1 00:00:01,320 --> 00:00:05,240 Speaker 1: Hello, it's Lola Berry here. This episode is a little 2 00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:08,200 Speaker 1: treat or a little gift from me to you. I've 3 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:12,400 Speaker 1: fallen totally in love with podcasting and I wouldn't be 4 00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:15,720 Speaker 1: able to do it without your support with listening, with subscribing. 5 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:19,720 Speaker 1: It absolutely would not exist without you, so thank you. 6 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:25,560 Speaker 1: This gift is a mindful self compassion meditation. Last week 7 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:29,040 Speaker 1: we had a live podcast and my awesome mate jud Patrick, 8 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:34,040 Speaker 1: who's a natchpath nutritionist counselor and he's super passionate about 9 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:39,519 Speaker 1: mindful self compassion meditations. He ran one for us and 10 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:42,320 Speaker 1: for the audience. It only goes for about seven minutes, 11 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:45,280 Speaker 1: so just find a little spot you can sit down 12 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:49,200 Speaker 1: and relax and just use this seven minutes to reconnect 13 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:53,080 Speaker 1: with yourself. And the reason why I'm so excited to 14 00:00:53,159 --> 00:00:57,040 Speaker 1: share this meditation with you is that as of next Friday, 15 00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:00,320 Speaker 1: we are going to be launching a second series, so 16 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:03,080 Speaker 1: you'll still have you Fearlessly Failing podcasts come out on 17 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:07,040 Speaker 1: a Monday, but on Fridays, we'll be releasing a mindful 18 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:12,040 Speaker 1: meditation series with Jad. So basically, each week there'll be 19 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:14,800 Speaker 1: a different topic and we'll explore that together and then 20 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:18,960 Speaker 1: he'll run us through a little meditation that kind of 21 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:22,800 Speaker 1: marries with the topic we've spoken about. I cannot wait 22 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:26,840 Speaker 1: to record with him and explore he's got this. He's 23 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:29,399 Speaker 1: one of those people that's got that incredible brain and 24 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:33,840 Speaker 1: he's really into human behavior. So I'm pumped. I hope 25 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:36,560 Speaker 1: you are too, and I hope you enjoy this mindful 26 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:40,600 Speaker 1: self compassion meditation by my friend jad Patrick from the 27 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,119 Speaker 1: Live podcast and thank you for the love. 28 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:50,000 Speaker 2: So I thought i'd start today's little mindfulness exercise and 29 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:52,400 Speaker 2: talk about like the concept of compassion and maybe how 30 00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:57,800 Speaker 2: that relates to failing fearlessly. So a lot of people 31 00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:00,320 Speaker 2: sort of think of compassion as kind of a soft 32 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:03,080 Speaker 2: sort of emotion. And if we're you know, there's a 33 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:05,960 Speaker 2: fear around. If we're compassionate towards ourselves, we might kind 34 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,200 Speaker 2: of let our soulves get off the hook. We might 35 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:10,720 Speaker 2: be kind of too permissive, and you know, if I'm 36 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:12,960 Speaker 2: too compassionate or just let myself get away with anything, 37 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:17,679 Speaker 2: which is sort of a misinterpretation of compassion. So compassion 38 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:21,800 Speaker 2: is a motivational state we feel in response to suffering. 39 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:25,120 Speaker 2: So when we notice suffering or some sort of discomfort 40 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:27,079 Speaker 2: and we feel a motivation to help in some way 41 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:30,440 Speaker 2: or respond in some way, either by helping a person 42 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:34,120 Speaker 2: get out of that situation or maybe by validating the 43 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:39,800 Speaker 2: situation they're in. That's that's compassion right there. So you know, 44 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:42,200 Speaker 2: if we think about that kind of softer side of compassion, 45 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:46,200 Speaker 2: of nurturing, comforting, and soothing, there's also a really motivating 46 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:49,240 Speaker 2: aspect of compassion. If we think of like the recent 47 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:53,600 Speaker 2: bushfires and how people, you know, findmen and women would 48 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:56,839 Speaker 2: race into really really dangerous situations. That took a lot 49 00:02:56,880 --> 00:03:00,960 Speaker 2: of courage, and underneath that courage came from a place 50 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:04,160 Speaker 2: of compassion, of noticing that there's great suffering out there 51 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:07,760 Speaker 2: and we need to do something about it. So I thought, 52 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:12,560 Speaker 2: with this little exercise, we'll explore how we respond to 53 00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:15,320 Speaker 2: others suffering, and then we'll do a little exercise with 54 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:19,160 Speaker 2: how we respond to our own. So, firstly, with mindfulness 55 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:22,040 Speaker 2: of meditation, it's good to get comfortable, sit sort of 56 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:24,720 Speaker 2: upright but not uptight. So you want your fine kind 57 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:30,840 Speaker 2: of erec so you can breathe naturally, but you don't 58 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:33,919 Speaker 2: want to be stiff and uncomfortable feed on the floor, 59 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:36,360 Speaker 2: so you feel kind of secure and balanced and grounded, 60 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:40,040 Speaker 2: and I'll invite you to, if you like, gently close 61 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:43,480 Speaker 2: your eyes if you feel uncomfortable having your eyes closed, 62 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:46,080 Speaker 2: and just keep them half open. Maybe pick a spot 63 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:49,200 Speaker 2: on the floor to look down on, just somewhere newtube 64 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:54,920 Speaker 2: to gaze at, and maybe just on your next in browth, 65 00:03:55,080 --> 00:04:00,000 Speaker 2: gently rolling your shoulders back, breathing in, rolling the shold 66 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,320 Speaker 2: back and opening up the chest area, almost as if 67 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:05,680 Speaker 2: you're about to give someone your love a really big 68 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:09,280 Speaker 2: bear hug. And that opening of the chest area sends 69 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:12,120 Speaker 2: a message through our nervous system that we feel safe. 70 00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:19,080 Speaker 2: And then on the next in breath, we're going to 71 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:21,680 Speaker 2: scrunch up the muscles of the face. So breathing in, 72 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:26,159 Speaker 2: scrunching the muscles of the face at the top of 73 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:29,960 Speaker 2: the in breath, clenching the jaw, and on the outbreath releasing, 74 00:04:34,279 --> 00:04:36,840 Speaker 2: just feeling that sense of letting go in the face. 75 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:41,960 Speaker 2: Our facial muscles communicate our emotions all day long to people. 76 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:44,960 Speaker 2: We carry quite a bit of tension in there, so 77 00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:47,040 Speaker 2: it's good to just soften the muscles and the face. 78 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:53,400 Speaker 2: And then on the next breath in we're gonna tense 79 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:55,599 Speaker 2: the tummy muscles at the top of the inbreath, so 80 00:04:55,680 --> 00:05:00,960 Speaker 2: breathing in, breathing into the belly, tensing the tummy muscles, 81 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:05,680 Speaker 2: and then on the outbreath, really relaxing the tummy muscles, 82 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:09,320 Speaker 2: leading the abs kind of hang loose, letting the belly 83 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:12,640 Speaker 2: hang loose. We tend to kind of suck our tummies 84 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:15,440 Speaker 2: in during the day out of self consciousness or tension, 85 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:20,799 Speaker 2: So just letting the tummy muscles go and just breathing 86 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 2: naturally whatever feels right for you. And then I want 87 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,400 Speaker 2: you to think of a time in your life where 88 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:33,880 Speaker 2: someone who you loved or cared about was suffering in 89 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:39,479 Speaker 2: some way. Perhaps they'd failed at something, or perhaps they'd 90 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:43,479 Speaker 2: suffered some sort of misfortune or embarrassment, but at this 91 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,599 Speaker 2: stage in your life you were feeling pretty good, but 92 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:50,359 Speaker 2: they were struggling in some way. And thinking about how 93 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:53,400 Speaker 2: you felt towards that person that care you felt towards 94 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:56,479 Speaker 2: them when they were suffering or struggling. If you can 95 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:59,560 Speaker 2: bring a specific incident to mind, just do that. Otherwise, 96 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:02,560 Speaker 2: think of the general feeling you get when you care 97 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:08,359 Speaker 2: about someone who's really struggling. And I want you to 98 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:13,200 Speaker 2: think about the words you might use to comfort them, 99 00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:19,880 Speaker 2: to soothe them. Or perhaps to motivate or encourage them. 100 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:27,640 Speaker 2: What kind of words or language would you use? And 101 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,200 Speaker 2: then I want you to think about the tone of 102 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:33,080 Speaker 2: voice you might use. What's your tone of voice like 103 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:36,880 Speaker 2: when you're approaching someone who you care about, who's suffering 104 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:43,760 Speaker 2: in some way? And then have a think about your 105 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:49,160 Speaker 2: body language and relationship to this person and any physical gestures, 106 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:51,760 Speaker 2: maybe you put a hand on their shoulder, or you 107 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:55,240 Speaker 2: give them a hug. What do you do with your 108 00:06:55,240 --> 00:07:02,320 Speaker 2: body in those moments? Now letting go of the person 109 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:05,520 Speaker 2: you care about? In your mind, thinking back to a 110 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:12,040 Speaker 2: recent time where you suffered some kind of failing or misfortune, 111 00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:21,240 Speaker 2: where you experience some kind of heartache or embarrassment, and 112 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:25,320 Speaker 2: thinking about the kind of words you might say to 113 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:29,600 Speaker 2: yourself you're in a dialogue. What kind of language do 114 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:32,560 Speaker 2: you use towards yourself in those moments where you feel 115 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:38,280 Speaker 2: like he may have failed in some way? And also 116 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:42,240 Speaker 2: thinking about the tone of voice you might have internally, 117 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:51,440 Speaker 2: what's your tone of voice like? And again thinking of 118 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:55,640 Speaker 2: your own body language. Do you tense up in some way? 119 00:07:56,960 --> 00:08:02,680 Speaker 2: Do you offer yourself any physicalesh of kindness or soothing? 120 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,000 Speaker 2: The next part of this exercise, I want you to 121 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:13,080 Speaker 2: place your hand on your heart, if that feels comfortable. 122 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:16,520 Speaker 2: Just notice the warmth of your hand and the soothing, 123 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:20,840 Speaker 2: soft pressure of your hand, and just imagine someone who 124 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:23,920 Speaker 2: cares about you greatly, who loves you and wants what's 125 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,040 Speaker 2: best for you. What might they have said to you 126 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:32,920 Speaker 2: in that moment of suffering, What words would they use, 127 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:40,199 Speaker 2: what tone of voice, what physical gestures might they offer? 128 00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:47,720 Speaker 2: And just noticing that subtle warmth of your own hand, 129 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:50,960 Speaker 2: that gentle pressure. Seeing if you can try saying some 130 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:55,000 Speaker 2: of those words to yourself in your own mind, even 131 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:57,080 Speaker 2: if you just get a little bit of feeling of 132 00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:05,160 Speaker 2: kindness towards yourself, some difficulty might arise. Have some compassion 133 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:08,280 Speaker 2: for that as well. This can be hard to do 134 00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:11,480 Speaker 2: to recognize sometimes our own inner dialogue is a little 135 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:14,920 Speaker 2: bit harsh and critical compared to how we treat others. 136 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:20,120 Speaker 2: Remind yourself you're not alone. Seventy percent of people are 137 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:27,400 Speaker 2: kinder towards others than they are towards themselves. Letting go 138 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:33,520 Speaker 2: of your hand now, taking a deep breath in and 139 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:38,160 Speaker 2: releasing the meditation and the outbreath, and then gently opening 140 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:38,720 Speaker 2: your eyes