WEBVTT - Public sharts and parenting lies !

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<v Speaker 1>So there's something that really annoys me. It's really gotten

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<v Speaker 1>under my skin. So the moment Macie regressing.

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<v Speaker 2>What's regressing.

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<v Speaker 1>Then they wake up early for no fucking reason. She

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<v Speaker 1>usually seems like six o'clock, but she's been waking up

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<v Speaker 1>like four thirty. It's fucking drag.

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<v Speaker 2>Will you go to bed at like four thirty in

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<v Speaker 2>the afternoon? So that's fucking fine.

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<v Speaker 1>Tunny Apriel laughs so hard at that bit of the podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, fuck, that's so add Yeah, so she's

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<v Speaker 1>waking up really early and it's really pissed. But the

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<v Speaker 1>thing that, you know what, that's fine, That's not the

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<v Speaker 1>thing that annoys me. The thing that annoys me the

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<v Speaker 1>most is when she wakes up that early and then

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<v Speaker 1>at eight thirty in the morning she starts fucking yawning.

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<v Speaker 1>The audacity on this child to do that. It's kind

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<v Speaker 1>of like a slap in the face mid morning because

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<v Speaker 1>she wakes the whole house up, so everyone's tired. But

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<v Speaker 1>then she's just like, no shit, I don't.

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<v Speaker 2>Know about you guys, but I'm hooped.

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<v Speaker 3>It's been a big day.

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<v Speaker 2>Welcome back to two going dads.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Matty Jay and I'm Ash.

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<v Speaker 2>This is a conversation that is all about parenting, the good.

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<v Speaker 1>The bad, and the nightmarish and the relatable of course,

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<v Speaker 1>and if.

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<v Speaker 2>There's anyone who may be listening for the very first time,

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<v Speaker 2>we do have to give you just a quick little message,

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<v Speaker 2>a warning to say, this is not in any way

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<v Speaker 2>a podcast where advice should be taken on board.

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<v Speaker 1>Not like literally take it, take it, do what you

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<v Speaker 1>will with it. But it's not real. We take no

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<v Speaker 1>response responsibility for what we have a solicitor.

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<v Speaker 2>Just before you start listening, please sign this waive up.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah yeah, because at the bottom of the notes of

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<v Speaker 1>the episode, yeah, ash, yes, it is the afternoon. It

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<v Speaker 1>is the perfect time for an arvo. Ale. We're doing it.

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<v Speaker 1>Here we go. Oh yeah, here's my friend. Thank you.

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<v Speaker 1>It's been a big week, man, it's as some would say,

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<v Speaker 1>it's a groundbreaking week because as of right now, I

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<v Speaker 1>am what you call unemployed.

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<v Speaker 2>I wasn't sure if we're going to are we them? No,

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<v Speaker 2>we won't.

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<v Speaker 1>Look that's all I'll say on.

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<v Speaker 2>How quickly are you like? I'll say anything?

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<v Speaker 1>And yeah, they're like you need to sign this NDA,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, you know, what's okay? And then just first thing,

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<v Speaker 1>that comes out of my mouth is just I'm like, no,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm allowed to say I'm unemployed, which I am now

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<v Speaker 1>as of today, which is great. So the Arvo Arvo

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<v Speaker 1>ales in the Arvo from Better Beer and it's my

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<v Speaker 1>favorite one of the range. The day just keeps getting better.

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<v Speaker 2>If ever there was an occasion to crack a tinney

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<v Speaker 2>and your favorite, nonetheless, it would be right now. Actually,

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<v Speaker 2>is this day one of being unemployed?

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<v Speaker 1>I've been anchoring all morning for a beer like now,

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<v Speaker 1>I got a bas two hours it took me to

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<v Speaker 1>get here worth it? Yeah, no driving home?

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<v Speaker 2>Now deserve this? Yeah. And for the first time Ash

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<v Speaker 2>has come to my place, not driving his car, but

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<v Speaker 2>he's jumped on the public transport, which is no easy feed.

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<v Speaker 2>It does take a while. How long did it take

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<v Speaker 2>your door to delicate it?

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<v Speaker 1>Two hours? I'm dedicated to the cause today, the Better

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<v Speaker 1>Beer cause.

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<v Speaker 2>And we're on the rotation of going through each different product.

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<v Speaker 2>We've come back to what we started on the Arba

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<v Speaker 2>Whale and it's just fucking delicious.

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<v Speaker 1>It is good. It's definitely my favorite. I did like

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<v Speaker 1>the ginger beer, surprisingly enough, but this I think that's

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<v Speaker 1>the best one I've got so far from me. But

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<v Speaker 1>I'm an ale guy. Like people don't like Ale, so

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<v Speaker 1>I get it. But just to hinter of ail in

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<v Speaker 1>this Ale.

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<v Speaker 2>I really don't want to put any more pressure on

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<v Speaker 2>better beer. But like the whole livelihood of Ash and

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<v Speaker 2>his family.

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<v Speaker 1>Is now resting on your shoulders.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so like And also to the listener, if anyone's going,

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<v Speaker 2>do you know what I've had? What is it like?

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<v Speaker 2>Eight or nine apps? And I think I've had enough

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<v Speaker 2>of two doting dads. If you leave us right.

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<v Speaker 1>Now, I will strip my clothes off to keep you.

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<v Speaker 1>That's what's needed. I will do.

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<v Speaker 2>It because well, actually no, hang on a second, you're

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<v Speaker 2>not unemployed, because let's be fucking honest, mate, you're an influencer.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not.

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<v Speaker 2>You just come up, don't even try. Don't even try.

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<v Speaker 1>And what you call a content creator slash podcaster are now.

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<v Speaker 1>But I don't bear the flag of influence your king

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<v Speaker 1>dad influencer. I'm just king Dad, content creator.

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<v Speaker 2>At you're one of us. Welcome of us, wet you've

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<v Speaker 2>done your first trip you went to I did.

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<v Speaker 1>Actually, First of all, what we were getting out is

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<v Speaker 1>thank you better be here for for allowing us to

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<v Speaker 1>create this episode. But yeah, I did just get back

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<v Speaker 1>from Tokyo with Lulu Lemon amazing experience.

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<v Speaker 2>You sound like such an influencer. I'm so blessed.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm so hashtags hashtag gifted.

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<v Speaker 2>No, look, it was a sick trip.

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<v Speaker 1>It was a really good trip. It was a couple

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<v Speaker 1>of days in Tokyo. They took us over there to

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<v Speaker 1>have an immersive running experience, which was amazing. A big

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<v Speaker 1>shout out to those guys. They put on an amazing

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<v Speaker 1>four days long way to go.

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<v Speaker 2>Also, like I mean, just it must have been really

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<v Speaker 2>tough for yourself going all that way, being away from

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<v Speaker 2>the family.

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<v Speaker 1>Honestly, that the hardest part. That was the hardest part.

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<v Speaker 1>Pretending to miss them. It was really hard. No, yeah, look,

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<v Speaker 1>it wasn't a family trip. I wouldn't take the family

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<v Speaker 1>there mainly because I don't want to be stuck on

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<v Speaker 1>a plane with them for ten hours. But you look,

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<v Speaker 1>it's a crazy city in oscar I would have lost him.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's be honest.

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<v Speaker 2>You lose Macy in the apartment.

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<v Speaker 1>I've lost Macie and Just in the apartment.

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<v Speaker 2>Let alone, like crossing, am I saying it right?

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<v Speaker 1>She's the Shaboya Scramble act, I apologize forgive me, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>the local.

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<v Speaker 2>Now what was your favorite part?

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<v Speaker 1>Probably I got to skate across the ship boy scramble,

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<v Speaker 1>which I was severely hungover doing so and just finished

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<v Speaker 1>a massive Japanese meal, so it was just planned or no,

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<v Speaker 1>I just sole skater off one of the locals. Is

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<v Speaker 1>really I mean they're such lovely people, did you honestly? Yeah? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I was just like can I borrow that? It was

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<v Speaker 1>like yeah, sweet, straight across and we had like a

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<v Speaker 1>photographer and like video created there. So shout out to

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<v Speaker 1>Sam as well, but like that was that wasn't that

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<v Speaker 1>was just off the calf, off the calf. Yeah, and

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<v Speaker 1>it made the final cut for their video.

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<v Speaker 2>I can't of got over to the fact that this

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<v Speaker 2>guy's just let someone looking like yourself like stinking and.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah that was good. Also, the running experience was really good,

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<v Speaker 1>Like it was really start stop because we went through

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<v Speaker 1>Old Tokyo, so I saw more than I would have

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<v Speaker 1>seen in a week there going on my own to adventure.

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<v Speaker 1>Like it was like we did. It worked out to

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<v Speaker 1>be like nine k's through Old Tokyo. We got a

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<v Speaker 1>train during the run and some of the other through

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<v Speaker 1>did New Tokyo, which was looked amazing as well. So yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>it was crazy for a first you know, influence a trip.

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<v Speaker 2>How was it coming back to the hotel, because you

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<v Speaker 2>know when you're away and you're like, I do actually,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm sure there are moments you did miss the kids

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<v Speaker 2>and you're like, I'll do a FaceTime and that they

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<v Speaker 2>don't really give a shit.

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<v Speaker 1>Sometimes yeah, FaceTime. I FaceTime And then they were at

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<v Speaker 1>kmart in the toy section, so I was ter. I

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<v Speaker 1>was not in whatever. I was like, oh, I know

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<v Speaker 1>you like whatever, I'm looking for a month to truck

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<v Speaker 1>now beat it. That's pretty much the attitude I got.

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<v Speaker 1>The first morning, I woke up reasonably early, like similar

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<v Speaker 1>time difference, it's like an hour difference. I woke up

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<v Speaker 1>reasonably early to call apel, so it didn't seem like

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<v Speaker 1>I was sleeping in because I didn't want to rub

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<v Speaker 1>it anymore, and I'm like, oh, I'm just working over

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<v Speaker 1>At ten o'clock it was like seven o'clock. I'm like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>I've just woken up, Like I got like a little

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<v Speaker 1>half hour sleep in. It was believable. But back to sleep,

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<v Speaker 1>how did.

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<v Speaker 2>You go back? Because if you've got activities at nighttime

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<v Speaker 2>beyond your normal bedtime, which is quite seven. How did

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<v Speaker 2>you go?

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<v Speaker 1>Sweet? Fight up? The body clock was just body clock

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<v Speaker 1>was just non existent. It was so good. I really

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like I did as much as I could

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<v Speaker 1>in that time, and drank as much as I could

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<v Speaker 1>in that time, and age as much as I did

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<v Speaker 1>in that time, and I was not prepared to run

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<v Speaker 1>nine k's.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you think that you'll now do teeth Whiting promotions

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<v Speaker 2>today or will that come down?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just waiting for Visilan to jump on the band way.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh look I drink wear far too much coffee for

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<v Speaker 1>that walking around with four or five strips on my face.

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<v Speaker 1>But yeah, full hashtag gift. I guess that's what you've

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<v Speaker 1>got to do now. So if the ATO are listening,

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<v Speaker 1>gifted hashtag gifted, gifted.

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<v Speaker 2>Still got that skateboard?

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<v Speaker 1>No, I gave it back. It's a nice scale roll,

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<v Speaker 1>really nice.

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<v Speaker 2>Hey. While some of us have been enjoying gallivant around

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<v Speaker 2>the world, the rest of us have been fucking in

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<v Speaker 2>the trenches.

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<v Speaker 1>In the absolute. You know, it's nice to get away

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<v Speaker 1>bit of recent. I did, I honestly I did, like

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<v Speaker 1>I get home and I see them after four days

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<v Speaker 1>and I was like, I missed them.

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<v Speaker 2>It doesn't last long, though, does it?

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<v Speaker 1>About thirty I'll get to that point thirty minutes and

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<v Speaker 1>you're like, oh I missed Tokyo emailing going. Am I

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<v Speaker 1>invited next year? I hope so.

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<v Speaker 2>But I've you know, I've been putting in the hours

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<v Speaker 2>as I normally do.

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<v Speaker 1>You're a part work.

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<v Speaker 2>I would like a little break, to have a reset.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not going to happen for a little while. We

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<v Speaker 2>do have a trip coming up, but I've come off

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<v Speaker 2>the back end. Dancing with the Stars is now finished.

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<v Speaker 2>They've finished filming. It'll be on air in like a

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<v Speaker 2>couple of weeks.

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<v Speaker 1>Is it a couple? I thought? Why did I think

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<v Speaker 1>it was already on?

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<v Speaker 2>I think it starts on like the eighteenth of June,

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<v Speaker 2>so pretty soon.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, I'm going to pencil it in.

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<v Speaker 2>So I bet you can't fucking wait to watch Laura dance.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not going to watch it.

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<v Speaker 2>The most amazing Fox trots you've ever seen.

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<v Speaker 1>As actually we'll see.

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<v Speaker 2>And that you're not going to watch it kind hard

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<v Speaker 2>to fucking get count.

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<v Speaker 1>Now they've got a calendar on the Friegelant.

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<v Speaker 2>But I've done every morning with the girls, doing the

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<v Speaker 2>daycare runs the last couple of weeks, and it's got

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<v Speaker 2>to the point where my patience is pretty thin. And

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<v Speaker 2>there was one little thing that really just set me off.

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<v Speaker 2>And it was nothing like in the scheme of things.

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<v Speaker 2>It was. If it was in a normal routine where

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<v Speaker 2>me and Laura are sharing the responsibility, it would have

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<v Speaker 2>been fine. But it sounds so fetaty. It really does.

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<v Speaker 1>Had to complain about having kids and then having two parents.

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<v Speaker 2>The kids that you have, well, someone did mess with

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<v Speaker 2>on social media and they're like, like, why'd you have them?

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<v Speaker 2>If you're going to complain about.

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<v Speaker 1>It, I'm pretty sure having kids like part of complaining

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<v Speaker 1>is part of being a parent. If you don't complain,

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<v Speaker 1>what's the point. What are you going to talk What

0:10:52.920 --> 0:10:54.280
<v Speaker 1>are you going to talk about with your friends?

0:10:55.200 --> 0:10:55.679
<v Speaker 2>Like? Nothing?

0:10:55.720 --> 0:10:56.319
<v Speaker 1>The good things?

0:10:56.400 --> 0:11:00.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah it is, But I was making breakfast, running really

0:11:00.559 --> 0:11:02.680
<v Speaker 2>really late as well. I had to go to work.

0:11:02.559 --> 0:11:05.600
<v Speaker 1>And you didn't have a job. But yep, I.

0:11:05.200 --> 0:11:07.600
<v Speaker 2>Okay, don't get me started. But I thought, you know,

0:11:07.920 --> 0:11:11.560
<v Speaker 2>Marley always has toast in the morning, like every single morning.

0:11:11.640 --> 0:11:15.200
<v Speaker 2>I always, I always just butter, just butter. She just

0:11:15.240 --> 0:11:17.920
<v Speaker 2>wants the butter, and I always ask her what do

0:11:18.000 --> 0:11:19.920
<v Speaker 2>you want? She goes, I want toast. I just want butter,

0:11:19.960 --> 0:11:21.840
<v Speaker 2>and I got cool this morning. I was like, I'm

0:11:21.880 --> 0:11:23.600
<v Speaker 2>not even gonna ask her. I was going to put

0:11:23.600 --> 0:11:26.040
<v Speaker 2>the toast down and I start putting butter on it.

0:11:26.160 --> 0:11:27.880
<v Speaker 2>She comes out and she looks at me and she's like,

0:11:28.960 --> 0:11:33.000
<v Speaker 2>fuck are you doing I'm making it? Are you doing

0:11:34.400 --> 0:11:37.560
<v Speaker 2>as if I'm like smearing ship on the bread and

0:11:37.760 --> 0:11:40.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm making you butter on toast. And she's like, I

0:11:40.400 --> 0:11:43.520
<v Speaker 2>don't want that. I just want peanut butter. And I said,

0:11:43.520 --> 0:11:44.880
<v Speaker 2>why can put peanut butter on top of.

0:11:44.880 --> 0:11:47.400
<v Speaker 1>The butter, and how it should be done anyway.

0:11:47.160 --> 0:11:49.840
<v Speaker 2>Which is delicious, which is great, and she's like start

0:11:49.840 --> 0:11:52.400
<v Speaker 2>an argument. She goes, no, I don't want any butter.

0:11:52.679 --> 0:11:55.200
<v Speaker 2>I just want the peanut butter. And I'm trying to

0:11:55.200 --> 0:11:58.640
<v Speaker 2>explain to her, like, hey, I hear you want the

0:11:58.640 --> 0:12:00.959
<v Speaker 2>peanut butter. You're not even go to taste the butter.

0:12:01.160 --> 0:12:02.760
<v Speaker 2>She's just gonna make it a little bit more delicious.

0:12:02.760 --> 0:12:04.360
<v Speaker 1>It's going to make it like peanut buttery.

0:12:04.960 --> 0:12:07.320
<v Speaker 2>She's like, I don't want it, and I'm like, you're

0:12:07.360 --> 0:12:11.040
<v Speaker 2>going to eat it, and I'm like, I don't want

0:12:11.040 --> 0:12:13.880
<v Speaker 2>to wait. Literally, I'm like, you're going to have this,

0:12:14.080 --> 0:12:17.640
<v Speaker 2>and then I raise my voice. She starts crying, Oh

0:12:17.760 --> 0:12:19.880
<v Speaker 2>my fuck. You know, so then end up putting more

0:12:19.880 --> 0:12:21.480
<v Speaker 2>toast down. We get out the door, and it's not

0:12:21.600 --> 0:12:24.199
<v Speaker 2>until you get back from daycare and the house is

0:12:24.280 --> 0:12:26.680
<v Speaker 2>quiet that you then feel a little bit guilty and

0:12:26.679 --> 0:12:29.960
<v Speaker 2>you're like, oh, probably shouldn't have gotten angry in that situation.

0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:30.640
<v Speaker 1>But I'm just going to have a wan.

0:12:38.120 --> 0:12:47.160
<v Speaker 2>Shit. Dad of the Year Ashton Wicks made what I

0:12:47.200 --> 0:12:49.280
<v Speaker 2>was talking about. Oh yes, I got home, jumped on

0:12:49.320 --> 0:12:52.320
<v Speaker 2>social media and a friend had sent me this video

0:12:52.880 --> 0:12:54.640
<v Speaker 2>and he was another dad and he was like, oh,

0:12:54.679 --> 0:12:57.200
<v Speaker 2>I think this video is. It's like quite a beautiful

0:12:57.200 --> 0:13:00.199
<v Speaker 2>thing and I find it really helps me. I watched it.

0:13:00.559 --> 0:13:02.000
<v Speaker 2>This is a video action. I'm going to give you

0:13:02.000 --> 0:13:03.040
<v Speaker 2>a little listen right now.

0:13:03.160 --> 0:13:06.600
<v Speaker 4>Okay, any time you getting frustrated with them, just close

0:13:06.600 --> 0:13:09.440
<v Speaker 4>your eyes and imagine you are eighty years old and

0:13:09.480 --> 0:13:11.679
<v Speaker 4>you have a time machine that is bringing you right

0:13:11.760 --> 0:13:14.079
<v Speaker 4>back to this moment, and this is the only moment

0:13:14.080 --> 0:13:16.360
<v Speaker 4>you will get with them again when they're young.

0:13:16.640 --> 0:13:17.160
<v Speaker 1>It's awesome.

0:13:17.200 --> 0:13:18.959
<v Speaker 4>I mean, it's incredible advice.

0:13:19.040 --> 0:13:21.920
<v Speaker 2>That's very good advice, very good advice.

0:13:21.800 --> 0:13:23.679
<v Speaker 4>And it totally changes everything, and you're like, oh yeah,

0:13:23.720 --> 0:13:24.199
<v Speaker 4>I'll take this.

0:13:24.160 --> 0:13:27.200
<v Speaker 1>All day long. First of all, if my kid's having

0:13:27.200 --> 0:13:30.280
<v Speaker 1>a meltdown, the only reason I'm closing my eyes is

0:13:30.320 --> 0:13:33.760
<v Speaker 1>to escape the reality of the situation. I'm not thinking

0:13:33.760 --> 0:13:36.079
<v Speaker 1>about me being eighty. First of all, I don't want

0:13:36.080 --> 0:13:39.000
<v Speaker 1>to live to eighty offense of the eighty year olds

0:13:39.000 --> 0:13:41.559
<v Speaker 1>living out there. That is old. I don't want to

0:13:41.600 --> 0:13:44.440
<v Speaker 1>get there. For starters, But that's garbage.

0:13:44.920 --> 0:13:46.880
<v Speaker 2>I think it's such a shit video.

0:13:47.160 --> 0:13:50.760
<v Speaker 1>Who has the patience to be like, hang on a minute, Okay, well,

0:13:50.760 --> 0:13:54.280
<v Speaker 1>you're having a meltdown and just doing something completely unreasonable

0:13:54.280 --> 0:13:56.920
<v Speaker 1>because you don't have any control of your emotions yet

0:13:56.960 --> 0:13:59.760
<v Speaker 1>because you're so young. Let me just close my eyes

0:13:59.800 --> 0:14:04.120
<v Speaker 1>for second. Should just fucking run off? Maybe just visualize

0:14:04.160 --> 0:14:06.240
<v Speaker 1>what it would be like to be eighty. So that's

0:14:06.280 --> 0:14:09.319
<v Speaker 1>the first step. Then the second step, I'm going to

0:14:09.400 --> 0:14:11.320
<v Speaker 1>visualize that this is the last day that I'm ever

0:14:11.360 --> 0:14:16.600
<v Speaker 1>going to see you. That sounds amazing. And third of all,

0:14:16.720 --> 0:14:20.040
<v Speaker 1>it's like I'm meant to get completely changed. My feelings

0:14:20.080 --> 0:14:23.080
<v Speaker 1>about the situation because of that just doesn't make any

0:14:23.120 --> 0:14:26.040
<v Speaker 1>fucking sense to me. Look, if you're that holistic person,

0:14:26.160 --> 0:14:26.560
<v Speaker 1>good for you.

0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:26.960
<v Speaker 2>Great.

0:14:27.000 --> 0:14:28.640
<v Speaker 1>Maybe I would do it at home. If it was

0:14:28.720 --> 0:14:31.480
<v Speaker 1>like something happened and we got home and then I

0:14:31.520 --> 0:14:33.720
<v Speaker 1>had some quiet time and you can reflect on it,

0:14:34.040 --> 0:14:36.800
<v Speaker 1>then I understand it. But in the moment, in the moment,

0:14:37.040 --> 0:14:39.600
<v Speaker 1>I fucking has time for that. I'm fighting you and

0:14:39.600 --> 0:14:40.360
<v Speaker 1>you're fighting me.

0:14:40.680 --> 0:14:41.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:14:41.760 --> 0:14:42.600
<v Speaker 1>My thoughts on that.

0:14:42.920 --> 0:14:45.400
<v Speaker 2>I hate the fact that it just plays into that

0:14:45.600 --> 0:14:47.880
<v Speaker 2>parent guilt of like, this is the last time you're

0:14:47.880 --> 0:14:50.440
<v Speaker 2>ever going to see your child and if you don't make.

0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:51.720
<v Speaker 1>It, does that guy even have any kids?

0:14:51.840 --> 0:14:54.520
<v Speaker 2>Well? And if he does, I bet you he's there

0:14:54.520 --> 0:14:56.360
<v Speaker 2>for like two hours on the weekend and he's playing

0:14:56.400 --> 0:14:58.000
<v Speaker 2>golf for the other like rescidence.

0:14:57.680 --> 0:15:00.440
<v Speaker 1>With Joe Rogan. Yeah, anyone that's hanging out with Joe

0:15:00.520 --> 0:15:03.720
<v Speaker 1>Rogan ain't looking after their kids. Absolutely. First of all,

0:15:03.760 --> 0:15:06.160
<v Speaker 1>I need to know if he's got kids, so let's

0:15:06.160 --> 0:15:09.040
<v Speaker 1>look that up. But that's the sort of advice you'd

0:15:09.040 --> 0:15:11.800
<v Speaker 1>get from someone who doesn't have kids. If someone who

0:15:11.800 --> 0:15:14.000
<v Speaker 1>doesn't have kids try to give me any advice, I'm like,

0:15:15.000 --> 0:15:16.840
<v Speaker 1>let me stop you right there. Can I talk to

0:15:16.880 --> 0:15:21.720
<v Speaker 1>your parents. Yeah, you've got no fucking idea. People are like,

0:15:21.760 --> 0:15:25.120
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to be such a patient dad, No you're not, Yeah,

0:15:25.160 --> 0:15:25.600
<v Speaker 1>you wanre not.

0:15:25.760 --> 0:15:27.040
<v Speaker 2>Does not work like that.

0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:30.960
<v Speaker 1>The ones that show real patients end up being axe

0:15:31.040 --> 0:15:35.160
<v Speaker 1>murderers down the line because they can't get the emotion out.

0:15:35.360 --> 0:15:39.440
<v Speaker 2>Totally, totally. I think, who has got the time? You're

0:15:39.480 --> 0:15:44.400
<v Speaker 2>going to spend your entire freaking day visualizing yourself being

0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:47.800
<v Speaker 2>eighty because it's just relentless looking after the toddlers. It's

0:15:47.960 --> 0:15:50.840
<v Speaker 2>just like getting ready in the morning, like getting the

0:15:50.880 --> 0:15:53.640
<v Speaker 2>shoes on, having breakfast, getting out the door, getting in

0:15:53.680 --> 0:15:55.120
<v Speaker 2>the prem like.

0:15:55.600 --> 0:15:59.520
<v Speaker 1>Everything is extenssive. Task of the way is going to

0:15:59.560 --> 0:16:01.280
<v Speaker 1>be a melt and you know what is happening. The

0:16:01.320 --> 0:16:08.880
<v Speaker 1>toddlers are probably going he goes dad again, closing. I'm

0:16:08.960 --> 0:16:11.160
<v Speaker 1>right here, and they don't give a ship what you're doing.

0:16:11.200 --> 0:16:12.960
<v Speaker 1>That's what I mean. If I close my eyes, Oscar

0:16:13.040 --> 0:16:15.160
<v Speaker 1>would be like, I'm fucking out of here, man, Like

0:16:15.440 --> 0:16:16.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to go see someone who's not going to

0:16:16.760 --> 0:16:18.080
<v Speaker 1>close their eyes when they carry on like this.

0:16:18.240 --> 0:16:21.240
<v Speaker 2>It's also the conversation about gentle parenting when people are like,

0:16:21.320 --> 0:16:23.240
<v Speaker 2>you can't raise your voice to the kid. And look,

0:16:23.280 --> 0:16:25.520
<v Speaker 2>don't get me wrong, within reason, you shouldn't be young

0:16:25.520 --> 0:16:28.120
<v Speaker 2>at your kid every minute of the day.

0:16:28.360 --> 0:16:38.080
<v Speaker 1>Onetime something for the record, show that. But unless I

0:16:38.200 --> 0:16:40.400
<v Speaker 1>raise my voice, nothing gets done.

0:16:40.560 --> 0:16:43.880
<v Speaker 2>Nothing gets done. I could be like, onlie, please put

0:16:43.920 --> 0:16:46.160
<v Speaker 2>your socks on, and unless I'm like put your socks

0:16:46.200 --> 0:16:48.600
<v Speaker 2>on right now, she's just going to be like give

0:16:48.640 --> 0:16:49.360
<v Speaker 2>me the bird.

0:16:49.360 --> 0:16:51.120
<v Speaker 1>And push you and push you and push you. So

0:16:51.240 --> 0:16:53.800
<v Speaker 1>have you seen that guy's content where he's like in

0:16:53.840 --> 0:16:56.560
<v Speaker 1>the car and like someone's pretending to be his daughter

0:16:56.560 --> 0:16:59.880
<v Speaker 1>and they're like left their bag. They're like, okay, accidentally left.

0:17:00.360 --> 0:17:03.040
<v Speaker 1>It's it's okay, and then it's got like a normal

0:17:03.080 --> 0:17:04.080
<v Speaker 1>parents Like what.

0:17:07.119 --> 0:17:07.760
<v Speaker 2>That costs me?

0:17:07.960 --> 0:17:08.920
<v Speaker 3>Fucking so much?

0:17:09.880 --> 0:17:13.840
<v Speaker 1>Like nothing gets done, nothing happened unless you're like you

0:17:13.880 --> 0:17:15.480
<v Speaker 1>know how you meet those people who don't need to

0:17:15.560 --> 0:17:17.840
<v Speaker 1>yell to hit their voice to be heard. They just

0:17:17.840 --> 0:17:21.440
<v Speaker 1>have a real stroke. I don't have that. I'm very

0:17:21.520 --> 0:17:24.480
<v Speaker 1>much like if I was to get like that, it's yelling,

0:17:24.560 --> 0:17:26.320
<v Speaker 1>Like sometimes I'm not even yelling at it was like

0:17:26.359 --> 0:17:29.600
<v Speaker 1>do you have to yell? I'm like just I just

0:17:29.640 --> 0:17:31.880
<v Speaker 1>want to be heard in my own house. And these

0:17:32.080 --> 0:17:34.560
<v Speaker 1>fucking kids, put your shoes on.

0:17:35.359 --> 0:17:37.720
<v Speaker 2>I'm glad you hate that video because I read the

0:17:37.760 --> 0:17:40.960
<v Speaker 2>comments and everyone's like, that's such amazing advice. We should

0:17:40.960 --> 0:17:42.720
<v Speaker 2>all live like that and parent like that. I'm like,

0:17:42.800 --> 0:17:44.960
<v Speaker 2>fuck up people who say we should live every day

0:17:44.960 --> 0:17:45.639
<v Speaker 2>like it's your last.

0:17:45.640 --> 0:17:47.840
<v Speaker 1>You should all live naked on a farm somewhere.

0:17:47.960 --> 0:17:51.240
<v Speaker 2>It's not the fucking reality of parenting. Okay, I'm glad

0:17:51.320 --> 0:17:51.920
<v Speaker 2>on the same page.

0:17:51.960 --> 0:18:03.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, absolutely, Like that's fucking dribble. I know we said

0:18:03.520 --> 0:18:05.840
<v Speaker 1>we're not going to talk too much shit and poo

0:18:05.960 --> 0:18:08.199
<v Speaker 1>on this podcast, but it seems to come up every episode,

0:18:08.240 --> 0:18:09.560
<v Speaker 1>so I'm just going to run with it.

0:18:09.560 --> 0:18:11.600
<v Speaker 2>It's all good for it. One lady did say, like,

0:18:11.720 --> 0:18:13.840
<v Speaker 2>you guys really do talk about your kids pool lit.

0:18:13.840 --> 0:18:15.080
<v Speaker 2>It's a little bit too much information.

0:18:15.200 --> 0:18:18.120
<v Speaker 1>She's probably staring at it. If she's got young enough kids,

0:18:18.119 --> 0:18:20.520
<v Speaker 1>she's probably like, if I see a shit, at least

0:18:20.520 --> 0:18:22.600
<v Speaker 1>I know what to do with it and throw it out.

0:18:22.920 --> 0:18:25.439
<v Speaker 1>If it's mum, she's like, gives a look, what color

0:18:25.520 --> 0:18:26.320
<v Speaker 1>is it.

0:18:26.320 --> 0:18:29.439
<v Speaker 2>It's telling us to not talk about kids pooh is

0:18:29.520 --> 0:18:32.800
<v Speaker 2>like telling a footy podcast not to talk about rugby league.

0:18:33.000 --> 0:18:35.520
<v Speaker 1>It's like, don't talk about rugby league. On this Rugby

0:18:35.560 --> 0:18:38.360
<v Speaker 1>League podcast, all we talk about absolutely, we just talk

0:18:38.400 --> 0:18:39.320
<v Speaker 1>about kids and their shit.

0:18:39.640 --> 0:18:40.159
<v Speaker 2>What happened?

0:18:40.280 --> 0:18:43.639
<v Speaker 1>So Oscar's like toilet train now so, which is great

0:18:43.960 --> 0:18:46.960
<v Speaker 1>of course, except for I've got to wipe it from

0:18:46.960 --> 0:18:48.800
<v Speaker 1>a different angle than i would with an appy. It's

0:18:48.800 --> 0:18:51.119
<v Speaker 1>a little bit. I actually hit my head on the

0:18:52.359 --> 0:18:55.119
<v Speaker 1>This is completely unrelated to the story. I went to

0:18:55.200 --> 0:18:57.040
<v Speaker 1>bend over to help him wipe it. Hit my head

0:18:57.040 --> 0:19:01.840
<v Speaker 1>on the counter. So I haven't asked why injury concussion.

0:19:01.960 --> 0:19:05.280
<v Speaker 2>We're eleven days whereabouts.

0:19:05.040 --> 0:19:07.200
<v Speaker 1>Right on the top, didn't wear how to or This is.

0:19:07.160 --> 0:19:09.919
<v Speaker 2>Completely unrelated and probably won't make the cart. Give me

0:19:09.960 --> 0:19:10.720
<v Speaker 2>your hand for a sec.

0:19:12.960 --> 0:19:13.800
<v Speaker 1>What's that? Oh?

0:19:14.000 --> 0:19:16.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So once I was doing a piss.

0:19:16.520 --> 0:19:17.800
<v Speaker 1>Did you just get a haircut?

0:19:17.920 --> 0:19:21.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? Sorry, Oh my god. Sorry. Once I was doing

0:19:21.119 --> 0:19:23.440
<v Speaker 2>a piss and it was such a big piss after

0:19:23.720 --> 0:19:24.560
<v Speaker 2>a big night out.

0:19:24.760 --> 0:19:27.560
<v Speaker 1>I love that piss. There's something that's better than sex,

0:19:27.600 --> 0:19:28.040
<v Speaker 1>that piss.

0:19:29.040 --> 0:19:30.960
<v Speaker 2>And I was standing there and I was just like.

0:19:31.160 --> 0:19:33.760
<v Speaker 1>Oh, just the flow of it.

0:19:33.840 --> 0:19:36.760
<v Speaker 2>I was coming out. It was like a damn that

0:19:36.880 --> 0:19:38.680
<v Speaker 2>had just like opened.

0:19:38.359 --> 0:19:40.760
<v Speaker 1>Up and it was just like I'm feeling.

0:19:40.480 --> 0:19:42.679
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, like the exact rate of piss. But

0:19:42.720 --> 0:19:44.400
<v Speaker 2>it was just like lead.

0:19:44.240 --> 0:19:46.680
<v Speaker 1>To ps PSI on those things.

0:19:48.040 --> 0:19:50.119
<v Speaker 2>And then it just wouldn't stop. It wouldn't stop and

0:19:50.280 --> 0:19:52.119
<v Speaker 2>kept going and going going, and I was like, fucking hell,

0:19:52.200 --> 0:19:53.520
<v Speaker 2>I've been here for a while now, so I was like,

0:19:53.560 --> 0:19:56.000
<v Speaker 2>I'll just give it a little little push to help

0:19:56.040 --> 0:19:58.760
<v Speaker 2>it come out, to finish it off. And I started

0:19:58.800 --> 0:20:02.440
<v Speaker 2>pushing and and then next thing you passed down. I

0:20:02.560 --> 0:20:11.680
<v Speaker 2>fucking and I woke up on the bathroom floor covered

0:20:11.720 --> 0:20:15.040
<v Speaker 2>in piss and blood everywhere because I hit the head

0:20:15.080 --> 0:20:15.960
<v Speaker 2>in the corner of the bar.

0:20:16.560 --> 0:20:21.160
<v Speaker 1>That that is a great story. I can't believe you've

0:20:21.160 --> 0:20:23.359
<v Speaker 1>never told me that before. When was that?

0:20:23.359 --> 0:20:26.919
<v Speaker 2>That was when I was like twenty four, that's great.

0:20:27.200 --> 0:20:28.960
<v Speaker 2>I just like moved to Bondy and I was like,

0:20:29.160 --> 0:20:32.320
<v Speaker 2>I love that having nights out back in year.

0:20:32.400 --> 0:20:33.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:20:33.560 --> 0:20:35.320
<v Speaker 2>Four stitches, four stitches.

0:20:35.400 --> 0:20:36.679
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's wild.

0:20:36.880 --> 0:20:38.360
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I was so confused.

0:20:38.359 --> 0:20:41.520
<v Speaker 1>When I woke up, I bet we covered in pistol.

0:20:41.560 --> 0:20:44.600
<v Speaker 2>I was covered in piss. The thing was still flowing.

0:20:44.600 --> 0:20:46.240
<v Speaker 2>When I woke up, I came to it was still

0:20:46.280 --> 0:20:46.880
<v Speaker 2>pumping out.

0:20:47.160 --> 0:20:49.520
<v Speaker 1>You could have died. Imagine that as your death story.

0:20:51.040 --> 0:20:52.520
<v Speaker 1>That would be so funny.

0:20:53.000 --> 0:20:54.800
<v Speaker 2>He went how he would have liked to have.

0:20:54.800 --> 0:20:59.960
<v Speaker 1>Gone, Yeah, really pushing out the sorry I'd interrupted anyway,

0:21:00.240 --> 0:21:03.080
<v Speaker 1>So Oscar is toilet train now, which is great except

0:21:03.119 --> 0:21:04.840
<v Speaker 1>for like he's got like sometimes you've got to sit

0:21:04.920 --> 0:21:07.639
<v Speaker 1>in there with him, and you've got to witness the crime,

0:21:09.200 --> 0:21:11.560
<v Speaker 1>witness the crime happening instead of just coming in ut

0:21:11.560 --> 0:21:13.120
<v Speaker 1>in the aftermast it's cleaning up.

0:21:13.359 --> 0:21:16.560
<v Speaker 2>It's such a unique environment being in the same room

0:21:16.560 --> 0:21:19.960
<v Speaker 2>as someone else as they're like staring you in the

0:21:20.000 --> 0:21:25.080
<v Speaker 2>eyes as they're pushing out a massive shit. It's a

0:21:25.119 --> 0:21:26.480
<v Speaker 2>real bonding experience.

0:21:26.640 --> 0:21:29.520
<v Speaker 1>And when you hear it splash and they splashes up

0:21:29.520 --> 0:21:30.440
<v Speaker 1>on their bum.

0:21:30.400 --> 0:21:34.200
<v Speaker 2>Marley makes it. Marley makes me hold it. So makes

0:21:34.240 --> 0:21:37.119
<v Speaker 2>me hold her hands, just like hold my hands, hold

0:21:37.119 --> 0:21:40.399
<v Speaker 2>my hand, and I'm like, it's like she's you know,

0:21:40.760 --> 0:21:44.120
<v Speaker 2>in mid like exorcism. The demons are leaving her.

0:21:44.040 --> 0:21:48.600
<v Speaker 1>Body, pinching off a log land some cable. So yeah,

0:21:48.640 --> 0:21:50.440
<v Speaker 1>but he's obviously he stands up to wee because he's

0:21:50.440 --> 0:21:52.720
<v Speaker 1>the boy. Yes, which no one does that in your house,

0:21:52.760 --> 0:21:55.360
<v Speaker 1>does he have he's a little stool, but he doesn't

0:21:55.400 --> 0:21:58.200
<v Speaker 1>really necessarily need he can reach, but he's got a stool,

0:21:58.440 --> 0:22:00.440
<v Speaker 1>so the other day, he's come home from kindy and

0:22:00.640 --> 0:22:02.840
<v Speaker 1>he's got oh, he's always got to announce, he's got

0:22:02.840 --> 0:22:04.280
<v Speaker 1>a week away. He turned a light on for him

0:22:04.680 --> 0:22:07.600
<v Speaker 1>walk away. He does this thing and I hear this

0:22:07.880 --> 0:22:14.320
<v Speaker 1>fart right, it's like so long, and I was like,

0:22:15.000 --> 0:22:17.720
<v Speaker 1>first of all, proud of that one. He just went

0:22:17.800 --> 0:22:21.359
<v Speaker 1>quiet and I walked in and he hasn't really noticed.

0:22:21.600 --> 0:22:28.760
<v Speaker 1>He's still weing that he's diarrheared down his legs full like,

0:22:28.920 --> 0:22:31.639
<v Speaker 1>he just fully down his legs and he stood his

0:22:31.720 --> 0:22:33.880
<v Speaker 1>pants on around his ankles and it's built up a

0:22:33.920 --> 0:22:38.280
<v Speaker 1>puddle in the bottom of his dacks. And when he's

0:22:38.320 --> 0:22:43.240
<v Speaker 1>come to realize full meltdown, and I was like, you

0:22:43.320 --> 0:22:45.800
<v Speaker 1>got to cleaner. We had to throw the clothes out.

0:22:45.880 --> 0:22:48.120
<v Speaker 1>That was just so bad that we had to throw

0:22:48.119 --> 0:22:51.720
<v Speaker 1>the clothes out completely. But it got me thinking a

0:22:51.760 --> 0:22:55.960
<v Speaker 1>little bit like father, like some a couple of years ago.

0:23:01.320 --> 0:23:03.280
<v Speaker 1>So a couple of years ago, I went to Magi

0:23:03.280 --> 0:23:05.280
<v Speaker 1>Grant NRL. Shout out to Casey who I went with,

0:23:05.840 --> 0:23:07.920
<v Speaker 1>And it was the Friday night, the first night.

0:23:08.920 --> 0:23:13.080
<v Speaker 2>This isn't anyone who's not in Brisbane, and it's like there's.

0:23:12.880 --> 0:23:15.000
<v Speaker 1>All the games of Nral played in the Wednesday.

0:23:14.720 --> 0:23:17.520
<v Speaker 2>One of the biggest weekends of Rugby League of the

0:23:17.680 --> 0:23:18.359
<v Speaker 2>entire season.

0:23:18.680 --> 0:23:20.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, biggest weekend for arrest.

0:23:20.320 --> 0:23:22.439
<v Speaker 2>And you could say that there's a couple of drinks

0:23:22.480 --> 0:23:24.720
<v Speaker 2>get drunk, a couple.

0:23:24.480 --> 0:23:27.360
<v Speaker 1>Of leisurely drinks get drunk. Anyway, it's the first night.

0:23:27.560 --> 0:23:27.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:23:28.000 --> 0:23:30.840
<v Speaker 1>We're at sun Corps Stadium watching one of the games

0:23:31.359 --> 0:23:35.560
<v Speaker 1>and I thought I could sneak out a little fart.

0:23:36.000 --> 0:23:38.840
<v Speaker 1>Turns out it was on the flock and I leant

0:23:38.840 --> 0:23:41.040
<v Speaker 1>over to my mate and I said, I've just I've

0:23:41.080 --> 0:23:44.280
<v Speaker 1>just shipped myself and he was like, oh fuck. I

0:23:44.359 --> 0:23:47.160
<v Speaker 1>met sun Corps Stadium and I was like, shit, we're

0:23:47.160 --> 0:23:49.040
<v Speaker 1>staying at a hotel across the road. It's still quite

0:23:49.040 --> 0:23:49.439
<v Speaker 1>a walk.

0:23:49.760 --> 0:23:52.719
<v Speaker 2>In that moment, were you thinking this is just like

0:23:52.880 --> 0:23:55.560
<v Speaker 2>a slight slip, a little splash.

0:23:55.280 --> 0:23:58.159
<v Speaker 1>Or you like, oh no, I think this is rock bottom.

0:23:58.280 --> 0:24:01.040
<v Speaker 1>The fact that I recalled the story as soon as

0:24:01.040 --> 0:24:03.040
<v Speaker 1>I saw a pool of shit in the bottom of

0:24:03.040 --> 0:24:08.679
<v Speaker 1>a pantsd He's sort of walking behind me. We're just

0:24:08.720 --> 0:24:11.240
<v Speaker 1>making tracks up to this hostel and he was like

0:24:11.320 --> 0:24:13.199
<v Speaker 1>is it bad? Is it bad? And like I was like,

0:24:13.440 --> 0:24:15.360
<v Speaker 1>crack the door for him to have a look, and

0:24:15.400 --> 0:24:20.119
<v Speaker 1>I've completely mud slid in these underpants and it was

0:24:20.160 --> 0:24:23.200
<v Speaker 1>like a pool at the bottom, and it's just trapped itself.

0:24:23.320 --> 0:24:26.080
<v Speaker 1>So what's happened is the splatter is actually stuck to

0:24:26.119 --> 0:24:31.359
<v Speaker 1>my butt cheeks to form the perfect carrying poo apparatus,

0:24:32.119 --> 0:24:34.919
<v Speaker 1>and I just had to ditch it all, toss it

0:24:34.960 --> 0:24:37.200
<v Speaker 1>in the bin somewhere on the way out. Let's get

0:24:37.240 --> 0:24:38.040
<v Speaker 1>on with my life.

0:24:39.240 --> 0:24:40.399
<v Speaker 2>How old are you at this point?

0:24:41.000 --> 0:24:45.760
<v Speaker 1>Oh? This is like three years ago. So I when

0:24:45.800 --> 0:24:49.000
<v Speaker 1>I saw Oscar standing there and I thought, this is it.

0:24:49.520 --> 0:24:51.760
<v Speaker 1>This is what they mean when they say like father,

0:24:52.040 --> 0:24:52.800
<v Speaker 1>like son.

0:24:52.920 --> 0:24:53.560
<v Speaker 2>Were you proud?

0:24:54.400 --> 0:24:56.720
<v Speaker 1>Oh? Yeah, I was like one day, son, me and

0:24:56.760 --> 0:24:57.840
<v Speaker 1>you're both gonna shit up.

0:25:01.280 --> 0:25:13.520
<v Speaker 2>We're going to magic around, have you I'm going to

0:25:13.920 --> 0:25:15.560
<v Speaker 2>I think I know the answer to this question. It's

0:25:15.600 --> 0:25:21.240
<v Speaker 2>not so much have you it's more okay? So yes,

0:25:21.400 --> 0:25:22.640
<v Speaker 2>lying to your children?

0:25:23.520 --> 0:25:26.200
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yep, yep.

0:25:26.440 --> 0:25:28.840
<v Speaker 2>Have you told many lies to your kids at all?

0:25:29.200 --> 0:25:31.280
<v Speaker 2>Either to maybe get them to behave or to avoid

0:25:31.280 --> 0:25:31.840
<v Speaker 2>a meltdown?

0:25:32.760 --> 0:25:36.920
<v Speaker 1>So at the moment, So, my son turns four this week,

0:25:37.000 --> 0:25:39.480
<v Speaker 1>So for four years he has yet to have a

0:25:39.480 --> 0:25:44.439
<v Speaker 1>birthday party, because every birthday party we go to someone else's.

0:25:44.520 --> 0:25:46.800
<v Speaker 1>I'm just telling him that that's also his birthday party.

0:25:49.880 --> 0:25:53.680
<v Speaker 2>What do you mean on his first birthday?

0:25:53.760 --> 0:25:57.680
<v Speaker 1>I've saved so much money. No, we just like to

0:25:57.880 --> 0:26:00.760
<v Speaker 1>small family things, but like not it's big who who

0:26:00.760 --> 0:26:02.040
<v Speaker 1>go to the big who has? And I just say

0:26:02.080 --> 0:26:05.080
<v Speaker 1>to Oscar and he's like, he's like, when's my party?

0:26:05.160 --> 0:26:07.320
<v Speaker 1>Like this, this is it. He's had about four or

0:26:07.359 --> 0:26:08.399
<v Speaker 1>five birthday parties.

0:26:08.119 --> 0:26:09.919
<v Speaker 2>This year, so he's very lucky.

0:26:10.040 --> 0:26:12.480
<v Speaker 1>He's a very lucky boy. It was funny because I

0:26:12.480 --> 0:26:14.760
<v Speaker 1>put like a little thing on my Instagram this week saying, hey,

0:26:14.760 --> 0:26:16.439
<v Speaker 1>what should I get this four year off his birthday?

0:26:16.520 --> 0:26:19.360
<v Speaker 1>One of our friends rode on their birthday party one.

0:26:21.920 --> 0:26:24.000
<v Speaker 2>At what point do you think you'll actually give him

0:26:24.000 --> 0:26:24.760
<v Speaker 2>a birthday party?

0:26:26.240 --> 0:26:29.840
<v Speaker 1>Well, originally we thought originally we thought we won't give

0:26:29.880 --> 0:26:31.440
<v Speaker 1>him one until he asked for one, But he asked

0:26:31.440 --> 0:26:32.800
<v Speaker 1>for one really early, so we threw that out of

0:26:32.800 --> 0:26:37.160
<v Speaker 1>the window. And now we're just we're just winging it

0:26:37.760 --> 0:26:39.560
<v Speaker 1>until he realizes, yeah.

0:26:39.440 --> 0:26:42.320
<v Speaker 2>Up until four it is quite ridiculous. Like we gave

0:26:42.400 --> 0:26:45.719
<v Speaker 2>Marley a very extravagant birthday party at home.

0:26:46.640 --> 0:26:48.560
<v Speaker 1>It was I think it was homes.

0:26:48.560 --> 0:26:50.520
<v Speaker 2>There are at home, but we still, like, you know,

0:26:50.600 --> 0:26:52.520
<v Speaker 2>we had still do the Yeah, we had.

0:26:52.359 --> 0:26:56.359
<v Speaker 1>Like, did you have entertainment, like a child entertainer not

0:26:56.440 --> 0:26:56.960
<v Speaker 1>a stripper?

0:26:57.240 --> 0:27:00.800
<v Speaker 2>We did. I think, Well, Marley's aut to turn four

0:27:01.280 --> 0:27:04.679
<v Speaker 2>and she's really chomping on this idea of having a

0:27:04.720 --> 0:27:07.200
<v Speaker 2>fairy like she wants a fairy birthday.

0:27:06.840 --> 0:27:08.920
<v Speaker 1>Party, and that's pretty common for her girl.

0:27:08.920 --> 0:27:11.679
<v Speaker 2>We know we never had an entertainer, but I think

0:27:12.080 --> 0:27:15.920
<v Speaker 2>we went all out for the first birthday party, second, third, Yeah,

0:27:16.600 --> 0:27:19.320
<v Speaker 2>just like it was down the pub almost more a

0:27:19.320 --> 0:27:20.880
<v Speaker 2>place where the kids can run around and the parents

0:27:20.920 --> 0:27:23.040
<v Speaker 2>can have a drink. But now we've got the fourth.

0:27:22.760 --> 0:27:24.280
<v Speaker 1>Birthday after ours.

0:27:24.440 --> 0:27:26.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Yeah, you may get an invite.

0:27:26.800 --> 0:27:29.320
<v Speaker 1>You have to too far for us, Yeah yeah, all right,

0:27:29.359 --> 0:27:31.160
<v Speaker 1>Well the thing we're going to on Saturday, the Blue thing.

0:27:31.240 --> 0:27:33.359
<v Speaker 1>I told Oscar that's it's like that's a few birthday.

0:27:33.560 --> 0:27:37.520
<v Speaker 2>That's his birthday for anyone who's unfamiliar. Ash and I

0:27:37.600 --> 0:27:40.920
<v Speaker 2>both because Ash is an influencer gifts, say that we've

0:27:40.920 --> 0:27:43.440
<v Speaker 2>got an invite to a Blue premiere.

0:27:43.359 --> 0:27:44.600
<v Speaker 1>And Blue is going to be there.

0:27:44.720 --> 0:27:46.640
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and so Ash's.

0:27:46.359 --> 0:27:48.320
<v Speaker 1>Like birthday parties sort it.

0:27:49.000 --> 0:27:52.160
<v Speaker 2>That is it, But we might get the entertainer.

0:27:51.880 --> 0:27:56.359
<v Speaker 1>Speaking of entertainers for parties, children's parties specifically. We're at

0:27:56.359 --> 0:27:58.200
<v Speaker 1>the park. This is a little while ago. I'm talking

0:27:58.200 --> 0:28:00.760
<v Speaker 1>like two or three months ago, and it's one of

0:28:00.760 --> 0:28:04.119
<v Speaker 1>those parks where they have, you know, multiple parties at

0:28:04.160 --> 0:28:08.000
<v Speaker 1>once because great, okay, because then like kids join in

0:28:08.040 --> 0:28:11.119
<v Speaker 1>the big park and whatever. But we weren't there for

0:28:11.119 --> 0:28:13.040
<v Speaker 1>a party. We're just there at the park with some

0:28:13.160 --> 0:28:17.600
<v Speaker 1>friends and whatever. And all of a sudden, this guy

0:28:18.200 --> 0:28:22.760
<v Speaker 1>comes running out of the bush, full like head to

0:28:22.760 --> 0:28:24.960
<v Speaker 1>toe black with his eyes out like this. He was

0:28:25.040 --> 0:28:26.879
<v Speaker 1>meant to be a ninja. So someone was having a

0:28:26.960 --> 0:28:27.719
<v Speaker 1>ninja party.

0:28:28.119 --> 0:28:30.520
<v Speaker 2>Did you think to yourself, Fuck, I've got I've got

0:28:30.560 --> 0:28:31.480
<v Speaker 2>to rescue the kids here.

0:28:31.840 --> 0:28:34.000
<v Speaker 1>On my first instinct, he is there's some content in this,

0:28:34.920 --> 0:28:37.879
<v Speaker 1>don't worry about the kids. Somebody thinking the children anyway

0:28:37.960 --> 0:28:40.320
<v Speaker 1>comes over and then I didn't really realize. In one

0:28:40.360 --> 0:28:41.880
<v Speaker 1>hand he had a boom box and he starts like

0:28:42.000 --> 0:28:45.960
<v Speaker 1>full dancing, dancing, and I'm like what the fuck? And

0:28:46.000 --> 0:28:47.520
<v Speaker 1>like I was, it was like, oh, we have to

0:28:47.560 --> 0:28:49.840
<v Speaker 1>go home down like no, no, no, no, no, I

0:28:49.920 --> 0:28:53.200
<v Speaker 1>want to watch. I want to watch what happens. Anyway,

0:28:53.240 --> 0:28:56.560
<v Speaker 1>he's like playing these games, like full hostage games. It

0:28:56.680 --> 0:28:59.480
<v Speaker 1>was wild. He was tying them to the trees, tying

0:28:59.520 --> 0:29:01.920
<v Speaker 1>them to each other. And I filmed a bunch of it,

0:29:01.960 --> 0:29:04.000
<v Speaker 1>but I'm not allowed to produce it because the kids

0:29:04.040 --> 0:29:05.720
<v Speaker 1>are Yeah, of course, I don't just be a bunch

0:29:05.720 --> 0:29:08.000
<v Speaker 1>of blurry things walking around with this guy covered in

0:29:08.080 --> 0:29:11.320
<v Speaker 1>head to toe. It was honestly, like, like I said, like,

0:29:11.400 --> 0:29:13.280
<v Speaker 1>if you were looking from a distance, you'd be like.

0:29:13.440 --> 0:29:15.719
<v Speaker 2>And he's making good money. He's what are you like,

0:29:16.440 --> 0:29:18.480
<v Speaker 2>You're paying at least like two hundred bucks right for

0:29:18.520 --> 0:29:19.680
<v Speaker 2>an entertainer for a couple of hours.

0:29:19.720 --> 0:29:21.959
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, it must be yeah, yeah, but like it

0:29:22.040 --> 0:29:26.120
<v Speaker 1>was never seen anything like it, And Oscar saw this

0:29:26.160 --> 0:29:29.680
<v Speaker 1>guy run past and was traumatized, petrified. Yeah, but then

0:29:29.680 --> 0:29:31.440
<v Speaker 1>when we saw him tied to the tree, I thought,

0:29:31.440 --> 0:29:32.440
<v Speaker 1>this guy's onto something.

0:29:33.120 --> 0:29:35.600
<v Speaker 2>I'd love it if it was actually someone who's abducting kids.

0:29:35.600 --> 0:29:38.640
<v Speaker 2>And he's just like, oh, it's an entertainer, and he's

0:29:38.720 --> 0:29:40.840
<v Speaker 2>like strangling kids and tying them up.

0:29:40.880 --> 0:29:45.280
<v Speaker 1>But like he was doing all the ninja moves. But

0:29:45.400 --> 0:29:47.640
<v Speaker 1>it just out of nowhere, comes out of the bush.

0:29:47.720 --> 0:29:50.600
<v Speaker 1>It's unbelievable anyway, So I just told Oscar that was

0:29:50.600 --> 0:29:54.680
<v Speaker 1>his birthday, buddy. But yeah, look, I do lie to them.

0:29:54.840 --> 0:29:55.840
<v Speaker 1>That's one of the lies.

0:29:55.920 --> 0:29:57.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think everyone lies.

0:29:57.280 --> 0:29:59.040
<v Speaker 1>I think they're just like white harmless lies.

0:29:59.200 --> 0:29:59.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:29:59.680 --> 0:30:01.560
<v Speaker 1>The that was a bit more depriving and fun and

0:30:02.000 --> 0:30:03.600
<v Speaker 1>probably meaningful.

0:30:03.400 --> 0:30:05.520
<v Speaker 2>As long as like, once he gets to like the

0:30:05.560 --> 0:30:08.520
<v Speaker 2>age of once he's at school, I think you need

0:30:08.560 --> 0:30:10.560
<v Speaker 2>to start having a birthday. I mean, not to tell

0:30:10.560 --> 0:30:14.520
<v Speaker 2>you how to parent ash, you know, but if he's like,

0:30:14.920 --> 0:30:16.680
<v Speaker 2>you know, you want a grade one, I'll have a

0:30:16.760 --> 0:30:17.960
<v Speaker 2>birthday party, right, yeah.

0:30:17.840 --> 0:30:18.880
<v Speaker 1>But it'd be like a piss up.

0:30:19.320 --> 0:30:22.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, great, a couple of little

0:30:22.560 --> 0:30:25.719
<v Speaker 2>white lies. But I told a bigger lie to Marley

0:30:26.480 --> 0:30:29.520
<v Speaker 2>the other day because she does this thing where I

0:30:29.560 --> 0:30:32.000
<v Speaker 2>don't know if your kids ever did this, but to

0:30:32.120 --> 0:30:36.000
<v Speaker 2>comfort herself, she'll suck her thumb, put a finger in

0:30:36.040 --> 0:30:39.480
<v Speaker 2>her nose and then rubs her nose like this and

0:30:39.480 --> 0:30:41.600
<v Speaker 2>put a finger in the nose and rubs like that.

0:30:41.640 --> 0:30:46.200
<v Speaker 2>That's a hum Yeah. Yeah, I try to google to

0:30:46.240 --> 0:30:47.280
<v Speaker 2>see why she does it.

0:30:47.360 --> 0:30:51.760
<v Speaker 1>But did you get some weird things? That's so weird.

0:30:51.920 --> 0:30:54.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's her comfort thing and if she if she's

0:30:54.600 --> 0:30:55.400
<v Speaker 2>going to sleep.

0:30:55.960 --> 0:31:01.880
<v Speaker 1>It's funny because my comfort things is, but she loves.

0:31:01.640 --> 0:31:03.920
<v Speaker 2>It, and no matter what we say, we're like, hey,

0:31:04.000 --> 0:31:06.640
<v Speaker 2>I don't pick your nose because if we're out and

0:31:06.640 --> 0:31:13.400
<v Speaker 2>about and she's getting tired and embarrasses, but she can't stop.

0:31:13.440 --> 0:31:15.560
<v Speaker 2>And then we try to tell hey, it's you know,

0:31:15.600 --> 0:31:18.000
<v Speaker 2>it's not good. You've got bad germs on your fingers

0:31:18.040 --> 0:31:19.000
<v Speaker 2>and stop doing.

0:31:18.760 --> 0:31:20.520
<v Speaker 1>That, which that's true.

0:31:20.680 --> 0:31:25.680
<v Speaker 2>Wouldn't listen, would true? This is the good stuff. And

0:31:25.720 --> 0:31:28.840
<v Speaker 2>then I thought, you know what, what's going to stop

0:31:28.880 --> 0:31:31.640
<v Speaker 2>her from doing this is just telling her a little lie.

0:31:32.400 --> 0:31:34.400
<v Speaker 2>So I said, if you keep picking your nose, you're

0:31:34.400 --> 0:31:36.800
<v Speaker 2>going to make your nostrils bigger and your brain's going

0:31:36.840 --> 0:31:41.520
<v Speaker 2>to fall out, so you better stop. Complex I was like,

0:31:43.280 --> 0:31:45.080
<v Speaker 2>and you know when you say something and you kind

0:31:45.080 --> 0:31:51.200
<v Speaker 2>of like you know, it was more a case of

0:31:51.280 --> 0:31:53.320
<v Speaker 2>like I could I could see it in her eyes

0:31:53.360 --> 0:31:55.320
<v Speaker 2>that she kind of like was piecing it together, and

0:31:55.360 --> 0:31:55.720
<v Speaker 2>she was.

0:31:55.720 --> 0:31:58.480
<v Speaker 1>Like, holy fuck, imagine if that happened.

0:31:58.440 --> 0:32:01.840
<v Speaker 2>And she like rip, and she's like, Daddy, I don't

0:32:01.840 --> 0:32:03.720
<v Speaker 2>want my brains to fall out. And I was like, well,

0:32:03.840 --> 0:32:06.400
<v Speaker 2>you better stop. And then she starts crying and I'm like, oh,

0:32:06.720 --> 0:32:07.479
<v Speaker 2>this is getting a bit.

0:32:07.600 --> 0:32:10.440
<v Speaker 1>Oh she's like, oh shit, she got the visuals.

0:32:10.040 --> 0:32:11.720
<v Speaker 2>And Laura is like, what's wrong, and I'm like.

0:32:12.120 --> 0:32:13.520
<v Speaker 1>Don't tell her, don't tell her, don't tell her, don't

0:32:13.520 --> 0:32:13.800
<v Speaker 1>tell her.

0:32:14.000 --> 0:32:16.480
<v Speaker 2>My nose, my brain is going to fall out. And

0:32:16.560 --> 0:32:18.880
<v Speaker 2>Laura's like, what have you done? And I'm like, but look,

0:32:18.920 --> 0:32:20.560
<v Speaker 2>she's she's not doing it anymore.

0:32:20.760 --> 0:32:24.040
<v Speaker 1>It's worked, and she's just completely traumatized.

0:32:24.120 --> 0:32:26.200
<v Speaker 2>And I'm like, it's a little lie, right.

0:32:26.080 --> 0:32:28.760
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I think they're harmless like that. Honestly, that was

0:32:28.920 --> 0:32:33.040
<v Speaker 1>really creative of you, and I like it, thank you,

0:32:33.120 --> 0:32:35.240
<v Speaker 1>And I think Marley needs to take a good heart,

0:32:35.280 --> 0:32:37.440
<v Speaker 1>look at herself and realize that she took that the

0:32:37.440 --> 0:32:40.720
<v Speaker 1>wrong way, not on me, that it's on her, thank you,

0:32:41.200 --> 0:32:43.280
<v Speaker 1>thank you very much, and her sister should be backing

0:32:43.320 --> 0:32:43.680
<v Speaker 1>you up.

0:32:44.120 --> 0:32:46.080
<v Speaker 2>But I did a little call out on my socials

0:32:46.440 --> 0:32:49.120
<v Speaker 2>and asked the other good parents of this country what

0:32:49.160 --> 0:32:51.120
<v Speaker 2>lies have you told your kids? And I got a

0:32:51.160 --> 0:32:53.560
<v Speaker 2>lot of answers, a couple of beauties. I'm going to

0:32:53.560 --> 0:32:54.239
<v Speaker 2>read a couple of you. Now.

0:32:54.440 --> 0:32:57.400
<v Speaker 1>I think, like we all do it, okay, there's always

0:32:57.520 --> 0:33:00.600
<v Speaker 1>that little lie you tell back to like what our

0:33:00.640 --> 0:33:02.600
<v Speaker 1>parents would have told us, being like don't sit too

0:33:02.600 --> 0:33:04.880
<v Speaker 1>close to the TV. Your eyes will go square. Lie

0:33:05.080 --> 0:33:07.120
<v Speaker 1>and then they wonder why we grow up to be liars.

0:33:07.400 --> 0:33:09.720
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, because you've created.

0:33:09.440 --> 0:33:12.720
<v Speaker 1>You've created this person. You told me that lying is okay.

0:33:13.400 --> 0:33:19.840
<v Speaker 1>So now I lie on my taxes. I don't. It's

0:33:19.880 --> 0:33:23.960
<v Speaker 1>the at is listening again. Hashtag gifted. I don't lie

0:33:23.960 --> 0:33:28.360
<v Speaker 1>on my taxes. That's because I haven't done them.

0:33:28.600 --> 0:33:30.160
<v Speaker 2>I actually put the call out there on my social

0:33:30.160 --> 0:33:33.600
<v Speaker 2>media and I asked other parents, what lies have you

0:33:33.600 --> 0:33:35.760
<v Speaker 2>told your children? I've picked my top three.

0:33:35.880 --> 0:33:36.840
<v Speaker 1>Okay, lam on me.

0:33:37.960 --> 0:33:40.880
<v Speaker 2>So line number one tooth fairy doesn't work on the

0:33:40.880 --> 0:33:44.400
<v Speaker 2>weekends because the mom didn't have any any cash in

0:33:44.400 --> 0:33:44.680
<v Speaker 2>the hound.

0:33:44.760 --> 0:33:46.920
<v Speaker 1>Who has cash? What are they doing? Unless the kids

0:33:46.920 --> 0:33:47.920
<v Speaker 1>got payWave And so.

0:33:47.960 --> 0:33:49.760
<v Speaker 2>The daughter was like, hey, I'm like, I put my

0:33:49.800 --> 0:33:51.920
<v Speaker 2>tooth under the pillow because obviously she must have lost

0:33:51.960 --> 0:33:52.959
<v Speaker 2>it before.

0:33:53.280 --> 0:33:55.080
<v Speaker 1>She's like, sorry, sweet, I'll put it through the pokes

0:33:55.120 --> 0:33:59.360
<v Speaker 1>last night. No, that's not a bad one. I think

0:34:00.360 --> 0:34:02.360
<v Speaker 1>a really innocent one. Was like, yeah, but they don't

0:34:02.560 --> 0:34:05.360
<v Speaker 1>to buy yourself time. I like it. I do like it.

0:34:05.960 --> 0:34:08.520
<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't use it because I'm just going to tell

0:34:08.960 --> 0:34:11.480
<v Speaker 1>my kids that I'm just not going to let them

0:34:11.480 --> 0:34:13.760
<v Speaker 1>know that they get money. I'm just all about saving

0:34:13.800 --> 0:34:24.799
<v Speaker 1>money savvy, I'm not. I'm not judging cheapskatele.

0:34:23.680 --> 0:34:28.200
<v Speaker 2>Line number two. Every swear word you use kills an.

0:34:28.080 --> 0:34:31.120
<v Speaker 1>ELF that the kid uses. Yeah, which is bad because

0:34:31.120 --> 0:34:35.839
<v Speaker 1>there'd be so many dead elves in my house. You've

0:34:35.840 --> 0:34:38.120
<v Speaker 1>listened to previous episodes. I think we've worked out that

0:34:38.239 --> 0:34:40.080
<v Speaker 1>I have got no filter around my children.

0:34:40.320 --> 0:34:42.240
<v Speaker 2>Elf.

0:34:42.600 --> 0:34:44.880
<v Speaker 1>If no kids get toys this year, it's because of

0:34:44.960 --> 0:34:49.160
<v Speaker 1>my kids actually repeating me. And Macy hasn't even started

0:34:49.160 --> 0:34:50.920
<v Speaker 1>talking yet, so imagine what that's going to be.

0:34:50.960 --> 0:34:54.239
<v Speaker 2>Like Jesus, it's an aggressive lie. I think using death

0:34:54.360 --> 0:34:56.839
<v Speaker 2>is part of the liar is aggressive, but look, if

0:34:56.840 --> 0:34:57.920
<v Speaker 2>it works fine.

0:34:57.760 --> 0:34:59.360
<v Speaker 1>Death is part of life. They need to figure it

0:34:59.360 --> 0:35:01.200
<v Speaker 1>out sooner or later. I like it.

0:35:01.440 --> 0:35:04.319
<v Speaker 2>Christmas is a great catalyst for getting your kids to

0:35:04.360 --> 0:35:06.400
<v Speaker 2>behave and off the back of that, if you have

0:35:06.440 --> 0:35:08.720
<v Speaker 2>to say a few white lies Christmas and birthdays.

0:35:08.760 --> 0:35:10.840
<v Speaker 1>So like at the moment, his birthday coming up, but

0:35:10.840 --> 0:35:14.200
<v Speaker 1>he's obsessed with we wouldn't know. He doesn't know when

0:35:14.200 --> 0:35:17.400
<v Speaker 1>he was born, so he's just obsessed with band aids.

0:35:17.440 --> 0:35:20.279
<v Speaker 1>So this morning I was like, do you know if

0:35:20.320 --> 0:35:22.160
<v Speaker 1>you use too many band aids. I'm not going to

0:35:22.160 --> 0:35:24.000
<v Speaker 1>be able to afford to buy your toys for your birthday.

0:35:24.680 --> 0:35:26.640
<v Speaker 1>You'll have to just have band aids for your birthday.

0:35:27.440 --> 0:35:29.680
<v Speaker 1>Or we did that to get him out of nappies. Well,

0:35:29.760 --> 0:35:31.600
<v Speaker 1>we can't afford to buy your toys anymore because we've

0:35:31.600 --> 0:35:33.680
<v Speaker 1>got to buy your nappies. So for your.

0:35:33.560 --> 0:35:34.720
<v Speaker 2>Birthday, living is rising.

0:35:34.880 --> 0:35:38.480
<v Speaker 1>Ye, you're not brightthday, you'll get nappies. And he was

0:35:38.480 --> 0:35:42.120
<v Speaker 1>out of them nappy quick smart. I'm full of advice,

0:35:42.840 --> 0:35:43.960
<v Speaker 1>not just a pretty face.

0:35:45.560 --> 0:35:48.120
<v Speaker 2>This is my third line that I got submitted. Hey,

0:35:48.120 --> 0:35:50.359
<v Speaker 2>we may do, we may do moving forward. I've got

0:35:50.360 --> 0:35:53.160
<v Speaker 2>a lot of submissions. We might do little segment top three,

0:35:53.320 --> 0:35:55.520
<v Speaker 2>little recurring segment. But this is the third final.

0:35:55.719 --> 0:35:55.839
<v Speaker 1>Ye.

0:35:56.360 --> 0:35:59.440
<v Speaker 2>This dad told his sons that if they don't get dressed,

0:36:00.040 --> 0:36:04.719
<v Speaker 2>willy chickens will eat their private parts. It's like a

0:36:04.719 --> 0:36:08.000
<v Speaker 2>bin chicken, but instead of the garbage, they only like cock.

0:36:09.520 --> 0:36:16.719
<v Speaker 1>With the gay chickens. Look, that is probably effective.

0:36:16.880 --> 0:36:18.000
<v Speaker 2>It's quite traumatic.

0:36:18.160 --> 0:36:20.239
<v Speaker 1>I think it's kind of that's a bit silly. Like

0:36:20.360 --> 0:36:22.000
<v Speaker 1>I think it depends how old your kids are. I

0:36:22.000 --> 0:36:24.600
<v Speaker 1>think if I said that to Oscar, he'd be like, what.

0:36:24.840 --> 0:36:26.600
<v Speaker 2>Which one's the willy chicken. Then you're like, oh, it's

0:36:26.600 --> 0:36:29.120
<v Speaker 2>that one over there, the cockatoo. Oh yeah, it.

0:36:29.160 --> 0:36:33.600
<v Speaker 1>Makes a lot of sense, makes total sense. That's very creative.

0:36:33.960 --> 0:36:36.360
<v Speaker 1>Like I said, there are a lot of creative lies

0:36:36.400 --> 0:36:40.279
<v Speaker 1>out there. That's a strange one. Really, we went really

0:36:40.360 --> 0:36:42.719
<v Speaker 1>dark there with the death and the chewing off all.

0:36:42.920 --> 0:36:48.799
<v Speaker 2>That's like nine percent of the lies that parents gave me,

0:36:49.000 --> 0:36:55.600
<v Speaker 2>either about death or like dicks.

0:36:58.880 --> 0:37:02.160
<v Speaker 1>All right, Matthew, So listening questions. We've got a long

0:37:02.239 --> 0:37:04.680
<v Speaker 1>list of listener questions, but we only have so much time.

0:37:05.239 --> 0:37:08.640
<v Speaker 2>If only we had you know, imagine we had five

0:37:08.680 --> 0:37:09.680
<v Speaker 2>episodes a week.

0:37:09.480 --> 0:37:12.520
<v Speaker 1>Of people would hate us. Me The other day when

0:37:12.520 --> 0:37:13.960
<v Speaker 1>I spoke to them, they're like, I just listened to

0:37:14.040 --> 0:37:16.160
<v Speaker 1>all the episodes. I'm like, we're probably sick in my

0:37:16.200 --> 0:37:21.719
<v Speaker 1>fucking voice. Yeah, like a little bit, don't blame you.

0:37:22.440 --> 0:37:24.640
<v Speaker 1>So look, five is a bit excessive, but we do

0:37:24.760 --> 0:37:25.880
<v Speaker 1>have a lot of listening.

0:37:25.719 --> 0:37:28.680
<v Speaker 2>Questions and we get so yeah, we're going to get two.

0:37:29.160 --> 0:37:30.680
<v Speaker 1>We only get two per episode, which I think at

0:37:30.719 --> 0:37:33.720
<v Speaker 1>the moments and half because there can be some heated

0:37:33.760 --> 0:37:37.120
<v Speaker 1>discussions about it. Hence the circumcision chat last week.

0:37:37.440 --> 0:37:39.040
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, kicked off on TikTok.

0:37:39.520 --> 0:37:42.120
<v Speaker 1>Of course it did, isn't it funny? People are just

0:37:42.239 --> 0:37:44.239
<v Speaker 1>like so loyal.

0:37:44.320 --> 0:37:45.760
<v Speaker 2>To their own, to their own.

0:37:45.640 --> 0:37:47.080
<v Speaker 1>In their own or their preference.

0:37:47.239 --> 0:37:49.320
<v Speaker 2>I made a joke on I think it was Instagram.

0:37:49.360 --> 0:37:53.000
<v Speaker 2>Actually I said, let's be honest, those who are circumcised

0:37:53.120 --> 0:37:55.560
<v Speaker 2>are superior, and people were like.

0:37:55.640 --> 0:38:03.600
<v Speaker 1>Owen classes, Matthew, we're all equal equality, penal equality, well

0:38:03.640 --> 0:38:05.600
<v Speaker 1>said what I'm all about? Thank you the teacher.

0:38:05.760 --> 0:38:06.520
<v Speaker 2>What do we got this week?

0:38:06.880 --> 0:38:11.880
<v Speaker 1>This week? First question is dummy or not too dummy?

0:38:12.200 --> 0:38:15.239
<v Speaker 1>Now there's no real extension on that, so let's just

0:38:15.320 --> 0:38:21.399
<v Speaker 1>go that. It's as a whole pun works. Yea far away,

0:38:21.520 --> 0:38:22.680
<v Speaker 1>I'll take it far away. What are you?

0:38:23.080 --> 0:38:24.640
<v Speaker 2>I am all about the dummy?

0:38:24.719 --> 0:38:25.319
<v Speaker 1>Elaborate?

0:38:26.520 --> 0:38:30.160
<v Speaker 2>So the dummy for us? Still, don't you fucking judge me?

0:38:30.840 --> 0:38:36.160
<v Speaker 2>Don't you sit there on your high horse and say still, yeah, look,

0:38:36.160 --> 0:38:37.480
<v Speaker 2>okay it is. We tried to.

0:38:37.400 --> 0:38:39.279
<v Speaker 1>Get rid of the dummy for who are we talking

0:38:39.280 --> 0:38:42.560
<v Speaker 1>about here? Okay, give us some more information.

0:38:43.200 --> 0:38:46.759
<v Speaker 2>So the dummy was for Marley only up until a

0:38:46.800 --> 0:38:49.800
<v Speaker 2>year ago. I think like Marley was using the dummy

0:38:49.840 --> 0:38:52.239
<v Speaker 2>for like every nap time, like to put him put

0:38:52.320 --> 0:38:53.959
<v Speaker 2>them to sleep, but then two things.

0:38:53.960 --> 0:38:55.239
<v Speaker 1>Can you put your nipple in my mouth?

0:38:55.360 --> 0:39:00.680
<v Speaker 2>I tried. Look, Lord knows that I tried. Certain moments,

0:39:00.719 --> 0:39:03.919
<v Speaker 2>we've got the dummy off Marley, but for Lola, every

0:39:04.000 --> 0:39:06.600
<v Speaker 2>nap time she still has that. Midday nap still has

0:39:06.960 --> 0:39:08.560
<v Speaker 2>the dummy. Then she has the dummy when she goes

0:39:08.560 --> 0:39:10.719
<v Speaker 2>to bed at nighttime, even if we're in a long

0:39:10.800 --> 0:39:14.080
<v Speaker 2>car ride. Lola needs a dummy and has gotten to

0:39:14.120 --> 0:39:16.279
<v Speaker 2>the point where the lady at daycare because a few

0:39:16.280 --> 0:39:17.840
<v Speaker 2>times I've forgotten to put the dummy in the bag,

0:39:18.440 --> 0:39:20.120
<v Speaker 2>and when I picked her up, he goes, oh, she

0:39:20.160 --> 0:39:21.840
<v Speaker 2>had a really tough day because she didn't have the

0:39:21.880 --> 0:39:23.879
<v Speaker 2>dummy and she couldn't go to sleep. I probably should

0:39:23.920 --> 0:39:26.520
<v Speaker 2>stop that dummy. And she's getting pretty old now, and

0:39:26.640 --> 0:39:28.239
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, do you judge me?

0:39:28.320 --> 0:39:29.840
<v Speaker 1>She should have pulled it out of Lola's mouth and

0:39:29.960 --> 0:39:36.680
<v Speaker 1>shut suck on that. Oh Jesus, wow.

0:39:36.880 --> 0:39:40.680
<v Speaker 2>Okay, we all know how you feel about early education teachers.

0:39:41.040 --> 0:39:44.239
<v Speaker 1>I love them to this. They listened to this, but

0:39:44.400 --> 0:39:46.839
<v Speaker 1>just like comments not needed.

0:39:47.640 --> 0:39:50.239
<v Speaker 2>We already know. I know I need to get her

0:39:50.239 --> 0:39:52.799
<v Speaker 2>off the dummy. I will do it, just not right now,

0:39:52.880 --> 0:39:56.640
<v Speaker 2>because every time we're like you know it takes four

0:39:56.760 --> 0:39:59.960
<v Speaker 2>nights or five nights. Once you get pike, first night,

0:40:00.080 --> 0:40:03.040
<v Speaker 2>second night awful. After that, you make it a progress.

0:40:03.760 --> 0:40:06.680
<v Speaker 2>But fucking's so busy that we just can't deal with

0:40:06.719 --> 0:40:08.640
<v Speaker 2>like a screaming baby until ten o'clock at nights.

0:40:08.800 --> 0:40:10.640
<v Speaker 1>Like, yeah, sometimes you just need to sleep, Like I

0:40:10.680 --> 0:40:14.120
<v Speaker 1>get you do what works, right. It's like things that

0:40:14.160 --> 0:40:17.360
<v Speaker 1>like my kids sleep with right comforters, right, so comforting.

0:40:17.360 --> 0:40:20.919
<v Speaker 1>You look at me and they're like that Oscar still

0:40:20.920 --> 0:40:25.120
<v Speaker 1>sleeps with like April's old breastpads. Yeah, like the washable one.

0:40:25.160 --> 0:40:27.359
<v Speaker 1>They've been washed a million times. They're not still used.

0:40:27.400 --> 0:40:32.919
<v Speaker 1>She's not leacing that I know, not interlactating, but yeah,

0:40:33.000 --> 0:40:36.400
<v Speaker 1>like I don't know, and like it's just a comfort thing, right,

0:40:36.480 --> 0:40:38.759
<v Speaker 1>He's just always had them. But yeah, the dummy is

0:40:38.880 --> 0:40:42.799
<v Speaker 1>annoying because it falls out right. Ah yeah, look for

0:40:42.880 --> 0:40:45.640
<v Speaker 1>a certain amount of time, dummy is king. Like it's

0:40:45.680 --> 0:40:48.560
<v Speaker 1>great people that say like, oh no, I'm never gonna

0:40:48.640 --> 0:40:50.520
<v Speaker 1>let my kid have a dummy someone in their mouth,

0:40:50.560 --> 0:40:53.919
<v Speaker 1>and see how much better your fucking life is, right, But.

0:40:53.840 --> 0:40:56.200
<v Speaker 2>I do, I hear. I can feel the other parents

0:40:56.200 --> 0:40:58.880
<v Speaker 2>out there judging me. It's on our to do list,

0:40:59.000 --> 0:41:00.360
<v Speaker 2>will get lol up off.

0:41:00.200 --> 0:41:02.640
<v Speaker 1>The life gets in the way. It's not a big deal.

0:41:03.120 --> 0:41:05.480
<v Speaker 1>It's not that they're going to be like at school's

0:41:05.480 --> 0:41:07.080
<v Speaker 1>with a dummy in the mouth, maybe a different type

0:41:07.080 --> 0:41:11.440
<v Speaker 1>of dummy. My kids had dummies, both sleeping and sleeping whatever,

0:41:11.560 --> 0:41:13.399
<v Speaker 1>but I think at some point they just didn't want

0:41:13.440 --> 0:41:15.839
<v Speaker 1>them anymore, and like, we're really lucky. Some kids get

0:41:15.840 --> 0:41:18.160
<v Speaker 1>really attached to them, so it's like, yeah, you've got

0:41:18.200 --> 0:41:20.520
<v Speaker 1>to do these things. Thankfully we didn't have to do that.

0:41:20.600 --> 0:41:23.120
<v Speaker 1>But I'm not opposed to dummy. If I see Look,

0:41:23.120 --> 0:41:24.880
<v Speaker 1>if I see a seven year old with a dummy,

0:41:24.880 --> 0:41:27.799
<v Speaker 1>I'm kind of like, that's a bit old. But at

0:41:27.840 --> 0:41:30.279
<v Speaker 1>the same time, they could be busy people and I'm

0:41:30.320 --> 0:41:32.840
<v Speaker 1>not going to judge them. I just did, but I won't.

0:41:33.920 --> 0:41:36.160
<v Speaker 2>Ask the good question. And we will make this quick

0:41:36.200 --> 0:41:40.640
<v Speaker 2>because we're running out of time. Spoken to much. Favorite

0:41:40.760 --> 0:41:42.160
<v Speaker 2>show for your kids to watch.

0:41:42.640 --> 0:41:45.759
<v Speaker 1>Mine's more of a movie. Those who are listening may

0:41:45.800 --> 0:41:48.160
<v Speaker 1>be familiar, and Matt, I don't know if you are.

0:41:48.719 --> 0:41:51.480
<v Speaker 2>What's the name of it again, Sea Beast, Sea Beast.

0:41:51.600 --> 0:41:56.360
<v Speaker 1>So it's on Netflix cartoon it's animation. Yeah, it's animation,

0:41:56.680 --> 0:41:59.360
<v Speaker 1>So it's kind of like a piority sort of theme,

0:42:00.200 --> 0:42:02.440
<v Speaker 1>but like, look, you have to go and watch it

0:42:02.480 --> 0:42:05.600
<v Speaker 1>because my kids love it. It's one of those shows

0:42:05.600 --> 0:42:08.239
<v Speaker 1>that you put on and they'll just go. You could

0:42:08.239 --> 0:42:10.640
<v Speaker 1>pretty much drive a bus pass them and they haven't noticed.

0:42:10.840 --> 0:42:11.360
<v Speaker 1>It's great.

0:42:11.440 --> 0:42:12.480
<v Speaker 2>I've never heard of it.

0:42:12.480 --> 0:42:14.920
<v Speaker 1>It's really good. And like every time a friend comes over,

0:42:15.040 --> 0:42:16.279
<v Speaker 1>he's one. So the other day I was at a

0:42:16.320 --> 0:42:20.040
<v Speaker 1>mate's house and his parents. My mate's parents live next door,

0:42:20.080 --> 0:42:24.080
<v Speaker 1>and they're what fifty whatever. We're watching Seabe's and I

0:42:24.120 --> 0:42:27.839
<v Speaker 1>haven't seen his parents because of COVID for like three

0:42:27.920 --> 0:42:28.520
<v Speaker 1>or four years.

0:42:28.560 --> 0:42:30.920
<v Speaker 2>Hang on a second, You're like, I'll answer this really quickly,

0:42:31.000 --> 0:42:36.000
<v Speaker 2>and then like I just wanted to I just wanted

0:42:36.000 --> 0:42:39.279
<v Speaker 2>to explain, please please, the action of the.

0:42:41.840 --> 0:42:46.239
<v Speaker 1>So his dad comes over, his dad comes oup. I

0:42:46.239 --> 0:42:48.319
<v Speaker 1>guess gonna get really weird that his dad comes over

0:42:48.719 --> 0:42:50.520
<v Speaker 1>and he was like, hey, hey, you haven't seen you whatever.

0:42:50.800 --> 0:42:53.240
<v Speaker 1>Finally gets to meet my kids, haven't seen him so long,

0:42:53.520 --> 0:42:56.799
<v Speaker 1>and he's just distracted by the CBOs. What's it? I

0:42:56.840 --> 0:42:59.080
<v Speaker 1>was like, it's Seapce. He's like, what's that about? And

0:42:59.120 --> 0:43:01.239
<v Speaker 1>it just sits down. This is like a fifty year

0:43:01.280 --> 0:43:03.239
<v Speaker 1>old man this year or something. He's like, oh yeah,

0:43:04.239 --> 0:43:07.279
<v Speaker 1>and then after like ten or fifteen minutes, he's like,

0:43:08.000 --> 0:43:10.359
<v Speaker 1>all right, I'll see I'll like, I'll see you guys. Later.

0:43:10.719 --> 0:43:12.480
<v Speaker 1>He went out and watched it in the comfort of

0:43:12.520 --> 0:43:15.200
<v Speaker 1>his own home, and I saw it. He came over

0:43:15.280 --> 0:43:17.800
<v Speaker 1>later for a beer and he was like Sea Beast.

0:43:18.080 --> 0:43:21.080
<v Speaker 1>He was like, I just went home to watch Sea Beast.

0:43:21.160 --> 0:43:23.960
<v Speaker 1>Wanted to watch it with my surround sound and the

0:43:23.960 --> 0:43:26.440
<v Speaker 1>whole bit. And I was like, oh, but it's not

0:43:26.480 --> 0:43:28.880
<v Speaker 1>the first time it's happened. Anyone that goes, what's this

0:43:28.960 --> 0:43:30.760
<v Speaker 1>kid watching Sea beats my friend?

0:43:31.120 --> 0:43:32.800
<v Speaker 2>Okay, I gotta jump on it because I'm in the

0:43:32.840 --> 0:43:34.160
<v Speaker 2>bloody slippy train.

0:43:35.160 --> 0:43:36.920
<v Speaker 1>Or you know, blippy shit on someone.

0:43:37.120 --> 0:43:37.839
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, in the army.

0:43:37.920 --> 0:43:39.719
<v Speaker 1>Yeah yeah, I wasn't in the army, was it or

0:43:39.760 --> 0:43:39.920
<v Speaker 1>was it?

0:43:39.920 --> 0:43:40.840
<v Speaker 2>I thought it was in the When I was in

0:43:40.880 --> 0:43:45.920
<v Speaker 2>the army, I was on his face, not his army

0:43:46.880 --> 0:43:48.920
<v Speaker 2>or Gabby's dollhouse.

0:43:49.760 --> 0:43:53.520
<v Speaker 1>Fucking has that weird guy talking. He's like, well, were you.

0:43:54.320 --> 0:43:57.680
<v Speaker 2>Mike got into these They build these like miniature like

0:43:58.120 --> 0:43:59.840
<v Speaker 2>imagine like a McDonald's, but they make it out of

0:43:59.880 --> 0:44:01.640
<v Speaker 2>like cardboard, like it's a little.

0:44:01.480 --> 0:44:03.959
<v Speaker 1>Like so much weird stuff out there, but they're making

0:44:04.040 --> 0:44:06.640
<v Speaker 1>millions about you to so.

0:44:06.640 --> 0:44:07.839
<v Speaker 2>I need to. I need to. I need to get

0:44:07.840 --> 0:44:11.200
<v Speaker 2>her off that. Otherwise, give Sea Beast to go, I will.

0:44:11.400 --> 0:44:13.279
<v Speaker 1>It might not be fair. Macy loves it.

0:44:13.800 --> 0:44:14.800
<v Speaker 2>Otherwise it's Bluey.

0:44:15.400 --> 0:44:20.880
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Blue is a good one. Shut up Pepper Pig.

0:44:21.480 --> 0:44:24.640
<v Speaker 1>My brother in law hates Pepper Pick gets a lot

0:44:24.640 --> 0:44:27.920
<v Speaker 1>of honey. Pepper picks a bitch, And I'm like, people

0:44:27.960 --> 0:44:28.520
<v Speaker 1>don't like her.

0:44:28.760 --> 0:44:32.160
<v Speaker 2>That's a pig they find they find it really rude. Yeah,

0:44:32.160 --> 0:44:35.080
<v Speaker 2>you find it really like obnoxious, rude to the parents

0:44:35.520 --> 0:44:38.279
<v Speaker 2>and apparently teach bad habits to young kids. A lot

0:44:38.320 --> 0:44:41.520
<v Speaker 2>of hate on on Pepper Pig. Yeah, I don't see

0:44:41.520 --> 0:44:42.040
<v Speaker 2>it myself.

0:44:42.280 --> 0:44:43.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm fine.

0:44:43.480 --> 0:44:45.120
<v Speaker 2>I think I think people have been a little bit harsh,

0:44:45.760 --> 0:44:47.120
<v Speaker 2>but good watch out.

0:44:47.520 --> 0:44:51.799
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so you guys just look out for it, any

0:44:51.840 --> 0:44:55.360
<v Speaker 1>bitchiness from that tiny little cartoon pig. Yeah, you stay

0:44:55.400 --> 0:44:59.600
<v Speaker 1>safe out there and that. No, that is all the

0:44:59.640 --> 0:45:03.040
<v Speaker 1>time we have today. So again, thank you to all

0:45:03.120 --> 0:45:05.840
<v Speaker 1>the doting parents and non parents and even.

0:45:05.640 --> 0:45:06.280
<v Speaker 2>The non parents.

0:45:06.320 --> 0:45:08.360
<v Speaker 1>I mean, we can't heaps of people saying to me,

0:45:08.600 --> 0:45:11.680
<v Speaker 1>I don't even have fucking kids. I'm like, Okay, yeah,

0:45:11.680 --> 0:45:14.040
<v Speaker 1>it doesn't matter, thank you, I guess. But like also,

0:45:14.239 --> 0:45:15.760
<v Speaker 1>like what that say about.

0:45:15.560 --> 0:45:18.520
<v Speaker 2>I mean it does about us. It does sound very arrogant, But.

0:45:18.920 --> 0:45:20.719
<v Speaker 1>I then we appeal to the masses.

0:45:21.080 --> 0:45:23.839
<v Speaker 2>Well said, We are getting a lot of people right

0:45:23.880 --> 0:45:25.800
<v Speaker 2>now because we always put the call out and say

0:45:26.160 --> 0:45:28.040
<v Speaker 2>every now and then, maybe like once a month. I think,

0:45:28.160 --> 0:45:30.520
<v Speaker 2>is that kind of the bonus EPs will do with

0:45:30.560 --> 0:45:35.960
<v Speaker 2>the guest everybody? Everyone, like the most number one suggested

0:45:36.040 --> 0:45:36.839
<v Speaker 2>Dad to get on the.

0:45:36.760 --> 0:45:48.439
<v Speaker 1>Podcast, Donald Trump, No, No, Blake might be a little bit. Yeah, look,

0:45:48.760 --> 0:45:51.799
<v Speaker 1>Hamish Blake come up a lot. So we're working on

0:45:51.840 --> 0:45:53.200
<v Speaker 1>fel free to DM here.

0:45:53.239 --> 0:45:56.640
<v Speaker 2>We are working on it. We have a contact that

0:45:56.680 --> 0:45:57.520
<v Speaker 2>we have harassed.

0:45:57.719 --> 0:46:00.000
<v Speaker 1>He's got a couple of cleaners that we have harassed.

0:46:00.360 --> 0:46:02.359
<v Speaker 1>Matt and I now own a cleaning company.

0:46:02.600 --> 0:46:05.040
<v Speaker 2>And we're doing our best to Infiltrateor's house.

0:46:05.400 --> 0:46:06.239
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, we're getting there.

0:46:06.360 --> 0:46:08.399
<v Speaker 2>But we do have a bonus out. Maybe not next week,

0:46:08.440 --> 0:46:10.000
<v Speaker 2>the week after. He's a footy player.

0:46:10.040 --> 0:46:11.520
<v Speaker 1>I've got a couple of good ones coming up.

0:46:11.600 --> 0:46:16.200
<v Speaker 2>We'll tease, we won't say it is a mystery.

0:46:16.719 --> 0:46:22.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's Jared Hayne, straight from prisons.

0:46:24.920 --> 0:46:29.800
<v Speaker 2>Our's Long Bay. But if you have enjoyed this episode

0:46:29.880 --> 0:46:33.040
<v Speaker 2>or any episode, we would absolutely love it more than

0:46:33.080 --> 0:46:35.239
<v Speaker 2>anything else, more than I love my children. If you

0:46:35.280 --> 0:46:39.120
<v Speaker 2>would give us a review, don't don't give us a

0:46:39.160 --> 0:46:42.560
<v Speaker 2>private DM saying we like the podcast, because that's all

0:46:42.600 --> 0:46:45.480
<v Speaker 2>of the channels we've got to make a public Also

0:46:45.520 --> 0:46:48.440
<v Speaker 2>give us a follow both on two Dotting Dads on

0:46:48.480 --> 0:46:51.320
<v Speaker 2>Instagram and also on Apple podcast. You got to follow

0:46:51.320 --> 0:46:54.440
<v Speaker 2>it so that episode gets right injected into your inbox

0:46:54.480 --> 0:46:57.319
<v Speaker 2>every week on a Wednesday morning. And ash on that

0:46:57.440 --> 0:46:59.640
<v Speaker 2>note is some new beginnings.

0:46:59.160 --> 0:47:01.800
<v Speaker 1>New beginnings. Thank you guys for listening. Appreciate it.

0:47:01.880 --> 0:47:13.560
<v Speaker 2>Cheers. Two Doting Dads. Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of

0:47:13.600 --> 0:47:17.680
<v Speaker 2>country throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.

0:47:17.920 --> 0:47:20.480
<v Speaker 1>We pay our respects to their elders past and present

0:47:20.520 --> 0:47:23.600
<v Speaker 1>and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander

0:47:23.640 --> 0:47:27.279
<v Speaker 1>peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land