Speaker 1: Ordinarily speaking, I used to be ashamed of me A
Speaker 1: kiddn't care now I couldn't be proud of who I
Speaker 1: am and to get my story out there.
Speaker 2: Some time.
Speaker 3: Hello and welcome to Ordinarily speaking, this is one of
Speaker 3: the most inspiring stories I've ever had the privilege to share.
Speaker 3: Sabrina Duffy has overcome an enormous amount in life to
Speaker 3: become one of the country's best footy players. She's played
Speaker 3: two seasons of AFLW and made the All Australian squad
Speaker 3: both times. Sad was an integral part of Fremantle's undefeated
Speaker 3: campaign in twenty twenty.
Speaker 2: She booted twelve.
Speaker 3: Goals, the most across the comp. All this and she's
Speaker 3: only just turned twenty. It's incredible, especially for a young
Speaker 3: woman who has lived in foster care her entire life.
Speaker 3: For the first time, sab has decided to share her
Speaker 3: story publicly. If this episode is a trigger for you,
Speaker 3: please remember there is help out there. Lifeline dot org
Speaker 3: dot au or kids Helpline dot com dot au.
Speaker 2: Are a couple of places you can go. I hope
Speaker 2: you enjoyed the chat.
Speaker 1: That well.
Speaker 3: Sabrina, thanks so much for joining me. I want to
Speaker 3: start by asking you, because you've you've got a really
Speaker 3: challenging story, You've had a really you know, challenging life,
Speaker 3: why do you want to tell your story today?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I guess thanks for having me. I just want
Speaker 1: to get my story out there and show kids and
Speaker 1: people of the community that they're not alone, that people,
Speaker 1: for alls, are human and we do have our own
Speaker 1: stories and our own up and downs, and that's I
Speaker 1: guess what makes us unique. And I guess if we
Speaker 1: can get the word out there, and I guess it
Speaker 1: will give people the confidence to then tell their other stories,
Speaker 1: which is amazing. And I guess, yeah, I just want
Speaker 1: to tell my story.
Speaker 2: What does footy mean to you?
Speaker 1: Foot is everything? FOOTI is a safe space for me
Speaker 1: in particular, I guess I have so much fun when
Speaker 1: I play footy and I feel happy and safe, which
Speaker 1: you know sometimes that you don't feel that when you're
Speaker 1: a teen or a child coming up if you have
Speaker 1: an adversity that I had in my life. But I
Speaker 1: guess footy I always had that, and it always was there,
Speaker 1: never never left me, and I guess it gave me
Speaker 1: a safe space to express myself and how I felt.
Speaker 1: And luckily I was good at it.
Speaker 3: So pretty damn good at it. You talk about adversity.
Speaker 3: We're going to step through these, but let's start at
Speaker 3: the start. Tell me about for you being a baby,
Speaker 3: what your life was.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so, I guess I started noticing when I was
Speaker 1: about kindie, pre primary, I was a bit different. So
Speaker 1: I grew up in a foster family. So I guess
Speaker 1: when I was at school and I would having Mother's Day,
Speaker 1: for example, when we would write Mother's Day cards, I
Speaker 1: would always write Bethy, which is my foster mum's name,
Speaker 1: I love it to bits, and all the other kids
Speaker 1: would write Mum. I didn't realize why I was a
Speaker 1: bit different, and I still saw my mum and dad,
Speaker 1: but I had two sets of parents. I guess I
Speaker 1: didn't really know why at the time. I just thought
Speaker 1: it was normal. So I guess, yeah, that's when I
Speaker 1: probably first realized that I was a bit different, and
Speaker 1: I took me a while to understand it. I guess.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So you were in foster care from pretty much
Speaker 3: day dight.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so since birth, I went to the lovely care
Speaker 1: of Bethy and Peter. I mean the world to me,
Speaker 1: angels from heaven. As I said, I got them tatoo
Speaker 1: their names sat on my arms. But yeah, I went
Speaker 1: there since birth, and my sisters also came with me,
Speaker 1: luckily to the same house.
Speaker 3: Yeah, tell me about your biological parents.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess they didn't really see the value of
Speaker 1: being parents. I guess you could say it's hard to
Speaker 1: break addiction, I guess, And yeah, I guess that's what
Speaker 1: kind of stood in their way. And they have those
Speaker 1: challenges that they face. And I guess I knew I
Speaker 1: was destined for bigger and better things in the world
Speaker 1: and chose to put myself on the front foot and yeah,
Speaker 1: really take hold of my own life and not be
Speaker 1: persuaded by the people's decisions. And yeah, so I guess
Speaker 1: they're just negative people I don't really want in my life.
Speaker 2: So yeah, what was your parents addiction?
Speaker 1: Drug addiction. Yeah, so they were in and out of
Speaker 1: prison for most of my childhood growing up, which was
Speaker 1: interesting to say the least. But yeah, so, yeah, drug addiction.
Speaker 1: So I guess that's why I will never live with them, thankfully,
Speaker 1: So I don't think i'd be in the position that
Speaker 1: I am in today.
Speaker 3: So tell me about how this came about. Because you're
Speaker 3: the youngest of three sisters, so you're older two sisters.
Speaker 2: And then you came along.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So my two sisters were in daycare. So my
Speaker 1: foster sister, she worked at the daycare that my two
Speaker 1: little sisters my big sisters were in, and one day
Speaker 1: my mum, biological mum, went to the daycare worker, who
Speaker 1: was my foster sister, and said, look, my kids are
Speaker 1: going to get taken away from me. Is there any
Speaker 1: chance you can have them? The girls really like you.
Speaker 1: So my foster sister ran down home to my foster parents'
Speaker 1: house and said, there's two adorable girls at the daycare.
Speaker 1: Can we take them home because they need a home.
Speaker 1: And my foster parents, being the people that they are,
Speaker 1: they didn't even hesitate to say no. They always give back,
Speaker 1: so yeah, they said yes, and then thankfully they took
Speaker 1: those my two sisters on and then little did they know,
Speaker 1: there was a third on the way. So out I
Speaker 1: popped and popped straight in with them with my sisters,
Speaker 1: which is a really blessing because most foster kids do
Speaker 1: get separated. So yeah, I'm forever grateful for that.
Speaker 2: So how old were your biological sisters at that time?
Speaker 1: Yeah, so s I was six and Samanthos five, so
Speaker 1: I mean three?
Speaker 3: So yeah, so six and three, and your mum's pregnant
Speaker 3: with you at the time, and you're now foster sister
Speaker 3: recognized as the urgency of the situation and asks her parents, Hey,
Speaker 3: can we take these two girls in?
Speaker 1: Yeah? She was sixteen, So I think that's pretty significant
Speaker 1: of the sixteen year old and even for my foster
Speaker 1: parents having no idea who these kids are, to take
Speaker 1: them on like that with no hesitation and just yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm there's no words to describe how thankful I am. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So you, as you get older, when did you realize
Speaker 3: your foster parents weren't your parents.
Speaker 1: I think I always had like an idea that they weren't.
Speaker 1: It would be quite embarrassing. Would be at the shops
Speaker 1: and the checkout lady would say, oh, you look just
Speaker 1: like your mum, and she wasn't actually my mom. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess I knew. I guess it clicked more so
Speaker 1: when I was about six or seven, my friend when
Speaker 1: I'd go for playdates and my friends and they would
Speaker 1: have mum and dads that they would call mom and
Speaker 1: dad and look like them, but I didn't, So I
Speaker 1: guess that's when it probably hit home, I guess, and
Speaker 1: I was a bit ashamed of who I was at
Speaker 1: the time and didn't really tell my friends or invite
Speaker 1: them over because I didn't want them to know that
Speaker 1: I was a foster kid.
Speaker 2: So, yeah, how did that feel?
Speaker 1: At the time, I was a bit confused. I didn't
Speaker 1: really know what was going on. But then I think
Speaker 1: the more I understood it and the more I accepted
Speaker 1: it and was okay with it, I think the better
Speaker 1: it got. So my friends came around and they loved
Speaker 1: my foster parents, loves them, So I think, yeah, the
Speaker 1: more I was okay with it and accept it within
Speaker 1: myself and looked at it as a blessing rather than
Speaker 1: wishing I was normal, but there's actually no normal these days,
Speaker 1: is Yeah.
Speaker 3: So when you're growing up at that young age, your
Speaker 3: foster parents still let you have a relationship with your
Speaker 3: biological parents, what was that relationship like?
Speaker 1: Yeah, they always wanted me to be in contact with
Speaker 1: my parents. I think they're an ultimate goal was if
Speaker 1: they did ever get clean, that we would go back
Speaker 1: to them. They didn't obviously want to give us up,
Speaker 1: but they know what family means to people. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: it was a bit at the start. Mum was in
Speaker 1: and out when she felt like visiting, and my dad
Speaker 1: was every Sunday, so he, without a doubt, was at
Speaker 1: my Foster home every Sunday in the afternoon. So we
Speaker 1: would always walk down to the park and get fish
Speaker 1: and chips, and sometimes if he was feeling all right,
Speaker 1: he'd kick the foot of with me. Yeah, so it
Speaker 1: started off well when I was younger, but I guess
Speaker 1: as I got older and I was allowed to watch TV,
Speaker 1: and I was watching Border Security and all that, I
Speaker 1: could see the drugs and all that on the TV.
Speaker 1: So and then when I was visiting Mum, for example,
Speaker 1: in a unit and I saw the drugs on the table,
Speaker 1: I thought, this isn't right. So and then when I
Speaker 1: was yeah, so I just think that clicked to me
Speaker 1: and I thought, I don't want to see mom like that,
Speaker 1: and I don't want to end up seeing myself like that.
Speaker 1: So I made the conscious decision to cut contact because
Speaker 1: I really wanted to make my life better for itself.
Speaker 1: And I knew that I had a knack for sport.
Speaker 1: I didn't know which sport at that age. I picked
Speaker 1: up everything. But yeah, so I guess when I was
Speaker 1: about ten years older. I chose to cut contact with
Speaker 1: both of them.
Speaker 2: That must have been pretty tough.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was scary to say. Mom kind of gave up,
Speaker 1: but my dad was around, persistent for about three months.
Speaker 1: Really didn't understand why I didn't want to see him anymore.
Speaker 1: But my foster parents were supportive of me. They copped
Speaker 1: a fabitish slack from it, but they were really supportive
Speaker 1: of me and my decisions and moving forward. And they
Speaker 1: just told my biological dad how it was and they're
Speaker 1: so sorry that she's chosen this. But at the end
Speaker 1: of the day, it all came down what I needed
Speaker 1: and what I wanted in my life, and I guess
Speaker 1: ultimately I needed to make a name for myself and
Speaker 1: luckily I have.
Speaker 3: What was the moment like when you when you realized
Speaker 3: what the drugs were, what the paraphernalia was. What was
Speaker 3: that like for you as such a little kid.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it was. It was scary because I
Speaker 1: didn't obviously any kid that has their parents they idolized,
Speaker 1: and yeah, I want to want to have a good
Speaker 1: life like that, So I guess it was scary, But
Speaker 1: then I just thought it's an addiction and that's It's sad. Really,
Speaker 1: it's so hard to break. So I just had to
Speaker 1: accept it and kind of move on from it. Didn't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so it did hurt me for a little bit, but
Speaker 1: they are who they are. They can't they can't change
Speaker 1: that as long as like I can accept it and
Speaker 1: that's okay.
Speaker 3: You said your dad kept trying. Was that a good
Speaker 3: thing or how did that play out?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I think it was a good thing because it
Speaker 1: showed that he did care a little bit more than
Speaker 1: my mu. I suppose he still sends birthday cards every year,
Speaker 1: so yeah, I guess that did show that he did care.
Speaker 1: In the end, I don't know. I know he still
Speaker 1: loves me and he would do anything to see me again.
Speaker 1: But I just for my own mental health, it was
Speaker 1: I needed. It's what I needed to do. And I'm
Speaker 1: glad that I realized the age of ten that I
Speaker 1: did that, because I don't know where I would be
Speaker 1: if I didn't do that.
Speaker 2: It's a bloody big thing to go through as a
Speaker 2: ten year old.
Speaker 1: Yeah, people go through worse. I guess do they like this?
Speaker 1: This is not I think they do. I think I'm
Speaker 1: pretty lucky in the situation that I'm in to have
Speaker 1: the posterpharents so that I do them a whole entire world,
Speaker 1: like I love them to pieces and to be able
Speaker 1: to live with my sisters for example, most families don't
Speaker 1: get that. So I love my sisters so much and
Speaker 1: would do anything for them.
Speaker 2: So I guess, yeah, you're incredibly resilient.
Speaker 1: I just you always look at someone does have it worse,
Speaker 1: and it's it's people sometimes don't get into the foster
Speaker 1: care system. They're out there and living in their cars
Speaker 1: and stuff like that. So it's just a real blessing.
Speaker 1: And my foster parents are angels from heaven.
Speaker 3: How does that impact a person from that point growing up?
Speaker 1: I guess it shows me if, for example, if I'm
Speaker 1: ever to have a child, what that child needs and
Speaker 1: what they do need. So I can't wait to be
Speaker 1: a mom, like I really can't wait to or even
Speaker 1: to be. I've done a bit of youth work, so
Speaker 1: I have my youth work certificate, so even just to
Speaker 1: give back and give kids that safe space and that
Speaker 1: role model, because I knew I always had that safe space,
Speaker 1: but I didn't necessarily have that role model. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I just want to really be a role model for
Speaker 1: the younger kids and know that they're not alone. Was
Speaker 1: it scary, Oh, yeah, of course it's scary. But I
Speaker 1: always had my sport, so I think when I was ten,
Speaker 1: I was playing soccer at that time, so I always
Speaker 1: had my sport. I always had my next or neighbor.
Speaker 1: He was my best friend, so we always were outside
Speaker 1: playing whatever sport that we could.
Speaker 2: So your dad, Now, when was the last time you
Speaker 2: spoke to him?
Speaker 1: When I was ten?
Speaker 2: Yeah, nine years ago and your mom three years ago?
Speaker 1: I think it was yeah, more recent, but I hadn't
Speaker 1: been since I was ten until yeah.
Speaker 2: So what made you get back in touch with your mum?
Speaker 1: So she was in prison and I got a phone
Speaker 1: call that she was getting deported, so I thought.
Speaker 2: So she's from New Zealand originally.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I thought if I was in the same boat,
Speaker 1: I would want someone to be there for me. So
Speaker 1: I thought, I'm a forgiving person. I'd like to think
Speaker 1: I chose to forgive, and I went to see if
Speaker 1: she's all right and just had someone to talk to.
Speaker 1: And then I got a phone call a couple months
Speaker 1: later that she'd actually been granted to stay here in Perth,
Speaker 1: so that was a bit scary, so I thought this
Speaker 1: would be my last goodbye type thing. But yeah, she's
Speaker 1: now staying in here and well, from what I've heard,
Speaker 1: she's trying to get her life back on track. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm one hundred percent sure because I'm not in contact
Speaker 1: with her anymore.
Speaker 3: So when she stayed, was that were you sort of
Speaker 3: had you prepared yourself for her to be out of
Speaker 3: your life?
Speaker 1: Yeah? So I kind of had brought myself to be
Speaker 1: okay with it because I was a bit upset always
Speaker 1: always really loved my mum until I made that decision,
Speaker 1: so I think, yeah, I was propping myself. So then
Speaker 1: when she was told she could stay, I think it
Speaker 1: was a bit it was scary for me, but in
Speaker 1: a sense it was a relief as well, because you
Speaker 1: never know what could happen, and if she could never
Speaker 1: come back to the country, it's a bit sad. So yeah,
Speaker 1: so I think she's doing well for herself now, but
Speaker 1: I'm not entirely sure.
Speaker 2: What was she in prison for.
Speaker 1: Armed robbery? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Did you have a conversation with her around that time?
Speaker 1: Well, I think anyone who knows an addict, they don't
Speaker 1: really tend to depending on what they've done. They don't
Speaker 1: really want to come to terms with it. I guess
Speaker 1: because half the time they don't remember because they're under
Speaker 1: the influence. So we talked about it a bit, but she, yeah,
Speaker 1: didn't really have much of the right things to say.
Speaker 2: So how did you feel walking out of that conversation.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was a bit angry. I just want people
Speaker 1: to just really. I was willing to forgive, but she
Speaker 1: wasn't willing to own up to her actions. So there's
Speaker 1: no I don't lose sleep over it. I guess I tried.
Speaker 1: I did my part, they could. I was kind of
Speaker 1: acting like the mom when I shouldn't have been. I'm
Speaker 1: the kids. So yeah, I did my part, and I
Speaker 1: guess I just hope the best for her and hope
Speaker 1: that she can turn her life around.
Speaker 3: I know you talk about it because you've come to
Speaker 3: terms with the life that you've lived, You've had, you know,
Speaker 3: you've had to deal with a lot.
Speaker 2: I'm listening to you, and I know people are going
Speaker 2: to be listening to you. It's such a lot. Like,
Speaker 2: do you appreciate how much you've been put through?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think I've been put through that much.
Speaker 1: I think there's Yeah, I think there is kids that
Speaker 1: do have it worse. I was so privileged to being
Speaker 1: put in the house that I was in my foster
Speaker 1: parents on my whole entire world, like the every day
Speaker 1: have not missed a footy game, and they've flown to
Speaker 1: all my state troops. They've flown to all my away games. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they I just can't be so like, I'm so thankful
Speaker 1: to have my sisters. I have their names tattooed on
Speaker 1: me as well. Just to be able to grow up
Speaker 1: with them and have them in my corner was what
Speaker 1: most kids don't get. So I'm so grateful for that.
Speaker 3: You're listening to ordinarily speaking with Sabrina Duffy. Tell me
Speaker 3: about how it impacted your mental health.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there was some days, I guess. Being as young
Speaker 1: as I was, I didn't really accept who I was
Speaker 1: and what was going on. But as I got older
Speaker 1: and I come to terms with it, I could understand why.
Speaker 1: I had a lot of anger, so quite an angry
Speaker 1: child growing up. Nowadays, I'm quite calm, which is good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I have quite bad anxiety, I guess, and fear.
Speaker 1: I guess from some of my trauma from my childhood.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I know I'm in a very safe environment
Speaker 1: and FreeMat and fotball club was so accommodating to that
Speaker 1: and have everything in place that I need.
Speaker 4: Is the fear of abandonment at yeah, yes, and no,
Speaker 4: I know how loved I am by my family, but
Speaker 4: there is always that fear that some something could happen,
Speaker 4: or something could could turn and you could be left
Speaker 4: by by yourself.
Speaker 1: But I always know that I have my two sisters
Speaker 1: ma side if I do need them, which is good.
Speaker 2: Did you ever have those rebellious years given everything you
Speaker 2: went through?
Speaker 1: No, not really, just more anger with my sisters a lot,
Speaker 1: which I kind of regret doing.
Speaker 2: Now, what was the worst you did?
Speaker 1: Ah, threw a metal coaster at my sister. You laugh
Speaker 1: when you say that. I don't think so. They would
Speaker 1: always they were because they were always bigger than me.
Speaker 1: They were the big sisters. They would sit on top
Speaker 1: of me and fight on me and do everything sisters
Speaker 1: would do. So I got I said, no, I was
Speaker 1: at that age and I was a bit bigger in
Speaker 1: my body. I thought, no, I'm going to stick up
Speaker 1: for myself here. And then there was another time me
Speaker 1: and my sister got into a bit of a fight
Speaker 1: and she pushed me, so I said, nah, stood up.
Speaker 1: I said, I'm big, now stood up. I punched her
Speaker 1: back and I've actually broken broken fingers. So that was
Speaker 1: that was. I felt bad afterwards because but at the
Speaker 1: time I was just fired up. But now I look
Speaker 1: back on it, back on it, I probably shouldn't have
Speaker 1: done that. Do you.
Speaker 3: Did you and your sisters ever sit down and have
Speaker 3: hard conversations about everything.
Speaker 1: Not until I think we've all gotten a bit older.
Speaker 1: There were things growing up that I didn't see that
Speaker 1: they saw. Obviously, they were in the care of my
Speaker 1: biological apparance for the first early years of their life,
Speaker 1: so some things that I didn't quite understand, and they've
Speaker 1: probably had a lot less than I.
Speaker 2: Have, what sort of things.
Speaker 1: Obviously, just being in the care of people were addicts.
Speaker 1: I guess they weren't probably the first priority of my parents,
Speaker 1: which is sad, but credit to them. They're amazing young
Speaker 1: women now and my sister actually just had a baby,
Speaker 1: so it's pretty exciting. I love being an auntie. So yeah,
Speaker 1: they're amazing in the strength that they have. Really I
Speaker 1: did really look up to them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, when you reflect on it. Now, what was the
Speaker 2: hardest thing for you.
Speaker 1: Probably accepting that I wasn't normal as such, who my
Speaker 1: parents weren't, accepting that I was a foster kid, and
Speaker 1: I didn't necessarily call my foster parents mum and dad.
Speaker 1: I think that was a really big thing for me
Speaker 1: to accept because obviously you have all your friends at
Speaker 1: school that talk about their mum and dad, and I
Speaker 1: was a bit embarrassed. So I think when I did
Speaker 1: kind of accept that is when things did turn and
Speaker 1: I said, look, I'm quite advantage. I've got four sets
Speaker 1: of but I've got four parents, but no, and I
Speaker 1: think if I wasn't in foster care, who knows what
Speaker 1: could have happened. Who knows where I could have been.
Speaker 1: So I am very grateful for how things did pan out.
Speaker 3: Your foster parents that you smile when I bring them up.
Speaker 3: They were going through their own stuff when you came along.
Speaker 3: Tell me about that.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So they had a son, Alexander, who passed away
Speaker 1: a couple months I think before I was even born.
Speaker 1: And then obviously to be then asked to take on
Speaker 1: these kids is a huge ask. And they didn't even hesitate,
Speaker 1: which is really shows who their characters are, And if
Speaker 1: I could grow up to be half the person that
Speaker 1: those two people are, I would I would just be
Speaker 1: over the moon. And I just I think they've taught
Speaker 1: me to appreciate little things in life and to always
Speaker 1: give back. So my mom, she's even on the school
Speaker 1: board and we haven't been to that school in five years.
Speaker 1: She hasn't a kid enrolled in there in five years,
Speaker 1: and she's still of the school board. She's always helping
Speaker 1: out at the local church, so she goes to church
Speaker 1: every Sunday. She always shows us to give back and
Speaker 1: foster her daughter, Monica, who was the daycare worker for
Speaker 1: my sisters. She actually fosters her own kids now and
Speaker 1: Alice Springs, so she fosters. She had three little Indigenous boys,
Speaker 1: and now she has two Indigenous boys and an Indigenous girl,
Speaker 1: a teenage girl that she's just taken on. So very
Speaker 1: good people. They are pretty special, pretty special people, and
Speaker 1: I think sometimes I do take it for granted, being
Speaker 1: a moody teenager that I am. But yeah, definitely have
Speaker 1: been taught some really valuable life lessons.
Speaker 2: Do you know what happened to their son?
Speaker 1: Not really, I wasn't born. I just know that when
Speaker 1: I came there, I felt nothing but love. So my
Speaker 1: middle name is actually Alexander. It's named after him, So
Speaker 1: he's Alexander, I'm Alexandra. So that my biological mum did
Speaker 1: something right there and gave me that middle am to
Speaker 1: honor their son, which was pretty amazing.
Speaker 2: So your biological mum made that decision.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so that was pretty powerful.
Speaker 2: I think it's a pretty selfless thing that they've done.
Speaker 2: It's pretty special.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I don't know what I would do without them.
Speaker 1: I'd be a wreck. But they are just like my
Speaker 1: rock and I think my two sisters can voucher that
Speaker 1: as well. We would be lost without them. So yeah,
Speaker 1: they have really given us a different outlook on life,
Speaker 1: and they really did give us that second chance, I guess.
Speaker 2: Tell me about the day you were drafted.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I had everyone at the house, so my
Speaker 1: foster parents, my sisters, foster sisters, kids, everyone was at
Speaker 1: the house and there was a couple TV crews set
Speaker 1: up and when I heard my name called out, I
Speaker 1: just cried into my foster parents' arms. I think that
Speaker 1: they got that on film, which was pretty special, and
Speaker 1: they were over the moon. And if it really wasn't
Speaker 1: for them. Mum would not be drafted for sure, So
Speaker 1: I think it was pretty special to be able to
Speaker 1: share that moment with them all in the house.
Speaker 2: And you were a Freo fan for life, weren't you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was born and bred Freemantle, so we were
Speaker 1: Freemantle members. I can even remember the seat number in
Speaker 1: the row at subi Obles, so it was block one
Speaker 1: three one roast seats seats ten to fifteen, so as
Speaker 1: I'd sit, me and my foster dad sit on the
Speaker 1: end next to each other, and yeah, we'd be there
Speaker 1: every second week, would be there.
Speaker 2: What did he say to you the day you got drafted?
Speaker 1: I think he really cried more than I did. You know,
Speaker 1: he's a big softy. He's always up my games. Even
Speaker 1: when I played for Pill, he was always there every
Speaker 1: week with his Pill hat on, getting amongst it all.
Speaker 1: So I think he he was really happy for me.
Speaker 1: He always could see it. Even when there was days
Speaker 1: where I'd come home from training I'd be so exhausted
Speaker 1: and I think that I couldn't do it anymore. He
Speaker 1: would be the one there that would really push me
Speaker 1: to do it. So he is my biggest fan. I'd say,
Speaker 1: I am his profile picture and cover poat on Facebook.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I think he's really proud of me, which
Speaker 1: is which I've always wanted them to be proud of
Speaker 1: me for.
Speaker 2: Do I detect a little bit of emotion there?
Speaker 1: No, I'm good. I don't really. I'm not too nice
Speaker 1: to him. I probably didn't even want nice.
Speaker 2: What do you do to him?
Speaker 1: Oh? He just wants to talk. He's asking out my teammates.
Speaker 1: I want to ask how I'm gone. He just wants
Speaker 1: to all the boss. They're gems. They love it and
Speaker 1: they're so happy that I'm here at freend Antlean. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're really grateful for the support that the club has
Speaker 1: behind me.
Speaker 2: Did you your biological parents try and get in touch
Speaker 2: with you when you got drafted?
Speaker 1: Not as such. I don't think my dad made comments
Speaker 1: that he saw me on the news to one of
Speaker 1: my sisters. I think my mum tried to message me
Speaker 1: on Facebook. I'm not sure. I just deleted it, not really, thankfully.
Speaker 3: Do you hope one day to reconcile with them or
Speaker 3: is it just something that you've just moved on and
Speaker 3: that quarter has been cut.
Speaker 1: I think I'm pretty content. I'm out at the moment.
Speaker 1: I've done this on my own type thing. I've done
Speaker 1: it with my foster parents in my corner and my sisters.
Speaker 1: So I think I'm pretty content where I'm at the moment.
Speaker 1: Things change in the future. If I feel the need to,
Speaker 1: then by all means I will, But I feel at
Speaker 1: the moment, I'm pretty happy with where I'm at.
Speaker 2: And you spoke about your anxiety earlier.
Speaker 3: How did that impact you last year because it was
Speaker 3: there at a point where you were thinking about walking
Speaker 3: away from footy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so people don't really know. I'm quite an anxious person.
Speaker 1: So when I get all this social media followers and
Speaker 1: that he does, it's quite confronting. So he did. There
Speaker 1: was a stage where I thought that it was getting
Speaker 1: too much. But the docors, honestly, they have supported me
Speaker 1: so much through this process and I can't thank them enough.
Speaker 1: Like there's no other club that I would rather be at.
Speaker 1: So I think that's what got me through that. And
Speaker 1: my parents.
Speaker 2: Yeah, tell me about the moment that you thought I
Speaker 2: want to give it up.
Speaker 1: I think I was just having one of those days
Speaker 1: that you go through sometimes and then yeah, and then
Speaker 1: I had some really good support from the AHLPA and
Speaker 1: so she's me really well and Springer. So he's a
Speaker 1: boxing coach down at the club, so he I went
Speaker 1: and saw him three times a week at his gym,
Speaker 1: and he was just we'd go out and get smoothies
Speaker 1: and stuff. He was just a really good mentor for
Speaker 1: me and someone away from the club, I guess. So
Speaker 1: he'll still be at the club during the season, but
Speaker 1: in the off season he was just really there for
Speaker 1: me and then obviously my partner having someone to come
Speaker 1: home to I go when I needed it, which was good.
Speaker 3: So when you got back to the footy club this year,
Speaker 3: did it feel different?
Speaker 1: Yeah? It did because I felt like I belonged. I
Speaker 1: felt like people understood who I were and where it
Speaker 1: came from. And the group that we have now is
Speaker 1: such an awesome group of girls. I think everybody is
Speaker 1: on the same page, and everybody is so understanding, and
Speaker 1: everyone actually does have their own story, and I think
Speaker 1: it's good to have people who are different in the
Speaker 1: group because honestly, we have so much fun and it's
Speaker 1: just a group that everyone wants to be a part of.
Speaker 2: So did you stand up in front of the group
Speaker 2: and share your story?
Speaker 1: I have. Yeah. At the start of the year. I
Speaker 1: just I was partnered with Ebnie Antonio, so they actually
Speaker 1: changed the drill up on us, so we actually meant
Speaker 1: to stand up tell our story, but we had to
Speaker 1: tell our story to a teammate who they paired us with,
Speaker 1: and then the teammate told our story for us, So
Speaker 1: she told us parts of my story, which was cool,
Speaker 1: and then I told parts of her story. So that
Speaker 1: was eye opening to say the least.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and are you still you started seeing a psychologist
Speaker 3: to try and deal with the anxiety. Are you're still
Speaker 3: doing that and are you finding it helpful?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's awesome. Probably when I was younger, I didn't
Speaker 1: really want to speak to anyone about it. I probably
Speaker 1: wasn't owning up to it as such, but now she's awesome. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I see. It was once a fortnight now it's scorn
Speaker 1: out to once a month. But yeah, the club have
Speaker 1: been really supportive with that and the AFLPA getting that involved.
Speaker 1: So I would recommend it. And you're not alone, so
Speaker 1: many people do it, So yeah.
Speaker 2: What do you find most helpful out of it?
Speaker 1: Someone just to talk to and they understand and even
Speaker 1: if you go in there and talk about what you
Speaker 1: think is the most pointless thing they listen. Like the
Speaker 1: other day, I was having getting in my head about
Speaker 1: my magnet. My name on the board was the last
Speaker 1: magnet on the board, and I thought, oh, I'm the
Speaker 1: worst player. So then my SYC tells me, you're all
Speaker 1: in your head. You don't need to think like that.
Speaker 1: So I think just little things like that they really
Speaker 1: help with that. Everyone obviously goes through from time to time.
Speaker 3: And is that what you've been through? I'm imagining it
Speaker 3: would impact your self worth because of you know, what
Speaker 3: you say, the traditional sort of family side of things,
Speaker 3: and then what you went through it gives you a
Speaker 3: different narrative to what you perhaps thought a kid would have.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I've always been a lot harder on myself
Speaker 1: than I probably should have been. Nowadays that I've accepted
Speaker 1: who I am, I think I'm proud. I want to
Speaker 1: get my story out there. So I am proud.
Speaker 2: IFO I am, Yeah, I think you should be damn proud.
Speaker 1: Yeah. No, I wouldn't be half the person I am
Speaker 1: though if it wasn't for my foster parents.
Speaker 3: Yeah, how does it impact your life now? What everything
Speaker 3: you've been through?
Speaker 1: I think it just shows me and other kids that
Speaker 1: are in my position that you can do it. You
Speaker 1: don't have to fall to that stereotype of oh, they're
Speaker 1: in the system, they can't make it. You can make
Speaker 1: it and you're not alone. And I think if I'd
Speaker 1: had that mentor growing up, who knows how different it
Speaker 1: would be. So I guess I just want to be
Speaker 1: a voice for the younger people coming up in the
Speaker 1: care system that it is dawable and if you just
Speaker 1: find that passionate something that you're good at, even if
Speaker 1: you don't want to be a professional at it, so
Speaker 1: be it. As long as you have that safe space,
Speaker 1: I think that's a really powerful thing to have.
Speaker 3: All of this podcast is about celebrating resilience, and I
Speaker 3: think you're an absolute picture of resilience. And like I
Speaker 3: said earlier, I'm kind of amazed the way that you
Speaker 3: just rattle through what you're talking about it and I
Speaker 3: just I can't imagine any part of that. So I
Speaker 3: find it amazing, and I think you're going to absolutely
Speaker 3: help a lot of people. So thank you for being
Speaker 3: so honest.
Speaker 1: Yeah. No, I think just to show people that they're
Speaker 1: not alone is a really powerful thing, and this is
Speaker 1: a safe space and the AFL is an amazing place
Speaker 1: to be. I guess as a player because you have
Speaker 1: so much support around you. And then if I can
Speaker 1: give that support to even one person, know that I've
Speaker 1: made a difference is really what drives me to be
Speaker 1: the person who I am that I am and they
Speaker 1: continue to play football and be that role model.
Speaker 2: Thank you, I.
Speaker 1: Thank you soon time.
Speaker 3: Thanks again for listening to this episode of Ordinarily Speaking,
Speaker 3: and once again, thanks so much to Sabrina Duffy for
Speaker 3: being so open and honest. I know she's going to
Speaker 3: help a lot of kids out there. If you enjoyed
Speaker 3: this episode, you may also want to check out episode
Speaker 3: one with Collingwood star Adam Trelaw. Don't forget to follow
Speaker 3: us on Instagram at Ordinarily Underscore Speaking and hit subscribe
Speaker 3: and tell your mates a new episode will drop on Wednesday.
Speaker 1: Can use a leaper from you, Namada, tll me that
Speaker 1: you want to be.
Speaker 2: Just let me like you are a big load.
Speaker 3: Can I competrate the fire with you?
Speaker 4: Just let me that you are a big