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Speaker 1: Get A I'm Lola Berry, nutritionist, author, actor, TV presenter,

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Speaker 1: and professional oversharer. This podcast is all about celebrating failure

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Speaker 1: because I believe it's a chance for us to learn,

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Speaker 1: grow and face our blind spots. Each week, I'll interview

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Speaker 1: a different guest about their highs as well as they're lows,

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Speaker 1: all in a bid to inspire us to furiously fail.

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Speaker 2: Get A right.

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Speaker 1: This guest, I'm not fibbing here at all, has been

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Speaker 1: on my dream guest list from day dot and I

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Speaker 1: think we've spent the better part of two years trying

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Speaker 1: to get Sam Frost on the pod. It's finally happened.

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Speaker 1: It only took about two hundred episodes. I think we're

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Speaker 1: about tip two hundred episodes after this episode, so can

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Speaker 1: you believe it? Basically, we met up in a hotel

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Speaker 1: in Sydney. We sat down and can I be honest,

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Speaker 1: we just pretty much laughed and giggled and Sam shared

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Speaker 1: similarly personal stories. This human knows how to laugh at

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Speaker 1: herself and definitely at her own expense, and it's a

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Speaker 1: quality that I love about Ossie's and Sam's got it

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Speaker 1: in spades. She's also got a brand new book out

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Speaker 1: called believe and I read it. I bingeread it in

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Speaker 1: two days.

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Speaker 2: You are going to love it.

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Speaker 1: I put the link in the show notes so it's

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Speaker 1: really easy to get your hands on.

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Speaker 2: But I hope you just love this chat.

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Speaker 1: It really felt like two friends just laughing.

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Speaker 2: Like when we stopped recording, I was like, can we

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Speaker 2: just be mates?

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Speaker 1: She's a legend, Sam Frost, Thank you so much for.

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Speaker 2: Jumping on the pod.

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Speaker 1: Sam Frost, Mate, how long have I been trying to

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Speaker 1: get on this podcast for.

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Speaker 3: Years, A very long time, and here we are.

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Speaker 2: Ye are doing it.

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Speaker 4: I know.

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Speaker 1: I have just finished reading your book, believe mate. It's unreal.

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Speaker 4: Oh, I feel every time I hear people say that

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Speaker 4: they've read it makes me feel.

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Speaker 3: It makes me feel anxious.

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Speaker 4: It's like it's like there's my entire soul just there

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Speaker 4: in a book, and that's me or my baggage.

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Speaker 1: It's like a baby right because it takes like I

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Speaker 1: always say that the gestation period of a book, like

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Speaker 1: you get the deal and then you spend months working

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Speaker 1: on a manuscript and then you see edits back and forth,

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Speaker 1: and then it becomes like a weird, trippy dream because

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Speaker 1: you can't separate yourself from it.

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Speaker 2: It's a mega process.

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Speaker 4: Absolutely, and I've read it so many times that I'm like,

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Speaker 4: does this even make sense?

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Speaker 3: And then my brain just spins out.

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Speaker 4: And quite often when I was editing it, I had

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Speaker 4: to take breaks because I was like, my head is

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Speaker 4: honestly going to spin off, and I don't think anything

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Speaker 4: makes sense.

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Speaker 3: So it's nice when I hear possibly beg back.

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Speaker 2: I honestly I loved it.

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Speaker 1: I love I mean, I've always been a fan of

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Speaker 1: yours and every time I see I'm like, he's I'm like,

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Speaker 1: he's the frosty legend. We've seen each and you've supported

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Speaker 1: me at book launches over the years, and I've seen

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Speaker 1: you around the traps. But yeah, I've been for so long.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you remember this, but right before

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Speaker 1: COVID you were doing I want to say, I believe

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Speaker 1: event with your sis Yes in Alexandria. Yeah, I was

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Speaker 1: going to fly up for it and then COVID hit,

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Speaker 1: and then COVID hit and we were.

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Speaker 2: Going to pod and everything.

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Speaker 3: I know, and we haven't.

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Speaker 4: We haven't been able to bring that back yet either

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Speaker 4: because it's still COVID.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, no, hopefully, So I did not know this about it.

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Speaker 1: For people listening everything I'm going to ask Sam today,

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Speaker 1: I have all my researchers come from the book, or

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Speaker 1: ninety nine point nine percent, and it has come from

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Speaker 1: the book. And then I just wanted to fact check

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Speaker 1: that I was going down the right path. So if

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Speaker 1: you find this chat interesting, do you have a favor?

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Speaker 1: Get the book. I'll put the links in the show notes.

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Speaker 1: All right, now onto you. You're a lily Dale girl, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm from lily Done.

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Speaker 3: Mate.

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Speaker 4: Where the chickens come from?

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Speaker 2: Mate?

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Speaker 4: I know.

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Speaker 1: I have no idea Melbourne kid.

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Speaker 2: It makes sense.

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Speaker 1: I always say to people Melbourne and kids are so different.

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Speaker 4: You can tell people from Melbourne from mile away. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: so many times?

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Speaker 3: Actually quite.

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Speaker 4: I was in an uber recently and he's like, you're

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Speaker 4: not from Sydney A And I'm like, is it the

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Speaker 4: Bogan accent?

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Speaker 3: The game?

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Speaker 2: I don't know. I actually love you. I really love

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Speaker 2: your accent.

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Speaker 4: It's very strong. And my brother's a truck driver, so

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Speaker 4: I want to go home. It just my language actually

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Speaker 4: is awful. But but I get more oka and I'm

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Speaker 4: just like, yeah, nah, what's going on?

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Speaker 1: Oh mate, I'm don't worry the same. If we're drinking

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Speaker 1: the same kool aid. Don't worry at all. Okay, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I have so much I want to ask you. I've

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Speaker 1: got highlighted notes here, I've got pages of notes.

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Speaker 2: I almost am like so excited that I just don't

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Speaker 2: know where to start.

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Speaker 1: But I do want to start to when you were

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Speaker 1: twenty five years old and you're like, oh, you can

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Speaker 1: swear on this podcast.

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Speaker 2: By the way, I was about.

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Speaker 3: Stressful. It is not I swear.

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Speaker 4: That's why I sucked at radio because I couldn't swear anyway.

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Speaker 4: Oh shit is of course, I know you'd be so filtered,

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Speaker 4: and anyone who knows me knows that I'm not very filtered.

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Speaker 2: I'll drop as many f bumps as you want, go

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Speaker 2: for gold.

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Speaker 1: So my question is, and I know this is where

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Speaker 1: a lot of people in Australia are kind of like

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Speaker 1: side fall in love with you. Is your experience on Batch,

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Speaker 1: Like you're only twenty five mates.

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Speaker 4: I was a baby, I know, I was so tiny.

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Speaker 4: I remember I think it was my twenty fifth birthday.

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Speaker 4: I found out that I was actually going on it,

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Speaker 4: and I was, I mean, I was so naive, little cutie.

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Speaker 4: And I just think about myself and I'm like, oh, Sam,

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Speaker 4: you have no idea what's coming for you?

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Speaker 2: Do you know?

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Speaker 1: There's so many fan clips on YouTube. I rewatched everything

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Speaker 1: really proposal mate, but like, what a doozy?

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Speaker 2: Can I just say.

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Speaker 3: I'm getting sweaty?

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Speaker 4: Oh?

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Speaker 1: I don't know?

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Speaker 4: Oh man, And it feels like it's a completely different.

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Speaker 2: Totally though, but like it was a long time ago

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Speaker 2: if you think about it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: The thing that got me though when you wrote about

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Speaker 1: this in the book, is.

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Speaker 2: A friend kind of disowned you.

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Speaker 1: And was like, excuse you know, Sars, we got wet

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Speaker 1: and you're like, what, You're one of my best mates.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and that was purely because you chose to go

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Speaker 2: on the show. Is that correct?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's right.

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Speaker 4: So this girlfriend of mine, we've been friends forever, her

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Speaker 4: family really helped me out when I needed.

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Speaker 3: We're best mates.

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Speaker 4: And then when I went and did the Bachelor, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: she decided that she she didn't want to be my

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Speaker 4: friend anymore. And it was probably I think friend breakups

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Speaker 4: are so hard, made so painful because you have like

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Speaker 4: you've got so many like decades and you know it

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Speaker 4: other so well. But yeah, she just decided that, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: she just didn't want anything to do with me. Because

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Speaker 4: she couldn't believe I decided to go on a TV

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Speaker 4: show and I was like, oh, I really need my

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Speaker 4: friends right now. But yeah, that was really difficult too.

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Speaker 2: I think you wrote in the book as well.

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Speaker 1: You wrote like you really tried to kind of like

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Speaker 1: not let that friendship in and she was like, I

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Speaker 1: think I'm done.

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Speaker 2: Yeah that was a text response.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, she was just done.

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Speaker 4: She's like, our lives going in different directions, and I

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Speaker 4: was like, I really need my friends right now.

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Speaker 3: I just want to.

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Speaker 4: Feel like myself again, like I've had the craziest experience,

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Speaker 4: and she said, nah, I can do my friend that's mentor.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it was really sad.

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Speaker 1: I think friendship, like you said, because friendship, it's like,

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Speaker 1: especially at that age, your friends have seen you.

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Speaker 2: Through your first love breakups and you I.

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Speaker 1: Think I heard you say in a pod that the

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Speaker 1: catalyst for going on the show was you went through

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Speaker 1: a really rough breakup and you're like, stuff this, I'm

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Speaker 1: going on it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah I did.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, And I was just.

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Speaker 4: Like and I remember thinking at the time when I

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Speaker 4: did The Bachelor, I remember saying and I think about

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Speaker 4: it now, like you're an idiot, But I remember thinking

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Speaker 4: at the time. Wow, like because I was from Ellidale,

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Speaker 4: so there's only so many swipes on Tinder.

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Speaker 3: You can do.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and even bumble wasn't probably around.

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Speaker 4: It was Tinder was very very new. And then yeah,

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Speaker 4: and I was like, mucked it, mucked about by this dude,

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Speaker 4: and I was.

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Speaker 2: Just like oh.

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Speaker 4: And then I just remember thinking, they're going to search

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Speaker 4: the entire country for the most perfect, beautiful man. He's

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Speaker 4: going to be amazing and I might get the chance

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Speaker 4: to date him. And I was like, wow, idiot, You're

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Speaker 4: not an idiot at all. And I just thought because

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Speaker 4: I always thought I've got a good personality. If I

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Speaker 4: can get in front of the right person, I'll win

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Speaker 4: them over.

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Speaker 3: And anyway, so that was this is the thing I

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Speaker 3: love about.

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Speaker 1: You do have a very good like you've got a

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Speaker 1: very cool personality. Like I watched this YouTube clip of

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Speaker 1: you last night and it was with you Whipper and

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Speaker 1: Fitzi and they were helping you sell the engagement rig

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Speaker 1: and you're the funniest thing. You're being interviewed on like

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Speaker 1: Yes Studio ten or something, and.

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Speaker 2: Like all the casters like.

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Speaker 1: Where behind you, Sam, you got stuffed over and You're like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I didn't you just done this epic photo shoot for

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Speaker 1: Maxim and like what made what was that revenge?

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Speaker 2: And you're like, yeah, I feel good. I was I

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Speaker 2: was gonna. I was like far right. This chick's got

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Speaker 2: no filter and I love it.

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Speaker 1: And I think that that is why Australia loves you,

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Speaker 1: because you're like what you see is what you get

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Speaker 1: kind of girl, Piers, I forgot to tell you. My

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Speaker 1: brain is like a pinball machine, So timeline wise, I'm

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Speaker 1: sure I'm gonna jump around.

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Speaker 3: It's so fun.

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Speaker 1: I have to ask you on the back of the

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Speaker 1: kind of like friendship breakup and you're like and then

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Speaker 1: the back of like, okay, I'm gonna I've had a

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Speaker 1: shit run with like dating.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to give this a red hot crack on

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Speaker 2: the show.

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Speaker 1: You're on an error a plane flight and you hear

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Speaker 1: you overhear this person.

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Speaker 2: I was reading this.

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Speaker 1: In your book and I was like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: this is like out of a movie.

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Speaker 2: Can you please share the story that I'm referring to.

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Speaker 4: So I was on a plane and it was just

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Speaker 4: after the Bachelor finale had aired and all the fallout

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Speaker 4: of that.

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Speaker 3: When you know you went for the third chick.

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Speaker 2: And they still I don't even know. I couldn't bring myself.

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Speaker 3: Nah, I mean I don't even know. I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I don't think. So good luck to him.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, And and I was on a flight and at

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Speaker 5: this and at the time, I just remember feeling like

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Speaker 5: everyone knows your business and it's so hard.

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Speaker 4: Even if people don't, you assume that they do. If

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Speaker 4: people are looking at you're like, yeah, you know, you're

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Speaker 4: judging me.

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Speaker 3: This was all in the news and it was even.

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Speaker 4: I remember the Bachelor finale outcome was on like different

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Speaker 4: networks as well, so like nine were playing seven were

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Speaker 4: playing it, and I'm like, how are they playing a

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Speaker 4: different is it?

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Speaker 2: Because he proposed?

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Speaker 1: And then before the finale you were in a like

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Speaker 1: ep me, like with a meeting with the producer. He's like, guys,

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Speaker 1: actually I'm done. And you were like, pad to me,

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Speaker 1: what my life?

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Speaker 4: It's so high?

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Speaker 3: Are you saying it?

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Speaker 4: I'm like, and because I forget about it? And then

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Speaker 4: you're saying it now, I'm like, shit, that was me.

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Speaker 2: But how fucking good? And you put it in your

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Speaker 2: book Matte, like it is such a good story.

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Speaker 4: Oh it is? And then so so what the aeroplane story.

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Speaker 4: And when I was sitting on the plane and I

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Speaker 4: was just feeling a bit like anyway, this lady in

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Speaker 4: front of me starts talking about the Bachelor, and I

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Speaker 4: was like.

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Speaker 3: Oh god.

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Speaker 4: So immediately my ears like prick.

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Speaker 3: Up, and I'm like, what is she saying? And she

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Speaker 3: starts going on and on and on.

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Speaker 4: She's like, oh, how embarrassing to be that girl she

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Speaker 4: was chosen? And then he didn't even over the second one.

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Speaker 2: It was the third.

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Speaker 3: How humiliating.

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Speaker 4: And she said yes, blah blah blah blah blah, and

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Speaker 4: was going on and on and on, and I was like,

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Speaker 4: oh my god, and I was like this is so uncomfortable.

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Speaker 4: And then the plane landed, and after she'd spent like

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Speaker 4: half an hour talking about how humiliating it would be

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Speaker 4: to be the person who won the Bachelor to get dumped,

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Speaker 4: she turned around and I just looked at her and

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Speaker 4: I was just like hey, and she she honestly looked

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Speaker 4: like she had seen a ghost. She was so stunned,

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Speaker 4: and she froze and just stared at me. And I

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Speaker 4: think she learned a very valuable lesson that you just

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Speaker 4: never know who's behind you.

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Speaker 3: On a plane.

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Speaker 2: I don't know how you were so chill, like, I

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Speaker 2: don't know.

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Speaker 1: I've heard a similar story of Ruby Rose, and I

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Speaker 1: think Ruby Rose might have confronted the person I've been like, oo,

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Speaker 1: what are you doing kind of thing, and whereas you

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Speaker 1: were just like I.

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Speaker 3: Was just so.

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Speaker 4: I can't even describe the headspace that I was in

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Speaker 4: at the time. I was so not present in my body.

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Speaker 4: I don't think I would have.

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Speaker 2: Felt like a nightmare slashed weird dream or something.

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Speaker 4: For like months, it was hard to even and even

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Speaker 4: now thinking about it, I'm like, it just seems so

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Speaker 4: disconnected to who I am, Like it seems like that

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Speaker 4: was a weird It felt like even the fallout of

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Speaker 4: it and what was actually happening in real life was

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Speaker 4: a TV show. I felt like I was in a

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Speaker 4: TV show and it's like.

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Speaker 2: A show or something like honestly, yeah, real.

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Speaker 4: I felt like I was in the Truman Show and

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Speaker 4: it was just yeah. I was so disconnected that nothing

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Speaker 4: surprised me anymore. Like at the time, media media articles

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Speaker 4: were just every space second, there's.

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Speaker 2: Media articles on you every two seconds.

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Speaker 1: I actually made a deal with myself when I was

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Speaker 1: preparing this podcast, I was like, no, like, don't because

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Speaker 1: sometimes it's it's so misleading, and I.

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Speaker 2: Was like, nah, read the I was like, read the book,

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Speaker 2: and then like.

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Speaker 1: If you feel like binging home and away, which I

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Speaker 1: did do last night. Also, there's so many fan videos

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Speaker 1: of Jasmine.

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Speaker 3: Can I say that the fans are very cute?

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Speaker 2: Mate?

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Speaker 1: It was so much fun to I can't wait to

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Speaker 1: get onto that because I just I was.

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Speaker 2: Like, I can't wait to hear this.

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Speaker 1: But I just made it more about you, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, I don't need to read a Daily Mail

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Speaker 1: story or well.

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Speaker 4: Well, the one thing I always say to people like

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Speaker 4: I've recently started hanging out with this dude and he's like, oh,

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Speaker 4: my grandma googled you. And I was like, oh god,

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Speaker 4: don't whatever you do, don't google me.

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Speaker 2: It's all lies.

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Speaker 3: It's not true that.

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Speaker 4: I don't think that's a true reflection of who I am.

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Speaker 1: So what I wanted to talk to you about next,

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Speaker 1: and it's something that you're so passionate about, I believe,

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Speaker 1: and I'm really passionate about. Is like, well, I'm really

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Speaker 1: passionate about therapy, but I like the way you refer

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Speaker 1: to it as like a mental fitness. Yeah, so can

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Speaker 1: you explain to me. First of all, when did you

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Speaker 1: start seeing a therapist or a psychologist.

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Speaker 4: I started seeing a psychologist when I was in my

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Speaker 4: early twenties, like twenty one twenty so good, yeah, early,

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Speaker 4: but I didn't I didn't like it, and I avoided it.

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Speaker 4: So I went there and I didn't feel like I

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Speaker 4: connected with the psychologists.

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Speaker 3: I was like, this is dumb.

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Speaker 2: They don't.

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Speaker 4: They just asked me a whole bunch of questions and

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Speaker 4: I'm like, this is this is so silly. And so

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Speaker 4: I would see them and then I never went back,

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Speaker 4: or I wouldn't go consistently. And it wasn't until I

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Speaker 4: was about twenty twenty seven I started going consistently, and

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Speaker 4: that's when I game completely changed my life.

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Speaker 1: Is it true they gave you one when you're on

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Speaker 1: Batch and then you had that same person on Bachelorette

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Speaker 1: and then you were like, oh, I want to keep

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Speaker 1: working with you, and they're like contractually.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, yeah, that's mental to me.

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Speaker 4: Absolutely, And because I thought seeing the same psychology that

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Speaker 4: I use for Bach and Bachelourette, like that would make

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Speaker 4: sense because they understand the experience I just went through.

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Speaker 4: And then they're like oh sorry, unfortunately the network so

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Speaker 4: we can't.

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Speaker 1: That's mental to me because it's so hard to build

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Speaker 1: that trust, that relationship.

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Speaker 4: Absolutely, And so then I think it was about a

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Speaker 4: year after that. Then I found my other psychologist, Sarah,

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Speaker 4: who I worked with for years, and she was amazing,

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Speaker 4: and she was like this beautiful mother hand.

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Speaker 3: She was amazing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I like that, you said, though it takes a

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Speaker 1: while to find.

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Speaker 2: I found. It took me be with my therapist now

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Speaker 2: for five years.

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Speaker 1: But before that I would get uncomfortable or i'd go

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Speaker 1: specifically for like an E disorder. Then it'd get really out.

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Speaker 1: It just wasn't the right fear. And then the second

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Speaker 1: I was like, it's like coming home. When you find

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Speaker 1: the right fit is a therapist like with your therapist,

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Speaker 1: don't you.

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Speaker 4: And that's why I always say to people, and I

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Speaker 4: always said my girlfriends, if you see a psychologist and

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Speaker 4: you're a bit jarred or you don't feel a connections

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Speaker 4: straight away, don't give up on therapy.

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Speaker 3: Just find a different therapist.

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Speaker 2: A game changer.

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Speaker 1: I've got So I've got a fee little quotes I've

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Speaker 1: written down as I go through.

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Speaker 2: Well, that's what's so call about the book. You've got

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Speaker 2: this little breakout for people, get it for people listening.

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Speaker 1: But you talk about growth and you're like, the trick

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Speaker 1: to growth is literally there are no shortcuts.

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Speaker 2: So like sit in the uncomfortableness, sit in the.

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Speaker 1: Pain, feel it, move through it, and you're really open

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Speaker 1: about like you have shit days, yeap, and you let

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Speaker 1: yourself kind of like be okay with like today is

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Speaker 1: going to be one of those days. Yeah, And I've

400
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Speaker 1: what I really like it because I love I love

401
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:39,040
Speaker 1: the it's not a value, but I love the quality

402
00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:41,920
Speaker 1: of resilience. I love it because I think you need

403
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Speaker 1: it to be in the entertainment industry.

404
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Speaker 4: Jesus, It's got to be in.

405
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Speaker 2: Your veins, mate, otherwise it's too much.

406
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Speaker 1: But I like how you say, like, some days I

407
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Speaker 1: feel really strong, but other days it's just like one

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Speaker 1: foot in front of the other.

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Speaker 4: Absolutely, And I think it's I think having bad days,

410
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Speaker 4: you know, I think it's unavoidable. But what happens when

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Speaker 4: you're growing and you're aware of your behavior or aware

412
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Speaker 4: of your moods, and you have that self awareness, you

413
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:15,080
Speaker 4: can just be you can manage it easy and instead

414
00:18:15,119 --> 00:18:19,360
Speaker 4: of it being instead of getting derailed, which I used

415
00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:22,040
Speaker 4: to if I had a bad day, I'd be like, oh,

416
00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:24,560
Speaker 4: I'm back at square one, yeah, blah blah blah, and

417
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:28,080
Speaker 4: your head starts spinning and then you just can very

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Speaker 4: easily start going backwards. And that's why I will say

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Speaker 4: to myself, I'm just having a bad day, and i

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Speaker 4: might have a bad day tomorrow, but I'm going to

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Speaker 4: be okay, and it's just a moment. And then other

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Speaker 4: days I'm feeling like it even happened this week.

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Speaker 3: For example, on.

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Speaker 4: I kind of I can't remember what bo the day

425
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Speaker 4: was like two days ago, I was feeling like fierce

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Speaker 4: and fab and then the next day I was just like, jeez,

427
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Speaker 4: I'm getting old.

428
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Speaker 3: Look at these wrinkles.

429
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Speaker 2: Oh like, mate, what do you think thirty three? May

430
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Speaker 2: I'm thirty six?

431
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:00,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, you look con beutiful?

432
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Speaker 4: Man? Do you know?

433
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Speaker 1: I was at acting school the other night and someone

434
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Speaker 1: said to me, I shit you not. I was like,

435
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:09,359
Speaker 1: I go go back to La next in two weeks,

436
00:19:09,359 --> 00:19:11,760
Speaker 1: and I was like, I'm so pumped and I'm so excited,

437
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:14,520
Speaker 1: and she goes, I've heard if you haven't already.

438
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,879
Speaker 2: Made it by thirty in LA, you just won't make it.

439
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:18,880
Speaker 2: And I was like, I was like, wow, I can't

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Speaker 2: afford to think like that. Thank you. I was like,

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00:19:22,359 --> 00:19:24,919
Speaker 2: thank you, but that's a death sentence for me, so bye.

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Speaker 1: Like it, but it's it's I get I get that

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Speaker 1: some days feel feelers and so again, pinball machine brain here.

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Speaker 2: But I love the way that.

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Speaker 1: You admit to being deeply insecure and you share like

446
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Speaker 1: your thoughts sometimes where you're like I'm not pretty enough,

447
00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:44,920
Speaker 1: i'm smart enough, I'm not this enough, and and I'm

448
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:47,080
Speaker 1: like I feel like I'm reading my own thoughts, like

449
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Speaker 1: I've felt that a million times over and yeah, now

450
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:53,800
Speaker 1: the old thing and I'm like, shit, I'm only thirty six,

451
00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:56,879
Speaker 1: but that some days that all creeping. Like I chopped

452
00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:59,600
Speaker 1: my hair the other day, my sweet fabulous by the way, mate,

453
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:04,080
Speaker 1: I just got rained on it went like but I

454
00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:06,879
Speaker 1: said to my dad, I was like, what do you reckon?

455
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:09,400
Speaker 1: He's like sweet, He's like, oh, suits, it's more mature

456
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:11,320
Speaker 1: for your age. And I was like, whoa, that's a

457
00:20:11,359 --> 00:20:16,520
Speaker 1: backhanded compliment, mate, but like it's also the generations. It's

458
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:20,439
Speaker 1: not like but my point is like, do you still

459
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:24,680
Speaker 1: feel insecure? Do you still have adding.

460
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:28,399
Speaker 4: Anyone who's not insecure? I'm like you're either a liar

461
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:39,440
Speaker 4: or associopaths and dating when dating, whoever is not insecure.

462
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:43,160
Speaker 4: I don't know. I'm so insecure it's ridiculous. And I try,

463
00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:48,639
Speaker 4: I try, and like I I feel insecure. Sometimes I'm like,

464
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:51,399
Speaker 4: the trick is not to be reactive, and then like,

465
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:56,800
Speaker 4: so I try to do it alone, be insecure alone,

466
00:20:56,920 --> 00:21:01,320
Speaker 4: and then not not let them know really, but yeah,

467
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:03,760
Speaker 4: I don't know, like because I have moments where I'll go,

468
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:06,800
Speaker 4: I'm just like, ah, they don't need to deal with

469
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:09,159
Speaker 4: this shit really.

470
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:12,640
Speaker 1: Because I am deeply insecure as well. But every now

471
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:17,200
Speaker 1: and then I'll feel really confident, not necessarily like physically even,

472
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:21,440
Speaker 1: but more like emotionally confident, where I'm like, fuck, yeah,

473
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:22,320
Speaker 1: I've got my own back.

474
00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:25,159
Speaker 2: I believe in my self as a human being and

475
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:26,000
Speaker 2: what I stand for.

476
00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:29,159
Speaker 1: But it feels like that is like you get that

477
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:30,960
Speaker 1: every now and then, but eighty percent of the time

478
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:33,199
Speaker 1: you're in the other mud and you're like trying to

479
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:34,120
Speaker 1: figure shit out.

480
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:34,800
Speaker 3: I know.

481
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:36,560
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's a thirties.

482
00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:37,040
Speaker 3: Thing, I don't know.

483
00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:39,720
Speaker 4: But see, sometimes sometimes i have moments where I'm like,

484
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:41,000
Speaker 4: I'm funny, I'm.

485
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:43,600
Speaker 2: Cool, I'm very funny, very funny.

486
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,600
Speaker 1: I gotta say that was the best bit about That

487
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,439
Speaker 1: was my favorite bit about researching you.

488
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:51,400
Speaker 2: I was like, fuck, she's really funny.

489
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:53,320
Speaker 3: Excusy, thank you so much.

490
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:53,840
Speaker 5: Yeah.

491
00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:58,119
Speaker 4: People can be like, oh, you're so beautiful. I'm like thanks,

492
00:21:58,119 --> 00:21:58,880
Speaker 4: But then if they say.

493
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:00,879
Speaker 2: I'm funny, I'm like, yeah, oh no, funny is the best,

494
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:01,400
Speaker 2: the best.

495
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:03,520
Speaker 1: Funny is the best. My boyfriend I fight over who's

496
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:05,600
Speaker 1: the funniest. So I'll be like, I'll be like, I'm

497
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:08,040
Speaker 1: clearly the funniest person you've ever dated, right, And he's

498
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:11,119
Speaker 1: like yeah, And I'm like, and I'm funnier than you

499
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:13,879
Speaker 1: and he's like, then I might mate.

500
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:14,639
Speaker 3: Sweet.

501
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:19,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, I want to talk to you about a

502
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:24,399
Speaker 1: bit about Bodo stuff, just because I can totally relate

503
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,360
Speaker 1: to it, and I know people listening can relate to it.

504
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:28,400
Speaker 2: So what the if happened?

505
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:32,040
Speaker 1: When you get a call going, hey, can you please

506
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:35,000
Speaker 1: do the all New Monty? That means you're going to

507
00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:38,720
Speaker 1: be doing this dance like you're gonna be on tally. Yeah,

508
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:40,400
Speaker 1: there's gonna be a live or there was a live

509
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:42,879
Speaker 1: audience in this too. You're gonna be dancing, but you're

510
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:46,280
Speaker 1: gonna at the end, whip your top off right and

511
00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:49,879
Speaker 1: all for a great cause like raising awareness, raising funds.

512
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,480
Speaker 4: For breast can Brest cancer awareness.

513
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:54,760
Speaker 2: Yeap, How the f though? Did you get the courage?

514
00:22:56,000 --> 00:23:00,840
Speaker 4: Yeah? Look and for someone who's very insecure and self conscious.

515
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,560
Speaker 4: I don't really know what I was thinking, but I

516
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:05,560
Speaker 4: think it was one of those things because I saw

517
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:08,360
Speaker 4: they asked me for the first one and I said no,

518
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:11,679
Speaker 4: And then I went to the I was in the

519
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:15,399
Speaker 4: audience because my colleagues were in it. Rachel Finch, Yeah, Beautifulinish,

520
00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:18,600
Speaker 4: she nailed it. Yeah, Lynn McGranger, beautiful, friends of mine.

521
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,359
Speaker 4: And I watched it and I thought, oh man, this

522
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:24,320
Speaker 4: is awesome. I was like squealing, like I was, you know,

523
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:28,639
Speaker 4: at the strippers, and I was just I was just

524
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 4: like wow, I was like this is amazing, and I

525
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:33,720
Speaker 4: got so caught up in the energy, and I thought

526
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:36,600
Speaker 4: the women were brilliant and they was so brave, and

527
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:39,479
Speaker 4: I just thought, man, that's so bad ass. And then

528
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:43,040
Speaker 4: when they asked me for the second series, I asked

529
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:46,760
Speaker 4: Finchy and Lynn what they thought, and they were just like, yeah,

530
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,639
Speaker 4: it was the best experience. So I just thought, you

531
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:51,720
Speaker 4: know what, my intuition was saying, do it. So I

532
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:54,320
Speaker 4: did it, and I'm so glad that I did.

533
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:56,880
Speaker 2: So did you go in on day one? Kind of going?

534
00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:59,320
Speaker 1: I think I'm pretty sure it was quite right, but like, oh,

535
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:01,320
Speaker 1: I feel really grow it's uncomfortable my body.

536
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:03,520
Speaker 2: And on the fine at the end, you're like, I

537
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 2: feel strong as back.

538
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:09,960
Speaker 4: Absolutely, I cried like I had a panic attack. I

539
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:13,240
Speaker 4: always had panic attacks. It's so embarrassing, but anyway, I.

540
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,399
Speaker 2: Had not being embarrassed by a panic attack.

541
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:17,320
Speaker 4: Oh it's a bit. I had one in the supermarket

542
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:18,480
Speaker 4: and that was not fun.

543
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:20,639
Speaker 2: And you stop breathe? Is it hard to breathe?

544
00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:22,480
Speaker 4: I couldn't breathe, and I was like on the floor

545
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:24,360
Speaker 4: because I could feel it coming. I'm like, oh no,

546
00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:27,800
Speaker 4: quickly get my chips in go but ships.

547
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:30,480
Speaker 1: I love that you have to grab I'm having a paint, Brad,

548
00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:31,680
Speaker 1: gotta get chippos.

549
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:34,960
Speaker 4: Oh matee honey, soy chicken, this is what I need

550
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:35,360
Speaker 4: right now.

551
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:37,320
Speaker 3: But I'm really struggling to breathe.

552
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:39,480
Speaker 2: Do you get the type chest? And everything?

553
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:41,560
Speaker 4: I could and I could feel I got the tight

554
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:43,720
Speaker 4: chest and I was like, I'm about to cry, and

555
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 4: and I had like my throat gets really constricted. Yeah,

556
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:50,040
Speaker 4: and I'm like, oh no, no, no, no, no, like

557
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:52,320
Speaker 4: just get it and go. But then like he came in,

558
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:53,919
Speaker 4: it came over me, and then I just was on

559
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:54,240
Speaker 4: the ground.

560
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:58,360
Speaker 3: I was like, I could not breathe. No one stopped diving.

561
00:24:58,359 --> 00:24:59,800
Speaker 2: I's gonna say people help you.

562
00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:00,680
Speaker 3: No, no one did.

563
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:02,480
Speaker 4: So I was just like, oh, and it's and so

564
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:05,719
Speaker 4: then I had to remember all the things. I was like, Okay, breathe,

565
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:06,760
Speaker 4: don't breathing.

566
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:09,080
Speaker 2: That's so hard in the moment.

567
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,720
Speaker 3: That's so hard in the moment. But anyway, so yeah,

568
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:12,359
Speaker 3: I had a part attack.

569
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:15,560
Speaker 1: My boyfriend gets full on panic attacks. And on our

570
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:18,000
Speaker 1: second or third date, I'm sitting opposite him with this

571
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:22,080
Speaker 1: beautiful restaurant and he stopped kind of like he couldn't breathe,

572
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:24,199
Speaker 1: and I was like, what do we need to do

573
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:24,560
Speaker 1: right now?

574
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:26,800
Speaker 2: But I've never seen anyone have a panic attack before.

575
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:28,879
Speaker 1: And he was like, just let me get out and

576
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:30,800
Speaker 1: I'm going to just I'll meet you with a car, like,

577
00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:32,520
Speaker 1: and he was calm, and I could tell he was

578
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:33,480
Speaker 1: like calming himself down.

579
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:34,320
Speaker 2: I was like, what do you want to do?

580
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:36,000
Speaker 1: Do you want to like sit in nature? Like when

581
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,120
Speaker 1: he's like just let me go home to my bed.

582
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:39,200
Speaker 1: That's all I need right now.

583
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:42,880
Speaker 2: And it took me a while to like understand it's really.

584
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:45,960
Speaker 4: Scary for people like who don't understand what's going on. Yeh,

585
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:47,840
Speaker 4: have never been around it before.

586
00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:51,560
Speaker 3: It can be really jarring and scared.

587
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:55,280
Speaker 4: I remember my ex Dave, he was he freaked out

588
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:56,760
Speaker 4: and he was like, do I call an ambulance?

589
00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 3: What do I do? What do I do?

590
00:25:57,640 --> 00:25:59,400
Speaker 4: And I was like, I just needed him to stop

591
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:02,119
Speaker 4: panicking because it was making it worse. And I was like,

592
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:05,080
Speaker 4: I just need to breathe and calm down. But you

593
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:06,240
Speaker 4: can't say that though, because I'm.

594
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,880
Speaker 2: Like, he's like I could have called an ambulance.

595
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:14,040
Speaker 3: Oh God bless him the angel.

596
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,639
Speaker 4: But yeah, but then afterwards then we had to have

597
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:19,320
Speaker 4: a conversation when this happens, I just need space, I

598
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:20,600
Speaker 4: need to and that's it.

599
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:23,480
Speaker 1: But yeah, thanks for sharing that though, because I think

600
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:26,480
Speaker 1: like more people than we realized get.

601
00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:28,120
Speaker 2: Panic attacks and have panic attacks.

602
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:30,680
Speaker 1: And I didn't understand until I was working through it

603
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:33,200
Speaker 1: with my therapist that he's like, a panic attack is

604
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 1: a fear worse than death. Lawler, Like, it is so

605
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:39,760
Speaker 1: full on for the person going through it and unless

606
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:41,720
Speaker 1: you get them, you don't understand it. And I was like,

607
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:45,119
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, I I intellectually understand now.

608
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:46,119
Speaker 2: And then lo and behold.

609
00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:47,600
Speaker 1: Like a year later, I had my first one, and

610
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:50,159
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, fuck mate, and I was on

611
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 1: stage giving a friggin speech.

612
00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:54,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I thought I was having a heart attack.

613
00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:56,160
Speaker 1: I literally thought I was having a hard I didn't

614
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:57,639
Speaker 1: know it was a panic attack, and til my therapist

615
00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:00,399
Speaker 1: worked me through it and was like, welcome, You've just

616
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:01,440
Speaker 1: had your Oh.

617
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 4: Sweetie, Yeah, that's actually that would be terrifying. I've never

618
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:07,000
Speaker 4: been in a situation like on stage.

619
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,480
Speaker 2: Well, I was like a cold an ambulance sometimes.

620
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 3: But do you know what triggered it?

621
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:12,760
Speaker 2: Yeah.

622
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,640
Speaker 1: I was in a situation where I was really being

623
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:19,399
Speaker 1: misused on stage and the other speaker was like speaking

624
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:20,719
Speaker 1: down to me on the stage and I was like,

625
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 1: oh fuck, I got to get out of here. I

626
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:24,439
Speaker 1: go to g out of this situation. And then I

627
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:28,440
Speaker 1: couldn't stand it. Yeah, and I was full on Yeah.

628
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:32,480
Speaker 1: But it's amazing when you've got a partner that understands

629
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:36,560
Speaker 1: what a panic attack is. They just walk you through

630
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:40,680
Speaker 1: it like someone understands it. And so I'm so wrapped

631
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:45,480
Speaker 1: that you shared what one feels like, because I yeah,

632
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:48,359
Speaker 1: very brave. I mean your whole book is freaking brave.

633
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:50,879
Speaker 1: But I mean you're a very very brave human. Oh

634
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:51,959
Speaker 1: my god, this is so much I want to talk

635
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:53,800
Speaker 1: to you about. Okay, can we touch on tall poppy

636
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:56,200
Speaker 1: syndrome because I feel like you've had a shit ton

637
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:59,200
Speaker 1: of it. Yeah, and I think it's only an aussy thing.

638
00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:01,600
Speaker 1: Like I live half in America and it doesn't happen

639
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 1: over there.

640
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:04,639
Speaker 4: So many people tell me this, so many people.

641
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:07,960
Speaker 1: There's an amazing interview with Oprah and she goes, don't

642
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,480
Speaker 1: you guys have like tall pippy syndrome?

643
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:13,560
Speaker 2: They've never heard of it, Like they don't know what

644
00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:13,959
Speaker 2: it is.

645
00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:17,160
Speaker 4: I have friends that have lived in LA and they're like, Sam,

646
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:20,000
Speaker 4: you need to go over there because this does not happen.

647
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,520
Speaker 2: You'll lie over there, mate. I hope you do go

648
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:25,600
Speaker 2: over there. I'll be your mate.

649
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:26,240
Speaker 3: So nice.

650
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:30,800
Speaker 2: I've got a friend, yes, acting class together.

651
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:33,719
Speaker 3: It's just so fun have panic attacks together.

652
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:37,840
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it's all right. I We'll just chill out

653
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:39,959
Speaker 2: at the top of Griffith Park or something and just

654
00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:41,600
Speaker 2: like meditate that shit out.

655
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:42,160
Speaker 3: Love it.

656
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, it's a thing. I don't care like

657
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:51,280
Speaker 4: I don't think people in Australia like to say that

658
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:54,000
Speaker 4: tall Poppy is a thing because then makes them accountable.

659
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:55,400
Speaker 3: But that's what happened.

660
00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 4: Like they love tearing people down and then they love

661
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:00,760
Speaker 4: a redemption story and they tear them back down, and

662
00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:02,680
Speaker 4: then they bring them up and then tear them down.

663
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:05,960
Speaker 2: And I think that, and can I say, you've copped

664
00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:06,720
Speaker 2: a shit town of that.

665
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:13,160
Speaker 4: Every single thing I've done, I've got slammed for slammed, and.

666
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:15,480
Speaker 2: I feel like someday dot though I don't feel like

667
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:16,000
Speaker 2: just like.

668
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:18,120
Speaker 4: I remember when I got my job on Home and Away.

669
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:21,360
Speaker 4: I hadn't even no one had even seen my acting yet.

670
00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 4: Sure I was green and very nervous, but I hadn't

671
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,960
Speaker 4: seen that yet, and they were already slamming me like

672
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:29,960
Speaker 4: I went through the audition process. I've done, you know,

673
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:35,560
Speaker 4: I'm doing the work. Like before I had even got

674
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:38,800
Speaker 4: a chance to show what I can do, they'd already

675
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:42,360
Speaker 4: written my name off. Yeah, and just they dragged me

676
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:46,320
Speaker 4: through the media and then and then yeah.

677
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:48,600
Speaker 3: And the same with radio was wow, like.

678
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:50,800
Speaker 1: That would have been freaking hard radio though that was

679
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:51,760
Speaker 1: Brecky wasn't it.

680
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:53,280
Speaker 2: That's a beast.

681
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,720
Speaker 4: I mean, I acudos to anyone who can do it.

682
00:29:56,760 --> 00:30:00,280
Speaker 4: That that was a good learning lesson. I learned so much.

683
00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:02,480
Speaker 4: Like I never want to do breakfast radio.

684
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:03,040
Speaker 3: I learned that.

685
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:08,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, but how good? Like what are like what's the saying?

686
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:08,680
Speaker 4: Like?

687
00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:10,720
Speaker 1: Not birth of fire, but you know you got to

688
00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:12,400
Speaker 1: walk through the fire kind of outside like you would

689
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:16,360
Speaker 1: have learned so many skills that I'm glad you brought

690
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 1: up Home and Away because I'm a little bit of

691
00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:20,120
Speaker 1: a home and Away goober.

692
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:21,800
Speaker 2: And it was so much.

693
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:23,400
Speaker 1: I was like as soon as you said yes the podcast,

694
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:24,400
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, yes, I get to

695
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:25,360
Speaker 1: go back and watch Home and Away.

696
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:26,440
Speaker 4: It is great.

697
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:28,560
Speaker 2: Can you taught me through? So you said you went

698
00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:29,720
Speaker 2: through the audition process.

699
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:32,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, I auditioned for a different character, Willow, who's played

700
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 4: by one of my beautiful girlfriend, Sarah Roberts, and I

701
00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:37,480
Speaker 4: didn't get it and I had to I had to

702
00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:40,200
Speaker 4: do a chemistry test with Jimmy Stewart, who I knew

703
00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:43,000
Speaker 4: through radio, and I was like, God, this is so

704
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:48,640
Speaker 4: embarrassing because like I just being vulnerable to someone I

705
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:51,480
Speaker 4: know and it was just a very icky.

706
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:54,360
Speaker 2: I felt comfortable. I think so comfortable.

707
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:55,680
Speaker 4: Auditions are uncomfortable.

708
00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:58,240
Speaker 2: It's awful. Castings are scary.

709
00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 1: Man, so scary scary, like a radio interview or a

710
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:02,920
Speaker 1: Italian interview.

711
00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:07,120
Speaker 4: I can do love TV, easy peasy, love radio, Oh yeah,

712
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:08,280
Speaker 4: with my eyes closed.

713
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:11,280
Speaker 3: But auditioning kill me.

714
00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:14,760
Speaker 2: It's a best, it's a beast best and like.

715
00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:16,760
Speaker 4: And especially if you know the people that are doing it,

716
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:19,200
Speaker 4: because you just you know, you're like, oh, don't judge me.

717
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:22,400
Speaker 4: I know I'm new, but yeah, I didn't get the role.

718
00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 4: And I remember when I got the phone call and

719
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:27,200
Speaker 4: they're like, look, you didn't get the role. And then

720
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:30,160
Speaker 4: I just started yabbering away because when I get nervous,

721
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:34,440
Speaker 4: I just start and I just like, all this stuff

722
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:36,680
Speaker 4: just falls out of my mouth and I'm not even thinking.

723
00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:39,440
Speaker 4: It doesn't even make sense. And I was just like, yeah, look,

724
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:41,480
Speaker 4: I know, like I'm probably you know, maybe I'm not

725
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:42,880
Speaker 4: cut out to be an actor, like as fine, I

726
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:48,480
Speaker 4: was probably terrible blah blah blah. Anyway, and then they're like, yeah,

727
00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:51,880
Speaker 4: but they've got another role they want want you to

728
00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:55,280
Speaker 4: audition for. And then it was Jasmine and I was

729
00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:57,320
Speaker 4: just like, oh, so all the things I said about

730
00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:01,440
Speaker 4: my acting, I'd take it back, so.

731
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:02,880
Speaker 2: Good, Jasmine Sassy.

732
00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:07,520
Speaker 1: My question for you is, because I know soaps traditionally

733
00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 1: get a very small amount of time to learn scripts,

734
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:14,560
Speaker 1: and you've got a pretty full on schedule. Yeah, how

735
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:16,600
Speaker 1: long would you usually get to learn a script and

736
00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:18,120
Speaker 1: then be filming that script?

737
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:20,479
Speaker 2: Oh?

738
00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:25,520
Speaker 4: Well, it COVID changed everything. It was madness. Usually would

739
00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:28,320
Speaker 4: have maybe two weeks. But still at the same time

740
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:31,840
Speaker 4: you're still doing everything for the next day and for

741
00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:35,400
Speaker 4: the week and so, and you've got about three or

742
00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:40,640
Speaker 4: four different blocks, which is weeks episodes, a week of

743
00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:45,000
Speaker 4: episodes and yeah, and so you're learning all that all

744
00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:46,720
Speaker 4: out of order because it's all shot out of order.

745
00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:51,240
Speaker 4: And then so some people learn it in chronological order

746
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:54,440
Speaker 4: and some learn it in scene order that they're s shooting.

747
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:56,400
Speaker 4: And so it just depends on it's like figuring it

748
00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:58,920
Speaker 4: all out, like which is your process and what works?

749
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:01,560
Speaker 4: I have to have the I can't do digital on

750
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:02,000
Speaker 4: the screen.

751
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:05,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, I check tile as well. I print every script.

752
00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:06,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, you have to.

753
00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:09,160
Speaker 1: And if you want to do script analysis or write

754
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:12,480
Speaker 1: like a I don't know your process, but like you want.

755
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:14,920
Speaker 2: To be able to like feel it a bit.

756
00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 4: Right, absolutely, and sometimes it's like even the safety of

757
00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:20,840
Speaker 4: having it in your pocket, like knowing that you can

758
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:24,320
Speaker 4: just reach it and look at it. But yeah, even

759
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:26,520
Speaker 4: like I don't know what it is with my brain,

760
00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:30,600
Speaker 4: but even if we're on set and we've cut a

761
00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:32,560
Speaker 4: line at the last minute, I have to get a

762
00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:34,880
Speaker 4: pen and draw the line out so my brain doesn't

763
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:35,239
Speaker 4: say it.

764
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:36,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really strange.

765
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:39,600
Speaker 1: That's cool though, that so you're a visual Yeah, you

766
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:40,760
Speaker 1: must be a visual learner.

767
00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:43,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it must be very cool.

768
00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:45,160
Speaker 1: You have to do you have to do some pretty

769
00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:48,480
Speaker 1: emotional friggin scenes. How do you get to those places

770
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:49,000
Speaker 1: where you got to.

771
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:50,320
Speaker 2: Cry and all that kind of thing?

772
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:50,840
Speaker 4: Well, it helps.

773
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:52,360
Speaker 3: I've had a lot of trauma in my life.

774
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:54,640
Speaker 2: So you're like method, you literally want.

775
00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:57,640
Speaker 4: A hectic method. There are some hectic method people when

776
00:33:57,640 --> 00:33:59,640
Speaker 4: you just go you can still talk to me even

777
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:00,840
Speaker 4: though actors are fighting.

778
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:04,120
Speaker 2: Do some people do that, like for get in de Zion.

779
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:07,040
Speaker 4: Some people do, which is you know, that's their method

780
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:10,239
Speaker 4: that total works for them. But it's hard for a

781
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:13,799
Speaker 4: soap and for something that you're shooting twelve hours a day,

782
00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:17,239
Speaker 4: it's hard. It's hard to have that to be around

783
00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:20,279
Speaker 4: that energy. You know, because if they're not talking to

784
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:23,120
Speaker 4: you for the entire day. I'm quite a relationship person,

785
00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:26,640
Speaker 4: so I have to usually have a connection with the person. Yeah,

786
00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:30,000
Speaker 4: because then you feel more comfortable and you're able to.

787
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:30,680
Speaker 2: Trust each other.

788
00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:34,839
Speaker 4: Trust each other. But yeah, all the emotional stuff, you know,

789
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:38,040
Speaker 4: you have to Well, for me, I had to draw

790
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:42,080
Speaker 4: on personal experience, which helps. Yeah, but then what's really

791
00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:46,839
Speaker 4: tricky is your body doesn't know you're acting. Yeah, so

792
00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:50,960
Speaker 4: your body and mind, yeah, they can't tell the difference.

793
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:55,160
Speaker 4: So my body when I was doing a grief storyline,

794
00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:58,400
Speaker 4: thought it was going through grief and so it was

795
00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:01,759
Speaker 4: really a amazing and I had to work through it

796
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:04,440
Speaker 4: with my psychologist. I went to a mental health retreat

797
00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:07,880
Speaker 4: and I was like, oh, yeah, I'm just really struggling

798
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:10,279
Speaker 4: my depression and blah blah blah. And then when I

799
00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:13,080
Speaker 4: told them that my character had just been through twelve

800
00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:16,560
Speaker 4: months of grief for them, they were like, oh, well

801
00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:18,680
Speaker 4: that's probably why you're feeling like this.

802
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:24,360
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, so they say. I love interviewing actors. It's like, selfishly,

803
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:26,000
Speaker 1: I just love it because like, where can I learn?

804
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:30,080
Speaker 1: But I enviewed an amazing actor called Zoe Tarracus, an

805
00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:33,720
Speaker 1: Aussie actor, and they were like, sometimes when I'd come home,

806
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:36,520
Speaker 1: I'd have to like have a shower wash off there,

807
00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:41,120
Speaker 1: like and really sometimes you bring your character home with

808
00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:45,960
Speaker 1: you absolutely, and they're on Wentworth and so they're pretty

809
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:51,480
Speaker 1: solid dark storylines, right, absolutely jail and you know, full

810
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:54,000
Speaker 1: and stuff. And I was like, shiver me timbers, like

811
00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:56,560
Speaker 1: that is hard and so like when as soon as

812
00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:59,759
Speaker 1: I saw your like heavier kind of scenes, I was like, man,

813
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:03,000
Speaker 1: that stuff freaks me out. Like I much prefer like

814
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:06,160
Speaker 1: comedy and white and sitcoms and stuff. So like to

815
00:36:06,239 --> 00:36:08,319
Speaker 1: kudos to you like being able to do that.

816
00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:12,600
Speaker 2: I know that you've that you've left home in away out.

817
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:13,880
Speaker 2: Do you still want to act?

818
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:14,319
Speaker 4: Oh?

819
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:15,200
Speaker 3: I love acting.

820
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:16,040
Speaker 2: It's so fun.

821
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:17,840
Speaker 1: I was so happy to hear that because I was like,

822
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:19,520
Speaker 1: I hope this speech is still gonna act.

823
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:23,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, I love it, but you know, it's hard because

824
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:25,040
Speaker 4: there are so many actors that are out there and

825
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:27,160
Speaker 4: there's you know, and everyone wants work.

826
00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:29,480
Speaker 3: So it's definitely on the radar.

827
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:31,560
Speaker 4: And I would love to keep doing it and auditioning

828
00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:33,759
Speaker 4: and hopefully land a job see how I go.

829
00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:36,279
Speaker 2: But oh, mate, keep doing it.

830
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:38,080
Speaker 3: It's right it's so fun.

831
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:40,800
Speaker 4: I would love to play a character that's completely different,

832
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:43,080
Speaker 4: Like I'd love to change my appearance and really just

833
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:44,719
Speaker 4: go into a role that.

834
00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:46,080
Speaker 2: Would be save that.

835
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:47,080
Speaker 4: La.

836
00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:49,040
Speaker 2: La is like the mecca for it all.

837
00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:51,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would really like to come. Hang, I got

838
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:53,600
Speaker 3: to let an American accent. That's the first that's the

839
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:54,640
Speaker 3: first thing I'm like to do. List.

840
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:57,319
Speaker 2: I've got a great dialect coach. Yeah, and you'll be

841
00:36:57,360 --> 00:37:00,000
Speaker 2: speaking an American accent. Okay, it'll be fine.

842
00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:03,920
Speaker 1: It's really easy, really easy, and they love Australians.

843
00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:05,240
Speaker 2: So don't ever lose your Aussie.

844
00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:07,359
Speaker 4: Oh okay, great, Well I don't think I could try.

845
00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:11,000
Speaker 1: No, say same, same say Okay. There's a chapter in

846
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:13,120
Speaker 1: the book. There's a like sub chapter in the book

847
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:16,400
Speaker 1: that I was obsessed with because it happened to me

848
00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:18,399
Speaker 1: last year, and until it happened to me, I had

849
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:19,680
Speaker 1: no fucking idea what it was.

850
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:23,959
Speaker 2: Gaslighting. Oh, talk to me, talk to.

851
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:27,040
Speaker 4: Me, gaslighting. Do you know what?

852
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 3: Do you know what's so interesting? A lot of people

853
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:29,759
Speaker 3: don't know what gaslighting is.

854
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:32,799
Speaker 1: I didn't until until I got gas lit and I

855
00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:34,400
Speaker 1: was call my boyfriend crying.

856
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 2: I was in LA and I was like, oh, my god,

857
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:38,239
Speaker 2: this person just said all this shit to me. It's

858
00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:42,439
Speaker 2: not true, and he goes, Lolla, you were just gas lit, yeah,

859
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:43,600
Speaker 2: and I it was.

860
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:46,600
Speaker 1: It's confronting if you don't realize at the time that

861
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:48,239
Speaker 1: you've been gas lip often.

862
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:51,759
Speaker 4: Exactly, you don't realize at all. So basically gaslighting is

863
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 4: when someone someone is like manipulating you to question your reality.

864
00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:06,279
Speaker 4: And an example of that is I dated a boyfriend who.

865
00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:08,600
Speaker 3: Gas lip the fuck out of me.

866
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:10,520
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's not the one that told you

867
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:12,480
Speaker 2: look like a slut when you went out. Yes, Oh

868
00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:12,759
Speaker 2: my god.

869
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:15,000
Speaker 1: When you wrote that in the book, I was like, oh,

870
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:16,480
Speaker 1: we've all dated someone like that.

871
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:16,880
Speaker 2: I know.

872
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:20,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, do you know what was really interesting?

873
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:23,520
Speaker 4: Actually I'm jumping I'm like no machine too. When I

874
00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:27,640
Speaker 4: was editing the Toxic Relationships.

875
00:38:27,040 --> 00:38:31,719
Speaker 3: Chapter, I was like, fuck, I had just started seeing something.

876
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:35,400
Speaker 4: I was seeing someone briefly so it wasn't serious or anything,

877
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:36,879
Speaker 4: and I was like, oh my god, he was doing

878
00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:41,160
Speaker 4: the same things. And I was like, you ding that, Sam,

879
00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:42,440
Speaker 4: And I was kind of.

880
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:46,640
Speaker 3: I was throwing because I was like.

881
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:48,040
Speaker 4: I thought it was better than that. How did I

882
00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:50,880
Speaker 4: not pick it up? And anyway, it was really interesting

883
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:55,960
Speaker 4: reading the chapter again because and talking about the early

884
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:58,960
Speaker 4: signs of the toxic relationship, because you're like, oh shit,

885
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:02,000
Speaker 4: that was happening. I like obviously dodged a bullet, which

886
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:02,400
Speaker 4: is great.

887
00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:04,080
Speaker 1: The pass code on the phone when he was like,

888
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:05,600
Speaker 1: can I just have a passcot in front?

889
00:39:05,640 --> 00:39:07,399
Speaker 3: I was like, oh yeah.

890
00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:10,399
Speaker 4: But me, I was like, I want't trusting relationship what

891
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:11,320
Speaker 4: I'm an idiot.

892
00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:13,360
Speaker 1: It's trusting if he gives you his and it's an

893
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:17,320
Speaker 1: even playing field. But he sounded dodgy.

894
00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:21,000
Speaker 2: Messaging other people and all no yak yakat.

895
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:23,759
Speaker 4: And just on that it's made. It's even made that

896
00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:26,919
Speaker 4: like I have to make such an effort. I get

897
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:31,600
Speaker 4: really triggered by Instagram, like guys on Instagram and the behavior. Yeah,

898
00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:33,719
Speaker 4: I get so triggered, and I need to stop doing

899
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:35,160
Speaker 4: it because I take it out and people who don't

900
00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:40,319
Speaker 4: deserve it or like I just like it just can

901
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:41,359
Speaker 4: mess with my head a lot.

902
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:43,160
Speaker 2: This is a beast. You've got to be in the mode.

903
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:45,239
Speaker 1: And it's hard for you as well because you've got

904
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:47,439
Speaker 1: mazillion bazillion people that.

905
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 2: Are watching every move and whatever you post.

906
00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 1: But okay, hang on a hand quickly on that guy though,

907
00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:58,839
Speaker 1: who the fuck tells someone have fun tonight? You look

908
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:01,960
Speaker 1: like a slut, and like, who that literally happened to you?

909
00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:05,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, And it would be It would be because and

910
00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:09,560
Speaker 4: anytime I would go out, he would there would be something.

911
00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:12,400
Speaker 4: He would say, something to ruin my nights, so I

912
00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:14,000
Speaker 4: would never have fun with my friends and I would

913
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:16,200
Speaker 4: end up going home crying and my girlfriends are like,

914
00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:19,919
Speaker 4: you're doing this all the time, Like how can you how.

915
00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:20,880
Speaker 3: Can you not see what's happening?

916
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:23,080
Speaker 2: He's a dingo mate, and goodbye?

917
00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:24,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was.

918
00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:27,040
Speaker 2: Great, lesson, great, brilliant to have that on you.

919
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:29,760
Speaker 1: Okay, and so now let's talk gas lighting, because I

920
00:40:29,800 --> 00:40:31,279
Speaker 1: am rap to talk about this.

921
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:36,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, so he so. A perfect example was I had

922
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:39,920
Speaker 4: spoken to him quite in depth about mental health struggles

923
00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:43,200
Speaker 4: that I had, like anxieties and securities, and I spoke

924
00:40:43,239 --> 00:40:45,560
Speaker 4: a lot about my mum and her mental health battles.

925
00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:50,279
Speaker 4: And he collects all this information in the guise of

926
00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:52,480
Speaker 4: I want to get to know you because I'm there.

927
00:40:52,600 --> 00:41:01,120
Speaker 4: Yeah bullshit anyway, and then anytime I would bring up

928
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:05,399
Speaker 4: something he would do, I'd be like, hey, you know what,

929
00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:10,480
Speaker 4: why you are messaging these girls on Instagram? And he

930
00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:12,840
Speaker 4: would be like, I think you're just being paranoid, and

931
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:15,239
Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, yeah, it's just like they've sent me

932
00:41:15,239 --> 00:41:19,960
Speaker 4: a screenshot of the messages you're sending and they're pretty inappropriate. Yeah,

933
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:22,799
Speaker 4: And he's like, oh, Sam, I just think you're being paranoid,

934
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:26,840
Speaker 4: Like it's because of your mom's mental health issues that

935
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:30,040
Speaker 4: you're more like her than you think, and blah blah blah,

936
00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:32,000
Speaker 4: and they think that you need to get help. And

937
00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:34,719
Speaker 4: so he made me think I was crazy, and I

938
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:38,960
Speaker 4: was like, fuck, maybe I am crazy, And instead of

939
00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:42,760
Speaker 4: him being accountable for his bullshit behavior, he would twist

940
00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:44,680
Speaker 4: it around on me and I would be like, I

941
00:41:44,719 --> 00:41:48,319
Speaker 4: am too paranoid. I am just insecure, and that's why

942
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:49,160
Speaker 4: I'm feeling like this.

943
00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:51,279
Speaker 3: No, he was being dodgy. Yeah, that's the truth.

944
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:52,960
Speaker 1: Wouldn't you be like, I'm too stressed to talk to

945
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:54,960
Speaker 1: you for the next couple of weeks. Yeah, I'll talk

946
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:57,360
Speaker 1: to it a month October twenty fourth or something messed

947
00:41:57,440 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 1: up like that.

948
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:00,359
Speaker 2: That's so controlling, I know.

949
00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:03,160
Speaker 3: And then I yeah, he would block me.

950
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:05,279
Speaker 2: Ah, that's gross.

951
00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:09,319
Speaker 4: Yeah, he would block me about anytime I would bring

952
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:12,320
Speaker 4: anything up. And so you're walking on eggshells. And anytime

953
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:14,839
Speaker 4: I would be like, hey, by the way, it really

954
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:17,040
Speaker 4: upset me when you spoke to me like that. Anytime

955
00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:18,920
Speaker 4: I tried to be like, by the way you behave

956
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:22,080
Speaker 4: is bullshit, he would just block me, and I never

957
00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:23,960
Speaker 4: knew when I was going to get unblocked, and so

958
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:28,880
Speaker 4: I'd spend weeks crying days, And then when he would

959
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:32,600
Speaker 4: unblock me, I would have such a sense of relief

960
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:35,240
Speaker 4: and I'm like, oh he's back that I would forgive

961
00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:37,000
Speaker 4: the behavior he.

962
00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:37,720
Speaker 2: Was fully playing.

963
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:40,040
Speaker 1: Well, he was fucking gaslighting you, so you had no

964
00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:41,040
Speaker 1: power whatsoever.

965
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:44,640
Speaker 2: Do you know where I learned this recently, where it

966
00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:46,160
Speaker 2: actually comes from? Then a blue word.

967
00:42:46,239 --> 00:42:49,280
Speaker 1: Oh, this is so interesting, you're gonna love it. Husband

968
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:51,840
Speaker 1: and wife. It's like from the fifties or something like. Literally,

969
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,960
Speaker 1: husband and wife. He wanted her to think she was crazy,

970
00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:57,400
Speaker 1: so he went it was back when there was gas lights.

971
00:42:57,480 --> 00:42:59,120
Speaker 2: Literally the lights were gasing.

972
00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:02,440
Speaker 1: So he'd turn the gas down so the light the

973
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:06,360
Speaker 1: flame would get smaller in the light, and she'd.

974
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:08,319
Speaker 2: Be like if you turn lights down. He's like, no, no, no,

975
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:10,080
Speaker 2: you're thinking in your head.

976
00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:12,239
Speaker 1: And then when she wasn't looking and turn the light

977
00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:16,040
Speaker 1: back up, and that's where the term to be gas

978
00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:18,239
Speaker 1: lit comes from. It was literally a husband that was

979
00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:20,560
Speaker 1: trying to make his wife think that she was crazy

980
00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:24,080
Speaker 1: by turning the light up and down, like the dimming

981
00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:27,080
Speaker 1: effect of the light, by turning the gas up and down.

982
00:43:27,160 --> 00:43:28,840
Speaker 2: So that's full on.

983
00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:34,919
Speaker 4: That's insane. That's insane. That's a perfect well and also

984
00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:36,799
Speaker 4: what I was going to say on gas lighting as well.

985
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:42,479
Speaker 4: It's also when you when you say, oh, you called

986
00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:47,320
Speaker 4: me a slut before I went out, and no, I didn't. Yeah,

987
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:49,960
Speaker 4: I didn't say that, Sam, and you're like, yes, you did.

988
00:43:50,239 --> 00:43:52,680
Speaker 4: You said I looked like a slut. And then he'd

989
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:54,680
Speaker 4: be like, no, wait, why would I say that to you?

990
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:59,800
Speaker 4: And you're going what And because this is a daily

991
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:03,440
Speaker 4: parents so then you're going, fuck, maybe I'm completely insane.

992
00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:07,919
Speaker 1: That's going into the realms of like sociopath and psychopath,

993
00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:10,360
Speaker 1: of the no empathy and the willingness to lie.

994
00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:15,600
Speaker 4: And deliberately causing harm and enjoying the like once I

995
00:44:15,719 --> 00:44:20,160
Speaker 4: crumbled and I was weak and fragile and crying hysterically.

996
00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:21,759
Speaker 3: He was like, now I've got my power back.

997
00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:28,799
Speaker 2: Yeah. It was yeah, that's gross, Yeah, far out. May see,

998
00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:30,080
Speaker 2: there was so much I want to talk.

999
00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:34,680
Speaker 1: Okay, So your book's amazed, You're amazing, and you've shared

1000
00:44:34,719 --> 00:44:37,680
Speaker 1: so much of your mental health journey and your sister

1001
00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:41,440
Speaker 1: I love seens tips and oh and.

1002
00:44:41,400 --> 00:44:42,240
Speaker 2: The body chapter.

1003
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:45,839
Speaker 1: But what if we could look into a crystal ball

1004
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:49,279
Speaker 1: right now and you've got all these amazing skills behind you,

1005
00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:53,560
Speaker 1: you've had a really like colorful life already and you're

1006
00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:57,240
Speaker 1: still so young, Like, what like if we look into

1007
00:44:57,280 --> 00:45:00,440
Speaker 1: a crystal ball five years from now, if nothing else mattered,

1008
00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:04,600
Speaker 1: like forget the anxiety, forget anything that, like fucking daily now,

1009
00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:08,680
Speaker 1: like any stories, forget all that, Like what is Sam

1010
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:09,640
Speaker 1: Frost doing?

1011
00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:14,840
Speaker 4: Oh man, probably laughing, You'll be laughing no matter what.

1012
00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:15,520
Speaker 2: I don't know.

1013
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:17,400
Speaker 4: I have no idea, And I think that's what I've

1014
00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:21,160
Speaker 4: always liked about my life. I've always liked not knowing

1015
00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:21,840
Speaker 4: what's next.

1016
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:23,160
Speaker 3: It's exciting.

1017
00:45:23,360 --> 00:45:25,839
Speaker 4: And so many people have asked me now obviously because

1018
00:45:25,840 --> 00:45:28,160
Speaker 4: I've left home and away and they're like, what are

1019
00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:30,399
Speaker 4: you doing now? Like what's what's gimme?

1020
00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:30,640
Speaker 2: Gimme?

1021
00:45:30,719 --> 00:45:32,480
Speaker 3: And I'm like I don't know, and they're like, what

1022
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:32,879
Speaker 3: do you mean?

1023
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:34,960
Speaker 4: And I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing next,

1024
00:45:35,320 --> 00:45:37,279
Speaker 4: and I'm just like figuring it out as I go.

1025
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:41,480
Speaker 4: And I like it because, even going back to when

1026
00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:43,600
Speaker 4: they first did The Bachelor, I could never, in my

1027
00:45:43,680 --> 00:45:46,880
Speaker 4: wildest dreams have imagined my life going the way that

1028
00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:47,279
Speaker 4: it has.

1029
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:50,400
Speaker 3: And so now I just think, well, it's kind of

1030
00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:53,800
Speaker 3: fun not knowing how what's your star sign aries?

1031
00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:57,440
Speaker 2: Oh? Cool? Yeah that's fire, is it not?

1032
00:45:57,480 --> 00:46:00,040
Speaker 3: Oh yeah it's fire? Oh fire, crack it.

1033
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:03,440
Speaker 2: That's why you suited Jasmine so much? The SaaS right,

1034
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:06,600
Speaker 2: love it? Okay, So that's cool. So you're school, We've

1035
00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:08,879
Speaker 2: got so I'm a urgo. So I'm a planner. Yeah,

1036
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:11,200
Speaker 2: I want the five year plan. I want to know

1037
00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:13,040
Speaker 2: how many dogs I'm going to have, Like I need

1038
00:46:13,080 --> 00:46:15,040
Speaker 2: to know you're obsessed with animals as well.

1039
00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:20,600
Speaker 1: I love animals, so I've grown up like an animalreak.

1040
00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:25,120
Speaker 1: Yeah okay, love Okay. I love that You're just like,

1041
00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:26,879
Speaker 1: I'm going with the flow. I'm doing it a bit

1042
00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:27,400
Speaker 1: of everything.

1043
00:46:27,719 --> 00:46:29,279
Speaker 2: The final thing I want to ask about, and you've

1044
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:30,839
Speaker 2: kind of touched on this already, and I know you've

1045
00:46:30,840 --> 00:46:33,839
Speaker 2: been asked it before, like, how the if do you

1046
00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:37,640
Speaker 2: handle backlash? Because you get it more than I reckon

1047
00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:38,800
Speaker 2: anyone else. I've interviewed.

1048
00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:42,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, how do I have good peeps around you?

1049
00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:48,880
Speaker 4: Like I cry a lot and have panic attacks in supermarkets?

1050
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:49,919
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't.

1051
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:54,040
Speaker 4: I don't handle it very well. I just shut down im.

1052
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:58,759
Speaker 4: I shut myself off to that world. I delete my

1053
00:46:58,800 --> 00:46:59,440
Speaker 4: social media.

1054
00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:02,040
Speaker 1: And you just take a break, don't I just take

1055
00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:02,600
Speaker 1: a break.

1056
00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:04,600
Speaker 2: Do you get Do you go away when you're.

1057
00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:08,280
Speaker 4: Usually I'll go like I often go on little solo

1058
00:47:08,360 --> 00:47:11,520
Speaker 4: adventures by myself, and I'll just disappear. I'll go to

1059
00:47:11,560 --> 00:47:15,800
Speaker 4: an airbnb really, yeah, go to an eco cabin anywhere.

1060
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:18,560
Speaker 4: I'll just I can get really flighty when I'm when

1061
00:47:18,560 --> 00:47:21,240
Speaker 4: I'm copying it, and so I'll just pack my dogs

1062
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:23,840
Speaker 4: and me and we'll go somewhere. And I love that

1063
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:27,680
Speaker 4: reach my phone off and I stay away from technology

1064
00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:31,080
Speaker 4: and just yet reset, I read a journal. I go

1065
00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:34,480
Speaker 4: home and see my family. My family are my anchor

1066
00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:35,080
Speaker 4: for sure.

1067
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:36,800
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1068
00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:38,520
Speaker 2: I love the way you talk about your family.

1069
00:47:38,760 --> 00:47:39,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're the vest.

1070
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:44,399
Speaker 4: And I just think any like, I feel indestructible when

1071
00:47:44,400 --> 00:47:46,920
Speaker 4: I'm with my family because I just think, no matter

1072
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:50,399
Speaker 4: what happens, I'm gonna be okay because I have them.

1073
00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:58,240
Speaker 4: And it's like the most, it's the most amazing feeling

1074
00:47:58,360 --> 00:48:02,480
Speaker 4: knowing that I've got these they're a bunch of absolute freaks.

1075
00:48:03,719 --> 00:48:06,560
Speaker 2: But aren't your self described WEIRDO?

1076
00:48:06,719 --> 00:48:08,760
Speaker 3: I feel like I'm so fucking weird.

1077
00:48:10,760 --> 00:48:13,480
Speaker 2: Do you think your family and you are also tight

1078
00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:13,839
Speaker 2: as well?

1079
00:48:13,880 --> 00:48:16,239
Speaker 1: Because you've lost so many many but you've lost two

1080
00:48:16,360 --> 00:48:19,279
Speaker 1: really amazing people that.

1081
00:48:19,320 --> 00:48:22,600
Speaker 2: You're so close to, step Dad and.

1082
00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:27,120
Speaker 4: That, and it's just it's I think that the hardship

1083
00:48:27,239 --> 00:48:30,000
Speaker 4: we faced in our childhood, we had quite and I

1084
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:33,160
Speaker 4: don't talk about my childhood in the book because it's

1085
00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:35,960
Speaker 4: not it's not something I'm ready to talk about. But

1086
00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:41,759
Speaker 4: our childhood had our challenges, and I think that that's

1087
00:48:41,840 --> 00:48:46,359
Speaker 4: what's made us who we are, and it makes us

1088
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:50,040
Speaker 4: feel It makes us resilient, and it makes us appreciate

1089
00:48:50,080 --> 00:48:53,520
Speaker 4: small things, and it makes us grounded, and we find

1090
00:48:53,520 --> 00:48:57,040
Speaker 4: it easier to connect to people. And we're so tight

1091
00:48:57,160 --> 00:48:59,879
Speaker 4: because of those things. And so I always tell people

1092
00:48:59,920 --> 00:49:02,040
Speaker 4: that it's a blessing to face hardship, and I truly

1093
00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:04,800
Speaker 4: believe it. And we came from no money. We're so poor,

1094
00:49:04,840 --> 00:49:08,240
Speaker 4: and you know, but I like that and I'm proud

1095
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:10,040
Speaker 4: of that, and I'm proud of where I've come from.

1096
00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:12,080
Speaker 4: That's why I say I'm familiar to with pride and

1097
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:15,680
Speaker 4: I'm from a Bogan, poor family with pride, because that's

1098
00:49:15,920 --> 00:49:17,480
Speaker 4: the reason why I am the way that I am,

1099
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:18,480
Speaker 4: and I wouldn't change a thing.

1100
00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:20,879
Speaker 2: Can I thank you for one other thing?

1101
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:23,040
Speaker 1: You wrote aout in the book that I was so

1102
00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:25,400
Speaker 1: scared of writing about my own book, but grief, Like

1103
00:49:25,920 --> 00:49:29,480
Speaker 1: it's so such a hard topic and we don't talk

1104
00:49:29,520 --> 00:49:32,879
Speaker 1: about it much. And kudos to you for like being

1105
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:39,400
Speaker 1: really open about losing people that are so intem Like

1106
00:49:39,840 --> 00:49:42,360
Speaker 1: you're okay, you're a girl, right, but you're a boys

1107
00:49:42,440 --> 00:49:44,600
Speaker 1: girl too. I feel like chatting to you like you're

1108
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:47,760
Speaker 1: no bullshit, You're kind of like I could see you

1109
00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:50,400
Speaker 1: like just hanging out with the lads and having a

1110
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:50,839
Speaker 1: fun time.

1111
00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:53,640
Speaker 4: H Yeah, absolutely, well, I grew up with four brothers.

1112
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:55,200
Speaker 4: All my mates are all dudes.

1113
00:49:55,360 --> 00:49:57,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is I always think girls are

1114
00:49:57,920 --> 00:49:58,640
Speaker 2: a bit drama.

1115
00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:02,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, you got you gotta find good girlfriends, but you

1116
00:50:02,520 --> 00:50:05,239
Speaker 4: find them later on in life. Oh my best girlfriends

1117
00:50:05,239 --> 00:50:07,400
Speaker 4: of friends that I've found in my late twenties.

1118
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:09,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, I fully agree as an adult, when you've sort

1119
00:50:09,920 --> 00:50:11,000
Speaker 1: of your shit out right, I.

1120
00:50:10,960 --> 00:50:12,960
Speaker 4: The no bullshit people too, So I love it.

1121
00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:16,120
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Well I met you through

1122
00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:19,640
Speaker 1: one of my most favorite no bullshit people, Jane.

1123
00:50:19,719 --> 00:50:20,319
Speaker 4: I love it.

1124
00:50:20,520 --> 00:50:22,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, and she's the best.

1125
00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:24,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's that same like what you see is what

1126
00:50:24,640 --> 00:50:26,520
Speaker 1: you get, and this is what I love about you,

1127
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:28,680
Speaker 1: And this is the whole reason why I've wanted you

1128
00:50:28,719 --> 00:50:31,879
Speaker 1: on this podcast from Daydart you do wet your heart

1129
00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:35,680
Speaker 1: on your sleeve proudly, but you are what you see

1130
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:39,600
Speaker 1: is what you get kind of girl. Sam Frost is

1131
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:41,839
Speaker 1: a total honor to have you on this podcast.

1132
00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:44,960
Speaker 3: Thank you. Yeah, it's been fun. I love it.

1133
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:49,759
Speaker 4: We should do it again sometimes version should talk about.

1134
00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:55,320
Speaker 1: I know and mate, I'm always going to be your cheerleader,

1135
00:50:55,480 --> 00:50:59,600
Speaker 1: always be in your corner. So keep chasing that. As

1136
00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:03,080
Speaker 1: my meditation teacher would say, like chase the charm. Whatever

1137
00:51:03,200 --> 00:51:05,719
Speaker 1: makes your heart happy, keep doing that because it's led

1138
00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:08,479
Speaker 1: you this far and it's not gonna let you down.

1139
00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:09,919
Speaker 3: Oh that's a beautiful thing.

1140
00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:12,840
Speaker 2: Big love my friend having.

1141
00:51:14,760 --> 00:51:19,040
Speaker 1: That's a wrap on another episode of Fearlessly Failing.

1142
00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:21,160
Speaker 2: As always, thank you to.

1143
00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:24,920
Speaker 1: Our guests, and let's continue the conversation on Instagram.

1144
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:30,640
Speaker 2: I'm at Yamo Lollerberry. This potty my word for podcast

1145
00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:35,000
Speaker 2: is available on all streaming platforms. I'd love it if

1146
00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:35,359
Speaker 2: you could

1147
00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:39,359
Speaker 1: Subscribe, rape and comment, and of course spread the love.