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Speaker 1: Get a. I'm Lola Berry, nutritionist, author, actor, TV presenter,

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Speaker 1: and professional oversharer. This podcast is all about celebrating failure

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Speaker 1: because I believe it's a chance for us to learn,

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Speaker 1: grow and face our blind spots. Each week, I'll interview

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Speaker 1: a different guest about their highs as well as they're lows,

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Speaker 1: all in a bid to inspire us to fearlessly fail.

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Speaker 1: Hello Gangles. Today on the pod we have Yana Firestone.

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Speaker 1: She's a therapist, author of two books, speaker, host of

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Speaker 1: the Curious Life Pod, and into this thing called pop

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Speaker 1: therapy that we're going to talk about today because half

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Speaker 1: the reason she's even in America to record this pod

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Speaker 1: is for this thing called Bravocon that is going on

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Speaker 1: in Vegas as we speak. And Yanna reach out to

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Speaker 1: me said, Hey, I'm going to be in LA for

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Speaker 1: a couple of days. Can I jump on the pod?

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Speaker 1: And I've been on her pod, so I thought, you

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Speaker 1: know what, this is great And can I just say

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Speaker 1: if you ever feel a bit anxious or unsure or

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Speaker 1: I get these like health anxieties where I think the

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Speaker 1: world's about to end. If I feel the tiniest bit

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Speaker 1: of pain and I break it all down with Yanna,

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Speaker 1: and I ask if it's normal to feel those things

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Speaker 1: when we're stressed out. There are some really great takeaways

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Speaker 1: and habits just for overall mental health. So I hope

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Speaker 1: you love this chart. It's a bit more of an

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Speaker 1: educational mental health one and I learn loads, so I

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Speaker 1: hope you do too. Welcome to the pod, Yana Firestone.

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Speaker 1: You're a podcaster therapist, author of two books, Correct Mama,

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Speaker 1: Bear to three Bambinos and a pop Correct a four

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Speaker 1: month old Pappuccino.

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Speaker 2: Yes, Banjo has our latest edition.

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Speaker 1: Great name. Actually, I love that as it I'm and

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Speaker 1: I have this thing on our phone dog names, Yes,

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Speaker 1: and I feel like Banjo's a goodie.

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Speaker 2: Banjo came about after about seventy five different other verses. Okay,

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Speaker 2: so the first one we had he had a blue

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Speaker 2: collar when we got him, and so my eldest was like,

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Speaker 2: what about ocean? And I kind of loved it.

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Speaker 1: That's cool.

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Speaker 2: But then the more we were saying it's, the weirder

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Speaker 2: it started to get in our mouths, and so then

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Speaker 2: it was about literally seventy five different iterations for three days.

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Speaker 2: And then I woke up before I am and I

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Speaker 2: was like, what about Banjo.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Banjo's great, and we just went with it. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: banjo feels really good. Yeah. We fostered a pup last

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Speaker 1: year and he was in a pickle, so we called

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Speaker 1: him Pickle.

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Speaker 2: Oh god, yeah, that's a really cute name.

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Speaker 1: And they wanted to call him Otis and we were like, well,

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Speaker 1: he's our foster, we're calling Pickle. Okay, I've read your book,

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Speaker 1: I have listened to your pod. There is so much

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Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about, but I do

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Speaker 1: want to start with Plot Twist book. I started it

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Speaker 1: and the opening pretty much the opening chapter is like

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh wow, we're deep diving into grief,

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Speaker 1: straight out of the gates, straight out. But what I

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Speaker 1: really love that you share So your style of writing

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Speaker 1: is storytelling. So it's so easy to read. It's almost

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Speaker 1: like watching a movie of your life. Did it feel

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Speaker 1: like that to write?

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Speaker 2: Yes, So my first book felt a little.

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Speaker 1: Bit more dry, and that was that called again.

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Speaker 2: It was called Embracing Change. Yeah, similar vibes. It was

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Speaker 2: stories from my life and the pod and and.

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Speaker 1: You know, therapeutic life.

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Speaker 2: But it just the direction from my editor at that

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Speaker 2: time was just to kind of keep it a bit

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Speaker 2: more clinical, and the parts I loved writing were the

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Speaker 2: storytelling parts and the stuff that was about my life.

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Speaker 2: And so that's kind of what I wanted this book

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Speaker 2: to be more like, because you know, the idea of

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Speaker 2: writing a book, it's like the ultimate fantasy, like you're

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Speaker 2: going to be sitting in like here in a beautiful apartment,

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Speaker 2: looking at the Hollywood sign and just like pure fantasy.

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Speaker 2: But it just becomes like any other job, as you know,

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Speaker 2: and so I just wanted to really enjoy it. So

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Speaker 2: I think that's just what comes naturally to me, is

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Speaker 2: the storytelling and writing a bit more creatively.

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Speaker 1: So loved it. I love that because, to be honest,

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Speaker 1: when you open up the first two pages book and

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Speaker 1: you're like, okay, this is a book about potentially it

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Speaker 1: feels like a bit grief and navigating grief, and you

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Speaker 1: share about losing your mum when you're twenty one and

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Speaker 1: like that feeling. And so I felt like the first

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Speaker 1: few pages, I was like, whoa, I've been not hit

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Speaker 1: by a truck, but it felt like a lot to absorb.

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Speaker 1: And then the way you storytell and share in this

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Speaker 1: really honest. It kind of feels like honest and unapologetic.

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Speaker 1: I would say, is kind of your tone because you're like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I masked for years and yeah, like I was twenty one,

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Speaker 1: I was doing all these things that with the wrong

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Speaker 1: thing to do. But there were so many great moments

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Speaker 1: of like you being like, don't make the same Like

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Speaker 1: here's here's what I did. It didn't work. Yeah. I

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Speaker 1: love that You're kind of like, yeah, what's and all.

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Speaker 1: It's kind of like how I describe this style of

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Speaker 1: and I have to now that I now that we've

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Speaker 1: covered like your style of writing, now can I ask

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Speaker 1: you a million questions about it?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Okay, great, Because I'm obsessed with therapy. I think we've

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Speaker 1: talked about this before. We have. Therapy is my non negotiable.

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Speaker 1: So hearing the way you share just at certain things

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Speaker 1: in this book, I'm like, oh my god, I can't

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Speaker 1: wait to talk. So first of all, can we talk

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Speaker 1: about health anxiety? Oh my god? Because a week ago,

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Speaker 1: I woke up in the middle of night and I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, I've got a sharp pain on my

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Speaker 1: left side, like left rib. Oh, I've got tingles down

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Speaker 1: my left arm. I wake that up. I'm like, I'm

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Speaker 1: just gonna let you know. I think I'm having a

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Speaker 1: hard at time, and he's like, it's anxiety, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, excuse me. I was like, it's in my

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Speaker 1: left arm, it's not my right. Like my brain couldn't

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Speaker 1: put together that I'd probably slept wrong on it. And

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Speaker 1: it turned out I had no idea. But we were

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Speaker 1: going on a trip where I would feel out of

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Speaker 1: control because we were going on trip with other people.

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Speaker 1: And he said, you've got anxiety because we're going on

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Speaker 1: a trip and you're going to feel out of control.

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Speaker 1: And I was like what, and he's like, your body

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Speaker 1: always manifests anxiety in it was something physical, whether it's headache,

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Speaker 1: neck pain, sharp pains in my chest. And he's like,

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Speaker 1: that's how you do it. And you speak not do it,

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Speaker 1: but that's how my body manifests anxiety. And you speak

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Speaker 1: about two things really well, well, so many things, but

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Speaker 1: two things I really want to unpacked right now. Health anxiety.

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Speaker 1: And I know you because of your history of where

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Speaker 1: you've worked, but also how anxiety can manifest and that

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Speaker 1: mind body connection. Yes, so it's a bit of a

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Speaker 1: true prong question.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, get away it is. It's just it's

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Speaker 2: hilarious because I'm picturing you and Matt in bed, and

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Speaker 2: it's exactly man Chris like, and he is so like

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Speaker 2: as relaxed as Matt probably is about it. At this point,

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Speaker 2: it's just like, You're fine, it's anxiety, you know, You've

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Speaker 2: got nothing to worry about it. And he's got permanent

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Speaker 2: claw marks in his arm when I'm like, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: I'm dying, you know, like constantly, and you know, like

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Speaker 2: it is. It is just so exhausting to constantly feel

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Speaker 2: like everything that happens in your body is life ending.

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Speaker 2: And that happens to me constantly, even with like all

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Speaker 2: of my years. I've been a therapist now for like

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Speaker 2: over eighteen years. I can help other people with their issues,

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Speaker 2: and I cannot apply it to myself. So it's like

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Speaker 2: any twinge, I've got a bit of a sinus thing,

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Speaker 2: my head feels a bit blocked, I'm having a brain tumor,

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Speaker 2: and I'm dying. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know. It's it's

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Speaker 2: the arm tingle. It's always why is it always the

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Speaker 2: left side? I never get on my right side ever,

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Speaker 2: And it's like it's just a constantly exhausting thing, and

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Speaker 2: you know, there's so many reasons for it. And I think,

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Speaker 2: you know, part of it is my mum died suddenly

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Speaker 2: when I was twenty one, and that was kind of

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Speaker 2: like the entree into oh my God, like big bad

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Speaker 2: things can happen, like out of the blue. And then

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Speaker 2: I worked at the coroner's core and it was like,

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Speaker 2: you know, all I was working with intensively all day

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Speaker 2: every day was sudden and unexpected death, right. I know,

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Speaker 2: it was like that in detail. It wasn't even just

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Speaker 2: working with the grief that surrounding the losses. I was

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Speaker 2: deep in the you know, autopsy reports and police photos

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Speaker 2: and everything because I had to be for the role,

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Speaker 2: and so it was all I was living and breathing.

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Speaker 2: So I would honestly turn up to my GP and

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Speaker 2: be like, you know what, I've got X, Y and Z.

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Speaker 2: And he looked me and said, look, you're reasonably fit.

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Speaker 2: If you're young, you're healthy, you'll be fine. And I'm like, no,

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Speaker 2: young and healthy people drop dead all the time. And

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Speaker 2: He's like, listen, if it was that, this is what

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Speaker 2: I would be looking for, you know. And you know,

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Speaker 2: still to this day, I've had the same doctor my

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Speaker 2: whole life, and I went to him recently with a

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Speaker 2: mole on my back and I'm like, Greg, I know

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Speaker 2: I always think this is the end, but this time,

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Speaker 2: for real, I think this is really serious. And he's like, okay,

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Speaker 2: well let me have a look. Yeah, and he's like, no,

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Speaker 2: that's fine, It's just it's just a whatever it is.

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Speaker 1: So you know, one thing, I've just turned forty, I thought.

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Speaker 1: I went to my doctor and I was like, what

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Speaker 1: is this thing? And she's like, that's an aging barnacle

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Speaker 1: and I was like, excuse me, I'm not a pirate, Like,

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Speaker 1: do not say that. And she's like, yeah, like you

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Speaker 1: you're forty, like that's normal. And I was like, get

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Speaker 1: rid of it and she was like what and I

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Speaker 1: was like it's gotta go. I could not. No. No,

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Speaker 1: It's like and I think, I think, and I love

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Speaker 1: the way you say, like getting older is such a gift,

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Speaker 1: but also like it comes with those things where you're like,

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Speaker 1: well now, oh TikTok like I was. I was working

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Speaker 1: at yoga studio here in La and I was just

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Speaker 1: stressed by it because I wasn't totally alive with my

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Speaker 1: passion bubb blah, and I got full blown chest pain

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Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, today's day here where you go,

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Speaker 1: and of course I was fine. I come home to

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Speaker 1: Matt and I was like, I literally thought I wasn't

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Speaker 1: going to see each other. Oh my god, because you

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Speaker 1: just get that pain of anxiety and it can overtake

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Speaker 1: you totally, even with all the men Like I'm nine

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Speaker 1: years into therapy every two weeks, like I don't miss it,

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Speaker 1: and I and I'm like, with all the work you do,

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Speaker 1: it can still get you totally.

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Speaker 2: And I think this is the thing about that connection

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Speaker 2: between mind and body is that no matter how much

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Speaker 2: control we think we have over our mind, our mind

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Speaker 2: is ten million times more powerful than anything we can

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Speaker 2: think of and can create things and physical symptoms in

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Speaker 2: our body that are not even real or you know,

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Speaker 2: it just the panic that sets in so instantaneously when

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Speaker 2: you've got you know, maybe you were like sitting in

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Speaker 2: a funny position and so you've got a little bit

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Speaker 2: of a twinge in a muscle. It instantly floods your

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Speaker 2: body with anxiety and oh this is the end. It's

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Speaker 2: world end. So yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it.

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Speaker 1: I do love the way you This is later in

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Speaker 1: the book, but you talk about the power of movement,

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Speaker 1: because I will know, like if I've skipped a couple

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Speaker 1: of days even just like not getting out because La.

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Speaker 1: To live in La, it's amazing, but it is. And

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Speaker 1: I know, you're like, oh my god, you've got the

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Speaker 1: Hollywood sign. It's an effing beast some days though, and

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Speaker 1: some days like I literally one day, this isn't not

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Speaker 1: a whatever. I went for an ice cream with my

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Speaker 1: bud that lives in the same building and we got

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Speaker 1: chased home. Whoa literally someone screaming running towards us and

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Speaker 1: like to get into the front door is an app

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Speaker 1: and I was like I couldn't get the app up. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and that was away and so I was like, oh okay.

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Speaker 1: Like so LA can feel like a bit unsafe sometimes

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Speaker 1: and there's been like so many things. And really the

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Speaker 1: flip side is obviously you get very very resilient and

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Speaker 1: you get super hyper vigilant and aware, but that also

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Speaker 1: like takes a mental cost as well. And so like

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Speaker 1: I notice if I skip or I like don't get

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Speaker 1: out and do a really nice big walk, or don't

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Speaker 1: move my body in the gym, that anxiety stuff. It's

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Speaker 1: almost like it's hyper ready to go totally. Yeah, how

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Speaker 1: important do you think movement is for mental health support.

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Speaker 2: I think it's one hundred percent important, Like that is

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Speaker 2: the one thing we can all be doing, no matter

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Speaker 2: what your level of fitness, skill, time, money. It's the

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Speaker 2: only thing we can do anywhere, anytime. And it's literally

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Speaker 2: you know, getting up and like standing up and doing

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Speaker 2: a few like squats, even just that simple movement like

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Speaker 2: oh my god, I haven't been from a walk today,

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Speaker 2: or I don't like running or whatever. It is just

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Speaker 2: just bending standing up and down ten times will give

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Speaker 2: you such a boost. And it really it sounds so

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Speaker 2: cliched and like as if that's going to help, but

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Speaker 2: it truly does. It just gives a balance of the

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Speaker 2: hormones and.

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Speaker 1: The little circuit breaker.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, totally, And I'm the same if I haven't moved,

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Speaker 2: that anxiety is next level.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And it just it's like it's ready to go.

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Speaker 1: It's like sitting on your shoulder.

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Speaker 2: Like hey, yeah, totally.

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Speaker 1: Whereas I think if you're moving you can be like,

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Speaker 1: oh I'm gonna you can almost catch yourself a little

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Speaker 1: bit and be like that necessarily isn't that feeling? Isn't me?

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Speaker 1: It's not who I am? Yeah, but it's Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: noticed that I think movement is just a key to

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Speaker 1: like I don't know, just there's something where it's just like, yes,

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Speaker 1: it's a circle breaker, but also it's like such a

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Speaker 1: nice way to connect with other people as well, Like

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Speaker 1: I'll meet people for walks as opposed to like I

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Speaker 1: don't know, going out for drinks. Sometimes it's just meet

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Speaker 1: for a walk. I don't know. There's something really special

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Speaker 1: about and the usually the conversations you have when you're

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Speaker 1: moving with someone, like you're out exercising, la, we've got

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Speaker 1: hikes everywhere, you'll have these really deep conversations. Ye, I

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Speaker 1: don't know.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if there's a lot, but it absolutely is.

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Speaker 2: It's like when you need to have conversations with kids,

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Speaker 2: with teenagers, the best thing you can do is have

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Speaker 2: not front facing, eye connected conversations. You have side by

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Speaker 2: side conversations. And that happens going for walks or in

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Speaker 2: the car, and so there is something about the eye contact.

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Speaker 2: It's very intense to sit across from a table from

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Speaker 2: somebody having a coffee. It takes a different amount of energy,

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Speaker 2: even if it's the best time ever. H it's a

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Speaker 2: different thing. But when you're walking and moving together and

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Speaker 2: you're side by side, it's something shifts and you just

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Speaker 2: can go deeper.

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Speaker 1: There's something about I think men prefer to communicate that

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Speaker 1: something about that's why like men like go to the

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Speaker 1: pub or watch sports together or even play like sit

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Speaker 1: next week to the plane. Yeah, and you're you're a.

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Speaker 2: Boy, Yes, isn't it.

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Speaker 1: I love all this human behavior stuff like how we

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Speaker 1: like to communicate. How important do you think habit and

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Speaker 1: routine is for mental health? And I know you talk

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Speaker 1: about it being really good for like moving through stages

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Speaker 1: of grief because it brings a little bit of like,

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Speaker 1: oh I can I can make that next step, or

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Speaker 1: like data time kind of vibe. But I know I'm

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Speaker 1: a bit of a control freak. You're trying to figure

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Speaker 1: that out right now. But having a routine and habit

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Speaker 1: makes me feel very like secure and safe and like

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Speaker 1: I'm moving in the right direction because I've got a

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Speaker 1: career that's super out of control. Like I don't get

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Speaker 1: to decide if I book a gig or not. I

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Speaker 1: can audition for it, but having routine makes me go,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I'm doing the best that I can

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Speaker 1: do in the scenario that I'm in.

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Speaker 2: Yes, totally it's about gaining some control in and out

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Speaker 2: of control situation. So that certainly applies to grief, and

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Speaker 2: it applies to all of us in any part of

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Speaker 2: our lives. So I'm also a bit of a control freak,

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Speaker 2: and when I lose my shit, it's basically when my

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Speaker 2: life feels a bit out of control. And that can

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Speaker 2: be as simple as coming home and the house is

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Speaker 2: a mess and the kids are really noisy, and it

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Speaker 2: just all feels like it's too much. But if I

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Speaker 2: know that, it's like, okay, I'm coming home or walking

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Speaker 2: the dog, and then it's going to be feed the kids,

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Speaker 2: and then it's going to be fast time. You know,

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Speaker 2: We've got this kind of set routine that I know

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Speaker 2: I'm moving through each piece and that eventually I'm going

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Speaker 2: to get to the couch.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: But even you know, in all of kind of the

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Speaker 2: chaos of life, if we wake up knowing that ten am,

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Speaker 2: I've got you know, I go to pilates, and then

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Speaker 2: I've you know, got eleven o'clock I'm meeting this person,

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Speaker 2: and then at twelve o'clock I'm doing that doesn't have

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Speaker 2: to be even a regimented thing every single day. But

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Speaker 2: having a schedule seems to give people that sense of

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Speaker 2: control when things feel.

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Speaker 1: I love a mad I love a schedule. I have

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Speaker 1: like written diary, I reckon. It gives me a don't

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Speaker 1: mean like to tick something off. I'm done, onto the next.

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Speaker 1: And like a busy schedule I can handle. Like a

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Speaker 1: non busy I'm like, I know, I find it a

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Speaker 1: little bit like if there's no structure there, I.

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Speaker 2: Find it a little bit harder. I'm exactly the same.

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Speaker 2: And I think again, because that is one giant blank

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Speaker 2: space of being out of control, because there's ten thousand

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Speaker 2: things you could possibly do in that day. Oh my god,

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Speaker 2: I've got the day off. How am I going to

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Speaker 2: spend it all? Like?

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Speaker 1: What am I gonna do?

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Speaker 2: I should exercise, I should see a friend, I should

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna do all that washing, I need to do

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Speaker 2: X Y and zed. How am I going to fill

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Speaker 2: the day? And then it's like, you know, task paralysis,

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Speaker 2: It's like what do I do? Oh my god, I'm

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Speaker 2: freaking out. Now I'm dying because I've got a heart attack.

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Speaker 1: Yeah that's I think that like and that pro procrastination.

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Speaker 1: And I had a really great chat with my therapist

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Speaker 1: recently and I was like, I'm like, I'm procrastinating, and

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Speaker 1: he goes, you're in a job. He's like, you've got

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Speaker 1: a job as an actor where you have to wait

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Speaker 1: for people to give you work. And he's like, you're

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Speaker 1: in the habit of waiting. He's like, piss that off.

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Speaker 1: And he's like, just start doing the stuff that you

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Speaker 1: want to do each day. And like, obviously books part

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Speaker 1: all this great stuff that I'm very much in control of,

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Speaker 1: but that acting stuff, if I rely so heavily on

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Speaker 1: it and it becomes my identity, it's so hard. Like

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Speaker 1: I get into this loop. And he's like, no, no,

363
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Speaker 1: you don't need to wait for anyone. Keep doing. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's humans are fascinating. I want to read you a

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Speaker 1: quote from your book that you said, Okay, oh God,

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Speaker 1: do yourself a favor. Don't wait as long as I

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Speaker 1: did to get into therapy. Do you think and now

368
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Speaker 1: this is like a generalized thing, but we can all

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Speaker 1: learn something from going to therapy, right, And I.

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Speaker 2: Don't know there was an arrogance in me or some

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00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:09,119
Speaker 2: sort of immaturity that didn't send me to therapy. Like

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Speaker 2: I was living my life one day, everything was great.

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Speaker 2: I was a party girl, I was working in a bar.

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Speaker 2: I was having such a good time, loving life. I

375
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Speaker 2: just finished studying musical theater and I was like, this

376
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,639
Speaker 2: is like now we're going to have some fun. And

377
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:27,320
Speaker 2: then my mom just like dropped dead. And I was

378
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Speaker 2: like absolutely devastated, in complete grief and distress and all

379
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Speaker 2: those things. And then I knew I was feeling those

380
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Speaker 2: things because my mom died. So I was like, what

381
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Speaker 2: could a therapist possibly tell me that I don't already know,

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Speaker 2: you know, like, there's no reason for me to go.

383
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Speaker 2: I'm fine. I talk about it all the time. I

384
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Speaker 2: talk to my friends, I talk to my dad, I'm

385
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,560
Speaker 2: talking to my brother, I'm talking to my auntie, Like

386
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:54,920
Speaker 2: I don't need another person to talk to. But I

387
00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:59,879
Speaker 2: totally missed the point, which is having somebody completely outside

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00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:04,440
Speaker 2: of your world to give you perspective on things and

389
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:07,200
Speaker 2: to help you to think about things in a different way.

390
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:10,040
Speaker 2: Where my friends and my family want to make me

391
00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:13,480
Speaker 2: feel better or just want to like commiserate or validate

392
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:17,040
Speaker 2: what I'm saying or give an opposing opinion. I had people,

393
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:20,960
Speaker 2: you know, relatives that had their own grief. Every single

394
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:23,520
Speaker 2: person there was affected by it. In their own way,

395
00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:26,159
Speaker 2: so they had their own things that they needed to

396
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:29,639
Speaker 2: say and share, and it just was not I mean,

397
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Speaker 2: it's important, but it's not beneficial.

398
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Speaker 1: You know.

399
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Speaker 2: I wasn't going to grow or evolve and my grief

400
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:42,240
Speaker 2: wasn't going to change just relying on those sources of contact.

401
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:46,760
Speaker 2: So for me, it took decades to get into therapy,

402
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:48,000
Speaker 2: which is outrageous.

403
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:52,399
Speaker 1: I was a therapist, that's right, Yeah, that's crazy, it is.

404
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:56,280
Speaker 1: And you also didn't you work with like the Black

405
00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:59,400
Speaker 1: Saturday is it black? Yeah? The Black Saturday push fires? Yeah,

406
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,960
Speaker 1: and then you saw a therapist to help like that

407
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:05,560
Speaker 1: was provided, right, a therapist to help you guys, like

408
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:09,240
Speaker 1: because you describe it as working in a war zone. Yeah,

409
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:10,280
Speaker 1: yeah it was.

410
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:15,760
Speaker 2: So that's the biggest, the worst bushfire we've had in Australia.

411
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Speaker 2: There was one hundred and seventy three people that died

412
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Speaker 2: in Victoria and I was secondered from working with victims

413
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:26,480
Speaker 2: of crime over to the coroner's court and we just

414
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:28,960
Speaker 2: hit the ground running and it was, you know, almost

415
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:29,720
Speaker 2: ground zero.

416
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Speaker 1: There were people that were still missing, you.

417
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:36,440
Speaker 2: Know, many many, many, many people that hadn't been found

418
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Speaker 2: or identified yet. So it's a very slow process, and

419
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:44,080
Speaker 2: there were hundreds of families that were just you know,

420
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:51,560
Speaker 2: incomplete shock and despair, and not only the terrible death

421
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Speaker 2: toll that happened, but there were thousands of people that

422
00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:59,919
Speaker 2: lost their homes, yeah, and livelihoods and everything, like millions

423
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:03,840
Speaker 2: of animals, and so it was just like a bomb

424
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:09,200
Speaker 2: had gone off across you know, country Victoria. So I

425
00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:13,760
Speaker 2: was working with those people very intensively for you know,

426
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Speaker 2: the whole time that I was at the Corner's Court

427
00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:18,480
Speaker 2: was four and a half five years, and it was

428
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:21,200
Speaker 2: towards the it was at least a year in I

429
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:25,560
Speaker 2: would say that they brought somebody in, a trauma expert

430
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:29,399
Speaker 2: to start doing debriefing with us. By that point, we

431
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:32,000
Speaker 2: were so far gone and we were in such deep

432
00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:36,879
Speaker 2: vicarious trauma, which is when you know you're living and

433
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,879
Speaker 2: breathing somebody else's trauma and you become traumatized by it.

434
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:44,119
Speaker 2: That Yeah, it just sort of felt like, oh okay,

435
00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:48,160
Speaker 2: a bit of an afterthought. But they got the best

436
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:53,359
Speaker 2: trauma expert in the country, and he's fantastic and to

437
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:56,880
Speaker 2: this day I'm still connected to him. And I had

438
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,280
Speaker 2: the experience for the first time of like, oh whoa

439
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:03,560
Speaker 2: like this is what it's like to sit with an

440
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:08,440
Speaker 2: amazing therapist who brings things to light in a way

441
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:11,520
Speaker 2: that you just could never possibly see because of where

442
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:14,439
Speaker 2: you are in your own world.

443
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,480
Speaker 1: Well, you were having nightmares, right, And he was like

444
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:20,600
Speaker 1: he like straightaway said something like you're trying to like

445
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,800
Speaker 1: undo the people that died, like you didn't something there

446
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:25,640
Speaker 1: was some like epiphany. Yeah.

447
00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:28,440
Speaker 2: It was like I kept having these dreams that I

448
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:30,960
Speaker 2: was at in my family home, which I didn't live

449
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:33,439
Speaker 2: at home. I lived with my boyfriend, but I oh

450
00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:35,159
Speaker 2: no that sab I was single. I was living on

451
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:39,320
Speaker 2: my own. But I kept seeing myself in the family home,

452
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 2: in the living room and in the place where all

453
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:46,600
Speaker 2: the photo albums are, and the fire was descending like

454
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,879
Speaker 2: down the street and was all around us, and I

455
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:52,560
Speaker 2: just knew I had like minutes to grab the most

456
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:55,480
Speaker 2: essential and Mum had died, so all I wanted was

457
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:58,280
Speaker 2: the photos. Yeah, And I was like scrambling to put

458
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:02,119
Speaker 2: boxes of photos together and just that you know, you know,

459
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:03,959
Speaker 2: it's almost like when you have those nightmares where you're

460
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 2: trying to ring for help and you can't press the

461
00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:10,640
Speaker 2: buttons or you can't run, ye you know, yeah, yeah,

462
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:13,000
Speaker 2: so it was like that, and I had these boxes

463
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:14,840
Speaker 2: and I was feeling them and feeling them, and they

464
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:16,920
Speaker 2: would pick up the box and they'd fall out from

465
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:18,800
Speaker 2: the bottom of the box, and I'm trying to get

466
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:22,359
Speaker 2: them again, and like the fires like coming around. And

467
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:27,680
Speaker 2: then he sat with me, and you know, I kept

468
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:30,400
Speaker 2: having all variations of those kinds of dreams of trying

469
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:34,359
Speaker 2: to escape the fire. And he said something like, you know,

470
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:36,760
Speaker 2: you're just what you're trying to do is you're trying

471
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:41,200
Speaker 2: to save all of these people that couldn't be saved,

472
00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:45,800
Speaker 2: but obviously much more eloquently, and it was very poignant

473
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 2: and connected to exactly what you know was happening in

474
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:52,120
Speaker 2: the dreams. And I was like, oh god, I thought

475
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,960
Speaker 2: this was totally about me, and this is all about

476
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:58,479
Speaker 2: my experience because we're so egocentric, and I know that's

477
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:00,520
Speaker 2: like such a yucky word, but of course we are.

478
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,399
Speaker 2: We live our lives thinking about ourselves and our place

479
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:06,520
Speaker 2: in the world and where we fit in. And it

480
00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:09,760
Speaker 2: just sort of opened my eyes to, oh, wow, this

481
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:13,600
Speaker 2: is like so connected to the other people that I'm

482
00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:16,680
Speaker 2: working with that aren't here, whose families I'm talking with

483
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:19,840
Speaker 2: every day. That's what this is about. And then it

484
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:23,560
Speaker 2: started from there and we started really unpacking everything that

485
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:27,359
Speaker 2: had been happening. And you know, I went on and

486
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:30,600
Speaker 2: worked with him for a little while, and then after

487
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:34,200
Speaker 2: I stopped working with him just because again stupidly, and

488
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:37,600
Speaker 2: I think we make this mistake so often. I just

489
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:40,080
Speaker 2: couldn't make the time work and it was like, oh,

490
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:43,040
Speaker 2: his office is really far away, and I just it

491
00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:46,600
Speaker 2: dropped in the priority list. And I think this happens

492
00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:48,320
Speaker 2: to a lot of us, where we start feeling better,

493
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:50,080
Speaker 2: we start thinking like.

494
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:52,360
Speaker 1: Oh, we're okay now fine, I don't yeah.

495
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,520
Speaker 2: Exactly, and then it's like no longer needed, and then

496
00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:58,720
Speaker 2: we're spiraling again within a very short period of time.

497
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:03,040
Speaker 2: So I would have done much better had I continued

498
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:08,360
Speaker 2: with therapy, because the health anxiety really really intensified from

499
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,639
Speaker 2: all of that work, of course, and I would be

500
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:14,679
Speaker 2: having anxiety driving the car, constantly thinking something was happening

501
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:16,960
Speaker 2: to me, and I had all the language to put

502
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:18,359
Speaker 2: to it. I'm like, oh my god, I'm having an

503
00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:22,000
Speaker 2: aortic aneurysm or I'm having a whatever I had just

504
00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:26,800
Speaker 2: read about at work. So yeah, if you are listening

505
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:29,880
Speaker 2: and you are thinking about therapy, like, don't even hesitate,

506
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:31,920
Speaker 2: like make that call and just get there.

507
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:35,000
Speaker 1: I love that you said, because I know that, and

508
00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:38,480
Speaker 1: I've totally fallen into this habit of like everything's great.

509
00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:40,160
Speaker 1: What am I going to talk to my therapist about

510
00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:42,720
Speaker 1: this week? Trust me, that's when the real work really

511
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:45,439
Speaker 1: kicks in. I remember that what got me to therapy.

512
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:46,920
Speaker 1: I was thirty one and I just went through a

513
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:49,520
Speaker 1: really shitty breakup and there was no closure. So I

514
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:51,480
Speaker 1: was like on a hamster. I couldn't figure it out.

515
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:54,840
Speaker 1: He'd moved on within a week, like something crazy, and

516
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:56,520
Speaker 1: I was like fuck it. I'd like I got to

517
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:59,399
Speaker 1: give something to try. We wrapped that relationship up in

518
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 1: three sessions.

519
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:00,640
Speaker 2: Wow.

520
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:04,080
Speaker 1: Yeah. And at the end of the third session, I

521
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:06,640
Speaker 1: was like, so can I come back? And he's like, yeah,

522
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 1: let's do the real work now, Like let's and so

523
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:12,919
Speaker 1: that's what made me be like, oh wow, Like having

524
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:17,240
Speaker 1: a therapist to me feels like a superpower, Like it

525
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:21,199
Speaker 1: gives you resilience, which you write beautifully about. I think

526
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 1: it's one of the best like human values or like

527
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:28,800
Speaker 1: traits to have. And it also lets you because, as

528
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:32,000
Speaker 1: you say, like we all go through shitty times and

529
00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:39,800
Speaker 1: plot twists and like rejection and breakups and like annoying

530
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:42,840
Speaker 1: shit at work too, or like toxic people all that shit. Yeah,

531
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:46,960
Speaker 1: and like having someone in your corner, like you said

532
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 1: earlier that isn't connected to you know, your family and

533
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:53,040
Speaker 1: your butt, Like having someone that's literally going to come

534
00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:55,840
Speaker 1: in give it to you pretty straight and just be

535
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,399
Speaker 1: like non bias, like this is what you're saying, this

536
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:01,960
Speaker 1: is how it's it's like sounding to me, and you're like,

537
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 1: oh shit, I never looked at it that way, or

538
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:09,320
Speaker 1: like sometimes it's like a really nice shake up in

539
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:13,320
Speaker 1: the best kind of way to be like, oh my god,

540
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:15,600
Speaker 1: I was looking at it totally wrong. Yeah, But I

541
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:17,040
Speaker 1: will say it took me a while to find the

542
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:21,200
Speaker 1: right therapist because I tried earlier on in my twenties

543
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:24,240
Speaker 1: with eating disorder stuff, and I would only last like

544
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 1: four or five six sessions and then be like, ah,

545
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 1: this is And for me it was always about this

546
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:33,679
Speaker 1: sounds really and tell me you can psychoanalyze this as

547
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:35,359
Speaker 1: much as you want. But I needed someone that would

548
00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:37,960
Speaker 1: give it to me straight and like almost tough love,

549
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:40,840
Speaker 1: like no bullshit kind of didn't.

550
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:42,480
Speaker 2: Know you were looking for that though I had no idea.

551
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:45,280
Speaker 1: I didn't know until I walked in and was like, oh, yeah,

552
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 1: that's that, And like I had no idea, but this

553
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:53,600
Speaker 1: therapist specifically worked with profiders, actors and people in really

554
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 1: high power jobs, and it's like that real high levels

555
00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:01,280
Speaker 1: of stress and high levels of rejection the actors and fighters,

556
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:04,480
Speaker 1: and like it's so and we do keep seeing no therapy.

557
00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:06,840
Speaker 1: So I have no idea that that was like, Oh,

558
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 1: that's the magic trip. But it does take a little

559
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:12,880
Speaker 1: bit of time to find the right fit for you,

560
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:15,080
Speaker 1: because I'm sure who I was with earlier when in

561
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 1: my twenties was so nurturing and perfect for someone going

562
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:22,000
Speaker 1: through eating disorders and all that kind of stuff. But

563
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:24,040
Speaker 1: for me, I was like I need someone to just

564
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:26,680
Speaker 1: like shake me a little bit. Yeah.

565
00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:29,440
Speaker 2: Well, it's like any relationship. You know, you're not just

566
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:32,640
Speaker 2: gonna fall in love with the person that you first

567
00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:34,040
Speaker 2: try to have a relationship with.

568
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:34,400
Speaker 1: Ya.

569
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:36,760
Speaker 2: You know, it's got to be the right person for you.

570
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:40,880
Speaker 2: And you know, maybe those really loving people in the

571
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:45,160
Speaker 2: beginning are not perfect for all eating disorder stuff. Like,

572
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:48,280
Speaker 2: it's just it's the personality stuff. You got to really

573
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:50,720
Speaker 2: click and they've got to you got to kind of

574
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:51,920
Speaker 2: speak the same language.

575
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:56,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's it totally. Yeah, And I don't know if

576
00:29:56,560 --> 00:30:01,040
Speaker 1: this for you is really important, but like I know,

577
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:03,680
Speaker 1: I have to feel super safe to like go to

578
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:07,480
Speaker 1: the darkest places of my psyche and feel really safe

579
00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:10,800
Speaker 1: to be like I don't know if I like, you

580
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:12,760
Speaker 1: don't want to feel judged, but you want to be

581
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:15,760
Speaker 1: able to go everywhere. Does that make sense? Yeah?

582
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:17,640
Speaker 2: And I think one of the things that can be

583
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:20,040
Speaker 2: really tricky for people, and I know this is true

584
00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:22,480
Speaker 2: for me. I can be a bit of a people

585
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:26,840
Speaker 2: pleaser and so and I think also knowing it's hard

586
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:29,320
Speaker 2: being a therapist, so I sort of come at it

587
00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:32,840
Speaker 2: already having had a peek behind the veil. So it's

588
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:33,960
Speaker 2: like I go in there and I want to do

589
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 2: a good job for the therapists because I want them

590
00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:40,440
Speaker 2: to like, you know, feel good about themselves that they're

591
00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:42,600
Speaker 2: doing a good job and they're getting the most out

592
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:42,840
Speaker 2: of me.

593
00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 1: And oh, yeah, that'd be tricky.

594
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:49,600
Speaker 2: It's really tricky. I've got somebody now who's amazing and

595
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:54,000
Speaker 2: like we just totally vibe. She's American, but she's in

596
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:59,680
Speaker 2: Australia and we just really click and she gets it.

597
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:02,880
Speaker 2: And so there was nothing wrong with any of the

598
00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:05,360
Speaker 2: other people I've seen before, but I felt like the

599
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:09,120
Speaker 2: people pleaser in me was really high with them, and

600
00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:11,320
Speaker 2: they'd asked me to do something and it didn't really

601
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:13,440
Speaker 2: feel authentic, Like it was like, let's talk to that

602
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:17,720
Speaker 2: little girl, like can we bring her forward? And and

603
00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:19,920
Speaker 2: I would just feel like, oh my god, cam I

604
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:25,520
Speaker 2: not okay, so and just like answer in a way

605
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:28,440
Speaker 2: that I hope that they would want a God, you know,

606
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:32,120
Speaker 2: you can't. There's such a waste of time and money.

607
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:36,440
Speaker 1: So yeah, that was I will literally sometimes have sessions

608
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:38,720
Speaker 1: with my therapist and at the end he's like, we

609
00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:41,600
Speaker 1: really put me through our paces today, Lola, and I'm like,

610
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:45,120
Speaker 1: I did. I guess I very much did today. I

611
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:46,840
Speaker 1: was like we were on a we were in a

612
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:51,200
Speaker 1: very complicated mood today. We were But for me that's

613
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 1: important to feel like Wat's and all feel safe. Yea,

614
00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:58,840
Speaker 1: Now this is my surprise little bit for you. Reading

615
00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:01,800
Speaker 1: the book, I was like, oh my goodness, Oh my godness,

616
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:04,920
Speaker 1: we're going to talk about Elvis Presley. Oh my god. Please.

617
00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:07,280
Speaker 1: So I went to Graceland for the first time this

618
00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:10,840
Speaker 1: year with my mom. Did you love it? Loved isn't

619
00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:15,240
Speaker 1: he wonderful best, the best? So so I know you

620
00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:18,720
Speaker 1: talk about in the book when we're grieving sometimes we

621
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:21,040
Speaker 1: can hyper fixate on something and that kind of be

622
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:25,800
Speaker 1: a like a comfort. But I love that you're now

623
00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:28,280
Speaker 1: at a place where you can just like love Elvis

624
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:31,640
Speaker 1: for all the magic he created and like introduce your

625
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:35,400
Speaker 1: kiddos to the songs. And but I say, to people

626
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:39,000
Speaker 1: that really love Elvis, do yourself fape. You have to

627
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:40,480
Speaker 1: go to Graceland. Isn't it incredible?

628
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:43,360
Speaker 2: It is the best. It is absolutely like going to

629
00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:48,080
Speaker 2: heaven for me. And I just you know, somebody, I

630
00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:49,440
Speaker 2: don't know if I put this in the book or it,

631
00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:53,760
Speaker 2: but somebody who is like a past life kind of

632
00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:56,520
Speaker 2: person said to me, the reason you're so connected with

633
00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:58,960
Speaker 2: Elvis is you were one of his girlfriends in a

634
00:32:59,000 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 2: past life.

635
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 1: I do know.

636
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:05,600
Speaker 2: And I was like, really, oh my god. And then

637
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:07,880
Speaker 2: I had somebody else say to me, Kate Casey, actually

638
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:11,520
Speaker 2: who does a podcast here. She said, maybe you were

639
00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:15,120
Speaker 2: actually like his mother because there's some sort of connection,

640
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:18,880
Speaker 2: there's a deep rooted connection. I don't feel like necessarily

641
00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:20,800
Speaker 2: that I was Gladys. I would much rather have been

642
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:21,240
Speaker 2: a girlfriend.

643
00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:22,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you.

644
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:25,880
Speaker 2: Know, there's there's a connection and he's there's something about

645
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:29,280
Speaker 2: his music and it's really I challenge everybody here if

646
00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:31,200
Speaker 2: you are not familiar with Elvis, go straight to the

647
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:37,760
Speaker 2: seventies gospel albums. It is like transcendent and his voice

648
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:42,520
Speaker 2: is amazing and he just he just I mean, you know,

649
00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:45,200
Speaker 2: he's like fucking gorgeous.

650
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 1: Ah. That's I didn't know he was blonde, do you know.

651
00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:51,720
Speaker 1: Here's the reason I dried my head, like really yeah,

652
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:55,000
Speaker 1: And I saw Elvis with Austin Butler, who's also a

653
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:57,080
Speaker 1: blondie with blue eyes, and I was like, oh, hang on,

654
00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:00,360
Speaker 1: hang on a second. That's really expensive to have here

655
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:03,480
Speaker 1: in America, Like I'm talking like nearly a thousand dollars everywhere.

656
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:03,560
Speaker 2: What.

657
00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:06,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I've found like this non tox breze is

658
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:10,680
Speaker 1: totally sidebar non tox for like no toxic die bar

659
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:12,920
Speaker 1: one hundred and twenty bucks. I walk on my hair

660
00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:14,480
Speaker 1: black and it's my Elvis era.

661
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:17,160
Speaker 2: And you know why he did that. It was to

662
00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:18,439
Speaker 2: make his blue eyes pop.

663
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:20,080
Speaker 1: Because he got Priscilla to do it too.

664
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:23,680
Speaker 2: Well, No, she did everything herself, so did she? Yeah,

665
00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:25,839
Speaker 2: And I'm going to see her in Melbourne. By the way,

666
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:28,319
Speaker 2: a week or two after I get home, she's coming back.

667
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:30,640
Speaker 1: Okay, well I would like you can write to me

668
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:32,200
Speaker 1: and give me a full voice, not after.

669
00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:36,759
Speaker 2: A full full recap. I've seen her before. Oh my god, sorry, guys,

670
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:42,360
Speaker 2: we're totally but but Elvis did it because Tony Curtis

671
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:45,640
Speaker 2: used to dye his hair black and make his eyes.

672
00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:49,560
Speaker 2: He was like a big time star of the fifties

673
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:54,880
Speaker 2: time out, an actor from that time. And he hang on,

674
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:58,759
Speaker 2: is he also Jamie Lee Curtis's dad, could possibly be.

675
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:00,200
Speaker 1: Maybe I think she comes from Man.

676
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:04,399
Speaker 2: Yes, you'd be anyway. So he Yeah, he was very

677
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:06,400
Speaker 2: clear about, oh, well, I want to be an actor

678
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:11,400
Speaker 2: and I want to enhance my opportunities because in the

679
00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:13,799
Speaker 2: early days when he was coming up, he was still

680
00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:16,359
Speaker 2: blonde in the fifties. It was just when he got

681
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:20,359
Speaker 2: to Hollywood that became the thing. Well it looks great,

682
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:22,560
Speaker 2: it looks great, can I ask I?

683
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:26,160
Speaker 1: So I did the full house tour and everything, but

684
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:30,040
Speaker 1: when I got to the outdoor meditation area where the

685
00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:34,240
Speaker 1: graves are, everybody just stopped talking, like it's like something

686
00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:38,160
Speaker 1: it's something spiritual washes over you, like everyone has choked

687
00:35:38,239 --> 00:35:41,160
Speaker 1: up my mom is not emotional at all. Like she's

688
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:44,200
Speaker 1: a like trauma nurse kind of thing, not trauma, but

689
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:48,960
Speaker 1: like has done all like very pragmatic, very black and white,

690
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:53,200
Speaker 1: very logical. And I was just and I'm very comfortable crying,

691
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:56,319
Speaker 1: no robs and I'm like just standing in his grave

692
00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:59,640
Speaker 1: being like holish. It's something like it is and you

693
00:35:59,719 --> 00:36:04,920
Speaker 1: can a pin dron like nobody speaks, and all Mom

694
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:06,600
Speaker 1: did was just like put her hand on my back

695
00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:08,680
Speaker 1: and i could tell she was like just holding all

696
00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:11,520
Speaker 1: these and I'm like, something's going.

697
00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:14,640
Speaker 2: On there is and you would have been there when Lisa,

698
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:20,120
Speaker 2: Marie and Benjamin Key over there, so his daughter and

699
00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:26,360
Speaker 2: her son. Yeah, she's just like the layers of family tragedy,

700
00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:31,879
Speaker 2: the intergenerational trauma from this family. Like Elvis's mom died

701
00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:34,880
Speaker 2: when he was really young, she was very young, in

702
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:38,400
Speaker 2: her fifties. Then he's died very young, leaving a child behind.

703
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:42,800
Speaker 2: Then her son committed suicide, you know, and then she

704
00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 2: has also died I think two years later, leaving behind

705
00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:51,120
Speaker 2: again very young children. I mean, there's like five generations

706
00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:56,800
Speaker 2: now living with this untimely parent and child deaths. Because

707
00:36:56,800 --> 00:37:00,759
Speaker 2: actually Elvis was also a twin and his his twin

708
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:03,640
Speaker 2: was stillborn, so his mum had the loss of a

709
00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:07,880
Speaker 2: child from the beginning. So these these stories of loss

710
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:11,480
Speaker 2: are so deeply embedded in that family. I don't know, Yeah,

711
00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:14,040
Speaker 2: it's yeah, it's something in it.

712
00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:17,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you're I think you're spot on. There

713
00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:23,880
Speaker 1: is something like so like powerful and beautiful about his music,

714
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:27,319
Speaker 1: though it is such a tragedy that he never left America. Yes,

715
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:31,040
Speaker 1: I'm such a tragedy, Like, oh, do you know what

716
00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:32,960
Speaker 1: I did? Though, not to nerd out too much on me,

717
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:35,200
Speaker 1: like there is a full segway because we've got to

718
00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:38,840
Speaker 1: talk about Bravocon, yes, but I so I did my

719
00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:41,880
Speaker 1: trip in Memphis with my mum. She then went on

720
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:43,680
Speaker 1: to Chicago, and I was like, fuck it, I'm going

721
00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:45,799
Speaker 1: to get a bus to Nashville. And I'm a big

722
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:49,040
Speaker 1: Johnny Cash fan. Wow, so for me Elvis and Johnny Cash.

723
00:37:49,239 --> 00:37:52,600
Speaker 1: So I went to Sun Studio as well, and I

724
00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:55,000
Speaker 1: just got the bus there myself. I was like, and

725
00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:57,600
Speaker 1: I booked a flight from Nashville back to LA I

726
00:37:57,680 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 1: was like, I would just like do a day in Nashville.

727
00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:04,560
Speaker 1: Took myself straight to the Johnny Cash Museum. Oh my

728
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:07,440
Speaker 1: goodness to anyone listening. If you ever go to Nashville,

729
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:09,719
Speaker 1: everyone goes to the Country Hall of Fame. Did that

730
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:14,040
Speaker 1: as well? Johnny Cash is another like his story is

731
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:16,520
Speaker 1: fantastic as well, and just like and I think those

732
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 1: two like had a big friendship, but also there's like

733
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:22,880
Speaker 1: a bit of a history of like their pain and

734
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:26,359
Speaker 1: stuff like that. Totally yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.

735
00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:29,879
Speaker 2: Such, there's there's so much I don't know. I feel

736
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:33,520
Speaker 2: like the stars of that time they just feel so

737
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:34,760
Speaker 2: much bigger.

738
00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 1: Yes, oh yeah, yeah yeah. So the segue to the

739
00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:42,239
Speaker 1: stars of this time, you are here for bravocon I am.

740
00:38:42,719 --> 00:38:45,800
Speaker 1: I was like, you're like, so you into here And

741
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:48,360
Speaker 1: I'd listened to one of your pop therapy episodes on

742
00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:51,799
Speaker 1: the Curious Life podcast and I was like, oh shit,

743
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:54,880
Speaker 1: I better quickly do some research. And I was like, okay,

744
00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:56,879
Speaker 1: I don't want to fake this. So I'm like, when

745
00:38:57,080 --> 00:39:03,399
Speaker 1: have I really delved into reality television? And it turns out,

746
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:05,880
Speaker 1: whenever I travel for work in America, it's like my

747
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:10,320
Speaker 1: comfort to put on Brav Amazing. And last year I

748
00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:13,160
Speaker 1: was in Florida for work and this show I just

749
00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:14,719
Speaker 1: had it on the whole time and it was a

750
00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:16,680
Speaker 1: really high pressure job, like I had to be on

751
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:19,239
Speaker 1: set filming, so I was like, you know when you

752
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:22,239
Speaker 1: come home and you need something to like just like

753
00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:25,759
Speaker 1: switch off to. But there's something really comforting in it.

754
00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:27,120
Speaker 1: Southern charm.

755
00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:30,160
Speaker 2: Oh my friend, Hello, talk to me.

756
00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:32,640
Speaker 1: Okay, what do you think? Well, this is what I

757
00:39:32,719 --> 00:39:35,239
Speaker 1: want to ask you about as a therapist, because I'm like,

758
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:39,759
Speaker 1: you're seeing all these like Peter Pan syndrome boys, bit

759
00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:42,759
Speaker 1: of bread crumbing going on and a bit of avoidance.

760
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:45,480
Speaker 1: I would say, oh yeah, so I imagine as a

761
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 1: therapist you have so much joy and like unpacking these

762
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:53,680
Speaker 1: different characteristics and human traits. Is that kind of the

763
00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:54,640
Speaker 1: crossover for you?

764
00:39:54,920 --> 00:39:59,120
Speaker 2: Yes, totally so Reality TV It's exactly what you're talking

765
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:02,520
Speaker 2: about me. I discovered it when I was working at

766
00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:06,400
Speaker 2: the Corners Court and I was like, I can't watch anymore,

767
00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:10,120
Speaker 2: you know, crime and everything was like I can't even

768
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:12,880
Speaker 2: think what was on, but everything was like grim and

769
00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:17,400
Speaker 2: I just needed a complete escape, and so I found

770
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:21,680
Speaker 2: The Real Housewive somehow. I don't know actually how I

771
00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:23,640
Speaker 2: got onto it because it was not airing in Australia,

772
00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:28,759
Speaker 2: but I found someone on eBay who would burn the

773
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:33,840
Speaker 2: DVDs for me and send them to Australia, and so

774
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:37,520
Speaker 2: I was obsessed from the beginning. It was only Orange

775
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:39,520
Speaker 2: County and New York were the only two at the

776
00:40:39,719 --> 00:40:41,759
Speaker 2: very beginning, and I was like, oh my god, I

777
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:45,240
Speaker 2: am like so into this. But before that, it was MTV.

778
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:48,000
Speaker 2: There was a few little bits and pieces of VH

779
00:40:48,080 --> 00:40:50,440
Speaker 2: one had some reality TV, but this was like on

780
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:56,200
Speaker 2: a whole other level, and it just became about escape.

781
00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:58,360
Speaker 2: And then it was like I had no one to

782
00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:01,080
Speaker 2: talk to about it that point, None of my friends

783
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:04,040
Speaker 2: are watching it. And then I started to discover that

784
00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:06,040
Speaker 2: there was a community.

785
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:09,000
Speaker 1: In a world you literally go on podcasts talking about it.

786
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:12,919
Speaker 2: I do, and I'm I'm obsessed with it. So it's

787
00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:16,120
Speaker 2: all about, Yeah, these people are living out lives that

788
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:20,120
Speaker 2: are so far removed from our everyday life. But what

789
00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:23,000
Speaker 2: goes on, it's all about the minutia, and it's all

790
00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:26,200
Speaker 2: about you know, some of it's gone too far, And

791
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:28,719
Speaker 2: if anyone's been a Real Housewives fan for a long time,

792
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:32,000
Speaker 2: you'll know that. Now the show just is all about

793
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:34,839
Speaker 2: like who said what on a podcast and who talked

794
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:37,880
Speaker 2: to which blogger? And you told me a lie about

795
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:42,520
Speaker 2: this and it's crap. Used to be about following people's

796
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:45,600
Speaker 2: lives and their families and their stories. And that's why

797
00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:47,680
Speaker 2: I feel like Southern charm is way better.

798
00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:50,320
Speaker 1: Or well for me, what got me is that accent

799
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:52,440
Speaker 1: because it also in Charleston, I think, and that like

800
00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:54,680
Speaker 1: I just love a little twang of an accent. I

801
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:57,239
Speaker 1: was like, oh, no, this is and then like, having

802
00:41:57,280 --> 00:41:58,920
Speaker 1: watched a few but I was only in Florida for

803
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:01,000
Speaker 1: like four days. But we'll just be on in the background.

804
00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:04,080
Speaker 1: And the way Bravo must work is you're just watching that,

805
00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:06,560
Speaker 1: like the next episode just keeps playing. It's so fun

806
00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:10,200
Speaker 1: and already I was like, oh, hang on, but this guy,

807
00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:12,799
Speaker 1: he's doing the dirty on her. But then he's making

808
00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:15,160
Speaker 1: her feel like she's the most special person in the world,

809
00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:18,200
Speaker 1: and it seems like they've got oodles of cash. Yeah.

810
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:21,759
Speaker 2: Also there's yeah, there's a couple of them there that have,

811
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:27,880
Speaker 2: you know, very very old money, big time Charleston, South Carolina,

812
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:31,719
Speaker 2: North Carolina families. Yeah, and then there are some kind

813
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:34,480
Speaker 2: of more everyday people that have kind of joined along.

814
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:39,000
Speaker 2: But it's all about like the meat and potatoes of

815
00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:44,439
Speaker 2: that show are the central guys to that show who

816
00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:48,680
Speaker 2: are just lifelong Peter pan yees, you know, and it's

817
00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:50,920
Speaker 2: you know, they've tried to make it a little bit

818
00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:54,319
Speaker 2: more of something else by bringing in, you know, more

819
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:59,239
Speaker 2: diversity and younger people and more girls, and it just

820
00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:02,960
Speaker 2: doesn't work as well. It's a different show. What really

821
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:08,520
Speaker 2: holds it together is these guys that are relentlessly pursuing women,

822
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:12,320
Speaker 2: claiming to be working on themselves and wanting to do better,

823
00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:17,480
Speaker 2: and it's just never any change. It's it's a joy.

824
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:18,359
Speaker 2: It's a pure joy.

825
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:20,719
Speaker 1: So what's your favorite show? If you're here for brother,

826
00:43:21,239 --> 00:43:22,680
Speaker 1: what are you most excited?

827
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:29,279
Speaker 2: I am excited to see Look, honestly, I'm excited to

828
00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:32,600
Speaker 2: meet all the podcasters that I've been I'm seeing a

829
00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:37,279
Speaker 2: few of them here in LA and then obviously in

830
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:39,719
Speaker 2: Vegas because we it's like, you know, we've got this

831
00:43:40,400 --> 00:43:42,320
Speaker 2: like you and me, you know, we do pods together

832
00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:45,080
Speaker 2: and then we're like online friends and so we've never

833
00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:48,360
Speaker 2: met in real life, so you know, to kind of

834
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:50,480
Speaker 2: hang out with them will be really cool. But then

835
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:55,000
Speaker 2: like real houses of Miami this year was amazing. Yeah, yeah,

836
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:57,520
Speaker 2: the last few years has been amazing. So I'm excited

837
00:43:57,560 --> 00:44:00,239
Speaker 2: to see them. I would love to see o G

838
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:04,319
Speaker 2: New York. Okay, some of these housewives will be there

839
00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:05,920
Speaker 2: and they are like amazing.

840
00:44:06,239 --> 00:44:08,560
Speaker 1: They're the real richies, aren't they. Like yeah, they see

841
00:44:08,719 --> 00:44:11,759
Speaker 1: like I feel like the original Housewives. Yeah yeah, like

842
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:15,160
Speaker 1: married to plastic surgeons and like super rich and wealthy.

843
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:16,439
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah.

844
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:20,680
Speaker 2: Those people are living those ridiculous lives that you just

845
00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:21,760
Speaker 2: can't even imagine.

846
00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:25,799
Speaker 1: And is it like is brother Coon like Panels where

847
00:44:25,840 --> 00:44:28,120
Speaker 1: everyone comes on from the show and they put a

848
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:30,759
Speaker 1: little bit like spice and fire in there to bring

849
00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:33,520
Speaker 1: two people on stage that have got a bit of beef?

850
00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:35,680
Speaker 2: Is that kind of the VARs You have just nailed

851
00:44:35,719 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 2: the elevator pitch.

852
00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:39,040
Speaker 1: That is exactly it. They did a bit of YouTube

853
00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:41,320
Speaker 1: before our chat. I was like, I gotta go in prepare.

854
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:44,279
Speaker 2: Yes, So it's three days, like it's going to be

855
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:46,720
Speaker 2: a marathon. I just have to prepare myself. It's everything

856
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:51,360
Speaker 2: from like Below Deck to Southern Charm, Southern Hospitality, you.

857
00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:54,000
Speaker 1: Know, all of the real house hospitality.

858
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:56,520
Speaker 2: Oh it's a spin off, you love it. It's a

859
00:44:56,600 --> 00:45:00,279
Speaker 2: spin off of Southern Chart where they've got all these

860
00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:03,040
Speaker 2: young people working in a bar and one of the

861
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:08,719
Speaker 2: girls from Southern Charm owns many many venues on King

862
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:12,839
Speaker 2: Street and Charleston, and so it's like og vander Pump

863
00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:17,759
Speaker 2: Rules where they actually all work for real, like excuse me,

864
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:23,080
Speaker 2: They're not just trying to be famous, and they are

865
00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:26,160
Speaker 2: all connected. And I think that's what makes a reality

866
00:45:26,239 --> 00:45:33,160
Speaker 2: show excellent is when there's genuine, authentic friendships and connections

867
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:35,640
Speaker 2: because we don't care about all the people that have

868
00:45:35,719 --> 00:45:38,920
Speaker 2: been cast and thrown together on a show and we're

869
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:42,600
Speaker 2: pretending that they know each other. That never works, you know,

870
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:45,680
Speaker 2: And so this is real and it's great. I've had

871
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:48,719
Speaker 2: one of the girls on my pod, Emmy Sharrett from

872
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:53,759
Speaker 2: Southern Hospitality, and you know, there are it is outrageous

873
00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:58,680
Speaker 2: on a level that can only be pre that big

874
00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 2: fame that comes, you know. Yeah, so they're like on

875
00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:08,720
Speaker 2: the rise and just have no no shame. Basically it's amazing.

876
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:11,680
Speaker 1: I love that you're like Aussy from Melbourne and you're like,

877
00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:14,719
Speaker 1: now I'm going to Vegas Bravo con here we are yeah,

878
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:19,440
Speaker 1: like yeah, it's it's amazing. Not many Aussies I talk

879
00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:21,000
Speaker 1: to are like, oh can we talk about like you

880
00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:23,800
Speaker 1: know what I mean? And it makes sense, Like I

881
00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:27,239
Speaker 1: love this, like pop therapy kind of also as well.

882
00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:31,000
Speaker 1: I feel like these people that seemingly have it all

883
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:34,560
Speaker 1: knowing like and you would know this from like a

884
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:38,840
Speaker 1: therapist's like viewpoint and lens like same problems, yeah, same

885
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:41,520
Speaker 1: like relationships stuff. If you don't sort out your shit

886
00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:43,440
Speaker 1: and grow up, like you're gonna sit in like not

887
00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:45,520
Speaker 1: grow up, but you know what I mean, like sit

888
00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:47,520
Speaker 1: with like why have we got a bit of bread

889
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:51,160
Speaker 1: crumbing going on in every single episode? Or you know, yeah,

890
00:46:51,239 --> 00:46:55,000
Speaker 1: anytime something gets hard, someone just self sues with getting

891
00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:58,200
Speaker 1: wasted whatever. Yeah, I mean so yeah, I imagine as

892
00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:00,800
Speaker 1: a therapist it's so fun to just break down the

893
00:47:00,880 --> 00:47:02,920
Speaker 1: human behavior at all, absolutely, And.

894
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:04,600
Speaker 2: So I think that's why I like doing those pop

895
00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 2: therapy episodes because I get to kind of talk about

896
00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:11,600
Speaker 2: it beyond the surface level of like just being a fan,

897
00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:15,520
Speaker 2: which I totally am. I'm a super fan, But it's

898
00:47:15,640 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 2: about digging deep and figuring out like what but why?

899
00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:22,440
Speaker 2: What would be the motivation behind saying something like that?

900
00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:24,520
Speaker 2: And why would they behave like that? What happened in

901
00:47:24,560 --> 00:47:28,200
Speaker 2: their childhood? Show me this person's family, why we need

902
00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 2: I need to see like her mother, I need to

903
00:47:30,719 --> 00:47:33,719
Speaker 2: understand what is going on here because this is not

904
00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:36,800
Speaker 2: just for the cameras. There's something very deep here that

905
00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:39,480
Speaker 2: we need to excavate a little bit. And when they

906
00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:42,480
Speaker 2: do bring family on to some of them, like Salt

907
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:47,440
Speaker 2: Lake City is the best franchise for me at the moment.

908
00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:52,160
Speaker 2: It is so they are so kooky and outrageous. They

909
00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:56,239
Speaker 2: are all completely unique people. And yes, they've been on

910
00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:58,680
Speaker 2: for a number of seasons now and it's it's it's

911
00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:02,160
Speaker 2: you know, house wise, but they are so different from

912
00:48:02,239 --> 00:48:04,720
Speaker 2: every other season. And we're starting to see why because

913
00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:09,880
Speaker 2: we're seeing these crazy, horrible parents or really, you know,

914
00:48:10,760 --> 00:48:14,400
Speaker 2: I mean, there's a mother. Bronwan Newport's mother comes on

915
00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:22,360
Speaker 2: and she is so cold and mean and nasty. This

916
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:25,719
Speaker 2: is Bronwyn has I'll give you a quick snapshot. Had

917
00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:29,640
Speaker 2: They're all Mormon, right, so they've got this. A lot

918
00:48:29,719 --> 00:48:32,520
Speaker 2: of them are Mormon. They've got very strong religious beliefs.

919
00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:38,319
Speaker 2: Bronwyn got pregnant at you know, eighteen or nineteen unexpectedly.

920
00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:41,520
Speaker 2: She was at BYU, the Mormon university. She was kicked

921
00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:46,320
Speaker 2: out of there. She was pregnant, unmarried, horror, horror, And

922
00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:50,680
Speaker 2: she raised the child and she's now married to this

923
00:48:50,880 --> 00:48:54,400
Speaker 2: very wealthy man, businessman, very serious, who's copped a lot

924
00:48:54,440 --> 00:48:56,239
Speaker 2: of flack over the last few years because he's just

925
00:48:56,320 --> 00:49:01,359
Speaker 2: seems very cold and not like he doesn't like her

926
00:49:01,520 --> 00:49:03,360
Speaker 2: very much. It's really pretty awful.

927
00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:04,520
Speaker 1: Yeah. Gross.

928
00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:07,840
Speaker 2: Then we meet the mother this season and she's exactly

929
00:49:08,040 --> 00:49:11,680
Speaker 2: like Todd a husband, and she says, you know, Bronlin's

930
00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:13,880
Speaker 2: trying to open up to her and talk about you know,

931
00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:17,160
Speaker 2: that was such a hard time for me being nineteen

932
00:49:17,400 --> 00:49:20,600
Speaker 2: and and the mother basically cuts her off and says,

933
00:49:20,640 --> 00:49:22,600
Speaker 2: it was a hard time for you. Do you know

934
00:49:22,640 --> 00:49:23,560
Speaker 2: what that did to me?

935
00:49:24,920 --> 00:49:27,840
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, no, no, oh wow, It's like that and

936
00:49:27,920 --> 00:49:30,480
Speaker 1: that was your therapy. Oh my god.

937
00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:34,400
Speaker 2: Every little micro expression that I've now seen in Bronlin,

938
00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:39,760
Speaker 2: every shutdown, all of the need to be liked by people,

939
00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:42,120
Speaker 2: it all makes so much sense.

940
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:46,920
Speaker 1: Yeah wow, yeah, okay, all right, well now you make

941
00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:49,120
Speaker 1: me want to watch all these amazing shows. So I

942
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:53,840
Speaker 1: have to ask. And I love the idea of because

943
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:58,280
Speaker 1: you know, you've got this really busy life, incredible Potteroo books, kiddos,

944
00:49:58,560 --> 00:50:02,239
Speaker 1: all of the fun things in Malves. But then you've

945
00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:04,440
Speaker 1: done this trip for yourself, and I want to talk

946
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:08,080
Speaker 1: about the importance of travel being a circuit breaker. And

947
00:50:08,200 --> 00:50:11,799
Speaker 1: also I think if I think travel is a form

948
00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:17,240
Speaker 1: of self care personally, so how do you as a therapist,

949
00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:19,640
Speaker 1: Like how important do you see travel? And like it

950
00:50:19,680 --> 00:50:22,080
Speaker 1: doesn't need to be flying to the other side of

951
00:50:22,080 --> 00:50:24,200
Speaker 1: the world, but like a wee can get away or you.

952
00:50:24,280 --> 00:50:28,920
Speaker 2: Know, it is so important. And I think even as

953
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:33,000
Speaker 2: you say, just as simple as if you know life

954
00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:36,680
Speaker 2: is expensive, if you can just get yourself to a

955
00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:40,799
Speaker 2: change of scenery in your area, you know, just even

956
00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:44,880
Speaker 2: doing that will do wonders for your mental state. Like

957
00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:48,200
Speaker 2: I find even just going for a walk, like it's

958
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:51,480
Speaker 2: like call it a bushwalk, but like just go and

959
00:50:51,640 --> 00:50:53,920
Speaker 2: find somewhere out in nature that you can just have

960
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:56,759
Speaker 2: a completely different scenery to your everyday life. Or if

961
00:50:56,760 --> 00:50:58,879
Speaker 2: you live in the country, go and get yourself into

962
00:50:58,920 --> 00:51:01,919
Speaker 2: a city. I'll walk around the city and you'll feel

963
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:05,560
Speaker 2: like you've been and done something that takes you out

964
00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:09,640
Speaker 2: of your headspace. So this this is the first time

965
00:51:09,680 --> 00:51:13,720
Speaker 2: I've been overseas since my eldest child was like eighteen

966
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:14,279
Speaker 2: months old.

967
00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:15,719
Speaker 1: Oh wow, I.

968
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:18,440
Speaker 2: Used to travel to ye.

969
00:51:19,880 --> 00:51:21,759
Speaker 1: I loved it. It was like my thing.

970
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:25,320
Speaker 2: And then you know, when we had one kid, we

971
00:51:25,440 --> 00:51:27,719
Speaker 2: did a big trip to Europe. My partner's Dutch, so

972
00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:30,120
Speaker 2: we went and saw his family and did a few

973
00:51:30,120 --> 00:51:33,880
Speaker 2: different things around Europe. And his mom's also from New Zealand,

974
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:36,920
Speaker 2: so we took him to New Zealand and we were like,

975
00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:39,680
Speaker 2: we went to Byron for a wedding. Like we were like,

976
00:51:39,760 --> 00:51:42,120
Speaker 2: one kid, this is amazing. Great. Then we had the

977
00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:45,319
Speaker 2: second kid and we've never left the country since. Wow,

978
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:47,560
Speaker 2: and this is like the longest time in my life.

979
00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:51,160
Speaker 2: I know this sounds very privileged and disgusting, but it's

980
00:51:51,600 --> 00:51:55,480
Speaker 2: it's just simply that that did so much for my soul.

981
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:58,560
Speaker 2: Is getting into another country, you know, going to India,

982
00:51:58,719 --> 00:52:02,320
Speaker 2: going all over Asia, you know, just immersing yourself in

983
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:05,279
Speaker 2: a different culture, the smells and the sounds and the

984
00:52:05,840 --> 00:52:08,719
Speaker 2: you know, the challenge that comes with having to put

985
00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:11,919
Speaker 2: yourself in a different place. Oh, you figure out like WHOA,

986
00:52:12,440 --> 00:52:15,120
Speaker 2: what do I do here? I mean, even arriving here,

987
00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:19,440
Speaker 2: you know, it's la It's not like India. But at

988
00:52:19,440 --> 00:52:21,120
Speaker 2: the same time, I get out of the airport and

989
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:22,799
Speaker 2: I'm like trying to get an uber and they're telling me, now,

990
00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:25,520
Speaker 2: I've got to get a shuttle to an uber zone.

991
00:52:26,120 --> 00:52:28,239
Speaker 2: Lax you know, and I was like, hang on, and

992
00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:31,080
Speaker 2: I'm queuing up with all these people. Literally nobody is

993
00:52:31,080 --> 00:52:31,880
Speaker 2: speaking English.

994
00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:33,880
Speaker 1: I should have given I've got the best driver, person,

995
00:52:34,560 --> 00:52:36,919
Speaker 1: I'll give it to you for your amazing home. Yeah,

996
00:52:37,160 --> 00:52:38,920
Speaker 1: this is unreal amazing. That's what you need.

997
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:42,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, someone that. Yeah, And I was like okay, and

998
00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:45,760
Speaker 2: like turn around to this person. I'm like, I'm so sorry,

999
00:52:45,920 --> 00:52:48,160
Speaker 2: but is this like how I get to the you know,

1000
00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:50,400
Speaker 2: it's such a nothing, but it gave me a challenge

1001
00:52:50,480 --> 00:52:52,080
Speaker 2: and I was like, whoa, Yeah, this is what it's

1002
00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:55,120
Speaker 2: like to be back in the world again, unencumbered I have.

1003
00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:57,200
Speaker 2: I've taken the kids up and down to Queensland a

1004
00:52:57,280 --> 00:53:01,040
Speaker 2: few times, but to be only worrying about me and

1005
00:53:01,200 --> 00:53:04,279
Speaker 2: my bag the whole time. I feel completely like, oh

1006
00:53:04,320 --> 00:53:07,200
Speaker 2: my god, I've forgotten something. This is like home alone.

1007
00:53:07,239 --> 00:53:11,760
Speaker 2: Who have I left behind? It's bizarre, but I feel

1008
00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:17,880
Speaker 2: like already I feel like old me again. Within twenty

1009
00:53:17,920 --> 00:53:20,279
Speaker 2: four hours, I feel like, oh my god, this is

1010
00:53:20,360 --> 00:53:23,279
Speaker 2: what it feels like just to be me, with my

1011
00:53:23,360 --> 00:53:26,239
Speaker 2: own thoughts and my own agenda and my own schedule.

1012
00:53:26,719 --> 00:53:30,800
Speaker 1: Totally. It's a but we just turned forty and we

1013
00:53:30,880 --> 00:53:33,040
Speaker 1: were like, oh, Alle's really expensive. So we're like, oh,

1014
00:53:33,040 --> 00:53:35,680
Speaker 1: we probably shouldn't travel. And my beautiful dad was like,

1015
00:53:35,960 --> 00:53:38,600
Speaker 1: let me, let me. He's like, do you fly. So

1016
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:40,440
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do all the calm. Oh my god. So

1017
00:53:40,560 --> 00:53:43,640
Speaker 1: we went to one of our dream locations, Jackson Hole

1018
00:53:43,680 --> 00:53:46,360
Speaker 1: in Wyoming. So we spent the whole time doing like

1019
00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:50,200
Speaker 1: Yellowstone National Park, granted, like driving with bison on the

1020
00:53:50,280 --> 00:53:53,800
Speaker 1: side of the road and like and just immersing yourself

1021
00:53:53,840 --> 00:53:57,640
Speaker 1: in a different world because it's very old western cowboy town.

1022
00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:01,600
Speaker 1: And we came back and we're like, it almost did

1023
00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:04,279
Speaker 1: this thing where just like our life priorities were so

1024
00:54:04,440 --> 00:54:08,520
Speaker 1: much clearer for spending four days in natures, Like it's

1025
00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:10,960
Speaker 1: like it's like gets rid of the clouds in your

1026
00:54:11,080 --> 00:54:13,279
Speaker 1: like there's the fog in your brain has gone. You're

1027
00:54:13,360 --> 00:54:15,800
Speaker 1: just like, yeah, oh my goodness, Okay, so Alai is

1028
00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:17,440
Speaker 1: this this is that? This is like and you just

1029
00:54:17,480 --> 00:54:21,120
Speaker 1: feel really clear and like hearing you talk because we

1030
00:54:21,200 --> 00:54:25,200
Speaker 1: don't have kiddos and I'm like, we have frozen embryos,

1031
00:54:25,880 --> 00:54:29,320
Speaker 1: but we are so like we love travel too, and

1032
00:54:29,440 --> 00:54:31,680
Speaker 1: I'm like we got to sneak as much, like just

1033
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:36,440
Speaker 1: as much travel because I just think travel brings freedom.

1034
00:54:36,719 --> 00:54:38,239
Speaker 1: I don't know. I know it can be free all

1035
00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:43,200
Speaker 1: the time, but there's something about like having that excitement

1036
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:46,120
Speaker 1: in your life that like things are like anything as possible,

1037
00:54:46,640 --> 00:54:47,840
Speaker 1: and that's what it is.

1038
00:54:47,920 --> 00:54:49,920
Speaker 2: It feels like anything is possible in America.

1039
00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:51,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, you feel that here.

1040
00:54:51,680 --> 00:54:54,040
Speaker 2: I landed here and I'm like walking down. I love

1041
00:54:54,160 --> 00:54:58,560
Speaker 2: the accent in West Hollywood and people are like smiling

1042
00:54:58,640 --> 00:55:01,120
Speaker 2: at me. It was obviously like I don't know some

1043
00:55:01,400 --> 00:55:03,360
Speaker 2: I guess it was just a sunny Saturday, but it

1044
00:55:03,520 --> 00:55:06,680
Speaker 2: was like heaving. Everyone was out. There were drag queens

1045
00:55:06,719 --> 00:55:11,160
Speaker 2: everywhere like hey girl, how are you. You're looking good girl.

1046
00:55:11,320 --> 00:55:14,000
Speaker 1: I'm like, hi, thanks, you know what? You what I

1047
00:55:14,120 --> 00:55:17,120
Speaker 1: love about Americans and having work for American companies now

1048
00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:21,640
Speaker 1: Americans are direct, yes, so whereas an Australians kind of

1049
00:55:21,840 --> 00:55:24,120
Speaker 1: sit back, we'll sit back a bit and kind of

1050
00:55:24,160 --> 00:55:26,759
Speaker 1: like wait to see how the cards fall, which I

1051
00:55:26,920 --> 00:55:29,439
Speaker 1: also love because an Australian is quite grounded and chill.

1052
00:55:29,560 --> 00:55:32,800
Speaker 1: I find it. Aussie's like we're at an Australian's birthday

1053
00:55:32,840 --> 00:55:35,200
Speaker 1: party last night and everyone's just like ah yeah, like

1054
00:55:37,400 --> 00:55:40,440
Speaker 1: there's no fluff. But an American and be like, oh

1055
00:55:40,480 --> 00:55:42,919
Speaker 1: my God, I love that skirt. Where is it from?

1056
00:55:43,080 --> 00:55:46,960
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, your hair? Like you'll but there is like

1057
00:55:47,120 --> 00:55:53,960
Speaker 1: a really nice directness here and a confidence. It's really fascinating.

1058
00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:57,040
Speaker 1: Like working with creatives too, You'll notice like people will

1059
00:55:57,040 --> 00:55:59,920
Speaker 1: be like, well you kind of like you pitched yourself

1060
00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:02,000
Speaker 1: this pod. That's like an American thing to do.

1061
00:56:02,280 --> 00:56:04,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm trying to be a bit better. I'm trying

1062
00:56:04,400 --> 00:56:06,520
Speaker 2: to be a bit more American because they are. They

1063
00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:08,440
Speaker 2: pitch themselves to me all the time, and I'm like,

1064
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:09,480
Speaker 2: why aren't I doing that?

1065
00:56:09,640 --> 00:56:12,680
Speaker 1: Will be doing that? I don't know if it's poppies,

1066
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:16,360
Speaker 1: we don't. We don't kind of sell ourselves. Americans know

1067
00:56:16,520 --> 00:56:18,560
Speaker 1: how to. I mean all these shows you're talking about

1068
00:56:19,480 --> 00:56:22,279
Speaker 1: people like, I'm sure they've all got off the back

1069
00:56:22,320 --> 00:56:24,640
Speaker 1: of these TV shows. They've probably got a fragrance line,

1070
00:56:24,680 --> 00:56:26,320
Speaker 1: an active wear line, like they've.

1071
00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:27,879
Speaker 2: Got all this Quilla is the big one.

1072
00:56:29,280 --> 00:56:32,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, their own pods yea, you know, like all this

1073
00:56:32,280 --> 00:56:35,040
Speaker 1: amazing success off the back of it. And I do

1074
00:56:36,040 --> 00:56:41,080
Speaker 1: love that feeling of your opportunity here and directness. And

1075
00:56:41,200 --> 00:56:44,719
Speaker 1: I think if an ossie comes here and like takes

1076
00:56:44,760 --> 00:56:47,920
Speaker 1: on those attributes, you can go back home and have

1077
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:50,160
Speaker 1: a really great I'm like, I can always pick an

1078
00:56:50,160 --> 00:56:52,719
Speaker 1: Aussie that's lived in an America now, yeah, because they've

1079
00:56:52,760 --> 00:56:55,080
Speaker 1: just got this, like it's like a quiet confidence where

1080
00:56:55,080 --> 00:57:00,560
Speaker 1: they they've got the they've learned how to like connect quickly.

1081
00:57:00,640 --> 00:57:01,560
Speaker 1: I think that's what Americans is.

1082
00:57:01,719 --> 00:57:06,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, So question for you, then, how do you manage

1083
00:57:06,440 --> 00:57:09,960
Speaker 2: your energy? Because I feel like it would cost me

1084
00:57:10,040 --> 00:57:14,560
Speaker 2: a lot of energy to be in that American way

1085
00:57:14,760 --> 00:57:17,720
Speaker 2: on all the time. You know, it feels like when

1086
00:57:18,080 --> 00:57:21,160
Speaker 2: even if you are not putting it out there, to

1087
00:57:21,280 --> 00:57:26,000
Speaker 2: be around people who are so direct and big and

1088
00:57:27,200 --> 00:57:30,960
Speaker 2: out there, like I feel like it would become a

1089
00:57:31,040 --> 00:57:33,200
Speaker 2: bit taxing, Like how do you manage your energy?

1090
00:57:33,880 --> 00:57:36,640
Speaker 1: So you won't believe this, But I am one hundred

1091
00:57:36,640 --> 00:57:38,960
Speaker 1: percent introvert, Like I am an introvert.

1092
00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:41,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, now going introvert, same as you the same.

1093
00:57:42,040 --> 00:57:45,800
Speaker 1: So like this is comfortable for me, a vulnerable chat

1094
00:57:45,880 --> 00:57:49,000
Speaker 1: with one person, yeah, sitting on a couch. But put

1095
00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:51,680
Speaker 1: me in a room of forty people if I'm not

1096
00:57:51,880 --> 00:57:55,360
Speaker 1: there to work like speaking or whatever. It is like

1097
00:57:55,720 --> 00:58:00,480
Speaker 1: sweaty palms yea. But the poet obviously feels so. And

1098
00:58:00,560 --> 00:58:03,919
Speaker 1: I've had sykes on the pod and writers that write

1099
00:58:03,920 --> 00:58:07,240
Speaker 1: about introverts, and like, I had this beautiful author come

1100
00:58:07,280 --> 00:58:09,400
Speaker 1: on the pod and she had a whole book about

1101
00:58:09,480 --> 00:58:11,040
Speaker 1: introverts and I sat with her. I was like, oh

1102
00:58:11,080 --> 00:58:13,160
Speaker 1: my god, I'm so excited. I'm an introvert. She was

1103
00:58:13,280 --> 00:58:18,080
Speaker 1: like what. Like, She's like, you can mask so well,

1104
00:58:18,120 --> 00:58:19,880
Speaker 1: and I obviously I am not aware. But here's my

1105
00:58:20,120 --> 00:58:22,400
Speaker 1: here's my thing for America and for anyone listening that

1106
00:58:22,560 --> 00:58:26,160
Speaker 1: like their career calls for bigger energy, but they know

1107
00:58:26,400 --> 00:58:30,000
Speaker 1: inside they need like alone time and going to the

1108
00:58:30,040 --> 00:58:33,520
Speaker 1: movies that is because it's so quiet and intimate and

1109
00:58:33,640 --> 00:58:36,480
Speaker 1: it's watching people live their passion, which is a really

1110
00:58:36,560 --> 00:58:40,280
Speaker 1: important like hallmark for me. But if I can go

1111
00:58:40,440 --> 00:58:43,720
Speaker 1: to the movies it's dark, it's super I'll go with

1112
00:58:43,800 --> 00:58:46,120
Speaker 1: some I'll usually go with a bud, but one person,

1113
00:58:47,480 --> 00:58:50,120
Speaker 1: and I've got like this, I've got to work right

1114
00:58:50,200 --> 00:58:52,400
Speaker 1: up until for today it's a Sunday in America, I've

1115
00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:53,640
Speaker 1: got a pod dropping and then I go straight to

1116
00:58:53,680 --> 00:58:57,120
Speaker 1: the movies. Wow. So that's like giving back thing to me.

1117
00:58:57,280 --> 00:59:00,000
Speaker 1: So quiet stuff I have to do, or I'll play

1118
00:59:00,160 --> 00:59:03,280
Speaker 1: a day with Matt's the opposite. He's an extrovert. He's

1119
00:59:03,320 --> 00:59:05,600
Speaker 1: like to the point that when I picked you up downstairs,

1120
00:59:05,640 --> 00:59:07,560
Speaker 1: I was like, we're at a time limit. Boo, I

1121
00:59:07,680 --> 00:59:09,160
Speaker 1: know you love to chat. And he's like, I'll take

1122
00:59:09,200 --> 00:59:11,240
Speaker 1: the girl straight away. I'll take the dog, don't worry.

1123
00:59:12,280 --> 00:59:14,160
Speaker 1: But he was like controlled, like he was like trying

1124
00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:16,400
Speaker 1: to show you the tricks the dog could do. Yes,

1125
00:59:16,640 --> 00:59:18,680
Speaker 1: So we're the opposite. And sometimes I'll have to say

1126
00:59:18,680 --> 00:59:22,160
Speaker 1: to Matt, I need full blown alone time and he's like,

1127
00:59:22,240 --> 00:59:24,320
Speaker 1: I got it. He's like, you stay here today and

1128
00:59:24,440 --> 00:59:27,960
Speaker 1: he'll like work upstairs, or like I have to like

1129
00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:30,560
Speaker 1: and I call it like lone wolf time, like I

1130
00:59:30,720 --> 00:59:34,320
Speaker 1: have to re calibrate that way, which is like classic

1131
00:59:35,280 --> 00:59:39,040
Speaker 1: introvert vibes, but also yeah, seeing passion, or like I've

1132
00:59:39,120 --> 00:59:41,480
Speaker 1: got my favorite playlist I have to listen to with

1133
00:59:41,680 --> 00:59:45,200
Speaker 1: noise canceling headphones. I can't hear anything else. I'll sit

1134
00:59:45,320 --> 00:59:48,120
Speaker 1: and just listen while I'm working or writing or journaling

1135
00:59:48,320 --> 00:59:51,760
Speaker 1: or planning. Yes, but it has to be like I

1136
00:59:51,840 --> 00:59:54,760
Speaker 1: can't have outside that will make me uncomfortable.

1137
00:59:55,240 --> 00:59:58,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes sense, complete sense. And you know, I

1138
00:59:58,560 --> 00:59:59,920
Speaker 2: think you and I have done a good job of

1139
01:00:00,080 --> 01:00:05,160
Speaker 2: picking partners that get it and they can soothe the anxiety.

1140
01:00:05,880 --> 01:00:09,480
Speaker 2: They don't feed into it. And like Chris is the same.

1141
01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:12,040
Speaker 2: He will take the boys out even if he's had them,

1142
01:00:12,320 --> 01:00:14,560
Speaker 2: Like I guarantee you I'll get back from this trip

1143
01:00:14,600 --> 01:00:17,320
Speaker 2: where he's had them on his own for eleven days

1144
01:00:17,400 --> 01:00:19,880
Speaker 2: or whatever it is, and he'll still be like, come on,

1145
01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:22,440
Speaker 2: I'll take the boys out so you can. You know,

1146
01:00:23,680 --> 01:00:26,360
Speaker 2: he just always knows that I just need some time

1147
01:00:26,800 --> 01:00:29,440
Speaker 2: without the noise, because that's the other thing. And if

1148
01:00:29,480 --> 01:00:33,200
Speaker 2: you do think about taking those little embryos off ice,

1149
01:00:34,080 --> 01:00:36,520
Speaker 2: that is the thing that has been the most overwhelming

1150
01:00:36,680 --> 01:00:41,120
Speaker 2: for me as an outgoing introvert. So I need that

1151
01:00:41,280 --> 01:00:45,360
Speaker 2: time alone and you don't get it. It's noise, and

1152
01:00:45,520 --> 01:00:48,160
Speaker 2: it's them trying to reabsorb back into your body at

1153
01:00:48,200 --> 01:00:52,560
Speaker 2: any given time, and just three different noise levels that

1154
01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:55,840
Speaker 2: they don't take turns in needing and wanting. It's all

1155
01:00:55,920 --> 01:00:59,520
Speaker 2: at the same time. It's a cacophony sound and energy

1156
01:00:59,640 --> 01:01:05,000
Speaker 2: and and it's amazing, but it's also like absolutely draining

1157
01:01:05,160 --> 01:01:08,320
Speaker 2: for me as someone who needs time alone.

1158
01:01:08,680 --> 01:01:11,520
Speaker 1: There's also there have to be studies on sound and

1159
01:01:11,880 --> 01:01:14,480
Speaker 1: the effect. Likes that because Matt's are composed us, so

1160
01:01:14,560 --> 01:01:16,520
Speaker 1: he composes next to me while I work and he

1161
01:01:16,640 --> 01:01:19,680
Speaker 1: can compose. He does a lot with headphones because I

1162
01:01:19,760 --> 01:01:22,480
Speaker 1: can't do the sound. Even though I love watching him

1163
01:01:22,520 --> 01:01:25,560
Speaker 1: do his passion. I'm like, if I can hear that

1164
01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:29,120
Speaker 1: and sirens outside, and I'm like, oh my god, I

1165
01:01:29,200 --> 01:01:31,400
Speaker 1: can't can't think, yeah, which is why I always have

1166
01:01:31,520 --> 01:01:34,040
Speaker 1: to have like, oh, oh my goodness. I love psychoanalyzing

1167
01:01:34,080 --> 01:01:36,640
Speaker 1: ourselves and so I could talk to you all day long.

1168
01:01:36,800 --> 01:01:40,320
Speaker 1: My last question for you is, though, for someone listening

1169
01:01:40,360 --> 01:01:42,600
Speaker 1: to this, that if they can do one thing today

1170
01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:45,600
Speaker 1: just to support their mental health or feel like a

1171
01:01:45,680 --> 01:01:49,680
Speaker 1: more vital version of themselves, what's something that they could

1172
01:01:49,760 --> 01:01:50,560
Speaker 1: implement today.

1173
01:01:52,160 --> 01:01:55,920
Speaker 2: I think it's that old kind of cliche of just

1174
01:01:56,120 --> 01:02:00,160
Speaker 2: trying to find one thing to do each day so

1175
01:02:00,320 --> 01:02:03,480
Speaker 2: that you feel like you're moving forward. And if that

1176
01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:06,360
Speaker 2: one thing is I'm going to go for a walk

1177
01:02:06,400 --> 01:02:09,520
Speaker 2: today and that's what you're committing to, then that's all

1178
01:02:09,560 --> 01:02:11,480
Speaker 2: you need to do. Or I've got a list of

1179
01:02:11,600 --> 01:02:13,720
Speaker 2: five thousand emails that I need to attend to and

1180
01:02:13,800 --> 01:02:15,200
Speaker 2: I just can't even Oh my god, where do I

1181
01:02:15,240 --> 01:02:19,640
Speaker 2: even start? Just answer one email, you know, Or you've

1182
01:02:19,680 --> 01:02:22,040
Speaker 2: got a list of endless things, where do I start,

1183
01:02:22,080 --> 01:02:24,280
Speaker 2: and you've got that task paralysis that we talked about.

1184
01:02:24,520 --> 01:02:28,800
Speaker 2: Choose one thing and then just that tiny little forward

1185
01:02:29,240 --> 01:02:32,760
Speaker 2: motion is what will help you feel like okay, like

1186
01:02:32,880 --> 01:02:37,120
Speaker 2: it's not so pressured and overwhelming and I can't cope,

1187
01:02:37,160 --> 01:02:39,840
Speaker 2: like I've done one thing today. Yeah, And it doesn't

1188
01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:42,880
Speaker 2: have to it doesn't have to be world changing. Just

1189
01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:46,320
Speaker 2: the smallest step forward helps you take the next one

1190
01:02:46,440 --> 01:02:48,720
Speaker 2: and the next one exactly.

1191
01:02:49,160 --> 01:02:51,680
Speaker 1: Oh, I love that. I can't believe it's taken us

1192
01:02:51,680 --> 01:02:53,000
Speaker 1: a couple of years to get you on the pod.

1193
01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:55,240
Speaker 1: I know, well, I guess living on the other side

1194
01:02:55,240 --> 01:02:57,840
Speaker 1: of the world makes a hard name for real life.

1195
01:02:57,920 --> 01:02:59,880
Speaker 1: But yes, it's been a joy to have you on

1196
01:03:00,080 --> 01:03:03,600
Speaker 1: on to the listener. Plot twist is available. I saw

1197
01:03:03,600 --> 01:03:05,040
Speaker 1: it on you. You can get on your website as well,

1198
01:03:05,160 --> 01:03:08,800
Speaker 1: can't you yep, and keep listening to your pod because

1199
01:03:08,800 --> 01:03:10,440
Speaker 1: your POD's unreal. So I'll put a link to your

1200
01:03:10,480 --> 01:03:13,360
Speaker 1: pod in the show note thank you the Curious Life podcast.

1201
01:03:13,520 --> 01:03:16,800
Speaker 1: That's it and can't see can't wait to see what's

1202
01:03:16,840 --> 01:03:19,280
Speaker 1: next for you. Let me know how the Priscilla stuff.

1203
01:03:19,680 --> 01:03:22,800
Speaker 1: I will, I will Elvis. I'm going to show you

1204
01:03:22,840 --> 01:03:25,840
Speaker 1: my Elvis photos after this amazing, Thanks for having me,

1205
01:03:26,080 --> 01:03:32,120
Speaker 1: thanks for jumping on. That's a wrap on another episode

1206
01:03:32,360 --> 01:03:36,880
Speaker 1: of Fearlessly Failing. As always, thank you to our guests,

1207
01:03:37,320 --> 01:03:42,680
Speaker 1: and let's continue the conversation on Instagram. I'm at Yamo Lollaberry.

1208
01:03:43,360 --> 01:03:47,480
Speaker 1: This potty my work for podcast is available on all

1209
01:03:47,640 --> 01:03:51,560
Speaker 1: streaming platforms. I'd love it if you could subscribe, rape

1210
01:03:51,680 --> 01:03:54,400
Speaker 1: and comment and of course spread the love.