Speaker 1: Flex and Rooms Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex
Speaker 1: and Rooms catch up podcast, Sweety Pies.
Speaker 2: It is so great. Thursday Frooms is favorite day. Taking
Speaker 2: me a year and a half to remember that, but
Speaker 2: we're here now today we're chatting about the formalities around
Speaker 2: weddings and getting engaged at someone else's wedding.
Speaker 3: Would you do it? Would you not do it? Would
Speaker 3: you be mad if.
Speaker 1: Someone did it to you?
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: It's kind of like somebody at your birthday dropping that
Speaker 2: they're like, got a new partner.
Speaker 3: It's not your day.
Speaker 2: Go away, go away anyway, and maybe a single because
Speaker 2: your eyebrows aren't good. This is what's going around on
Speaker 2: the internet. Guys, we're just the messenger. Please, We're just
Speaker 2: the messenger. Missy Deely, enjoy it.
Speaker 3: You're listening to Flex and Frooms on Kaita.
Speaker 1: I was driving to work today and playing in the car.
Speaker 1: I have my car hooked up to Bluetooth so I
Speaker 1: can play my music through the speakers, which is such
Speaker 1: a fantastic experienced after many years of dealing with the
Speaker 1: plug in radio frequencies situation. Wow, you know a little yeah,
Speaker 1: it never had to, but it's a hard life. And
Speaker 1: yet I do it with stuff.
Speaker 2: Why would you sooner do that than just bringing a
Speaker 2: whole bluetooth speaker into your car that because you've.
Speaker 1: Gotta fiddle with it. It's not good.
Speaker 3: You just put it on shuffle. Yeah, nah, okay, no,
Speaker 3: it's fine anyway.
Speaker 1: So I'm going to work. I'm listening to the Imperfect
Speaker 1: podcast on my favorite podcast, but it's giving very much
Speaker 1: not super pump up vibes like fun fun Chat. Have
Speaker 1: you listened to it?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: I haven't, no fun Chat, but you know, sometimes I
Speaker 1: need a bit of our pick me up just before work.
Speaker 1: And tell me why I found a song that every
Speaker 1: time I listened to it. I've spoken about this on
Speaker 1: Instagram every time I listen to it.
Speaker 3: Not the recycled content always, babe.
Speaker 1: I want to cackle. A little bit of efferveescent bubble
Speaker 1: rises from my toes, all lay up into my.
Speaker 2: Gart This is one of my favorite things about you.
Speaker 2: Playful from the core, from the core.
Speaker 1: You've been playful your whole life.
Speaker 3: There may something years be serious, twenty four years.
Speaker 1: This is the song. Tell me if if everyone listening,
Speaker 1: do you feel this effervescent bubbles running up your legs?
Speaker 2: Soda water of the heart. I've never seen a more
Speaker 2: genuine smile from Free to reach her eyes in such.
Speaker 1: A severe way. There's like a glaze of joy over them.
Speaker 2: It's reflecting that did nothing for me in the sense
Speaker 2: that if my eyes were closed, nothing would come to
Speaker 2: the surface. But watching you be happy has made me happy.
Speaker 1: That's a macarena, ladies and gentlemen, a little known song
Speaker 1: from now. It's a fantastic song. It's the song with
Speaker 1: the dance and macarena as we all know. It just
Speaker 1: made me thinking, Yes, there are different ways to find
Speaker 1: joy in life, and one of them is listening to
Speaker 1: these weird fun songs.
Speaker 2: Just something about imagine them getting royalties of that song
Speaker 2: to this day.
Speaker 3: But imagine being able to make a hit like that.
Speaker 1: Just one hit, one hit. I used to think when
Speaker 1: I was going, oh, I'd hate to be one hit
Speaker 1: wonder it looks very.
Speaker 3: Appealing, stunning hut myself out.
Speaker 2: I currently hope for one hit, truly, don't ever shrink
Speaker 2: yourself out. The people who are still trying to make
Speaker 2: imagine being a Drake Drake has like ten albums of
Speaker 2: Rihanna nine ten hours.
Speaker 3: People like where is the new music? There is no
Speaker 3: new music.
Speaker 1: Just go back in the back cuddle, go to the
Speaker 1: back catalog.
Speaker 2: I'm sure there's a ton you have not heard yet
Speaker 2: and you have not memorized those looks.
Speaker 1: Go back, unfaithful, Rihanna give it up today. I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna come out and say it. Oh. If I hear
Speaker 1: one more person talk about red flags, oh, included, what
Speaker 1: are you going to do? I'm gonna bare my fists
Speaker 1: up into balls and girl and then get over it
Speaker 1: because it's really not that deep. Yeah, you'd emotionally regulate.
Speaker 1: We need to talk about red flags. So I came
Speaker 1: across this video of a guy that's compiled all of
Speaker 1: the red flags that women supposedly have of men, and
Speaker 1: he's kind of like debunking them, right And I watched
Speaker 1: it and I'll get it up for you right now,
Speaker 1: just as the team.
Speaker 2: Outside of the context of us discussing other people's red
Speaker 2: flags on this show or talking about friendship red flags
Speaker 2: and stuff, do we have any dating red flags that
Speaker 2: actually stick?
Speaker 1: We can't get into that now. I'll play the TikTok morning.
Speaker 4: Okay, ladies, you want to know why you're struggling to
Speaker 4: find the guy, all right?
Speaker 1: Because this is something I just got sent. Someone just
Speaker 1: sent me said can I send you the X from
Speaker 1: my girls group chat? So yeah, go for it. This
Speaker 1: is just one page of five. So on this page
Speaker 1: it's like where's skinny riped jeans? Doesn't like dogs? Has
Speaker 1: a bit moji? Uses an iPad? Like they're very arbitrary,
Speaker 1: kind of like I know that the next generation will
Speaker 1: look back at this current generation and the ick culture
Speaker 1: and be like that is this is like millennials first
Speaker 1: but first coffee? Does that make sense? Yes? Yes, this
Speaker 1: is a live laugh love of this current generation. But
Speaker 1: it got me thinking, why do we think things like
Speaker 1: white genes are an ick? Is it because we all like,
Speaker 1: who's the arbitra of the rules that say that white
Speaker 1: genes are not cool? Is it general fashion? Or is
Speaker 1: it like other Is there something deeper going on.
Speaker 3: Just white genes?
Speaker 1: Well, white genes is the one that stuck out to
Speaker 1: me because I'm like, it's kind of like a benign thing.
Speaker 1: But I get the same like skinny gene, white gene
Speaker 1: Chino situation, Like why is it that some people find it?
Speaker 1: Why is it like a universal ick?
Speaker 2: I'm less icky about fashion because I just really like
Speaker 2: when people have a personal sense of style, so I'm
Speaker 2: not really picky about the clothes that fit in that style.
Speaker 2: I just assigned positive characteristics people who think about the
Speaker 2: way that they present to the world. I like when
Speaker 2: I interact with people who I think have a considered
Speaker 2: idea of who they are and they want to express
Speaker 2: that through whatever that looks like to them.
Speaker 1: Cool. Okay, Well that's a really interesting point because I
Speaker 1: wonder people then that are like turned off by guys
Speaker 1: or girls that don't fit into this like very specific
Speaker 1: acceptable fashion code. If it's maybe they don't accept it
Speaker 1: because they don't accept themselves because they're really like playing
Speaker 1: into this like quote unquote fashion desire.
Speaker 2: And I think there's merit in that because I like
Speaker 2: a kookie, quirky type of person and like with a
Speaker 2: little something peculiar happening.
Speaker 3: So I'm going to take that as like.
Speaker 2: A the the consequence of dating someone peculiar.
Speaker 3: There'sn't a few pieces that you don't really like.
Speaker 1: You do what you can, but it's part of the
Speaker 1: broader tapestry of that person, definitely, But I reckon that
Speaker 1: what is an interesting thing to consider if you're someone
Speaker 1: who gets turned off by IX like that that are
Speaker 1: kind of something that someone can change about themselves is
Speaker 1: to think about, Yeah, what parts of yourself do you
Speaker 1: not ex because I think getting caught up on things
Speaker 1: that aren't really like value based. Like let's say you
Speaker 1: really want a relationship, but you keep up against these
Speaker 1: icks that like keep giving you like full on ick vibes.
Speaker 1: Go back and think, oh, what do I actually want?
Speaker 1: And then decide are the genes an ick because I
Speaker 1: actually think that they're unattractive? Or are they an ick
Speaker 1: because I don't accept myself and I don't want people
Speaker 1: to see me with this person who I think is
Speaker 1: a bad reflection on me. Mmmm. That's my key takeaway
Speaker 1: when I see this exhaustive list.
Speaker 2: Anytime I see IX and red flags that are used
Speaker 2: in a context that isn't completely joking, I just assume
Speaker 2: the person's emostally unavailable and it's trying to put a
Speaker 2: bow on it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, totally as.
Speaker 3: You should make it look good for yourself. Literally, Oh
Speaker 3: my god, it is flex and rooms on cat. Why
Speaker 3: are you single?
Speaker 2: Some unsuspecting stranger asks you, maybe it's a loved one.
Speaker 2: Actually yes, And then you smile and you nod.
Speaker 3: And you giggle.
Speaker 2: Hoping I'll just move the conversation along, and sometimes they
Speaker 2: do and oftentimes they don't. And so every now and
Speaker 2: then you might have to ask yourself, what am I single?
Speaker 2: And you go through the roller deck. Maybe I'm not attractive,
Speaker 2: Maybe I'm nobody's tired.
Speaker 3: Maybe it's just there's like no good fish in the
Speaker 3: sea anyware we ate the more.
Speaker 1: A lobster eight.
Speaker 2: But this TikToker, via the name Snooper snub R, talks
Speaker 2: about the power of persuasion and girl bossing and eyebrows
Speaker 2: and have all these things have got.
Speaker 3: Plenty more to do with your singleness than you think.
Speaker 4: In college, there's this lady who had a monopoly on
Speaker 4: the eyebrown industry, and to this day, I think her
Speaker 4: marketing tactic is one of the best I've ever seen.
Speaker 4: She got her start by targeting greek life, so she
Speaker 4: was the exclusive eyebrown lady for every sorority on campus.
Speaker 4: Because she targeted sorority, she was able to up her
Speaker 4: prices and getting her eyebrows done with her was like
Speaker 4: thirty five dollars. And her tagline was essentially, you're not ugly,
Speaker 4: your eyebrows just suck and that's why you don't have
Speaker 4: a boyfriend. So anytime she met anyone, she was like, oh,
Speaker 4: you're single, not for long, not for long. You won't
Speaker 4: be for long because I'm gonna touch your eyebrows.
Speaker 3: And the thing is, I.
Speaker 4: Don't know if it's manifestation or what. Every time someone
Speaker 4: got their eyebrows out with her, like less than a
Speaker 4: week or two after you would have a boyfriend, it
Speaker 4: was inevitable. Obviously, there's many reasons why this may be
Speaker 4: the case. But my best friend, for some reason, was
Speaker 4: really invested, and she's like, she's right, She's the only
Speaker 4: reason I'm single is because my eyebrows are bad. So
Speaker 4: she would fork over like forty dollars to get her
Speaker 4: eyebrows threaded by this person who was essentially.
Speaker 1: Just calling her ugly.
Speaker 4: And I was like, oh, you're getting the true Indian
Speaker 4: American experience because I exclusively go to Indian women so
Speaker 4: they can do like, you look prettier last time, and
Speaker 4: then I would pay them for it. Anyway, during lockdown,
Speaker 4: she would drive two and a half hours just to
Speaker 4: get her eyebrows done exclusively by this lady. After doing
Speaker 4: her eyebrows with this lady for two weeks, she also
Speaker 4: got a boyfriend after twenty plus years of being single
Speaker 4: in college, there's this lady who I'm an off.
Speaker 1: Now, I'm not gonna say that is not the reason.
Speaker 2: But if you're feeling some kind of desperate or you
Speaker 2: just seeking answers or looking for options. You've tried the apps,
Speaker 2: you tried going to your local Bunnings looking confused, you've
Speaker 2: tried meet and greets, you've tried speed dating, you tried
Speaker 2: blind dating, you tried the friend group and it's not working.
Speaker 3: Just go back to basics and try eyebrows. Just see
Speaker 3: how you go.
Speaker 1: Honestly, sometimes you just do need a second opinion to
Speaker 1: get a little bit of a refresh on the hair
Speaker 1: on the eyebrows. You know, you get stuck in your routines.
Speaker 1: If you're ready for it, definitely, if if you want
Speaker 1: to change, you want to shake.
Speaker 2: It up, because you know, I'm very sensitive, so I
Speaker 2: don't like asking for feedback at all, so beware.
Speaker 1: Yeah, don't give it unsolicited.
Speaker 3: That's it.
Speaker 2: No, don't ask for it if you're not ready for it.
Speaker 2: You don't go out to your you're nearest andjuriors.
Speaker 3: What could I change?
Speaker 1: Is that ratting off a few things. Don't do your
Speaker 1: spring form form? Clearly, I never used it. We got
Speaker 1: a listener submission. Wanted to know if they are rude?
Speaker 3: Not the right person to ask. My parameter is so off.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I feel like I'm being rude, no polite, or
Speaker 2: like there have been moments where I've tried to be
Speaker 2: the bigger person and not said something because I knew
Speaker 2: I was gonna say something shady, and it's come across.
Speaker 3: Me listening intently to you.
Speaker 5: I see the videos, babe. In my head, I'm like, Sometimes.
Speaker 1: Fruits will stop talking like is everything currently? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Why?
Speaker 1: And then I see the playback? Please continue? Ah, Flex
Speaker 1: and Frooms, I love your podcast. Isn't it considered rude?
Speaker 1: And they've just gone straight into it? I love this.
Speaker 1: Isn't it considered rude for your date or friend or
Speaker 1: person you're hanging out with to not introduce you to
Speaker 1: whoever they run into. I was just starting to date
Speaker 1: a guy and whenever we run into people he knew,
Speaker 1: he would literally ignore me. Even the person he would
Speaker 1: run into would look me in the eyes. This was
Speaker 1: a huge turn off for me and in my opinion,
Speaker 1: a sign of disrespect. He can call me a friend,
Speaker 1: or just say something like this is insert name here
Speaker 1: instead nothing, We're no longer dating upset devil face nice.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say this is a pet peeve of mine
Speaker 1: as well, Queen. It is very easy to say, hey, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm out myself. I never remembert anyone's name. Okay, So
Speaker 1: when I'm with somebody else in public and I'm going
Speaker 1: to run into you, let's say I know you well,
Speaker 1: I'm still the name is going ah ah, I'll say, hey,
Speaker 1: oh my god, have you met Roger. Like I'll be like, oh, hey,
Speaker 1: this is Roger. And then I just will like hope
Speaker 1: that Roger will be like, hey, I'm Roger and they'll
Speaker 1: be like, oh, my name's Lucy. Right. That's what I do.
Speaker 1: I could never have someone I don't like the idea
Speaker 1: of like being with someone there. They're just like sitting
Speaker 1: there like the may I please please yonder.
Speaker 2: There have been instances where I have not introduced the
Speaker 2: person i'm speaking to the person i'm with because I
Speaker 2: don't like the person I'm speaking to, because I don't
Speaker 2: want to invite them further into my life and spread
Speaker 2: the network wide open and provide context.
Speaker 1: It's similar to the way that.
Speaker 2: Like, you know, sometimes you receive an email from someone
Speaker 2: and you're like, just because you've sent it and it's landed,
Speaker 2: I'm not going to respond because I don't want to
Speaker 2: respond to what's in this email. I don't want to
Speaker 2: deal with it. Same with interactions. I really value the
Speaker 2: friends that I have, but I also have a ton
Speaker 2: of people that I interact with on a daily basis
Speaker 2: who I don't think it's necessary to rope them in
Speaker 2: or like bridge the gap between stranger and close person.
Speaker 3: To me, it's just not necessary.
Speaker 2: Sometimes if that's not the case, if we're at just
Speaker 2: like a communal house party or whatever, I won't introduce
Speaker 2: the person I'm with to the person who's saying hello.
Speaker 2: I don't want to have a bigger conversation than a
Speaker 2: fleeting high by, because if I can't do a high hi,
Speaker 2: this is Licinda gotta go.
Speaker 1: I'm a bit of that.
Speaker 3: But it's obvious.
Speaker 2: Oh really, I want to be I obvious in the
Speaker 2: way that it's sending mixed signals. I want it to
Speaker 2: be clear what I'm doing without having to say the words.
Speaker 1: I like that.
Speaker 3: So if I've heard a few feelings on the way
Speaker 3: I do understand, and.
Speaker 1: We unreservedly don't apologize, but there's definitely some empathy there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, in this instance, I see why you'd feel some
Speaker 2: kind of way.
Speaker 1: My wife and I, she's a female twenty six and
Speaker 1: I'm a male thirty two, got married two weeks ago.
Speaker 1: Cute at our reception, her cousin Rachel caught the bouquet.
Speaker 1: Apparently her boyfriend Ross had been carrying a ring around
Speaker 1: waiting for the right time to propose this is real
Speaker 1: and decided that when she was catching the bouquet that
Speaker 1: was a sign. So immediately after Rachel caught the bouquet,
Speaker 1: Ross ran out the dance floor and got down on
Speaker 1: money propose to her. She said yes, and obviously shifted
Speaker 1: the vibe onto them. Then the DJ played their song
Speaker 1: for a chance and derailed the next few things that
Speaker 1: we had planned. No, I was already not happy about
Speaker 1: this because we only had the photographer available for a
Speaker 1: short amount of time. My wife doesn't often do things
Speaker 1: for herself. We put a lot of money into the wedding.
Speaker 1: I decided to ask Ross and Rachel to leave, and
Speaker 1: at the time my wife agreed with me. So when
Speaker 1: I had the.
Speaker 3: Time, she said go get him king.
Speaker 1: So when I next had the chance, I pulled Ross
Speaker 1: aside to tell him I didn't appreciate him upstaging us
Speaker 1: and that I thought it'd be best if he and
Speaker 1: Rachel left early. Ross started arguing with me and said
Speaker 1: that I was acting nuts, which caused more of a
Speaker 1: scene than I expected. A few of the wedding guests
Speaker 1: overheard the conversation and jumped in with their opinions. It's
Speaker 1: a whole group activity. Ross and Rachel did ultimately decide
Speaker 1: to leave, but people were talking about them getting engaged
Speaker 1: and also making them out. Everyone was on our side,
Speaker 1: but even my wife and I weren't happy that people
Speaker 1: continue to talk about Rachel.
Speaker 3: This is a Barber Streie sound effect.
Speaker 1: My wife has since said that it was wrong to
Speaker 1: kick them out and we should have pretended to be
Speaker 1: happy for them in the moment, so it's not to
Speaker 1: ruin the night because people would have talked less about
Speaker 1: it that way. Rachel's mother has also complained to my
Speaker 1: wife's mother their sisters about me kicking them out. What oh,
Speaker 1: Rachel's the cousin, Because now this is the only thing
Speaker 1: anyone's going to remember about the wedding. I still do
Speaker 1: think that Ross and Rachel, mostly Ross, were arseholes in
Speaker 1: this situation. But was I also and saying, let's take
Speaker 1: a little break. You're on flexing frooms on catera ninety
Speaker 1: six point one or dab, not dad, but it's a dab.
Speaker 1: We'll be back right after the break. See then it's
Speaker 1: flex and frooms on catera. You have a wedding flex
Speaker 1: and in the wedding you toss the bouquet. Who catches it?
Speaker 1: Your cousin. Your cousin's partner decides this is an opportune
Speaker 1: time to get done on one knee and present her
Speaker 1: a ring. She says, yes, they are engaged at your wedding,
Speaker 1: thus derailing the evening. Are you the arsehole for then
Speaker 1: kicking them out? Yeah? Really, it's all just a bit much,
Speaker 1: isn't it.
Speaker 3: It's all just a bit much, isn't it.
Speaker 2: What I will say is the whole thing to me
Speaker 2: sounds exactly like the barber stride sound effect, which is
Speaker 2: when you draw attention to something by trying to conceal it.
Speaker 2: So in this instance the attention has already been drawn.
Speaker 2: By removing the people who are causing the attention, you
Speaker 2: draw more attention with their absence. So in that instance
Speaker 2: I would have given them a talking to and let
Speaker 2: them stew in the discomfort.
Speaker 3: I think I would even double down.
Speaker 2: I'll do a talking to or better yet, mum, can
Speaker 2: you go talk to so and so? Let someone else
Speaker 2: do it talking to give them a few dirtiest became
Speaker 2: a classy, Give a classy and let them stew in
Speaker 2: the discomfort of that, because that's insane behavior.
Speaker 1: Get the logic though, skep moment.
Speaker 2: We also have a love like perfect timing. But also
Speaker 2: the point about the photographer. We've only got a photographer
Speaker 2: for a few for a limited time.
Speaker 3: Don't waste the energy. I don't know. Yeah, you are
Speaker 3: the asshole.
Speaker 1: I think you're not the asshole on your day you
Speaker 1: can behave I think we need to bring in groom zillas,
Speaker 1: and this is a very groomzilla type thing to do.
Speaker 1: I think maybe it would have caused you less grief
Speaker 1: if you just let them shoe in their own discomfort
Speaker 1: as you say, yeah, share. However, sometimes you do just
Speaker 1: got to kick someone out.
Speaker 2: There's something about in that instance, the transference of asshole
Speaker 2: behavior is something you've got to be really careful about
Speaker 2: because We have a lot of these dilemmas come through
Speaker 2: when in trying to point out someone's asshole behavior, you
Speaker 2: then become the asshole.
Speaker 3: We want to avoid that it's not worth it. On
Speaker 3: your own wedding day, you are now the bad guy.
Speaker 1: I'm not about that lot.
Speaker 2: How many attendees one hundred, one fifty, let's say, two
Speaker 2: hundred flat two hundred people have now got it in
Speaker 2: their mouth that you are a groomzilla on your big day.
Speaker 2: Your own wife, who who was egging you on to
Speaker 2: go kick your cousin out, is also thinking you were
Speaker 2: doing too much.
Speaker 3: It's not worth it.
Speaker 1: You've been listening to The Flex and Froom's daily podcast.
Speaker 1: For more, Tune Indicator on DAB or stream it on iHeartRadio.