WEBVTT - ASK UNCUT - HELP! I can't orgasm with my partner and who gets the dog. 

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<v Speaker 1>Into the microphone this time. Bring it hi, guys, and

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<v Speaker 1>welcome back to our very special episode of the week.

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<v Speaker 1>This is Ask Uncut. Think of this episode as a

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<v Speaker 1>warm hug, your free therapy session where we answer all

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<v Speaker 1>of the deep, dark and dirty questions that you have

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<v Speaker 1>been writing into us. Well not all of them. We

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<v Speaker 1>pick out a select few and we answer them personally.

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<v Speaker 2>I still love how every episode you call it this

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<v Speaker 2>is a very special episode, and I'm like, nope, this

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<v Speaker 2>comes every Thursday.

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<v Speaker 1>It's still very special.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, all of our episodes are special to us,

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<v Speaker 2>but I still love that that's how you sell it.

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<v Speaker 2>What have you done in the last few days. Surely

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<v Speaker 2>you've done something fun in this lockdown. I just realized

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<v Speaker 2>my headphones aren't working. It's very disappointing.

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<v Speaker 1>I go rogue now. I don't even use them. I don't.

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<v Speaker 1>I just don't feel comfortable. I feel so naked podcasting

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<v Speaker 1>without headphones on, Like I'm out there wild and flapping

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<v Speaker 1>in the winged I sleep naked, do you know? Well?

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<v Speaker 2>No, okay, that's a lie. I don't sleep naked but

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<v Speaker 2>in undies. But that's it.

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<v Speaker 1>I have to sleep with undies on because otherwise I

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<v Speaker 1>feel too like, what if something I don't know, like,

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<v Speaker 1>what is going to happen? What if Matt thinks it's

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<v Speaker 1>an invitation and I'm very tired. Oh my god, don't

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<v Speaker 1>touch me West nightmare. You can never be too prepared

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<v Speaker 1>or too cautious, ladies, protect yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>I did actually see that you did a bit of

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<v Speaker 2>an art class this week on your daughter's face.

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<v Speaker 1>Today. I have very productive day everyone, This is what

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<v Speaker 1>BRIT's referring to this. That was a subtle, jab very

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<v Speaker 1>very productive day working from home. I just drew some

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<v Speaker 1>eyebrows on Muley and that took me about two hours,

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<v Speaker 1>because that's that's what well. You had to contour them

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<v Speaker 1>them highlight that gys having a browse on fleeck is

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<v Speaker 1>very time consuming and also very important. Stockpiling all of

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<v Speaker 1>the embarrassing photos of her so that I can whip

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<v Speaker 1>them out at her twenty first, because that's what parents

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<v Speaker 1>are for.

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<v Speaker 2>If you haven't seen the photo, go and have a

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<v Speaker 2>lookis on Laura's Instagram's.

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<v Speaker 1>Chat Lady and a Cat in case you weren't sure,

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<v Speaker 1>that's my Instagram. You're welcome, come on down to instagram town.

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<v Speaker 1>Very subtle Laura subtle. Oh don't no, no, no, Brittany, no, no, no.

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<v Speaker 1>What have you been up to you? But it's only

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<v Speaker 1>been twenty four hours since I've seen you. But what

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<v Speaker 1>have you been doing? I haven't bet you swirling your

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<v Speaker 1>wine around? I hadn't event for twenty four hours. I

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<v Speaker 1>filmed a dance video. I've risky business in my underwear

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<v Speaker 1>Tom Cruise dance video. Oh you've joined the TikTok ranks?

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<v Speaker 1>How did you? No? It wasn't even TikTok, just same

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<v Speaker 1>but similar content. It sounds beautiful, really proud of you.

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<v Speaker 1>But I had a lot of fun doing it. I

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<v Speaker 1>missed dancing, I miss going out and just having a

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<v Speaker 1>really good time.

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<v Speaker 2>And when I was like running around my house andy

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<v Speaker 2>sliding across the floor, I just thought, I cannot wait

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<v Speaker 2>until I can get in the club after Corona.

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<v Speaker 1>What is the club in the club? Is that like

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<v Speaker 1>a mother's group? Is that what a club is? Now?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't even know. Do you know what that when

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<v Speaker 1>you push your prams and you go for a walk?

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<v Speaker 1>Is that a club?

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<v Speaker 2>You and I are going to go to the club

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<v Speaker 2>when because we have to celebrate our million here actually

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<v Speaker 2>by then maybe two million.

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<v Speaker 1>That is a sure fire way to make me feel

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<v Speaker 1>extremely old. I will stay away from all clubs and

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<v Speaker 1>all young people having fun. Speaking of TikTok videos though,

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<v Speaker 1>and guys, if you're having a bad day, this is

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<v Speaker 1>gonna make you feel so much better about yourself. I

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<v Speaker 1>read on the news today that there was a twenty

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<v Speaker 1>seven year old mum who broke both her ankles trying

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<v Speaker 1>to create a TikTok video. Hahaa, an absolute legend. That's

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<v Speaker 1>definitely not what she was. But I really feel like

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<v Speaker 1>this is just going to drive the point home, and

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<v Speaker 1>that is that we are all too old for TikTok.

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<v Speaker 1>I think if you're twenty two and above, you're too

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<v Speaker 1>old for TikTok. I think I need to tell Matt

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<v Speaker 1>this as well, since he's really embraced the whole thing. No, look,

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<v Speaker 1>TikTok's fun and it takes your mind off things. But

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<v Speaker 1>what I want to know, like the real question here

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<v Speaker 1>is what TikTok dance was she doing? Do you know?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know, I don't know how to sing it,

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<v Speaker 1>but it's O Nana sing it please, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>Well I thought it was that, oh Nana. It's definitely

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<v Speaker 1>not that it's like some no, no, no, it's not that. Stop.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's let's stop doing this.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, Well, anyway, she broke her ankles. That's very unfortunate,

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<v Speaker 2>so guys, don't try that at home.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's not shall we get into the questions I reckon?

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<v Speaker 1>All right? If you're still with us at this point?

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<v Speaker 1>Or do we want three minutes? In three minutes? In guys?

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<v Speaker 1>Here we are. That's what Laura says when she's I

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<v Speaker 1>won't go there. So for anyone who has written in

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<v Speaker 1>questions this week at Life Uncut Podcast to Instagram or

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<v Speaker 1>on our face group page, which is Life Uncut Podcast,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know why that was so hard. You know

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<v Speaker 1>it's got Facebook, not face group. Did I say face

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<v Speaker 1>group on our face group page? Oh? Man, life is

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<v Speaker 1>really difful. Anyway, Look, thank you for writing in your questions.

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<v Speaker 1>We do take this really seriously. We feel so incredibly

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<v Speaker 1>privileged that you trust us with our opinions, with our feedback,

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<v Speaker 1>with our life advice. But we just want to say

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<v Speaker 1>to everyone who does write in, we so deeply appreciate it,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's good to know that, you know, we all

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<v Speaker 1>go through these different hurdles in our lives at different times,

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<v Speaker 1>and you are so normal because I guarantee we have

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<v Speaker 1>probably been there and done at ourselves ten times worse,

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<v Speaker 1>ten times worse.

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<v Speaker 2>I hope you guys know and realize too that whilst

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<v Speaker 2>Laura and I are a lot of the time, majority

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<v Speaker 2>of the time we can be silly, we take the

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<v Speaker 2>piss out of each other. We have a really great

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<v Speaker 2>time on here, but we do take these questions very seriously,

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<v Speaker 2>so I hope you can see the contrast in the podcast,

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<v Speaker 2>but know that when you do write into us, it

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<v Speaker 2>is taken very seriously and we might have a laugh

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<v Speaker 2>on either side of that, but we do really want

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<v Speaker 2>to give you the best possible advice.

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<v Speaker 1>So I just wanted to pop that disclaimer in. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>give us the first question. Brittany, okay, ahem.

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<v Speaker 2>I have been dating my partner for over two years

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<v Speaker 2>and things are mostly great. We have some issues, as

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<v Speaker 2>all couples do, but there is one big problem. Neither

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<v Speaker 2>of us can climax in the bedroom. It's enjoyable, but

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<v Speaker 2>there's no big bang, not even close. We are pretty

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<v Speaker 2>open about this and we have tried many different things,

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<v Speaker 2>but it doesn't seem to be working. She has always

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<v Speaker 2>had trouble with this in the past, but I can

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<v Speaker 2>climax when I'm on my own, and I haven't had

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<v Speaker 2>this issue in my past relationships. For the past year,

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<v Speaker 2>I've been finding myself having regular sex dreams about other people,

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<v Speaker 2>and I just don't know what to do about this,

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<v Speaker 2>because I feel like maybe we're just not sexually compatible.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you guys think that this is a deal break

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<v Speaker 2>in a relationship. I really love her, but I don't

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<v Speaker 2>want to live my whole life sexually frustrated and unsatisfied.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe we are better as friends. I just don't know

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<v Speaker 1>what to do or what to think. Sex is so

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<v Speaker 1>important in a relationship. Having that physical chemistry is so important.

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<v Speaker 1>There's different aspects of it, and like, yes, climaxing is

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<v Speaker 1>kind of the end goal, but there's so many aspects

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<v Speaker 1>of it that that are also important and that can

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<v Speaker 1>kind of lead you to that. I guess only you

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<v Speaker 1>know if having an orgasm is a deal breaker for you,

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<v Speaker 1>Like for some people it would be, and for other

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<v Speaker 1>people it's not, and that's okay because everything on that

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<v Speaker 1>spectrum is fine. I think, would it be a deal

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<v Speaker 1>breaker for me if I didn't enjoy sex with my partner?

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<v Speaker 1>Probably to be honest, before I just called it quits

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<v Speaker 1>because I wasn't sexually satisfied, I would make sure that

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<v Speaker 1>I was trying every single thing possible to try and

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<v Speaker 1>get there before I made a call on this. Look,

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<v Speaker 1>there are a lot of women I'm gonna step in there, Laura.

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<v Speaker 1>There are a lot of women that actually can't orgasm.

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<v Speaker 2>It doesn't matter what they do. We should talk about

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<v Speaker 2>that sometime. But they science says no, computer says no.

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<v Speaker 2>They physically cannot achieve it on their own. This girl

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<v Speaker 2>has said that she can do it on her own,

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<v Speaker 2>so a we know it is possible for her to

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<v Speaker 2>get there. So it's something that isn't quite clicking with

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<v Speaker 2>them together.

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<v Speaker 1>I wonder how honest have you been? Obviously you know

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<v Speaker 1>what works for you.

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<v Speaker 2>So if you haven't already had this really honest chat,

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<v Speaker 2>have the chat. Tell her what you do or show

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<v Speaker 2>her what you do. Maybe she just needs a bit

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<v Speaker 2>of guidance for what suits you or what tickles your fancy. Literally,

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<v Speaker 2>no punt intended, actually puntingtendent fully pun fully intended anything

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<v Speaker 2>in the bedroom between a couple. When there's issues, it

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<v Speaker 2>comes down to communication. Because everybody is so different and

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<v Speaker 2>the way maybe her past relationships she has done other

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<v Speaker 2>things and it's worked in other ways, and then she's

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<v Speaker 2>met you and she's doing the same thing she used

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<v Speaker 2>to do, but it's.

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<v Speaker 1>Not working for you.

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<v Speaker 2>So just I would just straight up tell her or

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<v Speaker 2>show her. Obviously these girls are in the same sex relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>She has said that.

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<v Speaker 2>She said she can't talk to her friends about it

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<v Speaker 2>because they literally say to her, you need some dick,

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<v Speaker 2>She wrote.

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<v Speaker 1>It's such an unhelpful It's like, you don't ridiculous. So

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<v Speaker 1>you can have penetrative sex without having a penis in

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<v Speaker 1>the bedroom, like you can buy toys, you can buy

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<v Speaker 1>a vibrator. There are so many other options there that

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<v Speaker 1>you can explore with your partner. If you're open to experimenting,

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<v Speaker 1>if you're open to having those very raw conversations with

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<v Speaker 1>your partner, that can open up a whole new sexual

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<v Speaker 1>experience for you both that you might both be able

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<v Speaker 1>to enjoy. To round it up, I just.

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<v Speaker 2>Definitely don't think that it's a deal breakup straight away.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think that you need to go and take

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<v Speaker 2>any drastic measures and break up because you can't climax

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<v Speaker 2>in the bedroom from what you have said, you guys

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<v Speaker 2>have a great, healthy relationship in every other aspect, so

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<v Speaker 2>why don't you work on that you can go to

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<v Speaker 2>sounds funny, but there are sex classes.

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<v Speaker 1>There are actual.

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<v Speaker 2>Classes that go and show you different ways to do

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<v Speaker 2>things in a bedroom help you can reconnect with your partner.

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<v Speaker 2>And they're not necessarily really serious therapy sessions. They're like

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<v Speaker 2>they can be really quite light harded and fun and.

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<v Speaker 1>I love it. I was like, I was like, no,

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<v Speaker 1>this is a deal breaker for me. But now the

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<v Speaker 1>more that you're speaking, I'm like yes, I'm like, yes,

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<v Speaker 1>you stay there, you work on your relationship. Yeah, you

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<v Speaker 1>I blore each other together. This is great advice, Brittany,

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<v Speaker 1>keep going well.

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<v Speaker 2>I just think once you've done all those things and

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<v Speaker 2>you have tried that, and you have explored classes together,

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<v Speaker 2>and you've had fun together, and you've openly said what

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<v Speaker 2>you feels missing, what you want, what makes you turned on,

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<v Speaker 2>then you can reassess if it's a deal breaker. If

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<v Speaker 2>you know that you will be sexually frustrated for the

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<v Speaker 2>rest of your life and then that is going to

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<v Speaker 2>roll over into your life. Is that going to make

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<v Speaker 2>you resent her the next day? Is it going to

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<v Speaker 2>make you want to argue with her in other ways,

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<v Speaker 2>then for sure that's when it's a problem. And I

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<v Speaker 2>do think, like, just to elaborate on what Britt has said, like,

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<v Speaker 2>if you have exhausted all options and this is something

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<v Speaker 2>that is so important to you and you're still not

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<v Speaker 2>satisfied and you're still not getting what you want out

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<v Speaker 2>of the relationship, you will know if this is a

0:10:53.559 --> 0:10:55.520
<v Speaker 2>deal breaker for you. Like we said at the beginning,

0:10:55.600 --> 0:10:58.400
<v Speaker 2>this varies for every single person. And so unless you

0:10:58.520 --> 0:11:00.680
<v Speaker 2>get to a point where you're like I tried everything,

0:11:00.960 --> 0:11:04.439
<v Speaker 2>I'm not satisfied, I'm not happy, then I think you

0:11:04.800 --> 0:11:06.880
<v Speaker 2>keep you keep pushing on because there's always going to

0:11:06.880 --> 0:11:08.679
<v Speaker 2>be things in a relationship that you're not happy with.

0:11:08.760 --> 0:11:10.439
<v Speaker 2>There's always going to be aspects that you have to

0:11:10.520 --> 0:11:13.560
<v Speaker 2>work on, and whether it's in the bedroom, whether it's communication,

0:11:14.200 --> 0:11:17.200
<v Speaker 2>whether it's bloody cooking and cleaning, like, there's always going

0:11:17.240 --> 0:11:19.240
<v Speaker 2>to be something in your relationship that you need to

0:11:19.320 --> 0:11:22.319
<v Speaker 2>work on, and for you it's and for you it's

0:11:22.440 --> 0:11:23.400
<v Speaker 2>getting that big O.

0:11:23.760 --> 0:11:26.400
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, I couldn't agree more. That's actually a really good point, Laura,

0:11:26.520 --> 0:11:29.920
<v Speaker 1>fact that there's always something whether it's baby, never cook baby,

0:11:30.000 --> 0:11:30.920
<v Speaker 1>never clean, babe.

0:11:31.040 --> 0:11:33.760
<v Speaker 2>You never get me off. There's always something and in

0:11:33.920 --> 0:11:35.320
<v Speaker 2>this case, it's just that it's sexual.

0:11:35.480 --> 0:11:37.480
<v Speaker 1>But I agree with that you It wouldn't be a

0:11:37.520 --> 0:11:40.839
<v Speaker 1>deal breaker if someone wasn't contributing to the cleaning every week.

0:11:40.840 --> 0:11:42.360
<v Speaker 1>You would talk about it and say can you can

0:11:42.400 --> 0:11:45.160
<v Speaker 1>you pull your weight please? So I really love that

0:11:45.200 --> 0:11:48.400
<v Speaker 1>you brought that up. Let's go on to question number two. Great,

0:11:48.720 --> 0:11:52.280
<v Speaker 1>I reckon, we can do it. Enjoy Enjoy the practice

0:11:52.280 --> 0:11:55.160
<v Speaker 1>that you're going to have. We go get practicing, girlfriends.

0:11:55.280 --> 0:12:00.199
<v Speaker 1>We all know that it's not the destination but the journey. Go.

0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:03.280
<v Speaker 1>How's that for a bit of sweet pie advice? So deep?

0:12:03.320 --> 0:12:08.640
<v Speaker 1>All right? Next one question question number two. I'm twenty

0:12:08.720 --> 0:12:11.280
<v Speaker 1>five and I've been in a relationship for nearly four years.

0:12:11.400 --> 0:12:14.280
<v Speaker 1>We live together and have a very stable lifestyle. We

0:12:14.360 --> 0:12:18.120
<v Speaker 1>have great jobs financially okay, good friends foundly nearby. I

0:12:18.200 --> 0:12:20.360
<v Speaker 1>have always been in long term relationships ever since I

0:12:20.480 --> 0:12:22.520
<v Speaker 1>was a teenager. For a while, I.

0:12:22.600 --> 0:12:24.880
<v Speaker 2>Having feeling like I've missed out on that part of

0:12:24.960 --> 0:12:26.959
<v Speaker 2>my life where I am just single and young and

0:12:27.120 --> 0:12:29.040
<v Speaker 2>figuring out who I am and what I want to

0:12:29.080 --> 0:12:31.240
<v Speaker 2>do with my life. I feel I need to make

0:12:31.320 --> 0:12:33.319
<v Speaker 2>up my mind as to whether I happily commit to

0:12:33.400 --> 0:12:36.360
<v Speaker 2>this relationship from now on in or do we go

0:12:36.440 --> 0:12:38.560
<v Speaker 2>out separate ways so that I can spread my wings

0:12:38.640 --> 0:12:42.079
<v Speaker 2>and experience total independence. She's scared to leave him, but

0:12:43.160 --> 0:12:45.240
<v Speaker 2>there's a possibility he could be a penguin, and she

0:12:45.360 --> 0:12:48.439
<v Speaker 2>just doesn't know what to do if she is thinking

0:12:48.480 --> 0:12:50.840
<v Speaker 2>that there's a dream partner out there that is more

0:12:50.920 --> 0:12:51.839
<v Speaker 2>than her partner now.

0:12:52.000 --> 0:12:54.160
<v Speaker 1>So I think this is a case of is the

0:12:54.240 --> 0:12:58.200
<v Speaker 1>grass always greener? The grass is not always greener, my girlfriend,

0:12:58.200 --> 0:13:01.240
<v Speaker 1>I've been there, done, that's it's brown. It's brown. Also,

0:13:01.320 --> 0:13:02.839
<v Speaker 1>I think the one thing that I really want to

0:13:02.960 --> 0:13:06.120
<v Speaker 1>drive home from this question is there are aspects in

0:13:06.160 --> 0:13:08.920
<v Speaker 1>your relationship that you're that you're questioning right now, obviously,

0:13:09.040 --> 0:13:11.360
<v Speaker 1>like you're like, oh, you know, did I miss out on?

0:13:11.600 --> 0:13:14.320
<v Speaker 1>Did I miss out on being young and being free

0:13:14.440 --> 0:13:16.480
<v Speaker 1>and being able to travel and being able to you know,

0:13:16.640 --> 0:13:18.800
<v Speaker 1>hook up with whatever guy at whatever bar that I

0:13:18.840 --> 0:13:20.640
<v Speaker 1>want to hook up with. But I guarantee you that

0:13:20.720 --> 0:13:22.760
<v Speaker 1>if you break up with your partner and you're doing that,

0:13:23.200 --> 0:13:25.040
<v Speaker 1>there will be days where you will feel lonely, and

0:13:25.120 --> 0:13:27.439
<v Speaker 1>there will be days where you will question whether you

0:13:27.520 --> 0:13:29.880
<v Speaker 1>made the right decision, and there will be days where

0:13:29.920 --> 0:13:32.760
<v Speaker 1>you miss your partner because it fundamentally doesn't sound like

0:13:32.800 --> 0:13:35.600
<v Speaker 1>there is anything wrong with your relationship. It doesn't sound

0:13:35.640 --> 0:13:38.200
<v Speaker 1>like there's anything wrong with him. It's just this feeling

0:13:38.280 --> 0:13:40.920
<v Speaker 1>that maybe you missed out on something that you didn't

0:13:40.920 --> 0:13:43.080
<v Speaker 1>get to have. I think don't go making any rash

0:13:43.120 --> 0:13:46.160
<v Speaker 1>decisions about your relationship. Don't go breaking up with your

0:13:46.200 --> 0:13:49.040
<v Speaker 1>partner just because you think you've missed out on something,

0:13:49.520 --> 0:13:52.440
<v Speaker 1>because you haven't missed out on something. Everybody's experience is different,

0:13:52.760 --> 0:13:56.439
<v Speaker 1>everybody's journey in relationships is different, and maybe you did

0:13:56.559 --> 0:13:58.720
<v Speaker 1>just find the right person to be with. We did

0:13:58.760 --> 0:14:01.120
<v Speaker 1>actually do an episode on this episode eight, and it

0:14:01.240 --> 0:14:01.600
<v Speaker 1>is cooled.

0:14:01.640 --> 0:14:04.240
<v Speaker 2>The grass is always greener. So for anybody that's sort

0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:06.680
<v Speaker 2>of new to the podcast and didn't start from the beginning,

0:14:06.800 --> 0:14:10.199
<v Speaker 2>I recommend going back and having listen to that. But

0:14:10.440 --> 0:14:13.439
<v Speaker 2>my advice here is I think you really need to

0:14:13.520 --> 0:14:16.520
<v Speaker 2>decide within yourself what you think you're missing out on

0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:19.160
<v Speaker 2>and what you want to go and achieve. So ask yourself,

0:14:19.280 --> 0:14:21.760
<v Speaker 2>if I was not with my partner right now, what

0:14:21.880 --> 0:14:24.840
<v Speaker 2>would I be doing Differently? Is it that you want

0:14:24.920 --> 0:14:27.440
<v Speaker 2>to go and travel? Is it that you want to

0:14:27.880 --> 0:14:29.760
<v Speaker 2>have more experience sexually?

0:14:30.440 --> 0:14:31.720
<v Speaker 1>Is it that you want to live on your own?

0:14:32.280 --> 0:14:35.120
<v Speaker 1>What is it that is pulling you and drawing you

0:14:35.360 --> 0:14:36.600
<v Speaker 1>to this single life?

0:14:36.920 --> 0:14:40.520
<v Speaker 2>Because they're all they all have very different endings and

0:14:40.600 --> 0:14:42.920
<v Speaker 2>they have very different journeys. So I know personally, for me,

0:14:43.480 --> 0:14:46.320
<v Speaker 2>I had this exact same thing. I was with my

0:14:46.400 --> 0:14:49.920
<v Speaker 2>first partner for eight years. Four years in I had.

0:14:49.800 --> 0:14:52.360
<v Speaker 1>The feeling that this girl has where she's like, what

0:14:52.480 --> 0:14:55.000
<v Speaker 1>else is out there in the world? Is it for me?

0:14:55.240 --> 0:14:56.960
<v Speaker 2>Am I going to stay here with his partner forever?

0:14:57.560 --> 0:15:00.960
<v Speaker 2>And I did a lot of soul searching and decided

0:15:01.040 --> 0:15:03.640
<v Speaker 2>that what it was for me that I felt like

0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:05.400
<v Speaker 2>I was missing out on was just seeing the world.

0:15:05.960 --> 0:15:08.440
<v Speaker 2>And my partner at the time, he had a job

0:15:08.520 --> 0:15:11.520
<v Speaker 2>that he couldn't leave, and we decided together that I

0:15:11.680 --> 0:15:13.360
<v Speaker 2>would go, and I left for a year and I

0:15:13.440 --> 0:15:17.440
<v Speaker 2>moved overseas and I traveled and we stayed together for

0:15:17.560 --> 0:15:20.360
<v Speaker 2>four years after that. We didn't cheat on each other,

0:15:21.000 --> 0:15:23.040
<v Speaker 2>We were completely faithful in that year that we're apart.

0:15:23.120 --> 0:15:25.000
<v Speaker 2>But I knew that what was missing for me and

0:15:25.080 --> 0:15:27.840
<v Speaker 2>what I was searching for was just that aspect of

0:15:27.880 --> 0:15:31.480
<v Speaker 2>travel and adventure. I think you really need to take

0:15:31.960 --> 0:15:35.320
<v Speaker 2>a look at your relationship and yourself and if you

0:15:35.400 --> 0:15:37.320
<v Speaker 2>just feel like you're missing out on some life, maybe

0:15:37.400 --> 0:15:38.880
<v Speaker 2>there's a way you could do that. I'm not saying

0:15:38.880 --> 0:15:41.520
<v Speaker 2>to move away for a year, because that's not really

0:15:41.560 --> 0:15:43.280
<v Speaker 2>compatible for a lot of people.

0:15:43.360 --> 0:15:45.640
<v Speaker 1>It worked for us. Sure it's not gonna wait for everybody.

0:15:46.280 --> 0:15:48.840
<v Speaker 2>But if it's that you feel like you are missing

0:15:48.880 --> 0:15:51.240
<v Speaker 2>out on sex, or you're missing out on just random

0:15:51.280 --> 0:15:55.720
<v Speaker 2>hook ups or getting drunk and not coming home that night,

0:15:55.800 --> 0:15:57.360
<v Speaker 2>if that's what you feel like you're missing out on,

0:15:57.480 --> 0:16:00.280
<v Speaker 2>then yeah, you need to probably reassess your relationship. But

0:16:00.400 --> 0:16:02.080
<v Speaker 2>if it's just that you want to go and live

0:16:02.120 --> 0:16:04.480
<v Speaker 2>in a different city, talk to your partner. Maybe you

0:16:04.520 --> 0:16:06.720
<v Speaker 2>can go and live together. Maybe you could travel together,

0:16:06.800 --> 0:16:09.240
<v Speaker 2>maybe you could move overseas together. There are so many

0:16:09.280 --> 0:16:10.760
<v Speaker 2>other ways to fill a void.

0:16:11.240 --> 0:16:13.760
<v Speaker 1>You just need to nut out what your void is like.

0:16:13.880 --> 0:16:16.760
<v Speaker 1>On this podcast, I mean, we preach owning your single

0:16:16.840 --> 0:16:19.760
<v Speaker 1>life and like loving being on your own and being

0:16:19.800 --> 0:16:22.440
<v Speaker 1>able to enjoy your own company and being like strong

0:16:22.560 --> 0:16:25.120
<v Speaker 1>and independent, and I fully stand by that, but I

0:16:25.280 --> 0:16:27.960
<v Speaker 1>also want to preach that it is incredible to be

0:16:28.080 --> 0:16:31.040
<v Speaker 1>in a happy, loving and fulfilling relationship. Just because you

0:16:31.200 --> 0:16:33.320
<v Speaker 1>have settled down early or you have settled down now,

0:16:33.320 --> 0:16:35.560
<v Speaker 1>it doesn't mean that you're missing out on anything. You're

0:16:35.600 --> 0:16:38.680
<v Speaker 1>getting something different to what someone who is single is getting.

0:16:38.920 --> 0:16:41.280
<v Speaker 1>You haven't missed out on anything. Made The hookups aren't

0:16:41.320 --> 0:16:43.680
<v Speaker 1>that good? Yeah, like they are. They're for fun. Like,

0:16:43.720 --> 0:16:46.200
<v Speaker 1>don't get me wrong, it's fun. It's great fun. But

0:16:46.280 --> 0:16:48.800
<v Speaker 1>so is being in a relationship. And I have one

0:16:48.840 --> 0:16:51.680
<v Speaker 1>girlfriend of mine who has been with her partner since

0:16:51.720 --> 0:16:54.280
<v Speaker 1>she was seventeen, and she's now in her mid to

0:16:54.400 --> 0:16:56.320
<v Speaker 1>late twenties, so very similar aged to what you are,

0:16:56.800 --> 0:17:00.200
<v Speaker 1>and she's never been with anybody else, not sexually, not

0:17:00.280 --> 0:17:02.800
<v Speaker 1>in a relationship in note, he is her only partner.

0:17:03.160 --> 0:17:05.000
<v Speaker 1>And I remember when she was in her early twenties,

0:17:05.080 --> 0:17:06.520
<v Speaker 1>she kind of went through this period where she was

0:17:06.600 --> 0:17:08.760
<v Speaker 1>like have I like should I stay with him? Or

0:17:08.760 --> 0:17:11.040
<v Speaker 1>should I break up with him and go and explore

0:17:11.320 --> 0:17:14.760
<v Speaker 1>what the world is? You know? And she didn't because

0:17:14.920 --> 0:17:16.360
<v Speaker 1>she loved him, and at the end of the day,

0:17:16.400 --> 0:17:18.919
<v Speaker 1>you know, he was a really, really great partner to her.

0:17:19.400 --> 0:17:22.040
<v Speaker 1>It's just that in today's day and age, you don't

0:17:22.119 --> 0:17:23.920
<v Speaker 1>think that you're going to find your partner that young

0:17:24.040 --> 0:17:26.600
<v Speaker 1>because it's you. We're encouraged to go and like live

0:17:26.640 --> 0:17:30.919
<v Speaker 1>your best single life, but it's not necessarily everyone's journey.

0:17:31.080 --> 0:17:33.040
<v Speaker 1>And if yours is that you've met someone who's great,

0:17:33.119 --> 0:17:35.320
<v Speaker 1>then don't compare yourself to other people who are doing that.

0:17:35.480 --> 0:17:39.359
<v Speaker 2>I also think it's important to realize and remember that

0:17:40.200 --> 0:17:43.360
<v Speaker 2>even really healthy, long term couples that are in love

0:17:43.440 --> 0:17:46.080
<v Speaker 2>and so happy, it's normal to look at someone else

0:17:46.119 --> 0:17:47.680
<v Speaker 2>and be like, oh, I wonder what that would be, like, Oh,

0:17:47.760 --> 0:17:49.240
<v Speaker 2>they're attractive.

0:17:48.840 --> 0:17:50.040
<v Speaker 1>Or that's so normal.

0:17:50.400 --> 0:17:52.280
<v Speaker 2>And that doesn't mean, oh my god, should I break

0:17:52.359 --> 0:17:53.840
<v Speaker 2>up with my partner because I had this thought?

0:17:53.960 --> 0:17:56.320
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely not. Human nature is.

0:17:56.400 --> 0:18:01.879
<v Speaker 2>To always admire, look explore everything in life. So if

0:18:01.920 --> 0:18:03.640
<v Speaker 2>someone walks past you in the street and you're like, oh,

0:18:03.640 --> 0:18:05.600
<v Speaker 2>I wish I could have slept with him, that's cool.

0:18:05.680 --> 0:18:07.800
<v Speaker 1>You could think. You can think that to yourself absolutely

0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:09.720
<v Speaker 1>and still be in a loving relationship. You've been with

0:18:09.800 --> 0:18:13.359
<v Speaker 1>this person for four years. Like the crazy intensity of

0:18:13.720 --> 0:18:16.560
<v Speaker 1>feelings that you have, they come in ebbs and flows,

0:18:16.600 --> 0:18:18.359
<v Speaker 1>like there'll be some weeks where you don't love your

0:18:18.400 --> 0:18:20.560
<v Speaker 1>partner as much. That's normal, and then there'll be weeks

0:18:20.600 --> 0:18:22.640
<v Speaker 1>where you feel so incredibly in love, and you'll think,

0:18:22.680 --> 0:18:26.280
<v Speaker 1>how the hell did I ever question potentially being single?

0:18:26.640 --> 0:18:29.040
<v Speaker 1>Like that's crazy. But I think you just ride those

0:18:29.080 --> 0:18:32.119
<v Speaker 1>waves of emotions. Unless this feeling is a constant that

0:18:32.240 --> 0:18:34.960
<v Speaker 1>doesn't go away, that's when you really have to reassess

0:18:35.000 --> 0:18:37.760
<v Speaker 1>where you're at. But if it's not a constant, if

0:18:37.800 --> 0:18:40.879
<v Speaker 1>it's not this unwavering feeling, then I think put your

0:18:40.960 --> 0:18:43.520
<v Speaker 1>energy back into your relationship instead of putting your energy

0:18:43.600 --> 0:18:46.439
<v Speaker 1>into Have I missed out on something else I had?

0:18:46.760 --> 0:18:48.760
<v Speaker 2>Like you said your friend, I had a friend who

0:18:49.080 --> 0:18:52.919
<v Speaker 2>was with her partner forever, long term, loved each other,

0:18:52.960 --> 0:18:54.720
<v Speaker 2>adored each other. But she was having this feeling of

0:18:54.800 --> 0:18:57.680
<v Speaker 2>am I missing out on hooking up and just seeing

0:18:57.680 --> 0:19:00.640
<v Speaker 2>who who's in the world? And she do the opposite

0:19:00.680 --> 0:19:04.679
<v Speaker 2>of your friend, and she left. She very very quickly

0:19:04.800 --> 0:19:08.520
<v Speaker 2>realized that the grass was not greener. She said to me,

0:19:08.640 --> 0:19:12.040
<v Speaker 2>I just thought I would be meeting the most amazing

0:19:12.160 --> 0:19:14.280
<v Speaker 2>men and having so much fun and like hooking up

0:19:14.320 --> 0:19:16.320
<v Speaker 2>with them and like casually dating here and here, and

0:19:16.400 --> 0:19:20.280
<v Speaker 2>she's She's like, so far, I'm lonely. They're all assholes.

0:19:20.600 --> 0:19:22.440
<v Speaker 2>I feel bad when they don't swipe on me or

0:19:22.480 --> 0:19:24.520
<v Speaker 2>talk to me online dating, and she just had this

0:19:24.640 --> 0:19:27.560
<v Speaker 2>real slap in the face about what the other side was.

0:19:28.440 --> 0:19:30.720
<v Speaker 2>And I thought that was really interesting, and it's a

0:19:30.760 --> 0:19:35.040
<v Speaker 2>really good example of what we fantasize and romanticize in

0:19:35.160 --> 0:19:35.600
<v Speaker 2>our head.

0:19:36.359 --> 0:19:39.240
<v Speaker 1>It misses the mark of what reality actually is. Question

0:19:39.480 --> 0:19:40.359
<v Speaker 1>number three O.

0:19:40.400 --> 0:19:42.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, this is a different one, but this is like this.

0:19:42.880 --> 0:19:44.640
<v Speaker 2>I think a lot of people are going to really

0:19:44.680 --> 0:19:46.720
<v Speaker 2>relate to this. I have been with my partner for

0:19:46.760 --> 0:19:48.960
<v Speaker 2>two and a half years, and when we were together

0:19:49.000 --> 0:19:51.600
<v Speaker 2>friendly about six months, we got a puppy together. We

0:19:51.720 --> 0:19:54.720
<v Speaker 2>both loved the dog equally, but I've probably spent slightly

0:19:54.840 --> 0:19:56.680
<v Speaker 2>more time with it because I had more time in

0:19:56.720 --> 0:19:59.240
<v Speaker 2>the mornings to run with it. Also, I was on

0:19:59.320 --> 0:20:02.119
<v Speaker 2>the took at to puppy preschool. Having said that we

0:20:02.280 --> 0:20:06.280
<v Speaker 2>both love it equally, we have now split up who

0:20:06.760 --> 0:20:10.200
<v Speaker 2>takes the dog because we are fiercely fighting over this.

0:20:12.359 --> 0:20:15.680
<v Speaker 1>This is not a laughing matter, it's not, but very sorry.

0:20:16.200 --> 0:20:18.399
<v Speaker 1>I take this very seriously. I think this is going

0:20:18.480 --> 0:20:20.400
<v Speaker 1>to happen. I mean, think of how many so many

0:20:20.440 --> 0:20:23.439
<v Speaker 1>couples split and so many couples have dogs. I think

0:20:23.480 --> 0:20:25.119
<v Speaker 1>this is a question that's going to hit home to

0:20:25.160 --> 0:20:27.359
<v Speaker 1>a lot of people. Okay, so I have a strong

0:20:27.400 --> 0:20:29.679
<v Speaker 1>feeling towards this. Can I tell you what I think?

0:20:30.160 --> 0:20:31.520
<v Speaker 1>Are you going to go? I'm going to make You're

0:20:31.560 --> 0:20:34.280
<v Speaker 1>not taking my dog? No, I don't think that you

0:20:34.359 --> 0:20:37.480
<v Speaker 1>can co parent a dog. I think that co parenting

0:20:37.600 --> 0:20:42.320
<v Speaker 1>an animal puts unnecessary strain on your ability to sever

0:20:42.440 --> 0:20:45.080
<v Speaker 1>the relationships. So instead of being able to have no contact,

0:20:45.119 --> 0:20:47.840
<v Speaker 1>which is something that we preach on this podcast, when

0:20:47.840 --> 0:20:49.359
<v Speaker 1>you go through a breakup, you need to have a

0:20:49.440 --> 0:20:51.639
<v Speaker 1>period of time where you do not speak to your partner,

0:20:51.800 --> 0:20:54.879
<v Speaker 1>your ex partner, and that is really imperative for your

0:20:54.920 --> 0:20:58.240
<v Speaker 1>own personal healing. So I think co parenting a dog

0:20:58.520 --> 0:21:00.240
<v Speaker 1>that cancels that out. It means that you have to

0:21:00.280 --> 0:21:02.040
<v Speaker 1>speak to them every week or every two weeks or

0:21:02.080 --> 0:21:05.119
<v Speaker 1>whatever it is. So I think initially one of you

0:21:05.240 --> 0:21:07.840
<v Speaker 1>has to take the dog and the other person has

0:21:07.960 --> 0:21:11.080
<v Speaker 1>to relinquish that. How you decide on that, I think

0:21:11.119 --> 0:21:13.000
<v Speaker 1>that that decision has to be made based on what's

0:21:13.040 --> 0:21:16.760
<v Speaker 1>best for the dog. So whoever has the yard, whoever

0:21:16.920 --> 0:21:20.040
<v Speaker 1>has the working hours, whoever has the capacity to better

0:21:20.080 --> 0:21:22.720
<v Speaker 1>take care of the dog, then unfortunately, there needs to

0:21:22.800 --> 0:21:24.600
<v Speaker 1>just be a decision that's made that is a little

0:21:24.600 --> 0:21:27.560
<v Speaker 1>bit selfless in this, and that's the person who takes

0:21:27.600 --> 0:21:30.520
<v Speaker 1>the dog. But for both of your personal healing and development,

0:21:31.119 --> 0:21:35.280
<v Speaker 1>you cannot co parent at the beginning. I have actually

0:21:35.640 --> 0:21:38.600
<v Speaker 1>there my thoughts. Boom boom, Mike drop take it. I'm

0:21:38.600 --> 0:21:40.080
<v Speaker 1>out of here. I'm gonna go pull myself a whine.

0:21:40.160 --> 0:21:41.800
<v Speaker 1>Well not yeah, you can get a one while I talk,

0:21:41.880 --> 0:21:42.800
<v Speaker 1>and I'll pretend you just to hear.

0:21:45.040 --> 0:21:48.240
<v Speaker 2>I have been in this exact situation, so I have

0:21:48.320 --> 0:21:51.160
<v Speaker 2>a lot of feels and opinions about it. The same

0:21:51.240 --> 0:21:53.760
<v Speaker 2>partner I just spoke about in the earlier question. I

0:21:53.880 --> 0:21:55.560
<v Speaker 2>was with him for eight years, four years deep, and

0:21:55.640 --> 0:21:56.440
<v Speaker 2>I moved overseas.

0:21:56.920 --> 0:21:57.360
<v Speaker 1>Same guy.

0:21:58.119 --> 0:22:03.760
<v Speaker 2>We got two dogs together when I was twenty he

0:22:03.880 --> 0:22:06.639
<v Speaker 2>was twenty four, so had we had the dogs together

0:22:06.840 --> 0:22:10.400
<v Speaker 2>for four years. We had a house together and all

0:22:10.480 --> 0:22:14.480
<v Speaker 2>that jazz. When we split up, he kept the house

0:22:14.520 --> 0:22:17.800
<v Speaker 2>and I moved out, so the dogs at the start

0:22:17.920 --> 0:22:20.000
<v Speaker 2>stayed with the house because that's what made sense. The

0:22:20.080 --> 0:22:21.560
<v Speaker 2>house was on the beach and the house had a

0:22:21.600 --> 0:22:22.439
<v Speaker 2>really big yard, and.

0:22:22.640 --> 0:22:24.639
<v Speaker 1>That was what made sense. But we did the co

0:22:24.960 --> 0:22:26.440
<v Speaker 1>parenting thing for quite a while.

0:22:26.520 --> 0:22:30.520
<v Speaker 2>Because if you really really know me, well, you will

0:22:30.560 --> 0:22:33.520
<v Speaker 2>know I'm obsessed with dogs, and it's like ripping my

0:22:33.600 --> 0:22:35.280
<v Speaker 2>heart out right now that I can't have one. I've

0:22:35.320 --> 0:22:38.359
<v Speaker 2>never not had one. So I went to see them

0:22:38.720 --> 0:22:40.239
<v Speaker 2>most days and I would just go and pick them

0:22:40.320 --> 0:22:41.720
<v Speaker 2>up and run with them, and we tried this co

0:22:41.960 --> 0:22:44.120
<v Speaker 2>parenting thing and it was awful.

0:22:44.400 --> 0:22:47.680
<v Speaker 1>I loved my time with my dogs. But I remember

0:22:47.720 --> 0:22:48.760
<v Speaker 1>one day going over.

0:22:48.680 --> 0:22:50.840
<v Speaker 2>There to pick them up and there was a girl

0:22:50.920 --> 0:22:54.080
<v Speaker 2>there because he'd started seeing someone, and it just tore

0:22:54.200 --> 0:22:54.679
<v Speaker 2>I hate him.

0:22:55.720 --> 0:22:58.400
<v Speaker 1>He was a great guy. Actually he is a great guy,

0:22:59.600 --> 0:23:02.120
<v Speaker 1>but it tore my heart out. But I still took

0:23:02.160 --> 0:23:03.880
<v Speaker 1>them and I continued to do that, and I kept

0:23:03.920 --> 0:23:06.400
<v Speaker 1>seeing him with his other relationship or whatever he was doing,

0:23:06.640 --> 0:23:11.320
<v Speaker 1>and I quickly realized that I had to savertize. Then

0:23:11.359 --> 0:23:13.399
<v Speaker 1>I had to make the decision of who takes the dogs.

0:23:13.520 --> 0:23:15.440
<v Speaker 1>I definitely was the one that got the dogs in

0:23:15.480 --> 0:23:17.240
<v Speaker 1>the first place. I loved the dogs. I wanted the

0:23:17.280 --> 0:23:18.400
<v Speaker 1>dogs more than anything.

0:23:19.280 --> 0:23:21.800
<v Speaker 2>But the fact of the matter was he was keeping

0:23:21.840 --> 0:23:23.920
<v Speaker 2>our house with the yard on the beach, and he

0:23:24.080 --> 0:23:25.679
<v Speaker 2>was like an adventure man. I knew he would look

0:23:25.680 --> 0:23:28.520
<v Speaker 2>after them and run them every day. They were border Collies,

0:23:28.600 --> 0:23:31.840
<v Speaker 2>so like so much energy I was moving to Sydney

0:23:31.880 --> 0:23:35.159
<v Speaker 2>to a smaller apartment. I wanted to take them, and

0:23:35.200 --> 0:23:37.560
<v Speaker 2>I could have taken them, but I knew that their

0:23:37.640 --> 0:23:41.080
<v Speaker 2>life would be better to stay with him, and I

0:23:41.200 --> 0:23:42.920
<v Speaker 2>made the decision. And I cried for weeks and weeks

0:23:42.920 --> 0:23:44.920
<v Speaker 2>and weeks and weeks, but I made the decision for

0:23:45.000 --> 0:23:49.240
<v Speaker 2>the dogs. So I think, ultimately, you need to do

0:23:49.320 --> 0:23:53.200
<v Speaker 2>what's right for the animal at the time, and whatever

0:23:53.280 --> 0:23:54.720
<v Speaker 2>that's going to be, maybe you are gonna have to

0:23:54.720 --> 0:23:56.720
<v Speaker 2>say goodbye. And I say that like, I don't say

0:23:56.760 --> 0:23:59.480
<v Speaker 2>that easily because I was obsessed, and I was obsessed

0:23:59.480 --> 0:24:00.840
<v Speaker 2>and I one of them is still alive.

0:24:00.920 --> 0:24:03.880
<v Speaker 1>She's thirteen and I still look at pictures of her.

0:24:04.880 --> 0:24:09.040
<v Speaker 1>She instad dogs the dog. But also I think ladies

0:24:09.080 --> 0:24:14.640
<v Speaker 1>and gentlemen stay woke because people use animals to emotionally manipulate.

0:24:14.720 --> 0:24:16.280
<v Speaker 1>So and when I say this, and I know that

0:24:16.520 --> 0:24:19.200
<v Speaker 1>this sounds like I'm being crazy, but I think that

0:24:19.840 --> 0:24:23.800
<v Speaker 1>having a shared animal can turn into an emotional bargaining

0:24:23.880 --> 0:24:27.160
<v Speaker 1>tool where if one person isn't ready to actually split

0:24:27.240 --> 0:24:28.880
<v Speaker 1>with the other person, or if one person is still

0:24:28.960 --> 0:24:31.840
<v Speaker 1>trying to get in contact with it becomes very easy

0:24:31.920 --> 0:24:34.040
<v Speaker 1>then for that person to continue to access your life,

0:24:34.400 --> 0:24:37.480
<v Speaker 1>and so you don't want to allow your ex to

0:24:37.640 --> 0:24:40.440
<v Speaker 1>have an emotional bargaining tool over anything to do with

0:24:40.480 --> 0:24:43.080
<v Speaker 1>your life. You really need to sever that relationship. And

0:24:43.240 --> 0:24:45.880
<v Speaker 1>unless it's children, which is very very different, Like we're

0:24:45.920 --> 0:24:48.360
<v Speaker 1>not going to bundle pets and children into the same category,

0:24:48.440 --> 0:24:50.679
<v Speaker 1>even though I understand that there is an intense emotional

0:24:50.720 --> 0:24:52.520
<v Speaker 1>connection to your pets. Like I have a dog. I

0:24:53.480 --> 0:24:57.040
<v Speaker 1>can only imagine how heartbreaking that would be to have

0:24:57.200 --> 0:24:59.159
<v Speaker 1>to allow matt to take my would never happen. I

0:24:59.160 --> 0:25:02.000
<v Speaker 1>would get the dog real, but you would get everything.

0:25:04.119 --> 0:25:06.080
<v Speaker 1>Don't even think about it, Matthew Johnson. But no, But

0:25:06.640 --> 0:25:10.680
<v Speaker 1>but I really really strongly think that it's very difficult

0:25:10.720 --> 0:25:14.159
<v Speaker 1>to co parent an animal. And I know people who

0:25:14.200 --> 0:25:17.200
<v Speaker 1>have done it, and they've all every single person I

0:25:17.320 --> 0:25:18.800
<v Speaker 1>know who has done it, it has worked out the

0:25:18.880 --> 0:25:21.560
<v Speaker 1>same way. After five months or six months or whatever

0:25:21.640 --> 0:25:24.720
<v Speaker 1>period it is, one person has decided that they're not

0:25:24.840 --> 0:25:26.440
<v Speaker 1>going to take the dog, They're gonna they're going to

0:25:26.480 --> 0:25:28.280
<v Speaker 1>give it to the other person. There's always somebody who

0:25:28.320 --> 0:25:30.359
<v Speaker 1>backs down on it. Because you cannot co parent an

0:25:30.359 --> 0:25:34.480
<v Speaker 1>animal indefinitely for ten years, ten years, like it just

0:25:34.640 --> 0:25:37.320
<v Speaker 1>means that you're ex unless you've stayed friends, unless you're

0:25:37.400 --> 0:25:40.879
<v Speaker 1>totally on this crazily amazing platonic level, which is just

0:25:41.080 --> 0:25:44.200
<v Speaker 1>props to you, that's incredible. Unless you're there, then I

0:25:44.240 --> 0:25:46.800
<v Speaker 1>think it's impossible to do because breakups are fucking hard.

0:25:46.920 --> 0:25:50.040
<v Speaker 1>They hurt, and I think you just have to cut

0:25:50.119 --> 0:25:51.520
<v Speaker 1>a sever and cut the ties.

0:25:51.640 --> 0:25:54.280
<v Speaker 2>So do you know this is something and this is

0:25:54.320 --> 0:25:56.200
<v Speaker 2>not for everybody, But I'm going to tell you this

0:25:56.320 --> 0:25:59.440
<v Speaker 2>crazy story of what we did when we split, and

0:25:59.520 --> 0:26:01.760
<v Speaker 2>I said, you take them and look after them and

0:26:01.840 --> 0:26:02.440
<v Speaker 2>whatever else.

0:26:03.080 --> 0:26:06.520
<v Speaker 1>I said, don't ever hesitate to call me for when

0:26:06.600 --> 0:26:08.359
<v Speaker 1>they need an operation or they need a vet.

0:26:08.280 --> 0:26:11.280
<v Speaker 2>Bill, and I'll split it because part of me was like,

0:26:11.600 --> 0:26:12.920
<v Speaker 2>you're not going to live with me, but I want

0:26:12.960 --> 0:26:15.720
<v Speaker 2>the best for these dogs. And if he was ever

0:26:15.760 --> 0:26:17.960
<v Speaker 2>in a position where the dogs needed something and he

0:26:17.960 --> 0:26:20.680
<v Speaker 2>couldn't afford it, I was like, always call me because

0:26:20.720 --> 0:26:22.680
<v Speaker 2>I might not have seen you all the dogs for years,

0:26:22.720 --> 0:26:25.119
<v Speaker 2>but I will, I will look after them. And it

0:26:25.240 --> 0:26:27.080
<v Speaker 2>was to the point that we did that if it

0:26:27.160 --> 0:26:29.879
<v Speaker 2>ever needed anything, he would give me a buzz for

0:26:29.960 --> 0:26:32.800
<v Speaker 2>the big things, not for little things. And it was

0:26:32.880 --> 0:26:35.240
<v Speaker 2>only two years ago we had been split for seven

0:26:35.320 --> 0:26:40.359
<v Speaker 2>years and he called me in Scotland in the middle

0:26:40.359 --> 0:26:40.639
<v Speaker 2>of the night.

0:26:40.680 --> 0:26:41.600
<v Speaker 1>I was living in Scotland.

0:26:41.680 --> 0:26:44.080
<v Speaker 2>He called me and I hadn't spoken to him in years,

0:26:44.200 --> 0:26:45.680
<v Speaker 2>and I just knew it would be about the dogs

0:26:46.080 --> 0:26:48.560
<v Speaker 2>seven years and he said, britt we need to make

0:26:48.600 --> 0:26:49.120
<v Speaker 2>a decision.

0:26:49.720 --> 0:26:52.119
<v Speaker 1>Mia is sick, my border colleague me is sick. We

0:26:52.200 --> 0:26:54.040
<v Speaker 1>need to make a decision together on what to do

0:26:54.640 --> 0:26:57.280
<v Speaker 1>do We put it down and I just I was so.

0:26:57.480 --> 0:26:59.879
<v Speaker 2>Grateful in that moment that I know it sounds crazy

0:27:00.000 --> 0:27:01.840
<v Speaker 2>and a lot of people, unless you're a crazy dog lady,

0:27:01.880 --> 0:27:04.200
<v Speaker 2>you won't understand. I was so grateful that he called

0:27:04.240 --> 0:27:06.440
<v Speaker 2>me and gave me the opportunity to make the decision.

0:27:07.040 --> 0:27:09.879
<v Speaker 2>Turns out the decision was taken from us. We had

0:27:09.920 --> 0:27:11.679
<v Speaker 2>to put it down within like fifteen minutes of him

0:27:11.720 --> 0:27:14.760
<v Speaker 2>calling me. But the fact that he still knew how

0:27:15.200 --> 0:27:16.840
<v Speaker 2>important that was to me to call and say, I

0:27:16.920 --> 0:27:19.040
<v Speaker 2>want you to know that this is what's happening. I'll

0:27:19.040 --> 0:27:19.880
<v Speaker 2>be forever grateful.

0:27:19.960 --> 0:27:22.680
<v Speaker 1>So I know that that's an exception to the rule,

0:27:22.840 --> 0:27:24.760
<v Speaker 1>and the way that we handled it was different, but

0:27:24.920 --> 0:27:27.240
<v Speaker 1>there are so many different ways to do it, but direct,

0:27:27.520 --> 0:27:30.680
<v Speaker 1>direct co parenting for me is I'm gonna say no,

0:27:31.359 --> 0:27:34.960
<v Speaker 1>and ultimately you make the best decision for the dog. Amen,

0:27:35.280 --> 0:27:38.240
<v Speaker 1>I love, we agree. Wait, I just got amotion. I

0:27:38.280 --> 0:27:40.040
<v Speaker 1>know Britt was about to cry. I was about to

0:27:40.080 --> 0:27:43.080
<v Speaker 1>cry my dogs. Seeing her eyes well up like this

0:27:43.280 --> 0:27:46.000
<v Speaker 1>is very close to home conversation. She was my best friend.

0:27:46.160 --> 0:27:49.560
<v Speaker 1>So anyway, that's it. Anyway conversation over all. Right, Well

0:27:49.880 --> 0:27:52.400
<v Speaker 1>that was a really uplifting way to end the episode. Guys,

0:27:52.480 --> 0:27:55.720
<v Speaker 1>You're welcome. I'm not saying you guys need any more

0:27:55.840 --> 0:27:57.919
<v Speaker 1>doom and gloom in your life. With everything that's happening,

0:27:58.040 --> 0:28:00.159
<v Speaker 1>Britta needs a cuddle, not even a virtual cuddle, what

0:28:00.320 --> 0:28:00.800
<v Speaker 1>real cuddle.

0:28:00.880 --> 0:28:02.920
<v Speaker 2>Watch this space because I will be getting a dog

0:28:03.080 --> 0:28:05.280
<v Speaker 2>so soon. The time has come in my life where

0:28:05.359 --> 0:28:08.280
<v Speaker 2>I can't not have a dog anymore. I need someone

0:28:08.400 --> 0:28:10.320
<v Speaker 2>to pull my love onto and I need love from

0:28:10.320 --> 0:28:12.199
<v Speaker 2>an animal. So I have made the decision to get

0:28:12.240 --> 0:28:14.440
<v Speaker 2>a dog. How that's gonna happen, I don't know when

0:28:14.480 --> 0:28:15.080
<v Speaker 2>that's gonna happen.

0:28:15.160 --> 0:28:17.400
<v Speaker 1>But you watch this space now. If it is using

0:28:17.440 --> 0:28:20.480
<v Speaker 1>the podcast as her therapy session, this is great. You

0:28:20.520 --> 0:28:22.760
<v Speaker 1>can pay me after this or this is finished. Can

0:28:22.840 --> 0:28:25.480
<v Speaker 1>you please slip me a fifty someone. Yeah, but not

0:28:25.600 --> 0:28:29.560
<v Speaker 1>for that. Okay, guys, thank you so much to every

0:28:29.600 --> 0:28:32.320
<v Speaker 1>single person who has written in a question for Ask Uncut.

0:28:32.760 --> 0:28:35.280
<v Speaker 1>If you have a question for next week, we promise

0:28:35.320 --> 0:28:38.160
<v Speaker 1>to do our absolute best answer. Then we may be unqualified,

0:28:38.240 --> 0:28:41.800
<v Speaker 1>but our advice comes with such heartfelt enthusiasm that I

0:28:41.840 --> 0:28:43.720
<v Speaker 1>think it makes up for it. So you can slide

0:28:43.760 --> 0:28:47.360
<v Speaker 1>into our dms at Life Uncut podcast on Instagram, or

0:28:47.400 --> 0:28:50.400
<v Speaker 1>you can send us a direct message on Facebook, which

0:28:50.440 --> 0:28:53.640
<v Speaker 1>is also Life Uncut Podcast, and if you haven't already,

0:28:54.440 --> 0:28:57.560
<v Speaker 1>sign up to the discussion group. Guys, I hope this

0:28:57.640 --> 0:28:58.440
<v Speaker 1>makes you realize too.

0:28:58.560 --> 0:29:02.520
<v Speaker 2>There's no type of question or genre of question that

0:29:02.920 --> 0:29:06.680
<v Speaker 2>is off limits here. So it might be family, life, travel, relationship,

0:29:07.240 --> 0:29:09.600
<v Speaker 2>sex question. Laura just wants the sex, but I want

0:29:09.600 --> 0:29:10.400
<v Speaker 2>the dog questions.

0:29:11.200 --> 0:29:13.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I know, Britt does the picking of the questions.

0:29:13.480 --> 0:29:15.520
<v Speaker 1>You know, when I'm here for the dog questions, doggy

0:29:15.560 --> 0:29:19.120
<v Speaker 1>style questions, you come at me. I'm going to end

0:29:19.120 --> 0:29:21.000
<v Speaker 1>it there because I can't deal with Laura anymore. You

0:29:21.080 --> 0:29:24.000
<v Speaker 1>know the drill if he loved it here that starts,

0:29:24.120 --> 0:29:27.840
<v Speaker 1>tell your friends subscribe and share the love because we

0:29:28.080 --> 0:29:33.800
<v Speaker 1>love la you two. So what was that we love

0:29:34.280 --> 0:29:34.560
<v Speaker 1>love