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Speaker 1: What I was saying, Matt, I'm feeling a little bit old.

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Speaker 1: So last night I was having a wake Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: I've done something to my shoulder somehow.

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Speaker 2: How hard were you anking?

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Speaker 1: The usual vigorous? But I've done something to my shoulder.

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Speaker 1: And this morning I literally like, I'm all right now

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Speaker 1: because I've I've had to take some andy inflammatories.

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Speaker 2: You're fucking kidding me, Oh my god. Welcome back to

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Speaker 2: two Dirty Dads. I'm Maddie Jay and I'm Ash. This

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Speaker 2: is a podcast all about parenting. It's the good, the bad,

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Speaker 2: and the relatable. And look, if you have come to

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Speaker 2: this podcast and for some reason you were hoping to

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Speaker 2: get any kind of advice, I'm so to say that

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Speaker 2: we don't give any whatsoever.

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Speaker 1: Er.

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Speaker 2: But if you've come here wanting to hear about Ash

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Speaker 2: during himself as her wanks, then get comfortable because you're

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Speaker 2: in for a treat. Yay, So this morning you're you

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Speaker 2: You've taken an anti inflammatory, You've got your injury.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so I said, oh, my shoulder was really sure.

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Speaker 1: Obviously I didn't want to tell her why and I said, oh,

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Speaker 1: I must have been from when I like picked up

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Speaker 1: the dog.

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Speaker 2: The dog tiny the dog's like the size of a rat.

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Speaker 2: The dog weighs about three kilo.

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Speaker 1: That's the excuse.

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Speaker 2: That's even more concerning if you're like I lifted up

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Speaker 2: that pen and I've injured myself. April's like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 2: you okay, and she said, is it the.

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Speaker 1: Same reoccurring shoulder. I'm like, yeah, so.

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Speaker 2: You've done it before. You're going to have to get

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Speaker 2: a reconstruction.

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Speaker 1: And the doctor, the surgeon is going to be like,

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Speaker 1: what did you do?

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Speaker 2: I was like, wow, baseball, baseball, cricket, Like I wank

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Speaker 2: a lot.

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Speaker 1: It was just a very very vigorous mate.

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Speaker 2: It's a sad reality. I threw my back out literally

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Speaker 2: trying to.

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Speaker 1: Suck your dick. Let's get off dicks. But you tell

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Speaker 1: us about it.

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Speaker 2: You haven't done that in quite a while. I just

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Speaker 2: woke up. I woke up and all of a sudden,

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Speaker 2: my back. My back is fucking so I can't. Every

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Speaker 2: step I take is with a breath of the lower back.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you're gonna mate like that. He's like always, but

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Speaker 1: he does like, manuel, Aby, what's your excuse? Just slept wrong? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: thing you can get injured from sleeping wrong?

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, Like, well, even you can't escape.

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Speaker 1: Like I said, I just want one week without an ailment.

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Speaker 1: I got a pimple inside my nose. That is, I

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Speaker 1: can't even touch my nose. I tried to blow my

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Speaker 1: nose before leaving the house before and I just about died.

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Speaker 1: Whereabouts is it which straws this side up in there?

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Speaker 1: Like it's like there if that hurt?

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Speaker 2: Well, the good thing is Ash, I can't see the pimple.

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Speaker 2: And you look fantastic. You look well rested. At the

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Speaker 2: time of recording, we are yet to be on stage,

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Speaker 2: but Ash and I've got our first hosting gig. We

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Speaker 2: are doing the Australian Podcast Awards, which I don't know

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Speaker 2: if we've mentioned on the podcast, but we are nominated.

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Speaker 1: We are nominated, Yeah, in.

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Speaker 2: The category of best Podcast in Parenting.

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Speaker 1: They're mental nominating us.

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Speaker 2: Well we can we can say this will come out

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Speaker 2: after the awards and we already know that we haven't

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Speaker 2: won because we're hosting the awards. We've already got the

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Speaker 2: script and we had a phone call where they were like, hey,

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Speaker 2: this is how it's going to happen. Slid it in there.

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Speaker 2: It was like calling up your partner and you're like Hey,

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Speaker 2: how I good? We should break up and yeah you

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Speaker 2: got your shirts look back.

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Speaker 1: But my response to that was what sort of world

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Speaker 1: would we live in if we would win a parenting

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Speaker 1: podcast awards concerning I would hate to live in that world.

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Speaker 1: Let the people who know what they're talking about win.

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Speaker 1: We'll just make jokes about it.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm just we were up against Hamish Blake and

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Speaker 2: we just wanted to beat Hamish, so.

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Speaker 1: We technically we did. Yeah, she said you were second best.

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Speaker 2: She's doing his first big bit of m sing and he's.

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Speaker 1: A little bit I'm fucking so, I'm a mess. I

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Speaker 1: can't be alone with my own thoughts. That's pretty much

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Speaker 1: from it. I was driving over here and I was like,

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Speaker 1: this is this is bad?

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Speaker 2: What did you listen to in the drive over?

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Speaker 1: I just had to put really loud Drake on, but

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Speaker 1: it was just all the sad boy songs.

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Speaker 2: You will feel so good.

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Speaker 1: Oh, I know, once we get it done, I know. Look, Look,

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Speaker 1: one thing I do well is talk shit. Yes, very good,

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Speaker 1: but just the thought of doing it in front of that,

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Speaker 1: but it's I need to do it. Yeah, I keep

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Speaker 1: telling myself that I'm good, I'm all right, we'll check

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Speaker 1: it with me tomorrow. I'm fucking shake you know that

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Speaker 1: we're talking about it anyway, because let's move on.

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Speaker 2: Did you have a good weekend? I know you're away, Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I just was going to talk to you about that

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Speaker 1: because we're both away. We're both away, not on the

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Speaker 1: same trip.

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Speaker 2: One day, one day. I hope.

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Speaker 1: I don't have the budget.

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Speaker 2: Where'd you guys go?

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Speaker 1: Just just stated at a local bus stop we went

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Speaker 1: up to Central Coast. One of the mother's group has a.

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Speaker 2: This fucking mother's growth.

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Speaker 1: Go on, they have a holiday house up there.

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Speaker 2: When you you just add who's got the other holiday

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Speaker 2: house down with?

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Speaker 1: This is like a more This is one down south,

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Speaker 1: different couple. This is a different couple together, but the

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Speaker 1: house is.

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Speaker 2: How have you infiltrated a mother's group where every second

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Speaker 2: person has a holiday house?

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Speaker 1: I think they just feel sorry for me. But what

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Speaker 1: this guy to live somewhat of a life like us? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: one of us? Anyway, it's a different family together. But

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Speaker 1: the thing is with this house is it shared between

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Speaker 1: twenty two cousins and aunties and something apparently.

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Speaker 2: Who has twenty two cousins.

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Speaker 1: I don't want tomate. You should have seen the family photo.

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Speaker 1: I should have taken a photo the family photo. What

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Speaker 1: was it?

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Speaker 2: What was the family photo?

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Speaker 1: Was one of those ones from like the night looked

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Speaker 1: like a ninety sick com but it was like thirty

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Speaker 1: people Anyway, they work on a Google calendar for who

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Speaker 1: has the holiday house, and there's all these rules everywhere,

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Speaker 1: like fully written out, like the house, Like, what kind

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Speaker 1: of rules I took a photo?

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Speaker 2: Okay, because you know I don't know I've done this,

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Speaker 2: I dare say that, as you were not someone who

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Speaker 2: likes to follow the rules.

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Speaker 1: This is the house rules. But keeping in mind, this

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Speaker 1: is on the back of the toilet.

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Speaker 2: Door, so didn't read it out to me?

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Speaker 1: Okay, I'll read it how show first?

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Speaker 2: Oh fuck?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's oh my. So let me just rattle off

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Speaker 1: a couple Yeah, you must be eight years or over

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Speaker 1: to plate on the pool table.

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Speaker 2: That's discrimatory.

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Speaker 1: Someone's put a cheeky zero next to it. Eighty that's me.

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Speaker 1: All indoor and outdoor gardens and lawns, plants, Sorry, it

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Speaker 1: must be watered, must be before you leave. Did you

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Speaker 1: water the plants after using washing machine? Turn off power

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Speaker 1: and hot and cold water tap? That's fair enough. No

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Speaker 1: children allowed to walk around with food or dirty hands.

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Speaker 2: Asuugh.

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Speaker 1: Everything you use must be cleaned, especially the stove, toilet, basin, showers.

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Speaker 1: No perishable foods to be left in the pantry or fridge.

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Speaker 1: And then it's just randomly that's rule six. But then

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Speaker 1: it's got have a nice day. And then it goes

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Speaker 1: on to rule seven. It's like, is it just like

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Speaker 1: a have like a little break in the middle.

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Speaker 2: The Dad's like, I won't, I won't do too many rules,

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Speaker 2: and then he's like, have a nice day he would have.

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Speaker 1: He's walked away.

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Speaker 2: I got another one, the outdoor barbecue.

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Speaker 1: It's froe of the writing. It's smaller and smaller. Tom. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: all windows and doors must be locked when you leave

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Speaker 1: the house. That's fair enough. All garbage must be taken

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Speaker 1: with you when you leave, fair enough. What about the

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Speaker 1: being outside? Do not add rules to the list.

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Speaker 2: This is my list, and one will touch it a tan.

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Speaker 1: All children must be taken with you when you leave.

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Speaker 1: It is unfair to leave them for others.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I wonder how many times one of the

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Speaker 2: cousins is rocked up and they've opened the door and

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Speaker 2: there's like three children sitting there, like, ah, God, damn,

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Speaker 2: I here again, I had.

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Speaker 1: To explain that whether were, it must be taken with

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Speaker 1: you when you leave. It's unfair to leave them for others.

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Speaker 1: Why would I leave my kids for others.

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Speaker 2: He's having a bit of bands here, do you reckon?

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Speaker 2: He's trying to like soften the strictness of the rules

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Speaker 2: by like I'll put in one little joke.

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Speaker 1: Now, this is the thing, and like I said, keeping

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Speaker 1: in mind, this is on the back of the toilet door,

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Speaker 1: so you shut the door there it is you're sitting

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Speaker 1: down doing your business.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to say that's a weird place to have

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Speaker 2: the rule.

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Speaker 1: I know, but then it had this is the last rule.

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Speaker 1: Do not read this notice while on the toilet. Concentrate

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Speaker 1: on what you're doing. I'm not making this up.

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Speaker 2: Who was this person, Let's find this rule writer.

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Speaker 1: It's fuck.

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Speaker 2: Are they? They was something that they could?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they were churchy. Not our friends, but the extended family.

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Speaker 1: So the grandmother used to live there before she died.

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Speaker 1: She was the sort of person that was like if

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Speaker 1: it's all these single beds because there was no sex

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Speaker 1: allowed in the house, like unless you were married or

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Speaker 1: at all. She's called them sex parties. No sex parties here.

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Speaker 2: Well, so then how did you in April sleep? What

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Speaker 2: was this set up there?

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Speaker 1: Well, we don't have sex anyway, so.

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Speaker 2: That is a lie.

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Speaker 1: We're we're in single beds.

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Speaker 2: You in April and single beds?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, there we were.

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Speaker 2: Did you not do you not try and like sneak

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Speaker 2: in together and have like a little cheeky one.

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Speaker 1: And I didn't want to. I didn't want to be

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Speaker 1: schmited by the Holy spirits?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she would have been watching down for sure.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was a it was

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Speaker 1: a really really fun trip. There's one thing that really

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Speaker 1: fucking angered me, and this is just me having.

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Speaker 2: A win other than the rules.

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Speaker 1: Rules I thought were funny because I just made a

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Speaker 1: joke about them the whole time. So you can't break

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Speaker 1: the rules. But we went down to like this cafe

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Speaker 1: and park, like a park and whatever, and we're just

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Speaker 1: having coffee and there was a couple there with two dogs,

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Speaker 1: and you know, my thought, dogs aren't kids. They kept

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Speaker 1: referring to their dogs. Come on, kids. They were like,

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Speaker 1: come on, kids, come here, kids, And I was like, wait,

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Speaker 1: this couple, couple, they've already got kids though they had

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Speaker 1: two dogs, and they were calling them kids.

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Speaker 2: Do they have them in prams? Or that's not as bad?

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Speaker 1: They went on leads, but they were going, come on, kids,

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Speaker 1: come on, and I was like, they're not fucking kids,

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Speaker 1: they're dogs. That shits me.

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Speaker 2: I'll let them have them money because we suffer every

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Speaker 2: day because of the kids.

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Speaker 1: And they essentially, what they're saying to me is that

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Speaker 1: this is as hard as it.

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Speaker 2: Is for you, or what they could be saying is

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Speaker 2: that they treat their pets with so much love and

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Speaker 2: affection and they value their company so much that they

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Speaker 2: could only ever refer to them not as a pet

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Speaker 2: but as a child.

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Speaker 1: I knew you wouldn't agree with me.

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Speaker 2: But disagreeing with you is one of the things that

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Speaker 2: I love to do in this world as.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, anyway, so that was that that really shited me.

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Speaker 2: Did you let them know?

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Speaker 1: I just did the shake of the head a little.

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Speaker 2: Eye roll, and then did you whisper to someone else?

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Speaker 2: They're not even they're not even better? And how dare they?

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Speaker 1: How dare they? Their kids have four leggs freaks. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: they're really airy.

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Speaker 2: Why that was funny, mate.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the trip I've been on a few trips with

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Speaker 1: other parents.

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Speaker 2: I know you have, mate, I know which there's a lot.

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Speaker 1: Of pros and a lot of content. I just I

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Speaker 1: don't have a list. I'm just going to rattle off

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Speaker 1: what I was thinking. Pros there's extra hands, right because

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Speaker 1: yet they've got kids. But then collectively it seems like

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Speaker 1: it's more easy to manage all these kids when you've

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Speaker 1: got more adults.

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Speaker 2: I would say it's sometimes it's easier to hide as well.

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Speaker 1: Well, I'm getting to that. Sorry, So there's more hands.

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Speaker 1: So I always do this, or I'm like, do you

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Speaker 1: mind watching my kids? Well you felt for that. That's

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Speaker 1: how good I am at it.

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Speaker 2: That tone was perfect, and I was like, just sick

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Speaker 2: and I'll just go to the pub.

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Speaker 1: Thirty minutes later, I come back and where.

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Speaker 2: Are driving off down the driveway?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so there's that. There's also another pro is that

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Speaker 1: you pick up other things that people do, like tricks

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Speaker 1: and tips and stuff.

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Speaker 2: Did you pick anything up?

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Speaker 1: No, I did, subconsciously. But then also cons okay, and

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Speaker 1: the biggest con is that they really when you're around

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Speaker 1: other parents that are really good at parenting, really exposes

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Speaker 1: your poor parenting. So one of the mums is there's

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Speaker 1: very diligent, very loving mum, very good at what she does.

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Speaker 1: I just followed her around.

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Speaker 2: Just copying her.

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Speaker 1: Just I was just like, what is she doing that

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Speaker 1: I'm not turns out a lot like she was like, Oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to make the kids some lunch. And I

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Speaker 1: was like, yeah, MASI you want to do? You want

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Speaker 1: a sandwich or whatever? And I was like yeah, because

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Speaker 1: she never eats the full sandwich or she just walks

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Speaker 1: around with it. And I was like, oh, I'll give

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Speaker 1: her a peanut butter sandwich, just one piece of bread

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Speaker 1: and I call it a foldover. So you followed it over? Bang?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, great.

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Speaker 1: Didn't even give her a plate, which I actually.

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Speaker 2: I will defend you here because I would say nine

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Speaker 2: and a percent of the time if I give anything

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Speaker 2: to Lola, she's not going to sit down, She's going

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Speaker 2: to go wandering with it. So a plate is just

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Speaker 2: something that's going to a need to be washed later on,

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Speaker 2: or be be broken.

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Speaker 1: Or find it somewhere else. Yeah, down the track. So

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Speaker 1: there was that, and then by the time here you go,

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Speaker 1: Macy turned around. She's bloody cut and crust off sandwiches

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Speaker 1: and double buttering bread and she's got peanut.

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Speaker 2: Butter veggie MYI. I love how you're like cheese. I

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Speaker 2: couldn't believe my eyes. She made a sandwich with two

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Speaker 2: bits of bread. You're They're like, holy shit, mind is

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Speaker 2: being blown. She's there like going to the toilet and

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Speaker 2: like doing a piss and a toilet and you're like,

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Speaker 2: what is this how the other half lives?

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Speaker 1: And I was like, I was like, oh, double buddy,

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Speaker 1: I'm pathetic. So I was sitting there at the kitchen

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Speaker 1: counter and like I was just like, oh, that tastes

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Speaker 1: like just like picking at this. She's made like a

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Speaker 1: full platter.

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Speaker 2: She's feeding the kids, and you're just like sitting down

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Speaker 2: at the table. Literally she fed me. I was like, Susan,

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Speaker 2: I've got to go to the bathroom. You couldn't could

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Speaker 2: want my ask for me could first.

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Speaker 1: Watch my kids when I go to the bathroom for

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Speaker 1: an hour. But then like she's doing the sandwiches and stuff,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, whoa diligence is that? What that looks like?

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Speaker 1: And I cuts into squares, also cut the crust off

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Speaker 1: before even buttering it unnecessary? What's that about?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I was like, you really, the crust is the structural

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Speaker 1: integrity of the bread. Little said anyway. So she does that,

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Speaker 1: and she goes to the fridge, opens the fridge, and

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Speaker 1: then I've got distracted come back and she's like cutting

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Speaker 1: up carrots and celery and I was like, what is this.

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Speaker 1: They're not going to eat that. White kids won't. They

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Speaker 1: just don't. But I was like, what do you call it?

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Speaker 2: She just like, it's just this, yeah.

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Speaker 1: As my grandmother calls it a snorger sport. I literally

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Speaker 1: just got a piece of bread, didn't even butter the thing.

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Speaker 1: I just slapped a bit of peanut butter on there,

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Speaker 1: folded it over and said there you go.

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Speaker 2: Question. Yeah, did you feel judged or inadequate in any way?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I don't think so Okay, I'm.

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Speaker 1: Talking about it, dreking.

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Speaker 2: They're driving home being like, did you see what Ash

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Speaker 2: was feeding his children?

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Speaker 1: Look, I'm there for the lulls, all right, there for

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00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:07,440
Speaker 1: the laugh, not my parenting skills. Just so diligent, and

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Speaker 1: I respect it, respect the player, respect the game. And

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Speaker 1: I was just like, well played.

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Speaker 2: Did you say anything to her partner and go You've

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Speaker 2: got a fucking outstanding partner here.

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Speaker 1: No, he already knows well you should.

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Speaker 2: It would just make him too arrogant if he was

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Speaker 2: to be reminded.

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Speaker 1: Reminded of the time that your wife can make a

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Speaker 1: sandwich with two pieces of bread.

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Speaker 2: Hey, what's April doing?

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Speaker 1: How does that work?

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Speaker 2: April? Let's not.

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Speaker 1: I don't know where she was.

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Speaker 2: Drunk? So April, I'm kidding.

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Speaker 1: I love you body boos hound isn't she isn't she?

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Speaker 2: Just isn't she? Bottle of tequila down by the beach.

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Speaker 1: One off to bed anyway. So yeah, good weekend except

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Speaker 1: for the dogs being called kids hate that, the rules

355
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Speaker 1: kind of funny, and the exposure of my poor parenting.

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Speaker 2: I do think being away, like there's very few scenarios

357
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:11,199
Speaker 2: other than the park. I guess where you get to

358
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:14,400
Speaker 2: have so many other people who you don't know had

359
00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:17,960
Speaker 2: their parenting on full display. And where we were staying

360
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:21,000
Speaker 2: was like a little place, little resort in.

361
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Speaker 1: It's just like a really little niche boutique resorts.

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00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:29,639
Speaker 2: No, how should I describe it. It had a pool,

363
00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:31,240
Speaker 2: it had villas made.

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Speaker 1: Just tell it what it is. It's a fucking five

365
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:36,360
Speaker 1: star resort. It's not, but you earned it.

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Speaker 2: It's not. It's four it's full star, four and a half.

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00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:40,240
Speaker 2: It's four. The minute it's like four and a half.

368
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,400
Speaker 2: I'm looking at that right now, shure and like there's

369
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Speaker 2: no need for that.

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Speaker 1: Well there is a need, but one you're talking.

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Speaker 2: One of the places where the parenting of others is

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Speaker 2: on display is the pool in a resort, because everyone

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Speaker 2: is there where we were staying like a four point six.

374
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,919
Speaker 1: What point six someone's left for a review being like

375
00:17:59,040 --> 00:17:59,760
Speaker 1: not knife and half.

376
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:05,080
Speaker 2: It was so by the pool. It's this big lagoon

377
00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:07,239
Speaker 2: pool and it is a great pool there. Everyone's got

378
00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:07,679
Speaker 2: I was.

379
00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:09,439
Speaker 1: Lucky enough to stay there once. I saved up for

380
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,440
Speaker 1: three years and then eventually got spent one night there.

381
00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:16,160
Speaker 2: You fucking you know the manager, you know like half

382
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,879
Speaker 2: the staff that worked there because you swindling free trips.

383
00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:22,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, baby, so anyway, very good at going things for free.

384
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,679
Speaker 2: Now, this story, Ash is quite tough for me to

385
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:31,440
Speaker 2: talk about. I just that's how I open up. Always

386
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:35,639
Speaker 2: makes it about himself. I'm gonna pimple in my nose. Okay,

387
00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:38,480
Speaker 2: do you want to take a second, carry on, I'll

388
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,040
Speaker 2: get through it. This story, Ash is quite hard for

389
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Speaker 2: me to talk about.

390
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,439
Speaker 1: Okay, serious, face on.

391
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,359
Speaker 2: I don't think I've ever felt so rejected by my

392
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:51,560
Speaker 2: child ever. I like to think of myself as someone

393
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:57,000
Speaker 2: who enjoys playing with my children. Like I get down on.

394
00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:59,080
Speaker 1: The level because you're like a child.

395
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:01,000
Speaker 2: I am like a child, That's what I am. I

396
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,840
Speaker 2: still look in the mirror and I see an eighteen

397
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,040
Speaker 2: year old. I don't see a thirty six year old.

398
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:06,760
Speaker 2: Does it like? It's not me? I don't feel like

399
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:11,040
Speaker 2: i've my children anyway. But there was another dad who

400
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:14,880
Speaker 2: we were friends for a brief period about fifteen years ago,

401
00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:18,400
Speaker 2: lovely guy at the resort, and he was there with

402
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:22,560
Speaker 2: his two children. By chance, Laura was getting a massage

403
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,800
Speaker 2: at this point. I was with the kids in the

404
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:28,000
Speaker 2: pool and I had a situation where all of a sudden,

405
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:30,639
Speaker 2: Lola wanted to go to the toilet, and I was like,

406
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:32,680
Speaker 2: just do it in the pool, but she wanted to

407
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:35,959
Speaker 2: get the toilet. So my friend was like, hey, it's fine,

408
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:38,639
Speaker 2: I'll look after. There's a little like a shallow area

409
00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:41,040
Speaker 2: if you will, where he was with his girls, and

410
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:42,840
Speaker 2: he's like, all right, I can look after Marley. It's

411
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:44,639
Speaker 2: just the toilets right around the corner. I'll be going

412
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:46,359
Speaker 2: a minute or two. And he's like, I'll look after her.

413
00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:48,439
Speaker 2: And I was like okay, great, So I took Lola.

414
00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:50,320
Speaker 2: I came back and.

415
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:54,480
Speaker 1: Don't trust the stranger man.

416
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:58,400
Speaker 2: And he had two children. One was very similar age

417
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:01,320
Speaker 2: to Marley. And as I was walking back to the pool,

418
00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:05,280
Speaker 2: even before I saw Marley, I just heard happy laughter

419
00:20:06,119 --> 00:20:08,880
Speaker 2: from Marley time of her life. And I thought to myself,

420
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:11,280
Speaker 2: isn't that great, Like it's so lovely that I can

421
00:20:11,359 --> 00:20:14,080
Speaker 2: just leave Marley with an old friend who I haven't

422
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,240
Speaker 2: seen in a long time, and she's having a great time.

423
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:18,359
Speaker 2: But then when I came back and I was like, hey, Marley,

424
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:22,080
Speaker 2: I'm back, she was like fuck, oh, I'm with him now.

425
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:23,959
Speaker 1: I found a new family.

426
00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:27,399
Speaker 2: And she was completely obsessed. He was playing these games

427
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:29,440
Speaker 2: where he would like pretend to turn around and fall

428
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:33,520
Speaker 2: over and and like my kid, Marley just he was

429
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:35,080
Speaker 2: I was thank you.

430
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:38,720
Speaker 1: I was out dadded wow wow.

431
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:41,280
Speaker 2: And it was to the point where I was cramp.

432
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:45,000
Speaker 2: I was cramping, like yeah, well because.

433
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:46,560
Speaker 1: I had to pretend like I was in trying to

434
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:50,480
Speaker 1: coax his kids over to you. I did.

435
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,000
Speaker 2: As I came towards one of his children, they were.

436
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:58,480
Speaker 1: Like and I was like predator, preator, predator, And you know.

437
00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:01,159
Speaker 2: In those moments were like you don't. I don't know.

438
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:04,760
Speaker 2: I just I was like I was crumbling under the pressure.

439
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:06,920
Speaker 2: And then all of a sudden, Lola was like, well

440
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:08,840
Speaker 2: that looks like a lot of fun. I want to

441
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:11,600
Speaker 2: hang out with this guy. And so now this guy

442
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,960
Speaker 2: and he was also then like trying to back off.

443
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,679
Speaker 2: He kind of knew that I was. He knew he

444
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:18,800
Speaker 2: was to overstep, so then he was like trying to downplay.

445
00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:20,320
Speaker 2: But then as he was down playing it and he

446
00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:22,480
Speaker 2: was playing hard to get with Marley, she wanted to

447
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:27,480
Speaker 2: play with them even more, and she's like hanging off him, and.

448
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:31,680
Speaker 1: I was just like, get inside, Marley, Yeah, just tell

449
00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:32,320
Speaker 1: her off for it.

450
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:39,440
Speaker 2: I was outdauded but long all day all day, so

451
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:42,240
Speaker 2: got a break, yeah yeah, yeah. I was like on

452
00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:45,119
Speaker 2: the day bed, just like just in tears.

453
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,440
Speaker 1: Watching your kids betray you.

454
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:53,119
Speaker 2: Having the time of their life with another dad. It's tough,

455
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:54,880
Speaker 2: isn't It Fucking hurts.

456
00:21:55,760 --> 00:22:02,080
Speaker 1: It does hurt, But at the same time, it's like, Okay, if.

457
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,199
Speaker 2: I could enjoy then, like my own time, because like

458
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:05,639
Speaker 2: if Laura was there, it would have been fine, because

459
00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:07,959
Speaker 2: I don't know, I just felt you felt left out.

460
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:11,280
Speaker 2: I just felt left out, mate, I just felt left that.

461
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:12,600
Speaker 1: Kid in the park that was like no one wanted

462
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:15,640
Speaker 1: to play. It's like there's always that kid that stinks

463
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:19,280
Speaker 1: you were it was I was the stinky kid.

464
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,160
Speaker 2: Another thing that I want to say, which is really

465
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:25,880
Speaker 2: annoying as a parent to a young toddler. Molly's quite

466
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:28,480
Speaker 2: good now. It's swimming. She can pretty much swim by herself.

467
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:33,280
Speaker 2: And Lola, she's ton half terrible swim I cannot swim.

468
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:34,159
Speaker 1: Sinker or a floater.

469
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:39,040
Speaker 2: Ah, look she she doesn't sink immediately, takes her a second.

470
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:40,120
Speaker 1: That headed flow surely.

471
00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:43,720
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, she like the legs will go down and

472
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 2: yeah yeah by the Titanic as it's like before like

473
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:50,680
Speaker 2: the last bit of air releases and she's down to

474
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:54,960
Speaker 2: the bottom. But she absolutely hates it when you like

475
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:56,240
Speaker 2: save her from drownings.

476
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:57,480
Speaker 1: What you meant by your story?

477
00:22:57,720 --> 00:22:59,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, And so like if we go to the water's air,

478
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:03,200
Speaker 2: she's so confident she'll just run and just jump in

479
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:05,159
Speaker 2: the water. And then after the second she'll sink to

480
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,880
Speaker 2: the bottom. You're like, well, I'll save her. I'll lift

481
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:09,320
Speaker 2: her back up. And then we get to the top

482
00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:13,600
Speaker 2: and she's like, what are you doing to get off me?

483
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,400
Speaker 1: I don't want to be saved. Dad, stop it.

484
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:18,159
Speaker 2: And I'm like all right, So then I've put it

485
00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:20,520
Speaker 2: back on the edge and she just keeps jumping back in.

486
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:23,560
Speaker 1: Make she did the same thing, but she she doesn't

487
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:27,000
Speaker 1: mind if you try and save a life. Hated it.

488
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:27,199
Speaker 2: Well.

489
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:29,760
Speaker 1: Oscar was like that until we went to balley just

490
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:31,399
Speaker 1: recently and I saw all the other kids that they

491
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,960
Speaker 1: were better at swimming, and then he's just like leaps

492
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:36,800
Speaker 1: and bounds ahead. Now, we were at my father in

493
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:39,120
Speaker 1: law's house and he's got a pool and he took

494
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:41,280
Speaker 1: his floaties off because he was in like the little spa,

495
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:43,560
Speaker 1: you know, a little spark the pool with it. Forgotten

496
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:45,080
Speaker 1: that he took him off and then went and jumped

497
00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:47,560
Speaker 1: in the big pool straight to the bottom.

498
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:48,760
Speaker 2: That's the problem with it.

499
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:51,120
Speaker 1: It was like straight in after him.

500
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,359
Speaker 2: Well because everyone's like, just put her in float but

501
00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:57,320
Speaker 2: then that builds her confidence even more. But was that

502
00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:59,280
Speaker 2: little thought my head where I was. I was kind

503
00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:03,080
Speaker 2: of going, don't I let her like panic for a second,

504
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 2: just to let her know that she does.

505
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,040
Speaker 1: Need a semi drowned just for a moment.

506
00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:09,480
Speaker 2: So I'm standing there watching my child like sink to

507
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:11,400
Speaker 2: the bottom, and another mom was like, I think you're

508
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:14,360
Speaker 2: think of doing kids dead, And I was like, she's fine.

509
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:15,840
Speaker 1: She doesn't want to be saved.

510
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:17,040
Speaker 2: She's fine.

511
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:19,160
Speaker 1: I'm doing a voice over for the lifeguards this week.

512
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:20,920
Speaker 1: She doesn't need to be saved. I know what I'm doing.

513
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,520
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, Laura comes back from a massage, sees Miley painting

514
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:25,800
Speaker 2: with another dad. I'm just watching my child sink to

515
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:28,840
Speaker 2: the bottom with a beer in hand. Hey, honey, how

516
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:29,440
Speaker 2: is your massage?

517
00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:33,560
Speaker 1: She's been holding her breath now for fifteen minutes. Pretty good.

518
00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:36,359
Speaker 1: She bobbed to the top once and went back down.

519
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:37,800
Speaker 2: Anyway, that was my trip.

520
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:40,680
Speaker 1: It looked like an ass trip. Think you got the weather.

521
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:49,320
Speaker 1: We dear in every repair, ordinary repair, we don't know

522
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:55,400
Speaker 1: what we do. We don't know what we're doing because repair.

523
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:03,239
Speaker 1: So this segment here, people are right in tell us

524
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:05,359
Speaker 1: their ordinary parenting stories.

525
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:09,080
Speaker 2: This segment, of course, is run by Budgie Smuggler, our

526
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:11,280
Speaker 2: good friends over there coming into summer. What a great

527
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:11,760
Speaker 2: time to.

528
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:13,920
Speaker 1: Budgies, What a great time to win some budgies.

529
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:15,679
Speaker 2: It was only dad and budgies at the pool by

530
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:18,960
Speaker 2: the way. Okay, ash this one it is from Big

531
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:22,880
Speaker 2: John O twenty seven twenty. It's from Nath.

532
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 1: Nath is a NA twenty servant.

533
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:28,119
Speaker 2: Nathan, I don't want to say his last name, but

534
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:31,199
Speaker 2: Big John nicknamed to O seven. Hey, guys, love the

535
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:35,639
Speaker 2: podcast and listen weekly. I have either an ordinary parent

536
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:39,720
Speaker 2: or Genie's parent. For you, guys, I mean the hand

537
00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:43,000
Speaker 2: in hand, not mine, but heard from another colleague, like

538
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:44,840
Speaker 2: how he's passing the buck on someone else?

539
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:49,920
Speaker 1: Should they win if yeah, Big John, share it, Big John.

540
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,280
Speaker 2: So they've been having trouble with their child, wedding the

541
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:54,960
Speaker 2: bed at night time, countless nights, getting up and having

542
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:57,760
Speaker 2: to strip the bed and make it again and move

543
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 2: their child into their own bed, and as an absolute

544
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:02,520
Speaker 2: ash at like two or three in the morning, this

545
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:05,959
Speaker 2: one no. So they decided to change it up and

546
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:08,560
Speaker 2: they now make the bed three or four times.

547
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:11,360
Speaker 1: We have had this one. No we haven't, Yes we have, No,

548
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:14,360
Speaker 1: we have, and you take the sheet off every time.

549
00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:16,320
Speaker 1: They weave themselves and they just get back into bed.

550
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:19,960
Speaker 2: From Big John. Is Big John sending it again to

551
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:20,560
Speaker 2: try and win?

552
00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:23,680
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think it won last time? Did it?

553
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:26,000
Speaker 2: Big John's coming back from another bite of the apple?

554
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 1: Two hundred dollars wasn't enough.

555
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:30,320
Speaker 2: I want more, he says. Here, I'll just go on

556
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:33,479
Speaker 2: and say they go like multiple layers of mattress protector.

557
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:36,080
Speaker 2: Did the last one to do that? They did? Fuck off? Yes?

558
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:36,760
Speaker 2: Did they?

559
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:38,080
Speaker 1: Why would I make that up?

560
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:39,399
Speaker 2: This came through yesterday?

561
00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:40,160
Speaker 1: What?

562
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:42,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, it came through yesterday from Big John.

563
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:47,000
Speaker 1: Well, big John plagiarizing mate. Yeah, he maybe didn't hear

564
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:49,280
Speaker 1: that we did that one. I don't know. He listens

565
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:50,639
Speaker 1: weekly unless he's lying.

566
00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:57,920
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, this is wow. I'm shooketh But with shooketh

567
00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:02,560
Speaker 2: you it just goes to show act that really we're

568
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:03,639
Speaker 2: all the same out there. We are.

569
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:07,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, nice charge John, Well, that's this is awkward.

570
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:10,959
Speaker 2: Now makes all my hard work they go to absolute waste.

571
00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:14,240
Speaker 1: Well, let me just okay, So this one's from Emma.

572
00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:16,119
Speaker 1: Look this is a bit long winded this one, but

573
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:19,160
Speaker 1: essentially she said, guys love the show. Thank you, Emma,

574
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:22,480
Speaker 1: we love you. She was complaining to her mum that

575
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:25,400
Speaker 1: her husband was taking her one and three year old

576
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:28,560
Speaker 1: out at around three pm, knowing the risk of them

577
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:31,480
Speaker 1: falling asleep at the worst possible time, potentially on the

578
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:34,119
Speaker 1: way home about five thirty pm. That is a fucking

579
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:37,320
Speaker 1: nut man unless they transition really nicely, which they never

580
00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 1: fucking never do. I always wake up just as you

581
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:42,080
Speaker 1: put them in their bed. They're like, I'm awake. You're

582
00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:45,080
Speaker 1: stuck with them on not, she replied to me, very

583
00:27:45,119 --> 00:27:48,240
Speaker 1: matter of factly, I would just spray you if you

584
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:49,520
Speaker 1: were falling asleep in the car.

585
00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:52,000
Speaker 2: So what, yeah, she said.

586
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:54,560
Speaker 1: I asked her what she meant, and she repeated, yeah, yeah,

587
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:57,760
Speaker 1: I just spray you with you know, cold water. And

588
00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:01,400
Speaker 1: she's like, what the fuck. So apparently her mum used

589
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:04,240
Speaker 1: to keep a spray bottle in the car for hot days,

590
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:09,600
Speaker 1: but it also doubles as a prevention too. That is

591
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:14,320
Speaker 1: evil evil. Yeah, that's great, So that's the winner this week.

592
00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:17,680
Speaker 2: I hang on, hang on, I actually it actually no,

593
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:19,199
Speaker 2: that is the winner because I can't. I don't want

594
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:22,359
Speaker 2: to win the award. But I have actually some ordinary

595
00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:24,680
Speaker 2: parenting for myself. Oh yeah, I wasn't.

596
00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:27,360
Speaker 1: Going to let me just finish for Emma. Emma, thank

597
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:30,119
Speaker 1: you for that. We appreciate that. I think you should

598
00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:33,280
Speaker 1: maybe take your mum's advice. Get a nice spray bottle,

599
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:35,160
Speaker 1: maybe a bit of lemon juice in the spice things

600
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:35,560
Speaker 1: up a bit.

601
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:41,920
Speaker 2: I've got a bit of ordinary parenting myself. I wasn't

602
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:44,400
Speaker 2: going to tell the story, but Laura's just messaged me.

603
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:46,120
Speaker 2: My phone just went off. You're like, what's that noise?

604
00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:48,880
Speaker 2: Laura just said that she's told the story on their podcast,

605
00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:52,000
Speaker 2: which means is out in the open and we'll talk

606
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:55,760
Speaker 2: about it. So, yes, I was having a beautiful cuddle

607
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 2: with Molly and just keep in mind, this is.

608
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:01,520
Speaker 1: Post until that other dad woked past. No, don't touch it.

609
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:05,160
Speaker 2: So I was cuddling with her and it was beautiful,

610
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:06,760
Speaker 2: it was lovely. I was having a moment with my

611
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:12,600
Speaker 2: daughter and she just goes and she fared as I

612
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:15,760
Speaker 2: was like cuddling into her face on her like tummy,

613
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 2: and I was, you know how I feel about farts

614
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:20,680
Speaker 2: and when you're putting up with the oars all day today,

615
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:23,640
Speaker 2: I was like, Marley stopped, and she thought it was hilarious,

616
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:26,120
Speaker 2: and I hate she does it quite a lot. She's

617
00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:29,160
Speaker 2: very gassy, just like a dad. And I was like,

618
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:32,240
Speaker 2: you cannot fart like that. It's really naughty, and she's

619
00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:35,840
Speaker 2: thinking it's hilarious. So I was like, do you know

620
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:40,600
Speaker 2: what I'll do to make her appreciate just how unenjoyable

621
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:43,520
Speaker 2: it is to smell someone else's fart or fart on her.

622
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:47,400
Speaker 2: So maybe like an hour and a half later, I

623
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:50,479
Speaker 2: felt one brewing and Marley was sitting down watching TV.

624
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:53,280
Speaker 2: So I went up to her. I farted on her

625
00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:55,680
Speaker 2: and on her head. No, not on a head.

626
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 1: I don't do it properly.

627
00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:58,600
Speaker 2: I don't want to give it. I don't want to

628
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:00,840
Speaker 2: give a pink guy. I just like on her back.

629
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:02,160
Speaker 2: She was like laying down watching TV.

630
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:04,400
Speaker 1: He just walked up to a copter squad and went

631
00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:06,160
Speaker 1: on her back.

632
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 2: Yes, that's fine. It would have been fine if it

633
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:14,960
Speaker 2: wasn't for Laura being like, oh my gosh, porch Ball,

634
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:18,720
Speaker 2: are you okay? She'll live and you know when you

635
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:20,320
Speaker 2: make a fuss over there, And then Mommy was like,

636
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:21,960
Speaker 2: that's right, I've been assaulted.

637
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:29,000
Speaker 1: I've been I think it's fair play. My dad used

638
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:30,360
Speaker 1: to fart on me all the time, as Jake.

639
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:32,120
Speaker 2: Look, so you turned out.

640
00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:35,880
Speaker 1: I'm fine, but I'm fine, But it would have been

641
00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:43,000
Speaker 1: worse if you followed through on the speaking of actually,

642
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:44,840
Speaker 1: let me just wrap up the Budgies smokeing thing before

643
00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 1: we talk about this really quick. So yes, thank you.

644
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:50,160
Speaker 1: Budget smugling For the ordinary parenting segment, We've still got

645
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:52,880
Speaker 1: a few more to go. If you've gotten any ordinary stories,

646
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 1: d mr or send us an email to d D

647
00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:58,120
Speaker 1: at outlook dot com. W that's t w O d

648
00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 1: D at outlook dot com dot you don't forget you, or.

649
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:03,880
Speaker 2: You can hit us up as well on social media

650
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:05,520
Speaker 2: at two Doting Dads.

651
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:09,040
Speaker 1: I said that already, did you useless? Anyway? Thank you?

652
00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:10,400
Speaker 1: I said it to start off with.

653
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:12,720
Speaker 2: No, Yeah, when you listen, I don't really when you talk,

654
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:13,840
Speaker 2: I don't.

655
00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:16,720
Speaker 1: When you listen, I don't really talk. So anyway, speaking

656
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:19,880
Speaker 1: of Marley farting and loving it, Oscar loves it too.

657
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 1: They're the same age. They're at that age where farting

658
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:22,400
Speaker 1: is really funny.

659
00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 2: It's hilarious.

660
00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:26,400
Speaker 1: But he's taken upon himself to like notify you when

661
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:28,720
Speaker 1: he's about to He's going to push, I'm going to

662
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:30,880
Speaker 1: push out of fart, you know, like it's so funny.

663
00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:32,880
Speaker 1: He's teaching makes you how to do it in the bath,

664
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:36,480
Speaker 1: which is a whole other story. But the other day

665
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:38,480
Speaker 1: he comes home from kindy, he's really excited to see

666
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:41,800
Speaker 1: me in the laundry, like just like sort of feeling

667
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:43,240
Speaker 1: around in front of like in front of the TV,

668
00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:45,400
Speaker 1: and he goes to me, Dad, I got a fart.

669
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:49,080
Speaker 2: I was like, go on, spread your wings, my child.

670
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:54,400
Speaker 1: That's this better be good. And he was like pushed

671
00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:58,000
Speaker 1: and then his face went from like to just shot.

672
00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:04,640
Speaker 1: He shat himself. But the funny thing is he's shouted,

673
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:09,160
Speaker 1: but it was like he'd been shot, or like he'd

674
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:11,800
Speaker 1: been frozen stiff or something like. He just went.

675
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:12,920
Speaker 2: Taser just went.

676
00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:19,040
Speaker 1: And he was like like full freak out. Anyway, So

677
00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:21,160
Speaker 1: I've picked him up and I've carried him up the stairs,

678
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:24,560
Speaker 1: but he still hasn't moved positions. So he's like, you know,

679
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:28,880
Speaker 1: there's army man. It was like talking up to the

680
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:31,880
Speaker 1: bathroom and I was like, you push little too hard.

681
00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:33,840
Speaker 1: He was like, just cross.

682
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:35,600
Speaker 2: It is scary how much he is.

683
00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:39,840
Speaker 1: Just like, I pull his pants down. He's got like

684
00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:46,320
Speaker 1: a fucking perfect nugget. The PSI on that rocketed out

685
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:48,200
Speaker 1: of his heart into the bottom of his underpants, got

686
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:50,480
Speaker 1: a hole in his underpan. It was fun It was funny.

687
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:51,200
Speaker 2: That's my boy.

688
00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:53,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, but he's been teaching. Macey had a fart in

689
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:53,640
Speaker 1: the bath.

690
00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:57,800
Speaker 2: It's gotta make you proud. Yeah, he led some let's

691
00:32:57,840 --> 00:33:00,640
Speaker 2: do some listening questions. I've got a question for you, Okay.

692
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:05,080
Speaker 2: I don't know if you're the right person to ask, okay,

693
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:08,040
Speaker 2: but I'm going to try my luck anyway. Shoot, Okay,

694
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:10,080
Speaker 2: I won't say the name because this I don't want

695
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 2: this person to seem like they're being negative openly. Maybe

696
00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:16,680
Speaker 2: they wanted to be anonymous, but they ask, are there

697
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:19,600
Speaker 2: any good parts of parenting? At the moment, it's just

698
00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:24,840
Speaker 2: all bloody hard work. Ash, give us some good news.

699
00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:26,560
Speaker 1: I've got some really good news for you.

700
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 2: What was the question again, talking about how hard parents?

701
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:34,640
Speaker 1: It's hard? Look, it's hard. You can never be prepared,

702
00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:38,800
Speaker 1: and you think it's like it's all getting good, and

703
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:41,880
Speaker 1: then a new issue arises. It's just constant. And then

704
00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 1: when you ask people with older kids as well, they're like,

705
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:46,760
Speaker 1: there's always another warrior just around the corner.

706
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:50,360
Speaker 2: But also small kids, small problems, big kids, big problems.

707
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:53,720
Speaker 1: But I'd also say, look, you know, I'm usually it's

708
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:56,200
Speaker 1: all fun and jokes, okay. I would usually just say

709
00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:00,360
Speaker 1: find the little moments to keep you going.

710
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:02,720
Speaker 2: What are those little moments for you? Ash?

711
00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 1: When they try and push out a fart and.

712
00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:10,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree, it's hard.

713
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:12,520
Speaker 1: It's hard, but then there's those little moments where they

714
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:16,960
Speaker 1: give something back and you're like, yeah, okay, that's pretty funny.

715
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:20,359
Speaker 2: One of my mates is about two weeks now away

716
00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:24,279
Speaker 2: from having his first child, and it's so funny. It's

717
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:28,680
Speaker 2: like witnessing someone walk to the front of the start

718
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:32,839
Speaker 2: line of a marathon. But on that marathon, you will

719
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:36,440
Speaker 2: lose your shoes, you will get sunburnt, you will get

720
00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:40,640
Speaker 2: attacked by wild dogs, you'll get shot on, be starving,

721
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:43,920
Speaker 2: you'll be exhausted. Like it's like the hardest marathon you'll

722
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:46,439
Speaker 2: ever run in your entire life. That only gets harder

723
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:49,360
Speaker 2: and harder and harder. And watching him go to the

724
00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:55,480
Speaker 2: start of that line, I'm like, you have no idea

725
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:57,160
Speaker 2: what you were in for. No one does.

726
00:34:57,320 --> 00:34:59,520
Speaker 1: Like I said, you can never be you can never

727
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:01,000
Speaker 1: be be prepared never.

728
00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:01,480
Speaker 2: Yeah.

729
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 1: Look, yeah, it's hard. Like I said, it's hard to

730
00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:05,319
Speaker 1: find the little moments where you can.

731
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:09,360
Speaker 2: But the moment for me is at the moment. Lola's

732
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:10,359
Speaker 2: been a hard one to crack.

733
00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:10,520
Speaker 1: You know.

734
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:13,480
Speaker 2: I've spoken about the fact that we didn't bond straight

735
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:15,800
Speaker 2: away like I did with Marley, But at the moment

736
00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:19,560
Speaker 2: we have got this little thing where whenever I put

737
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 2: her down to bed, even if Laura puts her down,

738
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:24,880
Speaker 2: and Laura's one hundred percent of her preferred parent for Lola,

739
00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:28,280
Speaker 2: she'll say, I just want to kiss and a cuddle always,

740
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:30,040
Speaker 2: and she won't go to sleep unless I give it

741
00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:32,080
Speaker 2: one as well. She wants it from Laura and from me,

742
00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:34,799
Speaker 2: and we give a kiss cuddle and then now she's

743
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,279
Speaker 2: gonna like kiss and a cuddle and like that is

744
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:40,239
Speaker 2: my like final farewell before she goes to bed. It's

745
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:42,800
Speaker 2: just it sounds like it's nothing. I guess if anyone's

746
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:44,840
Speaker 2: listening without having kids themselves, it might be like.

747
00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:45,640
Speaker 1: You don't understand.

748
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 2: You would never You've never felt love to those parents

749
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:54,799
Speaker 2: out there with dogs. You have no idea, But those

750
00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:56,880
Speaker 2: are the little things that you're just like, oh my gosh,

751
00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:59,680
Speaker 2: like just getting that little bit of affection from your kids.

752
00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:03,240
Speaker 2: It's just insane how much of a difference that makes.

753
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:04,839
Speaker 1: Sort of it makes you forget what they did, all

754
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:05,399
Speaker 1: the shit things.

755
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:08,840
Speaker 2: Oh totally. It's like I'm sure there's been Our brains

756
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:13,360
Speaker 2: are wired to think like that because otherwise, like it's relentless, it's.

757
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:17,200
Speaker 1: Oh, it's relentless, hectic. Yeah, I've aged so much in

758
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:23,080
Speaker 1: the last four years. That's just partly my fault. Th Matt.

759
00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:26,279
Speaker 1: Question for you personally, I haven't had to deal with

760
00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:28,399
Speaker 1: a lot, so maybe you can answer the question how

761
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:31,480
Speaker 1: do you deal with judging parents?

762
00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:34,320
Speaker 2: So like other parents, I don't have to deal with

763
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:37,480
Speaker 2: it that much. I think guys are pretty lucky in

764
00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:39,520
Speaker 2: that we just get on with it. The bar is

765
00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:41,960
Speaker 2: so low, like the first generation of dads who are

766
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:45,600
Speaker 2: actually doing anything. Yeah, So like the fact that we're

767
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:48,080
Speaker 2: just like in the room means that people are like,

768
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:49,240
Speaker 2: good job, well.

769
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:52,400
Speaker 1: Done, Oh my god, that dad's what he's not absent.

770
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:56,160
Speaker 2: You take the kids to the shopping center for groceries

771
00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:57,200
Speaker 2: and like a boomer.

772
00:36:56,920 --> 00:36:59,200
Speaker 1: Mum is like, oh my god, it's such a good dad.

773
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:02,560
Speaker 2: Wow, just loan away. But I think the only bit

774
00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:04,160
Speaker 2: of judging that I got the other day was I

775
00:37:04,239 --> 00:37:07,240
Speaker 2: did that video about when your totaler becomes more affectionate

776
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:09,080
Speaker 2: as they're about to be hit with a virus.

777
00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:12,640
Speaker 1: And Lola's you're going to say, after you hit with

778
00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:16,160
Speaker 1: the car, just a virus, you're about to be fa.

779
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:20,680
Speaker 2: And Lola's got a dummy because she's doing half loves

780
00:37:20,719 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 2: a dummy. Still, it kind of got a little bit viral,

781
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:26,400
Speaker 2: that video, and it got picked up by an American.

782
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:27,360
Speaker 1: Audience anti dummy.

783
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:30,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, I got viewed five million times.

784
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:36,120
Speaker 1: And I do you want to just repeat that? I

785
00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:37,799
Speaker 1: remember when I had my first viral video.

786
00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:44,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, fair. As soon as I left my mouth, I

787
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:48,400
Speaker 2: was like, fuck damn. It shouldn't have said that. But

788
00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:51,160
Speaker 2: a few mums were like, you're like doing it, like

789
00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:54,720
Speaker 2: you're doing it wrong on repparable damage to your child's

790
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:56,000
Speaker 2: mouth structure and teeth.

791
00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:56,560
Speaker 1: And I know that.

792
00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:59,600
Speaker 2: I think it's like past four or five or something

793
00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:02,760
Speaker 2: that stuff to like change the shape of the teeth.

794
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:05,480
Speaker 2: But I was like, for a moment, I was like,

795
00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:08,000
Speaker 2: maybe I should like stop the dummy and like but

796
00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:09,840
Speaker 2: then I'm like, who the fuck are these people? And

797
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:11,960
Speaker 2: why do I care what they say? You just got

798
00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:15,120
Speaker 2: to be water, Which is easy for me to say.

799
00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:16,719
Speaker 2: I know that, Like, there's a lot of people out

800
00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:18,600
Speaker 2: there who are full time stay at home parents. It

801
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:21,480
Speaker 2: must be a lot harder when your worker is being

802
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:23,839
Speaker 2: judged and your work is the most important in the world.

803
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:25,400
Speaker 1: It's like working your ass off at a job and

804
00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:27,960
Speaker 1: then someone just coming in and going you're shit at it.

805
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 2: But my only advice is if you are someone who

806
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:37,960
Speaker 2: may judge, if the child is happy, it's healthy, Like

807
00:38:38,080 --> 00:38:42,359
Speaker 2: it doesn't matter, ah, Like if you know people can

808
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:44,920
Speaker 2: do things differently. Some people will do sandwiches with two

809
00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:47,520
Speaker 2: pieces of bread, some will only do one without butter

810
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:48,480
Speaker 2: with a crust on.

811
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:52,400
Speaker 1: I feel if the child, I feel you're judging my parents.

812
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:56,600
Speaker 2: Don't be a judger, for God's sake. And if you

813
00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:58,520
Speaker 2: if you want to say something on social media, like

814
00:38:58,800 --> 00:39:02,000
Speaker 2: just don't unless you know the person, take.

815
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:04,080
Speaker 1: A deep breath before you throw your two cents in

816
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:09,720
Speaker 1: fucking Doris or Maureen is like it's just not needed,

817
00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:12,480
Speaker 1: especially like the end of the day. Like sometimes when

818
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:15,400
Speaker 1: like say you've had a bad day like April for example,

819
00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:17,120
Speaker 1: if she's had the kids all day and I've been

820
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:20,000
Speaker 1: off doing some work or been here this is work,

821
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:22,960
Speaker 1: but you know, doing whatever, and then I get home

822
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,719
Speaker 1: and she's fucking cooked, and it's like me walking in

823
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:28,759
Speaker 1: a saying while the socks dirty, It's like, are you

824
00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:32,600
Speaker 1: fucking serious? Just keep it to your fucking.

825
00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:35,560
Speaker 2: Self absolutely and ash on that note, we need to

826
00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:38,759
Speaker 2: start rehearsing for the awards. Sorry to remind you of

827
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:39,839
Speaker 2: what's still to come.

828
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:41,680
Speaker 1: I feel like this is some sort of torture.

829
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:44,520
Speaker 2: If you enjoy this episode, we would love it if

830
00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:46,640
Speaker 2: you gave it a share to anyone else out there

831
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:49,800
Speaker 2: who may benefit from having two idiots talk about parenting.

832
00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:51,719
Speaker 2: And we would also love it if you'll give us

833
00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:54,680
Speaker 2: a review on Spotify. We actually had some really lovely

834
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:57,560
Speaker 2: comments on the episode where you talked about your mental health.

835
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:00,279
Speaker 2: We had so many great messages and we have we

836
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:03,880
Speaker 2: love to receive them. Here. He is Ashwicks. Everybody, what

837
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,759
Speaker 2: a charming young man. Anything else you want to add

838
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:10,280
Speaker 2: before we go? Aside from farting no, I'm all good. Okay,

839
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:19,680
Speaker 2: we'll see you guys now for having me. But Two

840
00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:23,480
Speaker 2: Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout

841
00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:26,840
Speaker 2: Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.

842
00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:29,600
Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present

843
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:32,760
Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander

844
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:36,399
Speaker 1: people's today. This episode was recorded on Gadagle Land