Speaker 1: My paranoia is now over.
Speaker 2: So yeah, it sounds lovely, sounds great. Is that charging?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm going to leave that in the things, a
Speaker 3: little travel charge. You never know, we could be out
Speaker 3: on the road sucking dick for money and we need
Speaker 3: to charge your phones.
Speaker 2: Very likely, very likely, things are going. Yeah, what heart
Speaker 2: rate do you think you get up to? Sucking dick?
Speaker 1: One hundred and eighty.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to two Doating Dads. I can't even remember
Speaker 2: the opening.
Speaker 1: That's what she said.
Speaker 3: I'm Maddie Jay and I'm Ash.
Speaker 2: This is a podcast that's all about parenting. It's the good, the.
Speaker 3: Bad, and the relatable.
Speaker 2: And if you have come winning any type of advice,
Speaker 2: I have to tell you that unfortunately we are not
Speaker 2: the podcast for you.
Speaker 1: Another year full of zero advice.
Speaker 3: It does feel I don't know what to do with
Speaker 3: my hands. Were running on a treadmill and you're like,
Speaker 3: what do I.
Speaker 1: Do in my hands?
Speaker 2: Up?
Speaker 1: Put in my pockets?
Speaker 3: I was like before I was like banging away on
Speaker 3: the desk and I was like, should hate that. I've
Speaker 3: better stopped doing that.
Speaker 1: But here we are.
Speaker 2: It's just it's weird to spend just more time with you.
Speaker 2: We had a nice little break.
Speaker 1: Well, you did ignore me for two weeks.
Speaker 3: I knew you were going to because it's you wanted
Speaker 3: to switch off and over had enough of him. No,
Speaker 3: I didn't. You didn't message me.
Speaker 1: I did.
Speaker 3: I didn't. I missed it, mate, I missed Somebody put
Speaker 3: me on mute in the text.
Speaker 1: It's okay.
Speaker 3: We caught up once we did.
Speaker 2: We went to the cricket. Yes, and that was lovely.
Speaker 2: That was a beautiful. It was a really nice day.
Speaker 2: Although I'll be honest, I'm going to say it. I'm
Speaker 2: not afraid to say it. I missed you.
Speaker 1: Yes, I missed you too.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Okay, now that's over.
Speaker 3: Let's move on to more important news. Matthew and we
Speaker 3: do have an announcement. Just kick this year off with
Speaker 3: the I don't know if that to make the cut,
Speaker 3: but kick it off the.
Speaker 2: One listening right now on the treadmill at the gym.
Speaker 2: What the flipping off the treadmill ash belting through their earbuds.
Speaker 1: Sorry about that. I did move out of the way
Speaker 1: a little bit.
Speaker 2: So Yeah, we do have an exciting announcement to make.
Speaker 2: We have a very close friend of the pod who
Speaker 2: is going to be joining us for a long time.
Speaker 2: I hope this is going to be the start of
Speaker 2: something very beautiful. We are, of course, talking about a
Speaker 2: new partner of the podcast, and this, to me is
Speaker 2: a dream partnership.
Speaker 3: It's a tasty one, is crispy, it is.
Speaker 2: Beautiful, and I couldn't be more excited to say that
Speaker 2: we are now in the company of Stone and Wood.
Speaker 3: Yes, Stone and Wood. Cheers, Cheers to the new partner
Speaker 3: of the show.
Speaker 2: Cheers to ask, cheers the Stone Wood.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, So we are drinking the Pacific Hour, which
Speaker 3: is the flagship in the portfolio. They have a number
Speaker 3: of other lovely drops. Matthew, I don't know if you've
Speaker 3: got a chance to try their lagers, which is easy drinking,
Speaker 3: of course.
Speaker 2: No, I've just been sitting on the Pacific Ale.
Speaker 3: They've also got a Cloudy Paler which is delicious, along
Speaker 3: with the Hazy Power, which I'm also a big fan of,
Speaker 3: and they do other clouds. I believe they've got one
Speaker 3: infused with mango that's about to come out as well.
Speaker 3: So they do have something for every taste bud, every occasion,
Speaker 3: every occasion and every taste bud.
Speaker 2: But ash the most exciting part about this partnership is
Speaker 2: what we get to offer you guys, the listeners, because
Speaker 2: absolute would be very rude of us Ash to sit
Speaker 2: here enjoy a beverage and not offer it out to
Speaker 2: those people who are listening.
Speaker 1: I'm listening. I'm all over there.
Speaker 2: So I thought we would do a competition, and it's
Speaker 2: for a year's worth of beer.
Speaker 1: Shut up.
Speaker 2: So how that's going to work is it's a case
Speaker 2: a month, okay of any beer that you want from
Speaker 2: the Red portfolio. Could be the Hazy, it could be.
Speaker 3: The options are endless.
Speaker 2: Could be the larger, could be the pacific Ale. And
Speaker 2: the way that this is going to work is that
Speaker 2: we're going to have a post on two doting dads.
Speaker 2: All you have to do is be following us, following
Speaker 2: Stone and Wood, comment who you would like.
Speaker 3: To share a beer with, and we will pick someone.
Speaker 3: And we're going to pick someone. Oh amazing.
Speaker 1: So that's twelve months.
Speaker 2: Twelve cases.
Speaker 3: So all year you're going to get twelve cases of
Speaker 3: Stone and Wood and think of the savings.
Speaker 2: It's going to get delivered directly to your door. Oh
Speaker 2: maybe by me and Ash. We're not sure. It depends
Speaker 2: where you let me. It depends if you committed to that,
Speaker 2: tesus apply.
Speaker 1: There will be teas.
Speaker 3: And teas of course, and you have to be over
Speaker 3: eighteen to enter, of course enter.
Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely, I doubt there's anyone under the age of
Speaker 2: eighteen listening to the podcast.
Speaker 1: Are you doing?
Speaker 2: Sorry about that?
Speaker 3: But yeah, once she used to that Stone and Wood beautiful.
Speaker 1: Thank you guys, thank you Stone and Wood.
Speaker 2: Did you go away?
Speaker 1: No? Stay? I stayed put, stay put. Had a lot of.
Speaker 3: Family come to me, which I hated. Sorry, mum, no, no, no, yeah,
Speaker 3: I had like family came to Sydney.
Speaker 1: We spent a lot. We did spend a lot of
Speaker 1: time with family.
Speaker 3: We didn't necessarily go anywhere but Christmas with families, Christmas Day,
Speaker 3: Christmas Day a combination between my grandmother's and my father
Speaker 3: in law's house. So morning at my NaN's. Yep, I
Speaker 3: gave her a calendar. She's very early about that. Then
Speaker 3: spoon collection, nan, oh, spoon collection. N that's the tip
Speaker 3: of the iceberg, my friend, Oh my god, you should
Speaker 3: see how many spoons this week?
Speaker 2: And she always collected spoons.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she loves it. And we used to always get
Speaker 3: her a spoon anywhere we went somewhere. Her house is
Speaker 3: also a shrine to Elvis.
Speaker 2: Elvis and spoons, so she loves it. What does she
Speaker 2: like about a spoon? Is it just is that like
Speaker 2: a what's not to.
Speaker 1: Like about a spoon?
Speaker 3: Well said?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I've never asked, but there's always an ongoing joke about it.
Speaker 1: When she dies, who gets the spoons?
Speaker 2: Do you know where you're at in the will?
Speaker 3: Are you what.
Speaker 2: Percentage you're getting?
Speaker 1: Hopefully zero? I don't want those spoons.
Speaker 2: No, they're beautiful.
Speaker 3: I want the ones back Eye gave her. But oh,
Speaker 3: my grandmother, she's eighty seven. She just turned eighty seven
Speaker 3: on the Wilks hand. By the way, stop trying to
Speaker 3: get with my grandmother. Eighty seven on Sunday, just got
Speaker 3: so Happy birthday to Nan. Big fan of the show,
Speaker 3: big fan of the calendar. Is her name again, Olive
Speaker 3: Olive Ah? Yes, beautiful names like Olive Oil. Big fan
Speaker 3: of the show loves the calendar very much. The Seniors
Speaker 3: Club also love that calendar very very much. Where she
Speaker 3: put it, she took it down for like a show
Speaker 3: and tell. It's not funny when kindergarten they have show
Speaker 3: and tell. Then when you get old enough, you also
Speaker 3: full circle full circle. Yeah, so she took it down
Speaker 3: there and much to think about. But on my lovely grandmother,
Speaker 3: she obviously born in a very different generation.
Speaker 2: Does she understand what a pod?
Speaker 1: I don't want to know.
Speaker 3: I don't want to that's no idea, no idea, Like
Speaker 3: she just thinks it's radio and then every now and
Speaker 3: then I'm on the TV. She's like confused anyway. But
Speaker 3: she's very switched on. But she also is from a
Speaker 3: different generation. And as we know generations that have gone past,
Speaker 3: things have changed. Things you can say, have changed, and
Speaker 3: we all know that. You know, back then there was
Speaker 3: a different there's different terms for things, all sorts of things.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to be crassy, but also when you
Speaker 2: get to I think once you're over the age of seventy,
Speaker 2: you just don't give a shit anymore. That too, and
Speaker 2: you just like whatever comes into your mind. You say, Yeah,
Speaker 2: was she offensive to you? Was she offensive to me?
Speaker 3: She wasn't offensive. She was confused.
Speaker 1: So my parents came down.
Speaker 3: They stayed at the caravan park near my place, and
Speaker 3: they've got this big water park in the caravan with park,
Speaker 3: which is great. Any caravan parks want to sponsor the show,
Speaker 3: please get in touch with you. So I took Oscar
Speaker 3: down there, and my sister took my niece down there.
Speaker 3: Nan was staying with them for the day. It's a
Speaker 3: cool little family out into so the kids can have
Speaker 3: a plane of thing. What you would usually say to
Speaker 3: a child when they look cute in something is oh,
Speaker 3: you look cute in something for some reason?
Speaker 2: What say why?
Speaker 3: Nan said, oh, gee, you look sexy in those swimmers? Yeah, olive,
Speaker 3: four year old. It's a four year old. And we're like, Nan,
Speaker 3: you can't say that. And then she was like why not?
Speaker 3: Why can't I say that? Because it's I don't know,
Speaker 3: against the law. Also, just in.
Speaker 2: New name added to Epstein Island Olive.
Speaker 3: How did he respond? Did what Oscar say?
Speaker 1: Was he like he didn't know.
Speaker 3: We were like, you can't say that, so red hot,
Speaker 3: I'm like, Nan, you're going to get in trouble, We're
Speaker 3: gonna get locked up.
Speaker 1: You can't say that sort of stuff.
Speaker 2: Did she respond in an understanding way?
Speaker 3: Well, she like, shut up, I can say what I wanted. No,
Speaker 3: she was she was like, oh, wasn't sure, but let's
Speaker 3: hope it doesn't come out of her mouth again.
Speaker 1: Because it was also very awkward.
Speaker 2: She's at the park.
Speaker 3: Can little girl a sexy kid? That as looks great.
Speaker 3: We're about to get in trouble just from saying that.
Speaker 3: So let's move on from that.
Speaker 2: Any senior citizens, we love you listening in. Yeah, cute, cute, beautiful.
Speaker 3: Cute, beautiful, handsome of it's a boy lovely. Oh yeah,
Speaker 3: I think that's appropriate. Sexy, hot, not so dts spicy,
Speaker 3: none of that, please, no, not for the kids, Not
Speaker 3: for the kids. DTF if you if that, if that
Speaker 3: kind of vocabular wow into your mind, just know it's wrong.
Speaker 1: How was your Christmas?
Speaker 2: Well, I know what we joked about it last year,
Speaker 2: the fact that I was morphing into you. You know,
Speaker 2: you may you may know now you'll see this video
Speaker 2: on socials. I don't have a mustache.
Speaker 1: You don't.
Speaker 2: Pre Christmas, I had the mustache, had it right up
Speaker 2: until glorious last week or January. I started wearing hats,
Speaker 2: got tattoos. People were saying that my laugh was similar
Speaker 2: to yours, ash that we would both throw the head
Speaker 2: back and cackle. And another thing happened that made me
Speaker 2: realize that I'm actually really morphing into you.
Speaker 1: This is why you shaved it off. You're just.
Speaker 3: I got to break the cycle.
Speaker 1: What happened to you?
Speaker 3: Gott to hammer it.
Speaker 2: I found myself hating Christmas.
Speaker 3: Oh, welcome to the club, my friend. Yeah, sorry Santa.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I was always one to be very positive.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: I think I recall saying that it was the best
Speaker 2: time of the year.
Speaker 3: It's the happiest and best time for you.
Speaker 1: Shut the fuck up?
Speaker 3: Do you know?
Speaker 2: It's not for those people that are hosting Christmas at
Speaker 2: their house and then in addition to that also looking
Speaker 2: after the food as well. That double responsibility sucks.
Speaker 1: So no one had to bring anything. No, well people
Speaker 1: do anyway.
Speaker 2: Issue is I don't think bring things that don't go.
Speaker 2: I don't want to put this on my brothers, no
Speaker 2: do it, but I will. They don't listen to the show.
Speaker 1: So Mum listens and she'll tell them.
Speaker 2: She'll keep that under wrap. So I'll say, has anyone
Speaker 2: listened to Matt's recent episode? And she goes, yeaheah, was just.
Speaker 3: They didn't say anything bad about you at all, but
Speaker 3: praise for you.
Speaker 2: Boys, And I'm like, they fucking suck. Issue is they
Speaker 2: come down. My brothers, three of them are in Queensland.
Speaker 2: They come down to Sydney and so you know, they
Speaker 2: don't have access to a car to drive to the
Speaker 2: shops to pick up ingredients, that don't have a kitchen,
Speaker 2: and you know they're staying in a little apartment so
Speaker 2: they can't.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: I'm just like, don't worry.
Speaker 1: Just bring her a halfway house eventually.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just bring a good attitude, maybe a present for
Speaker 2: the kids and some alcohol and that's all I need.
Speaker 2: And so Laura and I don't call my kids sexy.
Speaker 2: It was very stressful ash And also we won that
Speaker 2: RSL competition.
Speaker 1: The ham.
Speaker 3: We won the hand and the pork.
Speaker 2: Oh god, we want too. Yeah, and the pork was
Speaker 2: this big hunk of like it was a massive hunk
Speaker 2: and I didn't need it.
Speaker 3: Didn't need it.
Speaker 2: We had the seafood, we had the ham. But then
Speaker 2: Laura was like, hey, I'll do a roast loin of
Speaker 2: pork beautiful, which we've never done before. You know, said
Speaker 2: like Laura's researching the morning off. We then had the
Speaker 2: pork in the oven like basting it and trying to
Speaker 2: look you know, it's actually we had to salt it
Speaker 2: to get the crackling. It's just very stressful. And then
Speaker 2: like everyone's here having that responsibility. I was like, I
Speaker 2: just can't wait for everyone to leave.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, get the hell out of my asse.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like, don't overstay, you welcome, don't get in my
Speaker 3: fucking way and shut the fuck up. Yeah. So I
Speaker 3: was You're meant to be festive, but the thing is
Speaker 3: the pressure of being festive makes you grouchy.
Speaker 2: Absolute absolutely. And then we didn't go anywhere for the
Speaker 2: Christmas break. We stayed here, and I think the most
Speaker 2: enjoyable time for me was like after New.
Speaker 1: Year's whenever one left.
Speaker 2: The beginning literally was the beginning of Yeah, the year
Speaker 2: when yeah, like no presence, You're not having to like
Speaker 2: cater to all the family. And I was like, oh
Speaker 2: my god. I looked in the mirror one morning and
Speaker 2: I looked at myself and I'm like, I am Ash Wicks.
Speaker 2: Oh oh my god.
Speaker 3: Not only do I look like him, I'm like him
Speaker 3: feel like him.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was. I was a bit of a Christmas grouch.
Speaker 3: So you've gone for a full restart of your life. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you'rekno going to mop into me. I'm resetting. You can't stop,
Speaker 3: You can't stop what's already started though, what about Okay,
Speaker 3: like back on Christmas really quickly, did your kids get
Speaker 3: any presents that you thought, why the fuck would make
Speaker 3: someone buy this for my kid?
Speaker 2: No, most of the toys were pretty good. Laura put
Speaker 2: on a pretty good spread with.
Speaker 3: The girls toy wise.
Speaker 1: They got in the last minute effort like that.
Speaker 2: You know, even you know how it is when we
Speaker 2: got all the toys sorted. We go into the last
Speaker 2: few days leading up to Christmas with the pressure taking
Speaker 2: off our shoulders about worrying about gifts, and then Marley
Speaker 2: would be like, actually, you know what I want. I
Speaker 2: want a Gabby dollhouse doll and we're like shit, and
Speaker 2: then Laura would run back to Kmart and get that sorted.
Speaker 2: The gift that they liked the most was the cheapest one,
Speaker 2: which was a lip gloss, like of everything, of everything
Speaker 2: we gave the girls, like once they were all opened
Speaker 2: up all the presents, yeah, it was the lip gloss
Speaker 2: that they like the most, which is like a couple
Speaker 2: of dollars.
Speaker 1: No, I can't find any of the toys that we got.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, they're like, I know, like I got oscar,
Speaker 3: a remote control car like a hobby.
Speaker 1: It's not a hobby grade one, but it's like close.
Speaker 3: It's like eight year old to class, and I was like, okay,
Speaker 3: what's the worst going to happen?
Speaker 1: Straight away? Crashed it, broke it, threw it out straight away.
Speaker 3: That's just Christmas. But also like aunties and uncles and grandparents,
Speaker 3: they always seem to give like a present and then
Speaker 3: a little chocolate with it, and they're more interested in
Speaker 3: the little chocolate. Yeah. I found myself just been going, no,
Speaker 3: look at the big picture here, look what you've been giving.
Speaker 1: They're like, oh that. It's like, oh my gosh, come
Speaker 1: on man.
Speaker 2: The only gift that was a bit of a fail
Speaker 2: was it was from Laura, the gift of love. Oh hello,
Speaker 2: soggy doggie.
Speaker 1: Soggy doggy. Soggy doggy sounds like a sex position. Looks
Speaker 1: have you ever tried this soggy doggie?
Speaker 3: It looks fun, doesn't it. Look at him?
Speaker 2: Look at him, soggy doggy there. Look how happy he looks.
Speaker 2: And the kids are having a.
Speaker 3: Great time as well.
Speaker 1: It's in French.
Speaker 2: It's yeah, English and French. Apparently the French love a
Speaker 2: soggy doggie.
Speaker 1: We all, I thought they'd like it more froggy style.
Speaker 1: Soggy Doggy Style.
Speaker 2: Two million units sold around the world, so that you
Speaker 2: know what, So just keep in mind that's what soggy
Speaker 2: Doggy looks like.
Speaker 3: One of the box.
Speaker 1: I think.
Speaker 3: Look, products that put their achievements on the box, we
Speaker 3: get it.
Speaker 1: Don't be a wanker. Don't be a wanker.
Speaker 2: This is soggy Doggie.
Speaker 1: Hang on a second, get that box back up.
Speaker 3: Look how big that is?
Speaker 1: What's the deal with the box being so big?
Speaker 3: And well do you fill the doggie up or something?
Speaker 1: Do you pack it out?
Speaker 2: This is that that soggy doggie?
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: And keeping in mind, you know I had to build that.
Speaker 3: It doesn't look like much, but I thought that that
Speaker 3: was the at home bathtub and that's a big soggy doggie.
Speaker 2: That's like the way it works. You meant to roll
Speaker 2: the dice and then it's build as being the like
Speaker 2: gateway board game for kids. You know, you don't want
Speaker 2: to go straight into Monopoly. You want to go with
Speaker 2: Soggy Doggy first, and then from there you build into
Speaker 2: other games. It's really easy, it's fun. And you meant
Speaker 2: to roll the dice and then you push the handles
Speaker 2: and there's a like a tap thing that's missing, but
Speaker 2: with every roll of the dice, it squirts some water
Speaker 2: and then.
Speaker 3: You don't know what it's going to happen.
Speaker 2: Soggy Doggie starts to shake it and that's it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, soggy Doggy, you're a disappointment.
Speaker 2: The kids. We played it and the kids were like,
Speaker 2: is that it?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: That sucks, and I was like, Laura.
Speaker 3: But then you get to wash the real dog. So
Speaker 3: that was the only one which didn't really hit the mark.
Speaker 2: Do you want to.
Speaker 1: Fucking know it?
Speaker 3: For the box?
Speaker 1: I hate them everything about that marketing on that box.
Speaker 1: Hate it. Look at it anyway, good one.
Speaker 3: Well you got snakes and ladders for Oscar meltdown because
Speaker 3: he just wanted to be on the snakes all the
Speaker 3: time because they're cooler anyway. But in terms of shit gifts, miss,
Speaker 3: look what I'm gonna talk about now is it's not
Speaker 3: a shit gift.
Speaker 1: It's I kind of feel like my mother in law
Speaker 1: hates me.
Speaker 2: I'm sure she does.
Speaker 1: I'm sure she does.
Speaker 2: Can you blame her?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: What she has gotten my kids is I don't know
Speaker 3: if you saw on my Instagram, it's a double microphone
Speaker 3: carry yoka machine that's wireless, yeah, that you charge and
Speaker 3: can take anywhere. Why would you get me that? Why
Speaker 3: would you get my kids that? I was like, yay, why.
Speaker 2: I've made the mistake of buying that for Maley for
Speaker 2: a birthday because I was like, she loves concerts, it
Speaker 2: would be great fun. The fun for us last for
Speaker 2: about three minutes, and then you just got a kid
Speaker 2: with a microph it yeah, just going.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty sure. There was one moment that
Speaker 3: was really cute and I thought, oh, okay, because you
Speaker 3: can turn it up and down. But when you realize
Speaker 3: that volume does not affect Toddler's screaming into things. It's
Speaker 3: just the same volume all the time. Oscar was like,
Speaker 3: I'm still standing you did he hear Mazie.
Speaker 1: Like in the corner go ah?
Speaker 3: And I was like, that's pretty cute. But then I
Speaker 3: think I went out to help clean up Christmas lunch,
Speaker 3: walk back inside and all I hear is.
Speaker 1: Going oh bye bye bye bah bah bah but.
Speaker 3: The top of his luck And I'm like.
Speaker 2: What is it about microphones that just removes the ability
Speaker 2: for kids to make any words?
Speaker 3: Like they just vocabulary on the kid is outstanding. Do
Speaker 3: you put a microphone in front of the hes I'm like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, what the fuck? So I've hidden it,
Speaker 3: You've got it, and I've got a plan. I've got
Speaker 3: a plan to sneak it into my mother in law's
Speaker 3: house so when the kids go, so if she's listening,
Speaker 3: which she mon't be, would she listens to this, I'm
Speaker 3: going to sneak it in, and then before I drop
Speaker 3: the kids off there for like a little play.
Speaker 1: I'm going to be like, do you know she's.
Speaker 2: Got the speaker.
Speaker 3: She got the speaker and it's charged, and it's sitting
Speaker 3: there waiting for you to annoy the fuck out of
Speaker 3: her with it.
Speaker 2: And here's the line of cocaine. Lock the door.
Speaker 3: So your problem now?
Speaker 1: Oh absolutely.
Speaker 3: So that was really the shittest thing we got other
Speaker 3: than the remote control card, which was Oscar just destroyed
Speaker 3: it immediately.
Speaker 2: Question for you, what happened with your daycare? Were they back?
Speaker 2: They are back open now because.
Speaker 3: She goes to two Yeah, well here's one because it's
Speaker 3: a preschool closed, but he goes to the other one.
Speaker 1: They were open the whole time.
Speaker 3: When did you send him back in a daycare? I
Speaker 3: think the week they both went one day in the
Speaker 3: middle of the Christmas Yeah, break because we just had
Speaker 3: enough of them.
Speaker 1: Parenting is painful, dude.
Speaker 2: You need a break as well. Also after Christmas, that
Speaker 2: is such a.
Speaker 3: It's really good to get the house in order.
Speaker 2: AKA spoken on the couch, spoken like in his middle age,
Speaker 2: and it was just nice and we got someway.
Speaker 3: It was nice to get the house back in working order,
Speaker 3: like a finally tuned machine. They walk back in and
Speaker 3: tornado the fuck out of it.
Speaker 2: I did feel a bit guilty on the twenty seventh
Speaker 2: where Maley and Lola, who've just had like an amazing
Speaker 2: couple of days nothing but presents. Also in the lead
Speaker 2: up to Christmas, we had some friends drop in and say, oh,
Speaker 2: here's a gift for Marley and Lola and they and
Speaker 2: the friends were like, let the moment it now, because
Speaker 2: they want to see the reaction of the gifts.
Speaker 1: They're just getting weeks worth like his presence.
Speaker 2: They come up the back of that and they wake
Speaker 2: up on the twenty seventh and they come down the stairs.
Speaker 1: And you burnt the Christmas tree down literally.
Speaker 3: And then you're like.
Speaker 2: Take that, and they're like, what presents have we got?
Speaker 2: Today and I'm like, you're going.
Speaker 3: To dayre yeah, reality check.
Speaker 2: They were so confused and it was like a half day,
Speaker 2: like a ten thirty to three o'clock.
Speaker 3: It's just like a six am to six pm situation.
Speaker 3: And there was like four kids there was.
Speaker 1: I didn't feel bad at all. I should have. I
Speaker 1: should have felt horrible. And I was like, none of
Speaker 1: my friends are here, am I.
Speaker 3: I'm like, but you're here and you're your own friend.
Speaker 3: Bye out the door.
Speaker 2: I felt really guilty, felt really good, I know, but
Speaker 2: it was. It was so nice. So the first time
Speaker 2: in forever where Laura and I like went to the
Speaker 2: beach by ourselves and we're like.
Speaker 3: You need a break too, and like a message to
Speaker 3: the parents out there, give yourself a break. I always
Speaker 3: say that and then get it right back to it.
Speaker 2: Well then after that, after that ordeal, we then had
Speaker 2: another ordeal to deal.
Speaker 1: With or deal to deal with.
Speaker 2: Yes, laid on me very tongue twisty yeah sentence. We
Speaker 2: had decided more so Laura. I don't want to throw
Speaker 2: Laura under the busket because she's very proactive with these
Speaker 2: types of decisions, which is a great thing. So she
Speaker 2: just makes them without you, well she did. I think
Speaker 2: she tells you she had to be fair. She had
Speaker 2: flagged it with me, and I was kind of like, yeah, whatever.
Speaker 2: We decided to remove the dummies. We've talked about it
Speaker 2: in the last episode where we said leading up to Christmas,
Speaker 2: we're going to give the dummies to Santa It.
Speaker 1: Do recall it was hell. It was hell then and
Speaker 1: that was weeks ago.
Speaker 2: She came good for a couple of days.
Speaker 1: When all the presents were getting dished out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was distracting it. And then at the same time,
Speaker 2: Laura said, I'd like to have Marley and Lola in
Speaker 2: the same room and all the time or yeah, like permanently,
Speaker 2: so that share rooms. Upstairs, we're going to have a
Speaker 2: room free and now Marley and Lola to be the
Speaker 2: free room are going to be well just in case,
Speaker 2: like you know, Laura's mum comes from Willongong and she's
Speaker 2: got somewhere to stay.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well that's what I said.
Speaker 2: Yeah, very kinds soggy doggy.
Speaker 1: Soggy doggie be a pillow.
Speaker 2: So we decided we put the cot in with the
Speaker 2: single bed with Marley. They're now sharing a room and
Speaker 2: up until this point our kids are sleeping pretty well.
Speaker 2: But from this point on, once the dummies have been removed,
Speaker 2: it is brutal.
Speaker 3: It has been.
Speaker 2: The nightly routine is like, we'll have dinner at six o'clock.
Speaker 3: She just not said it, like what's what will you
Speaker 3: explain to me?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 3: So?
Speaker 1: What does that look like?
Speaker 2: So just for so long, her whole entire life to
Speaker 2: soothe dummy, dummy that's been taken away. She now has
Speaker 2: no idea, like she's.
Speaker 3: Just what to do with the s Yeah, she's just
Speaker 3: like running on the treadmill all over again.
Speaker 2: Las She's like, what do these things do? So the
Speaker 2: nighttime routine is we'll have dinner at six o'clock, op
Speaker 2: in the bar, six thirty seven o'clock, we'll read a book,
Speaker 2: we'll go to bed, and then Laula will scream for
Speaker 2: probably like an hour and a half.
Speaker 1: In the same room as Marley.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh yeah, just we'll like we'll flip out, and
Speaker 2: she then will say just everything possible to delay going
Speaker 2: to bed. So she's like, I need to go to
Speaker 2: toilet again. I want another book, I want a different blanket,
Speaker 2: I want a different toy. And we tried to give
Speaker 2: her like a comfort toy that hasn't worked. She's now
Speaker 2: keeping Mali awake, so all's like, hey.
Speaker 1: Going not to move her out of the room.
Speaker 3: Well, I think we're now.
Speaker 2: I think we're going to put Lola back into the room,
Speaker 2: which kind of sucks because I have to take the
Speaker 2: cock apart and build it again.
Speaker 1: Doesn't pit it the door?
Speaker 3: Bro sucked in, thank you, So it's I sport for me. Bro,
Speaker 3: I just like sucked in.
Speaker 1: I don't want to. I wouldn't want to do that.
Speaker 2: Also, once we finally get her asleep, she'll wake up
Speaker 2: at about twelve thirty screaming NonStop, looking for comfort. Doesn't
Speaker 2: have anything to comfort her, so she's just like screaming
Speaker 2: until she kind of gets herself tired and goes back
Speaker 2: to sleep. And then in addition to that, she's waking
Speaker 2: up at five am screaming again and then can't get
Speaker 2: back to sleep.
Speaker 1: Just regressed.
Speaker 2: Shit, it hard out ship that top word. That word
Speaker 2: regress puts fear.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, and any parent listening that's got little kids
Speaker 3: the word regress, they're just like spine tingling.
Speaker 1: They're like regress.
Speaker 3: Else when you think you've grown out of regression, it's
Speaker 3: like they're regressing. That's great, well, Oscar and Macie they share,
Speaker 3: but your kids don't fucking like the dummy. They never did, no, no,
Speaker 3: but they do have their comfort things that they need
Speaker 3: and have to have every now, Like Oscar's got this.
Speaker 3: Have you not seen depleted Elmo?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Mate, the guy looks like he's got an eating disorder.
Speaker 3: What's yeah, just they're like, sometimes you just got to
Speaker 3: have a certain book in the bed or whatever, and
Speaker 3: that's fine. But they honestly like hasn't been an issue
Speaker 3: for us. That room they're in quite big. But they
Speaker 3: also like when they go to bed at the same
Speaker 3: time together, which is every night. Now you can hear
Speaker 3: them chatting like in their own little way, which is
Speaker 3: really cute.
Speaker 1: And then every now and then you hear like a
Speaker 1: like a one of them laugh or something like that.
Speaker 3: You're like, yeah, okay, for a certain amount of time,
Speaker 3: it's fine, and then they just conk out.
Speaker 1: I don't know what the deal is.
Speaker 3: But every now and then we'll have a night where
Speaker 3: it's like someone's got to come in with us, mainly
Speaker 3: Oscar because it makes it be a pain of the
Speaker 3: ass because she doesn't listen to anybody. She just does
Speaker 3: her anything, But she's still in a cop so that
Speaker 3: kind of still works. You can't get out. But I've
Speaker 3: got no advice for you because they didn't have the
Speaker 3: issue with the dummy.
Speaker 2: Well, someone someone said, because I posted that video on
Speaker 2: Instagram and people are like, oh, no, you need to
Speaker 2: put vinegar on the dummy.
Speaker 1: So they hate it.
Speaker 2: So they hate it. Or you need to snip the
Speaker 2: dummy sort of the suction. Yeah, which if we did that,
Speaker 2: she'd just be like, what the fuck is this she
Speaker 2: giving me? Yeah, you give me a broken dummy, get
Speaker 2: me another one, because I know there's twenty four in
Speaker 2: the house somewhere.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so then she's got a list of wishes of
Speaker 1: hidden them.
Speaker 2: I said to someone, I'm like, I'm never going to surrender,
Speaker 2: like we're going to perseverere.
Speaker 1: That's good, you got to go. That's the right way,
Speaker 1: it's the right.
Speaker 3: But it's it's short term pain, long term gain.
Speaker 2: It's easy for you to fucking say that because I
Speaker 2: have surrendered.
Speaker 1: Ash, Oh, you've given up.
Speaker 2: I gave it back the dummy.
Speaker 3: You did not when last night last night and she
Speaker 3: slept right through Ah, yeah, she got this.
Speaker 2: This is what she was doing, right, she was like,
Speaker 2: and I went, do you want this? And she went,
Speaker 2: what's that?
Speaker 1: Yes? Please?
Speaker 3: Thank you literally love you.
Speaker 2: YEA dude stopped in her tracks and she went cheers
Speaker 2: in the fell asleep. Within two minutes she was gone.
Speaker 2: She slept into six thirty this morning and I'm like,
Speaker 2: and then daycare as well were like, how is she
Speaker 2: going without the dummy? You know you've done the right
Speaker 2: thing here, and I'm like, oh, yeah, she's going.
Speaker 3: Great, really good.
Speaker 1: Does she do the same at the midday nap?
Speaker 2: Well, they've kind of she's out of the midday nap.
Speaker 2: She's kind of like lost.
Speaker 1: It's not midday napping at all.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but which maybe because she didn't have the dummy.
Speaker 2: So now the fear is that she's going to start
Speaker 2: asking daycare for the dummy, who thinks that I've taken
Speaker 2: it away.
Speaker 3: From her And that's their problem though, isn't it. I
Speaker 3: hope anyway, screams herself asleep there gets here for straighter.
Speaker 2: Some people have said to me they'll give it up
Speaker 2: when they're ready.
Speaker 1: Well, that's also a good way to look at it.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's kind of like you would hate if
Speaker 3: someone took something that you relied on vagina.
Speaker 1: Very different.
Speaker 3: If that was taken away from me, I don't know
Speaker 3: you had one.
Speaker 1: Anyway.
Speaker 3: Anyway, Ah, great news. What's that.
Speaker 1: We have a new segment.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah we do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we do have a new segment. We're just trialing it.
Speaker 1: See how it goes.
Speaker 2: No no, no, no, no no no no no.
Speaker 3: I love it. How you play it?
Speaker 2: You play it like it's no big deal. But we've
Speaker 2: you've got an intro song for this segment, which means
Speaker 2: it's here for at least two months.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 3: Once it's a song, it's locked in.
Speaker 1: Yes, we're calling it Tantrums of the Week.
Speaker 2: Yes, so we ran it last year.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we did it last week last year.
Speaker 3: So you send if you do have a ridiculous tantrum
Speaker 3: that your kid has thrown, we want to hear about it.
Speaker 1: The more ridiculous the better, Like we had last year.
Speaker 3: I think someone their kid went mental because they couldn't
Speaker 3: put the hood of their jumper on.
Speaker 1: But they actually didn't have a hood on the jumper, and.
Speaker 3: The parent had to take a photo and go, look,
Speaker 3: you don't have a hood on this jumper. That was
Speaker 3: really really funny. So the more ridiculous you can d
Speaker 3: m us or you can send us. Look, there's no
Speaker 3: prizes this time unless someone picks this segment up, which
Speaker 3: if you're listening, who can we get I don't know,
Speaker 3: we'll see. But anyway, let's go into the new intro song.
Speaker 4: Let's go.
Speaker 1: Right, man, I've got one for you really quick.
Speaker 2: Please, Actually, before you do that, can I just tell
Speaker 2: you about a little tantrum that we had this morning.
Speaker 2: Also off the back of Lola just hating life of
Speaker 2: no dummy. This morning, I put her in the car
Speaker 2: Laura was taking her to daycare, and she was like,
Speaker 2: I want mom to close the car door. Laura's already
Speaker 2: in the driver's seat, engine's on, ready to go.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, I'm going to close the door, and
Speaker 2: she's like, I want mom to do it. No, I'm
Speaker 2: closing the door. And she was like, oh, said I
Speaker 2: want to shut the door. And Laura said, you called
Speaker 2: me after she did drop off and said Lola screamed
Speaker 2: for fifteen minutes over the whole draft, over the fact
Speaker 2: that I shut the car door, not Laura.
Speaker 3: That's painful. That's the sort of stuff I want to hear.
Speaker 3: That's all we want to hear. Yeah, that's great. So
Speaker 3: you're I'm going to go into one that was sent
Speaker 3: to us already.
Speaker 1: This one says my.
Speaker 3: Son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't give him the
Speaker 3: cheese from someone else's trolley. Yeah, that's what I want, quick,
Speaker 3: easy and idiotic reason why the audacity.
Speaker 2: I've got one here, Ash, and it says I changed
Speaker 2: my toddlers nappy and he replied, no, poo gone, poo gone.
Speaker 2: He then proceeded to have a meltdown for twenty minutes
Speaker 2: because the poo was gone.
Speaker 3: Who was gone? Well? I think I know the answer
Speaker 3: to that one. Leave him in the shitty nappy, Sit
Speaker 3: in that big boy. Oh great, stop twenty minutes.
Speaker 2: Minutes, meltdown, meltdown, solid effort.
Speaker 3: If you have one, please send us a DM had
Speaker 3: two dotting dads on the GRAM. On the Gram yep,
Speaker 3: or you can do on a two DD at outlook
Speaker 3: dot com dot a you. Hey, let's finish up with
Speaker 3: a couple of questions.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, would you like me to go first?
Speaker 1: Sure? Laid on me a big man, Ash.
Speaker 3: This one is from Jordan.
Speaker 2: Hey, Jordan, he has messaged in and he's got two kids.
Speaker 2: Lucky Jordan, but he's struggling a little bit.
Speaker 1: Oh that's sad.
Speaker 2: He wants to know. Do you have any advice for
Speaker 2: maintaining your sanity for someone who has two kids kids
Speaker 2: are two weeks old, wells two year old fresh, whilst
Speaker 2: also trying to manage the household as well. No, no, no, yeah,
Speaker 2: the answer is no, that's I don't know.
Speaker 1: Look, it's a tough time.
Speaker 3: Two weeks is young, so you are essentially you've got
Speaker 3: to wrangle the kids. You've got to manage, keep the
Speaker 3: house clean, keep your wife happy, because you'd be fucking tired.
Speaker 1: You're also probably tired.
Speaker 3: I would say if it's a hard you can somehow
Speaker 3: try and in between giving your wife's you know, the
Speaker 3: rest that she needs, find some rest herself.
Speaker 2: Do you know what I find the most helpful, Jordan,
Speaker 2: If you're not wanking right.
Speaker 3: Now, wank more a hand, goes straight to the.
Speaker 2: Bathroom, and I guarantee it'll make you feel just a
Speaker 2: little bit better.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you come up with a smile on your face.
Speaker 2: But that is the hardest time, and also depends on
Speaker 2: how your kids are going. Like if you've got a
Speaker 2: two year old that's struggling with a new sibling in
Speaker 2: addition to a two week old that might not be
Speaker 2: an easy newborn.
Speaker 1: It's a shit show. It is a just yeah, oh.
Speaker 2: My god, the thought of having a third and going
Speaker 2: back to a newborn that's tricky. Like I have flashbacks
Speaker 2: to Lola, who was a tricky baby, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: I just couldn't do it. You've just got to dig
Speaker 2: deep and know that it will get better.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's I think that's pretty solid.
Speaker 2: But also jerk off on and communicate with your partner.
Speaker 3: Yes, I always say this right close to tell me
Speaker 3: grumpy is because you're tired, right, And I've said it before.
Speaker 1: On this podcast.
Speaker 3: Two half rested people, yep, okay, doesn't make one full
Speaker 3: rested person, doesn't.
Speaker 2: There he is there, he is.
Speaker 3: So like I said, let your wife rest and then
Speaker 3: try and find some rest yourself so that you can
Speaker 3: get back on that level, get rid of the grumpies.
Speaker 2: Ash wisdom Wicks. That's what I call you.
Speaker 1: The Wizard.
Speaker 3: That's what they call me this year, the Wizard. All right, man,
Speaker 3: I've got a question for you. This one is from Elliott.
Speaker 3: He says, afternoon, boys, I hope you're both well, not bad,
Speaker 3: not bad.
Speaker 1: I'm a little bit tired now.
Speaker 3: Absolutely love the pod started listening from the beginning as
Speaker 3: my partner was four to five months pregnant.
Speaker 1: Our little girl was born two weeks ago. Another fresh one.
Speaker 2: Oh god, we got all the freshies.
Speaker 3: Just wondering, did either of you find in the first
Speaker 3: few weeks they were more interested in mum rather than you?
Speaker 1: Or does my kid just hate me? Eh?
Speaker 2: Dude, get ready for a life of hate.
Speaker 1: You're a blob, man.
Speaker 3: I always say for the you could be any old
Speaker 3: blob and they're like, unless you're going to start.
Speaker 1: Breastfeeding, bro, you are not important to that child.
Speaker 2: Yeah, does not care about you at all, I will say.
Speaker 3: Though, but they don't have the brain capacity to hate
Speaker 3: at that age.
Speaker 2: No, No, they just want the essentials, i e.
Speaker 1: The boobs, just like we all want.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sorry, Elliott, I find the choice between you and
Speaker 2: my wife's boobs. Sorry, it's hard because you, I think
Speaker 2: when you have Whenmalley was born, it was just like,
Speaker 2: you know, we were both just like gushing over this
Speaker 2: newborn and then Lola came about, and whilst Lola didn't
Speaker 2: want a piece of me, it's nice to have those
Speaker 2: like a bit of bro, time with your firstborn child, Like,
Speaker 2: I think that's such a crucial time to really like
Speaker 2: establish a relationship. But even now, I don't know if
Speaker 2: it's off the back of the whole dummy speaking.
Speaker 1: Your prize possession.
Speaker 2: Well, I didn't even take the dummies off, Lola.
Speaker 1: It was it was you're blamed, Bro.
Speaker 2: She's put the Laura's in her ear being, Like I
Speaker 2: tried to give the dummies.
Speaker 3: Bunch, but Dad said no, He's in charge on me.
Speaker 2: That's why she hates me. But for whatever reason, Lola
Speaker 2: cannot stand this side of me once we're in the house, like,
Speaker 2: hates it when I try and put her in the bath,
Speaker 2: hates it when I try and brush her teeth.
Speaker 1: Just hates everything about it.
Speaker 2: I can't even read her a book. If I try
Speaker 2: and give her a kiss good night, she will palm
Speaker 2: me in the face and be like, what are you doing?
Speaker 2: Only mum can do that?
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Well there you have it, Elliott, your
Speaker 1: kid hates you.
Speaker 2: It happens to everyone.
Speaker 3: It comes and goes, though, because there was times where
Speaker 3: you know, like Oscar and I butt head's like the
Speaker 3: best of them, Like, for God's sake, drives me crazy.
Speaker 3: But then like we go through spells where we're like,
Speaker 3: you know, we love each other so much and it's
Speaker 3: it's obvious, but like, yeah, you go through phases and
Speaker 3: you know that's really early on.
Speaker 1: Don't stand over that kid and go why do you
Speaker 1: hate me? Because that's what you feel like doing?
Speaker 2: Well something like, dude, this morning, I was trying to
Speaker 2: get Laula ready and she's like, oh, mom, to do it.
Speaker 2: And I was like, well, yeah, like you know, fine,
Speaker 2: fuck it. Yeah, that kind of attitude, I understand, that's
Speaker 2: what I had. And I'm like, I don't know if
Speaker 2: I like, I don't know what approach.
Speaker 3: I don't know what my place is in this house anymore.
Speaker 3: It's sucks.
Speaker 2: Sometimes it's nice, except like in the middle of the
Speaker 2: night I mentioned that Lula was waking up at you know,
Speaker 2: three in the morning screaming, and if I step foot
Speaker 2: in that room, she's like, not.
Speaker 3: You, You're all right, I'm back to here, Laura, you're up.
Speaker 3: Except now that's starting to wear pretty thin. Yeah on
Speaker 3: on Laura.
Speaker 2: At the start, I was like, this is great. I
Speaker 2: get to sleep the whole night. No. No, Now I'm like,
Speaker 2: I I wish I could do anything help.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and she hates you, dude, wait for the teenagers.
Speaker 3: Bro going to hate you as well, hate you, then
Speaker 3: hate you, now hate your two weeks Marley still loves me.
Speaker 3: Yeah for now, So Elliott, just go easy on yourself. Mate,
Speaker 3: Maybe come back to us in at the end of
Speaker 3: this year and just let us know how it's going.
Speaker 1: We will.
Speaker 2: But also congrats on the Jordan and Elliott.
Speaker 3: Yes, a couple of newbies for the year or last
Speaker 3: back into last year. Christmas babies, their birthday is going
Speaker 3: to get mixed up with Christmas every year.
Speaker 1: That'll be fine for you.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that's sucked in.
Speaker 4: We sucked in?
Speaker 2: Ain't on that note?
Speaker 1: That's all we have time?
Speaker 2: We should get out of here. Should If you have
Speaker 2: enjoyed this episode, hey, why don't you just maybe send
Speaker 2: it to a friend, to someone out.
Speaker 1: There, a colleague.
Speaker 2: A colleague, Yeah, anyone who comes to your house as
Speaker 2: a visitor would be like, thanks for coming. By the way,
Speaker 2: listen to forty four, season two of Two Doting.
Speaker 3: Dads, Episode one of season two. Not to confuse people, Matthew,
Speaker 3: but also.
Speaker 2: Hey, what are we going to do for fifty to
Speaker 2: celebrate Porgie? I thought you never asked.
Speaker 3: All right, well and that not also.
Speaker 2: Also, if you would be so kind to give us
Speaker 2: a review? Yes, a few words. A couple of stars
Speaker 2: all we ask for makes Ash nigh very happy.
Speaker 1: A couple of who started to beg already week one.
Speaker 2: That's not begging, that's asking.
Speaker 3: If you're on your knees, Matt.
Speaker 2: People drive through Bondai and I have a sign saying
Speaker 2: please give me stars, and I'm on my knees, that's begging.
Speaker 2: And until then I'm just asking politely.
Speaker 3: Okay, sure it gets more desperate throughout it. I need
Speaker 3: this about Naddy.
Speaker 2: Jay anyways, get out here right so you guys. Bade two.
Speaker 2: Doting Dad's podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
Speaker 2: Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
Speaker 3: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
Speaker 3: and extend that respect to all Abriae, Reginal and Torrestrate
Speaker 3: Islander peoples today.
Speaker 1: This episode was recorded on Gadigle Land