1 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:09,600 Speaker 1: A book review that might have just changed our family 2 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:12,920 Speaker 1: for the better in the most significant way when it 3 00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:19,640 Speaker 1: comes to fussy eating, and imagine the kids gleefully, willingly, 4 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:22,680 Speaker 1: delightedly joining you in the kitchen to clean up the 5 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:26,800 Speaker 1: dinner time mess. Hello and welcome to the Happy Families Podcast, 6 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:31,200 Speaker 1: Real Parenting Solutions. Every day on Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast. 7 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:33,960 Speaker 1: We are Justin and Kylie Coulson. This is the day 8 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,599 Speaker 1: where we unpack the week that was. We look at 9 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:38,960 Speaker 1: what worked and what didn't, and we try to share 10 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:41,200 Speaker 1: with you a take home message to help your family 11 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:44,120 Speaker 1: be happier. Kylie, today you're going to kick us off 12 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:47,519 Speaker 1: with well a book review, because this may just have 13 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:50,960 Speaker 1: changed the game for our fussy eating ten year old. 14 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:53,720 Speaker 2: Did you know your tummy is alive? 15 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:57,400 Speaker 1: You tell me often that it makes a lot of noise. 16 00:00:57,920 --> 00:01:01,880 Speaker 2: You have trillions of friends inside, not your school friends, 17 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:04,200 Speaker 2: silly bacteria friends. 18 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:06,520 Speaker 1: It sounds to me like you're reading a children's book. 19 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:10,560 Speaker 2: I am, I am. This book was sent to you recently. 20 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:14,399 Speaker 2: It's called The Friends You Don't Know You Have by 21 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:19,200 Speaker 2: Laney and Jordan Oldfield. Their teenage daughter Lylah actually illustrated 22 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:24,880 Speaker 2: these beautiful animations throughout the pages. And it's actually the 23 00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:28,520 Speaker 2: first book in a series of books on gut health 24 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:32,880 Speaker 2: for children, so aimed at ten years and younger, and 25 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:38,800 Speaker 2: it's beautifully illustrated, and it simply explains to children at 26 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:43,000 Speaker 2: their level the special gut friends that they have in 27 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:47,240 Speaker 2: their tummy and how they can access the superpowers that 28 00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:51,480 Speaker 2: these bacteria give our body for healthy wellbeing and living. 29 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:53,840 Speaker 2: So you had it sitting on your floor in the 30 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:55,000 Speaker 2: office four weeks. 31 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:58,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, literally, it's a kid's book. I just thought if 32 00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:00,880 Speaker 1: I leave it there, it's big, it's colorful. Emily will 33 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:02,840 Speaker 1: eventually pick it up and have a look at it, 34 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:04,400 Speaker 1: or she won't. I did point it out to her 35 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:07,760 Speaker 1: once or twice, but no pressure, because I don't want to. 36 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:10,960 Speaker 2: The reality is if we had have come in and said, 37 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:11,760 Speaker 2: em let's sit down. 38 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:13,160 Speaker 1: And read here, there's a book that you need to 39 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:16,600 Speaker 1: read about your fussy eating. 40 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:18,400 Speaker 2: No way we would have had any buying whatsoever. But 41 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:22,040 Speaker 2: what I love about just even that acknowledgment is that 42 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:25,760 Speaker 2: our kids. We prime our kids all the time by 43 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:29,760 Speaker 2: leaving things within their view. This took weeks for her 44 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:34,200 Speaker 2: to actually pick up, but when she did, she was hooked. 45 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:36,640 Speaker 2: She picked it up. She started flicking through the pages 46 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:39,920 Speaker 2: and she realized, hmm, I could read this book. She 47 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:41,720 Speaker 2: took it away in about half an hour later, she 48 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:44,200 Speaker 2: came back and she said, Mum, do you know I've 49 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:46,800 Speaker 2: got friends in my tummy? And I said really, and 50 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:50,320 Speaker 2: she said, and they have names. There's Lacey, Biffy see her, 51 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:53,520 Speaker 2: and Strappy and did you know there's certain foods that 52 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:56,919 Speaker 2: make them super happy. So she started telling me the 53 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,400 Speaker 2: kinds of foods they like. She told me that Lacey 54 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:02,840 Speaker 2: was her favorite for it, and that Lacey's favorite foods 55 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:08,560 Speaker 2: with vegimite sour dough bread, kim butcher, brown rice, sweet potato, 56 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:13,600 Speaker 2: rolled oats, sour kraut, popcorn, and beetroot. Those when you 57 00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:18,000 Speaker 2: listed it off like that, popcorns probably the safest bet, right, 58 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:20,959 Speaker 2: She se vegimite, but she doesn't like it a lot 59 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:24,400 Speaker 2: these days. But her big sister has started making sour 60 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:27,160 Speaker 2: dough bread, so she found that was actually a really 61 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:30,880 Speaker 2: easy addition to add to her diet. So she only 62 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,360 Speaker 2: has a small piece, but she decided that she'd start 63 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:36,520 Speaker 2: trying sour dough with some vegimite on it, and the 64 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:40,480 Speaker 2: book obviously then goes through the other bacteria and the 65 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,720 Speaker 2: foods that they like. But what I love about it 66 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:45,480 Speaker 2: is at the end it says, if food is what 67 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 2: they want, then food is what they'll get. Let's choose 68 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:51,880 Speaker 2: one new food from each friend's favorite foodless and give 69 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:54,000 Speaker 2: it a world this week. So it kind of provides 70 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,160 Speaker 2: a little bit of a challenge. So I didn't have 71 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,800 Speaker 2: to say anything. The book did all the work for me. 72 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,920 Speaker 2: She pulled up list and she said, Okay, Mom, I'm 73 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:08,000 Speaker 2: going to try pomegranites, sour dough, olfalfa is sprouts, and 74 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:09,800 Speaker 2: I can't remember the other food off the top of 75 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:13,680 Speaker 2: my head now. And she actually did it without me 76 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:17,720 Speaker 2: having to have anks with her or you know, bribe 77 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:20,600 Speaker 2: her or challenge her or anything like that. This one 78 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:22,960 Speaker 2: book has opened her eyes to the fact that there 79 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:24,839 Speaker 2: are things that she can do to help her body 80 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:29,200 Speaker 2: be healthier and to feel better, and she's done it. 81 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,599 Speaker 1: I was blown away when she sat down at the 82 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:34,279 Speaker 1: table to eat with us. She one of the challenges 83 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:36,560 Speaker 1: with kids that don't want to eat the foods that 84 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:38,680 Speaker 1: you're putting out is you kind of feel well. They 85 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:40,040 Speaker 1: don't want to eat anyth because they don't want to 86 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:42,560 Speaker 1: eat our meals. But she's pretty happy to eat a 87 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:45,200 Speaker 1: whole lot of foods. She just likes them to look 88 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:48,800 Speaker 1: like a Bento box on her plate, mixed. But she 89 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:50,880 Speaker 1: sat down the other day with like half a plate 90 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:54,160 Speaker 1: of alfalfa sprouts, which is I'm the only one in 91 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:55,880 Speaker 1: the house that eats them, and I kind of like 92 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 1: the fact that they're there whenever I need them. And 93 00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:59,960 Speaker 1: I can't get access to the alfalfa sprouts anymore because 94 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,440 Speaker 1: she keeps on eating all the sprouts. We need to 95 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:05,080 Speaker 1: start growing them. But clearly the book has had an impact. 96 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:08,120 Speaker 1: Like you said, it's one in a series The Friends 97 00:05:08,279 --> 00:05:10,599 Speaker 1: You Don't Know You Have by Laney and Jordan Oldfield, 98 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:12,680 Speaker 1: So we'll link to that in the show notes. The 99 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:16,400 Speaker 1: real take home message is force creates resistance. Yeah, like, 100 00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:19,039 Speaker 1: if you try and make your kids eat as we 101 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:21,599 Speaker 1: have tried for so many years, if. 102 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:24,320 Speaker 2: I had to put ol falv sprouts on her plate unannounced, 103 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:25,839 Speaker 2: holy smokes. 104 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,359 Speaker 1: Yeah. But instead she reads it in the book and 105 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:31,039 Speaker 1: she's willing to give it a crack. And because she 106 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,920 Speaker 1: feels like she's in the driver's seat of her diet. 107 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:37,520 Speaker 1: Just a massive, massive shift over the last week or So. 108 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:39,600 Speaker 2: So I guess there's a couple of take homes. I mean, obviously, 109 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:43,680 Speaker 2: there's the acknowledgment that if we find good resources for 110 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,560 Speaker 2: our kids, they can actually be the teachers without us 111 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:47,679 Speaker 2: having to be. Yeah. 112 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:50,000 Speaker 1: Yeah. Secondly, and she did, didn't she? I mean, she 113 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:54,119 Speaker 1: really wanted to teach you about what her gut needs. Yeah. 114 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:57,880 Speaker 2: But secondly, sometimes it takes time, and the more we 115 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:00,960 Speaker 2: pressure and the more we force things, the less likely 116 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,760 Speaker 2: we are to have positive outcomes. But just priming our 117 00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:07,360 Speaker 2: kids by leaving a book around that will eventually pique 118 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:11,520 Speaker 2: their interests, or have it open, even on your coffee 119 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:15,240 Speaker 2: table somewhere where they can see it multiple times before 120 00:06:15,279 --> 00:06:17,840 Speaker 2: it actually they go oh, hang in a sec. So 121 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:21,320 Speaker 2: my take home message is twofold Number one, if you 122 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:25,240 Speaker 2: can find a resource that will do your job, the 123 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:27,720 Speaker 2: children are probably going to listen to it much more. 124 00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:30,440 Speaker 1: Especially if you can then if they willingly come to 125 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:31,799 Speaker 1: you and say, hey, look what I learn. 126 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:35,359 Speaker 2: That's exactly yeah. And number two, sometimes it takes the 127 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:38,320 Speaker 2: help of mum and dad to strategically place things in 128 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:42,000 Speaker 2: their children's path for them to be able to take 129 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:43,760 Speaker 2: from it the things that we need them to. 130 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:47,440 Speaker 1: Up next how you can get the kids actively, willingly 131 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 1: and fully engaged in cleaning up the kitchen after dinner. Okay, Kylie, 132 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:01,919 Speaker 1: you've had tremendous success with our daughter and her gut friends, 133 00:07:02,279 --> 00:07:04,920 Speaker 1: friends that she doesn't know that she has. I had 134 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:06,839 Speaker 1: a big win this week. This is something that we've 135 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:10,480 Speaker 1: done consistently through the years, but I wanted to reemphasize 136 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:12,720 Speaker 1: it in today's I'll Do Better Tomorrow because it was 137 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:18,080 Speaker 1: just so delightfully impactful. I just had the coolest experience. 138 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:24,600 Speaker 1: We have talked about regularly doing chores, tasks, family responsibilities together, 139 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:29,120 Speaker 1: and we've often discussed this idea of all in all 140 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:32,640 Speaker 1: in means we're all in the kitchen, or we're all 141 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:35,560 Speaker 1: in the garden weeding, or we're all in whatever space 142 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:39,560 Speaker 1: it is that needs cleaning up. Our second eldest daughter 143 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:43,880 Speaker 1: created a game years ago, and they've decided it's a 144 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:45,400 Speaker 1: terrible name for the game. We've got to come up 145 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 1: with something better for it. But the kids call it 146 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:50,400 Speaker 1: word association. All they do is they come up with 147 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:55,000 Speaker 1: a theme and then while they're doing the dishes or 148 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:59,280 Speaker 1: doing whatever task or responsibility is theirs, they have to 149 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:01,920 Speaker 1: come up with in order as many songs as they 150 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,520 Speaker 1: possibly can that refer to that theme. 151 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:08,120 Speaker 2: So when you say in order, they take turns in order. 152 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,760 Speaker 1: So yeah, so it's Abby, then it's Annie, then it's Lily, 153 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,800 Speaker 1: then it's back to Abby again or whoever's in the 154 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:13,600 Speaker 1: kitchen doing it. 155 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:18,160 Speaker 2: And the person who the person who is the first 156 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:21,840 Speaker 2: one to not be able to add to the list 157 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:22,920 Speaker 2: is they're out. 158 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:25,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, And sometimes I mean I find the game annoying 159 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:28,360 Speaker 1: because they want to do like songs on the Wicked soundtrack. 160 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:30,440 Speaker 1: It's like, well, how many songs are on the Wicked soundtrack? 161 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:32,120 Speaker 1: And since you are on know the Wicked soundtrack off 162 00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:34,000 Speaker 1: by heart, this is going to be a pretty boring game. 163 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,800 Speaker 1: They do or Taylor Swift, they'll do Taylor Swift songs 164 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:37,320 Speaker 1: and then they'll. 165 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:40,960 Speaker 2: Just do Disney or they'll do songs. 166 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:44,040 Speaker 1: And it's like, no, there's bajillions of those songs, and 167 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:48,200 Speaker 1: and I don't know just that annoys me. It annoys me. 168 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,120 Speaker 1: But the other night I decided that I was going 169 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:52,040 Speaker 1: to play word association with them because there was a 170 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:54,000 Speaker 1: big clean up in the kitchen that was required, and 171 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:55,840 Speaker 1: I knew that we needed to pull out all stops, 172 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:58,760 Speaker 1: and so they wanted to do love, and I'm like, 173 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:01,559 Speaker 1: you do love all the time, and there's bajillion love songs. 174 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:07,200 Speaker 1: What about transportation? Modes of transportation? Could we do a 175 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:11,280 Speaker 1: word association song list modes of transportation? And the kids 176 00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:15,599 Speaker 1: are like, that's bored. Yeah, like they really complained. We 177 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,800 Speaker 1: cleaned the kitchen and the dining room and the rest 178 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,720 Speaker 1: of the house and you were still going for about 179 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,480 Speaker 1: forty minutes. It was still going. 180 00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:25,280 Speaker 2: And what was really cool. It's one of the first 181 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:29,440 Speaker 2: times fun Emily has joined in. Yeah, it was really cool, 182 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:31,640 Speaker 2: and she came up with some great songs. 183 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:34,760 Speaker 1: There are so many songs that involve modes of transportation. 184 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:36,280 Speaker 1: One of the first ones that Emily came up with 185 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:39,400 Speaker 1: was I would walk five hundred miles. But the thing is, 186 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:41,880 Speaker 1: as soon as someone says the song, the whole family 187 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:46,200 Speaker 1: just bursts into songs. Yeap, And I mean the neighbors 188 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:47,880 Speaker 1: must think what in the world is going on in 189 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:51,000 Speaker 1: that house because every fifteen seconds there's a new song. 190 00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:54,840 Speaker 1: But it's just so simple and it's so much fun, 191 00:09:55,040 --> 00:10:00,400 Speaker 1: and it makes the task completely invisible. They're all in 192 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:02,400 Speaker 1: the kitchen and yeah, we're doing the dishes, but no 193 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:05,680 Speaker 1: one's thinking about the dishes, everyone's thinking about the game, and. 194 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:07,840 Speaker 2: No one's fighting because they're too busy singing. 195 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:09,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, unless they're fighting about whether or not that song 196 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:11,040 Speaker 1: really does fit the theme. 197 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:13,800 Speaker 2: Well that was only you, that's true. 198 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:16,120 Speaker 1: I do get a big competitive around this stuff. Former 199 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,240 Speaker 1: radio announcing here, we need to make sure that everything fits. 200 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:20,520 Speaker 1: But it's so funny as well, because especially when you've 201 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:23,320 Speaker 1: got teenagers, they know every song lyric to, every song 202 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:26,280 Speaker 1: that's important to them. And so I thought I was 203 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:28,840 Speaker 1: really clever. I came up with Ed Sheeran when he's 204 00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:31,200 Speaker 1: got that. I'm on my way driving at ninety listening 205 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,800 Speaker 1: to Tiny Dancer that the Castle on Hill song, you 206 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:35,760 Speaker 1: know the one. I felt like I was so clever 207 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:38,000 Speaker 1: for coming up with that one. And then these kids, 208 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:41,640 Speaker 1: they're singing this song with the most obscure reference to 209 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:45,840 Speaker 1: a car or to to whatever. So much fun, so 210 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:50,880 Speaker 1: much laughter, and it made doing a really big job 211 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:56,560 Speaker 1: delightful rather than drudgery. So my take home message literally 212 00:10:56,600 --> 00:11:00,520 Speaker 1: is create games, make up your own games, have fun, 213 00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:04,240 Speaker 1: steal our games. Doesn't really matter. When you get in 214 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:07,200 Speaker 1: there and you do stuff together, and when you're having 215 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:11,080 Speaker 1: fun and playing games, the chore kind of disappears into 216 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:15,320 Speaker 1: invisibility because it's really about time together now rather than 217 00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:18,760 Speaker 1: getting the kitchen tidy. So therefore, we really hope that 218 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:20,840 Speaker 1: the ideas that we shared with you today will help 219 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:22,680 Speaker 1: to make your family happier. We will link to the 220 00:11:22,679 --> 00:11:25,920 Speaker 1: book The Friends You Don't Know You Have in the 221 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:29,120 Speaker 1: show notes, and I don't know good like playing Word 222 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:31,440 Speaker 1: Associations or some other game that works for you and 223 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:34,600 Speaker 1: your family when you next have to do some chores 224 00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:38,920 Speaker 1: and carry out all those housekeeping responsibilities. The Happy Families 225 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:42,000 Speaker 1: podcast is produced by Justin Roland from Bridge Media. For 226 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:45,800 Speaker 1: more information and resources about making your family happier, please 227 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:48,520 Speaker 1: visit us at happy families dot com dot au and 228 00:11:48,559 --> 00:11:49,360 Speaker 1: have a great weekend.