WEBVTT - Do You Need To Care When You’ve Offended Someone? 👿 0:00:01.480 --> 0:00:03.520 Flex and Frooms Flex and Frooms. 0:00:03.560 --> 0:00:08.440 This is the Flex and Frooms catch up podcast. 0:00:08.960 --> 0:00:13.520 Woo it's a flexing Frooms podcast. Really loving the podcast. 0:00:13.640 --> 0:00:16.800 Please do some five star reviews up in this beach. 0:00:16.920 --> 0:00:17.560 Well, what's going on? 0:00:17.600 --> 0:00:20.279 But I think we got like seven hundred. Could could 0:00:20.320 --> 0:00:20.760 be better. 0:00:21.320 --> 0:00:23.960 I mean everything could be better, but we're learning to 0:00:24.000 --> 0:00:26.400 be happy with where we're at. You're looking like someone 0:00:26.480 --> 0:00:28.160 right now and it's freaking me out. 0:00:28.560 --> 0:00:31.840 Goku. No, I've like gotten to the end of the 0:00:31.960 --> 0:00:34.159 day where I'm just trying to get the gel out 0:00:34.159 --> 0:00:37.159 of my hair and I look like Goku with the hair. Goku. 0:00:38.040 --> 0:00:42.400 You like those people say sushi, you know the ones, 0:00:42.400 --> 0:00:44.440 and I'm not gonna say it. I'm not gonna say 0:00:44.760 --> 0:00:47.839 they say cals on there, but they're not Italian sushi. 0:00:47.880 --> 0:00:50.800 For me, it's yogurt yoget your community. Shut up. 0:00:51.080 --> 0:00:54.480 You already know said do an even play like it's 0:00:54.520 --> 0:00:56.200 not directly from your lineage. 0:00:56.520 --> 0:01:02.520 Geez, let's go is flex and Rooms on Kata. 0:01:02.800 --> 0:01:05.679 Look, the girlies are going through it, namely because we 0:01:05.800 --> 0:01:08.720 have thoughts, and you know how that is. It's hard 0:01:08.959 --> 0:01:12.920 to big ask for a pretty girl two pretty girls. 0:01:15.040 --> 0:01:16.240 I have been spoken for. 0:01:16.720 --> 0:01:19.679 I was scrolling the tiki took the other day, as 0:01:19.680 --> 0:01:23.480 one does, came across this video. Can't remember who posted it, 0:01:23.560 --> 0:01:27.880 but they were talking about content creation and how with 0:01:28.120 --> 0:01:32.160 enough months, weeks, years on the platform, you will inherently offend. 0:01:31.840 --> 0:01:32.760 A lot of people. 0:01:33.280 --> 0:01:36.280 And what eventually happens is you start feeling really guilty 0:01:36.360 --> 0:01:40.440 and really fearful and ashamed that you common old you 0:01:40.520 --> 0:01:44.800 could be able to incite so much frustration another person, 0:01:44.920 --> 0:01:47.319 and then you get numb and then you stop caring. 0:01:48.280 --> 0:01:51.960 And based on that conversation, a moral dilemma came to me, 0:01:52.000 --> 0:01:55.680 and I was thinking, at what point do you have 0:01:55.760 --> 0:01:59.200 to care when you've offended someone? Because not all offense 0:01:59.480 --> 0:02:03.640 is intentional, not all offense is directed where it lands, 0:02:04.000 --> 0:02:06.880 not all offense is your business anyway. Someone is just 0:02:06.960 --> 0:02:10.160 inherent And I was thinking, we need a tearless like 0:02:10.200 --> 0:02:12.520 a comprehensive guy. But even before that, we need to 0:02:12.560 --> 0:02:15.959 discuss situations in which we've offended people and not even 0:02:16.040 --> 0:02:18.079 known and have had to bear the brunt of that, 0:02:18.600 --> 0:02:21.040 situations in which we intended to offend it and did 0:02:21.080 --> 0:02:23.360 not land And like you didn't see that? I hate 0:02:23.400 --> 0:02:28.000 her though, And also like if we can figure out personally, 0:02:28.040 --> 0:02:31.040 like where our scale is, Like, do you think that 0:02:31.639 --> 0:02:33.520 now you spend so much time on the internet, you're 0:02:33.520 --> 0:02:36.840 more immune to this idea that the stranger on the 0:02:36.840 --> 0:02:40.399 other side is offended by what you wore or how 0:02:40.440 --> 0:02:43.280 you look, or how you said something or what they 0:02:43.360 --> 0:02:45.760 thought you in third but was actually quite opposite from 0:02:45.800 --> 0:02:46.280 the reality. 0:02:46.400 --> 0:02:47.320 Who bloody knows? 0:02:47.520 --> 0:02:50.840 I reckon we start like the most bottom of the 0:02:50.880 --> 0:02:56.640 barrel level of offense is like prejudice, racism. People just 0:02:56.680 --> 0:02:59.000 don't like our vibes, they don't like our vibe, whatever 0:02:59.040 --> 0:02:59.560 it might be. 0:03:00.000 --> 0:03:03.440 Are we talking about ourselves specifically, yeah, personal experience experienced 0:03:03.560 --> 0:03:04.840 us Yeah, yeah, let's just. 0:03:04.800 --> 0:03:06.960 Say bottom of the barrel. I would say with like, 0:03:07.520 --> 0:03:11.680 offense broadly is where we don't have to feel bad 0:03:11.760 --> 0:03:12.640 or apologize. 0:03:12.800 --> 0:03:15.359 Is just for the way we are, the way. 0:03:15.240 --> 0:03:18.480 We look, the way we came out the womb, like 0:03:18.800 --> 0:03:22.079 a nationality, ethnicity, like it just is what it is. 0:03:22.160 --> 0:03:26.480 I cannot apologize broadly for Australia, unfortunately, it's. 0:03:26.360 --> 0:03:28.520 Just I'm not gonna hold that. I'm so sorry. 0:03:29.360 --> 0:03:31.720 The second level of offense that I think that we 0:03:31.760 --> 0:03:38.160 don't have to care about is personal opinions that we 0:03:38.360 --> 0:03:42.440 actually feel strongly about Yes, correct. It gets to a 0:03:42.480 --> 0:03:45.119 point where I can't be apologetic because we don't share 0:03:45.160 --> 0:03:50.640 a similar view on a thing. Sometimes we just don't agree, 0:03:50.800 --> 0:03:54.360 so I might say, or for example, we have our 0:03:54.440 --> 0:03:57.160 rules for life, and one of your rules for life 0:03:57.200 --> 0:04:00.360 is that on a first date it should be and 0:04:00.360 --> 0:04:02.920 both parties should pay. If someone came back and said 0:04:02.960 --> 0:04:06.000 that's really offensive, you know one party has put in 0:04:06.000 --> 0:04:08.400 a lot more effort than the other party. I just 0:04:08.440 --> 0:04:10.480 feel like, la la, la, la la, it's white noise 0:04:10.520 --> 0:04:10.680 to me. 0:04:10.760 --> 0:04:11.440 I'm not listening. 0:04:12.120 --> 0:04:14.320 Just have your opinion and go totally. It's not on 0:04:14.440 --> 0:04:17.360 me to shoulder that. It's all good. I'm not mad, 0:04:17.360 --> 0:04:21.000 you're not mad. Let's get a pushing thirtier. I've said 0:04:21.000 --> 0:04:24.839 something offensive. It was uninformed. I did in fact check. 0:04:25.279 --> 0:04:30.040 I was rowdy. You know, the joke didn't land. Sometimes 0:04:30.080 --> 0:04:32.880 you gotta cop it, boopsie. Sometimes you just have. 0:04:32.839 --> 0:04:35.080 To cop if it lands and it's offensive. 0:04:36.080 --> 0:04:37.560 You know what I mean For. 0:04:37.600 --> 0:04:39.359 That one, I'm not going to grovel. 0:04:40.240 --> 0:04:42.120 I'm not getting on my hands and knees and be 0:04:42.240 --> 0:04:45.520 like hey, but I will say you probably. 0:04:45.320 --> 0:04:47.919 Do have to care. We also talk about behavior of 0:04:47.920 --> 0:04:50.799 people that are offended, Like, what's their right of reply? 0:04:51.600 --> 0:04:53.560 Do they have to accept any apology? 0:04:54.600 --> 0:04:59.479 Well, I feel like no, in the same way, we 0:04:59.520 --> 0:05:03.640 don't have to accept the offense. I remember, I have 0:05:03.800 --> 0:05:06.920 this core memory. It's a bit fuzzy, but it's one 0:05:06.960 --> 0:05:10.080 of the last times I ever engaged in that back 0:05:10.120 --> 0:05:13.600 and forth. Someone's misinterpreted what I've said or gone back 0:05:13.600 --> 0:05:16.800 and forth or whatever. And I remember I was like 0:05:16.920 --> 0:05:22.480 in Marrickville. I was driving and I stopped because I 0:05:22.520 --> 0:05:23.560 got a call, and I was like, Oh, I'm just 0:05:23.600 --> 0:05:25.800 gonna chill for a bit. It's peak out anyway. And 0:05:25.839 --> 0:05:27.960 so I was on the call on one on the 0:05:28.360 --> 0:05:31.080 car play and I was scrolling through my Instagram dms 0:05:31.120 --> 0:05:32.640 and someone sent me a DM and they were popping 0:05:33.080 --> 0:05:35.359 off and I don't even know what it was about, 0:05:35.360 --> 0:05:37.719 but I do remember being like, that's not even what 0:05:37.760 --> 0:05:40.480 I said. Like you're arguing a point I didn't even make. 0:05:40.839 --> 0:05:42.480 I could make it up. I could have been like 0:05:43.839 --> 0:05:46.840 I'm capitalism's handmaiden and that's why I work really hard. 0:05:46.839 --> 0:05:50.839 And then they were like, you're saying that working class 0:05:50.880 --> 0:05:53.320 people don't deserve rights, and like, what are you even 0:05:53.440 --> 0:05:53.880 arguing about? 0:05:53.880 --> 0:05:55.240 It was this whole paragraph. 0:05:55.520 --> 0:05:56.680 I went back and I was like, I don't think 0:05:56.680 --> 0:05:58.360 you understood what I meant, but like this is what 0:05:58.400 --> 0:05:59.720 I meant. And they were like no, no, no, this 0:05:59.760 --> 0:06:01.840 and this and this, and I was like, I think 0:06:01.880 --> 0:06:04.000 I was sitting there for about thirty minutes, and I 0:06:04.040 --> 0:06:05.680 was like, I just don't understand what you want me 0:06:05.760 --> 0:06:09.039 to say, because even if I apologize, you've already seen 0:06:09.080 --> 0:06:11.520 this last thirty minutes of conversation where I didn't understand 0:06:11.560 --> 0:06:14.359 and I wasn't apologizing. If I just plack at you, 0:06:14.400 --> 0:06:17.520 it's not gonna sit well. Went back forth, back and forth, 0:06:17.560 --> 0:06:19.120 back and forth, and I'm. 0:06:18.920 --> 0:06:20.080 Like, you don't even care. 0:06:21.080 --> 0:06:23.520 You don't care because the part of you that cared 0:06:23.560 --> 0:06:27.240 about this being resolved died when you DM. 0:06:27.000 --> 0:06:31.400 Me facts violence, violence, violence was jokes. 0:06:31.440 --> 0:06:33.320 And I was sitting here and I was like, I'm 0:06:33.360 --> 0:06:36.400 really taking this on, Like I was feeling so anxious, 0:06:36.760 --> 0:06:39.800 my vision was going blurry, my heart was beating because 0:06:39.839 --> 0:06:44.000 this person was pissed, and I just didn't know. Like 0:06:44.200 --> 0:06:46.640 it's almost like I didn't have the vocabulary or the 0:06:46.640 --> 0:06:49.120 empathy to be like, I just don't know what to 0:06:49.240 --> 0:06:53.400 care about because I acknowledge that you're upset. But I 0:06:53.400 --> 0:06:55.320 didn't even like, I didn't even say what you think 0:06:55.360 --> 0:06:57.640 I said. And so now I'm like, it's your problem, 0:06:57.680 --> 0:07:00.480 is it my problem? So in terms of the people 0:07:00.560 --> 0:07:05.640 who who, what do we call the offended? Yes, the offended, 0:07:06.800 --> 0:07:14.640 I would say, if the message is broad, yes, I'm 0:07:14.680 --> 0:07:19.640 gonna care less about the offended. As in, if the 0:07:19.640 --> 0:07:21.600 thing you said is broad, yes, if it was like 0:07:21.640 --> 0:07:24.720 an over generalization, if I was like, I'm not dating 0:07:24.720 --> 0:07:25.920 people who are still from the supermarket. 0:07:26.480 --> 0:07:28.400 If you come to me one on one with a 0:07:28.720 --> 0:07:30.240 like neually, I don't care. 0:07:30.480 --> 0:07:32.000 That's a bit of a hard one though, because that's 0:07:32.040 --> 0:07:36.760 like illegal. 0:07:34.920 --> 0:07:37.600 Whatever it is, right, if I've said something broadly, off 0:07:37.640 --> 0:07:42.080 the cuff, whatever, and it's landed somewhere in your vicinity 0:07:42.200 --> 0:07:43.520 and it's really hit. 0:07:43.360 --> 0:07:46.480 A spot, hold it, hold it. 0:07:47.160 --> 0:07:51.960 If I've said, in particular, this particular thing, I'm really 0:07:52.120 --> 0:07:57.400 sick of girls who wear pinstriped their suits with tattoos, 0:07:57.840 --> 0:08:01.840 who have hombred. Now get on my nerves or whatever, 0:08:02.320 --> 0:08:05.560 and you happen to fit all that criteria and it's personal. 0:08:05.680 --> 0:08:08.360 Come talk to me, and I'm gonna see what we 0:08:08.400 --> 0:08:10.440 can do. I'm gonna see what we can do, but 0:08:10.560 --> 0:08:13.800 I just can't. Like if something I say just happens 0:08:13.840 --> 0:08:16.520 to land in your vicinity by virtue of an algorithm, 0:08:16.880 --> 0:08:18.720 or like you overheard, leave me out of it. 0:08:18.760 --> 0:08:21.240 I'm so sorry, Like it feels. 0:08:20.920 --> 0:08:23.960 Like a you problem because you don't know me enough 0:08:24.000 --> 0:08:24.800 for me to coddle you. 0:08:25.480 --> 0:08:25.920 Facts. 0:08:26.240 --> 0:08:28.760 What kind of apology could I get from a stranger 0:08:28.800 --> 0:08:30.320 on the internet. That's gonna be like, Yeah, that's what 0:08:30.400 --> 0:08:32.480 I needed. You know what I need a hug from 0:08:32.480 --> 0:08:34.040 my mum and a back rum. 0:08:34.320 --> 0:08:38.520 Respectfully, thank you, Oh the Internet. 0:08:39.640 --> 0:08:40.959 I do think it's something that we all need to 0:08:41.000 --> 0:08:45.080 think about, because I remember I read I watched this 0:08:45.160 --> 0:08:48.800 ted talk by Sarah Knight. I think it's called the 0:08:48.800 --> 0:08:53.000 Magic of not giving a fuck, okay, And the concept 0:08:53.080 --> 0:08:55.400 that she references is this idea that we all have 0:08:55.559 --> 0:08:58.000 a finite amount of fucks to give and that we 0:08:58.000 --> 0:08:59.199 need to be a lot more discerning about what we 0:08:59.200 --> 0:09:01.160 actually give a fuck about. So you figure out what 0:09:01.200 --> 0:09:03.920 your fuck buckets are, and then you allocate and you 0:09:03.920 --> 0:09:06.200 put stuff in them. So if I really give a 0:09:06.240 --> 0:09:10.280 fuck about my friends, you know, my inner circle, it's 0:09:10.320 --> 0:09:13.160 gotta be like my top ten, maybe the twenty around them. 0:09:13.679 --> 0:09:15.880 I don't have you a party friend on the fringe. 0:09:15.960 --> 0:09:16.680 I'm so sorry. 0:09:17.120 --> 0:09:17.680 Sorry about that. 0:09:17.880 --> 0:09:20.000 In the content of the party, I got you. But 0:09:20.120 --> 0:09:22.120 on the day to day I can only really give 0:09:22.160 --> 0:09:25.120 a fuck about the besties and my family, you know 0:09:25.160 --> 0:09:30.840 what I mean. Maybe I care a lot about psychology 0:09:31.200 --> 0:09:36.160 and philosophy for me broadly, right, but I don't really 0:09:36.160 --> 0:09:38.160 give a fuck to be debating people on the internet 0:09:38.200 --> 0:09:38.719 about it. 0:09:39.280 --> 0:09:41.280 And like I didn't know that distinction before. 0:09:41.360 --> 0:09:43.640 I was like, I must love the whole experience, right, 0:09:44.360 --> 0:09:47.800 or like I really love talking about things I'm interested in, right, 0:09:47.960 --> 0:09:50.720 I really give a fuck about that. But talking about 0:09:50.720 --> 0:09:53.240 things I'm interested in to people who don't find it 0:09:53.320 --> 0:09:56.200 interesting probably not totally. So maybe I'm not gonna put 0:09:56.200 --> 0:09:58.640 so much energy towards that. And that is really like 0:09:58.960 --> 0:10:02.319 a refreshing way to like view your interactions because unfortunately, 0:10:02.559 --> 0:10:06.559 and I hate cliches, but people really are gonna dislike 0:10:06.559 --> 0:10:08.760 you for no reason anyway, So to be the most 0:10:08.800 --> 0:10:13.040 well rounded, nice, patient, kind person and someone will still 0:10:13.080 --> 0:10:14.480 say I don't trust nice people. 0:10:14.920 --> 0:10:17.880 There's always away, there's always away. Well, this is interesting. 0:10:17.920 --> 0:10:22.880 I think we can keep going on about it. But oh, flexis. 0:10:22.480 --> 0:10:24.600 Sorry, light is on shining a torch. 0:10:25.200 --> 0:10:28.760 So Boomer of you, this is a this is a 0:10:28.800 --> 0:10:30.760 contentious one, I think definitely. 0:10:31.200 --> 0:10:33.520 And I think it's it's not like a rules for life. 0:10:33.559 --> 0:10:37.880 It's one that requires case by case by case basis. 0:10:38.200 --> 0:10:40.280 But I would say, as a standard, I'm not holding 0:10:40.280 --> 0:10:42.000 shit that's not mine. And the Internet wants to do 0:10:42.040 --> 0:10:43.040 that every day. 0:10:42.880 --> 0:10:43.480 They don't. 0:10:43.480 --> 0:10:46.680 They leave me out of it, please flex and froods. 0:10:46.720 --> 0:10:49.720 On occasion, our producer brook sets me up for failure, 0:10:49.880 --> 0:10:53.679 I would say, yeah, never, don't say that. And at 0:10:53.679 --> 0:10:57.199 times I take good what do you call it assassination? Yeah, 0:10:57.320 --> 0:10:59.720 At times, FLEXI, I will take the bait. And today's 0:10:59.720 --> 0:11:02.400 one of the times. I'm doing the eight Saint Challenge 0:11:02.760 --> 0:11:06.560 where Brookie has brought along five nationalities, all of which 0:11:06.559 --> 0:11:08.920 I could be from, and I have to take a 0:11:08.920 --> 0:11:11.520 stab at them. Have a listened to the original TikTok Place? 0:11:12.120 --> 0:11:16.640 American I wish I could, but I don't want to. Standard, 0:11:16.679 --> 0:11:19.640 British I wish I could, but I don't want to. 0:11:20.360 --> 0:11:24.079 Devin Sure, I wish I could, but I don't want to. 0:11:24.320 --> 0:11:27.439 German I wish I could, but I don't find too. 0:11:28.960 --> 0:11:32.800 This is really scary, so I want to be attempting the German, 0:11:33.240 --> 0:11:36.319 but I do have a few flexes in my personal health. Okay, 0:11:36.400 --> 0:11:39.719 let's start, please, Brookie with the first Australian. You put 0:11:39.720 --> 0:11:41.560 the lime in the coconut and you mix it all up. 0:11:41.720 --> 0:11:43.520 Do you want to try a few different versions of Australian. 0:11:43.520 --> 0:11:44.240 I think you're cheating. 0:11:44.480 --> 0:11:47.280 Nah, that's it, okay, Irish. 0:11:48.160 --> 0:11:49.640 I'm trying to practice being supportive. 0:11:50.520 --> 0:11:52.280 You put the lame in the corconut, you mix it 0:11:52.320 --> 0:11:55.760 all loop. That's Irish? Is it runs run of pause? 0:11:56.600 --> 0:11:59.880 Thank you? Thank you? Georady. I don't know what that is. 0:12:01.559 --> 0:12:05.280 It's like Liverpool, like Jordy, sure, yeah, like Scouse. All right, 0:12:05.600 --> 0:12:07.319 you put the lame in the coconut, you mix it 0:12:07.360 --> 0:12:10.040 all lop. Is that Irish? No? 0:12:10.200 --> 0:12:12.280 I feel like I that might be it. 0:12:12.760 --> 0:12:16.079 Okay, that's Journy Scottish. You put the lame in the 0:12:16.160 --> 0:12:18.960 coconut and you mix it all up. I just feel 0:12:19.000 --> 0:12:25.559 like it's all just like alternate froofs. It's American American. 0:12:25.920 --> 0:12:28.640 Oh I hate this. You put the lime in the coconut. 0:12:29.000 --> 0:12:35.959 Oh that's awful. Next one, okay, you Scottish. That's God's 0:12:35.960 --> 0:12:40.520 why I'm saying against Okay, standard British. I'm gonna know 0:12:40.679 --> 0:12:43.840 this standard British. You put the lime in the coconut 0:12:43.960 --> 0:12:48.360 and you mix it all up, and that's on that answer, 0:12:48.400 --> 0:12:56.160 Strange said, you can't know this cis I'll do Scottish 0:12:56.160 --> 0:12:58.920 for you one. What time it's a final Scottish You 0:12:59.040 --> 0:13:00.599 put the lome in the core? Can I send you 0:13:00.640 --> 0:13:02.719 mix it all up? Nailed that one? 0:13:03.160 --> 0:13:10.920 Why did it sound exactly like Irish? And children? And 0:13:11.040 --> 0:13:13.160 at this one I can't tell feel really really good 0:13:13.240 --> 0:13:17.600 or really really bad? Like she nailing this or that's 0:13:17.679 --> 0:13:18.920 exposure therapy. 0:13:20.720 --> 0:13:23.600 Keters, flex and frooms, flex and frooms. 0:13:23.920 --> 0:13:26.120 You know how? I don't know. Ten years ago on 0:13:26.280 --> 0:13:27.240 the news they. 0:13:27.160 --> 0:13:30.640 Were like everybody's lonely loneliness epidemic and they just have 0:13:30.800 --> 0:13:33.840 not like revised that data because it's gotten worse. People 0:13:33.880 --> 0:13:37.560 don't have friends, then I have like community support networks, nothing. 0:13:38.360 --> 0:13:41.559 And on occasion when I posed a question to my 0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:45.000 various audiences to ask me questions, one of the top 0:13:45.120 --> 0:13:47.280 three is how do you make friends? As someone who 0:13:47.320 --> 0:13:50.319 has plenty of friends? I don't know because I kept 0:13:50.360 --> 0:13:52.760 mine from back in the days and also scooped them 0:13:52.840 --> 0:13:55.040 up from like work, and pe to ps and like 0:13:55.160 --> 0:13:58.160 mutual friends. But I saw this TikTok the other day 0:13:58.200 --> 0:14:01.440 and I said, you know what, that's a but nobody 0:14:01.480 --> 0:14:02.120 wants to do that. 0:14:02.679 --> 0:14:03.160 Listen to this. 0:14:03.640 --> 0:14:05.839 If you want to make new friends, I think you 0:14:05.920 --> 0:14:08.679 should be posting on social media. I think we are 0:14:09.080 --> 0:14:12.199 as isolated as ever. Sex drive as a whole is 0:14:12.320 --> 0:14:15.719 down in our generation, depression is up. And I was 0:14:15.760 --> 0:14:17.600 talking to my brother about this, how like I feel 0:14:17.600 --> 0:14:19.600 like in your mid twenties, it's really hard to make 0:14:19.680 --> 0:14:22.440 new friends. Like you're not in college anymore, you're not 0:14:22.560 --> 0:14:24.480 meeting new people. The only time you're meeting new people 0:14:24.560 --> 0:14:27.920 is like through dating apps or online like on social media, 0:14:28.160 --> 0:14:29.760 or you're like running into them at work or through 0:14:29.800 --> 0:14:31.960 mutual friends. But it's not as easy as it used 0:14:31.960 --> 0:14:33.520 to be when you were younger to meet new people. 0:14:33.920 --> 0:14:36.080 And I think posting is a really good way to 0:14:36.160 --> 0:14:38.800 remind people that, like, you're out there, you're living your life, 0:14:38.840 --> 0:14:40.520 and these are the things you're doing, you're interested in. 0:14:40.800 --> 0:14:42.920 Social media has turned into this really weird space where 0:14:42.920 --> 0:14:44.840 it's a career for a lot of people, and a 0:14:44.880 --> 0:14:46.360 lot of people are like, oh, you should post a 0:14:46.400 --> 0:14:47.640 lot to like grow a career. 0:14:48.600 --> 0:14:50.920 You don't. If you're not interested in doing that, don't 0:14:50.960 --> 0:14:51.120 do that. 0:14:51.600 --> 0:14:55.160 But I think like posting as a casual social media 0:14:55.280 --> 0:14:59.240 user is important to make new friends. Posting the activities 0:14:59.280 --> 0:15:02.360 you do in your free time, whether it's pottery, rock climbing, hiking, 0:15:02.920 --> 0:15:04.960 and you will be surprised by the amount of people 0:15:04.960 --> 0:15:06.560 who swep up and be like, hey, oh my god, 0:15:06.560 --> 0:15:08.800 I would love to join you rock climbing. Like when 0:15:08.920 --> 0:15:11.480 I post the activities I do, I have so many 0:15:11.560 --> 0:15:13.320 of my friends hit me up being like I've always 0:15:13.320 --> 0:15:15.040 wanted to start doing that, Like can we do that together? 0:15:15.440 --> 0:15:18.120 But if I never posted the activities I was doing, 0:15:18.200 --> 0:15:19.840 these people wouldn't know that I'm doing them. 0:15:20.000 --> 0:15:24.280 Is the sad thing I gotta say. I stand it's true. Absolutely, 0:15:24.400 --> 0:15:25.240 it's so true. 0:15:25.320 --> 0:15:26.520 I've used a similar tactic. 0:15:26.800 --> 0:15:30.960 If I'm going overseas solo dolo or with one friend 0:15:31.000 --> 0:15:32.360 and we know you want to go out or go 0:15:32.560 --> 0:15:35.600 to cool things only locals would know. I'll literally go 0:15:35.920 --> 0:15:40.040 online and find fellow Blue Tickers and be like, hey, hey, 0:15:40.160 --> 0:15:42.560 head sign, I'm coming. 0:15:42.960 --> 0:15:43.520 Work's a tree. 0:15:43.720 --> 0:15:45.240 You gotta be down to be a good time, though, 0:15:45.280 --> 0:15:48.320 because you can't like proposition someone with friendship and then 0:15:48.440 --> 0:15:50.480 not shop with like ten out of ten energy. 0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:55.360 One first for knowledge and experience and perhaps pay for 0:15:55.440 --> 0:15:57.040 their dinner. Yeah, do something like that. 0:15:57.400 --> 0:16:01.360 It's in exchange, a transaction, but a really one. She's 0:16:01.400 --> 0:16:03.640 so right in saying, that's Victoria Paris by the way 0:16:03.680 --> 0:16:07.160 from TikTok, that people are so used to perceiving social 0:16:07.240 --> 0:16:11.560 media as like a professional landscape. Like if you're posting, 0:16:11.600 --> 0:16:17.960 it's for work, it's for money. No social network, social media. 0:16:18.440 --> 0:16:22.400 Your best friend is in the comments of some beef 0:16:22.560 --> 0:16:24.760 on TikTok right now, go and find them. 0:16:25.040 --> 0:16:27.520 They're waiting for you. Oh so like reply to beefy 0:16:27.600 --> 0:16:29.600 tiktoks and just get in the comments. 0:16:29.720 --> 0:16:33.080 Get like a lot of people just are passive participants, 0:16:33.160 --> 0:16:35.400 you know, like you join the Facebook group to not 0:16:35.480 --> 0:16:38.920 post anything, Like you see the comments, you screenshot them 0:16:38.960 --> 0:16:41.560 to send to your non existent group chat get in there. 0:16:41.960 --> 0:16:46.240 Oh no not? Oh yay, vibes that up, vibes up 0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:51.000 interesting interesting chat FLEXI Okay, thanks. I don't know if 0:16:51.000 --> 0:16:53.440 I'll be doing that, but I will say you got 0:16:53.520 --> 0:16:56.040 heaps of friends. I try hard, and you really do. 0:16:56.280 --> 0:16:57.960 Oh it hasn't always been the case. I've been very 0:16:58.000 --> 0:17:00.360 lonely at certain times and felt like I haven't fit in. 0:17:00.840 --> 0:17:02.360 So I just want to say, if you feel lonely, 0:17:02.440 --> 0:17:04.440 like you don't have a group chat or you don't 0:17:04.440 --> 0:17:09.000 have enough friends, circumstances change. Really popular people can become unpopular. 0:17:09.119 --> 0:17:11.600 Oh and it can go vice versa. It's never too 0:17:11.680 --> 0:17:15.520 late to make friends. That's not that you could fall off. 0:17:16.240 --> 0:17:18.720 Oh they could fall off and then you could swip in. 0:17:20.040 --> 0:17:23.840 You're listening to Flex and Frooms on kit FLEXI tell 0:17:23.880 --> 0:17:26.720 me why I was at a five star dinner oh 0:17:26.840 --> 0:17:28.760 the other night, a Hubert in Sydney. It's one of 0:17:28.800 --> 0:17:33.120 the premier dining establishments in Sydney. C bdber it's you bet, 0:17:33.280 --> 0:17:35.800 it probably is. I don't know though, Like it's one 0:17:35.800 --> 0:17:38.440 of those things with French or like I Betha. You 0:17:38.520 --> 0:17:40.560 feel like an idiot saying I Betha. What would you 0:17:40.680 --> 0:17:43.440 rather sound like a pompous git saying I Betha or 0:17:43.440 --> 0:17:47.080 an uncultured swan? I say I befa, And there's just 0:17:47.160 --> 0:17:48.919 like a little twinkle behind people's eye. 0:17:50.119 --> 0:17:53.240 Did you really go for that bath alone? And you 0:17:53.240 --> 0:17:53.800 would do too? 0:17:54.720 --> 0:17:58.560 Facts. I was at this establishment and I was drinking 0:17:58.960 --> 0:18:02.160 mocktails a bit of a sober moment that night. Tell 0:18:02.200 --> 0:18:07.040 me why my third mocktail, I hint of egg washes 0:18:07.080 --> 0:18:11.320 over my whole frontal area of my face. I'm taking 0:18:11.800 --> 0:18:15.000 so excited for this twenty five dollar mocktail. Go for 0:18:15.040 --> 0:18:19.320 a little sipsip. The stench of egg is not only 0:18:19.520 --> 0:18:22.199 in my nose and my mouth, but in the back palate, 0:18:22.440 --> 0:18:25.359 like festering face. Note it was a base note of 0:18:25.600 --> 0:18:28.360 straight off egg, and I thought to myself, the egg 0:18:28.480 --> 0:18:30.240 is eating too hard. Obviously I put out my story. 0:18:30.440 --> 0:18:33.359 Somebody swoops in sends me a message, my friend Claire, 0:18:34.040 --> 0:18:35.320 and what did she say? I think she's in the 0:18:35.400 --> 0:18:36.320 room and has a microphone. 0:18:36.359 --> 0:18:39.840 No you think, oh that you can risk getting salmonella 0:18:39.880 --> 0:18:41.200 from having raw egg and cocktail. 0:18:41.320 --> 0:18:44.159 That is crazy? So this does what happened to you? No? 0:18:44.240 --> 0:18:45.320 I used to work in a bar. Do you know 0:18:45.400 --> 0:18:46.440 what the worst thing is? 0:18:47.080 --> 0:18:50.639 As someone who's learning how to drink, I've identified my 0:18:50.800 --> 0:18:55.520 favorite cocktails are an Amorta sour and Scary sour. Amereta 0:18:55.560 --> 0:18:57.280 sour has a lot of egg white. But I went 0:18:57.359 --> 0:19:00.680 to this bar once and it's at Aqua Farber, and 0:19:00.760 --> 0:19:02.000 I was like, I don't know what that is? So 0:19:02.040 --> 0:19:05.560 I googled it and it's chickpeas. That the liquid of 0:19:05.600 --> 0:19:09.000 the chickpea that's whisked to give the same flavor profile 0:19:09.080 --> 0:19:11.920 and depth as the egg white thing. 0:19:12.119 --> 0:19:12.680 So let's do that. 0:19:12.800 --> 0:19:13.720 So try to poison me. 0:19:14.320 --> 0:19:17.200 So just one more question to Claire, the previous bartender. 0:19:17.560 --> 0:19:20.720 Had you ever given someone please not. 0:19:20.800 --> 0:19:22.639 That I'm aware of, No, but we definitely gave them 0:19:22.680 --> 0:19:23.120 raw eggs. 0:19:23.200 --> 0:19:24.919 So if you were to do the math on how 0:19:24.920 --> 0:19:26.880 many people you could have potentially poisoned, I just don't 0:19:26.960 --> 0:19:27.520 number out there. 0:19:27.720 --> 0:19:30.200 Plenty twelve, No, but I don't know that. 0:19:30.240 --> 0:19:33.160 I don't know the stats of how many how often salmonella? 0:19:33.280 --> 0:19:36.760 I reckon it's higher than egg Oh yeah, but if 0:19:36.800 --> 0:19:37.920 I was working. 0:19:37.800 --> 0:19:40.560