WEBVTT - Ask Uncut - Squirting, Solitude and Seeing your ex 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:03.760 Lifehun Cut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands 0:00:03.800 --> 0:00:06.520 were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders 0:00:06.559 --> 0:00:07.560 past and present. 0:00:07.560 --> 0:00:11.400 Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was 0:00:11.400 --> 0:00:24.320 recorded on de rug Wallamuta Land. Hi guys, and welcome 0:00:24.360 --> 0:00:26.599 back to another episode of Life on Cut. I'm Laura, 0:00:26.680 --> 0:00:29.720 I'm Brittany, and this is ask Gun Cut, our down 0:00:29.720 --> 0:00:31.240 and dirty little episode where. 0:00:31.080 --> 0:00:33.839 We answer you're deep, you're dark, and you're burning questions. 0:00:34.200 --> 0:00:34.440 Now. 0:00:34.520 --> 0:00:37.920 I hate to come in angry. Okay, so we're not 0:00:37.960 --> 0:00:39.360 answering questions straight away. 0:00:39.200 --> 0:00:41.920 No, because I want to talk about something else first. 0:00:43.040 --> 0:00:45.800 Over the weekend, Sas Australia announced their new castle. 0:00:45.840 --> 0:00:47.519 It is great. Everyone loves SAS well. 0:00:47.520 --> 0:00:50.280 Most people love it, they say, well, most people love 0:00:50.640 --> 0:00:53.120 parts of Sas like myself. There are parts I enjoy. 0:00:53.159 --> 0:00:55.040 There are parts I don't want to watch. The farting, 0:00:55.080 --> 0:00:57.320 the wanting to kill each other that I don't like that. 0:00:57.720 --> 0:00:59.480 I thought you just said the farting and I was like, 0:00:59.520 --> 0:01:02.080 I hate that, No, I hate I think Haney badgers 0:01:02.120 --> 0:01:04.000 the fart a lot apparently, so I hate that part. 0:01:04.160 --> 0:01:05.840 And the list has come out and it's pretty cool. 0:01:05.880 --> 0:01:07.600 You know if there are some Olympians on there. 0:01:07.640 --> 0:01:11.800 We've got Peter Bowl, we have Mackinachem, Stephanie Rice. We've 0:01:11.800 --> 0:01:14.440 got some amazing athletes. Then we've got the likes of 0:01:14.440 --> 0:01:17.160 Tim Robarts who was The Bachelor, has twenty five abs 0:01:17.200 --> 0:01:19.119 and then he went on to be an actor. We've 0:01:19.160 --> 0:01:22.039 got some AFL people commentators. We have the Tie Cave 0:01:22.160 --> 0:01:26.200 rescue hero Dr Craig Chalon, which is fucking great, Like 0:01:26.600 --> 0:01:30.360 what an incredible human like highlight, yes, Craig, like yes. 0:01:31.520 --> 0:01:36.280 My problem lies with the people that are only known 0:01:36.680 --> 0:01:40.240 for being either the most controversial athlete of all time, 0:01:40.319 --> 0:01:43.800 like Anthony Mundine, and people that are literally only known 0:01:44.080 --> 0:01:46.640 for drug smuggling, like literally the only reason anyone in 0:01:46.640 --> 0:01:49.120 the whole world knows that is for drug smuggling cocaine 0:01:49.200 --> 0:01:52.800 in another country, like Cassie Sainsbury, I mean cocaine Cassie 0:01:52.800 --> 0:01:55.600 for anyone who doesn't know who we're talking about, Cocaine Cassie, 0:01:55.600 --> 0:01:57.560 which is crazy. We've even given her a cute nickname, 0:01:57.600 --> 0:01:59.960 What a nickname, co Cassie. 0:02:00.120 --> 0:02:02.080 The other one as well that has really sparked some 0:02:02.120 --> 0:02:05.440 controversy in this list is Craig McLachlin. Now, Craig McLachlin 0:02:05.480 --> 0:02:08.320 was an actor, but he's also probably more famously known 0:02:08.360 --> 0:02:11.160 for being up for sexual assault charges. Now they were acquitted, 0:02:11.200 --> 0:02:13.760 but I think it's very important to reiterate that just 0:02:13.800 --> 0:02:17.000 because an assault charge or any charge is acquitted doesn't 0:02:17.040 --> 0:02:18.280 mean that the person is innocent. 0:02:18.400 --> 0:02:21.080 Well, yeah, so Craig was actually charged with assault and 0:02:21.280 --> 0:02:25.920 indecent assault over complaints from four different females that he 0:02:25.960 --> 0:02:27.919 was working with on a theater production at the time. 0:02:28.440 --> 0:02:29.200 Now it's funny that. 0:02:29.160 --> 0:02:31.680 You say you only really know him from that reason, 0:02:31.760 --> 0:02:33.480 like everyone has heard the name, but I don't know 0:02:33.520 --> 0:02:35.560 anything he's done acting wise, But I do know that 0:02:35.600 --> 0:02:37.840 he was up for these assault charges and magistrate did 0:02:37.880 --> 0:02:41.120 acquit that, but they also said that we recognize that 0:02:41.160 --> 0:02:43.480 you did this, but what happened at that time was 0:02:43.480 --> 0:02:45.920 there was a change in law, and the change in 0:02:46.040 --> 0:02:49.080 law that occurred meant he could not charged with what 0:02:49.240 --> 0:02:50.160 he had done. 0:02:50.280 --> 0:02:52.840 I did actually see an article Christy wheel and Brown, 0:02:52.840 --> 0:02:55.639 who was the woman who was up against Craig McLachlin 0:02:55.680 --> 0:02:58.720 in these charges. She took to Twitter to show how 0:02:59.440 --> 0:03:02.120 enormously frustrated she is. That's someone and not even I mean, 0:03:02.160 --> 0:03:05.680 frustrated doesn't even describe it. I can't imagine but that 0:03:05.800 --> 0:03:09.560 somebody who she had accused of indecent assault has then 0:03:09.639 --> 0:03:11.560 been welcomed back into the spotlight. But it's like the 0:03:11.600 --> 0:03:14.639 problem with SAS is that it offers this redemption arc 0:03:14.680 --> 0:03:15.120 to people. 0:03:15.440 --> 0:03:16.840 It allows people who. 0:03:16.720 --> 0:03:20.320 Are the criminal or the perpetrator to be seen in 0:03:20.360 --> 0:03:23.160 the light of the victim because they get to humanize themselves. 0:03:23.160 --> 0:03:24.880 They get to sit there and cry and say how 0:03:24.919 --> 0:03:27.400 hard the experience was for them. But it doesn't allow 0:03:27.440 --> 0:03:29.480 the people who are at the receiving end of that 0:03:29.600 --> 0:03:31.000 incident to do the same. 0:03:31.440 --> 0:03:36.200 My personal response from that situation was anger. Right when 0:03:36.200 --> 0:03:38.200 I saw that he was on the show, I was angry, 0:03:38.200 --> 0:03:41.200 and I hadn't even read about Christine her quote. Yet 0:03:41.360 --> 0:03:43.760 when I read what she said, I was furious for 0:03:43.840 --> 0:03:45.720 her and on behalf of every person that has been 0:03:45.760 --> 0:03:46.560 in that situation. 0:03:46.680 --> 0:03:47.480 This is what she said. 0:03:47.960 --> 0:03:50.400 How do we feel about someone who was charged on 0:03:50.520 --> 0:03:54.200 multiple sexual assault charges being put back on TV and 0:03:54.240 --> 0:03:58.520 being referred to as simply a controversial figure. I also 0:03:58.560 --> 0:04:01.280 saw a post saying he was the winner of that case. 0:04:01.360 --> 0:04:03.880 But if you bother to read the judgment, the judge 0:04:03.880 --> 0:04:07.960 who heard the evidence believed that it happened. I am 0:04:08.000 --> 0:04:11.960 so fucking sick of this shit. And amen, Christie, like, 0:04:12.600 --> 0:04:16.120 I cannot imagine being in her position, knowing that this 0:04:16.240 --> 0:04:19.960 person assaulted me, got off because he got lucky, assaulted 0:04:20.040 --> 0:04:20.920 multiple other women. 0:04:21.200 --> 0:04:22.240 And what do we do. 0:04:22.600 --> 0:04:24.920 We put him on a TV show that is going 0:04:24.960 --> 0:04:26.880 to help paint him in a better light and put 0:04:26.960 --> 0:04:30.599 him back into the media spotlight for good reasons only. 0:04:30.440 --> 0:04:32.719 Do you know, though, I understand why says do it? 0:04:32.760 --> 0:04:34.720 Yeah makes us angry, And here we are talking about it, 0:04:34.760 --> 0:04:36.799 But I understand why they've chosen these characters. 0:04:36.960 --> 0:04:38.360 FU can pick some better characters. 0:04:38.560 --> 0:04:40.839 But the reason why they've done it is because of 0:04:41.120 --> 0:04:43.800 the unbelievable pr that it turns out, like, well, here 0:04:43.839 --> 0:04:46.760 we are talking about sas the season hasn't even started 0:04:46.800 --> 0:04:49.000 filming yet and we're already talking about it. 0:04:49.080 --> 0:04:51.160 Yeah. But I'm all for a redemption arc, and I'm 0:04:51.200 --> 0:04:53.640 all for giving people second chances if far out, I 0:04:53.680 --> 0:04:55.719 give people like one hundred and twenty two chances. But 0:04:55.760 --> 0:04:58.640 I do think there are certain categories that do not 0:04:58.720 --> 0:05:02.840 belong on TV. You deserve a redemption arc. Privately, go 0:05:02.880 --> 0:05:03.920 and do the work yourself. 0:05:04.000 --> 0:05:06.400 Yeah, go to charity, speak to it. Yeah, be a. 0:05:06.279 --> 0:05:08.880 Better person totally, but in your own time. Don't get 0:05:09.040 --> 0:05:11.280 paid to do it. These people get paid a good 0:05:11.320 --> 0:05:14.120 amount of money and we are saying what you've done 0:05:14.160 --> 0:05:17.080 wasn't that bad. Like, he's sexually assaulted people women and 0:05:17.240 --> 0:05:19.960 he's been called controversial for it. It is so far 0:05:20.080 --> 0:05:20.520 beyond that. 0:05:20.640 --> 0:05:21.200 So I do. 0:05:21.520 --> 0:05:23.320 I do hope he's a better person, and I do 0:05:23.360 --> 0:05:25.200 hope he has changed, and I hope he's doing the work. 0:05:25.200 --> 0:05:27.240 But I don't think there is not one part of 0:05:27.240 --> 0:05:30.080 me on here that is okay with that casting. 0:05:30.160 --> 0:05:32.400 And that's just one of these controversial figures. Yeah, and 0:05:32.440 --> 0:05:33.560 I think on that, you know. 0:05:33.800 --> 0:05:36.039 So, Craig macclachlin has come out in the past in 0:05:36.120 --> 0:05:38.720 media and talked about how incredibly hard that period of 0:05:38.760 --> 0:05:43.000 life was for him. He's talked about suicidal ideation because 0:05:43.000 --> 0:05:44.960 of it. He's talked about the impact it had on 0:05:45.000 --> 0:05:47.960 his family. And my only issue, I shouldn't say my 0:05:47.960 --> 0:05:49.680 only issue, but one of the big issues with it 0:05:49.720 --> 0:05:52.600 is I guess it gives an opportunity to frame yourself 0:05:52.640 --> 0:05:54.719 as the victim when you're the one who has had 0:05:54.720 --> 0:05:56.880 the bad behavior, When you're the one who is not 0:05:56.960 --> 0:05:59.720 the victim in that instance. I think that therefore it's 0:05:59.720 --> 0:06:02.080 trying to really changed the narrative and that's the problem. 0:06:02.240 --> 0:06:04.120 The other issue is is this is a seven pm 0:06:04.200 --> 0:06:06.880 primetime spot. You know, anybody can watch this, and then 0:06:07.000 --> 0:06:09.320 it comes and begs the question of who are the 0:06:09.320 --> 0:06:11.440 people that we are putting up on a pedestal and 0:06:11.480 --> 0:06:14.000 what are we emulating and saying, well, this is a celebrity, 0:06:14.320 --> 0:06:16.440 and how does that impact sort of a younger generation 0:06:16.480 --> 0:06:19.600 who's watching it. When you see people like Anthony Mundine 0:06:19.600 --> 0:06:22.680 who made comments back in twenty eighteen which were so 0:06:23.040 --> 0:06:25.880 problematic around his views on queer people. This is what 0:06:25.920 --> 0:06:28.120 Anthony Mundine had to say, if we were to live 0:06:28.160 --> 0:06:31.839 in a society just like Aboriginal culture, that homosexuality is 0:06:31.880 --> 0:06:34.840 forbidden and you do it and there are consequences like 0:06:34.880 --> 0:06:37.760 capital punishment or death, you think you were going to 0:06:37.800 --> 0:06:40.760 do it, or think twice about doing it. That's the 0:06:40.839 --> 0:06:43.280 only way to deter the problem. He also then went 0:06:43.279 --> 0:06:45.200 on to say that we should hang the suckers and 0:06:45.320 --> 0:06:49.400 made a link between pedophilia and the queer community. It's 0:06:49.440 --> 0:06:52.760 so disgusting that that is something that can be said 0:06:52.800 --> 0:06:55.280 only in twenty eighteen, and then we're going to replatform 0:06:55.320 --> 0:06:58.560 these people. It's like almost as though, well enough times 0:06:58.600 --> 0:07:01.280 past people will forget. They won't forget enough, but they'll 0:07:01.320 --> 0:07:03.360 forget enough so that we can put them back on 0:07:03.400 --> 0:07:05.479 TV and create all the pr and the press that 0:07:05.520 --> 0:07:06.440 we need around this show. 0:07:06.520 --> 0:07:08.520 Yeah, and in just a few other controversial comments that 0:07:08.600 --> 0:07:11.640 Anthony Mundine has made, this one was about terrorism about 0:07:11.720 --> 0:07:13.600 nine to eleven, and this back in two thousand and one. 0:07:14.200 --> 0:07:16.480 They call it an act of terrorism, but if you 0:07:16.520 --> 0:07:18.800 can understand religion in our way of life, it's not 0:07:18.880 --> 0:07:21.880 about terrorism. It's about fighting for God's law and America 0:07:21.920 --> 0:07:26.000 has brought it upon themselves. He's also like called out women, 0:07:26.040 --> 0:07:28.280 like he called out Kathy Freeman for being a sellout. 0:07:28.360 --> 0:07:31.360 He made claims that men are better leaders than women. 0:07:31.520 --> 0:07:31.640 Like. 0:07:31.840 --> 0:07:33.760 He's just problematic in a lot of levels. 0:07:33.760 --> 0:07:35.920 It's not like it's just one thing. We've put him 0:07:35.920 --> 0:07:39.080 back on. And then we have Cassie Sainsbury Cocaine. Cassie 0:07:39.440 --> 0:07:42.240 the drug smuggler. She smuggled five point eight kilograms of 0:07:42.280 --> 0:07:45.960 cocaine out of Columbia. They were sealed in headphones. Good 0:07:46.040 --> 0:07:48.880 luck to a collabor very heavy headphones, and do you 0:07:48.960 --> 0:07:52.200 know what, Do I think that Cassie can have a 0:07:52.240 --> 0:07:55.160 redemption store and be a better person? I absolutely do. 0:07:55.360 --> 0:07:58.480 And do I think people make mistakes? I absolutely do. 0:07:58.720 --> 0:08:02.080 And I'm okay that we're humans people. Who knows the 0:08:02.080 --> 0:08:04.560 situation that Cassie. I don't know Cassie, but who knows 0:08:04.560 --> 0:08:06.440 the situation she was in at the time, what was 0:08:06.480 --> 0:08:09.120 going through her head, who she was hanging around all 0:08:09.160 --> 0:08:11.840 of these things. My problems not I mean, yes, of 0:08:11.880 --> 0:08:13.800 course I have a problem that she drug smuggled, but 0:08:13.920 --> 0:08:15.680 I get that she's probably done the work and she 0:08:15.760 --> 0:08:17.920 will never do that again, and she served her time. 0:08:18.200 --> 0:08:20.160 But my problems that the show puts these people on 0:08:20.680 --> 0:08:23.560 out of everyone you could put on in Australia that 0:08:23.680 --> 0:08:26.720 is out there doing the work, doing incredible things, doing 0:08:26.800 --> 0:08:30.000 inspirational things like we've got the tie Rescuer, things like 0:08:30.040 --> 0:08:32.000 this that we could be doing, but we're not. We 0:08:32.120 --> 0:08:34.680 are going out of our way. It's not like Cassie 0:08:35.160 --> 0:08:38.160 was very famous an actress or doing all these cool 0:08:38.160 --> 0:08:39.920 things and then she made a mistake and we're giving 0:08:39.920 --> 0:08:42.000 that celebrity an arc of redemption. 0:08:42.120 --> 0:08:45.480 We're not doing that. The only reason she's known is. 0:08:45.480 --> 0:08:48.679 For drug smuggling. So we've plucked her out. We said, yes, 0:08:48.800 --> 0:08:51.240 you are the one we want to put on this show. 0:08:51.480 --> 0:08:53.200 Pay you to do it, like, give you money and 0:08:53.240 --> 0:08:55.360 give you a platform. And I just wonder what that 0:08:55.559 --> 0:08:58.720 is telling young impressional people who are the people that 0:08:58.720 --> 0:09:00.400 are watching this show. What is that tell you that 0:09:00.440 --> 0:09:02.240 it's okay to do whatever you want, because look where 0:09:02.240 --> 0:09:02.720 you end up. 0:09:02.880 --> 0:09:05.440 Do you think, though, that it's a reflection of how 0:09:05.640 --> 0:09:08.719 we as viewers like that we are so because we're 0:09:08.760 --> 0:09:10.640 quite desensitized I reality TV. 0:09:10.840 --> 0:09:12.439 It gets crazier every year. 0:09:12.480 --> 0:09:13.800 We see it with mass we see it with the 0:09:13.840 --> 0:09:16.360 cheating scandals, like things have to be pushed further and 0:09:16.360 --> 0:09:17.200 further and further. 0:09:17.040 --> 0:09:18.360 To keep the audience engaged. 0:09:18.640 --> 0:09:20.600 Do you think we as the audience also play a 0:09:20.600 --> 0:09:23.520 part in this that we are suckers for controversy. 0:09:23.840 --> 0:09:24.840 We love the drama. 0:09:24.920 --> 0:09:27.040 We don't want We think we want the feel good, 0:09:27.040 --> 0:09:28.520 but then when we get the feel good, the feel 0:09:28.520 --> 0:09:31.480 good is boring to us. It's not enough of a cliffhanger. 0:09:31.520 --> 0:09:35.160 I guess I wonder whether SAS would have as much impact, 0:09:35.160 --> 0:09:36.840 whether people would talk about it in the way that 0:09:36.880 --> 0:09:40.000 they do if it was only people who were goodhearted, 0:09:40.040 --> 0:09:42.760 people who have not made mistakes, who were just olympians 0:09:42.800 --> 0:09:44.360 who are trying to put their body to the test. 0:09:44.400 --> 0:09:47.440 And it didn't have this sort of like almost a 0:09:47.559 --> 0:09:49.000 seedy undercurrent to it. 0:09:49.200 --> 0:09:52.000 But I think you can have controversy on there. For sure. 0:09:52.080 --> 0:09:53.920 I'm not saying that I don't want to watch rainbows, 0:09:53.920 --> 0:09:57.120 flowers and unicorns, but there are certain categories for me 0:09:57.360 --> 0:10:01.520 that we do not celebrate. That is domestic viol sexual assault, 0:10:02.200 --> 0:10:04.680 and homophobia. I don't know if I'm in a league 0:10:04.679 --> 0:10:06.840 of my own saying that this, And I mean, guys, 0:10:06.840 --> 0:10:09.360 you've announced this list off the back of World Pride. 0:10:09.920 --> 0:10:12.320 I do not get it. I think it is the 0:10:12.360 --> 0:10:16.400 worst casting I have seen. I cannot imagine how these 0:10:16.400 --> 0:10:19.280 four women feel knowing that someone that's sexually assaulted them 0:10:19.320 --> 0:10:22.440 is now on a TV show becoming famous, and he 0:10:22.520 --> 0:10:24.640 will you watch, It'll put him back in the media, 0:10:24.640 --> 0:10:27.480 people forget everything he did. He'll cry, because that's what 0:10:27.480 --> 0:10:30.439 they do. He'll cry on the show and people for him. 0:10:30.440 --> 0:10:32.840 People will feel empathetic for him, and maybe he was 0:10:32.840 --> 0:10:35.000 in a bad place, and no one deserves to have 0:10:35.080 --> 0:10:36.599 these suicidal ideations. 0:10:36.640 --> 0:10:39.040 And you know the fact that he said he had that. 0:10:39.040 --> 0:10:41.160 That's terrible, and I hope he is getting the help 0:10:41.200 --> 0:10:43.920 he needs to reform in every aspect of his life. 0:10:43.920 --> 0:10:45.319 But we don't need to see that on TV. 0:10:45.559 --> 0:10:46.480 Yeah, I totally agree. 0:10:46.480 --> 0:10:48.440 Look, I mean there's been other things in terms of 0:10:48.559 --> 0:10:51.320 SAS that I find a bit troubling, and I know 0:10:51.400 --> 0:10:53.720 that it is a well watched and well received show. 0:10:53.760 --> 0:10:55.920 I know that people love the physicality of it. They 0:10:55.960 --> 0:10:58.440 love the idea of pushing your body to the extreme. 0:10:58.920 --> 0:11:02.000 They enjoy the military structure of it and almost seeing 0:11:02.120 --> 0:11:05.880 behind the scenes of what veterans or military personnel go through. 0:11:06.160 --> 0:11:08.760 The reason why I have, and I guess this comes 0:11:08.800 --> 0:11:11.200 from a bit more of a personal perspective an issue 0:11:11.200 --> 0:11:15.199 with it is because I think it really glorifies war, 0:11:15.480 --> 0:11:18.960 and it really glorifies warrior masculinity, which I think is 0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:21.480 quite toxic in itself. And the reason why I say 0:11:21.480 --> 0:11:24.400 that is because you know, I come from an army family. 0:11:24.440 --> 0:11:25.840 My dad has been in the army or was in 0:11:25.880 --> 0:11:28.960 the army for over twenty eight years, and so I 0:11:29.080 --> 0:11:33.080 have seen the very long term effects that happened the PTSD, 0:11:33.240 --> 0:11:36.200 the depression, the strain that has on not just your 0:11:36.240 --> 0:11:39.280 physical body, but on your mental capacity when you're somebody 0:11:39.320 --> 0:11:42.040 who has long term served in the Special Forces. And 0:11:42.080 --> 0:11:45.280 I guess for me seeing it being used as entertainment 0:11:45.320 --> 0:11:47.960 and having celebrities kind of run around and yelling at 0:11:48.000 --> 0:11:50.920 each other and obviously putting their bodies to the absolute limits, 0:11:51.120 --> 0:11:54.480 but I just think it really trivializes what these people 0:11:54.480 --> 0:11:56.920 go through. And also on top of that, the fact 0:11:56.920 --> 0:11:59.880 that this season is being filmed in Afghanistan. I really 0:12:00.080 --> 0:12:02.440 think that we're trying to like create this entertainment around 0:12:02.440 --> 0:12:04.640 something that really shouldn't be entertainment. 0:12:04.880 --> 0:12:08.079 Yeah, and it's an interesting perspective because you come from 0:12:08.120 --> 0:12:11.280 it from a very personal perspective. I mean, you've seen 0:12:11.320 --> 0:12:13.400 it and you've gone through it with your family members. 0:12:13.440 --> 0:12:15.200 I've lived the PTSD with my dad. 0:12:15.320 --> 0:12:17.679 Yeah, So that's and I think there'd be a lot 0:12:17.720 --> 0:12:20.400 of people out there right now saying, yes, Laura agree 0:12:20.520 --> 0:12:22.480 because they've got a family member that have gone through 0:12:22.559 --> 0:12:25.240 the same thing. I totally see what you're saying, Laura. 0:12:25.280 --> 0:12:28.080 But as a consumer that doesn't have that tie, I 0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:30.400 can sit back and there are parts I thoroughly enjoy, 0:12:30.559 --> 0:12:33.160 Like when we used to watch that stupid show wipe Out, 0:12:33.200 --> 0:12:35.480 you know, wipe out the people run and jump on 0:12:35.520 --> 0:12:37.760 these big balls and get pumped. You know, I love 0:12:37.800 --> 0:12:39.760 watching that. I love watching that. I think it's fun 0:12:39.800 --> 0:12:41.760 to go watch the celebrity do an obstical course and 0:12:41.800 --> 0:12:45.120 get pumped and get yeller. Yeah, my problem is in 0:12:45.200 --> 0:12:48.199 the people that we're saying are celebrities and are worthy 0:12:48.200 --> 0:12:51.480 of being paid to go on this show and have 0:12:51.559 --> 0:12:52.439 a bigger platform. 0:12:52.600 --> 0:12:55.680 Well, let's see who was watching it when it also 0:12:55.760 --> 0:12:57.079 comes to probably watch it hack. 0:12:57.440 --> 0:12:57.880 I won't. 0:12:58.840 --> 0:13:00.400 I'll only be watching it probably so I can come 0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:04.520 on and have another rant. But that's all question number one, Hi, girls, 0:13:04.559 --> 0:13:07.160 I need help. My ex and I have mutual friends 0:13:07.200 --> 0:13:10.000 that are coming down to visit for a weekend coming up, 0:13:10.320 --> 0:13:12.600 so it's likely that we are all going to hang 0:13:12.640 --> 0:13:15.319 out as a big group at some stage, meaning I'm 0:13:15.360 --> 0:13:18.000 gonna have to see my ex. I haven't seen or 0:13:18.040 --> 0:13:21.040 spoken to him in months and things did not end 0:13:21.080 --> 0:13:23.480 well because he cheated on me. I don't want to 0:13:23.480 --> 0:13:25.360 miss out on hanging out with my friends. I feel 0:13:25.400 --> 0:13:28.320 like I can't expect him to either. It would probably 0:13:28.360 --> 0:13:30.560 be in a group of about five to seven people. 0:13:30.960 --> 0:13:33.160 Should I still hang out with my friends when I 0:13:33.240 --> 0:13:35.920 know my ex will be there. If I'm on the 0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:38.520 fence about wanting to keep things civilized. 0:13:38.120 --> 0:13:44.079 Woo, what would you do? I would I have a 0:13:44.160 --> 0:13:48.400 friend that is doing this right now. Really yeah for me. 0:13:48.760 --> 0:13:51.320 Like I probably wouldn't go, no, because I think you'd 0:13:51.320 --> 0:13:52.280 go bick kray cray. 0:13:52.320 --> 0:13:54.840 Though I just wouldn't go because, like, if you already 0:13:54.840 --> 0:13:56.880 had the friendship with those friends, you already see them 0:13:56.920 --> 0:14:00.320 outside of whenever he's around. Even though yes, maybe it 0:14:00.360 --> 0:14:03.440 then makes a point that you're like, he might realize 0:14:03.440 --> 0:14:05.400 that the reason you're not there is because of him, 0:14:05.600 --> 0:14:07.760 and that's a bit of a point to be made. 0:14:07.800 --> 0:14:10.200 I guess taking care of yourself and your own self 0:14:10.200 --> 0:14:13.040 preservation is way more important than putting up on a 0:14:13.120 --> 0:14:15.520 front to hang out with people that you're gonna see anyway, 0:14:15.559 --> 0:14:17.240 in a friendship that you're going to maintain regardless. 0:14:17.280 --> 0:14:18.760 I just imagine you, you know, like you're out at 0:14:18.800 --> 0:14:19.880 dinner in one of those long tables. 0:14:19.880 --> 0:14:21.400 You're at the other end, just like flicking peas and 0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:25.520 him across the table just snotted. 0:14:25.760 --> 0:14:27.960 It's also different, like if it's a wedding or if 0:14:27.960 --> 0:14:29.400 it's an event that you're going to miss out on 0:14:29.480 --> 0:14:32.040 actual something that's going to be important, it's going to be. 0:14:32.000 --> 0:14:33.360 Time stamped as a memory. 0:14:33.640 --> 0:14:36.800 But if it's just hanging out because you don't want 0:14:36.800 --> 0:14:38.720 to be left out of this group, I think you 0:14:38.840 --> 0:14:40.640 just pick and choose the times when you're actually gonna 0:14:40.640 --> 0:14:41.320 spend time together. 0:14:41.440 --> 0:14:41.840 Totally. 0:14:41.880 --> 0:14:44.360 So it sounds like you and you're leaving the same 0:14:44.400 --> 0:14:46.680 place and your big group of friends is coming down 0:14:46.720 --> 0:14:47.080 to visit. 0:14:47.120 --> 0:14:49.480 This is what it sounds like. I think in this case, 0:14:49.720 --> 0:14:51.880 just tell them you want to do shits separately. 0:14:51.640 --> 0:14:53.320 Let them go to dinner, and then you say, let's 0:14:53.320 --> 0:14:55.520 have breakfast in the morning, or let's have dinner tomorrow night. 0:14:55.600 --> 0:14:57.680 I think if you can avoid putting yourself in a 0:14:57.720 --> 0:15:00.760 situation that's going to be somewhat traumat It was a 0:15:00.800 --> 0:15:03.000 few months ago, he cheated on you and it ended badly. 0:15:03.760 --> 0:15:06.840 I wouldn't be doing it no way in hell if it. Yes, Laura, 0:15:06.960 --> 0:15:08.480 do you think it was a wedding? Yes? 0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:11.080 Do you think sometimes though, when you're in this position, 0:15:11.200 --> 0:15:13.200 like I just think back on like if this was 0:15:13.240 --> 0:15:15.560 me and this had happened, which I know I've been 0:15:15.600 --> 0:15:17.080 in a very similar situation before. 0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:19.800 I personally think the reason. 0:15:19.520 --> 0:15:22.360 Why I would find it difficult to choose between going 0:15:22.440 --> 0:15:25.320 or not going is also because a little part of 0:15:25.360 --> 0:15:27.680 me would just want to see I just want to 0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:28.120 see him. 0:15:28.240 --> 0:15:30.280 I know, I want to go look and really buy 0:15:30.320 --> 0:15:32.080 a flame, like I'd want to be a fire flame. 0:15:32.400 --> 0:15:34.280 He walks in and he's like, damn, she's hot. Five flame, 0:15:34.320 --> 0:15:35.760 That's what I would like. I just want a bit 0:15:35.800 --> 0:15:36.800 of that drama in my life. 0:15:36.840 --> 0:15:38.400 And there's a little bit of me that's like, oh, 0:15:38.440 --> 0:15:40.600 I know that it's so hard to choose between the 0:15:40.600 --> 0:15:43.200 two things, but really, deep down in the bottom of 0:15:43.200 --> 0:15:45.560 the pits of my stomach, I like fucking like the 0:15:45.600 --> 0:15:47.960 drama a little bit, don't you reckon? I just feel 0:15:48.000 --> 0:15:49.600 like this is such an obvious one, Like if he's 0:15:49.640 --> 0:15:52.800 cheated on you, you're not together, Yes, you have mutual friends. 0:15:53.120 --> 0:15:55.920 Surely your friends would understand the need that you have 0:15:56.080 --> 0:15:57.880 to not want to see him, because that's going to 0:15:57.880 --> 0:15:59.440 play on your mental health. It's going to make you 0:15:59.480 --> 0:16:01.760 feel shit. You're going to be in a situation where 0:16:01.800 --> 0:16:04.080 you feel uncomfortable. You're actually not going to be able 0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:06.000 to enjoy the time with your friends anyway, because you're 0:16:06.000 --> 0:16:08.840 gonna sit there being self conscious the whole time. Wondering 0:16:08.840 --> 0:16:11.520 whether he's looking at you, wondering whether he's thinking about you, 0:16:11.960 --> 0:16:13.920 And if he's not doing any of those things, you're 0:16:13.920 --> 0:16:16.280 gonna feel even shitter because you're like, oh, he doesn't 0:16:16.280 --> 0:16:18.960 even care. I don't even rate in his radar. I think, 0:16:19.000 --> 0:16:20.480 just don't put yourself in that situation. 0:16:20.560 --> 0:16:23.440 If I can do, not go. Yeah, my friend that 0:16:23.640 --> 0:16:26.520 is like in this situation, did she go? He It's 0:16:26.520 --> 0:16:29.240 not a one off. It's been an ongoing saga that 0:16:29.280 --> 0:16:31.920 we have for like six months. Same thing. He was 0:16:31.920 --> 0:16:33.000 in a really bad relationship. 0:16:33.120 --> 0:16:36.920 The other guy's toxic, cheated and multiple times bad egg right, 0:16:36.960 --> 0:16:40.120 But they have this big group of friends and over 0:16:40.280 --> 0:16:43.680 and over and over again, he goes to the same 0:16:43.720 --> 0:16:45.520 events knowing he's going to be there, and I said, 0:16:45.520 --> 0:16:47.240 why don't you and then he always ends up being 0:16:47.280 --> 0:16:48.480 like it was so fucked. 0:16:49.800 --> 0:16:52.640 He did this a terrible time. I was like, Okay, 0:16:53.000 --> 0:16:54.320 why do you keep doing it? 0:16:54.440 --> 0:16:56.120 Don't go And he's like, I've got to go this 0:16:56.160 --> 0:16:58.400 weekend because it's you know, Pride or whatever. We're going 0:16:58.440 --> 0:16:59.480 to be there, and I said, I get that you 0:16:59.520 --> 0:17:00.680