Speaker 1: Life on Cut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose
Speaker 1: lands were never seated. We pay our respects to their
Speaker 1: elders past and present.
Speaker 2: Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was
Speaker 2: recorded on Cameragle Land.
Speaker 3: Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life
Speaker 3: on Cut.
Speaker 2: I'm Laura, I'm Brittany, and this is ask gun cut
Speaker 2: where we answer you're deep, you're dark, and you're burning questions.
Speaker 1: Why did I just throw peace signs to you? Bilateral?
Speaker 1: When I said, it's Brittany by.
Speaker 3: Lateral like both, yeah, by life double.
Speaker 1: It's a double whammy. A double piece'll do blae. I
Speaker 1: don't think people single piece anymore.
Speaker 2: There's only two kinds of people who do peace signs
Speaker 2: these days, and it's millennials.
Speaker 3: And five year olds. No, you're a millennial, so you
Speaker 3: fit in. You're fine.
Speaker 1: I still to this day have to fight my hand
Speaker 1: coming up in a photo to peace sign like I
Speaker 1: just saw.
Speaker 4: That's not bubbly blue too.
Speaker 3: Laura can get as.
Speaker 4: Close up with that John a slow motion snot That
Speaker 4: should be.
Speaker 2: The piece of social content from today's video of all
Speaker 2: the highlights that are going to happen on today's episode,
Speaker 2: Please let it be this piece of snot that flew
Speaker 2: out of my nose straight into my hand.
Speaker 3: But I'm seen the bubble it was.
Speaker 1: You know, when you're like talking to someone, you snop
Speaker 1: bubble and you know, but you quickly wipe it away
Speaker 1: and you're like, they probably didn't see it, and you
Speaker 1: can see you the conversation.
Speaker 2: That's because most of the time it happens in front
Speaker 2: of people who wouldn't call it out that when it's
Speaker 2: your really good friend, they can be like, I saw
Speaker 2: that that happened, and I'll never let it go.
Speaker 1: Okay, hang on, Speaking of that, I was in a
Speaker 1: sauna last night and the sauna is nice. It was wonderful.
Speaker 1: I sawn it five times a week. It's my thing.
Speaker 3: Because he who doesn't have kids sitting here right now,
Speaker 3: because everyone else I don't have kids.
Speaker 5: I don't have time to sworn five times a week.
Speaker 1: I freaking love to guys the sauna. I can get
Speaker 1: from my bedroom and be in the sauna walking in
Speaker 1: one hundred and twenty seconds. In two minutes, it is
Speaker 1: directly across from my house, Like you can't be closer
Speaker 1: in a sauna, So like sometimes I'm just like, oh,
Speaker 1: duck across and listen to a podcast in there.
Speaker 2: You could be forgiven for thinking that the sauna is
Speaker 2: actually in Brits. It's not.
Speaker 3: And she has an infrared, but it's not. It's across
Speaker 3: the road.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 3: But I was just talking.
Speaker 1: About people that ignore things on your face or something.
Speaker 1: I was in the sauna last night and it's a
Speaker 1: thoroughfare like it's the place to be. People come and go.
Speaker 1: It's not a single sauna. It's a big one, so
Speaker 1: you know you can fit, Like, so you all.
Speaker 3: Go in there together. You just sit in there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what people do. Yeah this, Laura looks so shocked.
Speaker 3: It's gross.
Speaker 2: So you can what are those things called that where
Speaker 2: you're like you put your meat in and you cook
Speaker 2: them like a gravy boat.
Speaker 5: Yeah. No, I was like, no, I don't take my
Speaker 5: gravy pot.
Speaker 1: I don't take my gravy boaty in Actually a lot
Speaker 1: of people, Yeah, that was exactly what they said incomes
Speaker 1: the Shrimp.
Speaker 3: Sorry, Laura's lost.
Speaker 6: Do you remember when people used to call people that
Speaker 6: had really great bodies but not great head You just
Speaker 6: realized that's.
Speaker 3: Not what I was saying. I was not calling you.
Speaker 2: You're out and clear, you're clearly your face is clearly
Speaker 2: better than your body.
Speaker 1: Also, also losers, it's not a shrimp, it's a prawn.
Speaker 2: That is why I didn't connect the two, because I
Speaker 2: don't think anyone has said shrimp and yeah, your lobster,
Speaker 2: you're obviously extremely attractive.
Speaker 3: Whatever it starts at about the ankles and shows.
Speaker 1: Up, give you this shovel to keep digging your whole.
Speaker 1: You No, guys, we haven't finished one story yet, so
Speaker 1: we've gone to like four stories. I was in the sauna,
Speaker 1: people coming and going, talking NonStop. It turned into a
Speaker 1: therapy session for this one guy who was asking me
Speaker 1: all this dating advice because his sister listens to the pod.
Speaker 1: He's like, oh, you have that podcast. My sister is
Speaker 1: always like, have you seen Brittany.
Speaker 4: In the sauna?
Speaker 1: Anyway, So we're talking to so many people for like
Speaker 1: twenty minutes. Then finally when I got out, this guy
Speaker 1: just walked up to me because he was about to
Speaker 1: go in the sauner. He's like hey, and he's like, oh,
Speaker 1: you got sang on your face. And I had this huge,
Speaker 1: big thing on my cheek that was it a big
Speaker 1: black I don't know, not'sno. But my point was not
Speaker 1: one person in that thoroughy in that sauna, as I
Speaker 1: was talking directly to them for twenty minutes, said anything,
Speaker 1: and this one guy that I barely knew told me.
Speaker 1: And I was like, why do people not want to
Speaker 1: let someone know? And they've got something on their face?
Speaker 1: I was like, now, embarrassed I gave a serious therapy
Speaker 1: session in there with a goalie or something on my face. Well,
Speaker 1: maybe they didn't notice.
Speaker 5: It is mood lighting in there. It's not like it's
Speaker 5: bright lights.
Speaker 4: No, it is bright lights.
Speaker 6: You go to a sauna and talk to people like
Speaker 6: a fury session sweating in bright light?
Speaker 3: I could that's my worst night. Isn't it like it's red?
Speaker 3: Isn't it like it's the infrared ones?
Speaker 4: Everyone's a hot stone. It's not infrared. She has stones
Speaker 4: and stuff.
Speaker 6: Okay, one time someone in a sauna I did try
Speaker 6: the whole group sauna thing and they stood up and
Speaker 6: they kind of like moved their hands and the sweat
Speaker 6: from their finger flung onto me.
Speaker 5: And I've never been filled with so much disgust and rage.
Speaker 3: I was like, You've got to embrace it. Gee, So no, I'm.
Speaker 6: Not having someone else's sweat that I don't know, a
Speaker 6: stranger's sweat flling onto me and not make a comment
Speaker 6: about it.
Speaker 1: Don't you ever have sex and sweat and like your
Speaker 1: partner's sweat is on you, she's not. She's not letting.
Speaker 5: What goes on in your It's.
Speaker 3: Like fight club, dear.
Speaker 2: All right, Well, look, there's lots to talk about today,
Speaker 2: but firstly, before we get into all of it, I mean,
Speaker 2: let's just segue. We're gonna go from the funny stuff
Speaker 2: to the not funny stuff back to the funny stuff.
Speaker 2: I just wanted to say a very big thank you
Speaker 2: because so many of you guys have slid into our
Speaker 2: dms after Tuesday's episode about conversations that you've had with
Speaker 2: your dads, after talking about Neil, but also just like
Speaker 2: really really nice messages, and then I read them and
Speaker 2: then I cry agains, and I'm.
Speaker 3: Like, oh, We've got the best community in the entire world.
Speaker 3: So I we do, we really do. You guys are amazing.
Speaker 2: So I just genuinely wanted to say thank you because
Speaker 2: I feel the love very much, so.
Speaker 3: Well, we love you.
Speaker 1: I actually, while we're on that train, I also want
Speaker 1: to say big thank you to the community, because I
Speaker 1: got a lot of messages too, which I appreciated. That said,
Speaker 1: I would have cried for you, Brittany when I looked
Speaker 1: at your wedding dress.
Speaker 3: And then we're back up again.
Speaker 1: Hey, Brett, I just want to let you know I
Speaker 1: would have cried for the wedding dress.
Speaker 2: If you'd brought me, I would have cried too. But
Speaker 2: you didn't bring me, and you haven't shown me, so
Speaker 2: I'm not going to cry for you.
Speaker 1: You were in Melbourne.
Speaker 4: I did say let's catch up.
Speaker 2: You wouldn't show me, so I said, send me a photo. No,
Speaker 2: I was at that trade show anyway. I spent my
Speaker 2: entire weekend life in style hocking jewels on a stand.
Speaker 5: To be fair, you were crying a lot.
Speaker 3: As it was.
Speaker 5: Still it probably vig easier.
Speaker 2: I'm sure I flux is not on someone on that stand,
Speaker 2: because let me tell you, everything's really lubricated inside me
Speaker 2: at the moment.
Speaker 1: Why you just like you don't sell anything? You're like
Speaker 1: wise because she's brave.
Speaker 3: Wrong with your snot pretty much? All right, let's get
Speaker 3: into vibes and unsubscribes.
Speaker 1: Okay, my vibe this week is you If you've been
Speaker 1: following for a while, you know that I use the
Speaker 1: menstrual cup like the period cup. I don't use tampons
Speaker 1: or pads anymore. I haven't for years. But I have
Speaker 1: always until recently used a period cup that came in
Speaker 1: like a sash, like you keep it in a little.
Speaker 3: Bag, little bag. Yeah, like a little bag, like a
Speaker 3: little baggy for your period cup.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't know what a baggie is, but yeah, it's
Speaker 1: a tiny little baggy.
Speaker 2: Everyone it's a tiny moura in her thirties doesn't know
Speaker 2: we were in twenty is Dwine's gonna told you?
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you just used me a bag that you
Speaker 1: tied at the sides, which was fine because you cleaned
Speaker 1: your period cup and wiped it dry and you put
Speaker 1: it in.
Speaker 4: It's fine.
Speaker 1: But I recently updated it to tom organic period cup
Speaker 1: and it comes in a plastic hard casing with little
Speaker 1: pop top. Not only is it the casing, but it's
Speaker 1: also how you sterilize it. So after you use a
Speaker 1: menstrual cup, you usually put it into a cup of
Speaker 1: boiling water and you let it soak, and that's how
Speaker 1: you clean it.
Speaker 3: Process the same mug that you make your tea in.
Speaker 4: Yes, that's what I do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I lick it after Laura dry.
Speaker 3: Some people dry and some.
Speaker 1: People pour John on the other guy in the room.
Speaker 1: It's like, what's a period?
Speaker 2: Some people pour their menstrual blood into their houseplants.
Speaker 4: That's what I do.
Speaker 1: I don't pour it.
Speaker 2: Into their houseplants. And apparently it's really good for your plants.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I don't actually use a period cup for the week
Speaker 1: I have my period. I just cock a leg over
Speaker 1: my plant.
Speaker 3: You just hang out. You got me, Laura, you got
Speaker 3: me hang out over your mon's.
Speaker 1: Everyone's like what you doing? And I'm like, just just
Speaker 1: chill it. I can't come out this week.
Speaker 3: I'm fertilizing.
Speaker 1: They're like, you mean you're trying for a baby. No, no,
Speaker 1: I'm blaming not to my plant.
Speaker 3: Straight through the soil, straight to the root.
Speaker 4: Get it.
Speaker 1: So anyway, it comes in this hard plastic casing with
Speaker 1: a pop top, and the casing is not only the casing,
Speaker 1: but it's the sterilization.
Speaker 4: So what you do is.
Speaker 1: Put the tiniest bit of water a couple of meals
Speaker 1: in the bottom, close the pop top, throw it in
Speaker 1: the microwave for twenty seconds or thirty seconds, and it sterilizes.
Speaker 1: The process is so quick and easy, so for someone
Speaker 1: if anyone uses menstrul cups, I might be slow to
Speaker 1: the game here with this casing thing.
Speaker 4: But until now I didn't even know it was a thing.
Speaker 2: Like I need to bring it down a second because
Speaker 2: I can't stop laughing. All I'm thinking is, you can
Speaker 2: like sterilize your menstrual cup and make your popcorn at
Speaker 2: the same time.
Speaker 3: You can plant do blay once again, I will stop.
Speaker 2: I have seen these, and I love tom Organics as
Speaker 2: a brand. So you know, when you've had a baby,
Speaker 2: you just believe that no one tells you this. You
Speaker 2: bleed for so long afterwards, right like it's just like
Speaker 2: the world's longest, never ending period. But you have to
Speaker 2: use maternity pads because you can't use templeons, you can't
Speaker 2: use anything like that. The tom Organics maternity pads are
Speaker 2: fucking amazing. They're the only ones that I've ever used
Speaker 2: that don't feel like you're wearing a diaper. Like they're
Speaker 2: so so good. That's not my vibe, but there you go.
Speaker 2: I'm corroborating your vibe.
Speaker 1: If you've been thinking about trying it, you don't have
Speaker 1: to worry about if you've run out having to go
Speaker 1: buy it because you've always got it in your bag.
Speaker 1: It's real and that is not sponsored. Tom Organics could
Speaker 1: sponsor us.
Speaker 6: Tom.
Speaker 2: If you want to sponsor us, come on down my
Speaker 2: vibe for this week.
Speaker 6: I actually stumbled across this because I was watching our
Speaker 6: YouTube channel, little Pluggy plug Plug. Subscribe to us on YouTube.
Speaker 6: It's freaking great. It is one of my favorite content creators.
Speaker 6: You guys have had me bang on about this for
Speaker 6: a long time. Mark Manson has a YouTube clip. It
Speaker 6: is less than ten minutes and it's called the Shocking
Speaker 6: Effects of five hundred Days Without Alcohol. Obviously, Like I mean,
Speaker 6: we've spoken of one podcast quite a lot this year, I've.
Speaker 5: Almost gone sober.
Speaker 6: Like I kind of consider myself mostly a non drinker
Speaker 6: now my too. Yeah, my desire to drink alcohol, yeah
Speaker 6: me as well.
Speaker 1: She drops the bottle. Now she's just putting it beside
Speaker 1: the lounge.
Speaker 6: My desire to drink alcohol has evaporated, and I'm really really.
Speaker 5: Enjoying the effects of sober life.
Speaker 6: And something I have found quite interesting this year is
Speaker 6: that while I've been speaking to people about being sober,
Speaker 6: I almost think that they assume you fall into one
Speaker 6: of two camps. One is that you were either a
Speaker 6: problematic drinker and your behavior was not good when you
Speaker 6: drank alcohol. Emily Weir did a wonderful episode with You
Speaker 6: Guys last year on that. I actually will link that
Speaker 6: in the show notes for anyone who might want to listen.
Speaker 6: It was really really great episode. The other camp I
Speaker 6: think is that you are a health nut and that
Speaker 6: you you know, are an endurance athlete or something like that,
Speaker 6: and that's obviously me.
Speaker 5: I've never felt as though that fit for me.
Speaker 6: And this particular YouTube, Mark went through how he redefined
Speaker 6: what meant like he was the type of person who
Speaker 6: experienced hypo dopaminergic and seeking out stimulus and that's why
Speaker 6: he used to drink. He used to get that impulsive nature.
Speaker 3: Because he used to get these.
Speaker 6: Novel and exciting experiences. And so here too are the
Speaker 6: quotes from the YouTube. He said, quitting alcohol has completely
Speaker 6: reshaped my idea of pleasure, enjoyment, and fun. Novelty and
Speaker 6: excitement is a cheap substitute for intimacy and happiness. So
Speaker 6: if you don't have much intimacy and happiness, you can
Speaker 6: always fill the void with novelty pretty easily, and for
Speaker 6: him that was coupled with drinking. I really enjoyed his
Speaker 6: perspective on how his life has shifted since not having
Speaker 6: alcohol in it.
Speaker 2: I think it's become way more common as well, because
Speaker 2: even when we started this podcast five years ago, it
Speaker 2: was so uncommon to talk about being sober, and I
Speaker 2: think if you said that you weren't drinking, it was
Speaker 2: associated with exactly what you said, that you must have
Speaker 2: had a problem with alcohol. Whereas now I don't think
Speaker 2: that there's as much peer pressure around it, and it's
Speaker 2: in no way the odd one out of your group
Speaker 2: if you don't drink, because there's so many friends groups
Speaker 2: now where people are like just not as into it.
Speaker 6: The one exception I think still exists kind of the
Speaker 6: stigma is I've got quite a few friends who are
Speaker 6: in similar stages where they're choosing not to drink, but
Speaker 6: they're dating and they're finding it a little bit not awkward.
Speaker 2: Perhats, because it makes it easy on a first date, Yeah,
Speaker 2: let's go and get a wine, Let's get.
Speaker 6: A drink, And also when they're with this person that
Speaker 6: they don't know well and they're like, oh, I don't
Speaker 6: drink or I'm not drinking because of the assumptions that
Speaker 6: we've made about why you might not be drinking alcohol.
Speaker 6: I think they find it hard to be like, it's
Speaker 6: not been a problem in my life.
Speaker 5: I'm still fun, Like I'm still fun. Don't worry.
Speaker 6: I just I think for them it's been hard to
Speaker 6: kind of navigate dating alongside sober life. But the thing
Speaker 6: for me is that I never thought I experienced anxiety
Speaker 6: because when I'm drunk, I actually I quite enjoy my personality.
Speaker 6: I've never been the one to cause arguments or you know,
Speaker 6: get to emotional or anything like that. But it's been
Speaker 6: very interesting for me because I didn't realize how much
Speaker 6: three or four days later my mental health would be
Speaker 6: affected by it. And that's been the real change for me,
Speaker 6: is being like, oh, I'm so much more stable.
Speaker 5: I don't have these ups and downs.
Speaker 6: Because I thought anxiety must have been that you had
Speaker 6: anxiety about the behavior that you've done the night before,
Speaker 6: But for me, it's actually been the more prolonged effects.
Speaker 4: I think.
Speaker 5: So, yeah, look, if you're curious about it.
Speaker 6: If you're a little bit so curious maybe or you
Speaker 6: just want to see a different perspective.
Speaker 3: It's ten minutes.
Speaker 5: YouTube's produced beautifully. What is your vibe for the way
Speaker 5: it was?
Speaker 2: So my vibe is I mean, you guys might have
Speaker 2: noticed if you've been watching our socials from the last
Speaker 2: episode or if you're watching this on YouTube. We've got
Speaker 2: brand new spanking chairs in the studio. Yes, so we
Speaker 2: also have new side tables, which you probably can't see
Speaker 2: that well.
Speaker 4: And then you pink rug.
Speaker 3: We also have a new rug.
Speaker 2: Really we really like upped our game here. But I've
Speaker 2: recommended this before. You guys all know Koala mattresses. Koala
Speaker 2: mattresses are amazing. I have a Koala couch at home.
Speaker 2: It's modular. The piece has come apart. You can rip
Speaker 2: the covers off it, which was a really exciting discovery
Speaker 2: after having it for a year. So I already am
Speaker 2: like sold into the world of Koala furniture. But these
Speaker 2: are Koala chairs. Their fabric is beautiful. The name is
Speaker 2: the Suffolk Chair, and they're big.
Speaker 1: That's the thing I like because none of us sit properly.
Speaker 2: I'm literally laying down doing a podcast right, I'm doing yoga,
Speaker 2: I have my feet on the chair. I'm laying sideways
Speaker 2: and I've never been more comfortable. But if you've been
Speaker 2: thinking about upgrading your lounde room or getting new furniture,
Speaker 2: I don't think many people would instantly think of Koala
Speaker 2: because I think people think of them as a mattress
Speaker 2: company rather than them being like a great furniture or
Speaker 2: lounge room company.
Speaker 1: I have always used their lounge that is the sofa bed,
Speaker 1: so it's in my spare the folder.
Speaker 3: I've got that as well upstairs.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I don't have a lot of room in
Speaker 1: my house, but I wanted a spare room. So Keisha
Speaker 1: actually slept on it last week. Yes, that's you don't
Speaker 1: need to know she was. No, Keisha slept on it
Speaker 1: last week. And it's so good because it's a beautiful
Speaker 1: couch and then you just literally grab a little flat.
Speaker 3: I was so interture. That's not why I was at first.
Speaker 5: My flats were not being she described a little flat.
Speaker 1: But you just flap it out like you just pour
Speaker 1: it out in one swoop, and then you've got a
Speaker 1: ready made bed.
Speaker 5: Can I tell you, guys what.
Speaker 6: I like about Kohala the most, And this exists for
Speaker 6: these chairs as well. No fucking screws, not an Allen
Speaker 6: Key in sight. I put a bed together with my
Speaker 6: boyfriend a couple of weeks ago. I reckon Kowala is
Speaker 6: responsible for saving relationships.
Speaker 5: Because I've put pieces of furniture together in the past.
Speaker 6: Always arguments you can never put a flat pack together
Speaker 6: without causing an argument within your relationship.
Speaker 4: I agree.
Speaker 6: Yeah, the bed took about fifteen minutes to put together,
Speaker 6: and these chairs didn't take long either, so.
Speaker 2: Which Keisha would know because she assembled all of them. Yeah,
Speaker 2: all right, let's get into the questions.
Speaker 4: Okay, Question number one.
Speaker 1: I had this girlfriend that I had only known for
Speaker 1: a short time through work early in our friendship. Just
Speaker 1: a couple of months in, she asked me for advice
Speaker 1: on proposing to her boyfriend. I encouraged her to go
Speaker 1: for it, and a few weeks later I found myself
Speaker 1: hiding behind a beach umbrella camera in hare and capturing
Speaker 1: her proposal. Not long after, she asked me to be
Speaker 1: her bridesmaid. I was flattered and accepted, though I was
Speaker 1: a bit surprised given how new our friendship was. Then
Speaker 1: the wedding was postponed for a year due to a
Speaker 1: venue mix up.
Speaker 4: Oh devoed.
Speaker 1: Imagine if your venue was like, well, sorry double booked.
Speaker 3: Oh Jesus, that's.
Speaker 4: A pretty big mistake.
Speaker 1: Anyway, we won't name that venue. Life got busy for
Speaker 1: both of us, but I made an effort to stay
Speaker 1: in touch, regularly checking in. Her responses were few and
Speaker 1: far between, until one day, out of the blue, she
Speaker 1: sent me a very long text telling me she didn't
Speaker 1: want me in the bridal party anymore. She claimed that
Speaker 1: I was the reason we'd drifted apart, but said she
Speaker 1: still wanted me.
Speaker 4: In her life.
Speaker 1: Yet, when the wedding finally happened, I wasn't even invited.
Speaker 2: I shouldn't laugh, But how do you go from I'm
Speaker 2: so sorry, we're not laughing at you.
Speaker 1: What a rapid decline from capturing the proposal to bridesmaid
Speaker 1: to not bridesmaid to not been invited a few months
Speaker 1: after the wedding, she messaged me saying she would love
Speaker 1: to catch up.
Speaker 3: Now I'm torn.
Speaker 4: Should I take the.
Speaker 1: High road and give her a second chance or cut
Speaker 1: tires since she was the one who cut me off first.
Speaker 1: We still have mutual friends, so it's likely that we're
Speaker 1: running to each other at some point.
Speaker 3: Hel h cut your losses. Yeah, buy ye, cut your losses.
Speaker 2: Who knows, I mean, we don't have the full context
Speaker 2: of like what happened.
Speaker 3: Maybe you did something that offended her.
Speaker 2: We don't know, right, that could be a possibility, and
Speaker 2: then she might be so conflict avoidant that she distanced herself.
Speaker 2: The thing though, to me that screams that maybe she
Speaker 2: is not someone who prioritizes friendships or has strong friendships
Speaker 2: in her life is the fact that you guys had
Speaker 2: only known each other for such a short period of time,
Speaker 2: and you were the person that she prioritized to have
Speaker 2: in all of those special moments. So I think that
Speaker 2: that to me screams that she's someone who has hard
Speaker 2: and fast friendships but doesn't know how to maintain friendships.
Speaker 3: And maybe she doesn't have many friends in her life.
Speaker 2: Maybe she was onto the next exciting person or exciting
Speaker 2: thing that she'd fill that void with. I would say,
Speaker 2: you know, the fact that this all happened in quite
Speaker 2: a relatively short period of time of your friendship, she
Speaker 2: didn't even have them the decency to speak to you
Speaker 2: before the wedding and have you there as a guest.
Speaker 2: I for me would see this friendship as way too
Speaker 2: much drama and would be saying appreciate you. I hope
Speaker 2: you're happy, but I think that maybe it's better we
Speaker 2: just leave things the way it is now.
Speaker 4: How devo that you don't even get an.
Speaker 1: Invited to the wedding make the cut, Like you've gone
Speaker 1: from being the one that gives the advice of like
Speaker 1: should I propose? You've encouraged it, you've shot the engagement,
Speaker 1: you're part of the bridal party, and then you're not
Speaker 1: even part of the wedding.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's crazy, Like.
Speaker 4: It doesn't make sense to me.
Speaker 1: I understand the demotion from bridesmaid to guests, like I
Speaker 1: understand that if over a year goes past or two
Speaker 1: years and friendships change, but it's pretty drastic to cut
Speaker 1: someone from a wedding completely. I don't see the reason
Speaker 1: that you would want to catch up with her now,
Speaker 1: Like what is the point you're not you haven't been talking,
Speaker 1: you haven't gone to the wedding, Like it's not a
Speaker 1: relationship in your life that you need or you're trying
Speaker 1: to save her. She was new, not a twenty year friendship.
Speaker 2: So I'm a bit like totally also to cut someone
Speaker 2: from your wedding without a conversation like that.
Speaker 3: It's the coldness of it. I completely agree.
Speaker 1: I also that though, didn't you uninvite someone by just
Speaker 1: not sending them invitation?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I did, but that was different. It really it was
Speaker 3: a very different circumstance.
Speaker 2: My only thing though, is and you kind of touched
Speaker 2: on a brit when you said, like, this is not
Speaker 2: a twenty year friendship. It's the same as if you
Speaker 2: were dating someone. I think people can appear to be
Speaker 2: especially in friendships, and I think sometimes it takes longer
Speaker 2: to figure it out. People can appear to be amazing,
Speaker 2: the friendship can appear to be incredible, and then the
Speaker 2: longer the time goes, people show you who.
Speaker 3: They really are.
Speaker 2: And I think the way that she's behaved has shown
Speaker 2: you who she really is, and that she isn't someone
Speaker 2: who puts the same level of effort into friendships or
Speaker 2: puts the same level of commitment into them as you do.
Speaker 2: So it's a really beautiful quality that you still after
Speaker 2: all of this, want to catch up and maybe give
Speaker 2: the friendship a second chance. For me, I would ask
Speaker 2: the question, like how much drama is that going to
Speaker 2: bring into your life? And is it going to be
Speaker 2: a situation where you have another intense burst of friendship
Speaker 2: and then she falls away by the wayside.
Speaker 3: Again.
Speaker 2: Personally, I read that and I'm like, that is way
Speaker 2: too much work, and I could not be bothered.
Speaker 1: It's also such a strange thing, like out of the blue,
Speaker 1: when you have no connection or communication with someone to
Speaker 1: be like, oh my god, we should catch up. Why
Speaker 1: why I don't understand that because you're not friends anymore.
Speaker 1: So unless she wants something again, I don't get.
Speaker 2: It, Which is also why I said it at the
Speaker 2: very beginning though, Brick, because I was like, the context
Speaker 2: of this doesn't quite make sense to me. If it
Speaker 2: was something that had happened, or there was an issue
Speaker 2: that should have been brought up before the wedding, like
Speaker 2: that's a big conversation to have, But maybe something went
Speaker 2: down that you're not aware of, or maybe you did
Speaker 2: something that really hurt her feelings and it's a misunderstanding,
Speaker 2: or you're completely unaware. I don't know, but that to me,
Speaker 2: this behavior without anything actually happening is so fucking weird,
Speaker 2: which is why it makes me think maybe something did happen.
Speaker 2: Happen the fact that she now wants to have this
Speaker 2: catch up or sit down or.
Speaker 3: Whatever it is.
Speaker 2: But I I don't know even if something did, Like look,
Speaker 2: let's play Devil's Advocate for a second.
Speaker 3: You go and you have the conversation with her.
Speaker 2: Maybe if that is what you're thinking about, it could
Speaker 2: be good for you to get closure. Like if you
Speaker 2: want to go and have another catch up with her
Speaker 2: and have a conversation with her, it might give you
Speaker 2: an opportunity to draw more conclusions around why her behavior
Speaker 2: was so bloody strained in the first place.
Speaker 1: I feel like it's just a waste of energy, to
Speaker 1: be honest.
Speaker 2: I agree completely, But some people like to package this
Speaker 2: shit up in a nice bolow. You know they do,
Speaker 2: even with ex's and stuff. There's been loads of times
Speaker 2: that we've had questions come in and I've been like,
Speaker 2: I would never speak to that guy again. But relationships
Speaker 2: are not as easily navigated, and sometimes our curiosity is
Speaker 2: what gets the better of us, Like what does that
Speaker 2: person want to talk to me about? So, if you
Speaker 2: do feel as though you want to go and catch
Speaker 2: up with her, I would really hope that it's to
Speaker 2: get closure for yourself. I hope that that's the reason
Speaker 2: why you're going not because you're wanting to kind of
Speaker 2: you know, rea night of friendship when you've been treated
Speaker 2: so badly through it.
Speaker 1: Imagine if she wanted to catch out with her because
Speaker 1: she's like, I just noticed she didn't get me a
Speaker 1: wedding present.
Speaker 3: No, she's like, I'm pregnant.
Speaker 2: I want your advice on how I should plan like
Speaker 2: the gender surprise and the baby shower.
Speaker 3: Can you come and help me in video?
Speaker 1: Wak I actually want to call my baby after you
Speaker 1: sat a kay?
Speaker 4: Question Number two.
Speaker 1: My best friend sometimes makes comments when we are all
Speaker 1: out for dinner, like with the girls. She says, Okay, tonight,
Speaker 1: no more baby talk. It punches me straight in the gut.
Speaker 1: This year, my entire life has been consumed with my baby.
Speaker 1: I was on family leave and just started back at work.
Speaker 1: Now at this point of my life, all of it
Speaker 1: revolves around my baby. I feel confused and don't know
Speaker 1: who I am anymore, and I feel like I have
Speaker 1: nothing else to talk about. And to my friends, who
Speaker 1: I love dearly, I just think I'm boring to them. Normally,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't care what people think of me, but her
Speaker 1: opinion of me really matters to me. My best friend
Speaker 1: does want to have kids, but not for a few years.
Speaker 1: I guess my question is how do I navigate this
Speaker 1: friendship since we are both at different stages of our life.
Speaker 1: How do I navigate the comments? How do I find
Speaker 1: myself again? I sometimes miss the old met, the freedom
Speaker 1: and the things that I used to be able to do.
Speaker 1: But I especially miss the old me when I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm the boring person to my friends and have
Speaker 1: nothing to contribute.
Speaker 2: I love this question because I think that this is
Speaker 2: something that so many moms go through. I mean every mom.
Speaker 2: I think this is something that every mum goes through.
Speaker 2: After I first had Maley, every conversation I had with
Speaker 2: my friends was mostly around being a mum, or around
Speaker 2: something that she had done or something that had happened.
Speaker 2: And it's true, like your entire life becomes the fact that.
Speaker 3: You're like this conduit for this baby.
Speaker 2: Like everywhere you go, they come with you everything you do,
Speaker 2: They're part of it. And it's divisive, right because some
Speaker 2: of you listening, we always get comments where it's like, well,
Speaker 2: I didn't just become my baby, you know, I still
Speaker 2: was my own person. I still held on to some
Speaker 2: semblance of my own identity. If you're able to do that,
Speaker 2: that's fucking amazing, because for a lot of other women
Speaker 2: it's just simply not the case. And I know for me,
Speaker 2: there would be times where we would come and do
Speaker 2: this podcast and like, this podcast was the only thing
Speaker 2: in my life that was non baby related. And I
Speaker 2: say that because even though I do Tony May, Molly
Speaker 2: came and Laula, they came with me to work. We
Speaker 2: set up a crash in the office and my niece
Speaker 2: and nephew were in there as well with Lala Male anyways.
Speaker 3: Wild So I get it.
Speaker 2: At the time of life there was I think back
Speaker 2: on that and I'm like, how the fuck did we
Speaker 2: do that?
Speaker 1: I think back on that and I think, how the
Speaker 1: fuck did you do?
Speaker 2: Like I had her in a bouncer under the table
Speaker 2: while still working crazy. So I get it, and I think, firstly,
Speaker 2: give yourself a bit of empathy. You're not boring this
Speaker 2: life is. I know it can seem sometimes boring when
Speaker 2: you're talking about it because you're in groundhog Day, but
Speaker 2: you're also not going to be in this phase of
Speaker 2: life for forever. This is a very finite time in
Speaker 2: your life. The other thing I would say is be
Speaker 2: really honest with your friends, and I don't think she
Speaker 2: means it the way that it's coming across, the way
Speaker 2: you're interpreting it, and the way that you're receiving this information.
Speaker 2: She would be devastated if she realized that saying that
Speaker 2: made you feel the way it makes you feel. She
Speaker 2: doesn't understand that you've had this massive loss of identity.
Speaker 2: She doesn't understand that like the person that you are
Speaker 2: and the person who you used to feel like you were,
Speaker 2: they kind of feel.
Speaker 3: Like worlds apart at the moment.
Speaker 2: Having conversations with our friends who haven't been through, you know,
Speaker 2: the transition of having children really I think opens it
Speaker 2: up and allows you to be honest around your feelings.
Speaker 2: It also gives them the opportunity to be a little
Speaker 2: bit more empathetic about it. But also, I think, on
Speaker 2: the flip side, having a bit of sense around you
Speaker 2: that sometimes the conversation has to gravitate away from it
Speaker 2: just being babies to allow your friends to also feel
Speaker 2: as though that they are able to talk about the
Speaker 2: things that's happening in their life. Just having that mutual
Speaker 2: empathy for each other is so so important.
Speaker 1: It's not like you would ever say to your friend group,
Speaker 1: because it sounds like I'm getting the impression in this
Speaker 1: group of girls that go out to dinner, like this
Speaker 1: close group, I'm getting impression that she might be the
Speaker 1: only one with a baby. Yeah, but you would never
Speaker 1: say to them. You would never sit down and say,
Speaker 1: all right, no, we're talking about fucking don't want to talk.
Speaker 3: About dating life, no more dating guys.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you wouldn't ever say that to them for them
Speaker 1: to not talk about what's going on in their life.
Speaker 1: So I do think that's a conversation you need to have.
Speaker 1: And I get it when you go through a phase
Speaker 1: of life when nothing else is happening, there is nothing
Speaker 1: else to talk about because you're not doing anything else.
Speaker 1: You are a life source for the baby. You're literally
Speaker 1: keeping a human alive Like that is a huge responsibility
Speaker 1: and it is going to consume all of your time.
Speaker 2: I just God, I just have so many memories of
Speaker 2: this point in my life. Like it's so hard because
Speaker 2: I think every single mum goes through this. There's even
Speaker 2: been times where, like, for example, I was reading I
Speaker 2: Won't Say the podcast, I was reading reviews recently and
Speaker 2: some of the comments was like enough we know you're
Speaker 2: having a baby enough, we know you've just had a baby,
Speaker 2: and we would receive the same things when when I
Speaker 2: just had Maley and Lola, some of the fucking reviews
Speaker 2: we receive would be like.
Speaker 3: You're not the first person in the world to have
Speaker 3: a baby.
Speaker 2: Laura, and I was like, I know, I get it.
Speaker 2: I know I'm not the first person, but it's the
Speaker 2: first time I've done it, and it's literally the only
Speaker 2: thing I think about at the moment. In fact, trying
Speaker 2: to think about anything else feels mentally exhausting.
Speaker 1: But what you have to remember is the people that
Speaker 1: are writing that don't have kids, and there's ten times
Speaker 1: more people that are probably listening.
Speaker 4: To you because of the conversation.
Speaker 6: Yeh.
Speaker 2: To be honest, though, sometimes it is people who have
Speaker 2: had kids but their kids are older. It's sometimes women
Speaker 2: who hold this kind of like they hold a standard
Speaker 2: for other women and it's the standard that they were
Speaker 2: held to. There's just a lack of empathy all around. Honestly,
Speaker 2: I think the only way that you can navigate this
Speaker 2: conversation is to just be super honest with your friends
Speaker 2: and say the next time that that is said, you
Speaker 2: don't have to do it in a way that's to
Speaker 2: make them feel bad. Absolutely, do not do it in
Speaker 2: a way that's passive aggressive, because it's going to make
Speaker 2: you sound a little bit crazy.
Speaker 3: I think.
Speaker 2: Just say, guys, I know that baby chat must be
Speaker 2: so boring for you so times, and I'm so sorry
Speaker 2: if I do monopolize the conversation talking about my child.
Speaker 2: But I'm really struggling with even feeling as though i
Speaker 2: have anything else to talk about, Like I am struggling
Speaker 2: because I don't think I have anything of interest or
Speaker 2: anything of value to add to the conversation because that
Speaker 2: feels like I'm living a totally different life. So it's
Speaker 2: the only thing that I'm experiencing, So it's the thing
Speaker 2: I talk about.
Speaker 3: I do believe genuinely.
Speaker 2: With that being said, your friends love you, and they're
Speaker 2: going to treat this with a little bit more care
Speaker 2: and sensitivity.
Speaker 1: This is also why friendships change and navigate at different times.
Speaker 1: It's also why people when they have children get into
Speaker 1: mothers groups so that they know that they have a
Speaker 1: commonality a similarity with the other people that they're hanging
Speaker 1: out with, and you can all compare and you can
Speaker 1: talk about the same things. You can complain, you can
Speaker 1: show each other photos, whatever it is. This is the
Speaker 1: sole reason that friendships change in your life. Doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that you have to not be friends with this group
Speaker 1: at all, but one hundred percent you need to let
Speaker 1: them know. Especially your best friend.
Speaker 4: Reference to her a.
Speaker 1: Few times, so you are saying, like, her opinion matters
Speaker 1: to me, I value it. I feel like I'm not
Speaker 1: enough for her in that group. Have a conversation with
Speaker 1: her and say, yeah, exactly what you said, Laura, Like
Speaker 1: I've just gotten like nothing else. I know it's probably
Speaker 1: boring for you, but it's important to me, and I
Speaker 1: don't have anything else happening right now.
Speaker 2: Do you know what's also really hard when you're like
Speaker 2: the pioneer of something in a friendship group, when you're
Speaker 2: the first person to do it, it's so hard because
Speaker 2: you don't have the other people to then have that
Speaker 2: conversation with. But I guarantee you in three or four
Speaker 2: years time, if your friends also choose to have children,
Speaker 2: that's all they're going to be fucking talking about.
Speaker 3: And then you're going to be.
Speaker 2: Talking about, Oh girl, we're talking about babies again, and
Speaker 2: my kids are five, Like this is boring chat it's
Speaker 2: what happens. And actually, interestingly, I was having a conversation
Speaker 2: with a friend recently and do you.
Speaker 4: Have other friends?
Speaker 3: I how dare gosh?
Speaker 2: Well, funnily enough, I have friends who are mums so
Speaker 2: that I can bore them with my mom chat. I
Speaker 2: was talking to her around her experience with her daughter,
Speaker 2: who has an anxiety disorder, but she was diagnosed very
Speaker 2: very young, and she said, you know, it was so
Speaker 2: isolating because none of my friends and none of the
Speaker 2: people in my friendship group had been through it yet,
Speaker 2: and nobody had any understanding for it, nobody had any
Speaker 2: care to talk about it, and I felt like we
Speaker 2: were just as a family suffering alone.
Speaker 3: And then five years on, other.
Speaker 2: People in that friendship group, their children were then, you know,
Speaker 2: dealing with different versions of either an anxiety or disorder
Speaker 2: or other things that you know teenage girls go through,
Speaker 2: and then everyone was talking about it, and everyone had
Speaker 2: a lot of empathy for each other because so many
Speaker 2: more people had been through it. She said that, you know,
Speaker 2: she had this lunch with them this one day and
Speaker 2: was like, look, I don't want this to be a
Speaker 2: big deal, and I don't want you to think that
Speaker 2: I have hang ups about this. She's like, but when
Speaker 2: I went through this, no one was there for me,
Speaker 2: no one wanted to even talk about it. But now
Speaker 2: you're going through it and it's all we talk about.
Speaker 2: And she's like, I just want everyone to know how
Speaker 2: that felt. That. When I heard that, I was like, wow,
Speaker 2: that is so hard, because you know, we do it
Speaker 2: to each other indifferent, not just about parenting, but about
Speaker 2: lots of things. Sometimes, you know, we find it difficult
Speaker 2: to kind of sit in someone else's problems if we've
Speaker 2: not experienced it ourselves. But it's really important to give
Speaker 2: people the grace when they're going through massive life changes
Speaker 2: and parenting.
Speaker 3: Holy shit, it doesn't get bigger than that.
Speaker 1: The other part is because you have asked, like a
Speaker 1: few questions to this, why do you feel a lot
Speaker 1: of pressure on myself to solve your life problems? But
Speaker 1: how do I bind myself Again? That's really tough. Now
Speaker 1: I am not a parent, but every person in my
Speaker 1: life because all my friends, almost all of them, probably
Speaker 1: only a couple two maybe Keisha's one of them that
Speaker 1: don't have kids.
Speaker 4: So I've been.
Speaker 1: Surrounded by them for years and I've been there with
Speaker 1: my friends as they go through it. The common denominator
Speaker 1: is time. It's like you have to dedicate that time
Speaker 1: to suckling and keeping your child alif and then.
Speaker 3: You will event you don't do the suckling just fy.
Speaker 1: But Laurie, you're a prime example. I remember, I mean,
Speaker 1: you never stopped working in terms of like you took
Speaker 1: the kids to the pod and Tony May and stuff,
Speaker 1: but you didn't have a lot of other things in
Speaker 1: your life because you were so tired. You would go home,
Speaker 1: you'd be with Matt, you'd put the kids to bed.
Speaker 1: They were on a timeframe. And as the years went past,
Speaker 1: I feel like you found yourself again in a way.
Speaker 1: You're doing so much more now in loads of aspects,
Speaker 1: in terms of travel, in terms of other jobs you're
Speaker 1: taking on, and whatever it is. And I think it
Speaker 1: just comes with physically being able to do it. So
Speaker 1: you will find yourself again, and you will find your passion.
Speaker 1: It might just look a little bit different to what
Speaker 1: it was before you had a baby.
Speaker 3: Absolutely give yourself grace, it's time.
Speaker 2: I think the greatest I mean, everyone has advice for
Speaker 2: you and you're a new parent, but the best advice
Speaker 2: I ever received one was don't listen to people's advice.
Speaker 2: And the second condom and the second was everything's a phase,
Speaker 2: like this is just as soon as you think you've
Speaker 2: got something nailed, like if shit hits the fan, and
Speaker 2: as soon as she's hitting the fans, soon enough, it
Speaker 2: changes again, like you're never in the same phase. And
Speaker 2: I don't think that that just is relating to the
Speaker 2: kids and where the kids are at. It also relates
Speaker 2: to you and how you're navigating the kind of journey
Speaker 2: of being a pair. I'm going away on an overseas
Speaker 2: holiday with my new boyfriend. We've only been dating for
Speaker 2: two to three months. But a holiday is a holiday,
Speaker 2: so why not. My mom is actually going overseas, not
Speaker 2: with us, but at the same time, and our flights
Speaker 2: come in on the same day, around the same time.
Speaker 1: My mentional on the mom's behalf.
Speaker 2: My mom has asked if we can give her a
Speaker 2: lift home from the airport. It's only early days in
Speaker 2: the relationship and a long two hour drive from the airport.
Speaker 2: This might possibly be the first time she and he meets,
Speaker 2: and I'm not ready for that. I don't know how
Speaker 2: to say no without feeling guilty, and if I tell her,
Speaker 2: I'm not ready for her to meet him.
Speaker 3: She simply won't understand.
Speaker 2: I know she will take over the car ride home
Speaker 2: and won't stop yabbing or complaining. I'm feeling so anxious
Speaker 2: about it already.
Speaker 3: I'm thirty five years of I.
Speaker 2: Don't know why that means anything, but sure I'm thirty
Speaker 2: five years old. If that has any help with context,
Speaker 2: it actually does, doesn't it.
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I think it does because it's probably a little bit
Speaker 1: more serious. But having said that.
Speaker 3: They've only been dating for two to three months.
Speaker 1: I don't think you can ask you mum to get
Speaker 1: in a two hour uber when you're driving the same way, Like,
Speaker 1: I don't think you can do that.
Speaker 3: The mum is asking, so how do you say no?
Speaker 1: I don't think you can. That's what I'm saying. I
Speaker 1: think that you have to give your mom a ride.
Speaker 3: You just suck it up.
Speaker 1: It's two hour drive.
Speaker 4: You're either telling.
Speaker 1: Her to get a taxi or an uber for two hours.
Speaker 1: I agree with you when you're in the same trip,
Speaker 1: or you're saying find someone else to drive two hours
Speaker 1: to pick you up. In this sense, I think bravo
Speaker 1: and the mom. She's planned this impeccably. She has done
Speaker 1: this so that she can meet your lover. And I
Speaker 1: think that that's a great idea. You're thirty five years old.
Speaker 1: I think it's okay for them to meet, even if it.
Speaker 4: Doesn't work out.
Speaker 1: It's not really the world like if anything, see how
Speaker 1: they get along, have a laugh. It's okay if she
Speaker 1: takes over for two hours, if you need to quote
Speaker 1: unquote warn your boyfriend that you know Mom's gonna yap
Speaker 1: your head off for two hours.
Speaker 4: But I think, like I think.
Speaker 3: You need to embrace this. I one hundred agree with you, Britt.
Speaker 2: The only thing that I think I disagree with I
Speaker 2: don't disagree with you at all, but what I might
Speaker 2: do differently if you have an issue here in this situation.
Speaker 2: On one hand, you've got your mom, your mom who
Speaker 2: raised you, who loves you, suckled, who's suckled you, who
Speaker 2: lost her identity for you, Dad, not know who she is,
Speaker 2: she you, She can't even.
Speaker 5: Speak to her friends because of you.
Speaker 3: You know she's lost her friendship groups all right.
Speaker 2: You got your mom who needs to get home from
Speaker 2: at the airport as well two hour drive. You've got
Speaker 2: some guy you've dated for two to three months and
Speaker 2: went on a holiday with who you even have said
Speaker 2: you're not even sure if you're that invested in.
Speaker 3: Who you're going to prioritize on the drive home.
Speaker 1: The math a'e math.
Speaker 3: Okay, So if you have to make a choice here.
Speaker 2: And you don't want them to meet, the person you're
Speaker 2: having that conversation with is your boyfriend. Hey, we've had
Speaker 2: so much fun on this holiday. I've had a great time.
Speaker 2: I am not ready for you to meet my mom yet.
Speaker 2: So unfortunately we're not going to come home from the
Speaker 2: airport together. I'm going to go home with my mom
Speaker 2: because otherwise she's going to have two hour drive.
Speaker 3: That's awkward. That's an awkward chat.
Speaker 1: No, she might be digmatized totally, in which Kate, it's
Speaker 1: your mom stigmatizing is hard.
Speaker 2: Day left me at the fucking airport for some guy
Speaker 2: that she wasn't even sure she would introduce me to.
Speaker 4: After I sucked her.
Speaker 3: It would be so awful.
Speaker 1: Okay, I've got it.
Speaker 4: Picture this.
Speaker 3: I'm already mad at her and she's five, like, is
Speaker 3: she going to do this to me?
Speaker 1: This is what someone told me once when I was
Speaker 1: trying to make a hard decision.
Speaker 3: Closure eyes.
Speaker 4: Everyone doing this with me, okay, you're on there.
Speaker 3: Did you say something about a boat and you're not
Speaker 3: for sure?
Speaker 5: There's a boat.
Speaker 1: In the boat is your mom and the guy that
Speaker 1: you've been dating for two months, and the boat has
Speaker 1: a leaking hole in it and it's slowly going down,
Speaker 1: and neither of them can swim. It's my hypothetical, noniether
Speaker 1: of them can swim. You can only say one who
Speaker 1: is saving? I bet you you're saving your mom, so
Speaker 1: that means your mom can get in the car. That
Speaker 1: is a real thing that I was once told how
Speaker 1: to make a decision between two men.
Speaker 3: Was psychic. Twice they said the same story.
Speaker 2: He went to a psychic with help as to to choose,
Speaker 2: and that was there.
Speaker 3: That was their premonition.
Speaker 1: That was so funny because I took it really seriously.
Speaker 1: I was really with my eyes closed, thinking that my
Speaker 1: whole world was about to be changed. And then I
Speaker 1: when she's like, the boat has a hole. I was
Speaker 1: trying so hard not to laughs.
Speaker 3: I was like, I'd plug it. I'm plug a hole. Natually,
Speaker 3: it's hanging from a kliff. I like that one better.
Speaker 2: I don't think that this is as big a deal,
Speaker 2: but I think it can turn into a massive deal.
Speaker 2: If it was a fifteen minute car ride, if it
Speaker 2: was a half an hour car ride, I would go, oh, look, mom,
Speaker 2: you know, let's just go separate.
Speaker 3: We've got so much baggage.
Speaker 2: Whatever the excuse is, but a two hour car ride
Speaker 2: to leave your mum to try and get her own
Speaker 2: way home just seems really mean. And even if it
Speaker 2: is premature and you're not ready for them to meet,
Speaker 2: I guess my big questions would be, why why don't
Speaker 2: you want them to meet? Is it because you're embarrassed
Speaker 2: by your mom? Is it because you think he's.
Speaker 3: Gonna judge you?
Speaker 2: Because if your mom, is it because you're not sure
Speaker 2: if there's longevity in this relationship. All of these things
Speaker 2: can be managed. But the only thing I would want
Speaker 2: to say, and it comes up as a big conversation,
Speaker 2: a lot of people might feel embarrassed by their parents,
Speaker 2: or that their parents might do or say something that's embarrassing.
Speaker 2: So long as you have a good relationship with your parents, Like,
Speaker 2: it's different if your dad's an alcoholic or something and
Speaker 2: he's going to do something that's embarrassing, that's a very
Speaker 2: different conversation. I totally understand why some people want to
Speaker 2: put boundaries in place, but if you're just embarrassed by
Speaker 2: them just being who they are, that says way more
Speaker 2: about your insecurities than it does about your parents' personality.
Speaker 2: Because a guy who really likes you, who's invested in
Speaker 2: you and invested in your relationship, is absolutely not going
Speaker 2: to judge you because your parents are quirky. They're going
Speaker 2: to embrace that. And I genuinely, genuinely believe it. I
Speaker 2: have dated men who have had the quirkiest parents, and
Speaker 2: I have found it so endearing the way in which
Speaker 2: they have been protective over their parents and loved their
Speaker 2: parents regardless of their quirks. I haven't found that as
Speaker 2: being off putting.
Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean? So I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think, don't overthink it all, get in one big
Speaker 2: car together and let mum do a thing.
Speaker 1: Well. The only other thing is there could be a
Speaker 1: chance that you're having these feelings because you don't want
Speaker 1: him to think you're rushing it, like maybe you feel
Speaker 1: like the relationship isn't at the point of meeting the families,
Speaker 1: and I think that is also okay. He is going
Speaker 1: to understand how situational this is like a cool what
Speaker 1: a coincidence this is if you explain it, if you say, look,
Speaker 1: I get we're not there yet, and you know, like
Speaker 1: in an ideal world, I probably wouldn't have invited you
Speaker 1: over for dinner to meet my parents yet.
Speaker 4: But are you cool?
Speaker 1: If my mom comes home like we're laying for the
Speaker 1: same time, it's two hours, it's like, you know, I
Speaker 1: know it's not perfect. Tell him not driving to the
Speaker 1: airport to come and she's picking you up. She's not
Speaker 1: like I'm coming to get your honey.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do understand that that could be weird, but yeah,
Speaker 2: it's a road tripe. You guys are thirty five. If
Speaker 2: that freaks him out, then he's immature as well.
Speaker 1: We're out of here, guys, Thank you so much. If
Speaker 1: you have questions, please send him into Instagram, Lifeline Cut
Speaker 1: podcast put ask on cut at the top will keep
Speaker 1: you anonymous.
Speaker 2: Yeah, give us your spicy questions and you know we'll
Speaker 2: do our best to answer them.
Speaker 1: And you're accidentally unfiltered for asking cut follow ups after
Speaker 1: mass anything that you want us to know, please send
Speaker 1: them in.
Speaker 2: Also, if you've enjoyed the episodes, jump on leave us
Speaker 2: a review, wherever you listen to your podcast and you
Speaker 2: know the drill.
Speaker 4: Can I tell you something funny before we go?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm cringing a bit of myself. What Like we
Speaker 1: said at the start of the episode, We've got loads
Speaker 1: of really nice messages yesterday, both to the podcast, to you,
Speaker 1: Laura and to me about different things about you and
Speaker 1: like what you're going through about me and the dress
Speaker 1: and funny stuff. I also got messages about you as well.
Speaker 4: I got messages about.
Speaker 1: The three of us and how we made people feel.
Speaker 3: I was in day yeah, and it was wonderful.
Speaker 2: I think across all platforms there would have been thousands
Speaker 2: of messages yesterday.
Speaker 3: It was really really beautiful.
Speaker 1: Well, I read one that was really and like, there's
Speaker 1: a part of me I'm so appreciative, Like when we
Speaker 1: get these messages, it's so good because you're like I
Speaker 1: feel so good that we're making you feel good.
Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Do you feel good? Do you like that?
Speaker 4: But like this to beautiful.
Speaker 1: Messages, but they're private and the dms anyway, I wrote
Speaker 1: back to one girl who wrote a really nice one,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my god, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: It's literally the nicest review to receive, and I was like,
Speaker 1: if you wouldn't mind write and.
Speaker 5: Get public, can you write her if.
Speaker 1: You want Apple podcast? And I told her because I
Speaker 1: was like, wow, we literally got like one hundred people
Speaker 1: write these beautiful things. And I was like, if only
Speaker 1: some of these were on the Oh, I agree, I asked.
Speaker 1: I was like, do you mind putting that? And I don't.
Speaker 4: I should check if she's written back.
Speaker 2: I don't know if she's guys, I agree, you guys
Speaker 2: are always writing really nice stuff to us publicly put
Speaker 2: it off the let me see if she's written, write
Speaker 2: it for everyone.
Speaker 3: So it doesn't mean she double chapter.
Speaker 1: That's it.
Speaker 2: It doesn't count if the world can't see it, God damn.
Speaker 1: It can This is what she just said. I love
Speaker 1: you guys so so much. I'm from California and my
Speaker 1: sister and I listen to you guys while we cook.
Speaker 1: Then later on we talk about all the podcast points.
Speaker 2: Interestingly, I don't know if you know this, but the
Speaker 2: way Apple podcasts work, because we're based in Australia, you
Speaker 2: can't see international reviews. You can only see reviews that
Speaker 2: have been done with in Australia. But if you go
Speaker 2: on to like podhab or like whatever that keeps with
Speaker 2: them where you can check the reviews out.
Speaker 3: That's where you can see all the international ones.
Speaker 1: So I shot my shot with one person and it
Speaker 1: was the wrong person.
Speaker 4: It was in California.
Speaker 6: Yeah. Can I actually say we got a message last
Speaker 6: week and it was the most brilliant idea. And I've
Speaker 6: had friends say this about the podcast, but now we
Speaker 6: have a different medium.
Speaker 3: To do it.
Speaker 6: We got a message that said, my new Thursday night
Speaker 6: dinner with my partner is we come home, we put
Speaker 6: YouTube on and we watch the ask on questions and
Speaker 6: then we discuss our opinions on them. Perfect because the
Speaker 6: questions go up individually, so it's only like it can
Speaker 6: be from five to ten minutes, you know.
Speaker 5: And so they watch it and then they discuss amongst themselves.
Speaker 6: And my friends who do this have got such an
Speaker 6: insight into how their partner's mind thinks about different situations
Speaker 6: without them being in the scenario, Like without you having
Speaker 6: to have the argument or the situation happened to you,
Speaker 6: you get how your partner feels it.
Speaker 1: Well, to take this back to the start of the episode.
Speaker 3: What is happening now is now mounting a monstereer bleeding
Speaker 3: into the pod.
Speaker 1: Let me take you back to the monsteria, No, to
Speaker 1: take this back to the start, to the sauna. What
Speaker 1: is happening? Which I love is now that I've known
Speaker 1: some of the people that go there, but they're all
Speaker 1: men basically.
Speaker 4: But we will get into the.
Speaker 1: Sauna and they'll say to us, what were the questions
Speaker 1: this week? Like what was a really good question because
Speaker 1: they saw some of them that went viral online. And
Speaker 1: so now we get in and I'm to the guys,
Speaker 1: I rehash a question from asking cart and then we
Speaker 1: talk about it.
Speaker 3: In the sauna.
Speaker 1: There's like five men sweating in their dickies that are
Speaker 1: talking about like if she should tell him she's cheating
Speaker 1: or not, Like it's but I love the fact that
Speaker 1: people are talking to each other about people's life problems
Speaker 1: and they're really trying to go through what they were
Speaker 1: doing themselves. So I think that that's everyone's been doing it.
Speaker 2: We really self help generation, aren't we We do.
Speaker 6: We like to know how each other are thinking and feeling,
Speaker 6: but we don't like to have to go through it ourselves.
Speaker 3: It's like sipping tea on other people with.
Speaker 2: Life drop anyway, Guys, you know the drill.
Speaker 1: Tell your mom to dad, tell you don't tell your friends.
Speaker 4: I needed to take a break before I did that.
Speaker 1: And share the love to your mom tay, Dad, tell
Speaker 1: you don't tear friends, and share the love because we
Speaker 1: love love. H m hm