1 00:00:04,519 --> 00:00:07,040 Speaker 1: Welcome to How I Work, a show about the tactics 2 00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:09,399 Speaker 1: used by leading innovators to get so much out of 3 00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:12,399 Speaker 1: their day. I'm your host, doctor Amantha Imba. I'm an 4 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:16,479 Speaker 1: organization or psychologist, the founder of innovation consultancy Inventium, and 5 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:19,680 Speaker 1: I'm obsessed with finding ways to optimize my work date. 6 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:24,880 Speaker 1: So a few weeks ago, I found myself in a 7 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:30,160 Speaker 1: video conference with about twenty other meeting attendees. It was 8 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:33,520 Speaker 1: run by the organizers of a fast growth tech company's 9 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:37,120 Speaker 1: global summit. Everyone in the meeting had been selected to 10 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:39,519 Speaker 1: present at the summit, and the call's purpose was to 11 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:43,000 Speaker 1: learn about presentation strategies. Now, at this point, I need 12 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:45,879 Speaker 1: to confess something. The organizers has actually told me that 13 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:48,680 Speaker 1: I didn't need to attend this meeting as it was 14 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:50,520 Speaker 1: only for first time speakers. 15 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:52,720 Speaker 2: But despite this, something. 16 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:54,800 Speaker 1: Compelled me to hop on the call for fear that 17 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,880 Speaker 1: I might miss some gem of wisdom. 18 00:00:58,280 --> 00:00:59,720 Speaker 2: So the meeting was a two. 19 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:02,760 Speaker 1: Hour and at the twenty minute mike, I decided to 20 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:07,720 Speaker 1: surreptitiously drop off the call. I'd realized, even as an 21 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:11,160 Speaker 1: organizational psychologist who is well versed in fomo or the 22 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:14,559 Speaker 1: fear of missing out I had given into its siren song, 23 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,760 Speaker 1: and I needed to reclaim the rest of the hour 24 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:20,240 Speaker 1: and forty minutes I was about to lose. 25 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:23,800 Speaker 2: Now, fomo is rife. In most offices. 26 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:26,440 Speaker 1: We expect to be c seed on every email that 27 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:29,319 Speaker 1: might possibly relate to one of our projects or our team. 28 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:33,679 Speaker 1: We accept meeting invitations that we don't really need to attend, 29 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:37,560 Speaker 1: and we unhappily glance at the huge number of likes 30 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:42,600 Speaker 1: everyone else's LinkedIn posts seemed to attract. But by missing 31 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:46,120 Speaker 1: out on a call, email or meeting, we worry that 32 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:49,960 Speaker 1: we won't gain that critical piece of information needed to 33 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:53,600 Speaker 1: make our project a success. We worry that we'll miss 34 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 1: that moment to shine in our boss's eyes, and by 35 00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,840 Speaker 1: giving in to fomo, we waste not just huge amounts 36 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:03,120 Speaker 1: of emotional energy, but time. 37 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:04,280 Speaker 2: Now. 38 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:07,920 Speaker 1: According to social comparison theory, we are hard wired to 39 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:11,360 Speaker 1: compare ourselves to others, but when it comes to fomo, 40 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:15,320 Speaker 1: the specific type of comparison we make is an upward comparison, 41 00:02:15,639 --> 00:02:18,720 Speaker 1: where our target is someone who is seemingly doing much 42 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:22,600 Speaker 1: better than us, and by contrast, our career is always 43 00:02:22,639 --> 00:02:26,640 Speaker 1: going to be doomed to die. Fomo leads to all 44 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:30,079 Speaker 1: sorts of problems. It leads to living your life by 45 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:33,400 Speaker 1: someone else's standards. I mean, does it really matter that 46 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:36,280 Speaker 1: your colleague received over three hundred likes on their blog 47 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:40,079 Speaker 1: post in the scheme of things not at all. Fomo 48 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:44,240 Speaker 1: also increases our anxiety level. Research from the University of 49 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:48,760 Speaker 1: Toledo found a strong relationship between fomo, anxiety, and depression 50 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:53,240 Speaker 1: in those who use their smartphone excessively. An Assistant Professor 51 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:57,320 Speaker 1: Darlene McLachlin from the Texas A and M Health Science 52 00:02:57,400 --> 00:03:03,000 Speaker 1: Center College of Medicine states that instills anxiety and depression 53 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:05,480 Speaker 1: and can lead to a mental health diagnosis. 54 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,000 Speaker 2: And if that's not enough, fomo. 55 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:11,840 Speaker 1: Also decreases our self esteem. So research led by Professor 56 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:16,240 Speaker 1: Andrew K. PRIs Bilski I don't know if I pronounced 57 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:19,239 Speaker 1: that right, sorry, Andrew at the University of Essex found 58 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:22,480 Speaker 1: that FOMO was associated with lower mood and life satisfaction, 59 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:25,760 Speaker 1: and in research conducting in time spent onto Facebook, though 60 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:28,760 Speaker 1: spending more time on Facebook each week led to people 61 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:32,000 Speaker 1: agreeing that others were happier and had better lives than 62 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:36,000 Speaker 1: themselves because we are constantly making upward comparisons to those 63 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:38,560 Speaker 1: who seem to have their lives and careers altogether, we 64 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:42,119 Speaker 1: can't help but look bad in comparison. I remember last 65 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:45,880 Speaker 1: year I interviewed WordPress and Automatic co founder Matt Mullenweg 66 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:49,360 Speaker 1: on this very podcast about his working habits, and he 67 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:53,200 Speaker 1: commented that on some days he feels really unproductive, and 68 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:56,440 Speaker 1: I personally couldn't help, but wonder who was he comparing 69 00:03:56,520 --> 00:04:00,840 Speaker 1: himself against. If Matt Mullenwegg feels unproductive, what hope is 70 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:05,200 Speaker 1: there for the rest of us? But fomo won't magically 71 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:08,320 Speaker 1: disappear just because you're aware of it. We need to 72 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:12,360 Speaker 1: deliberately turn our fomo into jomo the joy of missing 73 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,160 Speaker 1: out Now. 74 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:16,840 Speaker 2: A big reason why we experience fomo. 75 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:19,240 Speaker 1: Is because we are out of touch with what truly 76 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:22,760 Speaker 1: motivates us. Instead, we evaluate our lives based on the 77 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:26,919 Speaker 1: benchmarks and expectations set by others. So to turn fomo 78 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:30,680 Speaker 1: into jomo, we need to get reacquainted with what deeply 79 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:34,960 Speaker 1: motivates us. That is what fosters intrinsic motivation. Because when 80 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:39,080 Speaker 1: we're intrinsically motivated, we naturally chune out the outside world 81 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,800 Speaker 1: because we're immersed in the task at hand. So here 82 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:47,679 Speaker 1: are several strategies to boost intrinsic motivation to experience jomo 83 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:54,280 Speaker 1: and not fomo. First up, work on an appropriately challenging project. 84 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:57,800 Speaker 1: So when we find ourselves working on a project at 85 00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:01,440 Speaker 1: work that is either too hard or too easy, our 86 00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:04,559 Speaker 1: attention wanders, and it often wanders to our social media 87 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:07,279 Speaker 1: feed or some other distraction that feeds our FO mode. 88 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:11,000 Speaker 1: But when we find the Goldilocks project, a project that's 89 00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:13,440 Speaker 1: neither too easy nor too hard, and is the perfect 90 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:16,919 Speaker 1: fit for our skill level, it becomes effortless to stay focused. 91 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:19,840 Speaker 1: So working on a project that fits within your challenge 92 00:05:19,839 --> 00:05:23,880 Speaker 1: sweet spot increases intrinsic motivation. We derive a sense of 93 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:27,760 Speaker 1: purpose through wanting to conquer the challenge, and because this 94 00:05:27,839 --> 00:05:30,160 Speaker 1: type of work gets us into flow, we are one 95 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:34,560 Speaker 1: hundred percent focused on ourselves and not on others. The 96 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:37,039 Speaker 1: second tip I have for you is to focus on 97 00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:42,840 Speaker 1: your unique strengths. So Warton Professor Adam Grant is well 98 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:45,479 Speaker 1: known for being a giver. Indeed, he wrote the book 99 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:49,200 Speaker 1: on the topic and why I interviewed Adam on this podcast. 100 00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:50,240 Speaker 2: He spoke about. 101 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:53,560 Speaker 1: How he aligns his approach to giving with his strengths. 102 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:57,839 Speaker 1: So Adam had identified two of his unique strengths, one 103 00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:01,200 Speaker 1: of which was knowledge sharing, where he loves it when 104 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:06,920 Speaker 1: someone reaches out with some random question around some potentially 105 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:10,560 Speaker 1: esoteric information that he's collected from academic journals and loves 106 00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 1: the chance to share it with someone who might be 107 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,400 Speaker 1: curious about it or can apply it in some way. 108 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:19,440 Speaker 1: And the second strength he identified was making mutually beneficial connections, 109 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:22,960 Speaker 1: and so he jumps on the chance to use both 110 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,400 Speaker 1: of those two unique strengths of his. 111 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:30,880 Speaker 2: Psychology Professor HATTSA. Littmann A. 112 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:34,960 Speaker 1: Vadia and again sorry about the pronunciation, and Professor Michael 113 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:38,839 Speaker 1: Stegger found that when people recognize their own strengths, they 114 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:42,240 Speaker 1: report feeling that their life has a clearer sense of purpose, 115 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:46,360 Speaker 1: a key driver of intrinsic motivation. When we recognize our 116 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:49,240 Speaker 1: own strengths, we feel more confident in our ability to 117 00:06:49,279 --> 00:06:50,880 Speaker 1: pursue what truly matters to us. 118 00:06:51,279 --> 00:06:52,680 Speaker 2: And in research published. 119 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:55,479 Speaker 1: In the Journal of Positive Psychology, researchers ask people to 120 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:58,880 Speaker 1: spend fifteen minutes writing about their best possible self and 121 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:01,680 Speaker 1: then spend time thinking about what their life would look 122 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:05,839 Speaker 1: like if everything unfolded as they desired. In contrast, a 123 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:08,800 Speaker 1: control group spent fifteen minutes writing about a typical day 124 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:12,080 Speaker 1: in their life and their imagining their future now. In 125 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:14,920 Speaker 1: comparison to the control group, those who imagine their best 126 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:19,880 Speaker 1: possible self reported feeling significantly more optimistic because when we 127 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:23,920 Speaker 1: form vivid images of ourselves in our future, related consequences 128 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:25,280 Speaker 1: feel more likely. 129 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:27,559 Speaker 2: Now. 130 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,440 Speaker 1: The third out of four tips that I want to 131 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:34,560 Speaker 1: go through is to foster connections in real life. This 132 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:39,080 Speaker 1: is a great way to drive JOEM as opposed to phomo. So, 133 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:42,200 Speaker 1: according to self determination theory, feeling connected to others is 134 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:45,880 Speaker 1: a key driver of intrinsic motivation, and not surprisingly, research 135 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:50,800 Speaker 1: also shows that people who feel lonely experience FOMO more acutely. 136 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:55,200 Speaker 1: As such, increasing our own connectedness through prioritizing face to 137 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:59,120 Speaker 1: face gatherings helps us focus on our own life rather 138 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:02,880 Speaker 1: than that of others. So Carolyn Creswell, who's the founder 139 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:06,040 Speaker 1: and CEO of Carmen's Kitchen, a Musli business turning over 140 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:09,520 Speaker 1: one hundred million dollars annually, who's also been on this podcast, 141 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:13,040 Speaker 1: places huge importance on face to face connections in the workplace. 142 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:17,160 Speaker 1: At Carmen's Kitchen HQ, there is actually a ban on 143 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:19,880 Speaker 1: eating lunch at your desk and instead a twelve thirty 144 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:23,560 Speaker 1: every day, everyone stops work to eat lunch together at 145 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:26,400 Speaker 1: a big communal table with meals prepared by an in 146 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:27,400 Speaker 1: house chef. 147 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:30,280 Speaker 2: And their staff will do puzzles together, have a laugh, 148 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:31,520 Speaker 2: and then return to their desks. 149 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:33,960 Speaker 1: Now, if you don't have time to take a lunch 150 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:37,320 Speaker 1: break and connect, researchers from Ioas State University uncovered a 151 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:37,719 Speaker 1: way to. 152 00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:40,000 Speaker 2: Promote connection in just twelve minutes. 153 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:45,280 Speaker 1: So these are researchers ask students to engage in twelve 154 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:50,560 Speaker 1: minutes of loving Kindness meditation, whereby they ask students to 155 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:53,520 Speaker 1: walk around building on campus and wherever they whenever they 156 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:56,160 Speaker 1: saw a person, think to themselves, I wish for this 157 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:59,960 Speaker 1: person to be happy. Compared to other interventions such as 158 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:05,120 Speaker 1: a standard mindfulness meditation, loving kindness meditation increased happiness, epathy, 159 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:07,920 Speaker 1: and feelings of connection. So rather than feel jealous of 160 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:11,760 Speaker 1: others because you are missing out, we need to flip 161 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:15,760 Speaker 1: that and think about wishing happiness towards other people. Now, 162 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:17,960 Speaker 1: the final tip I have for you to turn jomo 163 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:21,440 Speaker 1: or to turn fomo into jomo rather is to make 164 00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:28,359 Speaker 1: downward comparisons. So Mark Twain is famous for saying comparison 165 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:33,640 Speaker 1: is the death of joy. Now, Mak's wisdom of comparison 166 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:36,720 Speaker 1: being the death of joy is only actually half true. 167 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:40,600 Speaker 1: It ignores the second type of comparison humans can make, 168 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:45,120 Speaker 1: which are downward comparisons. So, downward social comparisons occur when 169 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:48,120 Speaker 1: we compare ourselves to others who are less fortunate, which 170 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:51,400 Speaker 1: leads to us feeling better about ourselves. So, for example, 171 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:55,000 Speaker 1: research into downward comparison theory found that when job seekers 172 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:58,800 Speaker 1: compare themselves against a less qualified applicant, they feel better 173 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:02,720 Speaker 1: about their own qualit qualifications and in turn, their self 174 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:07,280 Speaker 1: esteem increased. Making downward comparisons has also been shown to 175 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:10,840 Speaker 1: increase satisfaction with your life. So, rather than falling into 176 00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:15,280 Speaker 1: the upward comparison trap triggered by FOMO, deliberately engage in 177 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:18,480 Speaker 1: downward comparisons to help improve your self esteem and motivation. 178 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:22,040 Speaker 1: For example, rather than worrying about the meeting you opted 179 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:25,200 Speaker 1: to miss this morning, focus on how much more work 180 00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:28,040 Speaker 1: you're getting done compared to your less fortunate colleagues who 181 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:31,719 Speaker 1: chosen to attend the meeting. Now, for me, as I 182 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:34,120 Speaker 1: look ahead in my calendar to meetings I've got coming 183 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,880 Speaker 1: up in the next few weeks, I can see a 184 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:38,840 Speaker 1: few more group video calls approaching to prepare for this 185 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:41,959 Speaker 1: global summit. But rather than hedge my beds and A 186 00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:44,480 Speaker 1: ten half heartedly in case I miss out on something, 187 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:47,160 Speaker 1: I'm going to delete them all from my diary and 188 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:49,480 Speaker 1: bask in the joy of missing out. 189 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 2: Now, that is it for today's show. If you liked it, 190 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:55,640 Speaker 2: or if you know. 191 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:59,200 Speaker 1: Someone who's suffering from a bad case of FOMO, maybe 192 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,280 Speaker 1: share this episode with them and hopefully they'll find those 193 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:05,600 Speaker 1: four tips helpful. And if you're enjoying how I work 194 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:08,440 Speaker 1: but you're not a subscriber, why not hit subscribe and 195 00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:12,600 Speaker 1: be alerted whenever a new episode drops. Thank you so 196 00:11:12,679 --> 00:11:14,720 Speaker 1: much for listening, and I'll see you next time.