Speaker 1: Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex
Speaker 1: and Frooms catch up podcast Flex and Frooms on cater
Speaker 1: Listen up. I think we have a rant brewing. Oh well,
Speaker 1: maybe I'm just speaking passionately. Who knows, don't get my
Speaker 1: tone confused with someone who cares deeply about this topic.
Speaker 1: I just want to get off my chest. Okay, who
Speaker 1: would have thought that we'd have all these new words
Speaker 1: and terms to understand what the heck is going on
Speaker 1: with human connection? I feel like people are as more
Speaker 1: confused as ever, and yet we've got a thousand new
Speaker 1: phrases which are meant to make us understand things more clearly.
Speaker 1: We've clocked that red flags are things that make it
Speaker 1: clear that our relationship won't work correct or something about
Speaker 1: someone that is defective or makes them not a good match. Yes, now,
Speaker 1: pink flags are like subtle indicators that someone might not
Speaker 1: be the right fit. Green flags are signs of a
Speaker 1: potential keeper. Those are good qualities, But where do beige
Speaker 1: flags fit. If you find yourself on TikTok, Instagram or
Speaker 1: any kind of social media, you've probably seen the trend
Speaker 1: that's popping off or has been for the last six
Speaker 1: weeks or so, it gets Instagram bit late. If you're
Speaker 1: on TikTok, you know that to be a fact. Beige
Speaker 1: flags are like those little quirks when you start befriending
Speaker 1: someone or dating someone, or interacting someone that you perceive
Speaker 1: to be a little bit off. They're like odd traits
Speaker 1: or funny things, but they're not deal breakers. I would
Speaker 1: just call them personality quirks, but the Internet calls them
Speaker 1: beige flags. Apparently they're not necessarily problems, but they aren't
Speaker 1: plus points either. Now, based on the videos that I've seen,
Speaker 1: I've done a little summary of what no, no, this
Speaker 1: is a text on screen trend. Oh. Based on the
Speaker 1: research I've done, I've made a summary of what people
Speaker 1: perceive to be beige flags You're good, which include, but
Speaker 1: aren't limited to, dunking biscuits in tea, sneezing a bit
Speaker 1: too loudly, using capslock excessively too many emojis, believing in
Speaker 1: conspiracy theories. Okay, how is emojis and conspiracy theories next
Speaker 1: to each other? Babes not knowing the details of their friends' lives, oh,
Speaker 1: bit of me using lingo out of context when someone travels,
Speaker 1: so for example, saying what's the damage when the bill
Speaker 1: comes and you're in Greece? Oh, I'm seeing your process
Speaker 1: in real time. Yeah, okay, can I give you a
Speaker 1: second that hurts? Here's the thing, Like all of these
Speaker 1: terms and titles, at one point they were really helpful
Speaker 1: to give us common language to describe a universal thing happening.
Speaker 1: It was the great unifier. Oh my goodness, it's not
Speaker 1: weird for me to not want my partner to light
Speaker 1: people's pictures on social media. Oh my god, it's not
Speaker 1: weird for me to not feel comfortable with my mum
Speaker 1: disciplining my best friend and yelling at her, whatever it
Speaker 1: might be. I now have a term for what's going on.
Speaker 1: I feel closer, I feel more connected. The early adopters,
Speaker 1: for the taste makers who bring this language to social media,
Speaker 1: I think they understood the breadth and depth of how
Speaker 1: to use it, how not to use it. And then
Speaker 1: it reaches mass population. It reaches gen pop without the
Speaker 1: context and the education and the nuance, and then becomes
Speaker 1: this like reductive thing where people don't really know like, okay, yes,
Speaker 1: we know what a beige flag is. Why do we
Speaker 1: use them? Why we pointing out this behavior. Why is
Speaker 1: it necessary to single out someone's peculiarities? What good does
Speaker 1: it do us? Right? And so I'm thinking with this
Speaker 1: beige flag thing, the frustration with the trend currently, or
Speaker 1: what I'm assuming is the frustration for those onlooking, is
Speaker 1: that there is a disparity between what someone perceives to
Speaker 1: be a beige flag versus a red flag that in
Speaker 1: itself tells us everything we need to know about human connection.
Speaker 1: What I perceive to be great behavior ideal top ten
Speaker 1: is what you might think is weird, odd, disgusting, inappropriate
Speaker 1: or whatever, but because I think maybe it's humanate, Maybe
Speaker 1: it's just the byproduct of wanting to fit in when
Speaker 1: we see someone call out behavior, we want to be
Speaker 1: a part of the right group. Right, So if I say, oh,
Speaker 1: a beige flag is someone who has a best friend,
Speaker 1: and everyone's like yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, and you
Speaker 1: don't feel that way, somedden, you're slowly suppressing how you
Speaker 1: feel so you can align with popular thought. And it's
Speaker 1: fine to want to align with popular thought. But it's
Speaker 1: without the thinking of what you actually think that makes
Speaker 1: it really confusing, because we start to inherit these really
Speaker 1: inflammatory ideas about the world with no second guessing, and
Speaker 1: that to me is super odd. Also, I think that
Speaker 1: like people aren't seeing the contradiction in pointing out these
Speaker 1: red flags, beige flags, green flags, like we all are
Speaker 1: in some way searching for a perfection that doesn't exist.
Speaker 1: The older we get, or like the more connected we
Speaker 1: become by the Internet, people are forgetting that we're not
Speaker 1: the same. It's actually quite normal for us not to
Speaker 1: be alike at all. It's actually quite strange for me
Speaker 1: to point out every way somebody else is different to me.
Speaker 1: It's quite regressive for you to measure me to yourself
Speaker 1: as a standard is like an internal practice. It's a barometer.
Speaker 1: It helps you understand where you fit in the world,
Speaker 1: as opposed to making it seem like other people are
Speaker 1: defective because they're not like you, and like, yes, it's
Speaker 1: like a funny little joke trend or whatever, but people
Speaker 1: lack common sense and brain cells to discern when is
Speaker 1: this contextually funny on the internet versus when am I
Speaker 1: not able to use this skill in the real world
Speaker 1: trying to think of a situation. So, for example, right,
Speaker 1: one of the things I was trying to learn post
Speaker 1: twenty twenty on the internet. If you know, you know
Speaker 1: is to discern what I actually care about in terms
Speaker 1: of like what's hitting my heart and motivating me to
Speaker 1: learn and improve, and what interests me? What am I
Speaker 1: curious about, what has sparked, you know, something in me?
Speaker 1: And like, because I didn't know what I cared about
Speaker 1: versus what interested me, suddenly I was completed thinking that
Speaker 1: everything was my priority. Right. Also, for example, we were
Speaker 1: talking before about let's say I would say, like half
Speaker 1: of my close friends are vegetarians or vegans, right, like
Speaker 1: me too. Half. Now I as the meat eater, I
Speaker 1: don't need to feel a way about that, but I
Speaker 1: have had conversations with all of my friends in some
Speaker 1: capacity about like what is motivating your veganism or your vegetarianism.
Speaker 1: So I can understand if there's like a level of
Speaker 1: discomfort with us going out to eat or you know,
Speaker 1: hanging out sharing cups or cutlery or whatever. That is
Speaker 1: more useful than me saying, oh, because that you're vegetarian,
Speaker 1: we definitely can't be friends because you're gonna have a
Speaker 1: problem with me, or yeah, the baised flags that my
Speaker 1: friend doesn't eat dairy. No, your friend is just a
Speaker 1: regular person existing in a regular body in the same
Speaker 1: way you are. And also, you know, like when you
Speaker 1: make front of your friends in context of people who
Speaker 1: get the joke, it's funny right in front of you.
Speaker 1: But then I'm like the viral videos of these people
Speaker 1: who aren't content creators putting their partners on blast and
Speaker 1: having everybody in the comments like either defend them or
Speaker 1: tear them to shreds because they think they're an idiot.
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is I don't know if this is
Speaker 1: co show. I don't want to go to sleep next
Speaker 1: to you. Yeah, I don't know if this is safe.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine if you woke up one day to
Speaker 1: your partner saying, oh, look at this video. I said,
Speaker 1: your bees flag is XYZ and then you look at
Speaker 1: the comments and I was like, she's an idiot. Doesn't
Speaker 1: she know that doesn't make sense? When you travel to Croatia,
Speaker 1: you should dump her. You'd be like, what is this
Speaker 1: and who is this for? Also, TikTok especially has taken
Speaker 1: people who don't even share their relationships and turn them
Speaker 1: into people who are like profiteering off their relationship for
Speaker 1: quick clicks. Like it makes sense when content creators share
Speaker 1: themselves on the Internet to mass people with no incentive.
Speaker 1: But I think, what does Chelsea from Maryland, Ohio sharing
Speaker 1: Richmond from Maryland, Ohio like to a million people? What
Speaker 1: does that do for their sense of self? I'm fascinated,
Speaker 1: Like are they Is he excited by that big thought?
Speaker 1: Everyone thinks he's a dummy who doesn't understand cultural competency. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: there's something to see here. Beage likes also aren't real,
Speaker 1: like to end, they're not real. They're really not hard truths.
Speaker 1: People having personalities is just is it is what it is?
Speaker 1: You know what it really is? What it is? You're
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