WEBVTT - Hot Take 🏁 Beige Flags Don't Exist Oop 😶

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<v Speaker 1>Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex

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<v Speaker 1>and Frooms catch up podcast Flex and Frooms on cater

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<v Speaker 1>Listen up. I think we have a rant brewing. Oh well,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe I'm just speaking passionately. Who knows, don't get my

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<v Speaker 1>tone confused with someone who cares deeply about this topic.

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<v Speaker 1>I just want to get off my chest. Okay, who

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<v Speaker 1>would have thought that we'd have all these new words

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<v Speaker 1>and terms to understand what the heck is going on

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<v Speaker 1>with human connection? I feel like people are as more

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<v Speaker 1>confused as ever, and yet we've got a thousand new

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<v Speaker 1>phrases which are meant to make us understand things more clearly.

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<v Speaker 1>We've clocked that red flags are things that make it

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<v Speaker 1>clear that our relationship won't work correct or something about

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<v Speaker 1>someone that is defective or makes them not a good match. Yes, now,

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<v Speaker 1>pink flags are like subtle indicators that someone might not

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<v Speaker 1>be the right fit. Green flags are signs of a

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<v Speaker 1>potential keeper. Those are good qualities, But where do beige

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<v Speaker 1>flags fit. If you find yourself on TikTok, Instagram or

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<v Speaker 1>any kind of social media, you've probably seen the trend

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<v Speaker 1>that's popping off or has been for the last six

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<v Speaker 1>weeks or so, it gets Instagram bit late. If you're

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<v Speaker 1>on TikTok, you know that to be a fact. Beige

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<v Speaker 1>flags are like those little quirks when you start befriending

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<v Speaker 1>someone or dating someone, or interacting someone that you perceive

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<v Speaker 1>to be a little bit off. They're like odd traits

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<v Speaker 1>or funny things, but they're not deal breakers. I would

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<v Speaker 1>just call them personality quirks, but the Internet calls them

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<v Speaker 1>beige flags. Apparently they're not necessarily problems, but they aren't

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<v Speaker 1>plus points either. Now, based on the videos that I've seen,

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<v Speaker 1>I've done a little summary of what no, no, this

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<v Speaker 1>is a text on screen trend. Oh. Based on the

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<v Speaker 1>research I've done, I've made a summary of what people

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<v Speaker 1>perceive to be beige flags You're good, which include, but

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<v Speaker 1>aren't limited to, dunking biscuits in tea, sneezing a bit

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<v Speaker 1>too loudly, using capslock excessively too many emojis, believing in

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<v Speaker 1>conspiracy theories. Okay, how is emojis and conspiracy theories next

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<v Speaker 1>to each other? Babes not knowing the details of their friends' lives, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>bit of me using lingo out of context when someone travels,

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<v Speaker 1>so for example, saying what's the damage when the bill

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<v Speaker 1>comes and you're in Greece? Oh, I'm seeing your process

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<v Speaker 1>in real time. Yeah, okay, can I give you a

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<v Speaker 1>second that hurts? Here's the thing, Like all of these

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<v Speaker 1>terms and titles, at one point they were really helpful

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<v Speaker 1>to give us common language to describe a universal thing happening.

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<v Speaker 1>It was the great unifier. Oh my goodness, it's not

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<v Speaker 1>weird for me to not want my partner to light

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<v Speaker 1>people's pictures on social media. Oh my god, it's not

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<v Speaker 1>weird for me to not feel comfortable with my mum

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<v Speaker 1>disciplining my best friend and yelling at her, whatever it

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<v Speaker 1>might be. I now have a term for what's going on.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel closer, I feel more connected. The early adopters,

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<v Speaker 1>for the taste makers who bring this language to social media,

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<v Speaker 1>I think they understood the breadth and depth of how

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<v Speaker 1>to use it, how not to use it. And then

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<v Speaker 1>it reaches mass population. It reaches gen pop without the

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<v Speaker 1>context and the education and the nuance, and then becomes

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<v Speaker 1>this like reductive thing where people don't really know like, okay, yes,

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<v Speaker 1>we know what a beige flag is. Why do we

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<v Speaker 1>use them? Why we pointing out this behavior. Why is

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<v Speaker 1>it necessary to single out someone's peculiarities? What good does

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<v Speaker 1>it do us? Right? And so I'm thinking with this

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<v Speaker 1>beige flag thing, the frustration with the trend currently, or

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<v Speaker 1>what I'm assuming is the frustration for those onlooking, is

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<v Speaker 1>that there is a disparity between what someone perceives to

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<v Speaker 1>be a beige flag versus a red flag that in

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<v Speaker 1>itself tells us everything we need to know about human connection.

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<v Speaker 1>What I perceive to be great behavior ideal top ten

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<v Speaker 1>is what you might think is weird, odd, disgusting, inappropriate

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<v Speaker 1>or whatever, but because I think maybe it's humanate, Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>it's just the byproduct of wanting to fit in when

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<v Speaker 1>we see someone call out behavior, we want to be

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<v Speaker 1>a part of the right group. Right, So if I say, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>a beige flag is someone who has a best friend,

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<v Speaker 1>and everyone's like yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, and you

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<v Speaker 1>don't feel that way, somedden, you're slowly suppressing how you

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<v Speaker 1>feel so you can align with popular thought. And it's

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<v Speaker 1>fine to want to align with popular thought. But it's

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<v Speaker 1>without the thinking of what you actually think that makes

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<v Speaker 1>it really confusing, because we start to inherit these really

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<v Speaker 1>inflammatory ideas about the world with no second guessing, and

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<v Speaker 1>that to me is super odd. Also, I think that

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<v Speaker 1>like people aren't seeing the contradiction in pointing out these

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<v Speaker 1>red flags, beige flags, green flags, like we all are

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<v Speaker 1>in some way searching for a perfection that doesn't exist.

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<v Speaker 1>The older we get, or like the more connected we

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<v Speaker 1>become by the Internet, people are forgetting that we're not

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<v Speaker 1>the same. It's actually quite normal for us not to

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<v Speaker 1>be alike at all. It's actually quite strange for me

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<v Speaker 1>to point out every way somebody else is different to me.

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<v Speaker 1>It's quite regressive for you to measure me to yourself

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<v Speaker 1>as a standard is like an internal practice. It's a barometer.

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<v Speaker 1>It helps you understand where you fit in the world,

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<v Speaker 1>as opposed to making it seem like other people are

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<v Speaker 1>defective because they're not like you, and like, yes, it's

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<v Speaker 1>like a funny little joke trend or whatever, but people

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<v Speaker 1>lack common sense and brain cells to discern when is

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<v Speaker 1>this contextually funny on the internet versus when am I

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<v Speaker 1>not able to use this skill in the real world

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<v Speaker 1>trying to think of a situation. So, for example, right,

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<v Speaker 1>one of the things I was trying to learn post

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<v Speaker 1>twenty twenty on the internet. If you know, you know

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<v Speaker 1>is to discern what I actually care about in terms

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<v Speaker 1>of like what's hitting my heart and motivating me to

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<v Speaker 1>learn and improve, and what interests me? What am I

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<v Speaker 1>curious about, what has sparked, you know, something in me?

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<v Speaker 1>And like, because I didn't know what I cared about

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<v Speaker 1>versus what interested me, suddenly I was completed thinking that

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<v Speaker 1>everything was my priority. Right. Also, for example, we were

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<v Speaker 1>talking before about let's say I would say, like half

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<v Speaker 1>of my close friends are vegetarians or vegans, right, like

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<v Speaker 1>me too. Half. Now I as the meat eater, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't need to feel a way about that, but I

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<v Speaker 1>have had conversations with all of my friends in some

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<v Speaker 1>capacity about like what is motivating your veganism or your vegetarianism.

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<v Speaker 1>So I can understand if there's like a level of

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<v Speaker 1>discomfort with us going out to eat or you know,

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<v Speaker 1>hanging out sharing cups or cutlery or whatever. That is

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<v Speaker 1>more useful than me saying, oh, because that you're vegetarian,

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<v Speaker 1>we definitely can't be friends because you're gonna have a

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<v Speaker 1>problem with me, or yeah, the baised flags that my

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<v Speaker 1>friend doesn't eat dairy. No, your friend is just a

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<v Speaker 1>regular person existing in a regular body in the same

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<v Speaker 1>way you are. And also, you know, like when you

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<v Speaker 1>make front of your friends in context of people who

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<v Speaker 1>get the joke, it's funny right in front of you.

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<v Speaker 1>But then I'm like the viral videos of these people

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<v Speaker 1>who aren't content creators putting their partners on blast and

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<v Speaker 1>having everybody in the comments like either defend them or

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<v Speaker 1>tear them to shreds because they think they're an idiot.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, this is I don't know if this is

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<v Speaker 1>co show. I don't want to go to sleep next

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<v Speaker 1>to you. Yeah, I don't know if this is safe.

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<v Speaker 1>Can you imagine if you woke up one day to

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<v Speaker 1>your partner saying, oh, look at this video. I said,

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<v Speaker 1>your bees flag is XYZ and then you look at

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<v Speaker 1>the comments and I was like, she's an idiot. Doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>she know that doesn't make sense? When you travel to Croatia,

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<v Speaker 1>you should dump her. You'd be like, what is this

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<v Speaker 1>and who is this for? Also, TikTok especially has taken

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<v Speaker 1>people who don't even share their relationships and turn them

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<v Speaker 1>into people who are like profiteering off their relationship for

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<v Speaker 1>quick clicks. Like it makes sense when content creators share

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<v Speaker 1>themselves on the Internet to mass people with no incentive.

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<v Speaker 1>But I think, what does Chelsea from Maryland, Ohio sharing

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<v Speaker 1>Richmond from Maryland, Ohio like to a million people? What

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<v Speaker 1>does that do for their sense of self? I'm fascinated,

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<v Speaker 1>Like are they Is he excited by that big thought?

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<v Speaker 1>Everyone thinks he's a dummy who doesn't understand cultural competency. No, no, no,

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<v Speaker 1>there's something to see here. Beage likes also aren't real,

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<v Speaker 1>like to end, they're not real. They're really not hard truths.

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<v Speaker 1>People having personalities is just is it is what it is?

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<v Speaker 1>You know what it really is? What it is? You're

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<v Speaker 1>with Flex and Frooms? Okter, Wow, you've been listening to

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