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Speaker 1: What do you got for me?

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Speaker 2: You didn't want to mention anything about Yeah, what's it?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. You're a bit on edge because it's

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Speaker 1: not happening, and I'm like, I don't want to get

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Speaker 1: it wrong. Doesn't because you'll come at me like a diva.

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Speaker 2: You know I I tried to look my best in

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Speaker 2: front of you.

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Speaker 1: I know that what do I get?

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Speaker 2: I get fucking nothing. You didn't get get nothing. Why

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Speaker 2: do I bother?

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Speaker 1: Because I didn't want to be like, oh, a new

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Speaker 1: haircut and you take it the wrong way. You've done

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Speaker 1: that before and I do have to dig out some

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Speaker 1: sort of memory to be like, you get a haircut,

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Speaker 1: you it was wrong with it.

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Speaker 2: That is a complete lie. You're lying right now. Don't

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Speaker 2: lie to me, don't lie to the listener. Welcome back

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Speaker 2: and do that in Dad's My name is Mady J.

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Speaker 2: I'm ash the podcast all about parenting. It is the good,

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Speaker 2: it is.

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Speaker 1: The bad and the relatable. You've got a hair out

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Speaker 1: of place.

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Speaker 2: Oh, for God's sake.

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Speaker 1: See, So, as I mentioned it.

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Speaker 2: There is a difference between saying that's a nice haircut and.

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Speaker 1: You because you're vigorous. I'm just helping you. So that

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Speaker 1: for the camera.

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Speaker 2: So you look happily, happily attack the hair.

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Speaker 1: I'm not attacking it, So that's what I mean. You

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Speaker 1: misunderstand me trying to be helpful with being attacked. It

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Speaker 1: looks good, So why did you see?

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Speaker 2: You've set me off? Now?

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Speaker 1: Okay, give me a look at the back, very very

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Speaker 1: high and tired, as they say.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, housekeeping you look, what do you got?

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Speaker 1: Beautiful message from two of our listeners, Kiara and Tom,

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Speaker 1: who are driving around Australia with their baby daughter Millie

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Speaker 1: love Milly for a little little girl's name than little girl.

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Speaker 1: Thank you. You're just taking credit for it. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: I like it. We've just we've just over five months

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Speaker 1: into our lap around Australia, nearly twenty four thousand kilometers down.

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Speaker 1: My god, what's that?

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Speaker 2: What's like what's sitting in Melbourne?

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Speaker 1: It'd be like nine hundred kilometers mate, twenty four thousand.

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Speaker 1: Let's run up to one thousand for that one. So

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Speaker 1: it's like going back and forth twelve times.

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Speaker 2: Wow, stricken, that is that like a round Australia twice?

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Speaker 2: What are they doing? They lapping Australia. We're in a

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Speaker 2: fourth lap of Australia.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but they would be it would be like the

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Speaker 1: scenic route right.

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Speaker 2: Well, if you're going around Australia, I think the only

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Speaker 2: one way to go.

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Speaker 1: I wonder if they've run into my friends Josh and

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Speaker 1: Ciang because they're going around Australia as well. Do you

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Speaker 1: do it clockwise? Do you do an anti clockwise?

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Speaker 2: I think it's clockwise. I do think you have to

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Speaker 2: have to care those you'll hit people together. Other way, true,

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Speaker 2: you'll be on the wrong side of the road.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. Finally, caught up on

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Speaker 1: all episodes, all one hundred and eighty two episodes.

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Speaker 2: I think we used to sound pretty shit back in

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Speaker 2: the day. Is there Can people notice the difference we

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Speaker 2: get better or we'll be like the same the whole

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Speaker 2: way through.

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Speaker 1: I think we've got more confused with where we're at

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Speaker 1: an episode.

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Speaker 2: When we first started, we were so like the relationship was.

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Speaker 1: So new good. I mean, anyway, let me finish this

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Speaker 1: then we can talk about that. We've been absolutely addicted

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Speaker 1: during every nap time drive doing it with our eleven

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Speaker 1: month old. She was only six months when we started.

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Speaker 1: Your chats have kept us laughing and feeling less alone

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Speaker 1: out in the middle of nowhere, away from our friends

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Speaker 1: and family. We just really felt the need to say

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Speaker 1: thanks for keeping us company on the road. You are welcome. Wow,

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Speaker 1: that's lovely.

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Speaker 2: That is also that better be in the Apple podcast reviews.

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Speaker 1: Just copy paste bomar, but a lovely touch. Very It's

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Speaker 1: nice to get a message all that. It feels good.

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Speaker 2: Ash. You know, we love a gender reveal. I do

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Speaker 2: absolutely love it. It's my biggest regret in life is

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Speaker 2: not doing like more of a gender reveal type activity. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I feel like there can be some nice, little simple ones.

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Speaker 2: And then there's yeah, like you know, the fireworks, like

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Speaker 2: I want planes, you know, as they like spray the crops,

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Speaker 2: but it's spraying blue and everyone that's it's anyway.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I want I want something similar. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: But there is a gender reveal that I've seen online, okay,

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Speaker 2: and it's it's just it's beautiful.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 2: If I can just show you for one second.

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Speaker 1: I would love to see it.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to show you the image of the gender

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Speaker 2: reveal and I want you to see if you can

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Speaker 2: pick what's a little bit unique about this one?

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Speaker 1: Great use of words and you spot the problem? Well,

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Speaker 1: I don't.

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Speaker 2: Is it a problem. I don't know, but maybe it's not.

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Speaker 1: It's two women and a Man's three.

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Speaker 2: People in the photo, and they've done the it's a

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Speaker 2: very traditional gender.

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Speaker 1: Revealere they've got the confetti, the nice touch.

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Speaker 2: Yeah nice.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Well, look what I'm seeing is that there's two

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Speaker 1: people that are pregnant. So it's a throttle.

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Speaker 2: Yes, you're right, it is a throupple. But the throttle

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Speaker 2: is between a mother, a daughter, and a man who

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Speaker 2: is not the dad. This man has come into the

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Speaker 2: to the relationship at a later date and he has

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Speaker 2: managed to get the mom and the daughter pregnant.

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Speaker 1: Okay, how does that even come about?

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Speaker 2: And they look happy, they look very happy.

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Speaker 1: Are we just as a human race at the point

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Speaker 1: now where we're like a fuck it? Because twenty years

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Speaker 1: ago that'd be on Jerry spring Jerry Springer.

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Speaker 2: Shit, I think yeah, it would be. I think maybe

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Speaker 2: now maybe where the problem for seeing that as being

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Speaker 2: something that.

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Speaker 1: Is not right to taboo? With that?

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Speaker 2: You'd say, yeah, I mean, also, is that is it real?

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Speaker 2: Because mom quite old, Mom looks she's quite to be

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Speaker 2: able to have a baby at that age, not to

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: She was quite you look quite young. But like Mike,

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Speaker 1: the confusing part about that.

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Speaker 2: Is, so wait, what does it make What does the

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Speaker 2: mom's baby the daughter? But what the relation of the

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Speaker 2: two babies?

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Speaker 1: And then how do you have that conversation when they

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Speaker 1: when they when they're grown up.

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Speaker 2: Because your brother or sister is then your auntie.

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Speaker 1: Are they setting these kids up for trauma?

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Speaker 2: I mean, when you're thinking about naming a child and

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Speaker 2: you're like, oh, don't want to call it like you know, Rachel, Rachel,

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Speaker 2: you know, like what were I couldn't think of anything

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Speaker 2: that when you're like, I don't want to give them

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Speaker 2: anything that puts a target on their back, whereas these

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Speaker 2: two have like gotten the target, enlarged it, tattooed it

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Speaker 2: on the back and be like there you go.

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Speaker 1: Good luck and put it on social media good luck

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Speaker 1: and fucking eyes school. Oh my god. It's a mess,

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Speaker 1: isn't it. And that's the thing.

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Speaker 2: It's not a mess. It's beautiful.

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Speaker 1: Ash, it's beautiful to them to ship it can be

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Speaker 1: messy though, I'm.

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Speaker 2: Just pregnancy with your mother, beautiful thing. And who are

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Speaker 2: we to judge if they're consenting adults?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. I'm confused of what they are

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Speaker 1: going to be to each other. It's beautiful, Okay, it's

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Speaker 1: I think it's a bit weird. I'm just gonna I'm

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Speaker 1: just gonna say it.

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Speaker 2: Are we endorsing? This wouldn't get that far.

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Speaker 1: No, I wouldn't say it.

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Speaker 2: As long as they're happy, they're not hurting anyone. It's like,

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Speaker 2: we're happy.

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Speaker 1: Me knocking up April and then just be like you're

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Speaker 1: next to her mom, like.

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Speaker 2: You have talked quite highly of her mother. She's a

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Speaker 2: beautiful woman.

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Speaker 1: I know she's interested. You're thinking definitely not that look.

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Speaker 1: It's a bit weird for me. It's all a bit

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Speaker 1: weird for me. I think I'm not an overly traditional

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Speaker 1: guy that seems a little bit obscure.

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Speaker 2: Didn't pick you as being such a prude ash.

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Speaker 1: I'm not open minded.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes I'm surprised you haven't asked any questions. But Marley

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Speaker 2: finally had her end of year dance recital.

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Speaker 1: The dance recital that stopped the nation.

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Speaker 2: You know, you don't ask about my haircut. You don't

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Speaker 2: ask at the dance recitals. You talk about the relationship

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Speaker 2: being good back in the day. All I'm saying is

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Speaker 2: that you're not putting in much effort.

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Speaker 1: Ah, okay, I noted, Just how did she go?

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Speaker 2: Very good?

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Speaker 1: Okay, give me a rundown of the day.

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Speaker 2: I was it was a very stressful morning, very stressful

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Speaker 2: morning because we had to get to the hall that

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Speaker 2: the halls I got RSL. It was a morning event,

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Speaker 2: morning event, so we had to get there for nine

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Speaker 2: point fifteen. What was the weather, Like, it's beautiful weather. Okay, good,

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Speaker 2: great weather. But it's just as things do in the

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Speaker 2: mornings when you're dealing with three kids and one of

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Speaker 2: them is a newborn, everything moves a bit slower. Also, Marley,

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Speaker 2: I now know I'm putting it down to nerves. But

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Speaker 2: Marley was like I don't want to do it. She's like,

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Speaker 2: I don't even like dance. And I was like, that's

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Speaker 2: really weird. You do like dance and she's like, no,

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Speaker 2: I hate it. I don't want to do this. I

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Speaker 2: can now realize that it was just she was really nervous.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, as I ask her, like he'll be like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I've got to saw a tummy, I was like, they

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Speaker 1: are they nervous? Mate, and like, yeah, they forget that

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Speaker 1: they got But I also think she's such a confident

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Speaker 1: kid that I'm like, oh, she'll do anything.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. But it was at this RSL. When the RSL

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Speaker 2: is a theater, it's about five or six hundred people.

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Speaker 2: I've heard, Wow, I heard. The theater is the home

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Speaker 2: of the Australian Magic Mic. It's a very well known venue.

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Speaker 2: Seems inappropriate also the home to the Tiny Tots dance

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Speaker 2: recital twenty twenty five.

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Speaker 1: The polls in here, Yeah, don't touch anything like this.

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Speaker 1: One's slippery, sticky. What's all this glitter?

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Speaker 2: But I always thought leading up to the concert, I

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Speaker 2: was like, why the fuck are we doing it at

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Speaker 2: a big old venue. We can just do it at

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Speaker 2: the school hall, or we can just do it in

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Speaker 2: the room, just put the parents down one side to

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Speaker 2: watch the concert. And I was like, that's enough. We're

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Speaker 2: talking about three five and six year olds. We're over

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Speaker 2: complicating this.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, totally.

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Speaker 2: And there was also there was costumes. There was very

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Speaker 2: particular instructions on how to come arrive with your had

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Speaker 2: to have a high ponytail, had to have.

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Speaker 1: Are you sure you said to me that this jiu

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Speaker 1: jitsu thing is like a cult? Are you sure this

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Speaker 1: is on a cult? Is you've got rules.

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Speaker 2: Dance is a cult. I think it is, and I'm

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Speaker 2: into it. But I we got there. We were a

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Speaker 2: little bit late, a little bit late, like, you know,

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Speaker 2: couldn't big surprise.

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Speaker 1: Oh man, there's a theme here.

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Speaker 2: Couldn't get a park, couldn't get a park. And then

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Speaker 2: I was like, Laura, I'm going to leave you with

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Speaker 2: Lola and the newborn. I'm going to run Marley in

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Speaker 2: because we're running late. And Laura's like, well, what an

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Speaker 2: I runner? And I was like, because you don't know

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Speaker 2: the RSL. It's a big venue. You'll get lost. So

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Speaker 2: we're having the argument the car as like another parent

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Speaker 2: walked past. We're like, oh, hey, Susan, don't mind us just.

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Speaker 1: Follow Susan, just follow Susan in.

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Speaker 2: But we got there. And also I didn't realize parents

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Speaker 2: have brought bouquets of flowers.

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Speaker 1: Is it a wedding? What is going on?

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Speaker 2: They were People were like, oh you didn't where's your

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Speaker 2: bouquet flowers?

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Speaker 1: Just to throw on the stage afterwards?

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Speaker 2: Did present not to throw take this?

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Speaker 1: Throw Perry underpants on there like they did be Tom

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Speaker 1: Jones back in the day.

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Speaker 2: So we didn't do that. And then Laura was like,

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Speaker 2: go get a bouquet of flowers, and I'm like, where

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Speaker 2: am I going to get a bouquet of flowers from

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Speaker 2: one anzac parade and Sydney there was no Willers. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: so I didn't have the bouquet, but Marley was. She

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Speaker 2: was pretty nervous, pretty nervous, and I did before Molly

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Speaker 2: went on stage. And by the way, we're out of

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Speaker 2: housekeeping now. I yelled at the MC.

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Speaker 1: I heckled the MC, and then we're back in housekeeping.

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Speaker 2: I heckled the MC because he was a good MC.

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Speaker 2: I'll give him that. He said, you know, everyone makes

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Speaker 2: some noise. We're here for the damp recital, and he goes,

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Speaker 2: I just want to give a special shout out to

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Speaker 2: the mums who have been up this morning stressing out

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Speaker 2: over the high ponytail, and I said.

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Speaker 1: What about the dods smart?

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Speaker 2: And people were like, show the fuck up.

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Speaker 1: Everyone was like, relaxed, bro, get him out of here.

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Speaker 1: No flowers. Heckling the MC. That's enough, mate, you're out.

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Speaker 2: But it was was twenty two performances in total that

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Speaker 2: we had to sit through.

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Speaker 1: Wait, whoa wha, wha wha, whoa whoa whoa twenty two performances.

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Speaker 2: Because you had acro, you had the conga, you had like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: how many one the second last one?

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Speaker 1: Oh, I know, it's torture, I know.

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Speaker 2: And some of them were quite cute. There was somewhere

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Speaker 2: the kids three year olds. The curtain opens and they're

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Speaker 2: all just like.

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Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, they're the ones I want to watch because

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Speaker 1: it's like there's chaos.

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Speaker 2: And the dance teacher came out at one point to

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Speaker 2: the three year olds and was like trying to like

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Speaker 2: trying to get them to like they were on a

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Speaker 2: straight line, and they kept like like ants, like scattering,

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Speaker 2: and the dance teachers are coming on trying to put

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Speaker 2: them back on their straight line. And they're like, oh, like.

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Speaker 1: That's that entertaining. It was good, that's good. Yet I

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Speaker 1: think like at that age, it's it's so funny, like

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Speaker 1: them just bumbling through it and like these kids are

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Speaker 1: like yeah, and then it's like like get on stage

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Speaker 1: and look confused.

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Speaker 2: And then half of them would walk off stage. It

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Speaker 2: was the set of stairs at the front. Half they

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Speaker 2: would kind of like kids, it was chaos.

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Speaker 1: Just spot your parents, just like oh the mom. When

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Speaker 1: Oscar was doing the schools Emily. All he did was

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Speaker 1: stare at the seat that he was sitting in, and

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Speaker 1: I could tell what was going through his brain was

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Speaker 1: like I can't wait to sit back in you. But

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Speaker 1: were there any like really like good three year olds

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Speaker 1: or they all just like one one?

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Speaker 2: There was a couple you'd like see one little standout

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Speaker 2: and you'd go, oh gosh, she's like that girl's quite good,

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Speaker 2: you know. To be fair, the three year olds any

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Speaker 2: bit of movement, basically a lot of them just stood

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Speaker 2: there still.

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Speaker 1: I like it scared, petrified. I would want to watch

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Speaker 1: those as.

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Speaker 2: All the parents are there going the audience like, it's

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Speaker 2: a lot. You're on stage in front of like five

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Speaker 2: hundred parents and they're all like wooing and cheering. It's

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Speaker 2: a lot. But Marlin was great. Performance was really good.

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Speaker 1: Do you remember what like song or yeah I.

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Speaker 2: Can I can puy the oh yeah please?

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah yeah?

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Speaker 2: A great song.

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Speaker 1: That is a good song.

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Speaker 2: Great song. And the hair. The hair, I was very,

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Speaker 2: very worried about the hair. He's about half a tin

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Speaker 2: of hairsprays because the hard thing was with the hair

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Speaker 2: rush trying to get the fringe. She's got a fringe

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Speaker 2: to get the fringe back. I said, you want the

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Speaker 2: fringe out, fringe in, the fringe up, and so to

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Speaker 2: get the fringe. Luckily it's the high ponytail, so I

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Speaker 2: could get the fringe in with the rest of the hair.

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Speaker 2: And I was like brushing so hard. It was like,

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Speaker 2: I'm not good with the hair.

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Speaker 1: I'm really not.

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Speaker 2: It's like a it's a it's like a painting.

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Speaker 1: But when I do the hair and go out in

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Speaker 1: public and someone's like, oh, it's really bad because it's terrible.

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Speaker 1: They're like, oh, see dad's on the hair. I always sorry.

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Speaker 1: I blo the bas and that was mum, she's bold. Actually,

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Speaker 1: how does that make you feel?

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Speaker 2: My goal on the life is to be able to do

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Speaker 2: a plat Yeah, that's my goal. What next year?

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Speaker 1: Dream high?

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Speaker 2: But then after after the performance the show was over,

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Speaker 2: they had the big finale, all the kids on stage,

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Speaker 2: everyone's cheering, and after she came off stage and Marley

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Speaker 2: was like, that was the best day of my life.

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Speaker 1: Doorphins.

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Speaker 2: They were rude humping. She was just like I love

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Speaker 2: this and she wanted to quit. She's like, I don't

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Speaker 2: want to do this anymore. And then after the concert

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Speaker 2: she was like, let's let's do it again?

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Speaker 1: Can we do it again? Every Saturday?

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Speaker 2: So where now a dance family?

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Speaker 1: Wow? So it was the nerves, all because remember I

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Speaker 1: said last week that something's happened that made it not

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00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:39,800
Speaker 1: like But I think it was the nerves. If you

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Speaker 1: took away the concert, she probably would have still loved it, right.

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Speaker 2: I think, do you know what? She was loving it

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Speaker 2: up until she realized there was going to be the

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Speaker 2: concept there.

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00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:48,920
Speaker 1: It is like so.

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00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:52,640
Speaker 2: Obvious, so obvious. We figured it out, crack the code.

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Speaker 2: She's now got auditions for school dance. So we're currently

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Speaker 2: learning it. Wow, for auditions.

351
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,760
Speaker 1: Give me a move. That's one of the moves? You got?

352
00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:03,560
Speaker 2: One? Two?

353
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:05,240
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, what do they call it?

354
00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:08,040
Speaker 2: One three, four, five, six seven eight?

355
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:09,240
Speaker 1: Wow?

356
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:13,520
Speaker 2: That's well one two, three, four, five six seven eight.

357
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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, you are a dance fan. I'm both

358
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Speaker 1: done dancing with the stars. Hang on with let's just

359
00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:22,680
Speaker 1: let's just talk this out a little bit. And now

360
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:27,520
Speaker 1: Bali does dance. That's all right. So I was really

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00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:30,040
Speaker 1: like trying to project that into something way bigger than

362
00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:33,840
Speaker 1: it was. But yeah, dance family, I know you're renowned,

363
00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:34,640
Speaker 1: you're known for it.

364
00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:36,520
Speaker 2: I know they did a part where they invited some

365
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:39,400
Speaker 2: of the dads in stage to dance, and I couldn't

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Speaker 2: get picked because I was I was up in the

367
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,440
Speaker 2: second tier because you.

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Speaker 1: Waited too long to get tickets.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, think about that. I know that it was good gear.

370
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:50,360
Speaker 2: Actually dad's dancing on stage. It's like a half time entertainment.

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Speaker 2: That's it was very good.

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Speaker 1: You're not getting me out there, though, No fucking chance you,

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Speaker 1: no way. How many beers were I ever had to get.

374
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Speaker 2: Is the RSL pub wasn't even open.

375
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Speaker 1: What that's unbelievable. Good thing we're not doing dance? Ah? Cool? Well,

376
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:12,960
Speaker 1: I'm glad she killed it. So does that mean the

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Speaker 1: dances end for the year?

378
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:15,200
Speaker 2: Still going?

379
00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:15,720
Speaker 1: Oh?

380
00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:18,920
Speaker 2: Just keep going, still going more weeks? Oh?

381
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:19,440
Speaker 1: Was that it?

382
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Speaker 2: Yeah?

383
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:21,320
Speaker 1: And they have like an off season.

384
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:24,240
Speaker 2: It's the off season.

385
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Speaker 1: Dance off season.

386
00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:27,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, because when the school, the school dance starts next year.

387
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:31,760
Speaker 2: Fucking two dances too. I think Lola's going to start

388
00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:32,480
Speaker 2: dancing anyway.

389
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Speaker 1: I can't believe they're in their final term of the

390
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,400
Speaker 1: first year of school. I can what the fuck heck?

391
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:38,200
Speaker 1: Where did that go?

392
00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:44,159
Speaker 2: Ash? There is a question that I don't have to

393
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:47,199
Speaker 2: ask myself because I don't have a son, yeh, Bosca.

394
00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:50,920
Speaker 2: The question is how do you turn a boy into

395
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:51,439
Speaker 2: a man?

396
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,920
Speaker 1: Pubot has definitely got something to do with it.

397
00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:58,520
Speaker 2: Wipe your hands with it. Puberty will do that.

398
00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:02,080
Speaker 1: The TV will teach him how to do. That's a

399
00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:02,920
Speaker 1: good question.

400
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,320
Speaker 2: Well, I want to get your thoughts. There's a video

401
00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:08,280
Speaker 2: that I saw online and it's about a dad who's

402
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:12,480
Speaker 2: got an approach to parenting which I think is pretty dangerous.

403
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,240
Speaker 1: Oh how a watch of this.

404
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:18,159
Speaker 3: Daughters are way easier really, yeah, people say otherwise, But like,

405
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:20,080
Speaker 3: all I have to do is take care of my

406
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:22,600
Speaker 3: daughter and love her and give her things and make

407
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:24,800
Speaker 3: her feel like a princess and she's happy. My son,

408
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:26,919
Speaker 3: on the other hand, it's harder for me because I

409
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,960
Speaker 3: can't just nurture him and caught him like that. I

410
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,119
Speaker 3: have to set him up to be the person that

411
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,240
Speaker 3: will kill and die for the people he loves. When

412
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:36,320
Speaker 3: he's having a sensitive moment or whatever, I have to

413
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:40,240
Speaker 3: stop myself from nurturing him and says, man up, young man,

414
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:42,919
Speaker 3: Oh you fun fell and hurt yourself. Shut up South crying.

415
00:18:43,119 --> 00:18:45,080
Speaker 3: That's what you have to do with the boy. We're

416
00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:46,439
Speaker 3: men and that's what we have to do. We have

417
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:47,440
Speaker 3: to turn boys into men.

418
00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:51,400
Speaker 1: There's a few things here for me. Firstly, he said, well,

419
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:54,680
Speaker 1: you know, we've got to turn boys into men. Okay,

420
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:58,320
Speaker 1: you don't do that by suppressing any emotions that they have.

421
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:03,680
Speaker 1: I think, because statistics will tell you how many men

422
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:09,159
Speaker 1: try and kill themselves every hour, tempt it and succeed

423
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:13,360
Speaker 1: every day, every hour, every month, every week, whatever it is,

424
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:18,159
Speaker 1: because they weren't given the tools to be able to

425
00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:23,040
Speaker 1: express their emotions correctly, or not correctly is the wrong word, sorry,

426
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:27,320
Speaker 1: express their emotions healthily at.

427
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:31,879
Speaker 2: All at all, though. I think his example of his

428
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:37,600
Speaker 2: son falling over and him saying, manner, suck it up.

429
00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:42,800
Speaker 2: Like you said, there is no strength at all in

430
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:45,560
Speaker 2: living in a world where you can't express any emotion.

431
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:47,800
Speaker 2: You've just got to suppress it, and you just got

432
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:51,760
Speaker 2: to bottle it up. And I think the notion that

433
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:55,080
Speaker 2: not showing emotion is going to make you more masculine

434
00:19:55,119 --> 00:19:59,800
Speaker 2: and stronger and be more resilient, I think is so counterintuitive.

435
00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:03,560
Speaker 2: If you grow up always being told that any emotion

436
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:08,800
Speaker 2: that you express, that's like being upset, being sad, being anxious.

437
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,840
Speaker 2: If you're told you can never have those feelings. You're

438
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:14,679
Speaker 2: going to have those feelings regardless. It's unavoidable that you're

439
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,119
Speaker 2: going to go through life, whether you're a man or

440
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,359
Speaker 2: a woman, you are going to have those emotions. And

441
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,480
Speaker 2: if you're being told by one of your parents that

442
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:23,280
Speaker 2: you cannot have those feelings. When you get to an

443
00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:25,720
Speaker 2: older age and you do have those feelings, which again

444
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:28,760
Speaker 2: is inevitable, you're going to have so much internal shame

445
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:31,720
Speaker 2: if you get upset you think I'm not allowed to

446
00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:35,080
Speaker 2: feel this way. To have this idea that you cannot

447
00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:39,760
Speaker 2: feel any type of emotion, it's so unhealthy and it's

448
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:42,240
Speaker 2: just bottling it up in a way that it can

449
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:45,000
Speaker 2: never get released in a way which is healthy. It's

450
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:48,959
Speaker 2: healthy to cry, it's healthy to be angry within reason.

451
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:53,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think like you should be building resilience

452
00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:56,439
Speaker 1: into your kids for sure, but saying man up and

453
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:58,720
Speaker 1: get up falling over is not how you would do that.

454
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:02,000
Speaker 1: See that's for me. It's kind of like, all right,

455
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:06,359
Speaker 1: I want to build resilience in him, but I also

456
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:09,680
Speaker 1: want him to be able to be emotionally healthy. Let's

457
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:14,240
Speaker 1: put this way, right, When when Oscar's older and out

458
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:17,720
Speaker 1: in the world and you know, dating or whatever I

459
00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:20,560
Speaker 1: would love. I would love that he's emotionally available for

460
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:22,399
Speaker 1: a man or a woman, depending on how. You know

461
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:25,120
Speaker 1: what I mean. A line in there he said kill

462
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:28,000
Speaker 1: for your family. But when he said it, it's kind

463
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:30,200
Speaker 1: of like he meant that, you know what I mean?

464
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:32,119
Speaker 1: You know, when you're like, oh, i'd die for you guys,

465
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:33,640
Speaker 1: which I would or I would?

466
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:35,480
Speaker 2: You know? The only way to be masculine is by

467
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:36,640
Speaker 2: by showing violence.

468
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:39,360
Speaker 1: By showing violence, by showing how fucking strong.

469
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:41,240
Speaker 2: You are, be more toxic. If you try.

470
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:43,000
Speaker 1: It can't It can't be good because then what does

471
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,680
Speaker 1: he do? This little kid grows up thinking I can't

472
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,959
Speaker 1: show emotions. No other man around me can show emotions.

473
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:52,280
Speaker 1: Only women can show There there again is another toxic

474
00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:55,159
Speaker 1: thought to think, like, oh, these women are really emotional.

475
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:59,080
Speaker 1: It's like people are emotional, moron, you know what I mean?

476
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:01,760
Speaker 2: Dude. I'm so thankful that I grew up in a

477
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:06,440
Speaker 2: household where my mum didn't just allow, but encouraged any

478
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:09,560
Speaker 2: type of emotion. And it's a bit like when Maley

479
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:13,320
Speaker 2: was being nervous about her dance. You know, if I

480
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:15,280
Speaker 2: was to say to her, you can't be nervous, You're

481
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:17,879
Speaker 2: not allowed to be nervous, be strong, don't let the

482
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:21,320
Speaker 2: nerves come through. You're allowed to feel that way.

483
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:27,000
Speaker 1: Your emotions should be validated totally. Like same thing with

484
00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:31,280
Speaker 1: Oscar yesterday, right for jiu jitsu. He gets nervous every class,

485
00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:33,600
Speaker 1: and I said, you're allowed to be nervous, but you

486
00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:35,960
Speaker 1: know what, when you finish, then you're gonna be happy.

487
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:39,560
Speaker 2: Imagine if you said to Oscar, men don't get nervous. Yeah,

488
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:42,480
Speaker 2: if you get nervous, you're not a man. No, that's

489
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:44,359
Speaker 2: how fucking dangerous is that?

490
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:49,040
Speaker 1: But that's previous generations, right, This guy's just continuing this

491
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:52,560
Speaker 1: this idea of like men go It's like when someone

492
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:54,879
Speaker 1: comments on a man doing something like men used to

493
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:55,440
Speaker 1: go to war.

494
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:58,840
Speaker 2: But I also think his approach to his daughter is

495
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:03,119
Speaker 2: also I don't agree with it either, with the idea

496
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:06,359
Speaker 2: that in order to raise a daughter that's going to

497
00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:09,359
Speaker 2: be a woman is all you have to do is

498
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:11,439
Speaker 2: just give her exactly what she wants and she's going

499
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:12,040
Speaker 2: to be a princess.

500
00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:13,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, because then what is she going to grow up

501
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:15,160
Speaker 1: with that mentality and go into the real world where

502
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:16,640
Speaker 1: you don't just get what you fucking want?

503
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:20,359
Speaker 2: Yeah? What resilience a you're building with your daughter, Like,

504
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:23,080
Speaker 2: it's so detrimental to both genders.

505
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:26,119
Speaker 1: Let's say this, right, in ten years time, ask him

506
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:28,520
Speaker 1: the same question when he's got a teenage daughter that

507
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:32,800
Speaker 1: he's given everything that she's ever wanted. Right, Let's see

508
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:33,560
Speaker 1: what he says. Then.

509
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:37,160
Speaker 2: Also, you look at the comments in that video. There

510
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:40,000
Speaker 2: are so many people who are like he here. I

511
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:44,000
Speaker 2: agree absolutely, men should never show emotion unless someone's died,

512
00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:46,040
Speaker 2: Like that's the only case where they can show emotion.

513
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:49,880
Speaker 2: It's like, oh my fucking god, dude, not to sit

514
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:51,800
Speaker 2: here and judge other people and how they parent. But

515
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:53,439
Speaker 2: I think when it's being done in a way that

516
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:56,679
Speaker 2: is so dangerous, you've got to say something.

517
00:23:56,800 --> 00:24:00,359
Speaker 1: You've got to break the cycle of this. Anyway, it's

518
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:03,199
Speaker 1: an interesting question because I have been thinking about it

519
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:07,119
Speaker 1: a lot, because I mean, my kids are getting to

520
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:09,760
Speaker 1: the a share room. They spend a lot of time together.

521
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:13,840
Speaker 1: You know what siblings are like, nothing ever ends happily,

522
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:17,320
Speaker 1: They're always playing, and then the only time it ever

523
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:21,320
Speaker 1: ends is someone's crying. Then I go, we should stop this.

524
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:23,560
Speaker 1: It's getting bit because someone's going to get someone's going

525
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:25,399
Speaker 1: to get hurt. They don't give a fuck about that.

526
00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:28,359
Speaker 1: And I was starting to think about the way that

527
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:32,280
Speaker 1: my parent Oscar, especially when he's interacting with MACI, who's

528
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:36,560
Speaker 1: a girl, and it led to a lot of anxiety

529
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:41,399
Speaker 1: for me of late. So I went I booked in

530
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,199
Speaker 1: to pick up my therapy again, and I had been

531
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:46,600
Speaker 1: slack on it because I've been busy, which that's no excuse,

532
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:53,080
Speaker 1: because I was trying to stop the interaction altogether with

533
00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:54,560
Speaker 1: each other because I knew where it was going to

534
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:57,520
Speaker 1: end up in a tears or I would have to

535
00:24:57,520 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 1: get upset.

536
00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:00,440
Speaker 2: Give me an example of an interaction where you I've

537
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:02,160
Speaker 2: got to step in here and separate.

538
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:04,919
Speaker 1: If they're if they're just if they're just engaging in

539
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:08,800
Speaker 1: any activity together, just say they're playing snakes and ladders. Yep,

540
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:12,480
Speaker 1: really good example. It's all fun and games until one

541
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:15,720
Speaker 1: of them is a little bit upset about something that's happened,

542
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:20,760
Speaker 1: and then it's like it's it can be you know, teasing.

543
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:23,280
Speaker 2: Or like one's winning more than the other.

544
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:26,320
Speaker 1: It makes me hit Oscar this morning. Yeah, after they

545
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:29,920
Speaker 1: were playing, just hit him and I was like, just

546
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:33,359
Speaker 1: keep your hands to yourself. So this was happening and

547
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:36,000
Speaker 1: I was getting to the point where I would hear

548
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:39,399
Speaker 1: them interact whatsoever, and I'd have this sense of dread.

549
00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 1: I recall vividly I was in my room. It was

550
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:46,359
Speaker 1: early they share a room, and I heard them interacting

551
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:50,119
Speaker 1: with something like doing something, and my heart rate was

552
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:53,239
Speaker 1: through the roof, like I couldn't work out, And I

553
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:56,240
Speaker 1: was anxious because I knew what the end result would be,

554
00:25:56,840 --> 00:26:00,360
Speaker 1: which is someone's gonna cry. I'm gonna have to step in,

555
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:03,080
Speaker 1: and it's going to ruin my day already because I'm

556
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:05,159
Speaker 1: going to get crank. And I was just feeling so

557
00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:08,480
Speaker 1: anxious about it because I heard a couple of times

558
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:12,480
Speaker 1: how Oscar was talking to Macy and I was like, fuck,

559
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:15,760
Speaker 1: that sounded like me, and I was like, that's not good.

560
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:18,560
Speaker 1: He thinks he can talk to her like I can

561
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:20,760
Speaker 1: talk to him when he's doing the wrong thing. That's

562
00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 1: what he thinks. So it led to me thinking about, like, Okay,

563
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:31,240
Speaker 1: well how do I parent this boy? Because he's getting older,

564
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:33,760
Speaker 1: he's getting you know, he's getting more inquisitive. He's lots

565
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:36,679
Speaker 1: of questions and starting to mimic things that he sees.

566
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:39,760
Speaker 1: And I was like, well, I want I want to

567
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,760
Speaker 1: build resilience in him as well as being able to

568
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:45,280
Speaker 1: be a good nurturing parent. But then also I don't

569
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:48,800
Speaker 1: want him to be scared of me when something goes wrong,

570
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:51,359
Speaker 1: because then he won't bring things to me when he

571
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:55,600
Speaker 1: really needs me the most. And I was really struggling

572
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:59,520
Speaker 1: mentally with that, with what's right and what's wrong, and

573
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:02,600
Speaker 1: it made me think about, like, you know, what my

574
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:04,919
Speaker 1: dad was like and what his dad was like, and

575
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:06,600
Speaker 1: I don't want to shit on my dad and my

576
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 1: dad's dad. Here. Progressively, through generations, fathers and sons have

577
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:14,879
Speaker 1: gotten closer. So like I remember when my grandfather died

578
00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:17,639
Speaker 1: and my dad said to me, I don't remember the

579
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:19,880
Speaker 1: last time I hugged my father. That's what he said

580
00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:21,480
Speaker 1: to me, And he goes, can we not be like that?

581
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:22,560
Speaker 2: Wow?

582
00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:25,840
Speaker 1: Yeah? And that's the thing. Like my dad and his

583
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:29,000
Speaker 1: dad they would swap pleasantries and they were it wasn't

584
00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:31,320
Speaker 1: like they weren't at each other in front of us

585
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:34,760
Speaker 1: and stuff like that. But I know that Pop would

586
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:38,639
Speaker 1: come down so hard on Dad. And then when I

587
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:41,439
Speaker 1: was sort of growing up growing up in my house,

588
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:45,080
Speaker 1: Dad and I were closer than that. But also as well,

589
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,240
Speaker 1: the given opportunity, he would come down on me as

590
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 1: hard as he could. And I reflected with my therapist

591
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:54,840
Speaker 1: about a situation that happened when I was a teenager,

592
00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 1: and I was like, Oscar, really hard on myself when

593
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 1: I didn't get something right, okay, And I remember I

594
00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:05,679
Speaker 1: was cooking eggs in the kitchen. This is very basic

595
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:09,240
Speaker 1: cooking and I'm a teenager, and obviously the pan was

596
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:12,879
Speaker 1: too hot because I'm a teenager, and I got really

597
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:16,520
Speaker 1: angry with myself. No one else but my parents heard

598
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:19,400
Speaker 1: me from another room, and Dad had a crack at

599
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:23,040
Speaker 1: me about it. Right, He had an absolute dig at

600
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:26,439
Speaker 1: me about nothing really when I think about it. And

601
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:29,040
Speaker 1: Mum had a dig at him, saying, you're just looking

602
00:28:29,119 --> 00:28:31,879
Speaker 1: for You're just looking for something to have a go

603
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:34,879
Speaker 1: at him about that's what you're doing to him. And

604
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:37,040
Speaker 1: I never really thought anything of it until now I've

605
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 1: got Oscar, and I'm like, am I looking for a

606
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:47,000
Speaker 1: reason to discipline? To discipline instead of instead of I'm

607
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:48,920
Speaker 1: doing what I don't want to do, which is what

608
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:50,920
Speaker 1: I want to I want him to respect me, not

609
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:53,719
Speaker 1: fear me. And I also don't want to be like

610
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:56,000
Speaker 1: my knee jerk reaction here is just to have a

611
00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:58,600
Speaker 1: dig at you, and like, he gets so angry with

612
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 1: himself with things, and I physically have to stop myself

613
00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:06,880
Speaker 1: from getting angry with him being angry, and it was

614
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:08,240
Speaker 1: getting to the point where I was like, I need

615
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 1: to change this.

616
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:11,880
Speaker 2: I also think it's the age when you look at

617
00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:15,040
Speaker 2: like Marley's six, right, and they're at a point now

618
00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:17,680
Speaker 2: where they are being really independent, so much more than

619
00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:19,880
Speaker 2: what they were before. Like they can get dressed themselves,

620
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:22,880
Speaker 2: they can feed themselves, they can make decisions on their own,

621
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:25,800
Speaker 2: and so you're seeing them in a sense that they're

622
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:29,480
Speaker 2: little adults. But at the same time, that's six. They

623
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:30,720
Speaker 2: are so young.

624
00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:33,520
Speaker 1: Oh I know. And that's the thing, right this, I

625
00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:37,280
Speaker 1: would get so anxious, My heart rate would be so

626
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:42,160
Speaker 1: high before anything even happened, right, And then my immediate

627
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:47,400
Speaker 1: response is to just come down on Oscar. Why because

628
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:50,280
Speaker 1: he just reminds me of my fucking self. And I'm like,

629
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:52,520
Speaker 1: and I said to my therapist, I said, I don't

630
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:54,680
Speaker 1: want I don't want to be in a situation where

631
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:56,800
Speaker 1: April's got to have a dig at me because I'm

632
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:58,560
Speaker 1: trying to find a way to have a dig at

633
00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:00,520
Speaker 1: my son. That's not parenting.

634
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:03,960
Speaker 2: And what did your therapist say she validated it.

635
00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:07,480
Speaker 1: That's exactly what she did. She validated it and said, okay, well,

636
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:10,280
Speaker 1: next time he's starting to feel like that. The kids

637
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:12,360
Speaker 1: are interacting because their kids, they're going to play together.

638
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:15,600
Speaker 1: They love each other so much, and Oscar is so

639
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:18,200
Speaker 1: good to his sister. But she was like, next time

640
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,920
Speaker 1: you're starting to feel just say to April, I'm starting

641
00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:22,600
Speaker 1: to feel a little bit anxious, take a deep breath

642
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:24,640
Speaker 1: and think about a different way that you can approach it.

643
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:28,360
Speaker 1: Don't just do it. And that would be my reaction, right.

644
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 1: And I really hit me hard the other day. And

645
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:32,960
Speaker 1: I know I left you guys a voice message where

646
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,720
Speaker 1: I was joking about Macy's bottom lip, but it fucking

647
00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:37,360
Speaker 1: hit me like a ton of bricks, men, because I

648
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:39,800
Speaker 1: was coming down on something that the way that Macy

649
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:42,000
Speaker 1: was talking to her mum, and I've come from the

650
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 1: other room flying in instead of coming in and being like, hey, what,

651
00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:48,200
Speaker 1: like why do you why are you talking to your

652
00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:50,200
Speaker 1: mom like this? We don't talk to you like that.

653
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:52,240
Speaker 2: You talk like that, that's rude.

654
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:57,400
Speaker 1: Because I didn't. I found myself standing over her and

655
00:30:57,440 --> 00:31:00,560
Speaker 1: the lip quivered and I had to ease it back

656
00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:02,360
Speaker 1: because I was like, this is wrong.

657
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:07,480
Speaker 2: But also just know that I do that all the time.

658
00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:12,280
Speaker 2: I know you're not. It's not an isolated case for

659
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:16,640
Speaker 2: yourself to react that way and to let let yourself

660
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:19,600
Speaker 2: try and discipline with the knee jerk reaction of being

661
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 2: frustrated and when it to come down hard, I think

662
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:24,720
Speaker 2: every parent reacts in the same way.

663
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:27,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think there's going to be some instances

664
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:31,120
Speaker 1: where it's gonna be warranted. And we talk, we joke

665
00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 1: about a lot here is like why do I have

666
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:34,320
Speaker 1: to yell at my kids to get them to listen?

667
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:37,800
Speaker 1: And other parents out there listening to this right now

668
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:40,680
Speaker 1: know how frustrating that is, because it is. And you

669
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:42,400
Speaker 1: get to the point where you're just like, I've got

670
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:46,440
Speaker 1: to yell here or nothing's going to happen. But for me,

671
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:50,600
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, that's fine, but I don't want them

672
00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:54,720
Speaker 1: to fear me. Yeah, there's a really thin line here

673
00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:57,959
Speaker 1: where I'm like, okay, where can I be a leader

674
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:01,440
Speaker 1: and they can respect what I say? And I say, hey, guys,

675
00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:04,880
Speaker 1: stop it, and they go, okay, well that's it. That's

676
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:07,560
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, And where's the line where it's like

677
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:11,800
Speaker 1: they hear me coming and it's like I remember, I

678
00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:14,680
Speaker 1: remember as a kid, you know you get scared.

679
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:18,200
Speaker 2: Well, did I hear the cutlery drawer like Russell? And

680
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:20,640
Speaker 2: You'd be like, and I wouldn't want to misbehave because

681
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:22,000
Speaker 2: I didn't want to get hit with the wooden spoon.

682
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:27,040
Speaker 2: That's how like I behaved off the back of fear

683
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:28,880
Speaker 2: of the repercussions of trouble.

684
00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:31,280
Speaker 1: And I want I don't want them to just be

685
00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:33,520
Speaker 1: I just don't want them to fear me. Because the

686
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:36,760
Speaker 1: look in Macy's eye and I don't come down on

687
00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:39,000
Speaker 1: it very often, but she was very rude and I

688
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:41,200
Speaker 1: and I there's a better way of me for me

689
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:43,800
Speaker 1: to do it, but the look in her eye made

690
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:45,959
Speaker 1: me think, I come down on Oscar all like this

691
00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 1: all the time. What sort of damage is that going

692
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:52,040
Speaker 1: to do to him? So I was really wrestling with

693
00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:55,360
Speaker 1: that that it was. It was I was getting anxious

694
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:58,760
Speaker 1: and then I was getting depressed with the outcome, yeah,

695
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:02,400
Speaker 1: and trying to suppress that again. And it was like

696
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:05,080
Speaker 1: I need to pick up my therapy again because it

697
00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:07,960
Speaker 1: just and I've spoke to you about this before, it

698
00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:15,320
Speaker 1: just spirals for me into alcoholic depressive episodes. Of days

699
00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:19,360
Speaker 1: and days on end of me trying to just suppress

700
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:21,640
Speaker 1: it and act like it didn't happen, and it was.

701
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:23,320
Speaker 1: It just got to the point where I remember it

702
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:25,360
Speaker 1: was very early in the morning and they started to

703
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:28,560
Speaker 1: just talk and I was like, it was like a

704
00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 1: pit in my stomach, my heart, I was sweating. April

705
00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:35,520
Speaker 1: was at the gym and I was like, I can't

706
00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:36,360
Speaker 1: do this anymore.

707
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:41,320
Speaker 2: But like, credit to you having the self awareness to

708
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:44,960
Speaker 2: be like I am struggling, Like this is something that

709
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:46,760
Speaker 2: I'm not coping with right now. Because there are so

710
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,880
Speaker 2: people out there who would just continue parenting in that

711
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:54,000
Speaker 2: way of the cycle of wanting to have their kids

712
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:58,200
Speaker 2: fear them. I think that is the easiest way to parent,

713
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:01,959
Speaker 2: but also the least beneficial to grow up to have

714
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:03,640
Speaker 2: a really healthy relationship with your kids.

715
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:06,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I know, like we said, we joke about it,

716
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,080
Speaker 1: and we joke about like I can we're giving advice.

717
00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:10,680
Speaker 1: I can be I can be erratic. I think, like,

718
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:13,520
Speaker 1: look that I'm gonna yell, I'm gonna be erratic, but

719
00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:15,319
Speaker 1: I need to I need to balance that out with

720
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:19,080
Speaker 1: being able to treat Oscar with a little bit more,

721
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:20,800
Speaker 1: a bit more nurturing.

722
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:25,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes sense, No, it does. Lola, who's four,

723
00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:30,719
Speaker 2: she's probably like the naughtiest, Like Marley, is a bit

724
00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:34,239
Speaker 2: of a stickler for following the rules. Yeah, And at

725
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:36,560
Speaker 2: the other morning, Laura was out the door pretty early

726
00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:41,920
Speaker 2: and Lola woke up. Laura was already gone, and Lola

727
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:44,200
Speaker 2: always has like a morning cuddle with Lorda, that's how

728
00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:45,960
Speaker 2: she starts the day. Because she couldn't have that, It's

729
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 2: like a coffee literally, and so she was just so

730
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:52,520
Speaker 2: upset the fact that there was no Laura. She didn't

731
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:54,440
Speaker 2: get a chance to say goodbye, I didn't have that

732
00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:59,200
Speaker 2: that cuddle. So she was just having a tantrum over everything,

733
00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:02,600
Speaker 2: to the point where I gave her a week bix.

734
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:06,000
Speaker 2: She wanted to do the honey but I didn't know that,

735
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:08,120
Speaker 2: so I poured her honey on the wheat bis and

736
00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:12,799
Speaker 2: she just was hysterical, crying, like drueling because she was

737
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:16,000
Speaker 2: crying so much. I was so close to being like

738
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:19,640
Speaker 2: this is fucking ridiculous. Yeah, I'm not going to have this.

739
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:22,880
Speaker 2: You're not going to react. It's we're talking about honey

740
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:26,280
Speaker 2: here on your breakfast, And the way that you're reacting

741
00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:30,239
Speaker 2: is completely silly, because my biggest fear is I don't

742
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:33,759
Speaker 2: want her to think that she's allowed to react to

743
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:37,400
Speaker 2: that situation, which doesn't warrant how she's behaving. My fear

744
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:39,640
Speaker 2: is that if I if I allow her to do

745
00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:42,360
Speaker 2: it one, then she'll do it. She'll react in the

746
00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:43,759
Speaker 2: same way to other situations.

747
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:46,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's like, I know what I can I can

748
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:47,799
Speaker 1: know what I can do here, and I can just

749
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:48,839
Speaker 1: cry that's it.

750
00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:51,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'll melt down and I'll just get what

751
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:53,319
Speaker 2: I want. So I was my initial reaction was I

752
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:56,680
Speaker 2: need to like discipline it because she's behaving in a

753
00:35:56,719 --> 00:36:03,319
Speaker 2: way which is really silly, and I I'm I'm going

754
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:05,400
Speaker 2: to try a different tact to how I would normally parent.

755
00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:10,480
Speaker 2: And you gave her a hug. Yeah, and it's what

756
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:11,040
Speaker 2: she needed.

757
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:15,080
Speaker 1: It's crazy because you don't in that moment you think,

758
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:19,520
Speaker 1: like you said, You're like, you're like we sort of

759
00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 1: think that they're way more autonomous than they actually are,

760
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:27,240
Speaker 1: and we think way And April said it to me before,

761
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:30,840
Speaker 1: she has said you you are putting too much pressure

762
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:35,360
Speaker 1: on him. He doesn't he doesn't have the regulation, regulatory

763
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:37,759
Speaker 1: systems and say with Macy that we have it we

764
00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:40,920
Speaker 1: just because we just think that they should. And yeah,

765
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:44,040
Speaker 1: that the problem here was that I'm not you had

766
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:47,480
Speaker 1: that thought. I wasn't even having that thought, like it

767
00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:51,800
Speaker 1: was getting worse. So it was like, yeah, I needed

768
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:54,719
Speaker 1: I needed someone to say to me, Okay, well, why

769
00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:57,960
Speaker 1: don't you tell me how you're feeling right now and

770
00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:02,600
Speaker 1: then take what i'd take, take this session out to

771
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:06,760
Speaker 1: the world with you, and instead of knee jerk reaction

772
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:11,799
Speaker 1: to stop whatever's happening, just take a deep breath and

773
00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:14,160
Speaker 1: think about, like, what else could I do here? Maybe

774
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,280
Speaker 1: I could maybe I could get them to decide themselves

775
00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:18,120
Speaker 1: of what they should should not be doing.

776
00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:20,880
Speaker 2: Is going to pick up on the fact that you

777
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:23,560
Speaker 2: change how your parents be like, ash, what's going on

778
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:30,800
Speaker 2: with you doing? But we talk about trying to regulate

779
00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:33,600
Speaker 2: our emotions. Yeah, I did have a little moment where

780
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:36,440
Speaker 2: I didn't regulate them very well. When have you ever

781
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:38,399
Speaker 2: had a situation where you've been riding your ear bike

782
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:40,680
Speaker 2: and a cars kind of come out at you?

783
00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:42,520
Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, have you?

784
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:47,680
Speaker 2: I was leaving my house down and down the road

785
00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:51,680
Speaker 2: not far from my driveway. It's a little apartment complex

786
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:54,520
Speaker 2: and there's often cars are coming going it's a very

787
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:59,400
Speaker 2: busy apartment complex. And I had Marley had Lola in

788
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:02,160
Speaker 2: the back of the eby, like, oh, whenever I see

789
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:05,479
Speaker 2: a car that's merging on, like, I always dry pretty slow.

790
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:07,080
Speaker 2: The e bike is a bit of a like Dad's

791
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:10,080
Speaker 2: e bike. You know, Maximum'm going twenty k's an.

792
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:11,160
Speaker 1: Now, yeah, that's not that much.

793
00:38:11,239 --> 00:38:13,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I see a car merging on, I'm just pretending

794
00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:14,680
Speaker 2: like they're not going to be able to see me.

795
00:38:14,719 --> 00:38:16,960
Speaker 2: So I kind of have my hand hovering over the break.

796
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:19,440
Speaker 2: And then as I got closed, I was like, yeah,

797
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:21,359
Speaker 2: this guy's not going to see me. He's pulled out

798
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:23,920
Speaker 2: in front of me. Oh god, and I swear and

799
00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:24,640
Speaker 2: I missed him.

800
00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:28,600
Speaker 1: Oh god, a little bit hairy? He was hairy or

801
00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:33,480
Speaker 1: the situation. The situation good to know, Harry Shoulders.

802
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:39,840
Speaker 2: There was a bear driving the van. He's like, so

803
00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:42,440
Speaker 2: I stopped in front of him and I, you know,

804
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:45,040
Speaker 2: I did the look over the shoulder.

805
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:46,479
Speaker 1: And it's the international sign for OI.

806
00:38:46,719 --> 00:38:49,799
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, and I kind of I went both hands up,

807
00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:52,960
Speaker 2: come on, what's that what's that about? Hey, what's that

808
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:56,480
Speaker 2: about doing? And he looked at me and what I

809
00:38:56,520 --> 00:39:00,520
Speaker 2: was expecting was like hand up apology. So sorry, and

810
00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:03,080
Speaker 2: he then gestured me to keep like keep going.

811
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:05,600
Speaker 1: Come on back like this, yeah.

812
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:06,600
Speaker 2: Carry on, get out of here, shoeing me away.

813
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:09,200
Speaker 1: That's more hand signals I've got from any driver in BONDI,

814
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:10,560
Speaker 1: if I'm honest.

815
00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:12,520
Speaker 2: We were speaking in sign language here. I was like

816
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:16,640
Speaker 2: what about this? And he's like yeah at that point

817
00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:21,080
Speaker 2: and I was like, I was like what what? In

818
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:21,680
Speaker 2: my head, I was.

819
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:23,399
Speaker 1: Like, he might as well flip you off.

820
00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:26,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, well do. I was like, hey, buddy, I got

821
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:28,320
Speaker 2: two kids on the back. You've just pulled out in

822
00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:28,719
Speaker 2: front of.

823
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:32,040
Speaker 1: Me driving there's a white van. Did he have puppies

824
00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:32,359
Speaker 1: in there?

825
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:36,839
Speaker 2: And I was like, you just pulled down in front

826
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:40,040
Speaker 2: of me. Dude, like come on, and he goes fuck off,

827
00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:42,240
Speaker 2: gave me the finger.

828
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:44,319
Speaker 1: Oh yeah.

829
00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:47,960
Speaker 2: Should I have regulated my emotions? Yes? I should? Yes?

830
00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:48,759
Speaker 1: Should I?

831
00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:49,480
Speaker 2: No? I did not?

832
00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:50,960
Speaker 1: How did this go down?

833
00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 2: And I was like, are you fucking serious? I was like,

834
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:57,799
Speaker 2: you're going to flip me off? Mate? I've got a

835
00:39:57,840 --> 00:39:59,279
Speaker 2: four and a six year old on the back of

836
00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:01,719
Speaker 2: my bike. You're not even paying attention to the road.

837
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:04,239
Speaker 2: You pulled out in front of me. You pulled out

838
00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:06,160
Speaker 2: in front of me without saying sorry, you're telling me

839
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 2: to then fuck off? Are you kidding? And he was like, mate, Jesus,

840
00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:13,120
Speaker 2: move on, mate, there's nothing in it. What are you doing?

841
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:15,680
Speaker 2: And I was like I was youwie?

842
00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:16,799
Speaker 1: Oh yeah yeah?

843
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:19,880
Speaker 2: And I was like learn how to fucking drive power?

844
00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:23,439
Speaker 2: And he was like all right, oh mate, yeah, good one,

845
00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:25,480
Speaker 2: good one. The kids were kind of like what do

846
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:25,799
Speaker 2: we do?

847
00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:26,680
Speaker 1: Dad?

848
00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:30,319
Speaker 2: Is everything okay? And he then just like sped off

849
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:32,920
Speaker 2: going past me, and I was like, oh, get you?

850
00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:36,480
Speaker 2: And I was so angry. And then I look up

851
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:41,200
Speaker 2: to my left. Oh no, my neighbor, the family down

852
00:40:41,239 --> 00:40:45,680
Speaker 2: the road walking with their prayers, and I was like, hid.

853
00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:47,879
Speaker 1: How many f bunds did you drop in there? Though?

854
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:49,319
Speaker 1: I love three?

855
00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:51,080
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, I think it was three.

856
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:56,200
Speaker 1: Look, I don't mind that. I was serious, yeah, and

857
00:40:56,239 --> 00:40:59,440
Speaker 1: I was warranted again, did you explain to the girls

858
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:01,640
Speaker 1: that she washed the limit?

859
00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:04,720
Speaker 2: I think Hannah across the road was like, he almost

860
00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:06,120
Speaker 2: hit you, and I was like, thank you always did?

861
00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:09,040
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, I think your reaction is fine. I would

862
00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:13,200
Speaker 1: have flicked rong gosh, smashing windows and.

863
00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:14,840
Speaker 2: The kids were like what was that about, Daddy, and

864
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:18,680
Speaker 2: I was like nothing, nothing, we're late for school.

865
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:25,320
Speaker 1: Oh, my god, it's rude. But I look, I probably

866
00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:27,440
Speaker 1: would have reacted the same way as a lot of

867
00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:28,359
Speaker 1: like it's hard to.

868
00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:29,759
Speaker 2: I wish you, wish you're with me.

869
00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:31,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just.

870
00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:40,080
Speaker 2: What he said. Yeah, Ash, it's my favorite time of

871
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:44,120
Speaker 2: the year because summer, because summer and summertime in Australia

872
00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:47,560
Speaker 2: brings what the heat. Very good, very good. I see

873
00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:47,920
Speaker 2: what I'm doing.

874
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:49,120
Speaker 1: I'm trying to avoid not I.

875
00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:52,480
Speaker 2: Know you you. I feel like you are one of

876
00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:57,600
Speaker 2: the later comers to the Christmas spirit. Yes, it takes

877
00:41:57,600 --> 00:41:59,680
Speaker 2: a while. You're like a big old machine that we

878
00:41:59,719 --> 00:42:00,680
Speaker 2: have to wind up.

879
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:01,160
Speaker 1: It's like.

880
00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:05,040
Speaker 2: It does take me a lot to get in the spirit,

881
00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:08,120
Speaker 2: and we get there and like eventually a lot Christmas

882
00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:11,560
Speaker 2: Christmas Eve, like finally we got him there. He's like

883
00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:14,080
Speaker 2: fall to the room with Christmas spirit and then it's

884
00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:17,080
Speaker 2: time for Christmas. But I I peak early.

885
00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:20,680
Speaker 1: You are very she has said that to me before.

886
00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:23,640
Speaker 1: You do love Christmas.

887
00:42:23,680 --> 00:42:24,160
Speaker 2: I love it.

888
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:25,399
Speaker 1: Easter too.

889
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:29,600
Speaker 2: I do like Easter, but for me it's a close one.

890
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:32,120
Speaker 2: Halloween is great, but Christmas, I mean it's hard to beat.

891
00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:36,920
Speaker 2: It is hard to beat. What's not to love except

892
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:39,520
Speaker 2: go on? When you have a Christmas fail.

893
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:44,680
Speaker 1: I love that. See that part of Christmas? Anything awkward

894
00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 1: I'm all about.

895
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:47,720
Speaker 2: Are you the Christmas Grinch?

896
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:52,399
Speaker 1: Yes? Now we did ask people on socials for their

897
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:56,200
Speaker 1: Christmas fails, chaos stories, anything that happened.

898
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:59,080
Speaker 2: That's somewhat funny to him because I think people go

899
00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:02,839
Speaker 2: into Christmas with great intentions. No one plans to have

900
00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:06,480
Speaker 2: a fail. No, I'm aware of not there's a diabolical

901
00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:09,520
Speaker 2: but I think when you're juggling multiple family members, when

902
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:13,960
Speaker 2: you're you're juggling multiple dishes as well, and especially with

903
00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:17,680
Speaker 2: the Australian summer, the heat adds to the stress of it,

904
00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:21,719
Speaker 2: all mistakes abound to happen. It's unavoidable. Yes, Ash, I

905
00:43:21,719 --> 00:43:24,719
Speaker 2: can't help. But notice you are currently eating a gingerbread

906
00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:26,279
Speaker 2: men that has no arms, has one leg.

907
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:31,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's from Aldi. It's delicious, hence only one leg.

908
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:34,759
Speaker 2: Let look, I guess I guess you could say, go on,

909
00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:37,360
Speaker 2: it's Christmas, treat yourself.

910
00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:40,560
Speaker 1: That's going to be my motto this year. Anything do it,

911
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:43,920
Speaker 1: don't hold back from Audi and a shout out to

912
00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:46,400
Speaker 1: AUDI because they are actually sponsoring this segment matter. That's

913
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:48,279
Speaker 1: why I've got this delicious food ash.

914
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:58,480
Speaker 2: It's time for Christmas fails. Nadina has written in and

915
00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:01,719
Speaker 2: she says her Chris was fail that she described as

916
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:06,320
Speaker 2: a true disaster. Go on, everyone sat down for Christmas lunch.

917
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:08,440
Speaker 2: My uncle. It's always the uncle.

918
00:44:09,239 --> 00:44:10,919
Speaker 1: I know it is. It's so much easier to blame

919
00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:11,520
Speaker 1: the uncle too.

920
00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:14,440
Speaker 2: My uncle popped the cork of the champagne, hit the

921
00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:20,360
Speaker 2: fluoro light above the table and smashed it, covering every

922
00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:24,040
Speaker 2: single plate of food in smashed glass.

923
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:28,759
Speaker 1: And those things explode to the fluorescent lights. Shit everywhere.

924
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:34,040
Speaker 2: What do you do there? Do you just just eat it?

925
00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:36,520
Speaker 1: Well, you can't surely know there's gonna be some sort

926
00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:38,520
Speaker 1: of chemical in it. Oh no, there's more.

927
00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:43,080
Speaker 2: All they could do was make sandwiches for Christmas lunch. Ah,

928
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:46,080
Speaker 2: stay with whatever was left over in the kitchen.

929
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:47,920
Speaker 1: Oh so sad.

930
00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:49,760
Speaker 2: Imagine the uncle.

931
00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:53,160
Speaker 1: Sorry, guys, and you'd feel horrible.

932
00:44:53,640 --> 00:44:54,600
Speaker 2: You might cheese sandwich.

933
00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:57,239
Speaker 1: Because usually what would happen with families, right, correct me

934
00:44:57,239 --> 00:44:59,759
Speaker 1: if I'm wrong, outside of family coming in together to

935
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:02,440
Speaker 1: break together, they will will bring a dish or that

936
00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:04,520
Speaker 1: you're in charge of the meat. You're in charge of that,

937
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:07,680
Speaker 1: And all of a sudden, Uncle Bob, who's rang nothing.

938
00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:10,799
Speaker 2: He's like, hey, everyone married Christians.

939
00:45:12,239 --> 00:45:15,040
Speaker 1: And he didn't even buy the champagne. He was like,

940
00:45:15,120 --> 00:45:16,400
Speaker 1: let's get this party started.

941
00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:22,399
Speaker 2: I'll see myself out.

942
00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:25,399
Speaker 1: I would never go back. He's not invited next year.

943
00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:28,920
Speaker 1: Apparently that mine's from Alice. Alice writes it was our dog,

944
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:30,279
Speaker 1: Alan Rickman's.

945
00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:36,399
Speaker 2: That sounds like such a movie name.

946
00:45:36,680 --> 00:45:40,080
Speaker 1: Who gives the dog a last name, like a prominent

947
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:45,840
Speaker 1: last name, puppy's name? This one on that because that's funny.

948
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:47,160
Speaker 2: Nathan Christiensen.

949
00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:54,360
Speaker 1: It was our dog, Alan Rickman's first Christmas with us,

950
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:58,600
Speaker 1: and we were at my parents' house. They were having

951
00:45:58,760 --> 00:46:02,080
Speaker 1: thirty or so people over for Christmas. That's too many,

952
00:46:02,440 --> 00:46:06,000
Speaker 1: thirty or so people over for Christmas morning breakfast what

953
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:09,960
Speaker 1: and had brought seven packets of around thirty croissants the

954
00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:13,400
Speaker 1: day before. Oh no, we left the dog alone in

955
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:16,520
Speaker 1: the house for an hour in the afternoon of Christmas Eve,

956
00:46:16,920 --> 00:46:21,360
Speaker 1: Alan not Alan Rickman, and he proceeded to get into

957
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:25,520
Speaker 1: all of the croissants. He ate every single one and

958
00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:28,040
Speaker 1: then markets seven packets.

959
00:46:28,239 --> 00:46:29,160
Speaker 2: It's dog alive.

960
00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:33,320
Speaker 1: That's gonna be a world record. He ate every single

961
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:35,799
Speaker 1: one of them, and then to follow up took a

962
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:39,960
Speaker 1: giant poo under the Christmas tree on top of all

963
00:46:40,040 --> 00:46:44,319
Speaker 1: the presents. It also only seemed to be on my

964
00:46:44,520 --> 00:46:47,000
Speaker 1: dad's presence, which was amazing.

965
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:46,960
Speaker 3: But.

966
00:46:48,640 --> 00:46:52,440
Speaker 1: Needless to say, he was kept outside for literally shitting

967
00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:55,279
Speaker 1: all over Christmas. And there's a really sad it's a

968
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:58,919
Speaker 1: Jack Russell too. Can just imagine that it's not even

969
00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:02,719
Speaker 1: a big dog? Thirty chryssans. Yeah, wow, did he at

970
00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:04,319
Speaker 1: least heat them up before he had it?

971
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:08,239
Speaker 2: I'm far out that is? That makes you feel so

972
00:47:08,320 --> 00:47:10,560
Speaker 2: much better about the Christmas fails that I've had. Oh,

973
00:47:10,600 --> 00:47:12,800
Speaker 2: for God's sake, what are you eating now? Okay? Okay?

974
00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:14,719
Speaker 1: Apple? Stolen and gingerbread?

975
00:47:14,719 --> 00:47:14,799
Speaker 3: Man?

976
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:15,680
Speaker 2: Apple? What sorry?

977
00:47:15,840 --> 00:47:16,759
Speaker 1: Stolen from?

978
00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:17,000
Speaker 2: Who?

979
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:19,560
Speaker 1: Very good? From? Aldi? Good? Different?

980
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:24,359
Speaker 2: This is the last one, okay, jess right. A few

981
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:27,520
Speaker 2: years ago, my mother in law told everyone that we

982
00:47:27,520 --> 00:47:31,520
Speaker 2: were doing Chris Kringle. However, she told everyone that they

983
00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:36,239
Speaker 2: had her in the Chris Kringle. So Christmas Day she

984
00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:39,920
Speaker 2: opens presents from everyone and no one else gets a

985
00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:45,120
Speaker 2: single present. Her excuse was that the mother should be

986
00:47:45,120 --> 00:47:46,239
Speaker 2: spoiled on Christmas.

987
00:47:47,600 --> 00:47:50,600
Speaker 1: That's psychotic. Evil is evil?

988
00:47:51,200 --> 00:47:52,200
Speaker 2: Fuck you all.

989
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:57,680
Speaker 1: I low key like that, though, I think like wow

990
00:47:58,239 --> 00:48:00,920
Speaker 1: at what point surely, because you know how you're like,

991
00:48:00,960 --> 00:48:02,319
Speaker 1: you're not meant to tell anyone who you got, but

992
00:48:02,320 --> 00:48:04,279
Speaker 1: you do anyway. Yeah, Like I was like, who you

993
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:06,120
Speaker 1: got and you're like, I'm not telling her. It's like

994
00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:08,239
Speaker 1: we're married, you have to tell me. It's like, oh god,

995
00:48:08,239 --> 00:48:11,120
Speaker 1: I got your mum. Surely they worked out and be

996
00:48:11,160 --> 00:48:14,080
Speaker 1: like I know I've got her too, and then she's

997
00:48:14,080 --> 00:48:15,280
Speaker 1: got every bresent.

998
00:48:16,040 --> 00:48:16,800
Speaker 2: It's genius.

999
00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:17,800
Speaker 1: It is genius.

1000
00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:18,520
Speaker 2: It's genius.

1001
00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:20,720
Speaker 1: I think that's good gear. Also good gear.

1002
00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:24,080
Speaker 2: This food you at the Stolens. If you have a

1003
00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:27,640
Speaker 2: Christmas veil, we would love to have it on the podcast.

1004
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:29,799
Speaker 2: You can send it in at Two Doting Dads on

1005
00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:31,320
Speaker 2: social media or on email.

1006
00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:33,600
Speaker 1: Go on it's Christmas.

1007
00:48:33,640 --> 00:48:36,400
Speaker 2: I thought you're going to say the email address hello.

1008
00:48:39,239 --> 00:48:42,160
Speaker 1: Hello at Two Doting Dads dot com on it's Christmas.

1009
00:48:42,160 --> 00:48:46,840
Speaker 1: Aldi good different. If you've enjoyed this episode, please like

1010
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:49,800
Speaker 1: I have. I've enjoyed it, then you can please leave. Matt.

1011
00:48:49,880 --> 00:48:51,040
Speaker 1: Oh well, I'll let you do the begging.

1012
00:48:51,640 --> 00:48:54,160
Speaker 2: Please the love of God.

1013
00:48:56,080 --> 00:48:57,919
Speaker 1: You're trying all different types of baking.

1014
00:48:58,200 --> 00:49:00,279
Speaker 2: How can I approach this one? I look, I would

1015
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:04,279
Speaker 2: I'll play this one like a bit like a nonchalant. Yeah,

1016
00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:05,680
Speaker 2: I was gonna say that word was I don't know

1017
00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:10,080
Speaker 2: how to say that word properly. Nonchalant. Non I've been

1018
00:49:10,160 --> 00:49:12,399
Speaker 2: A review would be good, I guess if.

1019
00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:14,759
Speaker 1: You want, you don't have to. If you want, I

1020
00:49:14,840 --> 00:49:16,800
Speaker 1: might read it. If it's there, you don't have to.

1021
00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:19,640
Speaker 2: I mean, five stars if that's what you're into.

1022
00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:22,480
Speaker 1: Whatever, How was that? That's good? Yeah? Otherwise, you can

1023
00:49:22,520 --> 00:49:26,000
Speaker 1: join us on socials Two Doting Dads, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook

1024
00:49:26,080 --> 00:49:27,719
Speaker 1: and YouTube.

1025
00:49:28,520 --> 00:49:29,480
Speaker 2: I think that's it.

1026
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:31,920
Speaker 1: That's it for now everything. Let's get out of here.

1027
00:49:32,160 --> 00:49:46,880
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm sorry, Bye bye bye. Two Doting Dads podcast

1028
00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:50,600
Speaker 2: acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and the

1029
00:49:50,640 --> 00:49:52,960
Speaker 2: connections to land, see and community.

1030
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:55,720
Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present

1031
00:49:55,800 --> 00:49:58,880
Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander

1032
00:49:58,920 --> 00:50:02,560
Speaker 1: people's today. This episode was recorded on gadagal Land