for joining me today 5 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:19,880 Speaker 1: on the Happy Families Podcast. Lately, it seems that boys 6 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:23,560 Speaker 1: can't catch a break, and in some ways they don't 7 00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:25,720 Speaker 1: deserve it, at least some of them because of some 8 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,640 Speaker 1: of the challenges that are occurring. My guest on the 9 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:34,240 Speaker 1: podcast today is doctor Stephanie Westcott. Stephanie is a researcher 10 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:37,480 Speaker 1: and lecturer in the School of Education, Culture and Society 11 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:41,080 Speaker 1: at Monash University and just recently wrote a piece for 12 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:43,199 Speaker 1: The Conversation that has I don't know how else to 13 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:46,440 Speaker 1: say it's Stephanie. Would blown up be the right way 14 00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:48,360 Speaker 1: to describe what's happened? I mean, you must have been 15 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:50,800 Speaker 1: doing so much media around what you've written. 16 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:52,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, we've been doing a lot recently. 17 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:55,840 Speaker 3: Our research was also covered a few months ago by 18 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:59,000 Speaker 3: ABC seven thirty and so that generated a lot of 19 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,840 Speaker 3: interest too, which is good because they're necessary conversation. 20 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:04,520 Speaker 1: So we're going to talk about this name that just 21 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:07,559 Speaker 1: keeps on coming up again and again and again Andrew Tate. 22 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:11,280 Speaker 1: I thought he disappeared. I thought with the whole trafficking 23 00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:13,240 Speaker 1: issue over in Romania, I thought that was the end. 24 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:15,600 Speaker 1: But he keeps on coming up. You've done this research, 25 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:19,200 Speaker 1: and specifically, I mean Andrew Tate is a symptom of 26 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:21,720 Speaker 1: a larger problem. It's not really a conversation about him 27 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:26,120 Speaker 1: as much as it's a conversation about misogynistic views about 28 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:31,240 Speaker 1: women obviously that are infiltrating Australian schools and the way 29 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:34,960 Speaker 1: that too many teenage boys are being influenced by this 30 00:01:35,959 --> 00:01:38,480 Speaker 1: ideology that is so heartful and so bad for them 31 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:40,920 Speaker 1: as well as for the people around them, especially women 32 00:01:40,959 --> 00:01:43,760 Speaker 1: around them. Would you tell me a little bit about 33 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:46,039 Speaker 1: the research that you did. What was it, who'd you 34 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:47,200 Speaker 1: talk to? What did you find? 35 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:50,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, So we began this research because there was some 36 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:54,320 Speaker 3: news coming out of the UK that Andrew Tate had 37 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:58,440 Speaker 3: infiltrated schools in the UK basically, and that boys seemed 38 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:02,240 Speaker 3: to broadly be big fans of him and he was 39 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:06,360 Speaker 3: actually changing their behavior, and so we were curious about 40 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,800 Speaker 3: whether this was happening in Australia. So we put a 41 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:12,800 Speaker 3: call out to speak to women working in schools, and 42 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:16,920 Speaker 3: we were inundated with emails basically from women wanting to 43 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:20,920 Speaker 3: talk to us. We decided to speak to thirty and 44 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:24,600 Speaker 3: we managed to caption only every state and territory except 45 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:29,760 Speaker 3: for ACT, both primary secondary and every sector too, so 46 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:33,359 Speaker 3: faith based, independent and government schools. And we chatted to 47 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:36,800 Speaker 3: those women in depth about what they were experiencing and 48 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:40,520 Speaker 3: seeing in their schools. And our findings confirmed what was 49 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:43,520 Speaker 3: happening in the UK that was absolutely rife here as well. 50 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:45,560 Speaker 1: Okay, so when you say it was absolutely rife, I 51 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:50,280 Speaker 1: presume you're talking about misogynistic attitudes. This is obviously going 52 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:52,480 Speaker 1: to be a little bit sensitive and for parents who 53 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:54,600 Speaker 1: are listening with their kids, depending on the age of 54 00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:56,280 Speaker 1: your child, you may want to press pause and come 55 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:58,880 Speaker 1: back to it later. I want to ask you some specifics. 56 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:02,880 Speaker 1: What can you tell us about the experiences that women 57 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:07,400 Speaker 1: are having as they teach or work in other roles 58 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:10,720 Speaker 1: in education contexts, Like you said, primary school, high school, 59 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:13,840 Speaker 1: a whole lot, private and public everything. What are they 60 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:14,280 Speaker 1: telling you? 61 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:17,120 Speaker 3: So the first thing to say, and we say this 62 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:20,440 Speaker 3: in our research papers too, is that sexism and sexual 63 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:24,800 Speaker 3: harassment misogyny have always been part of schooling there's research 64 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:28,560 Speaker 3: dating back a few decades now on this, so we 65 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:33,080 Speaker 3: accepted that. But also what we noticed when we spoke 66 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:36,600 Speaker 3: to women was that the sort of frequency and tenor 67 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:41,480 Speaker 3: I suppose, of these kind of behaviors have increased. That 68 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:45,520 Speaker 3: women were saying to us that boys were sort of 69 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:51,080 Speaker 3: just starting to become quite hostile towards them, challenging their 70 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:55,680 Speaker 3: sort of their authority and position, quite often wanting to 71 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:59,200 Speaker 3: engage in very hostile debates about Andrew Tate and things 72 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:03,680 Speaker 3: that he says, very sexualized comments about women and their appearances, 73 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:08,800 Speaker 3: gendered slurs towards women and girls in the classroom, some 74 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:14,560 Speaker 3: violence too, physical intimidation and acts of violence like for example, 75 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:18,320 Speaker 3: a boy spat in his teacher's water bottling class, but 76 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:23,159 Speaker 3: actually really disturbing and disgusting statements made towards women as well. 77 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:26,760 Speaker 3: But these aren't just sort of one off raretis sort 78 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:30,040 Speaker 3: of what black they might have been that every single 79 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:33,200 Speaker 3: day for women in schools, and two of the women 80 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,440 Speaker 3: out of the thirty who we spoke to have decided 81 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:38,080 Speaker 3: to leave teaching because of this behavior and the sort 82 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:41,359 Speaker 3: of lack of support and thinking to themselves, I can't 83 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:43,840 Speaker 3: come to work and deal with this behavior every day. 84 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:47,080 Speaker 3: It's no one should have to, of course, especially without 85 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,960 Speaker 3: institutional support. Step. 86 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:54,200 Speaker 1: When I'm speaking in schools, I unfortunately consistently hear from 87 00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 1: usually female teachers. Sometimes it'll just be whoever I'm talking to, 88 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:00,760 Speaker 1: they'll tell me that they know that it's rife conversations 89 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:05,440 Speaker 1: around boys as young as grade four who are making 90 00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:07,880 Speaker 1: sexual sounds, groaning and moaning. Of course, when the teacher 91 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:10,279 Speaker 1: asks them what they're doing or what have they deny 92 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:12,760 Speaker 1: it's not what you think it is, and they've always 93 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,400 Speaker 1: got a story. They've got a way of getting out 94 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:16,080 Speaker 1: of it. You're not in your head as I'm saying this. 95 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,359 Speaker 1: Tell me a little bit more about what you found. 96 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,840 Speaker 1: How young is this happening, What kinds of behaviors are 97 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:24,000 Speaker 1: specifically being reported in those thirty interviews that you did. 98 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:26,919 Speaker 3: In terms of age primary school teachers. We spoke to 99 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:30,320 Speaker 3: that sexual groaning noise is a really common thing that's happening. 100 00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:33,120 Speaker 3: It was reported recently, I think in the Sending Morning Herald. 101 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,720 Speaker 3: I think that's actually separate though to what we're talking about. 102 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:39,360 Speaker 3: In regards to Andrew Tate, How's that I think that 103 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:43,280 Speaker 3: a lot of boys when they're making that sound, I 104 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:45,000 Speaker 3: would guess that. 105 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:46,800 Speaker 2: A lot of them don't actually know what they're doing. 106 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:49,280 Speaker 3: I think some of them do, But I think some 107 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:52,240 Speaker 3: of these things spread in schools as sort of habits 108 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:56,640 Speaker 3: or provocations that I think specifically can be contributed to 109 00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:59,960 Speaker 3: the accessibility of pornography without a doubt. 110 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,600 Speaker 2: But I think Andrew Tate is separate to that in that. 111 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:07,880 Speaker 3: What we suggest he is doing is actually almost radicalizing boys, 112 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:12,480 Speaker 3: training them deliberately, very deliberately doing this because it's income 113 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:16,680 Speaker 3: generation for him, recruiting them to share anti feminist and 114 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:21,400 Speaker 3: anti women ideas, to start to see themselves as victims 115 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:25,000 Speaker 3: in the world of the progress of feminism and of 116 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:29,400 Speaker 3: maybe changes to gender power relations in society, and that 117 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:33,400 Speaker 3: sort of victim position and sort of framing yourself in 118 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:35,479 Speaker 3: that way works very well for Andrew Tate. We've seen 119 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:38,320 Speaker 3: him weaponize that since being charged with a range of 120 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:42,279 Speaker 3: things in Romania. But boys are starting to vocalize these 121 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,640 Speaker 3: kind of views and beliefs to classrooms as well. 122 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:48,920 Speaker 1: My contention was going to be, and I was going 123 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:50,279 Speaker 1: to put it to you and ask you if I 124 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:52,400 Speaker 1: was on the right track or not. My contention was 125 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:54,880 Speaker 1: going to be that in the same way that Andrew 126 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:58,760 Speaker 1: Tate promotes a misogynistic worldview, so too, just the explicit 127 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:01,120 Speaker 1: content that young people seeing, whether they're in grade three 128 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:03,320 Speaker 1: or whether they're finishing high school, and both of those 129 00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:06,360 Speaker 1: things combining and just creating this horrible melting pot of 130 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,920 Speaker 1: I guess, male aggression or dominance or an expectation that 131 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:14,080 Speaker 1: they can get away with this kind of thing. So maybe, 132 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:16,840 Speaker 1: before I go into what you're saying, would you push 133 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:19,760 Speaker 1: against that or you say that's a reasonable position to take. 134 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:23,880 Speaker 3: I would say that's reasonable broadly. But I think what 135 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:29,000 Speaker 3: Angrew Tate is offering is slightly different in that he, 136 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:33,480 Speaker 3: I guess, vocalizers or intellectualizes, not that I'm calling him 137 00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:39,360 Speaker 3: intellectual at all, but intellectualizes maybe feelings that boys might 138 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:43,120 Speaker 3: have about, you know, being a little bit disaffected about society, 139 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:45,400 Speaker 3: a little bit confused about how things are going. 140 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:47,680 Speaker 2: Not quite sure where they fit. 141 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:51,840 Speaker 3: And he offers a really neat and prescriptive narrative for 142 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:53,120 Speaker 3: how to show up in the world and how to 143 00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:53,760 Speaker 3: be in the world. 144 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:56,680 Speaker 2: And that is related absolutely. 145 00:07:56,120 --> 00:08:00,280 Speaker 3: To very explicit content that feeds into derogatory ideas about 146 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:03,040 Speaker 3: girls and women. They do work together, but slightly in 147 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:03,920 Speaker 3: slightly different ways. 148 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:07,040 Speaker 1: So I think I'm really hearing you say, is that 149 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:09,480 Speaker 1: the Androw tape phenomenon, And if it's not him, it 150 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:11,400 Speaker 1: will be somebody else. He's not the only person out 151 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:15,120 Speaker 1: there with these views. What they're doing essentially is radicalizing 152 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:20,040 Speaker 1: masculinity and turning it into a masculinity is becoming a 153 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:22,840 Speaker 1: victim status in some ways, saying well, hang on now, 154 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:24,680 Speaker 1: the girls have got too much power. We've seen the 155 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:27,520 Speaker 1: sexual revolution change things to a point where there's a 156 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:29,840 Speaker 1: lack of balance and we need to reclaim that. Is 157 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:31,440 Speaker 1: that a better restatement of that. 158 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:35,280 Speaker 3: I think that's absolutely what we're seeing, and even that's 159 00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:37,600 Speaker 3: what women who we spoke to in our study reported 160 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:41,080 Speaker 3: as well, saying things like boys now view us women 161 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:46,280 Speaker 3: as their oppressence and they have been exposed to sort 162 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:49,040 Speaker 3: of these debates online about things like the gender wage 163 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:54,880 Speaker 3: gap and myths about feminism's goals and aims, and that 164 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:58,559 Speaker 3: is very much a radical or radicalized view about women 165 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:02,720 Speaker 3: and about feminism, And the effects of hearing that narrative 166 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,160 Speaker 3: is that you start to treat women and girls with 167 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:09,280 Speaker 3: suspicion and start to understand yourself in relation to them. 168 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:09,960 Speaker 2: Very differently. 169 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:13,720 Speaker 1: I hear this sort of stuff and I'm just I 170 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:15,440 Speaker 1: know that I've got a PhD in psychology and all 171 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:17,520 Speaker 1: the staff, right, but I hear this and I just 172 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:19,520 Speaker 1: kind of think, can't we just be nice to each other. 173 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:21,760 Speaker 1: I'm writing a book at the moment about bringing up 174 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:25,160 Speaker 1: boys and my definition of masculinity, the working definition that 175 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:28,120 Speaker 1: I'm reasonably settled on. It might need some more tweaking 176 00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:30,640 Speaker 1: as the book is refined, but the idea is that 177 00:09:30,679 --> 00:09:32,800 Speaker 1: if you're a real man, if you hold your masculinity 178 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:35,000 Speaker 1: well and in a healthy way, that you make the 179 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,920 Speaker 1: people around you feel stronger and safer. And it's exactly 180 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:41,000 Speaker 1: the opposite of what you're describing. I mean, and it's 181 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:42,880 Speaker 1: not that hard to be nice. Well, it doesn't feel 182 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,600 Speaker 1: to me to be that hard to be nice. I've 183 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:47,160 Speaker 1: got a wife and six daughters. I'm nice to them, 184 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:51,040 Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? Just I find it infuriating. 185 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:52,960 Speaker 1: I'm sure that parents are listening to this, going how 186 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:56,240 Speaker 1: is this guy infecting our kids? When you look at 187 00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:58,600 Speaker 1: this research, you spoke to all of these women, I'm 188 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:01,520 Speaker 1: sure that it wasn't just explored. Let's understand what's going on. 189 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:04,400 Speaker 1: I know that you've done some really smart work. In fact, 190 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:05,760 Speaker 1: we're going to link to your article that was in 191 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:07,920 Speaker 1: the Conversation, the one that you wrote with Stephen Roberts, 192 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:10,160 Speaker 1: who's a professor of education and social justice at MUNASH. 193 00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:14,880 Speaker 1: As you've thought through this challenge, what do we do? 194 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,559 Speaker 1: How do you see us moving past this? How do 195 00:10:17,679 --> 00:10:23,160 Speaker 1: we combat the rise of these radicalized masculine myths. I 196 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:24,240 Speaker 1: don't know what else to call them. 197 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:25,760 Speaker 2: They are myths. 198 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:29,400 Speaker 3: The first thing that I would suggest, there's been some 199 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:34,559 Speaker 3: research that's come out of Ireland that indicates that Andrew 200 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:39,640 Speaker 3: Tate and sort of similar figures online their content. The 201 00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:41,679 Speaker 3: algorithm shows their content to. 202 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:43,320 Speaker 2: Boys, whether they search for it or not. 203 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:46,480 Speaker 3: So the first thing for parents is that they need 204 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:52,120 Speaker 3: to be aware that algorithms are changing and influencing how 205 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:54,559 Speaker 3: their children see the world, are informing it at the 206 00:10:54,679 --> 00:10:56,199 Speaker 3: very least social media. 207 00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:58,959 Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. Anyway, yeah, okay, So parents need to 208 00:10:58,960 --> 00:10:59,400 Speaker 1: be aware of it. 209 00:10:59,400 --> 00:10:59,600 Speaker 3: First. 210 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,599 Speaker 1: What the catch is seeing in their feed is not 211 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:03,000 Speaker 1: what Mum and dad are seeing in their feed. 212 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:05,679 Speaker 3: No. I think it would be very interesting if parents 213 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:08,200 Speaker 3: would have a look at what is coming up in 214 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:13,800 Speaker 3: their children's algorithms on TikTok, especially on YouTube, and just 215 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:19,400 Speaker 3: see what these social media companies think a thirteen or 216 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:21,520 Speaker 3: fourteen year old boy is interested in and whether that 217 00:11:21,559 --> 00:11:25,319 Speaker 3: reflects the person that they know. And I'm going to 218 00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:29,840 Speaker 3: assume that it doesn't, because algorithms assume very limited and 219 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:33,640 Speaker 3: very narrow things about people in age and gender categories. 220 00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:36,360 Speaker 3: So the first thing is to be aware of that 221 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:39,440 Speaker 3: and monitor it as much as you can. I know 222 00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:43,640 Speaker 3: that's really tricky. I know that there's tension around parents 223 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:47,000 Speaker 3: and mobile phones, but we do need to take this 224 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:52,400 Speaker 3: really seriously. So I would suggest that our other recommendations 225 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:53,600 Speaker 3: are around conversation. 226 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:57,839 Speaker 2: So asking your kids, hey, do you know about this 227 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:00,200 Speaker 2: guy Andrew Tate? What are your thought thought? 228 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:03,360 Speaker 3: Well, tell me about what you're seeing online? Is there 229 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:05,840 Speaker 3: anything you've got questions about? Is there anything I can 230 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:10,040 Speaker 3: explain to you or help you understand without judgment, without 231 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:13,680 Speaker 3: reprimand with curiosity, and allow an. 232 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:15,840 Speaker 2: Open space for those conversations to happen. 233 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:19,880 Speaker 3: Because we really believe that boys who are seeing this 234 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:23,840 Speaker 3: sort of dangers stuff online really need this content to 235 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:28,520 Speaker 3: be encountered by adults and pushed back on and criticized 236 00:12:28,559 --> 00:12:29,000 Speaker 3: a little bit. 237 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:31,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, I fundamentally believe that parenting is a it's a 238 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:34,679 Speaker 1: moral endeavor. Right when you're raising kids, when you're socializing them, 239 00:12:34,679 --> 00:12:36,880 Speaker 1: what you're really doing is you're taking them the morality 240 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:40,040 Speaker 1: that's necessary to navigate the world in a healthy way. 241 00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:43,400 Speaker 1: And when I hear you say that about conversations, my 242 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:47,160 Speaker 1: mind immediately goes to the idea that silence is the 243 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,280 Speaker 1: equivalent of complicity. And that might be an overly harsh 244 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:51,680 Speaker 1: thing to say. It could come across a little bit 245 00:12:51,679 --> 00:12:54,920 Speaker 1: shaming or judge. But if we don't have the conversations, 246 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:58,040 Speaker 1: then our kids are not going to get the information 247 00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:00,280 Speaker 1: that they need from us. I'm glad you so that 248 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:01,920 Speaker 1: you said there was a third thing. 249 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:05,000 Speaker 2: The third thing is what we can do in schools. 250 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:09,840 Speaker 3: And so we've already got respect for relationships education and 251 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:13,040 Speaker 3: that's fantastic and is intended to respond to these sorts 252 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:16,200 Speaker 3: of issues really well. But we need that to be 253 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:20,760 Speaker 3: implemented more comprehensively in schools and in schools all around Australia. 254 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,080 Speaker 3: At the moment, it's only mandatory in Victoria and in 255 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:26,320 Speaker 3: government schools in Victoria. The other thing that we're really 256 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:28,560 Speaker 3: pushing for is for the government to acknowledge that we've 257 00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:32,079 Speaker 3: got an issue here with what's happening in schools, particularly 258 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:36,240 Speaker 3: around violence towards women and girls. So we want really 259 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:40,160 Speaker 3: firm language around that and a really firm acknowledgment that 260 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:42,520 Speaker 3: there's a zero tolerance approach to this sort of behavior 261 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:46,800 Speaker 3: in schools, and that protects both boys and girls. It 262 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:49,720 Speaker 3: allows boys to have better relationships with girls and women 263 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:52,520 Speaker 3: and to learn how to have really meaningful connections with them, 264 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:56,199 Speaker 3: and it protects girls from experiencing this kind of behavior 265 00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:58,839 Speaker 3: but also from expecting it from the men and boys 266 00:13:58,840 --> 00:13:59,880 Speaker 3: in their life. 267 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,200 Speaker 1: Autonomy is one of those things that I'm hearing more 268 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,760 Speaker 1: and more is from parents who were saying, I want 269 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,920 Speaker 1: my children to be able to make choices, but they 270 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:09,520 Speaker 1: also need guidelines. They need to know where the parameters are. 271 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:11,720 Speaker 1: You can make choices in this space, but you can't 272 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:14,120 Speaker 1: step out of it, and that's a perfect example of 273 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:17,880 Speaker 1: why that matters. Stephanie. Really appreciate your time, Thank you 274 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:21,040 Speaker 1: for joining me on the podcast. Good luck with your research, 275 00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:23,880 Speaker 1: and hopefully this moves the needle and makes a noise 276 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:25,440 Speaker 1: in the areas where it needs to most. 277 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:27,400 Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having. 278 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:30,880 Speaker 1: Me doctor Stephanie Westcott is a lecturer in the School 279 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:36,000 Speaker 1: of Education, Culture and Society at Monash University. We will 280 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,480 Speaker 1: link to her article on the Conversation so you can 281 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:41,400 Speaker 1: read more about her research in our show notes. The 282 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:44,560 Speaker 1: Happy Family's podcast is produced by Justin Roland from Bridge Media. 283 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:47,960 Speaker 1: Craig Bruce is our executive producer, and if you'd like 284 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,880 Speaker 1: more information about how you can make your family happy, 285 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,680 Speaker 1: we'd love for you to check out our resources at 286 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:54,000 Speaker 1: happyfamilies dot com, dot a yu 287 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:00,080 Speaker 3: Just