1 00:00:00,640 --> 00:00:02,680 Speaker 1: This is a Will and Woody podcast. 2 00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:07,400 Speaker 2: Ninni, let's torch some dudes. Thirteen one oh sixty five 3 00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:08,160 Speaker 2: is our number. 4 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:10,760 Speaker 3: If you have a story about a man trying and 5 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:17,360 Speaker 3: failing to be romantic, let's just have a good giggle 6 00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:19,920 Speaker 3: about it. If you're a blog by the way, and 7 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:22,440 Speaker 3: you know you've had a failed attempt at being romantic 8 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:25,880 Speaker 3: as well, I will also take the confessions we're talking 9 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:28,800 Speaker 3: about it, Wilbert, because there's some footage that's been taken 10 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:32,120 Speaker 3: at a college basketball game of a guy who was 11 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:36,839 Speaker 3: clearly trying to flirt with a blonde woman, and you 12 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:39,400 Speaker 3: can just tell the way he's standing, the mannerisms, etc. 13 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:41,560 Speaker 2: That he was trying to impress her. 14 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:45,840 Speaker 3: And at one point he dips into his wallet and 15 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:48,680 Speaker 3: pulls out his Costco membership card. 16 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:51,440 Speaker 2: Oh wow, and looks to hand. 17 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:53,800 Speaker 3: The Costco card over to her as if to go 18 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:57,520 Speaker 3: like a baby, full member, I got the gold package. 19 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:02,480 Speaker 3: Let's do this thing, which is just extraordinary stuff. 20 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:05,160 Speaker 2: So yeah, thirteen one or six five years our number. 21 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,160 Speaker 3: I do want to hear more stories of men trying 22 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:08,480 Speaker 3: to be romantic and failing. 23 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:09,399 Speaker 2: I believe, Wilbur. 24 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:12,840 Speaker 4: You and just before you come for me, sure you 25 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:16,280 Speaker 4: want to. I read about six down before in the song, but. 26 00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:17,160 Speaker 2: Go go for it. 27 00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:21,480 Speaker 3: Can I can I just have one? 28 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:24,399 Speaker 2: I'm just going to do one little? Can we just 29 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:26,800 Speaker 2: go Let's just do one? Me do a pea shooter 30 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:31,319 Speaker 2: at you. We put it down? No, I think I've 31 00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:33,560 Speaker 2: got one and I always find money. Yeah, come on, 32 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:35,920 Speaker 2: let us put it down. And I just think the 33 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,240 Speaker 2: radiation needs to keep moving. 34 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:39,680 Speaker 3: So after minds, we'll go to some calls, we'll play 35 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:42,000 Speaker 3: some songs. It's going to be great radio. So let's 36 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:44,520 Speaker 3: just focus on you. But I remember when we were 37 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:47,520 Speaker 3: living in Perth. You had a was a former partner, 38 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,360 Speaker 3: and you thought it would be hot to try and 39 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:52,440 Speaker 3: impress her that you would You would bring her down 40 00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 3: to your DJ gigs and she would literally sit in 41 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:58,680 Speaker 3: the corner and watch you DJ for four hours. 42 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:01,880 Speaker 2: And I just I just can't believe in what world 43 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:04,560 Speaker 2: you thought that was a romantic romandic. 44 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:07,120 Speaker 4: It was hot. It was hotter than a man's spinning 45 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:12,640 Speaker 4: the wheels of steel. We can go to you. I 46 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:16,120 Speaker 4: think I'm not sure if we have because that was 47 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:17,040 Speaker 4: a while ago for me. 48 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:19,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, I can talk recently for you. 49 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:23,960 Speaker 4: Go on, well, I think in and around MIM's birthday, 50 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,080 Speaker 4: you tend to try your most romantic stuff on. 51 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:29,120 Speaker 2: I tend to have missus on the birthday pressure. 52 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:30,440 Speaker 4: You went for the you dressed up was the mad 53 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:31,280 Speaker 4: Hatter this year? 54 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,799 Speaker 2: Last year, that was I was a pussy cat this. 55 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:35,119 Speaker 4: Year and actually terrified her. 56 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:37,800 Speaker 2: Yeah I did scare her. Yeah, yeah, yeah she was rattled. 57 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:41,640 Speaker 2: You're a freak. Was a freak that it hang on 58 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:42,360 Speaker 2: to give some context. 59 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:45,320 Speaker 3: She was in wonderland, yes, but I went full method, 60 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:48,600 Speaker 3: I became the hatter, and yeah, she was very scared. 61 00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:51,880 Speaker 4: And then the other one that comes to mind is 62 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:55,720 Speaker 4: for her birthday, you got a dressing count. 63 00:02:55,919 --> 00:02:57,560 Speaker 2: With her name on it, with. 64 00:02:58,919 --> 00:03:02,800 Speaker 4: Which you ordered from this aides which which didn't arrive 65 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:04,600 Speaker 4: because the whole thing was a scam. 66 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:07,200 Speaker 3: I think they're still taking money from my account. I 67 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:08,560 Speaker 3: really need to do something about that. 68 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:10,920 Speaker 4: Which is really great. One of my favorites. 69 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:15,160 Speaker 2: All right, give to your rest. Let's go to Matthew. Matthew, 70 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:17,600 Speaker 2: You've got a story. This is a confession, mate. 71 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:20,480 Speaker 1: A bit of a confession, A big file on my behalf. 72 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:21,560 Speaker 2: Did you do? Maddie? 73 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:25,240 Speaker 1: Married to my wife for over twenty years and I 74 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:27,079 Speaker 1: was on a promise I was on a thank you 75 00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:29,160 Speaker 1: I was on a promise that night, but she was 76 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:31,480 Speaker 1: going out and I was a bit tired, so I thought, oh, 77 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:34,960 Speaker 1: I can't miss this opportunity. So I tied the drawstring 78 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:38,600 Speaker 1: on her pajama pants to me toe, hoping that when 79 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:40,880 Speaker 1: she walked in in the middle of the night, she'd 80 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:44,160 Speaker 1: grab them and wake me up and I'll be ready. Unfortunately, 81 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 1: I wake up in the morning with them around me foot. 82 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:48,440 Speaker 1: Still she got another pair out. 83 00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:55,560 Speaker 3: That is just such an elaborate plan that I couldn't 84 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:56,160 Speaker 3: have failed. 85 00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:00,840 Speaker 4: Listen to you. You wanted to wake when she got home, 86 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:03,680 Speaker 4: so you tied the draw string of her pajama pants 87 00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:05,560 Speaker 4: around your toe. 88 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,720 Speaker 1: Yes, I'd be awake. 89 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:11,800 Speaker 2: The good old alarm clock. 90 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:13,360 Speaker 4: Mate, What time are you going to be. 91 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:16,120 Speaker 1: On time she was going to be home. 92 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:19,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, don't let her get to sleep with that work. 93 00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:23,680 Speaker 4: You know I've made men trying to be romantic and failing. 94 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:24,120 Speaker 2: Woods. 95 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:29,560 Speaker 4: You got a story story of you an intimate trip 96 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:33,520 Speaker 4: to Japan with a form of flame yep booked a 97 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:39,159 Speaker 4: hotel in Tokyo, the two of you. Turns out you 98 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:40,160 Speaker 4: booked a sex hotel. 99 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:45,240 Speaker 2: I couldn't believe that cheap It was this this is unfortunately, 100 00:04:45,279 --> 00:04:47,520 Speaker 2: this is the true story. You booked it for a week, 101 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,960 Speaker 2: four week, and the is that true? 102 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,479 Speaker 4: When you go there, they were like, because it was 103 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:52,240 Speaker 4: just a one night. 104 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:54,719 Speaker 2: Special sort of a plan, a one hour special place. 105 00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:58,400 Speaker 2: Usually the usual thing is people book it for the hour, 106 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:01,719 Speaker 2: booked a week. The booking wasn't a week. It was like, 107 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:05,000 Speaker 2: and you're here for three thousand hours. And it looked 108 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:06,800 Speaker 2: at me like I was a god. They were just like, 109 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:10,359 Speaker 2: oh my god. It just praised me. That was just 110 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:13,480 Speaker 2: like you're gonna go all week? Well, what else are 111 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:17,160 Speaker 2: you doing here? Yeah? They praised me. They praised men. 112 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:21,880 Speaker 4: I am is called good an I am. 113 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:21,720 Speaker 5: Yeah, hello, Hi, Hi. 114 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:24,200 Speaker 4: This is a guy that couldn't be romantic with you. 115 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:27,719 Speaker 5: Oh, he could not be romantic at all. I'm just 116 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:30,240 Speaker 5: going to keep a knife in short. So this is 117 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:32,960 Speaker 5: a gentleman that I liked for quite some time. Okay, 118 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:35,839 Speaker 5: So I decided one night it would be cute to 119 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:39,240 Speaker 5: sort of get him to come over. And you know, 120 00:05:39,279 --> 00:05:41,880 Speaker 5: I just have a chill watching movie. So I just 121 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:45,600 Speaker 5: I spent two hours thinking what I was going to cook. Oh, 122 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:48,599 Speaker 5: if I should just get something simple? Now, I decided 123 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:51,560 Speaker 5: to go with a platter, a full platter with everything 124 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:54,839 Speaker 5: in it. And because I like my drink, I work 125 00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:56,280 Speaker 5: a lot, I decided. 126 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,640 Speaker 4: I was keeping it short, and I am. 127 00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:58,160 Speaker 6: I'll tell you what. 128 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:00,680 Speaker 4: You can have three minutes. You're a couple of minutes 129 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:03,160 Speaker 4: in and you can think about your bunchlines. Now we've 130 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:04,960 Speaker 4: got to Stephanie. We've got to Stephanie. 131 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:06,400 Speaker 3: You'd hate to. 132 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:07,200 Speaker 2: Hear the long version. 133 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:10,640 Speaker 4: She's got some time, she's got some time to think 134 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:12,000 Speaker 4: about how she's going to graft that. 135 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:14,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll go back to her, back to her a 136 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:15,240 Speaker 2: lost her at platter. 137 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:18,719 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I think anyone that starts this story with 138 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:19,760 Speaker 4: I'm going to keep it sure. 139 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:22,000 Speaker 3: She also justified while she likes to drink, she goes, 140 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,680 Speaker 3: I like a good drink because I work really hard. 141 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:24,640 Speaker 2: Like we don't need. 142 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:25,040 Speaker 4: To know that. 143 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:27,240 Speaker 2: Anyway, Let's go to Stephanie. 144 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:29,960 Speaker 3: Stephanie, this was your dad who was trying to be 145 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:31,120 Speaker 3: romantic and failing. 146 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:34,040 Speaker 6: I'll actually keep it short. 147 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:41,960 Speaker 4: I'll tell you what, how about this in the waiting room? 148 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,640 Speaker 4: Would like to be in the green room right now. 149 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:48,920 Speaker 6: My mum got a promotion at work, and my dad 150 00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:51,040 Speaker 6: thought it would be a great idea to get her 151 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:55,919 Speaker 6: a trophy, but she decided that he'd make it, and 152 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:59,480 Speaker 6: so he went down to kmart and got some kitchen 153 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:03,800 Speaker 6: utenti kitchen utensils, cluck them together and then got a 154 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:06,360 Speaker 6: little plastic soccer ball and put it on top. 155 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:07,640 Speaker 5: That was a trophy. 156 00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:11,640 Speaker 2: Oh my god happened? And how was it received? Steps? 157 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:12,720 Speaker 2: It received received well? 158 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:13,600 Speaker 1: But Mom. 159 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:16,560 Speaker 4: Did she know it was a trophy? 160 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:16,760 Speaker 6: Well? 161 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:19,000 Speaker 2: Not so well. You know, it was a trophy. 162 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,440 Speaker 4: I'd be looking at that thinking it was like a 163 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,760 Speaker 4: meat pounder or something. 164 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:22,840 Speaker 5: It was weird. 165 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:24,680 Speaker 6: It was weird meat pound Yeah. 166 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:26,880 Speaker 4: You know one of those like soccer ball and meat gavels, 167 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:30,560 Speaker 4: soccer ball, you know, World Cup edition meat Pamela. 168 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:34,200 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I think it was a trophy that if 169 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:39,760 Speaker 3: someone makes making like making something, that's a lovely gesture. 170 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:41,760 Speaker 2: Shame on the moment, mate. 171 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,680 Speaker 4: From a guy who's the worst gift giver in the world. 172 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:47,480 Speaker 4: You're thinking about giving mim a mattress for Christmas. If 173 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:50,000 Speaker 4: you say that, let's go back to nam. Who's going 174 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:50,320 Speaker 4: to have a. 175 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:51,000 Speaker 2: Second creak at this? 176 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:53,600 Speaker 4: I am You've got You've got twenty seconds to get 177 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:54,320 Speaker 4: to your page line. 178 00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:59,040 Speaker 5: We'll keep a knife and short, all right, so he 179 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:01,240 Speaker 5: ended up coming over with a Hennessy bottle. 180 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:03,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, oh yeah, you like a drink yet? 181 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:09,160 Speaker 5: Because I do. Anyways, so as I poured a bit 182 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,960 Speaker 5: of the Hennessy into the two cups that I took out, 183 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:20,280 Speaker 5: it turned out to be a water. Oh how embarrassing 184 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:20,680 Speaker 5: is that? 185 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:26,200 Speaker 4: I see he was trying to be romantic. You're romantic 186 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:28,840 Speaker 4: and he rocked over with Hennessy. He rocked over the 187 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:29,440 Speaker 4: bottle of water. 188 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:32,680 Speaker 5: It's on a Hennessy bottle. 189 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:34,160 Speaker 1: But thank you, guys. 190 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,600 Speaker 4: Great, No, you can have one hundred bucks to spend 191 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:40,439 Speaker 4: at Red Roaster. The roast is killing you. You what pleasure? 192 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:42,840 Speaker 2: Mate? Great stuff. He is an absolute stitch up on 193 00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:44,439 Speaker 2: the bloke though it's actually. 194 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:47,400 Speaker 4: A really funny punch line. It was a really funny. 195 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:48,920 Speaker 2: Well, it wasn't great, It was good. 196 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:50,680 Speaker 4: I find out that she works hard and she loves 197 00:08:50,679 --> 00:08:53,040 Speaker 4: a butter. On the way there, did you even John 198 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:55,880 Speaker 4: that there's got two glasses out? I was like, mate, 199 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:57,560 Speaker 4: I swear to God if we get one more detail 200 00:08:57,600 --> 00:09:00,319 Speaker 4: from you, Philip, I feel like I was trying to 201 00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:02,360 Speaker 4: solve a mystery the whole way through, Like, what's. 202 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,120 Speaker 2: Going to be significant? 203 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:03,840 Speaker 1: What detail? 204 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:08,959 Speaker 4: Phillips called Phil last call here, keep it short. You 205 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:10,920 Speaker 4: were trying to impress a girl far away. 206 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:13,560 Speaker 5: Oh yeah, So this was in a park and I 207 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,319 Speaker 5: was just trying to dance and then I slipped. I 208 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:17,800 Speaker 5: slipped on Dongku and I got all over my shirt 209 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:18,199 Speaker 5: and face. 210 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:24,280 Speaker 4: I tell you, tell the story. No I ever listening 211 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:25,760 Speaker 4: and more of 212 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:29,079 Speaker 2: The boys on the full podcast just scroll up.