Speaker 1: So there's something that really annoys me. It's really gotten
Speaker 1: under my skin. So the moment Macie regressing.
Speaker 2: What's regressing.
Speaker 1: Then they wake up early for no fucking reason. She
Speaker 1: usually seems like six o'clock, but she's been waking up
Speaker 1: like four thirty. It's fucking drag.
Speaker 2: Will you go to bed at like four thirty in
Speaker 2: the afternoon? So that's fucking fine.
Speaker 1: Tunny Apriel laughs so hard at that bit of the podcast.
Speaker 1: I was like, fuck, that's so add Yeah, so she's
Speaker 1: waking up really early and it's really pissed. But the
Speaker 1: thing that, you know what, that's fine, That's not the
Speaker 1: thing that annoys me. The thing that annoys me the
Speaker 1: most is when she wakes up that early and then
Speaker 1: at eight thirty in the morning she starts fucking yawning.
Speaker 1: The audacity on this child to do that. It's kind
Speaker 1: of like a slap in the face mid morning because
Speaker 1: she wakes the whole house up, so everyone's tired. But
Speaker 1: then she's just like, no shit, I don't.
Speaker 2: Know about you guys, but I'm hooped.
Speaker 3: It's been a big day.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to two going dads.
Speaker 1: I'm Matty Jay and I'm Ash.
Speaker 2: This is a conversation that is all about parenting, the good.
Speaker 1: The bad, and the nightmarish and the relatable of course,
Speaker 1: and if.
Speaker 2: There's anyone who may be listening for the very first time,
Speaker 2: we do have to give you just a quick little message,
Speaker 2: a warning to say, this is not in any way
Speaker 2: a podcast where advice should be taken on board.
Speaker 1: Not like literally take it, take it, do what you
Speaker 1: will with it. But it's not real. We take no
Speaker 1: response responsibility for what we have a solicitor.
Speaker 2: Just before you start listening, please sign this waive up.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, because at the bottom of the notes of
Speaker 1: the episode, yeah, ash, yes, it is the afternoon. It
Speaker 1: is the perfect time for an arvo. Ale. We're doing it.
Speaker 1: Here we go. Oh yeah, here's my friend. Thank you.
Speaker 1: It's been a big week, man, it's as some would say,
Speaker 1: it's a groundbreaking week because as of right now, I
Speaker 1: am what you call unemployed.
Speaker 2: I wasn't sure if we're going to are we them? No,
Speaker 2: we won't.
Speaker 1: Look that's all I'll say on.
Speaker 2: How quickly are you like? I'll say anything?
Speaker 1: And yeah, they're like you need to sign this NDA,
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, what's okay? And then just first thing,
Speaker 1: that comes out of my mouth is just I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm allowed to say I'm unemployed, which I am now
Speaker 1: as of today, which is great. So the Arvo Arvo
Speaker 1: ales in the Arvo from Better Beer and it's my
Speaker 1: favorite one of the range. The day just keeps getting better.
Speaker 2: If ever there was an occasion to crack a tinney
Speaker 2: and your favorite, nonetheless, it would be right now. Actually,
Speaker 2: is this day one of being unemployed?
Speaker 1: I've been anchoring all morning for a beer like now,
Speaker 1: I got a bas two hours it took me to
Speaker 1: get here worth it? Yeah, no driving home?
Speaker 2: Now deserve this? Yeah. And for the first time Ash
Speaker 2: has come to my place, not driving his car, but
Speaker 2: he's jumped on the public transport, which is no easy feed.
Speaker 2: It does take a while. How long did it take
Speaker 2: your door to delicate it?
Speaker 1: Two hours? I'm dedicated to the cause today, the Better
Speaker 1: Beer cause.
Speaker 2: And we're on the rotation of going through each different product.
Speaker 2: We've come back to what we started on the Arba
Speaker 2: Whale and it's just fucking delicious.
Speaker 1: It is good. It's definitely my favorite. I did like
Speaker 1: the ginger beer, surprisingly enough, but this I think that's
Speaker 1: the best one I've got so far from me. But
Speaker 1: I'm an ale guy. Like people don't like Ale, so
Speaker 1: I get it. But just to hinter of ail in
Speaker 1: this Ale.
Speaker 2: I really don't want to put any more pressure on
Speaker 2: better beer. But like the whole livelihood of Ash and
Speaker 2: his family.
Speaker 1: Is now resting on your shoulders.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so like And also to the listener, if anyone's going,
Speaker 2: do you know what I've had? What is it like?
Speaker 2: Eight or nine apps? And I think I've had enough
Speaker 2: of two doting dads. If you leave us right.
Speaker 1: Now, I will strip my clothes off to keep you.
Speaker 1: That's what's needed. I will do.
Speaker 2: It because well, actually no, hang on a second, you're
Speaker 2: not unemployed, because let's be fucking honest, mate, you're an influencer.
Speaker 1: I'm not.
Speaker 2: You just come up, don't even try. Don't even try.
Speaker 1: And what you call a content creator slash podcaster are now.
Speaker 1: But I don't bear the flag of influence your king
Speaker 1: dad influencer. I'm just king Dad, content creator.
Speaker 2: At you're one of us. Welcome of us, wet you've
Speaker 2: done your first trip you went to I did.
Speaker 1: Actually, First of all, what we were getting out is
Speaker 1: thank you better be here for for allowing us to
Speaker 1: create this episode. But yeah, I did just get back
Speaker 1: from Tokyo with Lulu Lemon amazing experience.
Speaker 2: You sound like such an influencer. I'm so blessed.
Speaker 1: I'm so hashtags hashtag gifted.
Speaker 2: No, look, it was a sick trip.
Speaker 1: It was a really good trip. It was a couple
Speaker 1: of days in Tokyo. They took us over there to
Speaker 1: have an immersive running experience, which was amazing. A big
Speaker 1: shout out to those guys. They put on an amazing
Speaker 1: four days long way to go.
Speaker 2: Also, like I mean, just it must have been really
Speaker 2: tough for yourself going all that way, being away from
Speaker 2: the family.
Speaker 1: Honestly, that the hardest part. That was the hardest part.
Speaker 1: Pretending to miss them. It was really hard. No, yeah, look,
Speaker 1: it wasn't a family trip. I wouldn't take the family
Speaker 1: there mainly because I don't want to be stuck on
Speaker 1: a plane with them for ten hours. But you look,
Speaker 1: it's a crazy city in oscar I would have lost him.
Speaker 1: Let's be honest.
Speaker 2: You lose Macy in the apartment.
Speaker 1: I've lost Macie and Just in the apartment.
Speaker 2: Let alone, like crossing, am I saying it right?
Speaker 1: She's the Shaboya Scramble act, I apologize forgive me, I'm
Speaker 1: the local.
Speaker 2: Now what was your favorite part?
Speaker 1: Probably I got to skate across the ship boy scramble,
Speaker 1: which I was severely hungover doing so and just finished
Speaker 1: a massive Japanese meal, so it was just planned or no,
Speaker 1: I just sole skater off one of the locals. Is
Speaker 1: really I mean they're such lovely people, did you honestly? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was just like can I borrow that? It was
Speaker 1: like yeah, sweet, straight across and we had like a
Speaker 1: photographer and like video created there. So shout out to
Speaker 1: Sam as well, but like that was that wasn't that
Speaker 1: was just off the calf, off the calf. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: it made the final cut for their video.
Speaker 2: I can't of got over to the fact that this
Speaker 2: guy's just let someone looking like yourself like stinking and.
Speaker 1: Yeah that was good. Also, the running experience was really good,
Speaker 1: Like it was really start stop because we went through
Speaker 1: Old Tokyo, so I saw more than I would have
Speaker 1: seen in a week there going on my own to adventure.
Speaker 1: Like it was like we did. It worked out to
Speaker 1: be like nine k's through Old Tokyo. We got a
Speaker 1: train during the run and some of the other through
Speaker 1: did New Tokyo, which was looked amazing as well. So yeah,
Speaker 1: it was crazy for a first you know, influence a trip.
Speaker 2: How was it coming back to the hotel, because you
Speaker 2: know when you're away and you're like, I do actually,
Speaker 2: I'm sure there are moments you did miss the kids
Speaker 2: and you're like, I'll do a FaceTime and that they
Speaker 2: don't really give a shit.
Speaker 1: Sometimes yeah, FaceTime. I FaceTime And then they were at
Speaker 1: kmart in the toy section, so I was ter. I
Speaker 1: was not in whatever. I was like, oh, I know
Speaker 1: you like whatever, I'm looking for a month to truck
Speaker 1: now beat it. That's pretty much the attitude I got.
Speaker 1: The first morning, I woke up reasonably early, like similar
Speaker 1: time difference, it's like an hour difference. I woke up
Speaker 1: reasonably early to call apel, so it didn't seem like
Speaker 1: I was sleeping in because I didn't want to rub
Speaker 1: it anymore, and I'm like, oh, I'm just working over
Speaker 1: At ten o'clock it was like seven o'clock. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I've just woken up, Like I got like a little
Speaker 1: half hour sleep in. It was believable. But back to sleep,
Speaker 1: how did.
Speaker 2: You go back? Because if you've got activities at nighttime
Speaker 2: beyond your normal bedtime, which is quite seven. How did
Speaker 2: you go?
Speaker 1: Sweet? Fight up? The body clock was just body clock
Speaker 1: was just non existent. It was so good. I really
Speaker 1: I feel like I did as much as I could
Speaker 1: in that time, and drank as much as I could
Speaker 1: in that time, and age as much as I did
Speaker 1: in that time, and I was not prepared to run
Speaker 1: nine k's.
Speaker 2: Do you think that you'll now do teeth Whiting promotions
Speaker 2: today or will that come down?
Speaker 1: I'm just waiting for Visilan to jump on the band way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh look I drink wear far too much coffee for
Speaker 1: that walking around with four or five strips on my face.
Speaker 1: But yeah, full hashtag gift. I guess that's what you've
Speaker 1: got to do now. So if the ATO are listening,
Speaker 1: gifted hashtag gifted, gifted.
Speaker 2: Still got that skateboard?
Speaker 1: No, I gave it back. It's a nice scale roll,
Speaker 1: really nice.
Speaker 2: Hey. While some of us have been enjoying gallivant around
Speaker 2: the world, the rest of us have been fucking in
Speaker 2: the trenches.
Speaker 1: In the absolute. You know, it's nice to get away
Speaker 1: bit of recent. I did, I honestly I did, like
Speaker 1: I get home and I see them after four days
Speaker 1: and I was like, I missed them.
Speaker 2: It doesn't last long, though, does it?
Speaker 1: About thirty I'll get to that point thirty minutes and
Speaker 1: you're like, oh I missed Tokyo emailing going. Am I
Speaker 1: invited next year? I hope so.
Speaker 2: But I've you know, I've been putting in the hours
Speaker 2: as I normally do.
Speaker 1: You're a part work.
Speaker 2: I would like a little break, to have a reset.
Speaker 2: It's not going to happen for a little while. We
Speaker 2: do have a trip coming up, but I've come off
Speaker 2: the back end. Dancing with the Stars is now finished.
Speaker 2: They've finished filming. It'll be on air in like a
Speaker 2: couple of weeks.
Speaker 1: Is it a couple? I thought? Why did I think
Speaker 1: it was already on?
Speaker 2: I think it starts on like the eighteenth of June,
Speaker 2: so pretty soon.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm going to pencil it in.
Speaker 2: So I bet you can't fucking wait to watch Laura dance.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to watch it.
Speaker 2: The most amazing Fox trots you've ever seen.
Speaker 1: As actually we'll see.
Speaker 2: And that you're not going to watch it kind hard
Speaker 2: to fucking get count.
Speaker 1: Now they've got a calendar on the Friegelant.
Speaker 2: But I've done every morning with the girls, doing the
Speaker 2: daycare runs the last couple of weeks, and it's got
Speaker 2: to the point where my patience is pretty thin. And
Speaker 2: there was one little thing that really just set me off.
Speaker 2: And it was nothing like in the scheme of things.
Speaker 2: It was. If it was in a normal routine where
Speaker 2: me and Laura are sharing the responsibility, it would have
Speaker 2: been fine. But it sounds so fetaty. It really does.
Speaker 1: Had to complain about having kids and then having two parents.
Speaker 2: The kids that you have, well, someone did mess with
Speaker 2: on social media and they're like, like, why'd you have them?
Speaker 2: If you're going to complain about.
Speaker 1: It, I'm pretty sure having kids like part of complaining
Speaker 1: is part of being a parent. If you don't complain,
Speaker 1: what's the point. What are you going to talk What
Speaker 1: are you going to talk about with your friends?
Speaker 2: Like? Nothing?
Speaker 1: The good things?
Speaker 2: Yeah it is, But I was making breakfast, running really
Speaker 2: really late as well. I had to go to work.
Speaker 1: And you didn't have a job. But yep, I.
Speaker 2: Okay, don't get me started. But I thought, you know,
Speaker 2: Marley always has toast in the morning, like every single morning.
Speaker 2: I always, I always just butter, just butter. She just
Speaker 2: wants the butter, and I always ask her what do
Speaker 2: you want? She goes, I want toast. I just want butter,
Speaker 2: and I got cool this morning. I was like, I'm
Speaker 2: not even gonna ask her. I was going to put
Speaker 2: the toast down and I start putting butter on it.
Speaker 2: She comes out and she looks at me and she's like,
Speaker 2: fuck are you doing I'm making it? Are you doing
Speaker 2: as if I'm like smearing ship on the bread and
Speaker 2: I'm making you butter on toast. And she's like, I
Speaker 2: don't want that. I just want peanut butter. And I said,
Speaker 2: why can put peanut butter on top of.
Speaker 1: The butter, and how it should be done anyway.
Speaker 2: Which is delicious, which is great, and she's like start
Speaker 2: an argument. She goes, no, I don't want any butter.
Speaker 2: I just want the peanut butter. And I'm trying to
Speaker 2: explain to her, like, hey, I hear you want the
Speaker 2: peanut butter. You're not even go to taste the butter.
Speaker 2: She's just gonna make it a little bit more delicious.
Speaker 1: It's going to make it like peanut buttery.
Speaker 2: She's like, I don't want it, and I'm like, you're
Speaker 2: going to eat it, and I'm like, I don't want
Speaker 2: to wait. Literally, I'm like, you're going to have this,
Speaker 2: and then I raise my voice. She starts crying, Oh
Speaker 2: my fuck. You know, so then end up putting more
Speaker 2: toast down. We get out the door, and it's not
Speaker 2: until you get back from daycare and the house is
Speaker 2: quiet that you then feel a little bit guilty and
Speaker 2: you're like, oh, probably shouldn't have gotten angry in that situation.
Speaker 1: But I'm just going to have a wan.
Speaker 2: Shit. Dad of the Year Ashton Wicks made what I
Speaker 2: was talking about. Oh yes, I got home, jumped on
Speaker 2: social media and a friend had sent me this video
Speaker 2: and he was another dad and he was like, oh,
Speaker 2: I think this video is. It's like quite a beautiful
Speaker 2: thing and I find it really helps me. I watched it.
Speaker 2: This is a video action. I'm going to give you
Speaker 2: a little listen right now.
Speaker 4: Okay, any time you getting frustrated with them, just close
Speaker 4: your eyes and imagine you are eighty years old and
Speaker 4: you have a time machine that is bringing you right
Speaker 4: back to this moment, and this is the only moment
Speaker 4: you will get with them again when they're young.
Speaker 1: It's awesome.
Speaker 4: I mean, it's incredible advice.
Speaker 2: That's very good advice, very good advice.
Speaker 4: And it totally changes everything, and you're like, oh yeah,
Speaker 4: I'll take this.
Speaker 1: All day long. First of all, if my kid's having
Speaker 1: a meltdown, the only reason I'm closing my eyes is
Speaker 1: to escape the reality of the situation. I'm not thinking
Speaker 1: about me being eighty. First of all, I don't want
Speaker 1: to live to eighty offense of the eighty year olds
Speaker 1: living out there. That is old. I don't want to
Speaker 1: get there. For starters, But that's garbage.
Speaker 2: I think it's such a shit video.
Speaker 1: Who has the patience to be like, hang on a minute, Okay, well,
Speaker 1: you're having a meltdown and just doing something completely unreasonable
Speaker 1: because you don't have any control of your emotions yet
Speaker 1: because you're so young. Let me just close my eyes
Speaker 1: for second. Should just fucking run off? Maybe just visualize
Speaker 1: what it would be like to be eighty. So that's
Speaker 1: the first step. Then the second step, I'm going to
Speaker 1: visualize that this is the last day that I'm ever
Speaker 1: going to see you. That sounds amazing. And third of all,
Speaker 1: it's like I'm meant to get completely changed. My feelings
Speaker 1: about the situation because of that just doesn't make any
Speaker 1: fucking sense to me. Look, if you're that holistic person,
Speaker 1: good for you.
Speaker 2: Great.
Speaker 1: Maybe I would do it at home. If it was
Speaker 1: like something happened and we got home and then I
Speaker 1: had some quiet time and you can reflect on it,
Speaker 1: then I understand it. But in the moment, in the moment,
Speaker 1: I fucking has time for that. I'm fighting you and
Speaker 1: you're fighting me.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: My thoughts on that.
Speaker 2: I hate the fact that it just plays into that
Speaker 2: parent guilt of like, this is the last time you're
Speaker 2: ever going to see your child and if you don't make.
Speaker 1: It, does that guy even have any kids?
Speaker 2: Well? And if he does, I bet you he's there
Speaker 2: for like two hours on the weekend and he's playing
Speaker 2: golf for the other like rescidence.
Speaker 1: With Joe Rogan. Yeah, anyone that's hanging out with Joe
Speaker 1: Rogan ain't looking after their kids. Absolutely. First of all,
Speaker 1: I need to know if he's got kids, so let's
Speaker 1: look that up. But that's the sort of advice you'd
Speaker 1: get from someone who doesn't have kids. If someone who
Speaker 1: doesn't have kids try to give me any advice, I'm like,
Speaker 1: let me stop you right there. Can I talk to
Speaker 1: your parents. Yeah, you've got no fucking idea. People are like,
Speaker 1: I'm going to be such a patient dad, No you're not, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you wanre not.
Speaker 2: Does not work like that.
Speaker 1: The ones that show real patients end up being axe
Speaker 1: murderers down the line because they can't get the emotion out.
Speaker 2: Totally, totally. I think, who has got the time? You're
Speaker 2: going to spend your entire freaking day visualizing yourself being
Speaker 2: eighty because it's just relentless looking after the toddlers. It's
Speaker 2: just like getting ready in the morning, like getting the
Speaker 2: shoes on, having breakfast, getting out the door, getting in
Speaker 2: the prem like.
Speaker 1: Everything is extenssive. Task of the way is going to
Speaker 1: be a melt and you know what is happening. The
Speaker 1: toddlers are probably going he goes dad again, closing. I'm
Speaker 1: right here, and they don't give a ship what you're doing.
Speaker 1: That's what I mean. If I close my eyes, Oscar
Speaker 1: would be like, I'm fucking out of here, man, Like
Speaker 1: I'm going to go see someone who's not going to
Speaker 1: close their eyes when they carry on like this.
Speaker 2: It's also the conversation about gentle parenting when people are like,
Speaker 2: you can't raise your voice to the kid. And look,
Speaker 2: don't get me wrong, within reason, you shouldn't be young
Speaker 2: at your kid every minute of the day.
Speaker 1: Onetime something for the record, show that. But unless I
Speaker 1: raise my voice, nothing gets done.
Speaker 2: Nothing gets done. I could be like, onlie, please put
Speaker 2: your socks on, and unless I'm like put your socks
Speaker 2: on right now, she's just going to be like give
Speaker 2: me the bird.
Speaker 1: And push you and push you and push you. So
Speaker 1: have you seen that guy's content where he's like in
Speaker 1: the car and like someone's pretending to be his daughter
Speaker 1: and they're like left their bag. They're like, okay, accidentally left.
Speaker 1: It's it's okay, and then it's got like a normal
Speaker 1: parents Like what.
Speaker 2: That costs me?
Speaker 3: Fucking so much?
Speaker 1: Like nothing gets done, nothing happened unless you're like you
Speaker 1: know how you meet those people who don't need to
Speaker 1: yell to hit their voice to be heard. They just
Speaker 1: have a real stroke. I don't have that. I'm very
Speaker 1: much like if I was to get like that, it's yelling,
Speaker 1: Like sometimes I'm not even yelling at it was like
Speaker 1: do you have to yell? I'm like just I just
Speaker 1: want to be heard in my own house. And these
Speaker 1: fucking kids, put your shoes on.
Speaker 2: I'm glad you hate that video because I read the
Speaker 2: comments and everyone's like, that's such amazing advice. We should
Speaker 2: all live like that and parent like that. I'm like,
Speaker 2: fuck up people who say we should live every day
Speaker 2: like it's your last.
Speaker 1: You should all live naked on a farm somewhere.
Speaker 2: It's not the fucking reality of parenting. Okay, I'm glad
Speaker 2: on the same page.
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, Like that's fucking dribble. I know we said
Speaker 1: we're not going to talk too much shit and poo
Speaker 1: on this podcast, but it seems to come up every episode,
Speaker 1: so I'm just going to run with it.
Speaker 2: It's all good for it. One lady did say, like,
Speaker 2: you guys really do talk about your kids pool lit.
Speaker 2: It's a little bit too much information.
Speaker 1: She's probably staring at it. If she's got young enough kids,
Speaker 1: she's probably like, if I see a shit, at least
Speaker 1: I know what to do with it and throw it out.
Speaker 1: If it's mum, she's like, gives a look, what color
Speaker 1: is it.
Speaker 2: It's telling us to not talk about kids pooh is
Speaker 2: like telling a footy podcast not to talk about rugby league.
Speaker 1: It's like, don't talk about rugby league. On this Rugby
Speaker 1: League podcast, all we talk about absolutely, we just talk
Speaker 1: about kids and their shit.
Speaker 2: What happened?
Speaker 1: So Oscar's like toilet train now so, which is great
Speaker 1: of course, except for I've got to wipe it from
Speaker 1: a different angle than i would with an appy. It's
Speaker 1: a little bit. I actually hit my head on the
Speaker 1: This is completely unrelated to the story. I went to
Speaker 1: bend over to help him wipe it. Hit my head
Speaker 1: on the counter. So I haven't asked why injury concussion.
Speaker 2: We're eleven days whereabouts.
Speaker 1: Right on the top, didn't wear how to or This is.
Speaker 2: Completely unrelated and probably won't make the cart. Give me
Speaker 2: your hand for a sec.
Speaker 1: What's that? Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, So once I was doing a piss.
Speaker 1: Did you just get a haircut?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Sorry, Oh my god. Sorry. Once I was doing
Speaker 2: a piss and it was such a big piss after
Speaker 2: a big night out.
Speaker 1: I love that piss. There's something that's better than sex,
Speaker 1: that piss.
Speaker 2: And I was standing there and I was just like.
Speaker 1: Oh, just the flow of it.
Speaker 2: I was coming out. It was like a damn that
Speaker 2: had just like opened.
Speaker 1: Up and it was just like I'm feeling.
Speaker 2: I don't know, like the exact rate of piss. But
Speaker 2: it was just like lead.
Speaker 1: To ps PSI on those things.
Speaker 2: And then it just wouldn't stop. It wouldn't stop and
Speaker 2: kept going and going going, and I was like, fucking hell,
Speaker 2: I've been here for a while now, so I was like,
Speaker 2: I'll just give it a little little push to help
Speaker 2: it come out, to finish it off. And I started
Speaker 2: pushing and and then next thing you passed down. I
Speaker 2: fucking and I woke up on the bathroom floor covered
Speaker 2: in piss and blood everywhere because I hit the head
Speaker 2: in the corner of the bar.
Speaker 1: That that is a great story. I can't believe you've
Speaker 1: never told me that before. When was that?
Speaker 2: That was when I was like twenty four, that's great.
Speaker 2: I just like moved to Bondy and I was like,
Speaker 2: I love that having nights out back in year.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Four stitches, four stitches.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's wild.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I was so confused.
Speaker 1: When I woke up, I bet we covered in pistol.
Speaker 2: I was covered in piss. The thing was still flowing.
Speaker 2: When I woke up, I came to it was still
Speaker 2: pumping out.
Speaker 1: You could have died. Imagine that as your death story.
Speaker 1: That would be so funny.
Speaker 2: He went how he would have liked to have.
Speaker 1: Gone, Yeah, really pushing out the sorry I'd interrupted anyway,
Speaker 1: So Oscar is toilet train now, which is great except
Speaker 1: for like he's got like sometimes you've got to sit
Speaker 1: in there with him, and you've got to witness the crime,
Speaker 1: witness the crime happening instead of just coming in ut
Speaker 1: in the aftermast it's cleaning up.
Speaker 2: It's such a unique environment being in the same room
Speaker 2: as someone else as they're like staring you in the
Speaker 2: eyes as they're pushing out a massive shit. It's a
Speaker 2: real bonding experience.
Speaker 1: And when you hear it splash and they splashes up
Speaker 1: on their bum.
Speaker 2: Marley makes it. Marley makes me hold it. So makes
Speaker 2: me hold her hands, just like hold my hands, hold
Speaker 2: my hand, and I'm like, it's like she's you know,
Speaker 2: in mid like exorcism. The demons are leaving her.
Speaker 1: Body, pinching off a log land some cable. So yeah,
Speaker 1: but he's obviously he stands up to wee because he's
Speaker 1: the boy. Yes, which no one does that in your house,
Speaker 1: does he have he's a little stool, but he doesn't
Speaker 1: really necessarily need he can reach, but he's got a stool,
Speaker 1: so the other day, he's come home from kindy and
Speaker 1: he's got oh, he's always got to announce, he's got
Speaker 1: a week away. He turned a light on for him
Speaker 1: walk away. He does this thing and I hear this
Speaker 1: fart right, it's like so long, and I was like,
Speaker 1: first of all, proud of that one. He just went
Speaker 1: quiet and I walked in and he hasn't really noticed.
Speaker 1: He's still weing that he's diarrheared down his legs full like,
Speaker 1: he just fully down his legs and he stood his
Speaker 1: pants on around his ankles and it's built up a
Speaker 1: puddle in the bottom of his dacks. And when he's
Speaker 1: come to realize full meltdown, and I was like, you
Speaker 1: got to cleaner. We had to throw the clothes out.
Speaker 1: That was just so bad that we had to throw
Speaker 1: the clothes out completely. But it got me thinking a
Speaker 1: little bit like father, like some a couple of years ago.
Speaker 1: So a couple of years ago, I went to Magi
Speaker 1: Grant NRL. Shout out to Casey who I went with,
Speaker 1: And it was the Friday night, the first night.
Speaker 2: This isn't anyone who's not in Brisbane, and it's like there's.
Speaker 1: All the games of Nral played in the Wednesday.
Speaker 2: One of the biggest weekends of Rugby League of the
Speaker 2: entire season.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, biggest weekend for arrest.
Speaker 2: And you could say that there's a couple of drinks
Speaker 2: get drunk, a couple.
Speaker 1: Of leisurely drinks get drunk. Anyway, it's the first night.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: We're at sun Corps Stadium watching one of the games
Speaker 1: and I thought I could sneak out a little fart.
Speaker 1: Turns out it was on the flock and I leant
Speaker 1: over to my mate and I said, I've just I've
Speaker 1: just shipped myself and he was like, oh fuck. I
Speaker 1: met sun Corps Stadium and I was like, shit, we're
Speaker 1: staying at a hotel across the road. It's still quite
Speaker 1: a walk.
Speaker 2: In that moment, were you thinking this is just like
Speaker 2: a slight slip, a little splash.
Speaker 1: Or you like, oh no, I think this is rock bottom.
Speaker 1: The fact that I recalled the story as soon as
Speaker 1: I saw a pool of shit in the bottom of
Speaker 1: a pantsd He's sort of walking behind me. We're just
Speaker 1: making tracks up to this hostel and he was like
Speaker 1: is it bad? Is it bad? And like I was like,
Speaker 1: crack the door for him to have a look, and
Speaker 1: I've completely mud slid in these underpants and it was
Speaker 1: like a pool at the bottom, and it's just trapped itself.
Speaker 1: So what's happened is the splatter is actually stuck to
Speaker 1: my butt cheeks to form the perfect carrying poo apparatus,
Speaker 1: and I just had to ditch it all, toss it
Speaker 1: in the bin somewhere on the way out. Let's get
Speaker 1: on with my life.
Speaker 2: How old are you at this point?
Speaker 1: Oh? This is like three years ago. So I when
Speaker 1: I saw Oscar standing there and I thought, this is it.
Speaker 1: This is what they mean when they say like father,
Speaker 1: like son.
Speaker 2: Were you proud?
Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, I was like one day, son, me and
Speaker 1: you're both gonna shit up.
Speaker 2: We're going to magic around, have you I'm going to
Speaker 2: I think I know the answer to this question. It's
Speaker 2: not so much have you it's more okay? So yes,
Speaker 2: lying to your children?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yep, yep.
Speaker 2: Have you told many lies to your kids at all?
Speaker 2: Either to maybe get them to behave or to avoid
Speaker 2: a meltdown?
Speaker 1: So at the moment, So, my son turns four this week,
Speaker 1: So for four years he has yet to have a
Speaker 1: birthday party, because every birthday party we go to someone else's.
Speaker 1: I'm just telling him that that's also his birthday party.
Speaker 2: What do you mean on his first birthday?
Speaker 1: I've saved so much money. No, we just like to
Speaker 1: small family things, but like not it's big who who
Speaker 1: go to the big who has? And I just say
Speaker 1: to Oscar and he's like, he's like, when's my party?
Speaker 1: Like this, this is it. He's had about four or
Speaker 1: five birthday parties.
Speaker 2: This year, so he's very lucky.
Speaker 1: He's a very lucky boy. It was funny because I
Speaker 1: put like a little thing on my Instagram this week saying, hey,
Speaker 1: what should I get this four year off his birthday?
Speaker 1: One of our friends rode on their birthday party one.
Speaker 2: At what point do you think you'll actually give him
Speaker 2: a birthday party?
Speaker 1: Well, originally we thought originally we thought we won't give
Speaker 1: him one until he asked for one, But he asked
Speaker 1: for one really early, so we threw that out of
Speaker 1: the window. And now we're just we're just winging it
Speaker 1: until he realizes, yeah.
Speaker 2: Up until four it is quite ridiculous. Like we gave
Speaker 2: Marley a very extravagant birthday party at home.
Speaker 1: It was I think it was homes.
Speaker 2: There are at home, but we still, like, you know,
Speaker 2: we had still do the Yeah, we had.
Speaker 1: Like, did you have entertainment, like a child entertainer not
Speaker 1: a stripper?
Speaker 2: We did. I think, Well, Marley's aut to turn four
Speaker 2: and she's really chomping on this idea of having a
Speaker 2: fairy like she wants a fairy birthday.
Speaker 1: Party, and that's pretty common for her girl.
Speaker 2: We know we never had an entertainer, but I think
Speaker 2: we went all out for the first birthday party, second, third, Yeah,
Speaker 2: just like it was down the pub almost more a
Speaker 2: place where the kids can run around and the parents
Speaker 2: can have a drink. But now we've got the fourth.
Speaker 1: Birthday after ours.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, you may get an invite.
Speaker 1: You have to too far for us, Yeah yeah, all right,
Speaker 1: Well the thing we're going to on Saturday, the Blue thing.
Speaker 1: I told Oscar that's it's like that's a few birthday.
Speaker 2: That's his birthday for anyone who's unfamiliar. Ash and I
Speaker 2: both because Ash is an influencer gifts, say that we've
Speaker 2: got an invite to a Blue premiere.
Speaker 1: And Blue is going to be there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so Ash's.
Speaker 1: Like birthday parties sort it.
Speaker 2: That is it, But we might get the entertainer.
Speaker 1: Speaking of entertainers for parties, children's parties specifically. We're at
Speaker 1: the park. This is a little while ago. I'm talking
Speaker 1: like two or three months ago, and it's one of
Speaker 1: those parks where they have, you know, multiple parties at
Speaker 1: once because great, okay, because then like kids join in
Speaker 1: the big park and whatever. But we weren't there for
Speaker 1: a party. We're just there at the park with some
Speaker 1: friends and whatever. And all of a sudden, this guy
Speaker 1: comes running out of the bush, full like head to
Speaker 1: toe black with his eyes out like this. He was
Speaker 1: meant to be a ninja. So someone was having a
Speaker 1: ninja party.
Speaker 2: Did you think to yourself, Fuck, I've got I've got
Speaker 2: to rescue the kids here.
Speaker 1: On my first instinct, he is there's some content in this,
Speaker 1: don't worry about the kids. Somebody thinking the children anyway
Speaker 1: comes over and then I didn't really realize. In one
Speaker 1: hand he had a boom box and he starts like
Speaker 1: full dancing, dancing, and I'm like what the fuck? And
Speaker 1: like I was, it was like, oh, we have to
Speaker 1: go home down like no, no, no, no, no, I
Speaker 1: want to watch. I want to watch what happens. Anyway,
Speaker 1: he's like playing these games, like full hostage games. It
Speaker 1: was wild. He was tying them to the trees, tying
Speaker 1: them to each other. And I filmed a bunch of it,
Speaker 1: but I'm not allowed to produce it because the kids
Speaker 1: are Yeah, of course, I don't just be a bunch
Speaker 1: of blurry things walking around with this guy covered in
Speaker 1: head to toe. It was honestly, like, like I said, like,
Speaker 1: if you were looking from a distance, you'd be like.
Speaker 2: And he's making good money. He's what are you like,
Speaker 2: You're paying at least like two hundred bucks right for
Speaker 2: an entertainer for a couple of hours.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it must be yeah, yeah, but like it
Speaker 1: was never seen anything like it, And Oscar saw this
Speaker 1: guy run past and was traumatized, petrified. Yeah, but then
Speaker 1: when we saw him tied to the tree, I thought,
Speaker 1: this guy's onto something.
Speaker 2: I'd love it if it was actually someone who's abducting kids.
Speaker 2: And he's just like, oh, it's an entertainer, and he's
Speaker 2: like strangling kids and tying them up.
Speaker 1: But like he was doing all the ninja moves. But
Speaker 1: it just out of nowhere, comes out of the bush.
Speaker 1: It's unbelievable anyway, So I just told Oscar that was
Speaker 1: his birthday, buddy. But yeah, look, I do lie to them.
Speaker 1: That's one of the lies.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think everyone lies.
Speaker 1: I think they're just like white harmless lies.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: The that was a bit more depriving and fun and
Speaker 1: probably meaningful.
Speaker 2: As long as like, once he gets to like the
Speaker 2: age of once he's at school, I think you need
Speaker 2: to start having a birthday. I mean, not to tell
Speaker 2: you how to parent ash, you know, but if he's like,
Speaker 2: you know, you want a grade one, I'll have a
Speaker 2: birthday party, right, yeah.
Speaker 1: But it'd be like a piss up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, great, a couple of little
Speaker 2: white lies. But I told a bigger lie to Marley
Speaker 2: the other day because she does this thing where I
Speaker 2: don't know if your kids ever did this, but to
Speaker 2: comfort herself, she'll suck her thumb, put a finger in
Speaker 2: her nose and then rubs her nose like this and
Speaker 2: put a finger in the nose and rubs like that.
Speaker 2: That's a hum Yeah. Yeah, I try to google to
Speaker 2: see why she does it.
Speaker 1: But did you get some weird things? That's so weird.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's her comfort thing and if she if she's
Speaker 2: going to sleep.
Speaker 1: It's funny because my comfort things is, but she loves.
Speaker 2: It, and no matter what we say, we're like, hey,
Speaker 2: I don't pick your nose because if we're out and
Speaker 2: about and she's getting tired and embarrasses, but she can't stop.
Speaker 2: And then we try to tell hey, it's you know,
Speaker 2: it's not good. You've got bad germs on your fingers
Speaker 2: and stop doing.
Speaker 1: That, which that's true.
Speaker 2: Wouldn't listen, would true? This is the good stuff. And
Speaker 2: then I thought, you know what, what's going to stop
Speaker 2: her from doing this is just telling her a little lie.
Speaker 2: So I said, if you keep picking your nose, you're
Speaker 2: going to make your nostrils bigger and your brain's going
Speaker 2: to fall out, so you better stop. Complex I was like,
Speaker 2: and you know when you say something and you kind
Speaker 2: of like you know, it was more a case of
Speaker 2: like I could I could see it in her eyes
Speaker 2: that she kind of like was piecing it together, and
Speaker 2: she was.
Speaker 1: Like, holy fuck, imagine if that happened.
Speaker 2: And she like rip, and she's like, Daddy, I don't
Speaker 2: want my brains to fall out. And I was like, well,
Speaker 2: you better stop. And then she starts crying and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: this is getting a bit.
Speaker 1: Oh she's like, oh shit, she got the visuals.
Speaker 2: And Laura is like, what's wrong, and I'm like.
Speaker 1: Don't tell her, don't tell her, don't tell her, don't
Speaker 1: tell her.
Speaker 2: My nose, my brain is going to fall out. And
Speaker 2: Laura's like, what have you done? And I'm like, but look,
Speaker 2: she's she's not doing it anymore.
Speaker 1: It's worked, and she's just completely traumatized.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, it's a little lie, right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think they're harmless like that. Honestly, that was
Speaker 1: really creative of you, and I like it, thank you,
Speaker 1: And I think Marley needs to take a good heart,
Speaker 1: look at herself and realize that she took that the
Speaker 1: wrong way, not on me, that it's on her, thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you very much, and her sister should be backing
Speaker 1: you up.
Speaker 2: But I did a little call out on my socials
Speaker 2: and asked the other good parents of this country what
Speaker 2: lies have you told your kids? And I got a
Speaker 2: lot of answers, a couple of beauties. I'm going to
Speaker 2: read a couple of you. Now.
Speaker 1: I think, like we all do it, okay, there's always
Speaker 1: that little lie you tell back to like what our
Speaker 1: parents would have told us, being like don't sit too
Speaker 1: close to the TV. Your eyes will go square. Lie
Speaker 1: and then they wonder why we grow up to be liars.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because you've created.
Speaker 1: You've created this person. You told me that lying is okay.
Speaker 1: So now I lie on my taxes. I don't. It's
Speaker 1: the at is listening again. Hashtag gifted. I don't lie
Speaker 1: on my taxes. That's because I haven't done them.
Speaker 2: I actually put the call out there on my social
Speaker 2: media and I asked other parents, what lies have you
Speaker 2: told your children? I've picked my top three.
Speaker 1: Okay, lam on me.
Speaker 2: So line number one tooth fairy doesn't work on the
Speaker 2: weekends because the mom didn't have any any cash in
Speaker 2: the hound.
Speaker 1: Who has cash? What are they doing? Unless the kids
Speaker 1: got payWave And so.
Speaker 2: The daughter was like, hey, I'm like, I put my
Speaker 2: tooth under the pillow because obviously she must have lost
Speaker 2: it before.
Speaker 1: She's like, sorry, sweet, I'll put it through the pokes
Speaker 1: last night. No, that's not a bad one. I think
Speaker 1: a really innocent one. Was like, yeah, but they don't
Speaker 1: to buy yourself time. I like it. I do like it.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't use it because I'm just going to tell
Speaker 1: my kids that I'm just not going to let them
Speaker 1: know that they get money. I'm just all about saving
Speaker 1: money savvy, I'm not. I'm not judging cheapskatele.
Speaker 2: Line number two. Every swear word you use kills an.
Speaker 1: ELF that the kid uses. Yeah, which is bad because
Speaker 1: there'd be so many dead elves in my house. You've
Speaker 1: listened to previous episodes. I think we've worked out that
Speaker 1: I have got no filter around my children.
Speaker 2: Elf.
Speaker 1: If no kids get toys this year, it's because of
Speaker 1: my kids actually repeating me. And Macy hasn't even started
Speaker 1: talking yet, so imagine what that's going to be.
Speaker 2: Like Jesus, it's an aggressive lie. I think using death
Speaker 2: is part of the liar is aggressive, but look, if
Speaker 2: it works fine.
Speaker 1: Death is part of life. They need to figure it
Speaker 1: out sooner or later. I like it.
Speaker 2: Christmas is a great catalyst for getting your kids to
Speaker 2: behave and off the back of that, if you have
Speaker 2: to say a few white lies Christmas and birthdays.
Speaker 1: So like at the moment, his birthday coming up, but
Speaker 1: he's obsessed with we wouldn't know. He doesn't know when
Speaker 1: he was born, so he's just obsessed with band aids.
Speaker 1: So this morning I was like, do you know if
Speaker 1: you use too many band aids. I'm not going to
Speaker 1: be able to afford to buy your toys for your birthday.
Speaker 1: You'll have to just have band aids for your birthday.
Speaker 1: Or we did that to get him out of nappies. Well,
Speaker 1: we can't afford to buy your toys anymore because we've
Speaker 1: got to buy your nappies. So for your.
Speaker 2: Birthday, living is rising.
Speaker 1: Ye, you're not brightthday, you'll get nappies. And he was
Speaker 1: out of them nappy quick smart. I'm full of advice,
Speaker 1: not just a pretty face.
Speaker 2: This is my third line that I got submitted. Hey,
Speaker 2: we may do, we may do moving forward. I've got
Speaker 2: a lot of submissions. We might do little segment top three,
Speaker 2: little recurring segment. But this is the third final.
Speaker 1: Ye.
Speaker 2: This dad told his sons that if they don't get dressed,
Speaker 2: willy chickens will eat their private parts. It's like a
Speaker 2: bin chicken, but instead of the garbage, they only like cock.
Speaker 1: With the gay chickens. Look, that is probably effective.
Speaker 2: It's quite traumatic.
Speaker 1: I think it's kind of that's a bit silly. Like
Speaker 1: I think it depends how old your kids are. I
Speaker 1: think if I said that to Oscar, he'd be like, what.
Speaker 2: Which one's the willy chicken. Then you're like, oh, it's
Speaker 2: that one over there, the cockatoo. Oh yeah, it.
Speaker 1: Makes a lot of sense, makes total sense. That's very creative.
Speaker 1: Like I said, there are a lot of creative lies
Speaker 1: out there. That's a strange one. Really, we went really
Speaker 1: dark there with the death and the chewing off all.
Speaker 2: That's like nine percent of the lies that parents gave me,
Speaker 2: either about death or like dicks.
Speaker 1: All right, Matthew, So listening questions. We've got a long
Speaker 1: list of listener questions, but we only have so much time.
Speaker 2: If only we had you know, imagine we had five
Speaker 2: episodes a week.
Speaker 1: Of people would hate us. Me The other day when
Speaker 1: I spoke to them, they're like, I just listened to
Speaker 1: all the episodes. I'm like, we're probably sick in my
Speaker 1: fucking voice. Yeah, like a little bit, don't blame you.
Speaker 1: So look, five is a bit excessive, but we do
Speaker 1: have a lot of listening.
Speaker 2: Questions and we get so yeah, we're going to get two.
Speaker 1: We only get two per episode, which I think at
Speaker 1: the moments and half because there can be some heated
Speaker 1: discussions about it. Hence the circumcision chat last week.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, kicked off on TikTok.
Speaker 1: Of course it did, isn't it funny? People are just
Speaker 1: like so loyal.
Speaker 2: To their own, to their own.
Speaker 1: In their own or their preference.
Speaker 2: I made a joke on I think it was Instagram.
Speaker 2: Actually I said, let's be honest, those who are circumcised
Speaker 2: are superior, and people were like.
Speaker 1: Owen classes, Matthew, we're all equal equality, penal equality, well
Speaker 1: said what I'm all about? Thank you the teacher.
Speaker 2: What do we got this week?
Speaker 1: This week? First question is dummy or not too dummy?
Speaker 1: Now there's no real extension on that, so let's just
Speaker 1: go that. It's as a whole pun works. Yea far away,
Speaker 1: I'll take it far away. What are you?
Speaker 2: I am all about the dummy?
Speaker 1: Elaborate?
Speaker 2: So the dummy for us? Still, don't you fucking judge me?
Speaker 2: Don't you sit there on your high horse and say still, yeah, look,
Speaker 2: okay it is. We tried to.
Speaker 1: Get rid of the dummy for who are we talking
Speaker 1: about here? Okay, give us some more information.
Speaker 2: So the dummy was for Marley only up until a
Speaker 2: year ago. I think like Marley was using the dummy
Speaker 2: for like every nap time, like to put him put
Speaker 2: them to sleep, but then two things.
Speaker 1: Can you put your nipple in my mouth?
Speaker 2: I tried. Look, Lord knows that I tried. Certain moments,
Speaker 2: we've got the dummy off Marley, but for Lola, every
Speaker 2: nap time she still has that. Midday nap still has
Speaker 2: the dummy. Then she has the dummy when she goes
Speaker 2: to bed at nighttime, even if we're in a long
Speaker 2: car ride. Lola needs a dummy and has gotten to
Speaker 2: the point where the lady at daycare because a few
Speaker 2: times I've forgotten to put the dummy in the bag,
Speaker 2: and when I picked her up, he goes, oh, she
Speaker 2: had a really tough day because she didn't have the
Speaker 2: dummy and she couldn't go to sleep. I probably should
Speaker 2: stop that dummy. And she's getting pretty old now, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, do you judge me?
Speaker 1: She should have pulled it out of Lola's mouth and
Speaker 1: shut suck on that. Oh Jesus, wow.
Speaker 2: Okay, we all know how you feel about early education teachers.
Speaker 1: I love them to this. They listened to this, but
Speaker 1: just like comments not needed.
Speaker 2: We already know. I know I need to get her
Speaker 2: off the dummy. I will do it, just not right now,
Speaker 2: because every time we're like you know it takes four
Speaker 2: nights or five nights. Once you get pike, first night,
Speaker 2: second night awful. After that, you make it a progress.
Speaker 2: But fucking's so busy that we just can't deal with
Speaker 2: like a screaming baby until ten o'clock at nights.
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, sometimes you just need to sleep, Like I
Speaker 1: get you do what works, right. It's like things that
Speaker 1: like my kids sleep with right comforters, right, so comforting.
Speaker 1: You look at me and they're like that Oscar still
Speaker 1: sleeps with like April's old breastpads. Yeah, like the washable one.
Speaker 1: They've been washed a million times. They're not still used.
Speaker 1: She's not leacing that I know, not interlactating, but yeah,
Speaker 1: like I don't know, and like it's just a comfort thing, right,
Speaker 1: He's just always had them. But yeah, the dummy is
Speaker 1: annoying because it falls out right. Ah yeah, look for
Speaker 1: a certain amount of time, dummy is king. Like it's
Speaker 1: great people that say like, oh no, I'm never gonna
Speaker 1: let my kid have a dummy someone in their mouth,
Speaker 1: and see how much better your fucking life is, right, But.
Speaker 2: I do, I hear. I can feel the other parents
Speaker 2: out there judging me. It's on our to do list,
Speaker 2: will get lol up off.
Speaker 1: The life gets in the way. It's not a big deal.
Speaker 1: It's not that they're going to be like at school's
Speaker 1: with a dummy in the mouth, maybe a different type
Speaker 1: of dummy. My kids had dummies, both sleeping and sleeping whatever,
Speaker 1: but I think at some point they just didn't want
Speaker 1: them anymore, and like, we're really lucky. Some kids get
Speaker 1: really attached to them, so it's like, yeah, you've got
Speaker 1: to do these things. Thankfully we didn't have to do that.
Speaker 1: But I'm not opposed to dummy. If I see Look,
Speaker 1: if I see a seven year old with a dummy,
Speaker 1: I'm kind of like, that's a bit old. But at
Speaker 1: the same time, they could be busy people and I'm
Speaker 1: not going to judge them. I just did, but I won't.
Speaker 2: Ask the good question. And we will make this quick
Speaker 2: because we're running out of time. Spoken to much. Favorite
Speaker 2: show for your kids to watch.
Speaker 1: Mine's more of a movie. Those who are listening may
Speaker 1: be familiar, and Matt, I don't know if you are.
Speaker 2: What's the name of it again, Sea Beast, Sea Beast.
Speaker 1: So it's on Netflix cartoon it's animation. Yeah, it's animation,
Speaker 1: So it's kind of like a piority sort of theme,
Speaker 1: but like, look, you have to go and watch it
Speaker 1: because my kids love it. It's one of those shows
Speaker 1: that you put on and they'll just go. You could
Speaker 1: pretty much drive a bus pass them and they haven't noticed.
Speaker 1: It's great.
Speaker 2: I've never heard of it.
Speaker 1: It's really good. And like every time a friend comes over,
Speaker 1: he's one. So the other day I was at a
Speaker 1: mate's house and his parents. My mate's parents live next door,
Speaker 1: and they're what fifty whatever. We're watching Seabe's and I
Speaker 1: haven't seen his parents because of COVID for like three
Speaker 1: or four years.
Speaker 2: Hang on a second, You're like, I'll answer this really quickly,
Speaker 2: and then like I just wanted to I just wanted
Speaker 2: to explain, please please, the action of the.
Speaker 1: So his dad comes over, his dad comes oup. I
Speaker 1: guess gonna get really weird that his dad comes over
Speaker 1: and he was like, hey, hey, you haven't seen you whatever.
Speaker 1: Finally gets to meet my kids, haven't seen him so long,
Speaker 1: and he's just distracted by the CBOs. What's it? I
Speaker 1: was like, it's Seapce. He's like, what's that about? And
Speaker 1: it just sits down. This is like a fifty year
Speaker 1: old man this year or something. He's like, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: and then after like ten or fifteen minutes, he's like,
Speaker 1: all right, I'll see I'll like, I'll see you guys. Later.
Speaker 1: He went out and watched it in the comfort of
Speaker 1: his own home, and I saw it. He came over
Speaker 1: later for a beer and he was like Sea Beast.
Speaker 1: He was like, I just went home to watch Sea Beast.
Speaker 1: Wanted to watch it with my surround sound and the
Speaker 1: whole bit. And I was like, oh, but it's not
Speaker 1: the first time it's happened. Anyone that goes, what's this
Speaker 1: kid watching Sea beats my friend?
Speaker 2: Okay, I gotta jump on it because I'm in the
Speaker 2: bloody slippy train.
Speaker 1: Or you know, blippy shit on someone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, in the army.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I wasn't in the army, was it or
Speaker 1: was it?
Speaker 2: I thought it was in the When I was in
Speaker 2: the army, I was on his face, not his army
Speaker 2: or Gabby's dollhouse.
Speaker 1: Fucking has that weird guy talking. He's like, well, were you.
Speaker 2: Mike got into these They build these like miniature like
Speaker 2: imagine like a McDonald's, but they make it out of
Speaker 2: like cardboard, like it's a little.
Speaker 1: Like so much weird stuff out there, but they're making
Speaker 1: millions about you to so.
Speaker 2: I need to. I need to. I need to get
Speaker 2: her off that. Otherwise, give Sea Beast to go, I will.
Speaker 1: It might not be fair. Macy loves it.
Speaker 2: Otherwise it's Bluey.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Blue is a good one. Shut up Pepper Pig.
Speaker 1: My brother in law hates Pepper Pick gets a lot
Speaker 1: of honey. Pepper picks a bitch, And I'm like, people
Speaker 1: don't like her.
Speaker 2: That's a pig they find they find it really rude. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you find it really like obnoxious, rude to the parents
Speaker 2: and apparently teach bad habits to young kids. A lot
Speaker 2: of hate on on Pepper Pig. Yeah, I don't see
Speaker 2: it myself.
Speaker 1: I'm fine.
Speaker 2: I think I think people have been a little bit harsh,
Speaker 2: but good watch out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you guys just look out for it, any
Speaker 1: bitchiness from that tiny little cartoon pig. Yeah, you stay
Speaker 1: safe out there and that. No, that is all the
Speaker 1: time we have today. So again, thank you to all
Speaker 1: the doting parents and non parents and even.
Speaker 2: The non parents.
Speaker 1: I mean, we can't heaps of people saying to me,
Speaker 1: I don't even have fucking kids. I'm like, Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter, thank you, I guess. But like also,
Speaker 1: like what that say about.
Speaker 2: I mean it does about us. It does sound very arrogant, But.
Speaker 1: I then we appeal to the masses.
Speaker 2: Well said, We are getting a lot of people right
Speaker 2: now because we always put the call out and say
Speaker 2: every now and then, maybe like once a month. I think,
Speaker 2: is that kind of the bonus EPs will do with
Speaker 2: the guest everybody? Everyone, like the most number one suggested
Speaker 2: Dad to get on the.
Speaker 1: Podcast, Donald Trump, No, No, Blake might be a little bit. Yeah, look,
Speaker 1: Hamish Blake come up a lot. So we're working on
Speaker 1: fel free to DM here.
Speaker 2: We are working on it. We have a contact that
Speaker 2: we have harassed.
Speaker 1: He's got a couple of cleaners that we have harassed.
Speaker 1: Matt and I now own a cleaning company.
Speaker 2: And we're doing our best to Infiltrateor's house.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're getting there.
Speaker 2: But we do have a bonus out. Maybe not next week,
Speaker 2: the week after. He's a footy player.
Speaker 1: I've got a couple of good ones coming up.
Speaker 2: We'll tease, we won't say it is a mystery.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's Jared Hayne, straight from prisons.
Speaker 2: Our's Long Bay. But if you have enjoyed this episode
Speaker 2: or any episode, we would absolutely love it more than
Speaker 2: anything else, more than I love my children. If you
Speaker 2: would give us a review, don't don't give us a
Speaker 2: private DM saying we like the podcast, because that's all
Speaker 2: of the channels we've got to make a public Also
Speaker 2: give us a follow both on two Dotting Dads on
Speaker 2: Instagram and also on Apple podcast. You got to follow
Speaker 2: it so that episode gets right injected into your inbox
Speaker 2: every week on a Wednesday morning. And ash on that
Speaker 2: note is some new beginnings.
Speaker 1: New beginnings. Thank you guys for listening. Appreciate it.
Speaker 2: Cheers. Two Doting Dads. Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of
Speaker 2: country throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
Speaker 1: peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land