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Speaker 1: This is a podcast about failure with me. Lola Berry, author, nutritionist,

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Speaker 1: and yoga teacher, join me as we get to know

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Speaker 1: these guests and learn about how their failures have ultimately

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Speaker 1: shaped their dreams. Welcome to Fearlessly Failing with Lola Berry. Hello,

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Speaker 1: it's Lola Berry here. Quick little check in. I think

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Speaker 1: it'd be It is now our second week of kind

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Speaker 1: of like the restrictions slightly lifting. Although Matt and I

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Speaker 1: are still self isolating in Talkie and we love it,

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Speaker 1: I don't think we want to leave anytime soon. I

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Speaker 1: think I don't know. Matt brought this up actually at

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Speaker 1: the very start of Lockdown that maybe Matt is my boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: By the way, Bosso also the wonderful producer of this podcast,

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Speaker 1: and I absolutely drive him nuts and he's sitting next

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Speaker 1: to me smiling as I say this. But right at

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Speaker 1: the beginning of Lockdown, Matt said, I'm more concerned about

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Speaker 1: when we have to come out of lockdown. He said,

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Speaker 1: like that's going to come with its own set of

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Speaker 1: confronting circumstances, like seeing people again, being afraid if someone

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Speaker 1: coffs near you, or coming into contact with people like

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Speaker 1: I've noticed when I go out to the public. People

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Speaker 1: are less inclined to make eye contact. Now that's just

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Speaker 1: when I go for my beach walk or something like that.

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Speaker 1: So it's really interesting. It's an interesting time. We definitely

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Speaker 1: both are really settled into living in isolation together and

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Speaker 1: for me, like I study and studying via zoom is

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Speaker 1: actually becoming kind of cool and a very different way

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Speaker 1: to learn. But feeling such a great to still be

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Speaker 1: able to study during isolation.

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Speaker 2: Right O.

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Speaker 1: Today's guest Olivia Molly Rodgers. Wonderful girl, wonderful story. So

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Speaker 1: she was Miss University in twenty seventeen. She's a South

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Speaker 1: Australian girl. This girl's a speech pathologist and you'll hear

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Speaker 1: she's got this very beautiful voice. We just were editing

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Speaker 1: a little bit of the podcast together now and I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, how beautiful is Olivia's voice.

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Speaker 2: She's this wonderful voice.

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Speaker 1: She's got this positive mindset and outlook really open about

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Speaker 1: mental health, will really open about body image. I think

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Speaker 1: if you're a girl that's ever suffered with I guess

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Speaker 1: a little bit of body this morphia, or you know,

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Speaker 1: you have those days where you look in the mirror

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Speaker 1: and you're like, I feel fat today, or my tummy

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Speaker 1: doesn't feel good, or my thighs look big, my butt

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Speaker 1: looks shit, whatever it is, you'll probably relate to this

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Speaker 1: because this is a very seemingly successful, super beautiful girl

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Speaker 1: that shares her own struggles and battles with her body

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Speaker 1: and the way that she's kind of moved through that,

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Speaker 1: and then to see her on the other side of

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Speaker 1: it as well, this beautiful picture of health. Thank you, Olivia,

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Speaker 1: not just for sharing so much of yourself, but just

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Speaker 1: for being super open, honest and also sharing your knowledge.

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Speaker 1: I have loved hearing Yeah, you speak on so many

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Speaker 1: different topics, And thank you for inspiring me to get

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Speaker 1: into drawing and coloring, because I now coloring every day

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Speaker 1: is part of my mindfulness practice and you absolutely triggered

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Speaker 1: that in me. So thank you and everybody. I hope

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Speaker 1: you love the beautiful and kind and caring and super

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Speaker 1: knowledgeable Olivia Molly Rogers. You and I met. Do you

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Speaker 1: remember when we met?

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Speaker 3: I remember it very well. You were speaking at an event,

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Speaker 3: Yeah and Ood Life Wellness Studio as it called. It

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Speaker 3: was a lunch and I, to be completely honest, I

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Speaker 3: hadn't heard of you before. I hadn't lived in Melbourne

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Speaker 3: for that long. You just chopped a mot just chopped

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Speaker 3: my mark. We're talking about the mop literally.

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Speaker 2: I think that week even.

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Speaker 1: It's been a lot of fun to research you. I

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Speaker 1: think I texted you this yesterday because because of the

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Speaker 1: Miss Universe journey, there's so much footage of you, and

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Speaker 1: you've got these long, lushs.

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Speaker 2: I look like a completely differs.

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Speaker 1: Will you kind of go from like cute hot girl

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Speaker 1: next door to like sassy sixy gives you like it's spunk?

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Speaker 3: No, thank you, I don't. I don't see myself like

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Speaker 3: that at all. But really, yeah, no, definitely not the SaaS.

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Speaker 3: I think I'm yeah, sas in a good way. I'll

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Speaker 3: take it. But I just I don't think I'm sassy.

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Speaker 3: I don't think I'm cool enough to be sassy.

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Speaker 1: Well, this is the thing that I loved. I watched it,

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Speaker 1: so I went through the I went down the rabbit

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Speaker 1: hole on YouTube that is Olivia Molly Rogers and watched

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Speaker 1: the top. I watch are view and you're like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm a huge nerd. At school, I had I had

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Speaker 1: a book You've got a book club back?

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Speaker 3: Oh, Andrew, Well I did, and I miss that I'm

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Speaker 3: thinking now I should start maybe like an online book

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Speaker 3: club something, find my people.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, man, and I love that you've said you're like

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Speaker 1: and I often call myself a goober, but when you

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Speaker 1: said a nerd, I was like, yeah, you're speaking my language.

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Speaker 1: So for people that are just tuning in now, you

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Speaker 1: miss Universe Australia two thousand and seven, seventeen.

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Speaker 2: Correct seven you two thousand and seven, I was you

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Speaker 2: would have.

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Speaker 1: Been twelve or something. Yeah, twenty seventeen. You've done so

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Speaker 1: much stuff model obviously you're like brand ambassador for a

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Speaker 1: bazillion different campaigns.

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Speaker 3: A bazillion, that's a good number. Yeah, Oh, there's been

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Speaker 3: a lot. There's been a lot. It's been you know,

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Speaker 3: almost three years now since Miss University happened, so that

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Speaker 3: kind of propelled a whole lot of different things.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but like TV presenting and hosting, You've been on

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Speaker 1: heaps of radio shows, TV shows, like you've kind of

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Speaker 1: done the gamut of like all things media in Australia.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess so.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, and for someone who'd never planned on

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Speaker 3: doing any of that, it was kind of how cool.

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Speaker 1: I love that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it was cool. It's been cool and then.

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Speaker 1: The other parts of you that I'm so excited to

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Speaker 1: explore is speech pathologist. That's hard to say when you've

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Speaker 1: got a lisp, by the way, which you've probably already

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Speaker 1: picked up, You've got.

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Speaker 3: Like a nice it's not I wouldn't call it a

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Speaker 3: lisp so much. It's just like a different s.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's so oh my goodness said. You know, after this,

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Speaker 1: I go to my dialect coach.

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Speaker 2: I'm a but I like your s I love it.

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Speaker 3: I lot, Yeah, I think like there's and for me,

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Speaker 3: like I, speech impediments do sometimes really rub me the

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Speaker 3: wrong way because I'm like, oh, I just wish someone

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Speaker 3: helped you when you were younger. But yours isn't like that.

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Speaker 3: Yours isn't the type of lisp that really impairs your speech.

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Speaker 3: It's just like just like a nice feature of your speech.

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Speaker 1: I think that's Oh, day made, day made so okay.

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Speaker 1: So because I will digress, the way I into you,

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Speaker 1: unfortunately is my brain is like a little.

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Speaker 2: No, I'm the same.

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Speaker 1: That's even when we got here. In the five minutes

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Speaker 1: before this, you were like, I think we've spoken about

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Speaker 1: five different.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I just opened like fifty tabs and not close

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Speaker 3: any of them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so so you studied speech pathology and you are

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Speaker 1: a speech pathologist because we were going to record this

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Speaker 1: on a Tuesday and that's when you're in clinic.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, correct, Yes, And that's.

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Speaker 1: Obviously a really big passion of yours because I've been

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Speaker 1: following along on Insta and you share like your clinic

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Speaker 1: days and you're like, what, man, you can see that

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Speaker 1: you're so I don't know what the word that I'm

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Speaker 1: looking for, but you're so driven and motivated, like it's

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Speaker 1: a very big part of.

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Speaker 2: Who you are. Yeah, I really love it.

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Speaker 3: And I didn't practice for a couple of years, like

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Speaker 3: when I so when I started the whole Miss Universe journey,

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Speaker 3: I suppose you call it. When I got through the

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Speaker 3: state final from South Australia, I competed as a South Australian.

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Speaker 3: I moved to Melbourne the following week. So yeah, so

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Speaker 3: I was the move was always happening, and then I

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Speaker 3: didn't think I would get through the State final, so

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Speaker 3: I was sort of like, I'll do the State Final,

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Speaker 3: then I'll move and then you know, I'll get to

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Speaker 3: Melbourne and get a speech job and figure all of

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Speaker 3: that out. But because I got through the state final.

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Speaker 3: It's such a big commitment. Once you get through, you've

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Speaker 3: then got a trip to Bali and all of these

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Speaker 3: different workshops and things that you need to be available for.

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Speaker 3: So I was like, there's no point in me moving

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Speaker 3: to a different state, getting a new job and then

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Speaker 3: telling them, oh sorry, and actually going to Bali in

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Speaker 3: a week and I can't be here. So I was like,

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Speaker 3: I'll just put a hold on that, do the whole

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Speaker 3: Miss universe thing and I so when I got to Melbourne,

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Speaker 3: I was just sort of painting and doing a bit

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Speaker 3: of modeling and stuff like that, and then waited out.

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Speaker 2: Competed in this universe.

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Speaker 3: Still didn't think I would win, So my whole idea was,

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Speaker 3: you know, I'd finish it all, enjoy the process, and

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Speaker 3: then get a speech job.

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Speaker 2: But then I won, so fat kind of.

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Speaker 1: Watch videos of you winning and you're literally like in

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Speaker 1: utter shock.

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Speaker 3: Oh I look like such a now But we actually,

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Speaker 3: I mean a very glam one at the time. But

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Speaker 3: we actually watched those the other night because Justin hadn't

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Speaker 3: seen clips, and we got YouTube up on the TV

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Speaker 3: and we'd had a few wines and he was showing

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Speaker 3: our housemates and a friend of ours, like all these

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Speaker 3: clips from the International Universe and yeah, all these things,

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Speaker 3: and it just gave me flashbacks of that feeling being

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Speaker 3: on stage and literally thinking like what.

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Speaker 2: Just like what has happened? A froze?

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Speaker 3: So all of the cameras and things were in front

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Speaker 3: of me, and I was like, I don't know what

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Speaker 3: to do. I hadn't really listened when they said, you know,

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Speaker 3: if you won, this is what you do in rehearsals,

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Speaker 3: because I was like, well, I'm not going to win,

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Speaker 3: so I don't really need to listen to this, so

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Speaker 3: i'd tune out. And then I was standing there and

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Speaker 3: I'm like what. I literally said, what the fuck? And

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Speaker 3: one of the judges was like, don't like, you know,

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Speaker 3: hand to throat, like stop talking. And then so I

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Speaker 3: was looking at the and they were all like waves.

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Speaker 3: So then I do this like really awkward wave and

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Speaker 3: all the photos and my fingers look like they're stuck together.

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Speaker 3: It was a full Queen waves, so embarrassing, but yeah,

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Speaker 3: I think it shows you how yeah shocked I was

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Speaker 3: and that it wasn't something that I had ever expected.

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Speaker 1: To But I think that's the beauty of it. Can

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Speaker 1: I ask why you didn't think you'd get it.

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Speaker 3: I think I don't want to say self doubt, because

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Speaker 3: it wasn't so much that I just didn't think it

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Speaker 3: was me. I just never saw, you know, the whole

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Speaker 3: Miss Universe title next to my name, like it wasn't

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Speaker 3: something that I pictured it, Like I was saying, speech

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Speaker 3: pathology was something that I just I just saw myself

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Speaker 3: doing that. And you know, when you study four years

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Speaker 3: to do something, you prepare for something for so long,

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Speaker 3: Like that's sort of how I saw myself and that

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Speaker 3: was it, whereas Miss Universe was a very quick thing

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Speaker 3: that just happened.

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Speaker 2: So it wasn't.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it wasn't that I doubted myself and didn't think

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Speaker 3: I should do it. I mean, there were there were

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Speaker 3: definitely times where I felt like that, Yeah, and you know,

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Speaker 3: the whole imposter syndrome kicked in a lot of the

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Speaker 3: time once I did win it. But but yeah, it

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Speaker 3: was more that it just wasn't the way I saw

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Speaker 3: my life going.

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Speaker 1: I suppose so okay, so quickly, I just want to

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Speaker 1: enjoy this Miss Universe. I saw an interview of you,

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Speaker 1: and you were decked out in a frock that was

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Speaker 1: Sydney harbor Bridge. Oh yeah, you look like a Victorian

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Speaker 1: secret model with the like instead of the wings with

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Speaker 1: the fire with fireworks. Yes, so is that? So? Is

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Speaker 1: this when you go? Because from what I can understand

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Speaker 1: from Miss Universe, is you kind of like in the

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Speaker 1: vortex of Miss Universe?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Is it free year? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Well, so that's why I didn't practice speech was because

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Speaker 3: I then had to be available for all sorts of

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Speaker 3: things at all times, and I wanted to make the

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Speaker 3: most of every opportunity that came my way because it

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Speaker 3: would be silly not to, like, it's a really it's

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Speaker 3: literally a once in a lifetime opportunity. And I know

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Speaker 3: that there are so many girls that would kill to

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Speaker 3: be doing what I was doing, So that always motivated me.

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Speaker 3: You know, if I was exhausted and I didn't want

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Speaker 3: to really do something or I felt like I couldn't

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Speaker 3: do it, I was like, no, suck it up. I

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Speaker 3: imagine the girls it really would kill to be doing this,

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Speaker 3: and that would always push me further, I think. So, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I was traveling all the time, I was speaking at

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Speaker 3: different things.

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Speaker 1: Did you go to shoots? Yeah, part of it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well it's not always Vegas, but there's an international

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Speaker 3: competition every year, and yeah, mine just happened to be

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Speaker 3: in Vegas.

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Speaker 2: It was.

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Speaker 3: It's funny because everyone's like, oh my god, how cool Vegas,

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Speaker 3: but you don't. You don't see Vegas as Vegas. Like

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Speaker 3: we were pretty much cooped in our hotel for the

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Speaker 3: entire two weeks. It's two weeks of rehearsals, photo shoots, filming,

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Speaker 3: meet and greets, pr opportunities, that sort of thing for

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Speaker 3: the two weeks in the lead up to the finale.

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Speaker 3: And you meet Trump, can I ask, No, he doesn't

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Speaker 3: own it anymore.

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Speaker 1: So he was out of it by the time you got.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, he I think he because he did for ages,

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Speaker 3: didn't he remember? I think when he became president, of course,

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Speaker 3: that's when that had had to which makes sense. I

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Speaker 3: think it would be quite weird if the president. I mean,

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Speaker 3: it's all weird that he is a president anyway. But yeah, no,

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Speaker 3: he doesn't own it. I m g own it, so

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Speaker 3: I yeah, it's all very different, which is great because

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Speaker 3: I don't think I would have made it to where

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Speaker 3: I did if he still owned it.

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Speaker 1: So when you say that is this the body image?

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Speaker 1: Is this? Because the value was the values changed for sure.

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Speaker 3: I think one of the main reasons I won was

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Speaker 3: the fact that I do have a degree in speech pathology,

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Speaker 3: and I have a voice, and I want to talk

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Speaker 3: about things that mean something and not you know, not

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Speaker 3: to say that the girls before me didn't, but I

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Speaker 3: think a lot more value was placed on exterior things. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you know when Jen Hawkins won like Jen's and obviously

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Speaker 3: has done so so well, but she was a promo girl.

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Speaker 3: Yeah that's all I mean is that, And there's nothing

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Speaker 3: wrong with that either, but she wouldn't make it to

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Speaker 3: the national finals. Now, let alone win the whole thing.

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Speaker 3: Because you have to have you have to have more drive,

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Speaker 3: I guess, to be even if you're not studying, you

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Speaker 3: want to You've got to say, you know, this is

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Speaker 3: what I want to be doing, and this is if

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Speaker 3: I won Miss Universe, this is what I would use

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Speaker 3: it for. I'd use the platform to speak about whatever

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Speaker 3: it is that you're passionate about. Yeah, you can't just

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Speaker 3: sort of smile and nod and say what you're told

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Speaker 3: to say, which is kind of what Trump used to push.

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Speaker 1: And any if you've seen any like there are amazing

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Speaker 1: movies on beauty pageants and stuff and it's like global warming.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's literally like girls used to answer the

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Speaker 3: questions saying trying to be politically correct and say what

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Speaker 3: they think people want to hear, whereas now that doesn't

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Speaker 3: have to have a voice. Like you don't ever see

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Speaker 3: videos now of the girls who make the top five,

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Speaker 3: particularly the International final, they're all just amazing women. The

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Speaker 3: girls that make to get to that stage, they have

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Speaker 3: a message and so when they ask a question, they

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Speaker 3: don't fumble like they used to, or they say silly

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Speaker 3: things they say, you know, they talk about things they're

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Speaker 3: passionate about, and they're really inspiring. So it's just it's

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Speaker 3: really changed.

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Speaker 1: That's cool.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So it was cool.

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Speaker 3: It was cool to be a part of something that

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Speaker 3: is so different to what people think it is.

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Speaker 1: I think you're making them, Like I already liked you

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Speaker 1: before with this batter, I'm like, oh, she is just

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Speaker 1: amazing the most stop and speaking of and the same.

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Speaker 1: I feel like the things you choose to do are

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Speaker 1: probably in line with this kind of value that you

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Speaker 1: just kind of touched on. Yeah, I saw you recently

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Speaker 1: walk the cat walk. That was the price line, which

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Speaker 1: was all about empowering women wasn't it.

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Speaker 3: That was like I knew it was going to be

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Speaker 3: a fun, awesome thing to be a part of, but

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Speaker 3: it was really moving.

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Speaker 2: It was quite emotional. There were a lot of women

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Speaker 2: in tears.

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Speaker 3: I think to see all these women who haven't been

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Speaker 3: represented like that before.

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Speaker 2: It was. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: It was really all different shapes and sizes of all

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Speaker 1: different age groups.

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Speaker 2: Yes, different backgrounds.

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Speaker 1: And I think someone walked that was a because I

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Speaker 1: was seeing next to so I was in the audience,

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Speaker 1: sitting next to someone at price Line, and they were like,

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Speaker 1: this is our retailer, Like there was a retailer and

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Speaker 1: I was like, this is amazing.

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Speaker 3: She was so funny, though she got annoyed at me

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Speaker 3: because she said, you know, I was so excited because

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Speaker 3: I was going to be in the paper and then

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Speaker 3: the article ended up being all about how I was

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Speaker 3: walking in it and it was like and a pharmacy owner.

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Speaker 3: She's like, they didn't put my name, they just said

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Speaker 3: pharmacy owner. And I was like, oh, well, at least

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Speaker 3: you know that it was you.

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Speaker 1: Oh.

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Speaker 2: I felt so bad.

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Speaker 1: Because is it true I read this probably same article.

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Speaker 1: You hadn't taken to the catwalking quite a while.

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Speaker 3: I hadn't been on a runway since the International Missuniverse final.

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Speaker 1: Dude, Yeah, and you and I've read this in a

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Speaker 1: few articles with you now, you're very passionate about positive

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Speaker 1: body image, and they kind of brought that up in

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Speaker 1: the art as well, and Saideah one of the articles,

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Speaker 1: and they kind of said that that you kind of

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Speaker 1: had taken a stand and been like, I don't want

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Speaker 1: to walk while I am not fit, like well body

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Speaker 1: IMA just kind of unless they've I don't know, correct me, please.

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Speaker 2: So I get what you're saying.

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Speaker 3: I when I was younger, when I started modeling catwalk,

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Speaker 3: I was always told that first of all, that I

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Speaker 3: was too short for catwalk.

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Speaker 2: Was I was on a cusp of the heart.

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Speaker 1: You look super tall to me.

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Speaker 2: I am tall.

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Speaker 3: I'm not crazy tall, but I'm five nine, which is

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Speaker 3: all five eight and a half five nine. That is

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Speaker 3: the that's considered short for your I guess you know,

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Speaker 3: this was ten years ago or more eleven years ago

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Speaker 3: that I started mobbling, and there was more importance placed

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Speaker 3: on size and height then than there is now. But yeah,

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Speaker 3: at the time, I was a short model, so runway

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Speaker 3: was never something that I was really pushed to do.

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Speaker 2: And I also didn't love it.

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Speaker 3: Like I'd see videos of myself walking and I was like, oh,

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Speaker 3: I look a bit awkward. And when I was up

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Speaker 3: there having all eyes on you and also trying to

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Speaker 3: keep a straight face, I hated it, Like I suck

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Speaker 3: at that. I'm a smiling person and if I feel awkward,

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00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:15,040
Speaker 3: I smile more. And also my mom used to come

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Speaker 3: and watch me, like a couple of times that I

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Speaker 3: did do a runway, She'd be like, eh, Olivia, And

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Speaker 3: so then I'm trying to not smile, So then my

380
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,280
Speaker 3: mouth would end up looking like a cat's bum hole

381
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Speaker 3: because I'm like trying to you know, you know, when

382
00:18:26,359 --> 00:18:28,919
Speaker 3: you're like piercing, you like pursing your lips together.

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Speaker 2: So it was just never a good look.

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Speaker 3: But also you have to be so thin because the samples,

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Speaker 3: well back then, particularly the samples that they provide for

386
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Speaker 3: a runway show, they were always like size six, size eight.

387
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Speaker 3: They don't fit you. It's fine on a shoot because

388
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Speaker 3: they can, you know, they can maneuver things. They can

389
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Speaker 3: put clips on where they need to, they can leave

390
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:50,159
Speaker 3: zips open if they need to and then spin it

391
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:52,920
Speaker 3: around and do things like that. But on a runway,

392
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Speaker 3: people see you from all angles, so if the clothes don't.

393
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Speaker 2: Fit you, you.

394
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Speaker 3: Can't wear it, So there was way more pressure on weight.

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Speaker 3: I just didn't really like that. So yeah, so I'm.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for talking about that because the reason, and

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Speaker 1: this is the moment that I really want to get

398
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:09,199
Speaker 1: you on the podcast. You and I went to an

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Speaker 1: event together for Intermo the Lingerie. We were having a

400
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:17,520
Speaker 1: few cheeky rosees, yes we were, and we got talking

401
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Speaker 1: about body image, you, myself, and Abi Gilmore.

402
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Speaker 2: Yes, a long that day.

403
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Speaker 1: We had a lot of fun and you said something like,

404
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,199
Speaker 1: I'm the healthiest I've been now, but I'm also so

405
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:34,200
Speaker 1: much heavier than what I was when I was doing catwalk?

406
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Speaker 1: Is that correct? Well?

407
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Speaker 3: Modeling and particular. So, like I said, I didn't do

408
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Speaker 3: much runway, but I yeah, I was still told to

409
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Speaker 3: be a certain size. So I developed an eat disorder.

410
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Speaker 3: And yeah, it was funny because I I think so

411
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Speaker 3: many girls get get it in their heads at a

412
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Speaker 3: certain age.

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Speaker 2: I think.

414
00:19:57,160 --> 00:20:01,359
Speaker 3: Every woman has gone through body image issues and to

415
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:04,119
Speaker 3: different extents. For sure, I'm not saying everybody's had an

416
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,879
Speaker 3: eating disorder. I know that you have had issues with

417
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:11,280
Speaker 3: eating disorders in the past. Yeah, I don't think everybody's

418
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:13,720
Speaker 3: had an eating disorder, but I think everybody has struggled

419
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:15,560
Speaker 3: to look in the mirror and be like, I'm okay

420
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Speaker 3: with this, And there are different times in your life

421
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:21,000
Speaker 3: when that's worse than others. But when I was a teenager,

422
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:24,560
Speaker 3: I remember so much like before I developed any sort

423
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:28,160
Speaker 3: of issue with food, looking at girls that worse more

424
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Speaker 3: than me because I was chubby from like twelve till

425
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Speaker 3: probably sixteen or fifteen or no, maybe younger than that,

426
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Speaker 3: I don't know, Like I went through a really chubby

427
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:41,600
Speaker 3: phase and I became ade.

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Speaker 1: You one too as well, though that's when you're growing.

429
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:47,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it was not it was more not health's sadness. Yeah,

430
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:49,920
Speaker 3: I like my parents broke up. There are a whole

431
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:51,439
Speaker 3: lot of things. Was it was younger than that my

432
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:52,879
Speaker 3: parents put up when I was eight. I think from

433
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:56,360
Speaker 3: when I was like nine to maybe nine to twelve, particularly,

434
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,920
Speaker 3: I became a bit chubby, and I wasn't really aware

435
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:02,720
Speaker 3: that much until other people pointed out to me. So

436
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:05,199
Speaker 3: I got picked on a bit, and that's when I

437
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:07,760
Speaker 3: was like, oh, well, being bigger is not a good thing,

438
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:10,919
Speaker 3: you know, you get told that being slim is desirable,

439
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:15,840
Speaker 3: being chubby or anything that's not slim is not desirable,

440
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:18,800
Speaker 3: and you should try and hide it. So I sort

441
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:20,560
Speaker 3: of felt like I needed to hide my body. And

442
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:22,359
Speaker 3: then my friends that I had that were smaller than me,

443
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:25,119
Speaker 3: which was majority of them, to be honest, and that

444
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:26,880
Speaker 3: would just naturally built that way.

445
00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:28,680
Speaker 2: I was quite.

446
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:32,040
Speaker 3: Envious, and I thought, imagine if I if I looked

447
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:34,359
Speaker 3: like that, I bet I'd be so happy.

448
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:35,680
Speaker 2: And I think that so many.

449
00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:38,760
Speaker 3: Girls have that totally thought like, yeah, oh e well,

450
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:40,720
Speaker 3: if my body was like that, I just have no

451
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:43,800
Speaker 3: worries because you know, so many of your worries or

452
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:46,120
Speaker 3: so much of your time is consumed by those thoughts

453
00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:48,359
Speaker 3: of like oh I hate you know, hate my legs,

454
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,280
Speaker 3: or I hate my tummy, or I hate whatever it is.

455
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:54,560
Speaker 3: You spend your time thinking about wasting energy on and

456
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:56,840
Speaker 3: you think, you know, those worries would go if you

457
00:21:56,960 --> 00:22:01,080
Speaker 3: had this slim body. But when I I became sick

458
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:03,840
Speaker 3: and I was so so skinny.

459
00:22:04,119 --> 00:22:05,280
Speaker 1: Would you say anorexic?

460
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,639
Speaker 3: Yeah, it started as anorexia because I was completely just

461
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:16,399
Speaker 3: restricting everything started as that then developed into bolimia, and

462
00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:19,760
Speaker 3: then that lasted so I didn't look sick for as

463
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:20,600
Speaker 3: long as I was sick.

464
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:21,880
Speaker 2: I was sick for a really long time.

465
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:24,119
Speaker 3: But the time that I was anorexic was when I

466
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:27,639
Speaker 3: looked the sickest and I was so skinny. But I

467
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:30,919
Speaker 3: at the same time was diagnosed with severe depression. So

468
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:35,080
Speaker 3: happiness and skinniness do not go hand in hand. And yeah,

469
00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:36,160
Speaker 3: I learned that the hard way.

470
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 1: That's such an important message because that mental mindset of

471
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:43,840
Speaker 1: I'll be happy when I'm skinny, like I've had that,

472
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:45,200
Speaker 1: I couldn't tell you a million times.

473
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:48,480
Speaker 3: Oh and you know sometimes that thought is still crazy, yeah,

474
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,159
Speaker 3: because you might be getting dressed one day and you

475
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:51,760
Speaker 3: don't really like how you look or how you feel,

476
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,120
Speaker 3: and you're like, oh, well, I'd be happy if I

477
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:57,680
Speaker 3: lost five kilos or whatever whatever that thought is. But yeah,

478
00:22:57,680 --> 00:22:59,480
Speaker 3: over the years, I've just gotten better at squashing that

479
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:01,280
Speaker 3: thought knowing that it's not the case.

480
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,600
Speaker 1: You also really opened up when we were at that

481
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:06,560
Speaker 1: event and you showed me photos and I was like,

482
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:09,639
Speaker 1: and I've got the same style photos of myself, and

483
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:15,679
Speaker 1: it's so it's so empowering when you see and feel

484
00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:18,600
Speaker 1: yourself healthy like you are now, and then when you

485
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:20,159
Speaker 1: do look back at that and you can see that

486
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:23,000
Speaker 1: that is sick. Like that's when I think you.

487
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,840
Speaker 2: Know that definitely you would know.

488
00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:28,919
Speaker 1: I'm sure the trajectory of healing eating disordered on a

489
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 1: mental health it's not a quick pricess.

490
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 2: Oh my god.

491
00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:35,359
Speaker 3: And it's also not a Okay, suddenly you wake up

492
00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:38,600
Speaker 3: and you're like I'm better, Like no, I love my body.

493
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 3: Like that doesn't happen. And I think that that's scary

494
00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:43,280
Speaker 3: for people to hear, but it's just the truth. Like

495
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:45,479
Speaker 3: I don't want to tell anybody who does have an

496
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:50,040
Speaker 3: eating disorder like I am. I want to say I'm recovered,

497
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:53,120
Speaker 3: but I do think you're always recovering, like totally. It's

498
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:56,399
Speaker 3: not something that ever completely leaves you. And when things

499
00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:58,639
Speaker 3: are uncertain in your life, it is that sort of

500
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:01,600
Speaker 3: go to thought or that feeling that you want to

501
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 3: control something. So it is like your mind is just

502
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:09,000
Speaker 3: a bit of a bitch sometimes and it's like, let's

503
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 3: think about what you're eating and what exercise you're doing,

504
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:13,760
Speaker 3: and yeah, you just have to get better and stronger.

505
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,000
Speaker 3: It's like training a muscle, like training your brain to

506
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:18,680
Speaker 3: get better at squashing those thoughts.

507
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:22,840
Speaker 1: Totally. I've got an acting teacher that's really into human

508
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:25,760
Speaker 1: behavior and neuroscience, and he talks about we need to

509
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:28,960
Speaker 1: re myelinate the brain. And it's the same with those

510
00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:33,520
Speaker 1: those negative thought patterns and switching them into I feel healthy,

511
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:35,960
Speaker 1: I look how I feel like and.

512
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:37,120
Speaker 2: Being strong as well.

513
00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:42,640
Speaker 3: Like I know when I was sick, like I could

514
00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:46,320
Speaker 3: barely sleep, Like I'd fall asleep at maybe one thirty

515
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:48,240
Speaker 3: two in the morning, but then I'd force myself to

516
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,679
Speaker 3: get up at six to go for a run, and

517
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:53,160
Speaker 3: then so by the time it got to nine am,

518
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,320
Speaker 3: I was already yawning. I'd get to UNI. This is

519
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:57,560
Speaker 3: my first year of UNI that I was probably my sickest,

520
00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,560
Speaker 3: and I'd get to UNI and sit in a lecture

521
00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:03,080
Speaker 3: and before asleep. So I was living off coffee. But

522
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:04,679
Speaker 3: just to get through a day, I would have to

523
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 3: have an app at some stage because I just couldn't

524
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:11,000
Speaker 3: my body couldn't function. And to think about that now,

525
00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:13,200
Speaker 3: like I never n app. There's no time for that.

526
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:15,760
Speaker 3: There is I would love to sometimes, but there's no

527
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:18,800
Speaker 3: time for that. And that I can go through a

528
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:21,440
Speaker 3: full night and sleep and wake up and feel rested

529
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:23,320
Speaker 3: and then get on with all the things that I

530
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:25,679
Speaker 3: want to do in my life and have the energy

531
00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:25,959
Speaker 3: for it.

532
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:27,680
Speaker 2: Like that is such a simple thing.

533
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:31,320
Speaker 3: But that was Yeah, that's I think you notice the

534
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:34,520
Speaker 3: difference there when you're like, Okay, being healthy is not

535
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:37,719
Speaker 3: about the size of my body. It is literally about

536
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,600
Speaker 3: how my body feels. And now it feels good.

537
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:42,520
Speaker 1: And i'd say to people like, you just want to

538
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:44,800
Speaker 1: feel like the best version of you. And I think

539
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:47,840
Speaker 1: being healthy is kind of like the trick to that

540
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:49,359
Speaker 1: I used to I used to do a lot of

541
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:52,760
Speaker 1: speaking at schools and I'd say, guys, I don't care

542
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 1: what you want to be, Like, I don't care what

543
00:25:54,359 --> 00:25:57,280
Speaker 1: your career trajectory is and your dream is if you

544
00:25:57,320 --> 00:26:01,680
Speaker 1: want to be the best of that part an astronaut,

545
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:04,199
Speaker 1: a dog walker, and an artist, whatever it is you

546
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:06,200
Speaker 1: want to be, your health still needs to be the

547
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,120
Speaker 1: number one priority to be the best of that.

548
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:08,800
Speaker 2: Yeah.

549
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,040
Speaker 1: It's like your magic ingredient.

550
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:12,400
Speaker 2: Yeah.

551
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:14,439
Speaker 3: And it's funny too, because I think you sort of

552
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:16,800
Speaker 3: get caught up in it all and you think that

553
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:19,119
Speaker 3: that's how Like the scary thought for me when I

554
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,600
Speaker 3: was really sick was the fear of gaining weight was

555
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:26,160
Speaker 3: so strong. Yeah, and the thought of because I thought

556
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 3: I would be like that forever. The thought of being

557
00:26:28,359 --> 00:26:30,840
Speaker 3: like that forever was exhausting to even think about. Like

558
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:33,200
Speaker 3: I was like, I can't go through my whole life

559
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:35,600
Speaker 3: with this amount of energy, Like it's just not going

560
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:38,440
Speaker 3: to work. And then that's when you know, the suicidal

561
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:40,720
Speaker 3: thoughts crept in because I was like, I can't do

562
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:45,360
Speaker 3: this for I just can't. You can't imagine living like that,

563
00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:46,800
Speaker 3: and it's not doable.

564
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:47,320
Speaker 2: You can't.

565
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:51,600
Speaker 3: You just can't do it. But yeah, I think eventually.

566
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:56,399
Speaker 3: And I watched the Taylor Swift documentary I Drinking all

567
00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:59,200
Speaker 3: of Her, I Love Her, and where she spoke about

568
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,400
Speaker 3: her eating discord and she said, you know, I used

569
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:03,159
Speaker 3: to think it was normal to come off stage and

570
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:05,680
Speaker 3: feel like I was going to faint. And that spoke

571
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:07,480
Speaker 3: to me so much because I was like, it is

572
00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:10,920
Speaker 3: you have this like clarity where you're like, oh, if

573
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:13,600
Speaker 3: I eat a normal meal, I feel good.

574
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:18,240
Speaker 1: And you can mentally compartmentalize your thought pattern. Do you

575
00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:20,880
Speaker 1: notice you can be brainworks, Oh that's just the thought

576
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:23,360
Speaker 1: I'm having. It's not actually, yeah, I'm having a negative thought.

577
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:24,560
Speaker 1: But I don't need to make.

578
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:26,200
Speaker 3: That me Yeah, And you don't need to act on it.

579
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:28,480
Speaker 1: One thing's really good because the next thing I want

580
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:29,639
Speaker 1: to talk to you about is something that you and

581
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:33,240
Speaker 1: I are both so passionate and open about, and I

582
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:34,960
Speaker 1: imagine this might have been one of the things that

583
00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:38,040
Speaker 1: helped move you through the darker time or the tougher

584
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:42,200
Speaker 1: time of the eating disorder. I'm really passionate about mental

585
00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:44,240
Speaker 1: health and seeing a therapist, and I know you are

586
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:44,720
Speaker 1: as well.

587
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:46,920
Speaker 2: Definitely, do you want to share a little bit about

588
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:48,040
Speaker 2: that journey.

589
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:51,480
Speaker 3: I think so, to be completely honest, while I've been

590
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:53,880
Speaker 3: living here, like it's coming up to three years since

591
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:57,359
Speaker 3: I've since I moved to Melbourne, and prior to moving

592
00:27:57,359 --> 00:28:01,640
Speaker 3: I had a wonderful psychologist in Adelaide, and moving here

593
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:05,120
Speaker 3: I felt really good. I honestly felt like the Miss

594
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:08,399
Speaker 3: Universe period, as challenging as it was at times, it

595
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:10,720
Speaker 3: really helped my mental health because then I put it

596
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:12,440
Speaker 3: out to the world that I'd had a needed disorder,

597
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:14,880
Speaker 3: and I felt like it sort of kept me easy

598
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:18,159
Speaker 3: as well. It did that and also held me accountable

599
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:20,440
Speaker 3: because I was like, if I ever have those thoughts

600
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:22,159
Speaker 3: and if I ever think, oh well, maybe I should

601
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:25,080
Speaker 3: lose weight for the international final, because people told me

602
00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:27,959
Speaker 3: that that I should. People were constantly commenting on how

603
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 3: I looked. But having put it out there, I was like, well,

604
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:34,600
Speaker 3: if I fall back into that trap in my own mind,

605
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:37,000
Speaker 3: I feel like I'd be letting all the people down

606
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:39,560
Speaker 3: that I have told totally and the people that have

607
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:41,280
Speaker 3: looked to me to be like, oh well if she

608
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:42,240
Speaker 3: can get through it, then.

609
00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:44,080
Speaker 2: I can to young women. Yeah.

610
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:46,400
Speaker 3: So then I felt like it wasn't just me I'd

611
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:48,120
Speaker 3: be letting down, It was all these other people. So

612
00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:51,400
Speaker 3: it held me, yeah, held me accountable and made me stronger.

613
00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:52,920
Speaker 3: So I feel like that was a really good time

614
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:57,280
Speaker 3: mentally for me. But yeah, recently I have had some

615
00:28:57,320 --> 00:29:02,360
Speaker 3: family stuff going on and wonderful my partner, but he

616
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:06,200
Speaker 3: can't fix me and I know you that, and I

617
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:07,960
Speaker 3: think I was putting a bit too much pressure on

618
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:10,720
Speaker 3: him to know what to say when I said, you know,

619
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:13,000
Speaker 3: I'm feeling really anxious or this is overwhelming me or

620
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:15,840
Speaker 3: I'm really flat today, and he doesn't always know what

621
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:17,520
Speaker 3: to say, and I was like, Okay, I'm putting too

622
00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:19,680
Speaker 3: much pressure on him to manage that, Like it's not

623
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:20,240
Speaker 3: up to him.

624
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:21,840
Speaker 2: I need to go and speak to someone else.

625
00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:24,800
Speaker 3: So that's when I decided to go and find a

626
00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:27,400
Speaker 3: good psychologist, which can be tricky, but I was really

627
00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:31,600
Speaker 3: lucky because my GP recommended one and she's awesome and yeah,

628
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:36,640
Speaker 3: I've been seeing her weekly since jan So how.

629
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:38,920
Speaker 1: Good is weekly? Weekly? Is powerful?

630
00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:39,560
Speaker 2: So good?

631
00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:44,760
Speaker 3: And I shared recently like I've been feeling great, Like

632
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 3: there was this one day that I had my session

633
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:48,720
Speaker 3: book den I had so much to do, and I

634
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:51,720
Speaker 3: was like, actually, feel good today, maybe I'll cancel. But

635
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:54,719
Speaker 3: then I was like, no, don't do that. Don't be stupid,

636
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 3: because I know in the past I've done that when

637
00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:58,680
Speaker 3: I've been feeling good and I've canceled appointments, and then

638
00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:00,960
Speaker 3: the next week things blow up and I'm like, why

639
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,680
Speaker 3: did I miss? Why did I miss an appointment? So

640
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:06,160
Speaker 3: I went and even though I had been feeling good,

641
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 3: she still somehow managed to bring.

642
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:08,920
Speaker 2: Things out that made me cry.

643
00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:11,680
Speaker 3: It's like, all that stuff's still there, you just have

644
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:13,840
Speaker 3: to have a certain conversation to bring it up. And

645
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:17,000
Speaker 3: then yeah, I always just feel so much. I have

646
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 3: so much more clarity when I when I leave.

647
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:21,080
Speaker 1: Do you know what Mike therepis said when I go

648
00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:22,600
Speaker 1: to him when I'm feeling really great and I'm like,

649
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:24,120
Speaker 1: I don't know what we're going to talk about today.

650
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:26,400
Speaker 1: He's like, now we get to do the work, and

651
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:29,080
Speaker 1: so that's when you get to kind of like clean

652
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:31,680
Speaker 1: out stuff that you might be holding on too. We

653
00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:34,360
Speaker 1: do a lot of work around eating disorder, self worth

654
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:37,920
Speaker 1: and needing something that I don't need. Ye like a

655
00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:39,840
Speaker 1: lot of like because I'm more of it. I'm more

656
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:42,720
Speaker 1: the emotional binge eater, so I go more the other way,

657
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:45,760
Speaker 1: and we like, you're feeding something that doesn't need to

658
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:49,000
Speaker 1: be fed, and so we'll do that on days I

659
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:51,240
Speaker 1: feel great. So, like I say to people, when you

660
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:53,719
Speaker 1: feel great, it's probably a perfect time for seeing therapist

661
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:57,000
Speaker 1: because you can actually get a lot of work done together.

662
00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:59,640
Speaker 3: And also think about the smaller things like somehow sometimes

663
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:02,440
Speaker 3: Like there's a lot there's a lot of family stuff

664
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:04,560
Speaker 3: that goes on for me just constantly, and I know

665
00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:05,280
Speaker 3: there is for a lot of.

666
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:06,560
Speaker 1: People away from them.

667
00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:09,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's hard, and that's something that I don't you know,

668
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:11,680
Speaker 3: as much as I share about my mental health, it's

669
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:15,000
Speaker 3: not my position to share the ins and outs of

670
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:17,880
Speaker 3: my family. Like that's their story, that's their business. I

671
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:20,800
Speaker 3: think I can say it's affecting me without telling people

672
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:23,920
Speaker 3: what the cause is. But so we talk a lot

673
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:26,440
Speaker 3: about that stuff. So when I do feel good, it's

674
00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:31,080
Speaker 3: usually when that stuff is not as pressing, so then

675
00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:33,800
Speaker 3: we can talk about the other things. And something that

676
00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:35,880
Speaker 3: came up the other day is like, I have this

677
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:40,560
Speaker 3: severe anxiety around my phone, not around social media and stuff,

678
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:44,120
Speaker 3: which people might think, but it's more I struggle to

679
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:47,360
Speaker 3: answer calls from unknown numbers, like I just can't. I

680
00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:49,880
Speaker 3: have to leave I leave it and she and so

681
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:51,520
Speaker 3: that's been my homework recently, is that.

682
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 2: I need to She has.

683
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:55,040
Speaker 3: She's told me that I have to force myself to

684
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:57,160
Speaker 3: break that behavior and answer the call.

685
00:31:58,080 --> 00:31:59,040
Speaker 1: Have you been doing it?

686
00:31:59,480 --> 00:31:59,720
Speaker 2: I have?

687
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:01,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, if I feel.

688
00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:03,640
Speaker 3: It's good every time I do it, I'm like, oh,

689
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 3: because what was I worried? My Yeah, well, my initial

690
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 3: thought is that it's going to be bad news or

691
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:11,600
Speaker 3: which is I think. I thought it was weird, But

692
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:13,600
Speaker 3: she was like, well, let's think back. Have there been

693
00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:16,040
Speaker 3: times where you've had received those kinds of phone calls?

694
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:18,680
Speaker 3: And there have been a lot, They've been a lot.

695
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:21,000
Speaker 3: So yeah, it was sort of stuck in me that

696
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:23,360
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, every time someone calls and like

697
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:26,600
Speaker 3: assuming the worst, even if it's my dad sometimes and

698
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:28,720
Speaker 3: Dad and I speak most days, but sometimes you'll be

699
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:31,200
Speaker 3: ringing me and I'm like, oh, something's gone wrong.

700
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 2: Ah.

701
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:36,000
Speaker 1: I have a great friend that I've been viewed on here,

702
00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:39,240
Speaker 1: Jad Patrick, who's a natural pathbat counselor, and he said,

703
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:43,680
Speaker 1: our brain is literally hardwired to find negative. Yeah, it's

704
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:46,480
Speaker 1: like a primal ice age protection thing. It's literally like

705
00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 1: our primal brain brainstem that's like, must survive, find the

706
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:52,280
Speaker 1: negative thing so we don't get killed. Yeah, and so

707
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:54,000
Speaker 1: it makes sense when you know that, you're like, oh,

708
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:57,000
Speaker 1: my brain is just sticky protecting the negative. Yeah, it's

709
00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:57,760
Speaker 1: total protection.

710
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:00,840
Speaker 3: But then, yeah, my psycholog just said, you've got to

711
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:02,680
Speaker 3: challenge that. So even if you look at it and

712
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:05,320
Speaker 3: you're like, okay, it's dad, he could be telling me

713
00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:08,600
Speaker 3: x y and Zai that is bad. But if that happens,

714
00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:12,080
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be okay and we'll get past it. So

715
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:14,120
Speaker 3: she's like, think of the worst thing that could happen

716
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:16,959
Speaker 3: and then pick up the phone because it's usually not

717
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:19,080
Speaker 3: going to be that, but even if it is, you'll

718
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:19,920
Speaker 3: work through it.

719
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:20,560
Speaker 1: So true.

720
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:23,880
Speaker 3: So it's been it's been a good challenge, and yeah,

721
00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:25,960
Speaker 3: it's nice to feel like you're making progress on something.

722
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,400
Speaker 3: So every time I answer it, I'm like, you know,

723
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:32,280
Speaker 3: I'm getting I'm answering with more gusto. I think I

724
00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:34,720
Speaker 3: used to word my friend. I used to answer the

725
00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:39,000
Speaker 3: phone like hello, Oh God, what's this going to be?

726
00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:40,400
Speaker 1: Do you know what happened to be the other day?

727
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:43,120
Speaker 1: You're gonna love this. I walked into a chemist and

728
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:45,440
Speaker 1: the security guard smiled at me on the way in,

729
00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:47,280
Speaker 1: and then on the way out he goes, excuse me,

730
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:51,200
Speaker 1: are you're a police officer? And I said no, But

731
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:53,760
Speaker 1: can I ask why you feel that? And he said

732
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:56,760
Speaker 1: it's the way you move your body and the way

733
00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:59,280
Speaker 1: that you engage with people, because obviously I've made eye

734
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:01,680
Speaker 1: contact with the person and I was buying so confidence.

735
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:03,600
Speaker 1: It's confidence that's so cool.

736
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:06,600
Speaker 3: I was like, thanks, I said that I'm going to

737
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:07,560
Speaker 3: go arrest someone.

738
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:11,120
Speaker 1: I noticed I answer my phone very I'm like, hello, Lola,

739
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:12,280
Speaker 1: speaking like I don't.

740
00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're very assertive, super I'm not assertive, and that's

741
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:17,839
Speaker 3: something I need to work onto. And that's I mean,

742
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:20,799
Speaker 3: that comes back to the phone cool thing. I am like, I.

743
00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:22,200
Speaker 2: Think the people please that.

744
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:24,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, I need to do that. Maybe I'll put on

745
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:25,359
Speaker 3: a costume and.

746
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:27,640
Speaker 1: I realize it though, like I must have just that's

747
00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:28,040
Speaker 1: what I mean.

748
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:29,320
Speaker 2: But that's such a compliment.

749
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:32,680
Speaker 1: I took it as Yeah, he made my day, mate. Yeah,

750
00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:37,200
Speaker 1: it is like I think your therapist is spot on,

751
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:39,120
Speaker 1: Like whatever is on the other end of that call,

752
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:41,800
Speaker 1: it's probably way worse in your head than the reality

753
00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:44,879
Speaker 1: of the situation. Yeah, and it's only your body that's

754
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:47,040
Speaker 1: protecting you to your mind that's protecting you from that,

755
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:49,120
Speaker 1: which is kind of cool. Yeah, so it's kind of

756
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:49,680
Speaker 1: a positive.

757
00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:53,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is, And that's part of the reason I

758
00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:54,759
Speaker 3: love going to it is like the conversations we have

759
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:57,280
Speaker 3: are so interesting and I feel like I'm constantly saying,

760
00:34:57,320 --> 00:34:59,239
Speaker 3: you know, I feel like it's still a little bit

761
00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:01,920
Speaker 3: to beoo here in Australia, which is why you and

762
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,360
Speaker 3: I both talk about going. I think people need to

763
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:06,200
Speaker 3: be more open about the fact that they do go.

764
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:08,600
Speaker 3: It's not nothing to be embarrassed about, whereas in America

765
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:10,560
Speaker 3: they're like, well, my therapist said, you.

766
00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:11,319
Speaker 2: Know, they always talk.

767
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 3: But I feel I feel like that person because I'm like, oh,

768
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,520
Speaker 3: well my psychologist said this, but I'm always drawing on

769
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:19,319
Speaker 3: it because it is always relevant.

770
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:22,759
Speaker 1: It is mine non negotiable. Yeah, and I think if

771
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:25,319
Speaker 1: we can help get rid of the stigma of all,

772
00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:28,200
Speaker 1: there's something wrong with you, You're going to a psychologist. What

773
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:32,560
Speaker 1: about No. I am feeling clear, I'm feeling productive, I'm

774
00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:36,719
Speaker 1: feeling driven, I'm feeling myself because I am addressing those parts.

775
00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:40,240
Speaker 3: And it also makes your relationships around you better because

776
00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:43,480
Speaker 3: you take the pressure off those Like Justin and I.

777
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:46,560
Speaker 3: It's been so much better for us because I can

778
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:49,040
Speaker 3: tell him what we've spoken about, and I still rely

779
00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:51,759
Speaker 3: on him to support me, but I don't rely on

780
00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:53,440
Speaker 3: him to know all the answers.

781
00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:55,799
Speaker 1: I'm the exact same with Matt, my partner. He's also

782
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:59,239
Speaker 1: got a therapist, and we both will separately go to

783
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:03,840
Speaker 1: our therapist and we'll have a little debrief after. The

784
00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:05,440
Speaker 1: biggest thing that's changed for us is I used to

785
00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:07,880
Speaker 1: expect things of Matt, like I'd be like, well, I

786
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:10,560
Speaker 1: expect that of you, and he's like, and my therapist

787
00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:13,440
Speaker 1: is like, drop all the expectation, and our whole relationship,

788
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:16,000
Speaker 1: which was already a good relate, really good relationship, it

789
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:22,359
Speaker 1: just went to like this amazing, like free and unconditional love.

790
00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:24,200
Speaker 1: And you get that with no expectation.

791
00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:27,160
Speaker 3: It makes such a difference. It's so good. Justin's come

792
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 3: to a couple of sessions with me too.

793
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:30,759
Speaker 1: How cool was yeah because he like them?

794
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:33,720
Speaker 3: Well yeah, he was the one who suggested it, because

795
00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:35,600
Speaker 3: he's like, I want to like, I want to learn

796
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:39,239
Speaker 3: more about what I can do to help. And I

797
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:41,399
Speaker 3: think even for him, just to like he was really

798
00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 3: chatting in the sessions, I was like, this is great.

799
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:44,280
Speaker 1: What a legend.

800
00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:46,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's so good speaking.

801
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:49,560
Speaker 1: Of positive stuff because you are such a like I think,

802
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:51,360
Speaker 1: a light of inspiration.

803
00:36:51,719 --> 00:36:53,040
Speaker 2: I couldn't do this.

804
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:57,320
Speaker 1: Dude, speaking the truth. I couldn't do this without talking

805
00:36:57,320 --> 00:36:59,680
Speaker 1: to you about your art because it came up in

806
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:02,719
Speaker 1: all the interviews. I watch a view and you and

807
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:05,279
Speaker 1: I see it all on your Instagram, and I have

808
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:07,200
Speaker 1: an obsession with Mexican folk arts.

809
00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:11,680
Speaker 3: Tell me too, clearly, I love it just the colors,

810
00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:15,520
Speaker 3: Like I just am obsessed with bright colors and the

811
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:20,000
Speaker 3: difference that makes to my mood, like painting with bright colors. Yeah, yeah,

812
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:20,680
Speaker 3: it's massive.

813
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:23,760
Speaker 1: How did you find drawing paint because you draw paint

814
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:27,200
Speaker 1: that I've made notes illustrate draw and paint I do.

815
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:31,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, it's all a combination with whatever I'm doing,

816
00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:36,840
Speaker 3: So they always start as an illustration and then depends

817
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:38,600
Speaker 3: on what I'm feeling as to what medium I want

818
00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:40,600
Speaker 3: to use. But I do love painting. Painting I find

819
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:44,000
Speaker 3: like probably the most therapeutic, but coloring in, you know,

820
00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:46,000
Speaker 3: it's become a bit of a mindfulness thing. I've actually

821
00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:48,520
Speaker 3: been thinking I want to do like a coloring in book.

822
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:50,839
Speaker 1: I saw an interview with you week where you want

823
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:51,600
Speaker 1: to do a kid's book.

824
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:54,920
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, I have illustrated that and my friend wrote it,

825
00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:57,480
Speaker 3: and this has been something that we do.

826
00:37:57,560 --> 00:37:59,800
Speaker 2: I know, we just haven't published it yet. It's literally

827
00:37:59,880 --> 00:38:01,640
Speaker 2: just they're ready to go. We need to do it.

828
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:05,719
Speaker 3: But it's yeah, it's it's about mindfulness for children. So

829
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,120
Speaker 3: we need to get it out there for sure, please

830
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:08,840
Speaker 3: please please.

831
00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:09,840
Speaker 2: And you know, it took a.

832
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:12,000
Speaker 3: Long time to do those illustrations, so I need to

833
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,040
Speaker 3: get it out there. So that's yeah, that's on the

834
00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:16,560
Speaker 3: on the to do list for this year for sure.

835
00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:19,640
Speaker 3: But I think, you know, it's funny because with my art,

836
00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:22,759
Speaker 3: like I went through a phase where that was kind

837
00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:23,720
Speaker 3: of all I was doing.

838
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:25,160
Speaker 2: Well.

839
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:26,759
Speaker 3: It was my only source of income for a while,

840
00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:31,120
Speaker 3: so when I was at UNI, my painting was my income.

841
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:33,120
Speaker 3: So for a period, like I did, I had all

842
00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:34,839
Speaker 3: sorts of jobs, like I worked a down Murphy's as

843
00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:39,080
Speaker 3: a checkout chick, I worked in retail. I've had, you know,

844
00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:42,239
Speaker 3: like most people, I've had all sorts of jobs. But

845
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:45,440
Speaker 3: then I started selling. I started painting more, and then

846
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:47,000
Speaker 3: people were interested and they were like, oh, I want

847
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:48,919
Speaker 3: to buy that. And I was like, oh, this is weird.

848
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:50,680
Speaker 3: I never thought anybody would want to buy my art.

849
00:38:50,719 --> 00:38:53,560
Speaker 3: It was just a hobby. And then yeah, it just

850
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:57,359
Speaker 3: sort of grew really quickly, like word of mouth. Being

851
00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:59,759
Speaker 3: an Adelaide. Adelaide's so small, so someone would go to

852
00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:01,360
Speaker 3: someone house and be like, oh, I like that, where'd

853
00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:03,040
Speaker 3: you get it? And then they would come to me.

854
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:05,400
Speaker 3: So I was doing commissions all the time.

855
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:06,480
Speaker 2: Oh wow.

856
00:39:06,719 --> 00:39:09,719
Speaker 3: So stopped my other job in retail and I was

857
00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:12,280
Speaker 3: just painting, which is awesome because my days are off UNI.

858
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:14,480
Speaker 3: I could just stay in my pajamas and paint all day.

859
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:16,000
Speaker 3: I loved it.

860
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:17,640
Speaker 1: It was like you said, your stuff has got so

861
00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:20,960
Speaker 1: much color and vibrancy and positivity.

862
00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:21,520
Speaker 2: Yeah.

863
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:25,080
Speaker 3: So my room in my house in Adelaide, when mum's

864
00:39:25,120 --> 00:39:28,200
Speaker 3: house in Adelaide is just it's like you vomited up

865
00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:32,799
Speaker 3: my art everywhere, like it's very bright. It's not so

866
00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:35,799
Speaker 3: much here in our place in Melbourne. But but yeah,

867
00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:37,520
Speaker 3: I was doing all the time. I ended up doing

868
00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:40,759
Speaker 3: wine labels and T shirts and Somer and.

869
00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:42,359
Speaker 1: Winds sports Girl earlier this year.

870
00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:46,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it was like I was last year. Yeah,

871
00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:46,600
Speaker 2: we did.

872
00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:51,000
Speaker 3: I did scrunchies with them, and the proceeds from the

873
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:53,279
Speaker 3: sales of the scrunches went to the Butterfly Foundation, which

874
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:56,400
Speaker 3: was just such a nice link because obviously my eating disorder.

875
00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:59,160
Speaker 3: And then yeah, to have something tangible to and to

876
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:00,480
Speaker 3: see people wearing it.

877
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:01,560
Speaker 2: It's funny because.

878
00:40:01,280 --> 00:40:02,879
Speaker 3: So many of my friends have them, and we'll catch

879
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:04,480
Speaker 3: up for a coffee or something and they'll be wearing

880
00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:05,960
Speaker 3: it and I'm like, all, nice scrunchy. They're like, oh,

881
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,200
Speaker 3: I didn't even do it on purpose. I guess I'm

882
00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:11,399
Speaker 3: all with Teagan, you know Teks. Yeah, yeah, she's rocked

883
00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:13,240
Speaker 3: up to a coffee and I'm like, oh, nice scrunchy,

884
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:15,080
Speaker 3: Like did you you know that's a bit cute.

885
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:16,440
Speaker 2: She's like, oh my god, I literally just wear it

886
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:16,839
Speaker 2: all the time.

887
00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:18,719
Speaker 1: I don't as a legend you and her are both

888
00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:23,319
Speaker 1: great ambassadors for the missuniverse. She's a friggin' she's the best.

889
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:28,719
Speaker 1: We sauna together. It's very intimate, and I said to her,

890
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:30,360
Speaker 1: what do we do? Do we wear togs? What do

891
00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:32,759
Speaker 1: we do? Like? And she's like, don't worry, mate, You're

892
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:33,440
Speaker 1: gonna be fine.

893
00:40:36,239 --> 00:40:37,000
Speaker 2: She's the best.

894
00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:40,200
Speaker 1: So I guess, like this goes so fast, by the way,

895
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:43,000
Speaker 1: can you believe it nearly at the end? No, I know,

896
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:44,520
Speaker 1: you're amazed.

897
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:48,880
Speaker 2: We need to put to I know, can can we

898
00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:49,480
Speaker 2: just talk to.

899
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:54,719
Speaker 1: I think for girls or women listening to this that

900
00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:58,440
Speaker 1: are either in a bit of a negative cycle with

901
00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:01,080
Speaker 1: food body image, And I think you mentioned like the

902
00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:04,920
Speaker 1: way that we talk to ourselves about our bodies, but

903
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:07,440
Speaker 1: also our relationship with food. Like I know I'd go

904
00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:11,640
Speaker 1: from like being really healthy and mindful and present anything

905
00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:13,480
Speaker 1: like the way you eat like your salmon and you

906
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:17,160
Speaker 1: know you like macro bowls. But then I would either

907
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:20,040
Speaker 1: overindolve and feel guilty for two days and then restrict

908
00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:22,279
Speaker 1: as a result of that. Like, and I know that's

909
00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:24,239
Speaker 1: a really common habit for a lot of people out

910
00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:27,359
Speaker 1: there listening and me being nutritionists is a common thing

911
00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:29,040
Speaker 1: that people write to me about and I just for

912
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:31,320
Speaker 1: people that are in it still at the moment, what

913
00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:33,080
Speaker 1: advice would you have for me?

914
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:36,240
Speaker 3: I think the thing that really helped me was starting

915
00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:40,680
Speaker 3: to view foods as just something that you need, just

916
00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:44,600
Speaker 3: all foods. So you need to give your body nutrition

917
00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:47,200
Speaker 3: to function and to use your brain properly, like we

918
00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:51,839
Speaker 3: were saying before. So not seeing foods as good and bad.

919
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:54,760
Speaker 3: So chocolate is not a bad foods. Chocolate is amazing,

920
00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:58,640
Speaker 3: chocolates great, We love chocolate. So you stop seeing it

921
00:41:58,719 --> 00:42:00,480
Speaker 3: as something that's really bad that you shouldn't have and

922
00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:03,239
Speaker 3: you should restrict. If I restrict anything from my diet,

923
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:06,200
Speaker 3: I know that in ten days time I will go

924
00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:08,440
Speaker 3: really hard on it because I've missed it.

925
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:10,959
Speaker 1: It's the purple elephant in the room story exactly. Don't

926
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:11,839
Speaker 1: think about the purple alps.

927
00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:14,120
Speaker 2: You want it more if you can't have it.

928
00:42:14,239 --> 00:42:17,120
Speaker 3: So I literally there's nothing I've restricted from my diet

929
00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:19,279
Speaker 3: except for dairy because dairy is not good for my

930
00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:21,640
Speaker 3: tommy or my skin. But there is nothing else that

931
00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:24,359
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm not going to have that because that's

932
00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:26,239
Speaker 3: going to make me fat or that's going to make

933
00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:30,879
Speaker 3: me you know, I don't know, just heavier or whatever

934
00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:34,960
Speaker 3: it is. I don't think like that anymore. So I

935
00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:37,520
Speaker 3: eat my meals. I eat my breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

936
00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:40,000
Speaker 3: I take time, I sit down, like mindful eating. I

937
00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:42,520
Speaker 3: make sure that I'm taking the time to have my meals.

938
00:42:42,600 --> 00:42:44,560
Speaker 1: Which look amazing on the gram by the way, Oh.

939
00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:46,319
Speaker 2: I love cooking. I used to hate cooking too.

940
00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:48,920
Speaker 3: I think like I've sort of got this really good

941
00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:51,080
Speaker 3: relationship with food now where I just appreciate it so

942
00:42:51,239 --> 00:42:54,440
Speaker 3: much so taking the time to plan my meals and

943
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:57,160
Speaker 3: set up, you know, time to sit down and enjoy it.

944
00:42:57,440 --> 00:42:59,239
Speaker 3: If I'm really busy at work, like a speech day,

945
00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:01,120
Speaker 3: I'll still make sure that I've got my food there

946
00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:02,759
Speaker 3: and I'll eat it over a period of time. But

947
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:04,480
Speaker 3: I because I know that if I don't eat my

948
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:07,640
Speaker 3: lunch then later that's when I'm more likely to binge

949
00:43:07,719 --> 00:43:09,840
Speaker 3: or something. Yeah, but honestly, I can't even tell you

950
00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:11,759
Speaker 3: the last time I did that, because this has just

951
00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:16,520
Speaker 3: become such a regular habit and behavior that I eat

952
00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:19,239
Speaker 3: my meals and if I feel like having an ice cream,

953
00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:20,719
Speaker 3: I'm going to have that ice cream. I'm going to

954
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:22,439
Speaker 3: enjoy it, and I'm not going to feel bad about

955
00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:25,360
Speaker 3: it and does it takes a really long time, it

956
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:28,360
Speaker 3: does to get to that point. And because I was

957
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:31,440
Speaker 3: bleaming for a long time too, like I lost that control.

958
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:34,320
Speaker 3: I used to binge and purge and it was awful.

959
00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:36,120
Speaker 2: It was awful.

960
00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:38,879
Speaker 3: And having that feeling of you know, when you're eating

961
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:41,719
Speaker 3: and you just feel like you can't stop yourself. I

962
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:43,680
Speaker 3: went through that for a really long time, So it did.

963
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:45,839
Speaker 3: I'm not saying this is going to you know, you're

964
00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:47,520
Speaker 3: not going to be able to fix it in a minute,

965
00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:49,920
Speaker 3: but there are lots of great resources out there to

966
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:51,799
Speaker 3: help with this. But that is the thing that helps

967
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:54,520
Speaker 3: me the most is just being kind to yourself and

968
00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:57,040
Speaker 3: not viewing food as good and bad.

969
00:43:57,440 --> 00:44:01,200
Speaker 1: Yeah. I love saying that it's something we need as

970
00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:03,759
Speaker 1: opposed to I want that thing. It's like, well, no,

971
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:04,640
Speaker 1: this is a fuel.

972
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:08,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I hate like so many people, particularly in

973
00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:13,040
Speaker 3: our industry, to be honest, have these damaging.

974
00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:15,040
Speaker 2: Thoughts and comments.

975
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:17,640
Speaker 3: Like people will always say if we're at an event

976
00:44:17,719 --> 00:44:20,240
Speaker 3: and someone has a cocktail orthough maybe they have three cocktails,

977
00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:22,160
Speaker 3: They're like, oh, I better go for a big run tomorrow.

978
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:24,239
Speaker 3: Everyone has that mindset of like oh if I eat

979
00:44:24,320 --> 00:44:26,040
Speaker 3: that then I've got to burn it off. I just

980
00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:28,759
Speaker 3: don't view it like that. I exercise. Exercising for me

981
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:32,600
Speaker 3: is now completely separate to my food. Same my exercise

982
00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:35,759
Speaker 3: is for my mental health. It's not to burn off calories,

983
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:38,120
Speaker 3: and it's not to look a certain way. And once

984
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:42,480
Speaker 3: you stop viewing exercise as that, you have a different

985
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:45,520
Speaker 3: relationship with exercise, and once you stop viewing food as

986
00:44:47,239 --> 00:44:50,200
Speaker 3: something that you shouldn't have, it changes everything as well.

987
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:52,799
Speaker 1: I think I saw even on your Instagram you did

988
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:54,600
Speaker 1: a Q and A last night and someone said like,

989
00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:56,160
Speaker 1: how do you go with exercise, and you're like, it's

990
00:44:56,239 --> 00:44:58,360
Speaker 1: for my mental health? Like, I do it because it

991
00:44:58,440 --> 00:44:58,719
Speaker 1: makes me.

992
00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:01,360
Speaker 3: And if I'm setting goal with my exercise, it is

993
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:04,919
Speaker 3: never I don't. I haven't waived myself in say five years,

994
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:07,640
Speaker 3: I think, which is tricky sometimes. You know, there were

995
00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:10,880
Speaker 3: recently we got asked to do something in a helicopter

996
00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:12,640
Speaker 3: and that my manager was like, oh, I need you weight,

997
00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:14,120
Speaker 3: and I was like, couldn't tell you dah. And I'm

998
00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:16,440
Speaker 3: not going to get on a scale because I know

999
00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:18,640
Speaker 3: that's triggering for me. So we just made up a number.

1000
00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:23,279
Speaker 3: Probably shouldn't tell pilot's already on that, but I think

1001
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:27,080
Speaker 3: it was roughly but but but yeah, don't weigh myself.

1002
00:45:27,239 --> 00:45:29,400
Speaker 3: So any goals that I set with exercise, it'll be

1003
00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:33,280
Speaker 3: getting faster with my runs, running a longer distance, lifting

1004
00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:38,400
Speaker 3: a heavier weight, doing more reps. It's never about my

1005
00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:43,120
Speaker 3: weight or getting apps or toning up whatever. If you

1006
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:48,239
Speaker 3: do that, you're just going to disappoint yourself. So I think, yeah,

1007
00:45:48,320 --> 00:45:50,600
Speaker 3: setting different goals it helps so much.

1008
00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:54,880
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for kind of like not even mentalizing.

1009
00:45:54,920 --> 00:45:58,680
Speaker 1: You've just restructured the way that we can not just

1010
00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:02,880
Speaker 1: enjoy food, but like the way in which we can

1011
00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 1: consume food. Like I tell people everyone, A lot of

1012
00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:08,840
Speaker 1: people say to me in my books, what are the

1013
00:46:08,880 --> 00:46:11,600
Speaker 1: calories of that? And what are the macros micros? And

1014
00:46:11,640 --> 00:46:13,239
Speaker 1: I said, I don't believe in it, so I will

1015
00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:15,960
Speaker 1: never be including them. I'm like, it's got whole foods,

1016
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:17,880
Speaker 1: and the body is going to know what to do

1017
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:18,720
Speaker 1: with those foods.

1018
00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:22,840
Speaker 3: It becomes a really obsessive thing. If you start counting,

1019
00:46:23,719 --> 00:46:27,640
Speaker 3: there's just I think it's so damaging. So I never

1020
00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:28,400
Speaker 3: look at that stuff.

1021
00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:29,640
Speaker 2: Oh you're so good.

1022
00:46:30,120 --> 00:46:32,399
Speaker 1: It's so good. And one last thing just for people

1023
00:46:32,440 --> 00:46:35,680
Speaker 1: out there that are like you, are so creative, and

1024
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:39,160
Speaker 1: I think that a lot of people. Really it's really

1025
00:46:39,239 --> 00:46:41,480
Speaker 1: easy to let go of your heart when you're in

1026
00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:43,400
Speaker 1: something like an eating disorder or you're getting through a

1027
00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:45,279
Speaker 1: mental health thing, and you're just like, Okay, i'm going

1028
00:46:45,320 --> 00:46:46,480
Speaker 1: to after I hear this, I'm going to go to

1029
00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:48,560
Speaker 1: a therapist. I'm going to make that change. But I

1030
00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:52,279
Speaker 1: feel like when you feed also the creativity part of

1031
00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:55,880
Speaker 1: your life, it does something almost I don't want to

1032
00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:57,400
Speaker 1: sound hippy and woo woo, but it does something to

1033
00:46:57,480 --> 00:47:00,239
Speaker 1: your heart. And just for people that like, like I

1034
00:47:00,360 --> 00:47:02,000
Speaker 1: know most, but I think all humans have got some

1035
00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:03,560
Speaker 1: form of creativity.

1036
00:47:03,160 --> 00:47:03,960
Speaker 2: Definitely in them.

1037
00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:08,239
Speaker 1: And just like with drawing and the book that I've

1038
00:47:08,280 --> 00:47:09,959
Speaker 1: given you, by the way, I drew the whole back page,

1039
00:47:10,080 --> 00:47:11,399
Speaker 1: but to show you, I'm going to show you when

1040
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:14,440
Speaker 1: we finish. But it does something like I think it

1041
00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:16,880
Speaker 1: heals the heart in a really weird way. And I

1042
00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:19,840
Speaker 1: know this isn't psychology right now, but no, I get that,

1043
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:21,920
Speaker 1: And this is a really weird rounded way of asking

1044
00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:23,759
Speaker 1: this question. But for people that just are like I

1045
00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:28,280
Speaker 1: need to do something positive just for me. Is rawing

1046
00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:29,480
Speaker 1: that for you? And painting?

1047
00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:32,120
Speaker 3: I think so, Yeah, I think creating something, there's something

1048
00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:35,640
Speaker 3: about the process and then finishing something off like and

1049
00:47:35,719 --> 00:47:38,560
Speaker 3: I've actually heard like a carpenter talk about this. It's

1050
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:41,160
Speaker 3: like having a project or a builder, like seeing something

1051
00:47:41,239 --> 00:47:44,600
Speaker 3: that you planned to do and then you lived through it,

1052
00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:47,880
Speaker 3: you made it, and then to have the finished product

1053
00:47:47,920 --> 00:47:49,960
Speaker 3: on the other end, like it's really satisfying and it's

1054
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:51,640
Speaker 3: really cool, and then you can show people and be like,

1055
00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:53,640
Speaker 3: well I did this and be proud of yourself. And

1056
00:47:53,719 --> 00:47:55,840
Speaker 3: it might be knitting a scarf, or it might be

1057
00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:59,320
Speaker 3: I don't know, doing crochet or doing pottery or just

1058
00:47:59,400 --> 00:48:01,719
Speaker 3: anything like that. I feel like there's so much you

1059
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:05,120
Speaker 3: can get so much from creating something and also just

1060
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:07,960
Speaker 3: enjoying the process. Yeah, I love it so Yeah. Having

1061
00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:10,120
Speaker 3: time to paint is such a luxury that I am

1062
00:48:10,320 --> 00:48:10,960
Speaker 3: loving right now.

1063
00:48:11,080 --> 00:48:13,680
Speaker 1: You've inspired me to go back to just just even

1064
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:17,120
Speaker 1: like little things that are just for me creatively.

1065
00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:20,000
Speaker 3: And also putting on like an audiobook or a podcast, yeah,

1066
00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:22,640
Speaker 3: or having Netflix playing in the background while you're doing

1067
00:48:22,719 --> 00:48:26,560
Speaker 3: something like that. It's just honestly, it's like my ben. Yeah,

1068
00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:29,479
Speaker 3: it's my heaven and you my friend to heaven.

1069
00:48:29,560 --> 00:48:32,200
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. You are such a wonderful soul.

1070
00:48:32,520 --> 00:48:33,880
Speaker 2: Like I said, could chat forever.

1071
00:48:34,719 --> 00:48:39,920
Speaker 1: Particularly, this was unreal. Guys. Please check out the wonderful

1072
00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:44,200
Speaker 1: Olivia Molly Rogers. She's a beam of bright light.

1073
00:48:44,480 --> 00:48:45,640
Speaker 2: Ba jem. Thank you.

1074
00:48:48,040 --> 00:48:53,680
Speaker 1: That's a wrap on another episode of Fearlessly Failing. As always,

1075
00:48:53,840 --> 00:48:57,200
Speaker 1: thank you to our guests, and let's continue the conversation

1076
00:48:57,400 --> 00:49:03,120
Speaker 1: on Instagram. I'm att Yamo Lollaberry. This potty my word

1077
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:07,920
Speaker 1: for podcast is available on all streaming platforms. I'd love

1078
00:49:07,960 --> 00:49:10,960
Speaker 1: it if you could subscribe, rate and comment and of

1079
00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:12,640
Speaker 1: course spread the love.