WEBVTT - Daycare Drug Mules

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<v Speaker 1>Do tell me lah do me definitely need to do

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<v Speaker 1>a music video. Yeah, oh no, no to me laugh,

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<v Speaker 1>tell me to me Lae.

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<v Speaker 2>Welcome back to Two Doting Dads. My name is Matty

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<v Speaker 2>Jane and this is a podcast all about parenting. It's

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<v Speaker 2>the good, the bad, and the relatable. And if you

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<v Speaker 2>have come here hoping wishing that you may get some

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<v Speaker 2>level of advice, no chance, no sorry. But if you

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<v Speaker 2>want to laugh at Two Dads.

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<v Speaker 1>You keep no idea, make a mistake.

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<v Speaker 2>I then get comfortable.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, absolutely, settle in for I don't know how long

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<v Speaker 1>this episode is going to go for it this stage.

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<v Speaker 1>Settle in for chaos. I got nothing. I'm just gonna

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<v Speaker 1>let Matt ste this one. I'm just gonna nod politely

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<v Speaker 1>for the hour.

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<v Speaker 2>Was ashes Mike not turned on. No, he was just

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<v Speaker 2>having a bit of a down to day.

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<v Speaker 1>He was just nodding, just nothing, but nodding, what do

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<v Speaker 1>you mean.

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<v Speaker 2>As we were walking back from a little coffee run

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<v Speaker 2>this morning before we started recording, a lady in a pram.

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<v Speaker 2>As we were passing her, she just looked at us,

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<v Speaker 2>gave us a smile and said, I love the podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, And well I didn't know what to say.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I was like, oh, I'm gonna mention this on

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<v Speaker 2>the podcast. You never grab a name. That's the first

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<v Speaker 2>time it's ever happened for you. Alright, you legend.

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<v Speaker 1>Big dog over here. I've got a lot of fans. Man,

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<v Speaker 1>It's happened to me once in the shop, once or twice.

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<v Speaker 1>It's in the shop and someone's actually said, oh, like,

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<v Speaker 1>I love the podcast. Great, how did you ad? I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, fuck off your peasants. No. I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>obviously very grateful, Like that's great. I love that. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>just waiting for someone to come and be like, your

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<v Speaker 1>podcast sucks. No one thinks you're funny.

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<v Speaker 2>You fuck with it'll happen. It'll happen to trains on

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<v Speaker 2>the way up and we're enjoying the ride.

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<v Speaker 1>I actually had a guy say to me. He's a

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<v Speaker 1>friend of a friend, and he said to me, after

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<v Speaker 1>a few beers in a bit of banter because we

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<v Speaker 1>went opposite football teams, he said to me, I thought

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<v Speaker 1>you'd be funny when he met me. He said, I

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<v Speaker 1>thought you'd be funny. My wife and I thought you'd

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<v Speaker 1>be funny, but you're obviously not. And my mate chimed

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<v Speaker 1>in and I said, you're one of those guys who

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<v Speaker 1>asked comedians to tell them a joke, can't you? Because

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<v Speaker 1>what am I supposed to be funny all the fucking time? No?

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<v Speaker 2>Who is this person? Someone did say there's a funny

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<v Speaker 2>one between you and me.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm definitely you, and I don't know. I'm the sweet,

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<v Speaker 1>loving kind one.

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<v Speaker 2>But they said, I'm not going to mention who was.

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<v Speaker 2>Then I'm just gonna leave it like that.

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<v Speaker 1>We're going we've got to stoush it out.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, who's the funny one. They also said that I

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<v Speaker 2>swear more, which was a surprise to them, which.

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<v Speaker 1>I think is yeah, look I do a lot under

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<v Speaker 1>my breath. Yeah, very good at hiding though.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you've really dialed back the swearing. Yeah, who the

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<v Speaker 2>fuck are you?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm maturing.

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<v Speaker 2>I wonder if roles will become reverse, Like in six

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<v Speaker 2>months time, hopefully we're still here, it'll be the pis

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<v Speaker 2>head and I'll be the athlete, ye, and you're there,

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<v Speaker 2>like I loved or your DMS.

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<v Speaker 1>I can't. I'm trying to just do the odd one.

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<v Speaker 1>So people were like, they're like, oh my god, that's responded,

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<v Speaker 1>and it feels more special. I'm more of that sort

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<v Speaker 1>of person where I treat you mean, keep king, do

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<v Speaker 1>you know what you're needy?

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<v Speaker 2>Guilty? Yeah, And this will make it sound like I'm

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<v Speaker 2>just trying to toot my own horn here ash, which

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<v Speaker 2>is not the case.

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<v Speaker 1>Once an episode's okay, But.

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<v Speaker 2>Someone messaged us on two doting dads and asked for

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<v Speaker 2>help on how to use an editing app called Splice,

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<v Speaker 2>and I was like, send me a photo of the problem,

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<v Speaker 2>and I troubleshot the problem. I'm now like it support

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<v Speaker 2>tech support for because that's what we fucking need to do.

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<v Speaker 1>Encourage it. You're just going to get people, especially it's

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<v Speaker 1>a community.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm building the community of people. And hey, if you

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<v Speaker 2>need help with your computer, if you need help with

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<v Speaker 2>editing a video, now come this way. This guy, Hey,

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<v Speaker 2>don't know what to cook for dinner? Ask me.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't mind that I would like to see that

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<v Speaker 1>because I would.

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<v Speaker 2>No matter what the request, I am here to help.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god. Okay, Well I'm not.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, And that's fine. That's fine because people know that

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<v Speaker 2>they message us at the standard, they already know that

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<v Speaker 2>you're not reading at.

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<v Speaker 1>The start of the message, like obviously this is not

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<v Speaker 1>for aDNA. Look, I'm the more interactive in person sort

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<v Speaker 1>of one. Yes, I don't know, Yeah I am, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know what I am. Matthew better be here. They've

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<v Speaker 1>been running competition all through July finding bitcoins in cans.

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<v Speaker 2>Have you found a bit coin and just not told me?

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<v Speaker 1>Yes? I have, but we'll talk about that later. In

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<v Speaker 1>addition to that, though, there's actually a third bit coin.

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<v Speaker 1>There's three, There is three.

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<v Speaker 2>Three getting round.

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<v Speaker 1>This third one's a bit more of a lottery. So

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<v Speaker 1>if you buy a Better Beer from any participating bar

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<v Speaker 1>throughout July, you'll receive a scratch card with a unique code. Now, Matthew,

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<v Speaker 1>all you need to do is upload the information from

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<v Speaker 1>that scratch card into the Winter Bitcoin page at Betterbeer

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<v Speaker 1>dot Com TODAYU and presto, you're in the drier.

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<v Speaker 2>Question for you, Ash, could I enter let's say, like

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<v Speaker 2>six times in a day? Is that possible?

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<v Speaker 1>No? You can only enter once a day for the

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<v Speaker 1>month of July. And I didn't even know that you

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<v Speaker 1>could do this through a bar. I thought it was

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<v Speaker 1>just a can. So I'm just at home cracking open cans.

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<v Speaker 2>So now you're going to have to have like one

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<v Speaker 2>beer at home, then one in the pub.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, because that's me answering every day.

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<v Speaker 2>It's an investment. I'm not doing it because I just

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<v Speaker 2>love the taste of better Beer. I'm doing it because

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<v Speaker 2>I want to deposit for a house.

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely. And of course they've created a tap locator on

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<v Speaker 1>their website. So if you go to betterb dot com

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<v Speaker 1>dot the U forward slash pages forward slash win our

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<v Speaker 1>Bitcoin Australia.

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<v Speaker 2>Now, we do have to say that if you live

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<v Speaker 2>in the States of South Australia ACT or NT, you

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<v Speaker 2>picked the wrong states.

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<v Speaker 1>To live in and move immediately.

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<v Speaker 2>They are the ninety states and you can't be involved.

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<v Speaker 2>For everybody else, good luck. You look a little bit

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<v Speaker 2>tanned today, been in the sun, been out and about.

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<v Speaker 1>I tried to serve yesterday, but honestly, motivation levels were

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<v Speaker 1>low yesterday. And I did tell you that it happened

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<v Speaker 1>again yesterday.

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<v Speaker 2>What you shoot yourself?

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<v Speaker 1>No no, no, no, no, no no no. The paper

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<v Speaker 1>bag incident. It's fuck this one because like I just

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<v Speaker 1>a ducked in to get dinner stuff for the week,

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<v Speaker 1>one beautiful paper bags worth middle of the shopping center

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<v Speaker 1>and I heard it go before I could stop it,

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<v Speaker 1>and the handle just went straight off and it fucking

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<v Speaker 1>spread out everywhere. Well, like you heard the strain of

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<v Speaker 1>the p it went boom.

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<v Speaker 2>I imagine that's what it would have sounded like on

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<v Speaker 2>the sub that was going down to the Titanic. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>just that moment it's about to fucking happen.

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<v Speaker 1>Implosion. Yeah, next thing and this look. Arguably this is

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<v Speaker 1>worse than the submarine.

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<v Speaker 2>I'd say, on part what did you lose? Grow through?

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<v Speaker 2>Wise because you didn't even pick him up?

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<v Speaker 1>No, idd in the end, it did. I honestly, deep

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<v Speaker 1>breath in. It was sy hands on knees, defeated man

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<v Speaker 1>in the middle of a shopping center, and not one

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<v Speaker 1>motherfucker helped me pick this shit up.

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<v Speaker 2>Why would anyone help you?

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<v Speaker 1>That's fair not I mean, like you just if you.

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<v Speaker 2>Had a child in arm, then it warrants.

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<v Speaker 1>Some just a kay Karen his groceries.

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<v Speaker 2>Let me ask you this. If you saw a young

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<v Speaker 2>man on his hands and knees trying to reach for

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<v Speaker 2>the pasta and the sauce and there's an apple that's

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<v Speaker 2>rolling away, would you stop and help?

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely? Fuck I'd probably take a photo of him, motherfucker. Yeah, pathetic,

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<v Speaker 1>But I carried it. I just literally stacked it up,

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<v Speaker 1>put it back in the bag, but carried it like

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<v Speaker 1>I was carrying like a had like a dead body.

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<v Speaker 2>Did you get home, walk inside your house and then

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<v Speaker 2>you start crying.

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<v Speaker 1>Well it was fun because I just go off the

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<v Speaker 1>phone to you and I was telling you how much

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<v Speaker 1>of a sad boy day I was having, just a

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<v Speaker 1>little Monday sad boy day.

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<v Speaker 2>Was it the fact that mainly keep losing every game.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want to talk about that. No, we hang

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<v Speaker 1>on a minute. We beat the Roosters, just it was

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<v Speaker 1>a rollercoaster of a game, and then we lose to

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<v Speaker 1>the Cowboys. Cowboys are red hot at the moment, so

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<v Speaker 1>fair enough. I'm not that upset about it. Honestly, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't remember most of the game because I was hammured.

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<v Speaker 1>But yeah, look it's just a bit of sad boy Monday.

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<v Speaker 1>Then I had to get back in the car and

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<v Speaker 1>ring you up and tell you what happened again, because

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<v Speaker 1>it was sad.

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<v Speaker 2>The hardest thing about those phone calls from you, the

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<v Speaker 2>fact that we're so far up heart, you know, we're

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<v Speaker 2>a fifty minute drive.

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<v Speaker 1>Come and to hug me, and all I want to do.

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<v Speaker 2>Is just have you in my arm, hold you time

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<v Speaker 2>that's and whisper in your ear. It's going to be okay.

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<v Speaker 1>Actually I wanted to. This is completely off topic, but

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<v Speaker 1>it's back on topic of parenting.

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<v Speaker 2>What is it now?

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<v Speaker 1>Do your kids try and take their toys to kindy ah?

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<v Speaker 1>Why they've got a whole kindy full of them. I

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<v Speaker 1>get that they want to show it off. Get that totally.

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<v Speaker 1>And we got an email, like the community got an email,

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<v Speaker 1>not just not just like hey, Oskar's done reply or

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<v Speaker 1>your reply. He's not stealing toys. He's actually bringing toys

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<v Speaker 1>to you in and leaving them here.

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<v Speaker 2>Because do you what's your policy there with the daycare?

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<v Speaker 2>Do they give you, like any instructions on what you

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<v Speaker 2>can and can't bring?

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<v Speaker 1>They just like, don't bring your toys. And that's a

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<v Speaker 1>fair call because you know, then they get possessed over

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<v Speaker 1>there toys. There's fights like Oscar, he's left toys there before,

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<v Speaker 1>and then it's a big drama. We get home and

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<v Speaker 1>then it's like some other kids taken it home.

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<v Speaker 2>There's nothing worse. Shoots me to tears when it comes

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<v Speaker 2>time to put in the kids to bed, and Marley

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<v Speaker 2>will be like where's my unicorn? And she's left it

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<v Speaker 2>at daycare and then always wants the one that she's

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<v Speaker 2>got like fucking ten toys on rotation, and it's just

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<v Speaker 2>always the one that she wants, which isn't in the house.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Oscar, when he was a little bit younger, used

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<v Speaker 1>to sleep with every toy he owned, And I will

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<v Speaker 1>find this photo for you of his cot. There's no

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<v Speaker 1>room for him in there, but he insisted, and he

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<v Speaker 1>had every single one and he used to line them

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<v Speaker 1>up like perfectly.

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<v Speaker 2>I've seen on stories on Instagram he gets his little

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<v Speaker 2>cars and he lines up his cars. Was he doing

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<v Speaker 2>that in the cot with the cars?

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<v Speaker 1>With cars everything?

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<v Speaker 2>So he's not gone for like a Teddy Bear.

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<v Speaker 1>He had the Teddy Bears in there too. They have

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<v Speaker 1>their own section. I'll find the photo for you. April

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<v Speaker 1>definitely has the photo because we were like, we need

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<v Speaker 1>to stop because it just he just kept a king

0:11:00.040 --> 0:11:03.160
<v Speaker 1>emulating he was a hoarder in the bed and then

0:11:03.200 --> 0:11:05.720
<v Speaker 1>eventually we were like, okay, you can have one or two,

0:11:05.880 --> 0:11:07.280
<v Speaker 1>and like now he has one or two when he

0:11:07.280 --> 0:11:09.360
<v Speaker 1>goes to bed, but the going to the KINDI he

0:11:09.400 --> 0:11:12.040
<v Speaker 1>wants to take something. He's like Can I take this? No?

0:11:12.200 --> 0:11:14.640
<v Speaker 1>Can I take this? And April and I don't line

0:11:14.720 --> 0:11:17.160
<v Speaker 1>up on the yes and no sometimes where.

0:11:17.080 --> 0:11:18.920
<v Speaker 2>It's so hard you want to take the path of

0:11:19.080 --> 0:11:20.040
<v Speaker 2>lease resistance.

0:11:20.880 --> 0:11:24.280
<v Speaker 1>Yes, he'll play us off each other. Now where he'd

0:11:24.320 --> 0:11:27.080
<v Speaker 1>be like Mummy said I can, and I'm like, did

0:11:27.160 --> 0:11:29.559
<v Speaker 1>you Well, Mummy's not in charge and April's in the

0:11:29.559 --> 0:11:33.880
<v Speaker 1>background in charge. But it's got to the point where

0:11:33.920 --> 0:11:37.040
<v Speaker 1>I have to frisk my own kid before letting them

0:11:37.120 --> 0:11:42.920
<v Speaker 1>into the kindy. I'm doing the pat down. And yesterday

0:11:42.960 --> 0:11:46.720
<v Speaker 1>he got away with one that have parted, so he

0:11:46.800 --> 0:11:48.560
<v Speaker 1>got he had a kind of surprise to him. What

0:11:48.600 --> 0:11:52.839
<v Speaker 1>he's done is he's deconstructed it and separated it into

0:11:52.880 --> 0:11:57.880
<v Speaker 1>different pockets, so it wasn't you couldn't tell. And then

0:11:57.880 --> 0:12:00.200
<v Speaker 1>when I picked him up in the afternoon and he

0:12:00.240 --> 0:12:02.360
<v Speaker 1>was like, look what I've got, And I was like,

0:12:02.400 --> 0:12:04.080
<v Speaker 1>so you've had that in your pocket all.

0:12:04.000 --> 0:12:08.280
<v Speaker 2>Day, just like stashing these up as rectum. I'm going

0:12:08.320 --> 0:12:09.040
<v Speaker 2>to go to the toilet.

0:12:09.240 --> 0:12:14.320
<v Speaker 1>He's like pooping it out so it doesn't burst anyway.

0:12:14.320 --> 0:12:15.679
<v Speaker 1>It's going to be a really good drug meal. When

0:12:15.679 --> 0:12:16.120
<v Speaker 1>he's older.

0:12:19.800 --> 0:12:23.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm always like in the morning, whatever the kids want,

0:12:23.840 --> 0:12:25.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm pretty shit and disciplining.

0:12:25.640 --> 0:12:27.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well there was an email that was saying, hey,

0:12:28.679 --> 0:12:32.480
<v Speaker 1>stop letting your kids bring their toys to kindy sorry

0:12:32.600 --> 0:12:34.760
<v Speaker 1>or to daycare or whatever. I can't remember what it said,

0:12:34.800 --> 0:12:39.079
<v Speaker 1>but look, that's fair, but it's just another battle.

0:12:39.760 --> 0:12:40.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:12:40.120 --> 0:12:42.520
<v Speaker 1>First of all, they're stealing toys. Now, he's trying to

0:12:42.960 --> 0:12:43.760
<v Speaker 1>Why are you trying.

0:12:43.559 --> 0:12:46.800
<v Speaker 2>To make life so difficult for me? My kids are

0:12:46.800 --> 0:12:49.000
<v Speaker 2>the same, and they have kind of said in my daycare.

0:12:49.040 --> 0:12:51.120
<v Speaker 2>I'm sure it's the same everywhere, Like, like you said,

0:12:51.200 --> 0:12:54.040
<v Speaker 2>we don't want their personal toys being brought in because

0:12:54.040 --> 0:12:56.920
<v Speaker 2>it just kicks off. It does, Yeah, because kids can

0:12:57.000 --> 0:12:58.319
<v Speaker 2>understand everybody wants to share it.

0:12:58.400 --> 0:13:00.240
<v Speaker 1>They also say like, I don't know if you kids

0:13:00.280 --> 0:13:04.000
<v Speaker 1>these toos, like says like another kid's name. It's like, oh,

0:13:04.080 --> 0:13:06.880
<v Speaker 1>he's allowed to bring his toys in, trying to convince

0:13:06.920 --> 0:13:07.719
<v Speaker 1>you to let him.

0:13:07.840 --> 0:13:10.320
<v Speaker 2>Gosh, they're clever, aren't they. Gosh, they're clever?

0:13:10.559 --> 0:13:12.520
<v Speaker 1>Why they're not? They're fucking stupid. We've been over this.

0:13:12.720 --> 0:13:15.880
<v Speaker 1>But they're also like they've also got a little clever

0:13:15.960 --> 0:13:16.760
<v Speaker 1>piece about them.

0:13:16.920 --> 0:13:21.560
<v Speaker 2>Marley and Lola now bring a second bag filled with shit,

0:13:21.960 --> 0:13:24.640
<v Speaker 2>filled with their toys. So they don't just bring that

0:13:24.640 --> 0:13:27.800
<v Speaker 2>little knickknacks like one or two. They bring a full

0:13:27.840 --> 0:13:31.360
<v Speaker 2>second bag, which I try and like hide as just

0:13:31.400 --> 0:13:33.960
<v Speaker 2>being a bag of maybe spare clothes, because you get

0:13:34.000 --> 0:13:36.599
<v Speaker 2>where we go to daycare, there's a little like a

0:13:36.640 --> 0:13:39.200
<v Speaker 2>little shelf with buckets where the kids put their bags.

0:13:39.679 --> 0:13:42.120
<v Speaker 2>And then as I drop her off, I try and

0:13:42.480 --> 0:13:45.320
<v Speaker 2>I pray that Lola doesn't open that second bag full

0:13:45.320 --> 0:13:47.280
<v Speaker 2>of toys whilst I'm still there because I.

0:13:47.280 --> 0:13:50.360
<v Speaker 1>Have to take them. So you're helping them.

0:13:50.240 --> 0:13:53.400
<v Speaker 2>Yes, I'm complicit in this. I'm the enabler.

0:13:53.679 --> 0:13:58.320
<v Speaker 1>You're helping them actually smuggle, Yes, contraband it's.

0:13:58.240 --> 0:14:01.720
<v Speaker 2>Not even it's not even smuggling in the sense of

0:14:01.760 --> 0:14:04.480
<v Speaker 2>like someone strapping heroin to their legs. It's someone literally,

0:14:04.520 --> 0:14:06.800
<v Speaker 2>like with a bag of heroin walking through the airport.

0:14:06.880 --> 0:14:09.120
<v Speaker 2>That's the type of smuggling that they're doing, just going

0:14:09.160 --> 0:14:11.840
<v Speaker 2>through the security and I just try and dump them

0:14:11.880 --> 0:14:13.360
<v Speaker 2>there as quickly as I can and then I'm out,

0:14:13.559 --> 0:14:15.520
<v Speaker 2>get out of there. And it's always but then it's

0:14:15.760 --> 0:14:17.040
<v Speaker 2>when I pick them up and the I'm like, oh,

0:14:17.080 --> 0:14:19.240
<v Speaker 2>I got your water bottle, got your bag, and they're

0:14:19.280 --> 0:14:21.080
<v Speaker 2>like and this is yours and this.

0:14:22.440 --> 0:14:23.160
<v Speaker 1>Is yours name.

0:14:23.840 --> 0:14:24.880
<v Speaker 2>How did that get there?

0:14:27.480 --> 0:14:30.080
<v Speaker 1>Well, you know what we talked about, they'd be doubling

0:14:30.120 --> 0:14:32.280
<v Speaker 1>you into they'd be like, daddy, let us do it.

0:14:32.280 --> 0:14:35.360
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah yeah, And it's hard. I don't want to say, like,

0:14:35.480 --> 0:14:37.880
<v Speaker 2>don't tell anybody. Secrets are bad.

0:14:38.240 --> 0:14:41.080
<v Speaker 1>I know. And that's it. Like I said, I've caught

0:14:41.320 --> 0:14:45.240
<v Speaker 1>April sneaking chocolate into the Kindie. I just know that

0:14:45.320 --> 0:14:48.640
<v Speaker 1>she's letting him sneak toys in and being like, don't

0:14:48.640 --> 0:14:51.680
<v Speaker 1>do because there's times I've opened his bag and seen

0:14:51.680 --> 0:14:54.240
<v Speaker 1>one of his toys in there, thinking that we didn't

0:14:54.280 --> 0:14:57.880
<v Speaker 1>send him with any toys, and April has taught him

0:14:57.880 --> 0:15:01.800
<v Speaker 1>how to sneak things in. A is just a bad parent.

0:15:04.440 --> 0:15:08.800
<v Speaker 1>She's not just full disclosure so that I can continue

0:15:08.840 --> 0:15:11.640
<v Speaker 1>to have sex in my hand. She is not a

0:15:11.680 --> 0:15:12.240
<v Speaker 1>bad parent.

0:15:13.960 --> 0:15:15.320
<v Speaker 2>Fantastic's great.

0:15:15.520 --> 0:15:16.880
<v Speaker 1>Also, Boby home soon.

0:15:19.200 --> 0:15:23.040
<v Speaker 2>Act's one thing I've realized about becoming a dad is

0:15:23.160 --> 0:15:26.280
<v Speaker 2>it's not a matter of if, it's when you become

0:15:26.320 --> 0:15:29.400
<v Speaker 2>a loser immediately.

0:15:29.480 --> 0:15:29.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:15:29.720 --> 0:15:29.960
<v Speaker 3>I know.

0:15:30.200 --> 0:15:34.960
<v Speaker 1>That's actually very true, because men have this thing where

0:15:35.000 --> 0:15:38.120
<v Speaker 1>we get stuck at a certain point. It's just when

0:15:38.160 --> 0:15:40.840
<v Speaker 1>do you hit that certain point that you get stuck

0:15:40.840 --> 0:15:45.320
<v Speaker 1>and you don't be can't continue on with being relevant?

0:15:45.720 --> 0:15:46.480
<v Speaker 1>Is that where you're going?

0:15:46.520 --> 0:15:48.160
<v Speaker 2>No, I was going to say, it's more so, I'm

0:15:48.200 --> 0:15:51.680
<v Speaker 2>just the things that I'm into now. Sometimes I stop

0:15:51.720 --> 0:15:54.920
<v Speaker 2>myself at nighttime and I look in the mirror and

0:15:54.960 --> 0:16:00.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, fuck, it's happened. I'm now a loser. I'm

0:16:01.000 --> 0:16:04.200
<v Speaker 2>a loser of a dad and I should find it.

0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:06.440
<v Speaker 2>But I'm just going to go, what is it You're

0:16:06.480 --> 0:16:08.520
<v Speaker 2>going to go with the time. Okay, So I mentioned

0:16:08.520 --> 0:16:11.440
<v Speaker 2>it the other day. I stayed up last night till midnight.

0:16:14.000 --> 0:16:17.080
<v Speaker 2>I wish I was watching rex hunt fishing.

0:16:16.840 --> 0:16:21.640
<v Speaker 1>Videos after you found out he's getting really old. But

0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:21.960
<v Speaker 1>I was.

0:16:22.200 --> 0:16:25.280
<v Speaker 2>I was up till midnight watching old fishing videos, and

0:16:25.320 --> 0:16:26.360
<v Speaker 2>like I was enthralled.

0:16:26.440 --> 0:16:28.280
<v Speaker 1>I was like, oh my god, look at the Barralmundy,

0:16:28.800 --> 0:16:29.800
<v Speaker 1>you're a fish expert.

0:16:29.920 --> 0:16:30.400
<v Speaker 2>I dream.

0:16:30.480 --> 0:16:33.520
<v Speaker 1>Have you ever caught a fish? Fuck?

0:16:33.640 --> 0:16:33.880
<v Speaker 3>You?

0:16:35.320 --> 0:16:35.560
<v Speaker 2>Legit?

0:16:35.760 --> 0:16:36.080
<v Speaker 1>Question?

0:16:36.200 --> 0:16:42.160
<v Speaker 2>Such a patronizing question, that's such a like look at me,

0:16:42.280 --> 0:16:46.040
<v Speaker 2>look at these hands. You haven't I've caught a flathead before.

0:16:46.120 --> 0:16:49.760
<v Speaker 2>I've been on fishing trips and as I mentioned, becoming a.

0:16:49.640 --> 0:16:52.920
<v Speaker 1>Loser, yes, sorry, no, as am I.

0:16:53.800 --> 0:16:56.160
<v Speaker 2>And also now as well I'm not worrying it at

0:16:56.160 --> 0:17:00.240
<v Speaker 2>the moment. But my watch tracks my my heart rate.

0:17:00.720 --> 0:17:03.960
<v Speaker 2>That's so boring and what I really like doing. I'm

0:17:04.160 --> 0:17:06.960
<v Speaker 2>quite into it now. I wear it at bed and

0:17:07.000 --> 0:17:10.840
<v Speaker 2>I track my sleep so I wake up and for

0:17:10.880 --> 0:17:14.439
<v Speaker 2>what purpose I don't fucking know, nothing really, but I

0:17:14.480 --> 0:17:14.840
<v Speaker 2>wake up.

0:17:14.920 --> 0:17:17.000
<v Speaker 1>You can look back at it and then tell people.

0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:20.320
<v Speaker 2>Literally, I tat Laura on the shoulder, I'm like, can

0:17:20.359 --> 0:17:23.399
<v Speaker 2>you believe I've got official two hours of deep sleep

0:17:23.480 --> 0:17:25.600
<v Speaker 2>and only one sleep?

0:17:26.119 --> 0:17:29.480
<v Speaker 1>Look at this, fellas, and everyone's like, glaz no one.

0:17:29.840 --> 0:17:33.399
<v Speaker 2>I'm yet to meet someone who's interested. Who's interested, I

0:17:33.520 --> 0:17:36.000
<v Speaker 2>tell them the story about my breakdown of how much

0:17:36.040 --> 0:17:38.000
<v Speaker 2>sleep and what level of sleep it was at. But

0:17:38.040 --> 0:17:40.960
<v Speaker 2>I love it. I just fucking love it. And my

0:17:41.080 --> 0:17:43.320
<v Speaker 2>watch told me the other day that my resting heart

0:17:43.400 --> 0:17:47.800
<v Speaker 2>rate has dropped five beats, so because I'm doing a

0:17:47.840 --> 0:17:49.400
<v Speaker 2>bit of exercise at the moment.

0:17:49.520 --> 0:17:52.720
<v Speaker 1>And I look at me like that, God help me

0:17:52.760 --> 0:17:53.359
<v Speaker 1>get through this.

0:17:53.480 --> 0:17:56.280
<v Speaker 2>But I've started tracking my heart rate quite a lot,

0:17:56.760 --> 0:18:00.800
<v Speaker 2>and recently, a couple of nights ago, Laura and I

0:18:00.840 --> 0:18:04.840
<v Speaker 2>had sex. Oh yeah, and I thought to myself, I

0:18:04.960 --> 0:18:05.520
<v Speaker 2>wonder what.

0:18:08.160 --> 0:18:09.640
<v Speaker 1>You want a deep stat.

0:18:11.640 --> 0:18:12.960
<v Speaker 2>That was a good performance.

0:18:13.040 --> 0:18:15.240
<v Speaker 1>You know, when you're watching like NRL and it's got

0:18:15.280 --> 0:18:19.560
<v Speaker 1>like the intensity meet up, You're like, I wonder whose

0:18:19.640 --> 0:18:20.359
<v Speaker 1>intensity is.

0:18:21.359 --> 0:18:23.719
<v Speaker 2>I'm like secretly wanting to put like a heart monitor

0:18:23.760 --> 0:18:27.520
<v Speaker 2>on Laura. You could have put it a bit more effort,

0:18:27.520 --> 0:18:29.720
<v Speaker 2>their baby, and you really slacked off in the last

0:18:29.720 --> 0:18:30.120
<v Speaker 2>few minutes.

0:18:30.160 --> 0:18:32.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, we're going to analyze your performance. We're going to

0:18:32.760 --> 0:18:35.120
<v Speaker 1>come up with a plan of how to improve your

0:18:35.200 --> 0:18:37.480
<v Speaker 1>performance based off these insights.

0:18:37.720 --> 0:18:40.360
<v Speaker 2>I got up to eighty eighty beats permanent.

0:18:40.440 --> 0:18:41.960
<v Speaker 1>There you go, eighty pumps permanent.

0:18:42.119 --> 0:18:46.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I wish you're like a fucking rabbit. And Laura

0:18:46.880 --> 0:18:48.399
<v Speaker 2>came out from the bathroom and she was like, what

0:18:48.400 --> 0:18:51.280
<v Speaker 2>are you doing because I was gross.

0:18:50.960 --> 0:18:54.280
<v Speaker 1>Straight after too. Let me just look back at that

0:18:54.440 --> 0:18:55.400
<v Speaker 1>and let me just check.

0:18:56.119 --> 0:18:59.040
<v Speaker 2>She's like, oh my god, you're not You're not tracking

0:18:59.040 --> 0:18:59.800
<v Speaker 2>your heart right.

0:19:00.080 --> 0:19:03.040
<v Speaker 1>If you just want and exos.

0:19:07.040 --> 0:19:09.240
<v Speaker 2>There was a bloke who found out he got found

0:19:09.240 --> 0:19:12.720
<v Speaker 2>out for cheating through the garment app through Yeah, he

0:19:12.840 --> 0:19:15.440
<v Speaker 2>was like an Apple Watch and I think she must

0:19:15.520 --> 0:19:17.600
<v Speaker 2>have been on the iPad and it showed that he

0:19:17.640 --> 0:19:20.600
<v Speaker 2>had these spikes at like one in the morning when

0:19:20.600 --> 0:19:21.600
<v Speaker 2>he was on business trips.

0:19:22.080 --> 0:19:25.600
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god. Yeah, he could have just been peaking.

0:19:26.280 --> 0:19:27.919
<v Speaker 1>That's a ship way to get found out. But you

0:19:27.920 --> 0:19:31.119
<v Speaker 1>could easily weasel your way out of that idiot idiot.

0:19:31.320 --> 0:19:34.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so I'm getting up to eighty beats permanent. I'd

0:19:34.440 --> 0:19:36.120
<v Speaker 2>love to know if anyone out there is getting more

0:19:36.119 --> 0:19:36.440
<v Speaker 2>than that.

0:19:37.119 --> 0:19:38.440
<v Speaker 1>We don't want stats.

0:19:38.600 --> 0:19:41.639
<v Speaker 2>We want to know what position was it. Hell, we

0:19:41.680 --> 0:19:43.719
<v Speaker 2>want to know that it's a community.

0:19:43.200 --> 0:19:45.480
<v Speaker 1>As How many beats permanent do you get when you

0:19:45.480 --> 0:19:46.040
<v Speaker 1>haven't a wank?

0:19:46.800 --> 0:19:48.920
<v Speaker 2>I haven't tracked that one yet. It wouldn't be much.

0:19:49.440 --> 0:19:50.160
<v Speaker 2>I'm pretty quiet.

0:19:50.200 --> 0:19:51.960
<v Speaker 1>How many steps do I think you think you're doing

0:19:52.000 --> 0:19:52.800
<v Speaker 1>in the middle of the night.

0:19:55.240 --> 0:19:58.959
<v Speaker 2>I'm doing this for Laura, not for me. That's at

0:19:58.960 --> 0:20:00.520
<v Speaker 2>the end of the day. I'm just trying to be.

0:20:00.800 --> 0:20:03.480
<v Speaker 1>That way to see the spreadsheet and the graph.

0:20:03.800 --> 0:20:05.199
<v Speaker 2>We do an end of month catch up.

0:20:13.920 --> 0:20:16.080
<v Speaker 1>I feel like to get anything done in my house,

0:20:16.520 --> 0:20:19.919
<v Speaker 1>I've got to yell, yes, why are they like this?

0:20:20.280 --> 0:20:21.440
<v Speaker 2>Because your kids hate you?

0:20:22.560 --> 0:20:27.159
<v Speaker 1>All right, that's I've got the answer I needed. Do

0:20:27.240 --> 0:20:31.080
<v Speaker 1>you find that you to get anything done? You've like you?

0:20:31.320 --> 0:20:35.919
<v Speaker 1>They just don't fucking listen to me unless my voice

0:20:36.119 --> 0:20:38.280
<v Speaker 1>is at peak optimum.

0:20:38.760 --> 0:20:44.520
<v Speaker 2>Screen I many times have like watched something on social

0:20:44.560 --> 0:20:48.960
<v Speaker 2>media which very much encourages the gentle parenting narrative, you know,

0:20:49.040 --> 0:20:51.320
<v Speaker 2>like don't raise your voice, kids don't like.

0:20:51.280 --> 0:20:52.640
<v Speaker 1>To just gently hit them.

0:20:55.200 --> 0:20:59.359
<v Speaker 2>And I've tried it, dude, I've tried it. Especially where

0:20:59.440 --> 0:21:03.240
<v Speaker 2>I lose my temper would be the nighttime and coming

0:21:03.280 --> 0:21:06.800
<v Speaker 2>out of that transition from finishing dinner to then going

0:21:06.840 --> 0:21:10.000
<v Speaker 2>into the shower. That's what I find really really difficult.

0:21:10.359 --> 0:21:13.639
<v Speaker 2>And it's always a case of I have to say, like,

0:21:13.800 --> 0:21:17.119
<v Speaker 2>get in a shower now, until the kids are startled,

0:21:17.840 --> 0:21:19.720
<v Speaker 2>and they kind of go like, oh, dad's really getting

0:21:19.720 --> 0:21:21.240
<v Speaker 2>cranky up, better do it now.

0:21:21.359 --> 0:21:22.960
<v Speaker 1>And I said to April, I feel like I spent

0:21:23.320 --> 0:21:27.360
<v Speaker 1>most of my life yelling, and I've tried like as well.

0:21:27.400 --> 0:21:30.439
<v Speaker 1>I've tried to get down to their level do that

0:21:30.520 --> 0:21:33.720
<v Speaker 1>whole thing, and I just find it. I just find

0:21:33.720 --> 0:21:37.639
<v Speaker 1>that I'm yelling at their level down there on my knees,

0:21:37.720 --> 0:21:39.560
<v Speaker 1>like I'm going to counter three.

0:21:40.960 --> 0:21:50.320
<v Speaker 3>Fuck that's where I and I'm counting like w like

0:21:50.400 --> 0:21:53.520
<v Speaker 3>so that there's no they can't hear anything else in

0:21:53.560 --> 0:21:54.040
<v Speaker 3>the house.

0:21:54.960 --> 0:21:58.080
<v Speaker 1>That was like sixty percent of the whole scaring me

0:21:58.400 --> 0:22:00.520
<v Speaker 1>that I've got to yell and mate, what do.

0:22:00.480 --> 0:22:02.679
<v Speaker 2>You neighbors think? Do they ever give a see them.

0:22:02.560 --> 0:22:06.879
<v Speaker 1>And they moved out? No, because she's way worse than me,

0:22:06.960 --> 0:22:07.439
<v Speaker 1>our neighbor.

0:22:08.359 --> 0:22:10.600
<v Speaker 2>So it's just everyone's.

0:22:09.840 --> 0:22:13.280
<v Speaker 1>Everyone's just yelling in the whole complex. But it's like

0:22:13.520 --> 0:22:16.440
<v Speaker 1>you try to get down to their level and go, hey,

0:22:17.080 --> 0:22:19.480
<v Speaker 1>can you please take your clothes off and get in

0:22:19.520 --> 0:22:22.040
<v Speaker 1>the bath? No?

0:22:22.040 --> 0:22:26.120
<v Speaker 2>No, no, even now if I talk like that, they

0:22:26.160 --> 0:22:29.240
<v Speaker 2>don't even like look at me. They don't acknowledge my

0:22:29.400 --> 0:22:31.720
<v Speaker 2>sentence at all, Like it doesn't even it us.

0:22:31.800 --> 0:22:35.960
<v Speaker 1>Do you think I don't? That's definitely not even I'm perfect.

0:22:36.680 --> 0:22:38.160
<v Speaker 2>Am I?

0:22:38.280 --> 0:22:38.520
<v Speaker 1>No?

0:22:39.040 --> 0:22:42.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I don't know what it is. But is it like.

0:22:42.600 --> 0:22:45.399
<v Speaker 1>You've got to figure out what type of parenting style

0:22:45.480 --> 0:22:48.359
<v Speaker 1>your kid actually listens to? Is that what it is?

0:22:48.400 --> 0:22:50.680
<v Speaker 1>And we're just like we just go straight from we'll

0:22:50.680 --> 0:22:52.640
<v Speaker 1>try it for one second and if it doesn't work

0:22:52.680 --> 0:22:54.280
<v Speaker 1>for one second.

0:22:53.840 --> 0:22:56.800
<v Speaker 2>I feel like maybe if the child is really shy.

0:22:57.200 --> 0:22:59.480
<v Speaker 2>Marley and Lola are both pretty, like.

0:22:59.440 --> 0:23:01.480
<v Speaker 1>They're pretty, they're pretty, are going.

0:23:01.560 --> 0:23:04.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I feel like you've just got to really make

0:23:04.920 --> 0:23:08.240
<v Speaker 2>a fucking racket.

0:23:07.720 --> 0:23:10.480
<v Speaker 1>For them to listen. Yeah, because I'm a friend of mine,

0:23:10.520 --> 0:23:12.639
<v Speaker 1>I think has figured it out. I've done a little

0:23:12.640 --> 0:23:14.560
<v Speaker 1>bit of testing and it doesn't work.

0:23:14.680 --> 0:23:17.080
<v Speaker 2>So he doing what science experiments with the kids.

0:23:17.840 --> 0:23:20.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so we talked about the other day threatened parenting,

0:23:20.560 --> 0:23:24.800
<v Speaker 1>which is my favorite because he usually gets it done,

0:23:24.840 --> 0:23:27.719
<v Speaker 1>but they're seeing through it a bit. But I had

0:23:27.720 --> 0:23:30.320
<v Speaker 1>a friend over a couple of weeks ago. He listens

0:23:30.359 --> 0:23:32.119
<v Speaker 1>to the pod shout out the menows.

0:23:32.440 --> 0:23:33.000
<v Speaker 2>He love that.

0:23:33.200 --> 0:23:35.440
<v Speaker 1>He's come up with a new type of parenting called

0:23:35.480 --> 0:23:38.879
<v Speaker 1>competitive parenting. And I've mentioned it to you before, but

0:23:38.920 --> 0:23:40.720
<v Speaker 1>I've been doing I said I need to do some

0:23:40.880 --> 0:23:44.200
<v Speaker 1>test first, because what happened was he had his kid

0:23:44.240 --> 0:23:46.280
<v Speaker 1>over same age as Oscar, maybe a little bit younger,

0:23:47.119 --> 0:23:51.280
<v Speaker 1>and I witnessed him essentially get his kid to do

0:23:51.359 --> 0:23:53.639
<v Speaker 1>anything he wanted to do. And I was like, that's

0:23:53.680 --> 0:23:56.199
<v Speaker 1>fucking amazing. How did you do that? And he was like,

0:23:56.720 --> 0:23:59.679
<v Speaker 1>just make everything a competition, especially with a boy. His

0:23:59.800 --> 0:24:02.280
<v Speaker 1>kid was sort of sitting here annoying him.

0:24:02.480 --> 0:24:03.520
<v Speaker 2>So give me an example.

0:24:03.600 --> 0:24:06.239
<v Speaker 1>So, okay, kid was here annoying him. Me and Hi

0:24:06.240 --> 0:24:07.439
<v Speaker 1>were trying to have a conversation, and you know what,

0:24:07.440 --> 0:24:09.040
<v Speaker 1>they're like that don't get it. They're just talking And

0:24:09.040 --> 0:24:10.879
<v Speaker 1>he was like, why don't you go in the trampoline.

0:24:10.920 --> 0:24:12.920
<v Speaker 1>He goes, I bet you that I can jump higher

0:24:12.920 --> 0:24:16.040
<v Speaker 1>than you on that trampoline, and that kid was bam

0:24:16.119 --> 0:24:18.879
<v Speaker 1>straight into the trampoline and I was like, that's great.

0:24:19.080 --> 0:24:21.360
<v Speaker 2>I think that could be a boy thing.

0:24:22.040 --> 0:24:23.520
<v Speaker 1>I want you to try it on the girls.

0:24:23.720 --> 0:24:24.080
<v Speaker 2>Okay.

0:24:24.359 --> 0:24:30.239
<v Speaker 1>Anyway, So same day, and the biggest battle that you

0:24:30.320 --> 0:24:31.800
<v Speaker 1>have with your kids is trying to get them to

0:24:31.840 --> 0:24:35.840
<v Speaker 1>eat dinner. Why. I don't know why. I can prepare

0:24:35.960 --> 0:24:38.360
<v Speaker 1>anything for them and they won't fucking eat it, even

0:24:38.400 --> 0:24:41.040
<v Speaker 1>if it's their favorite thing. But then as soon as

0:24:41.119 --> 0:24:47.880
<v Speaker 1>like dinner's gone, they're like, I want to snack, but trolls. Anyway,

0:24:47.920 --> 0:24:50.399
<v Speaker 1>So he was there, We got the kids dinner and whatever.

0:24:50.440 --> 0:24:53.440
<v Speaker 1>They all sat down and I went upstairs to sort

0:24:53.480 --> 0:24:56.040
<v Speaker 1>of get Macy's room ready and come back down and

0:24:56.160 --> 0:24:59.480
<v Speaker 1>both of my kids had eaten all of their food,

0:24:59.640 --> 0:25:01.680
<v Speaker 1>and I'll I was like, what did you do? How

0:25:01.720 --> 0:25:04.640
<v Speaker 1>did you do it? Teach me how you did this?

0:25:05.240 --> 0:25:10.000
<v Speaker 1>And he was just like, I ate it. He's like,

0:25:10.040 --> 0:25:12.520
<v Speaker 1>I made it a competition. I was like, what do

0:25:12.560 --> 0:25:14.920
<v Speaker 1>you mean? I said, I said that I can eat

0:25:15.000 --> 0:25:17.000
<v Speaker 1>way faster than you, I can eat way more than

0:25:17.040 --> 0:25:19.879
<v Speaker 1>you and they just gobbled that shit up.

0:25:20.320 --> 0:25:23.600
<v Speaker 2>Have you gone from a yeller to a competitive.

0:25:23.160 --> 0:25:25.639
<v Speaker 1>No, I'm still yelling. I've tried it a few times,

0:25:25.640 --> 0:25:27.800
<v Speaker 1>and I've noticed April's sort of calling onto it too.

0:25:27.840 --> 0:25:30.439
<v Speaker 1>It's like I can get in the bath first, straight

0:25:30.480 --> 0:25:32.320
<v Speaker 1>up there, into the bath. So it's working with a

0:25:32.359 --> 0:25:35.119
<v Speaker 1>few things. But I want to ask you, because you've

0:25:35.119 --> 0:25:38.520
<v Speaker 1>got two girls. I want you so next episode, just

0:25:38.560 --> 0:25:41.280
<v Speaker 1>maybe between now and then, you give it a go.

0:25:42.520 --> 0:25:44.560
<v Speaker 1>Just try it for dinner time. Tell me what it's

0:25:44.560 --> 0:25:46.840
<v Speaker 1>going to be like next week and if it worked

0:25:47.359 --> 0:25:50.080
<v Speaker 1>or if it was a disaster. But I'm trying to

0:25:50.080 --> 0:25:51.840
<v Speaker 1>figure it out because I'm sick of fucking yelling.

0:25:51.960 --> 0:25:55.679
<v Speaker 2>But i feel like I'm sure it'll work for a

0:25:55.840 --> 0:25:59.760
<v Speaker 2>week and then the kids will underigure it and what

0:25:59.760 --> 0:26:03.040
<v Speaker 2>I'm doing. They're like, actually, there's no prize at the.

0:26:03.040 --> 0:26:04.399
<v Speaker 1>End of this.

0:26:04.400 --> 0:26:07.320
<v Speaker 2>This motherfucker is trying to con me.

0:26:08.000 --> 0:26:11.800
<v Speaker 1>Is there not that smart? All that times I'm asking

0:26:11.840 --> 0:26:13.720
<v Speaker 1>you to give it a go, I'll do it. I've

0:26:13.760 --> 0:26:15.159
<v Speaker 1>asked you to do it, not on the pod, and

0:26:15.160 --> 0:26:16.800
<v Speaker 1>you can ignore me. So now I'm going to hold

0:26:16.840 --> 0:26:17.240
<v Speaker 1>you account.

0:26:17.520 --> 0:26:19.760
<v Speaker 2>Okay, give me a week. I'll come back next week

0:26:20.040 --> 0:26:21.600
<v Speaker 2>and I'll tell you exactly how it went.

0:26:21.680 --> 0:26:25.120
<v Speaker 1>And for anyone listening. If you've got a different parenting

0:26:25.160 --> 0:26:28.440
<v Speaker 1>style other than the not like gentle parenting, what else

0:26:28.520 --> 0:26:31.280
<v Speaker 1>is there? Also? Gentle parenting is fucking boring.

0:26:32.359 --> 0:26:34.040
<v Speaker 2>You want a bit of spice, and want a bit

0:26:34.080 --> 0:26:35.400
<v Speaker 2>of spiced You don't want to be.

0:26:35.400 --> 0:26:38.920
<v Speaker 1>Like Okay, little Timmy, what you do now is you

0:26:39.240 --> 0:26:40.120
<v Speaker 1>please wash your hands.

0:26:40.280 --> 0:26:41.919
<v Speaker 2>You want to feel alive when your parents.

0:26:42.040 --> 0:26:44.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I don't want to have to yell, but like,

0:26:44.400 --> 0:26:46.160
<v Speaker 1>I want to enjoy some of it. I don't want

0:26:46.160 --> 0:26:49.440
<v Speaker 1>to be like gentle parents in public. Like it's a

0:26:49.480 --> 0:26:54.040
<v Speaker 1>bit cringey when you talk to your kids in baby

0:26:54.119 --> 0:26:59.840
<v Speaker 1>voice as a man in public. Boo boo oh, shut up, dick,

0:27:00.480 --> 0:27:05.720
<v Speaker 1>cringe button. Guilty, Yes you are guilty, but anyway, that's

0:27:05.720 --> 0:27:08.159
<v Speaker 1>where I'm at. I'm sick of yelling. Try it. If

0:27:08.200 --> 0:27:11.639
<v Speaker 1>you've got any other parenting hacks, it's not a hack,

0:27:12.600 --> 0:27:15.280
<v Speaker 1>it's a style. I'm going with style because hacks could

0:27:15.320 --> 0:27:21.600
<v Speaker 1>be anything. If I want styles, It's continuous. Okayse's threatened

0:27:21.600 --> 0:27:25.920
<v Speaker 1>parenting is a great one, but you know, there's also bribery.

0:27:26.160 --> 0:27:29.240
<v Speaker 1>There's also competitive parenting, which I've mentioned, there's gentle pairing,

0:27:29.240 --> 0:27:31.640
<v Speaker 1>which is boring as fuck. What else you.

0:27:31.600 --> 0:27:35.720
<v Speaker 2>Got speaking of hacks, Ash, it's time for your favorite segment.

0:27:36.920 --> 0:27:38.439
<v Speaker 1>Tell me loud, tell me.

0:27:44.800 --> 0:27:46.359
<v Speaker 2>All right, Ash, I'm going to kick off with the

0:27:46.400 --> 0:27:49.600
<v Speaker 2>first line that we've had submitted. This one comes from Linda,

0:27:49.800 --> 0:27:52.640
<v Speaker 2>who has messaged us on two doting dads on Instagram

0:27:52.720 --> 0:27:55.280
<v Speaker 2>to which is the best way to contact us? Because Lida,

0:27:55.640 --> 0:27:57.760
<v Speaker 2>I am always there's definitely.

0:27:57.359 --> 0:27:59.719
<v Speaker 1>A previous generation's name Linda.

0:28:00.119 --> 0:28:01.920
<v Speaker 2>She looks quite young. She looks quite young.

0:28:02.080 --> 0:28:03.520
<v Speaker 1>No one now called Linda.

0:28:03.600 --> 0:28:07.760
<v Speaker 2>I like the name Linda. I'm not saying that if

0:28:07.800 --> 0:28:12.160
<v Speaker 2>I have a third child, will call him.

0:28:12.359 --> 0:28:15.199
<v Speaker 1>Her Linda little Linda Johnson.

0:28:15.320 --> 0:28:18.040
<v Speaker 2>Okay, so Linda has a lie, she says. So we

0:28:18.160 --> 0:28:21.000
<v Speaker 2>generally do off the grid camping. So when it's cold,

0:28:21.119 --> 0:28:23.000
<v Speaker 2>we give our two boys who are six and four,

0:28:23.240 --> 0:28:27.440
<v Speaker 2>hot water bottles this winter at home, even though it's

0:28:27.480 --> 0:28:31.240
<v Speaker 2>heated beautifully, they insist on having the hot water bottles.

0:28:31.520 --> 0:28:33.840
<v Speaker 2>I tell them I'll do it before I go to

0:28:33.880 --> 0:28:37.720
<v Speaker 2>bed late at night when it's cooler. Then she fills

0:28:37.760 --> 0:28:40.680
<v Speaker 2>up the water bottles that's filled with water and place

0:28:40.800 --> 0:28:42.600
<v Speaker 2>it in their bed so when they wake up in

0:28:42.640 --> 0:28:46.240
<v Speaker 2>the morning, they think they've received a hot water bottle

0:28:46.800 --> 0:28:50.800
<v Speaker 2>when in fact, Ash she just puts in cold water.

0:28:51.520 --> 0:28:52.600
<v Speaker 1>See gas lighting them.

0:28:53.440 --> 0:28:56.360
<v Speaker 2>She says it saves on time, and she's also being

0:28:56.560 --> 0:29:01.760
<v Speaker 2>water wise. Well are you, Linda, I mean first point, Yeah,

0:29:01.960 --> 0:29:03.840
<v Speaker 2>you are saving the time. It's the same amount of water.

0:29:04.160 --> 0:29:07.040
<v Speaker 2>Oh maybe because the water's evaporating. She's really looking at

0:29:07.360 --> 0:29:09.560
<v Speaker 2>exact quantities here, partially being water.

0:29:10.080 --> 0:29:12.600
<v Speaker 1>I think she's probably thinking like she's saving hot water, Matthew,

0:29:13.000 --> 0:29:13.960
<v Speaker 1>other than cold.

0:29:13.720 --> 0:29:16.800
<v Speaker 2>Water, she said. She says, water, Linda, I don't mean

0:29:16.840 --> 0:29:17.640
<v Speaker 2>to attack you here.

0:29:18.080 --> 0:29:22.280
<v Speaker 1>Let's do it. Attacked her name.

0:29:22.400 --> 0:29:23.840
<v Speaker 2>Well, she ends up and says, in the morning, they're

0:29:23.880 --> 0:29:27.160
<v Speaker 2>always so happy, and they tell her how warm they've

0:29:27.200 --> 0:29:28.440
<v Speaker 2>slept with a hot water bottle.

0:29:28.760 --> 0:29:31.480
<v Speaker 1>Idiots, you've just been gas lighted. Kids. If these kids

0:29:31.520 --> 0:29:35.240
<v Speaker 1>are listening, it's a ruse six and four.

0:29:35.400 --> 0:29:38.520
<v Speaker 2>Let's hope, let's pray that they're not listening to this podcast.

0:29:39.360 --> 0:29:42.280
<v Speaker 1>Look, they've just been These kids are just being gaslighted.

0:29:42.480 --> 0:29:45.440
<v Speaker 2>That I do. Sometimes Marley will be like, I want

0:29:45.440 --> 0:29:47.440
<v Speaker 2>to drink of water, and I go, I'll get it

0:29:47.480 --> 0:29:49.680
<v Speaker 2>in just a second, and I closed the door.

0:29:50.520 --> 0:29:53.400
<v Speaker 1>So hang on a minute. You're just letting your kids dehydrate.

0:29:53.720 --> 0:29:55.680
<v Speaker 1>That's very ea different because.

0:29:55.400 --> 0:30:00.440
<v Speaker 2>She she's just stalling. She's drunk, she's hydrated.

0:30:00.000 --> 0:30:04.240
<v Speaker 1>She's just finished a bottle of wine. She's traded.

0:30:04.520 --> 0:30:05.920
<v Speaker 2>He doesn't want to water.

0:30:06.240 --> 0:30:10.560
<v Speaker 1>No, Yeah, she's stalling. It's like Oscar's got this thing

0:30:10.600 --> 0:30:13.280
<v Speaker 1>where he before going to bed, he's like sleep tight.

0:30:13.360 --> 0:30:17.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, oh no, sleep time, sleep tight, sleep tight,

0:30:19.560 --> 0:30:25.800
<v Speaker 1>sleep t So last night we were in We're all

0:30:25.840 --> 0:30:29.440
<v Speaker 1>in our bed, me, Oscar, and April, not Macy. She's

0:30:29.520 --> 0:30:32.320
<v Speaker 1>fast sleep and it was like, okay, budd, it's time

0:30:32.360 --> 0:30:33.880
<v Speaker 1>to go to bed. And he's like, okay, we've got

0:30:33.880 --> 0:30:38.640
<v Speaker 1>to say sleep tight to me. Five times. I was like, okay, freak,

0:30:38.960 --> 0:30:41.120
<v Speaker 1>you need to put an end to that. It was

0:30:41.240 --> 0:30:44.440
<v Speaker 1>way more than five times. It was like sleep tight

0:30:44.640 --> 0:30:47.040
<v Speaker 1>walking out the door, sleep tight, sleep time, sleep time,

0:30:47.640 --> 0:30:56.480
<v Speaker 1>sleep time, sleep tight, sleep tight sleep But he's just stalling.

0:30:56.640 --> 0:30:58.880
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, look, I get what you're saying. With the

0:30:58.880 --> 0:31:01.440
<v Speaker 1>water things, like he used to do the thing where

0:31:01.480 --> 0:31:02.840
<v Speaker 1>he'd be like, I want to drink of water and

0:31:02.880 --> 0:31:04.920
<v Speaker 1>his bottle was like right next to him, sippy bottle

0:31:04.960 --> 0:31:06.760
<v Speaker 1>right to like it's right next to like, can you

0:31:06.800 --> 0:31:09.800
<v Speaker 1>hand it to me anyone. It's just stalling. So I

0:31:09.840 --> 0:31:10.240
<v Speaker 1>get it.

0:31:10.440 --> 0:31:13.000
<v Speaker 2>I told you, mate, they're clever, they know what they're doing.

0:31:13.120 --> 0:31:13.720
<v Speaker 1>I don't believe it.

0:31:13.800 --> 0:31:14.760
<v Speaker 2>Let's go the second life.

0:31:14.880 --> 0:31:19.960
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so this lie comes from go on. I think

0:31:20.000 --> 0:31:22.840
<v Speaker 1>it's Alice. That's just a different way to spell Alice.

0:31:23.080 --> 0:31:26.320
<v Speaker 1>At least, at last, let's go yeah, okay, yeah, at

0:31:26.360 --> 0:31:26.960
<v Speaker 1>least I'm with you.

0:31:27.240 --> 0:31:30.480
<v Speaker 2>At least could be both whatever a less a.

0:31:31.160 --> 0:31:33.280
<v Speaker 1>Look, I waste enough energy. I'm trying to pronounce that

0:31:33.320 --> 0:31:35.960
<v Speaker 1>person's name and he's just move on. Hey. So the

0:31:36.040 --> 0:31:38.760
<v Speaker 1>lie I tell my two year old daughter is if

0:31:38.800 --> 0:31:42.600
<v Speaker 1>she is refusing to have her pooey nappy change, I

0:31:42.640 --> 0:31:44.920
<v Speaker 1>will tell her the flyers will come in the house

0:31:45.360 --> 0:31:50.560
<v Speaker 1>and get her. First of all, I want to know

0:31:50.640 --> 0:31:52.400
<v Speaker 1>by what you mean by get her.

0:31:53.840 --> 0:31:56.680
<v Speaker 2>I wonder if she ever sees flies outside and she's.

0:31:56.560 --> 0:32:00.760
<v Speaker 1>Like it's happening, traumatiz coming. I know there's all these

0:32:00.920 --> 0:32:04.120
<v Speaker 1>there's all these therapists out there just rubbing their hands.

0:32:05.600 --> 0:32:07.440
<v Speaker 1>I can't wait till your of age and I can

0:32:07.440 --> 0:32:10.800
<v Speaker 1>get into that little brain of yours and your mother's wallet.

0:32:14.000 --> 0:32:16.440
<v Speaker 1>There's just like this kid, like, especially if they were

0:32:17.320 --> 0:32:20.120
<v Speaker 1>at KINDI or something like that. And they've clearly done

0:32:20.160 --> 0:32:22.920
<v Speaker 1>a ship and they just see a fly. They're like, oh, no.

0:32:23.360 --> 0:32:24.040
<v Speaker 2>It's happening.

0:32:24.440 --> 0:32:30.560
<v Speaker 1>She wasn't lying, just getting running away from all these flies.

0:32:30.680 --> 0:32:32.840
<v Speaker 2>But if you're a parent out there causing any temporary

0:32:33.000 --> 0:32:35.200
<v Speaker 2>psychological damage to your children.

0:32:34.920 --> 0:32:37.360
<v Speaker 1>With drama trauma, we want to know about it.

0:32:37.720 --> 0:32:40.760
<v Speaker 2>Please tell us. Submit your best lie to two doting

0:32:40.800 --> 0:32:43.640
<v Speaker 2>dads on Instagram and we will incorrectly say your name

0:32:44.800 --> 0:32:46.320
<v Speaker 2>and reveal the status segment.

0:32:46.360 --> 0:32:49.160
<v Speaker 1>It's like, how do we fuck this person's name up?

0:32:50.880 --> 0:32:55.480
<v Speaker 2>Please be very specific regarding the pronunciation ash. We should

0:32:55.480 --> 0:32:58.360
<v Speaker 2>do some listener questions we should do. We'll go with

0:32:58.480 --> 0:33:01.320
<v Speaker 2>two today, as we always do anymore, and I think.

0:33:01.240 --> 0:33:03.560
<v Speaker 1>It would be too risky anymore. I've lost interest. But

0:33:03.640 --> 0:33:05.200
<v Speaker 1>so two is good, short and sharp.

0:33:05.320 --> 0:33:08.880
<v Speaker 2>First question is I'm assuming this is coming from a female.

0:33:09.640 --> 0:33:14.000
<v Speaker 2>They ask, do dads purposely take thirty minute poos to

0:33:14.000 --> 0:33:15.480
<v Speaker 2>get out of looking after the kids?

0:33:15.640 --> 0:33:17.960
<v Speaker 1>Yes? And thirty minutes is an amateur hour.

0:33:20.720 --> 0:33:22.640
<v Speaker 2>What's the longest pooh you've ever taken?

0:33:23.680 --> 0:33:30.880
<v Speaker 1>My wife still thinks some on the toilet. No, thirty

0:33:30.880 --> 0:33:34.320
<v Speaker 1>minutes is pretty good. Look, it's no good for you

0:33:35.000 --> 0:33:37.080
<v Speaker 1>to sit there you get piles.

0:33:37.280 --> 0:33:40.880
<v Speaker 2>What's piles like camorrhoids? Right, it's not good for you,

0:33:41.000 --> 0:33:43.840
<v Speaker 2>but surely just sitting there relaxing in that position, it's

0:33:43.880 --> 0:33:44.320
<v Speaker 2>really bad.

0:33:44.360 --> 0:33:48.280
<v Speaker 1>It's really bad. Yeah. I'm not a doctor, but that's

0:33:48.320 --> 0:33:50.520
<v Speaker 1>what I was told. Hang on a minute, that I've

0:33:50.560 --> 0:33:55.560
<v Speaker 1>been lied could be the case.

0:33:55.720 --> 0:33:57.959
<v Speaker 2>Female doctors were like, we need to fucking battle this

0:33:58.040 --> 0:33:59.440
<v Speaker 2>issue right now. Yeah.

0:33:59.520 --> 0:34:01.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, they really got us with this one.

0:34:02.000 --> 0:34:05.120
<v Speaker 2>It's the only time and place where you can really

0:34:05.160 --> 0:34:08.440
<v Speaker 2>get some reprieve from the kids. Yeah, Like there's I

0:34:08.440 --> 0:34:11.400
<v Speaker 2>guess mowing the lawn is another one where you're like,

0:34:11.400 --> 0:34:14.319
<v Speaker 2>this is dangerous and it's loud. Kids get away from me,

0:34:14.520 --> 0:34:16.759
<v Speaker 2>and no one talked to me for at least an hour.

0:34:16.920 --> 0:34:20.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah no, and then like I love to look after you,

0:34:20.080 --> 0:34:21.080
<v Speaker 2>but you're doing shit.

0:34:21.360 --> 0:34:23.480
<v Speaker 1>Paul Rudd sums it up really well. And this is

0:34:23.520 --> 0:34:26.359
<v Speaker 1>forty when his missus opens the door and you're sitting

0:34:26.400 --> 0:34:30.200
<v Speaker 1>there playing like scrabble or something, and she's like, you've

0:34:30.239 --> 0:34:32.400
<v Speaker 1>been in here for ages and it's like, what are

0:34:32.400 --> 0:34:34.040
<v Speaker 1>you doing? It doesn't even smell. She's like, I've been

0:34:34.040 --> 0:34:34.920
<v Speaker 1>flushing as I go.

0:34:38.080 --> 0:34:40.640
<v Speaker 2>Have you ever been sprung by April? With like your

0:34:40.640 --> 0:34:42.640
<v Speaker 2>pants already up, like you're just sitting on the toilet.

0:34:42.760 --> 0:34:46.600
<v Speaker 1>No, nah, I've prepared. Yeah, you got to stay prepared.

0:34:46.640 --> 0:34:47.280
<v Speaker 2>You got to commit.

0:34:47.680 --> 0:34:51.480
<v Speaker 1>Commit. I look when she starts to make noises like

0:34:52.320 --> 0:34:56.040
<v Speaker 1>louder and louder noises outside the bathroom, like she's fed up,

0:34:56.640 --> 0:35:01.759
<v Speaker 1>then I'll go, I'll put the lim Now is time

0:35:01.840 --> 0:35:03.719
<v Speaker 1>I better fart so it smells because I didn't do

0:35:03.719 --> 0:35:06.680
<v Speaker 1>anything and I'm just mosey out.

0:35:06.800 --> 0:35:08.320
<v Speaker 2>It's always it's I.

0:35:08.160 --> 0:35:10.160
<v Speaker 1>Get in more trouble if I need to go.

0:35:10.280 --> 0:35:13.080
<v Speaker 2>Back and actually and actually do one.

0:35:13.320 --> 0:35:16.880
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, like later it's like again and you're like, yes,

0:35:17.160 --> 0:35:18.719
<v Speaker 1>I'm going back for a courtesy wipe.

0:35:18.920 --> 0:35:23.319
<v Speaker 2>It's it's always an issue when I'm like resting with

0:35:23.360 --> 0:35:26.160
<v Speaker 2>my fist on my cheek and I've got a red mark,

0:35:26.200 --> 0:35:28.160
<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, oh, I can't. I've already been in

0:35:28.160 --> 0:35:29.920
<v Speaker 2>here for so long that I can't call any long ago,

0:35:29.960 --> 0:35:31.280
<v Speaker 2>and Laura is like, what's wrong with your face?

0:35:31.360 --> 0:35:34.120
<v Speaker 1>I don't unresting. Yeah, it's like you get it on

0:35:34.160 --> 0:35:37.960
<v Speaker 1>your thighs the red mart because you're on your phone.

0:35:38.080 --> 0:35:40.080
<v Speaker 2>Mums must do that as well. It's not just guys.

0:35:40.320 --> 0:35:43.200
<v Speaker 2>Sure that's a month thing. Also, do you reckon?

0:35:43.360 --> 0:35:46.920
<v Speaker 1>I think they're more like get it done because they

0:35:47.000 --> 0:35:47.680
<v Speaker 1>just think it's icky.

0:35:47.760 --> 0:35:50.200
<v Speaker 2>No, I reckon. There's got to be moms out there

0:35:50.480 --> 0:35:53.319
<v Speaker 2>listening right now who have gone Yeah, hand up, I'm

0:35:53.360 --> 0:35:55.319
<v Speaker 2>guilty of doing like a fake shit.

0:35:56.160 --> 0:35:57.920
<v Speaker 1>Oh surely, yeah, there would be.

0:35:57.840 --> 0:35:59.080
<v Speaker 2>To get away from the family.

0:35:59.200 --> 0:36:00.399
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I think it's fair place.

0:36:00.400 --> 0:36:02.680
<v Speaker 2>It's not just the guys right, Like we.

0:36:02.440 --> 0:36:04.800
<v Speaker 1>Were so like Sunday just gone. It was like a

0:36:04.840 --> 0:36:07.200
<v Speaker 1>wet weather day. It was like nothing happened and was

0:36:07.239 --> 0:36:11.040
<v Speaker 1>stuck inside and it was like three o'clock. April's gonna

0:36:11.080 --> 0:36:13.840
<v Speaker 1>hear this, It's gonna get in trouble whatever. And it

0:36:13.920 --> 0:36:15.880
<v Speaker 1>was like what time are we bathing? And bathing? And

0:36:15.960 --> 0:36:18.080
<v Speaker 1>she ate bed and bloody, blah blah. She was like, oh,

0:36:18.160 --> 0:36:20.640
<v Speaker 1>ten past six, it was three o'clock. I'm like three hours.

0:36:21.160 --> 0:36:29.480
<v Speaker 1>Oh I got a pooh after the toilet and yeah,

0:36:29.800 --> 0:36:32.200
<v Speaker 1>forty five minutes later, make my way back out.

0:36:33.120 --> 0:36:36.240
<v Speaker 2>That was a big one, babe, forty five minutes.

0:36:36.480 --> 0:36:41.000
<v Speaker 1>Nice. She knows, April, she knows. She knows too late.

0:36:41.080 --> 0:36:46.000
<v Speaker 1>Now we're married. So, Matthew, question number two during birth,

0:36:46.040 --> 0:36:49.239
<v Speaker 1>did you stay up the safe end or did you

0:36:49.320 --> 0:36:52.400
<v Speaker 1>watch everything unfold as you will.

0:36:52.600 --> 0:36:59.719
<v Speaker 2>I very much stayed up towards Laura's head, held her

0:36:59.760 --> 0:37:02.120
<v Speaker 2>hand end and try to comfort her as much as

0:37:02.160 --> 0:37:02.520
<v Speaker 2>I could.

0:37:03.040 --> 0:37:03.759
<v Speaker 1>Husband of the Year.

0:37:03.920 --> 0:37:07.360
<v Speaker 2>Because I hate blood.

0:37:07.360 --> 0:37:08.560
<v Speaker 1>Like I hate vaginas.

0:37:11.640 --> 0:37:13.320
<v Speaker 2>I can't I can't stand the sight of blood. In

0:37:13.600 --> 0:37:16.520
<v Speaker 2>that show on tv RPA and they show a bit

0:37:16.520 --> 0:37:19.960
<v Speaker 2>of surgery like that, I can't watch any of that.

0:37:20.280 --> 0:37:23.120
<v Speaker 1>My friends, Like my friend is like, he's not a surgeon,

0:37:23.160 --> 0:37:25.239
<v Speaker 1>but he sits in surgeries because he's like manages the

0:37:25.239 --> 0:37:29.200
<v Speaker 1>equipment and he always tries to show me photos and stuff.

0:37:29.239 --> 0:37:33.120
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, fuck off, dude, Like I don't need I'm queasy.

0:37:33.400 --> 0:37:35.719
<v Speaker 1>We spoke on this podcast how I got Sea sick

0:37:35.800 --> 0:37:38.640
<v Speaker 1>during the ultra Imagine what I'd be like if I

0:37:38.680 --> 0:37:40.560
<v Speaker 1>went down the wrong end.

0:37:40.640 --> 0:37:43.000
<v Speaker 2>Well, did you have a little did you have it

0:37:43.040 --> 0:37:45.279
<v Speaker 2>like a peak? Did you have to curiosity to get

0:37:45.280 --> 0:37:45.880
<v Speaker 2>the better of you?

0:37:46.320 --> 0:37:49.440
<v Speaker 1>So I won't tell you the full story, yeah.

0:37:49.280 --> 0:37:52.880
<v Speaker 2>Because we actually we've spoken about doing a purpose of

0:37:52.920 --> 0:37:56.560
<v Speaker 2>our birthing story, so we won't reveal everything right now.

0:37:56.840 --> 0:38:00.759
<v Speaker 1>We'll save that. But both of that one emergency sea

0:38:00.800 --> 0:38:03.080
<v Speaker 1>section one it was a C section, so there is

0:38:03.120 --> 0:38:06.359
<v Speaker 1>a safe end. So with the first one. Definitely didn't

0:38:06.360 --> 0:38:09.000
<v Speaker 1>take a look. I didn't take a look. But one

0:38:09.000 --> 0:38:12.040
<v Speaker 1>thing I will tell you is that when we did

0:38:12.080 --> 0:38:14.239
<v Speaker 1>have to go off to the emergency sea section, I

0:38:14.320 --> 0:38:16.880
<v Speaker 1>did have to step over a large pool on the

0:38:16.880 --> 0:38:23.040
<v Speaker 1>ground from April. Sorry babe, but we'll talk about that

0:38:23.160 --> 0:38:23.680
<v Speaker 1>another time.

0:38:24.239 --> 0:38:25.400
<v Speaker 2>Such a teaser.

0:38:25.640 --> 0:38:28.560
<v Speaker 1>And also also when you do a C section, they

0:38:28.600 --> 0:38:33.040
<v Speaker 1>drop the curtain. I was like, put it. But I

0:38:33.080 --> 0:38:35.560
<v Speaker 1>have a friend of mine who went and had a look.

0:38:35.760 --> 0:38:38.120
<v Speaker 1>I think it was his second kid, he's got three kids.

0:38:38.719 --> 0:38:41.040
<v Speaker 1>But he told me the story and just be mindful,

0:38:41.080 --> 0:38:43.120
<v Speaker 1>this is not my story and you're hearing it secondhand.

0:38:43.560 --> 0:38:48.880
<v Speaker 1>He took a look at the other end and felt

0:38:48.880 --> 0:38:52.759
<v Speaker 1>a bit like a bit queasy about it. And he thought,

0:38:52.800 --> 0:38:55.239
<v Speaker 1>I was just gonna remove myself from a situation a

0:38:55.280 --> 0:38:57.200
<v Speaker 1>little bit to the corner of the room and face

0:38:57.320 --> 0:39:01.480
<v Speaker 1>the corner to regather. And he's fainted against the corner

0:39:01.520 --> 0:39:04.320
<v Speaker 1>of the room. So his head's hit the corner. Really

0:39:04.560 --> 0:39:08.160
<v Speaker 1>not that, and then he started to slide down the

0:39:08.200 --> 0:39:11.040
<v Speaker 1>wall and the only thing that stopped him from hitting

0:39:11.120 --> 0:39:14.319
<v Speaker 1>the deck was his knees locked out his land up

0:39:14.360 --> 0:39:17.880
<v Speaker 1>against the wall like that, passed out and the only

0:39:17.920 --> 0:39:20.319
<v Speaker 1>thing propping him up is his legs, Oh my god,

0:39:22.640 --> 0:39:26.279
<v Speaker 1>up against the thing. So he's completely fainted, and apparently

0:39:26.400 --> 0:39:28.200
<v Speaker 1>he was there for most of the time.

0:39:28.280 --> 0:39:29.800
<v Speaker 2>That we'll get to him in a second.

0:39:29.840 --> 0:39:33.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because it's like he's fine, propped.

0:39:32.880 --> 0:39:35.279
<v Speaker 2>Up against he's just getting some shut eye.

0:39:35.520 --> 0:39:38.680
<v Speaker 1>And I will tease you as well, Matthew, double tease.

0:39:38.880 --> 0:39:43.160
<v Speaker 1>Even though we did have two sea sections. The second

0:39:43.239 --> 0:39:47.359
<v Speaker 1>sea section, I did faint, but well, they'll save that.

0:39:47.920 --> 0:39:49.840
<v Speaker 1>You are m a cock t.

0:39:50.440 --> 0:39:57.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Jesus lady, I'll save the complete story.

0:39:57.360 --> 0:40:01.760
<v Speaker 1>Let's another time. We'll try and tell it next week. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:40:01.400 --> 0:40:03.200
<v Speaker 2>I love how you say try. What do you got on?

0:40:04.000 --> 0:40:04.840
<v Speaker 2>Let me check my schedule.

0:40:04.840 --> 0:40:11.080
<v Speaker 1>I've got other podcasts, death related, ones related.

0:40:12.400 --> 0:40:13.439
<v Speaker 2>Let's get out of here, mate.

0:40:13.560 --> 0:40:14.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, thank you. Guys.

0:40:14.480 --> 0:40:17.680
<v Speaker 2>We'll give you a little cuddle after what's been a

0:40:18.040 --> 0:40:18.720
<v Speaker 2>couple of days.

0:40:18.760 --> 0:40:21.880
<v Speaker 1>As a sad boy. My wife was calling me sad boy. Yes,

0:40:22.080 --> 0:40:23.759
<v Speaker 1>because you can just pick up on it walking around

0:40:23.760 --> 0:40:26.520
<v Speaker 1>the house with a hoodie on a pressed teenager.

0:40:27.000 --> 0:40:29.200
<v Speaker 2>We'd like track pants on doing the gritty what's the

0:40:29.239 --> 0:40:31.239
<v Speaker 2>gritty rage?

0:40:31.360 --> 0:40:34.799
<v Speaker 1>Anyway, If you like this episode, don't forget to leave

0:40:34.840 --> 0:40:38.960
<v Speaker 1>a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify as well. Follow us on

0:40:39.000 --> 0:40:42.880
<v Speaker 1>Instagram To Doting Dads, we would really appreciate it. Actually

0:40:42.880 --> 0:40:46.279
<v Speaker 1>someone did. Right, that's a message saying I just left

0:40:46.360 --> 0:40:49.000
<v Speaker 1>your review. When do I get jerked off? Because remember

0:40:49.040 --> 0:40:50.759
<v Speaker 1>I promised that I would jerk you off if you left?

0:40:50.760 --> 0:40:52.520
<v Speaker 1>Did you say that I did?

0:40:52.640 --> 0:40:54.520
<v Speaker 2>Okay? Did we?

0:40:54.680 --> 0:40:56.120
<v Speaker 1>Now I've got a long list?

0:40:56.239 --> 0:40:59.520
<v Speaker 2>Do we specify that it's only for New South Wales residents.

0:41:00.360 --> 0:41:05.000
<v Speaker 1>And not the nanny stay? Anyway, I've got a list

0:41:05.000 --> 0:41:06.680
<v Speaker 1>of people who need to joke off, so I better

0:41:06.719 --> 0:41:08.160
<v Speaker 1>get onto that. And with that.

0:41:10.480 --> 0:41:21.920
<v Speaker 2>Us Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of

0:41:21.960 --> 0:41:26.080
<v Speaker 2>country throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.

0:41:26.320 --> 0:41:28.840
<v Speaker 1>We pay our respects to their elders past and present

0:41:28.880 --> 0:41:31.960
<v Speaker 1>and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander

0:41:32.000 --> 0:41:35.640
<v Speaker 1>people's today. This episode was recorded on gadagal Land