WEBVTT - The Flex & Froomes Social Media Act 💻 📱 0:00:00.680 --> 0:00:03.440 Tuto, Flex and Frooms, the Flex and Frooms catch up 0:00:03.440 --> 0:00:05.360 podcast Lex and Rooms. 0:00:06.440 --> 0:00:09.040 It is flexing Frooms on CATA. Another day another dollar. Look, 0:00:09.119 --> 0:00:11.680 Froom and I combined have so many thoughts about the world, 0:00:11.720 --> 0:00:13.640 and yet we didn't feel like authorities to share those thoughts. 0:00:13.680 --> 0:00:17.200 That's changed. That has changed. Social media a place of 0:00:17.280 --> 0:00:21.279 contention to many ruthless and reckless banshees operating in a 0:00:21.280 --> 0:00:23.600 way that's not conducive to us having good time. So 0:00:23.680 --> 0:00:26.840 what we decided is to make a Social Media Act. 0:00:27.560 --> 0:00:32.400 This is legal redacted. This is quintessential because decorum is 0:00:32.440 --> 0:00:34.239 no longer a thing of the present. It's a thing 0:00:34.280 --> 0:00:35.800 of the past. But we are ready to change that. 0:00:36.080 --> 0:00:38.800 Welcome to the Flex and Firms Social Media Act. This 0:00:39.320 --> 0:00:42.160 is Flex and Frooms on CATA. Welcome back to Flex 0:00:42.200 --> 0:00:45.280 and Frooms. Our first installment of a very important government 0:00:45.320 --> 0:00:48.880 based segment. It is Flex and Firms Social Media Act. Yeah, 0:00:48.920 --> 0:00:49.559 we really say, a. 0:00:49.600 --> 0:00:51.800 New bill looking to be past late twenty twenty three, 0:00:51.920 --> 0:00:53.760 early twenty twenty four. We're working on it. 0:00:53.840 --> 0:00:58.680 Forget Dutch. We're gonna learn legalies. Very important. Today's rules 0:00:58.680 --> 0:01:01.080 are rules from following. What is your first rule of 0:01:01.120 --> 0:01:02.560 the unfollowed flex mummy. 0:01:02.680 --> 0:01:04.840 When it comes to one following someone, if in that 0:01:04.920 --> 0:01:07.840 moment your unfollowed will cause more harm to the person 0:01:07.880 --> 0:01:10.640 than is warranted, keep followed. I like that, And what 0:01:10.680 --> 0:01:12.200 I mean by that is some people just take it 0:01:12.240 --> 0:01:14.840 really really poorly, and it's just like to me, it's flippant. 0:01:14.840 --> 0:01:17.280 I could follow and unfollow anyone, the uber driver, you know, 0:01:17.880 --> 0:01:20.280 the person at the bar, that girl I met once, 0:01:20.560 --> 0:01:22.720 and I could unfollow you just as quick. It's all good. 0:01:22.760 --> 0:01:24.800 But if you're a close friend with bad content, you 0:01:24.880 --> 0:01:25.680 gotta stay followed. 0:01:26.440 --> 0:01:30.920 If you've slept with someone, okay, if you've laid pipe, 0:01:31.440 --> 0:01:34.600 If you've if you've laid pipe once and you're not 0:01:34.640 --> 0:01:37.240 going to see each other again, unfollow totally warranted. 0:01:37.520 --> 0:01:40.400 And that is not about the race of like to follower. 0:01:40.640 --> 0:01:43.119 That's putting someone back in their place. You were invited 0:01:43.120 --> 0:01:46.880 into the inner sanctum segurtively literally, now you're part of 0:01:46.880 --> 0:01:51.720 gen pop gen pop general population. The prison system is 0:01:51.760 --> 0:01:55.280 my body ready? Yep? 0:01:55.640 --> 0:01:56.160 Another one? 0:01:56.240 --> 0:01:59.520 Okay. If you do the unfollow, follow as like a 0:01:59.560 --> 0:02:02.720 manipulative scare tactic to get someone to notice you seek 0:02:02.720 --> 0:02:06.400 help and uh, because I know you're out there. I 0:02:06.440 --> 0:02:08.919 know you're out there. I know you're out there. 0:02:09.600 --> 0:02:13.720 Follow and follow, follow, follow. I think you need to 0:02:13.720 --> 0:02:16.440 be really mindful of what your following list looks like. 0:02:16.880 --> 0:02:19.000 Now I haven't done this before, but I know some 0:02:19.080 --> 0:02:22.480 people that when they first start dating someone, look through 0:02:22.480 --> 0:02:24.400 the whole follow list. Okay, have you ever done that? 0:02:26.080 --> 0:02:29.480 Has anyone done that? You've done much for you? Bob 0:02:30.120 --> 0:02:31.840 might look through all the follow I'm looking through all 0:02:31.840 --> 0:02:33.680 the women legend. 0:02:33.919 --> 0:02:36.320 Why don't we Why don't we read between the lines? You? 0:02:36.360 --> 0:02:38.679 Why don't we? Why don't we pull out what's really 0:02:38.720 --> 0:02:41.920 being said here? There might be a little situation. You know, 0:02:42.440 --> 0:02:47.000 you've somehow managed to jump into the social media profile 0:02:47.040 --> 0:02:49.359 of the person that you're interested in. You know, maybe 0:02:49.360 --> 0:02:51.120 I don't post enfe so like you've gone through all 0:02:51.160 --> 0:02:53.480 the feed posts, You've gone through all the tagged posts, 0:02:53.480 --> 0:02:55.079 and what's left for you to do but go through 0:02:55.080 --> 0:02:57.840 their following Okay, you start looking through. Maybe you see 0:02:57.880 --> 0:03:01.320 a few complex magazine, that's fine, you might see it 0:03:01.360 --> 0:03:05.880 Lost Hunting, Yeah, little Woolworths, Little lad Bible, little Fine. 0:03:06.080 --> 0:03:07.960 And then there are a few ones. Now you might 0:03:08.040 --> 0:03:10.520 start seeing a bunch of people who look just like you, 0:03:10.560 --> 0:03:12.760 and you might say I'm in good hands, or you 0:03:12.840 --> 0:03:17.880 might start seeing some like MRA men's rights activist content 0:03:17.919 --> 0:03:20.399 you say, oh, it could just be an accident. Could 0:03:20.400 --> 0:03:22.800 just be an accidentoke. You know what I will say 0:03:22.960 --> 0:03:25.640 is I follow like almost four thousand people. I've been 0:03:25.680 --> 0:03:28.639 on Instagram for like ten years. I'm not cleaning that out. 0:03:28.880 --> 0:03:32.280 One time I tried, I downloaded an app that cleans 0:03:32.320 --> 0:03:34.960 out anyone who you haven't interacted with or they haven't 0:03:34.960 --> 0:03:36.960 interacted with you in the last I don't know two 0:03:36.960 --> 0:03:39.280 months or three months, and it unfollowed so many people 0:03:39.280 --> 0:03:40.920 that I knew in real life in a day to 0:03:41.000 --> 0:03:43.880 day that they were messaging me or messaging my friends 0:03:43.880 --> 0:03:45.560 and being like, what's flex this problem with me? Like? 0:03:45.560 --> 0:03:47.280 Have I done something wrong? It was just too hard, 0:03:47.320 --> 0:03:49.920 so I guess everyone says anything else. Well. 0:03:49.960 --> 0:03:51.800 You also never know when someone's gonna come back in 0:03:51.800 --> 0:03:54.760 your life. Eg. If you follow people from school or 0:03:54.760 --> 0:03:56.680 from your first job, you never know when they could 0:03:56.720 --> 0:03:58.000 come in handy keep. 0:03:57.800 --> 0:04:00.760 People followed so you can use them to your advantage. 0:04:01.280 --> 0:04:04.120 Keeter Flex and Frooms Flex and Firms. 0:04:04.360 --> 0:04:07.680 Today, we're talking about the age old scenario. If you're 0:04:07.720 --> 0:04:11.040 taking photos of your friends. Do you need their consent 0:04:11.200 --> 0:04:11.920 to post it? 0:04:12.120 --> 0:04:15.920 Go? This is a case by case scenario. If your 0:04:15.960 --> 0:04:21.640 friend has body image issues or I'm gonna take it there, Okay, 0:04:21.720 --> 0:04:24.920 okay it no, I will say before you post an 0:04:24.920 --> 0:04:27.640 image of your friend, Yeah, you need to assess are 0:04:27.640 --> 0:04:29.479 they someone that's gonna get their back up? Because there's 0:04:29.520 --> 0:04:32.400 nothing worse than posting some pictures as part of a 0:04:32.440 --> 0:04:34.760 long story and someone wants to delete it. 0:04:34.760 --> 0:04:39.000 It's like, Babes, your particular still was image twenty five 0:04:39.080 --> 0:04:42.279 of a fifty two slide story. If I take out 0:04:42.279 --> 0:04:44.560 twenty five, the flow is not there, the story is 0:04:44.560 --> 0:04:47.640 not story. I understand what you're saying. I even commend 0:04:47.680 --> 0:04:51.240 you for that stretch. But what I hate about interacting 0:04:51.560 --> 0:04:54.599 with someone's issues from the perimeter is that you either 0:04:54.640 --> 0:04:56.839 like fall into the cycle when it's not helpful. Like 0:04:56.920 --> 0:04:58.320 do you think I look good? Do I look bad? 0:04:58.400 --> 0:04:59.600 Is that a good one? Can we take in a 0:04:59.600 --> 0:05:02.040 different wa it's what you look like. I captured you 0:05:02.360 --> 0:05:04.440 as you are, so I don't want to I don't 0:05:04.440 --> 0:05:07.039 want to confuse us about what we're looking at. That 0:05:07.240 --> 0:05:10.440 is you? Okay? Another rule when the phone comes out, 0:05:10.760 --> 0:05:13.960 especially as a documentarian, you know the score. You know 0:05:14.000 --> 0:05:16.680 what's going on, So you have three seconds to opt out. 0:05:16.760 --> 0:05:19.360 You already know what's happening. When Flex in particular gets 0:05:19.400 --> 0:05:24.200 out the phone. I'm assuming informed consent based on our 0:05:24.240 --> 0:05:26.240 previous history, and you know what it is. If you're 0:05:26.240 --> 0:05:27.920 like and you say it all the time, don't put 0:05:27.920 --> 0:05:28.240 that up. 0:05:28.400 --> 0:05:29.279 Yeah no, put it up. 0:05:29.320 --> 0:05:31.520 I'm like, okay, cool. If anything you like, put that up, 0:05:32.440 --> 0:05:35.120 tag me it's going up, and I understand. But like, 0:05:35.240 --> 0:05:36.920 you know what the score is when the phone comes out, 0:05:36.960 --> 0:05:40.599 I'm so sorry. I'm not doing embargoed pickies waiting for 0:05:40.640 --> 0:05:42.640 your approval for release. I'm not playing. 0:05:43.279 --> 0:05:44.960 I will say, when you took a video of me 0:05:45.880 --> 0:05:49.039 trying to excavate the gunk from my belly button the 0:05:49.040 --> 0:05:51.000 other day and threatened to post it, that was really 0:05:51.120 --> 0:05:51.960 that's a wake up call. 0:05:52.200 --> 0:05:54.039 It was a wake up call. And so that I say, 0:05:54.120 --> 0:05:55.680 be more mindful of the way that you show up 0:05:55.680 --> 0:05:59.640 in physical spaces, because there's always cameras watching in this 0:05:59.760 --> 0:06:05.600 room alone one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. 0:06:05.680 --> 0:06:08.800 Eight, nine, eight, ten, eleven, twelve, this twelve cameras. 0:06:08.520 --> 0:06:10.560 And on the monitors too. It's not safe. 0:06:10.760 --> 0:06:13.480 I will say, I personally am quite a liberal person 0:06:13.520 --> 0:06:16.240 when it comes to getting naked and being silly. I 0:06:16.279 --> 0:06:18.840 know you wouldn't see it because I don't post about it. However, 0:06:18.960 --> 0:06:21.120 the other day of my birthday, a friend posted a 0:06:21.120 --> 0:06:23.799 picture of our bare asses. Might I say the ass 0:06:23.839 --> 0:06:27.240 was looking small, but it was giving, was sitting. Yeah, 0:06:27.400 --> 0:06:31.640 it's that definitely a good photo. And yeah I thought this. 0:06:31.960 --> 0:06:34.839 You know people shouldn't geting this for free. Yeah, so that's. 0:06:34.720 --> 0:06:37.440 When you started the only fans put a paywall up, 0:06:37.520 --> 0:06:38.119 got your bag. 0:06:38.200 --> 0:06:41.160 I commend exactly so I say, if it's too suggestive 0:06:41.200 --> 0:06:43.360 of your friends, such as if their breasts are looking 0:06:43.440 --> 0:06:47.440 quite juice or the bottom is giving, then perhaps consider 0:06:47.640 --> 0:06:48.440 asking first. 0:06:48.720 --> 0:06:50.479 I want to say that's common sense, just like not 0:06:50.560 --> 0:06:52.560 put it up. That one goes in the group chat 0:06:52.680 --> 0:06:56.840 and you say, great memories, save archive, enjoy. I will say, 0:06:56.839 --> 0:06:59.400 as a standard, if we can end on a high note, 0:07:00.320 --> 0:07:04.240 out or the silence I'm going to assume is a 0:07:04.279 --> 0:07:07.040 green light doesn't work in every context. Don't get it twisted, 0:07:07.160 --> 0:07:09.600 your sick goos, but opt out or you're opted in. 0:07:09.880 --> 0:07:10.320 There you go. 0:07:10.520 --> 0:07:15.840 This is the social media act. It's a hammer ajourn agent. 0:07:16.080 --> 0:07:19.120 You're listening to flex and frooms on CADA. 0:07:18.960 --> 0:07:21.480 Today we're discussing over indulgent birthday posts. 0:07:21.680 --> 0:07:24.600 Personally, I armed an ard on my birthday this year. 0:07:24.760 --> 0:07:26.920 About a month ago, there was a few texts back 0:07:26.920 --> 0:07:29.360 and forth to numerous friends saying, is this photo of 0:07:29.400 --> 0:07:33.040 me princess a little too much to post? And you 0:07:33.080 --> 0:07:35.120 know what I was came back to bite me. Someone said, 0:07:35.120 --> 0:07:36.480 I can't stop looking at those ears? 0:07:37.080 --> 0:07:39.400 Is this in reference to my large ears? 0:07:39.480 --> 0:07:41.640 Apparently got large ears? Let me have a look. See 0:07:41.680 --> 0:07:45.920 you hesitated? Do I I have large ears? 0:07:46.120 --> 0:07:48.600 Do you know what? Let's just do a quick comparison. 0:07:49.240 --> 0:07:51.720 I actually have quite petite ears. You see them from 0:07:51.720 --> 0:07:53.440 the front. You can definitely see yours. 0:07:53.560 --> 0:07:57.680 Honey. If you whoa, it's a e. They just look 0:07:57.680 --> 0:08:00.920 like a little macaroni the smallest. 0:08:02.120 --> 0:08:04.520 Say, I can't stop looking at those ears. I didn't 0:08:04.560 --> 0:08:08.120 think your is abnormal. Literally, I mean, don't do it 0:08:08.160 --> 0:08:10.520 like that. Please give yourself. 0:08:10.600 --> 0:08:12.880 I mean they're not they're not the smallest ears. 0:08:12.920 --> 0:08:15.440 When we see the photo. Yeah, yeah, I think the 0:08:15.440 --> 0:08:17.040 photo in question will help you know. 0:08:17.160 --> 0:08:19.280 If you put a photo of yourself as a baby, 0:08:19.360 --> 0:08:20.880 it's you cute as you've ever looked. 0:08:21.320 --> 0:08:23.440 This is is it weird of your friend to like 0:08:23.760 --> 0:08:25.000 bring you back down to earth. 0:08:25.240 --> 0:08:27.480 My friend, it was random. 0:08:28.200 --> 0:08:29.720 What this is worse? 0:08:29.960 --> 0:08:31.440 Are you already? Are you ready? So? 0:08:31.520 --> 0:08:32.520 I can't get enough of those. 0:08:32.760 --> 0:08:35.560 That's just a regular she's giving me ear dysmorphia. 0:08:35.720 --> 0:08:38.320 So this is a full blown stranger commenting about your 0:08:38.400 --> 0:08:45.080 eide didn't retrospective like dysmorphia, like you didn't. You weren't 0:08:45.080 --> 0:08:48.120 insecure about it then, but currently it's something you should 0:08:48.120 --> 0:08:48.480 bring up. 0:08:48.480 --> 0:08:50.240 It's like when I posted a photo of me in 0:08:50.280 --> 0:08:52.240 primary school and someone said have a massive head, Like, 0:08:53.240 --> 0:08:54.920 don't make me get that photo up as well. The 0:08:54.960 --> 0:08:56.559 head is looking large, but I looks cute. 0:08:56.559 --> 0:08:58.640 What kind of environment have you cultivated with? People are 0:08:58.679 --> 0:09:00.000 just saying these things to you? 0:09:00.040 --> 0:09:01.120 I don't know, man, I don't like though. 0:09:01.200 --> 0:09:05.480 Let me victim blaming the over indulgent birthday post definitely 0:09:05.600 --> 0:09:08.800 something that twas in my repertoire as an early twenty 0:09:08.880 --> 0:09:10.559 year old. I was that person who was like, it's 0:09:10.559 --> 0:09:13.360 my birthday month, it's all about me. Then life kind 0:09:13.360 --> 0:09:14.880 of humbles you and you realize it's a regular day 0:09:14.920 --> 0:09:18.240 for everyone else and nobody actually cares. And so it's 0:09:18.280 --> 0:09:20.320 currently not in my repertoire. I'll do like the classic, 0:09:20.360 --> 0:09:23.040 like you know, the single feed it's my birthday might 0:09:23.080 --> 0:09:26.080 reference on the story, but I have the belief that 0:09:26.280 --> 0:09:28.800 if you don't celebrate yourself, who will. So if you 0:09:28.840 --> 0:09:30.880 feel it in your core, definitely do it. 0:09:31.240 --> 0:09:33.920 I also say I never think h someone posts about 0:09:33.920 --> 0:09:36.120 their birthday like I always like it. I like to 0:09:36.120 --> 0:09:38.920 see people reflect. I like to remember that we are 0:09:39.240 --> 0:09:41.440 mortal on this earth and time is a chicken. 0:09:41.600 --> 0:09:45.280 If you will, I will say I would much rather 0:09:45.400 --> 0:09:49.160 someone's self curate their over indulgent birthday posts and stories 0:09:49.160 --> 0:09:52.120 and have the expectation that all their friends will so 0:09:52.120 --> 0:09:55.160 they add to story I don't like personally, I'm not 0:09:55.200 --> 0:09:57.840 a big fan of I'm on your feed, it's your birthday, 0:09:57.880 --> 0:09:59.680 and every single story you've posted it is just a 0:09:59.720 --> 0:10:03.720 reh share, a reshare, a reshare. It's looking messy visually, 0:10:03.760 --> 0:10:05.840 not an enjoyable experience. It's a no for me. 0:10:06.440 --> 0:10:08.560 Definitely was guilty of that. But it's hard because if 0:10:08.600 --> 0:10:09.920 you get a lot of if you get a lot 0:10:09.920 --> 0:10:13.040 of story mentions, the next year is a big bit 0:10:13.080 --> 0:10:13.640 to follow up. 0:10:13.679 --> 0:10:16.640 Folks. It kind of reminds me of on Facebook, you know, 0:10:16.720 --> 0:10:18.360 like you get into the habit of like being like 0:10:18.480 --> 0:10:20.959 the value of my birthday is defined by how many 0:10:21.040 --> 0:10:23.720 posts on my wall. And then you graduate from Facebook 0:10:23.720 --> 0:10:25.080 and you say, all my value is defined by how 0:10:25.120 --> 0:10:28.280 many text messages I got saying happy birthday. I'm not 0:10:28.320 --> 0:10:29.360 responding to those anyway. 0:10:29.400 --> 0:10:30.000 It's all good. 0:10:30.880 --> 0:10:33.680 It's all good. It's a lot any other thoughts. 0:10:33.880 --> 0:10:35.480 I've said all I need to say. But I do 0:10:35.559 --> 0:10:37.040 want to say. If you're the person said I had big. 0:10:36.920 --> 0:10:41.240 Ears, Everyone's like, whoa, it's like casting a shadow. 0:10:40.880 --> 0:10:46.400 Over us, like huge, laying my ears out of it? 0:10:46.400 --> 0:10:49.640 Okay for somebody who's made a lot of statements about 0:10:49.679 --> 0:10:51.679 not wanting their body to be spoken about. People keep 0:10:51.679 --> 0:10:52.400 speaking about. 0:10:52.240 --> 0:10:58.400 Your body about me? What about keep going I'm having it? 0:10:58.720 --> 0:10:59.280 Isn't there. 0:11:02.080 --> 0:11:08.319 I've had enough my ears. Can't you see? I want 0:11:08.320 --> 0:11:14.520 to live, but you want bitching? Oh you won't stop 0:11:15.160 --> 0:11:16.600 talking about my ears? 0:11:17.320 --> 0:11:18.120 What about me? 0:11:19.240 --> 0:11:19.720 Wrap it up? 0:11:19.800 --> 0:11:27.760 King fru meno through me boommmy like smile. You're listening 0:11:27.800 --> 0:11:30.720 to Flex and Frooms on Kaita today. 0:11:30.720 --> 0:11:34.439 We're talking about following friends. The question do you have 0:11:34.480 --> 0:11:38.360 to follow your friends? No? But I don't see why 0:11:38.400 --> 0:11:43.439 you wouldn't, right, a follow is such a baseless metric. 0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:47.040 It's a button. Chances are, the way Zuckerberg set it up, 0:11:47.040 --> 0:11:48.280 they're not gonna see their stuff anyway. 0:11:48.360 --> 0:11:48.760 Facts. 0:11:48.840 --> 0:11:52.280 So realistically, the only reason why you'd be funny about 0:11:52.320 --> 0:11:54.920 following a friend is if you're funny about keeping that 0:11:55.000 --> 0:11:59.359 light follower ratio, to which I say, you're weird, especially 0:11:59.360 --> 0:12:01.480 if you're concerned about the ratio and you don't get 0:12:01.520 --> 0:12:02.880 paid to be on the internet. 0:12:03.760 --> 0:12:04.800 Extra layer of weird. 0:12:04.880 --> 0:12:05.560 What's wrong with you? 0:12:06.080 --> 0:12:10.800 It's insecurity and I totally understand. Explain it well, social 0:12:10.840 --> 0:12:15.000 media is life and oh sorry, yeah, I did hear that. Okay, 0:12:15.120 --> 0:12:20.400 my gut, my gut saying follow your friends, because. 0:12:20.080 --> 0:12:21.240 What's the insecurity bit? 0:12:21.760 --> 0:12:24.840 Like people don't want to people some people are funny about, 0:12:24.880 --> 0:12:27.719 like following more people than follow them. 0:12:28.640 --> 0:12:29.960 Reason, what are the reasons? 0:12:30.280 --> 0:12:39.199 King, bullying, ha past trauma, insecurity, class a class insecurity, 0:12:39.480 --> 0:12:43.200 status insecurity, keeping up with the Joneses? Just a plethora, 0:12:43.640 --> 0:12:48.480 a plethora of issues. I will say, if you don't 0:12:48.679 --> 0:12:51.520 like your friend's posts, continue to follow them, but mute 0:12:51.520 --> 0:12:54.720 them because keeping the peace is better than politics. 0:12:58.400 --> 0:13:05.880 This is keeping the peace is better than politics. 0:13:07.200 --> 0:13:10.480 Do you want to elaborate swiss on them, just like 0:13:11.120 --> 0:13:13.320 I know what people think, like I feel like I 0:13:13.360 --> 0:13:16.520 know what you're gonna say about Hell. I know you're 0:13:16.520 --> 0:13:21.160 gonna love that one. You're like, friendship is more important 0:13:21.160 --> 0:13:26.199 than likes. This savement's hard. 0:13:26.800 --> 0:13:36.360 Listen, my mate, I want to listen to Look, I 0:13:36.400 --> 0:13:39.920 don't understand what you're saying. I'm gonna be gonna be real, 0:13:40.960 --> 0:13:43.040 but I will meet you as if I do, okay 0:13:43.120 --> 0:13:50.880 and say that you should follow your friends, because the 0:13:50.960 --> 0:13:55.120 whole impetus, the whole reason why social media exists is 0:13:55.120 --> 0:13:57.960 so you can have another avenue to connect with your community. 0:13:58.240 --> 0:14:00.000 So if you're not using it to follow your friends 0:14:00.200 --> 0:14:02.880 and to build connections, then like, what are you using 0:14:02.920 --> 0:14:07.200 it for? See riddle me that flex And now let's 0:14:07.200 --> 0:14:08.800 go through the rules of what you need to do 0:14:08.880 --> 0:14:11.280 when you have a falling out with a friend. Ouch 0:14:11.559 --> 0:14:12.680 Number one, play falling. 0:14:12.440 --> 0:14:14.880 Out with friends. Really nothing quite hits like that is 0:14:14.920 --> 0:14:17.960 what it is, first and foremost. It's a very obvious one. 0:14:17.840 --> 0:14:19.840 Three two one Mute. 0:14:20.320 --> 0:14:23.040 I know what you're thinking. I want to unfollow straight away, 0:14:23.120 --> 0:14:25.240 just to dig the knife in and twist it around. 0:14:25.480 --> 0:14:28.200 But let's be real. Friendships come in seasons and someone 0:14:28.200 --> 0:14:29.600 could be right around the corner, and you know what 0:14:29.600 --> 0:14:31.280 I don't want to do in summer, have to go 0:14:31.320 --> 0:14:33.000 back in and do the follow. 0:14:33.280 --> 0:14:36.760 It's never worth it. I've been through maybe two or 0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:40.760 three friendship like not break ups with like year periods 0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:45.320 or actual romantic relationship breakups where you do the unfollow 0:14:45.800 --> 0:14:49.200 as a statement. It's very clear statement. Right. It's saying 0:14:49.400 --> 0:14:55.400 I'm cutting you out of my life virtually, emotionally, physically, spiritually. 0:14:55.640 --> 0:14:57.120 And what you tend to forget is that there's a 0:14:57.120 --> 0:14:59.320 part of you. I would say somewhere here in the 0:14:59.400 --> 0:15:01.960 chest that's no. And you need to start making decisions 0:15:01.960 --> 0:15:04.000 for future you, because future you want to check back. 0:15:04.200 --> 0:15:06.280 I'm not saying hate squirrel. I'm not saying that, but 0:15:06.360 --> 0:15:09.280 I just feel like sometimes you close the gate on 0:15:09.320 --> 0:15:12.200 yourself and edsaly that gate slightly ajar for future entry. 0:15:12.360 --> 0:15:15.720 Yeah, but not in a toxic way. Oh, obvi, OBV. 0:15:16.040 --> 0:15:18.880 I will say I believe everything. Actually no, I don't. 0:15:19.320 --> 0:15:22.600 I would likely believe everything. I'd like to believe that 0:15:22.640 --> 0:15:26.600 things can be mended. If both hearts are willing, you 0:15:26.640 --> 0:15:29.000 can get over anything. Don't know if I believe it, 0:15:29.040 --> 0:15:30.640 but let's put it out there. So what I would 0:15:30.680 --> 0:15:33.320 do if you're ready to re engage is start very 0:15:33.320 --> 0:15:36.320 small and go in knowing that they do not have 0:15:36.400 --> 0:15:39.840 to engage, So go in with no expectations. Start with 0:15:39.880 --> 0:15:40.320 the likes. 0:15:40.360 --> 0:15:43.400 O you want to start repairing the relationship, Okay, you 0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:45.800 have to repair without your ego. You think you've got 0:15:45.840 --> 0:15:49.200 to repair from social first. That feels like insane behavior. 0:15:49.360 --> 0:15:51.760 If you had a friendship falling out, don't send me alike. 0:15:52.360 --> 0:15:52.760 I don't know. 0:15:52.840 --> 0:15:54.880 I think sometimes you really need to wade into the 0:15:54.920 --> 0:15:58.120 waters very slowly. It's one approach. But if you're going 0:15:58.160 --> 0:16:01.680 to do that approach, go with out prejudice. Start with 0:16:01.720 --> 0:16:04.080 the likes. Start with a little watch on the story. 0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:05.760 I think the watch is a real hard one. I've 0:16:05.760 --> 0:16:08.080 gone off the watches on. You know, when it's in 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:10.080 tricky times, in trying times. 0:16:11.000 --> 0:16:12.920 I'm gonna have to disagree. And I hate to do 0:16:12.960 --> 0:16:15.240 this because we should be a united front. Kay to 0:16:15.320 --> 0:16:18.440 give me the hand. When you've first done the friendship breakdown, 0:16:18.600 --> 0:16:20.200 like when it's fresh enough that you're like, I can't 0:16:20.200 --> 0:16:22.400 even see this person on the internet. Please do not 0:16:22.400 --> 0:16:24.560 get into the trap of continuing to dole out likes. 0:16:24.560 --> 0:16:27.280 And comments like things are good to throw others off 0:16:27.280 --> 0:16:29.640 the scent. I've had a few situations where I'm like, hmmm, 0:16:29.760 --> 0:16:31.080 I don't want to make it obvious that I'm not 0:16:31.120 --> 0:16:33.880 friends with this person anymore, so I'll keep on participating 0:16:33.920 --> 0:16:36.160 in and engaging in their content so people don't know. 0:16:36.520 --> 0:16:39.120 It doesn't work. There are real detectives on the internet, 0:16:39.240 --> 0:16:41.720 like they can see through the illusion of you faking 0:16:41.720 --> 0:16:44.480 a comment being like, hey baby, look amazing. Enough of that. Also, 0:16:44.480 --> 0:16:46.880 you confuse yourself because you're like, am I the fake 0:16:46.920 --> 0:16:49.080 one in this situation? Because I'm the one with a 0:16:49.120 --> 0:16:51.080 problem and I'm trying to signal that I don't have 0:16:51.120 --> 0:16:51.600 a problem. 0:16:51.640 --> 0:16:54.640 And for who Yeah, you're listening to flex and Frooms 0:16:54.840 --> 0:16:57.600 on kit We are talking about how to correctly slide 0:16:57.640 --> 0:17:01.000 into a DM. This is a very important art. It's 0:17:01.040 --> 0:17:03.280 a lifestyle and not everyone's cut out for it, but 0:17:03.320 --> 0:17:05.080 we are here to help you out and tell you 0:17:05.080 --> 0:17:08.399 how to do it correctly. I have my first rule, please, 0:17:08.720 --> 0:17:11.639 which is you started following someone there's a vibe, perhaps 0:17:11.640 --> 0:17:14.200 you slept together, or perhaps you've just met. Would never 0:17:14.240 --> 0:17:17.639 be bused. We start following each other something that I 0:17:17.640 --> 0:17:22.000 think you shouldn't do is shift your stories to impress 0:17:22.000 --> 0:17:23.880 them in the hope that they will DM slide. We've 0:17:23.880 --> 0:17:24.320 all been. 0:17:26.040 --> 0:17:29.520 So was that a content adjustment? A content adjustment on 0:17:29.600 --> 0:17:31.440 ale of three? No? 0:17:31.440 --> 0:17:34.199 No, I start, I you know, I have a dalliance 0:17:34.240 --> 0:17:35.320 with an intellectual man? 0:17:35.880 --> 0:17:44.800 No Socrates? What is an identity? Goose? You would I 0:17:44.880 --> 0:17:47.640 start starts asking me for books? How would you read? 0:17:47.760 --> 0:17:48.360 Just generally? 0:17:48.760 --> 0:17:51.359 I just like Rea, share your philosophical things, but like 0:17:51.480 --> 0:17:54.120 wide out your name and zoom in a little bit. 0:17:54.440 --> 0:17:58.239 Yeah, that's one of my anti rules. How does one 0:17:58.240 --> 0:17:59.000 avoid doing that? 0:17:59.160 --> 0:18:01.200 Just say true to yourself, be like. 0:18:02.680 --> 0:18:04.840 You're scaring everyone for me, don't say that. 0:18:05.200 --> 0:18:07.000 But it's like, there have been times in my life 0:18:07.040 --> 0:18:08.960 where like I'm a real trick style on the Yeah, 0:18:09.000 --> 0:18:11.720 you're a goofy girl, and I'm out here being respectable. 0:18:11.840 --> 0:18:12.880 Try not to be too ugly. 0:18:13.040 --> 0:18:14.600 Can we get a timeline of when you've done this? 0:18:14.800 --> 0:18:16.600 Or twenty nineteen? I was a big about that life. 0:18:16.880 --> 0:18:19.800 Oh fee too many respectable people in the DMS, and 0:18:19.840 --> 0:18:22.400 I thought I'm twenty five. Sorry, I was twenty two, 0:18:23.240 --> 0:18:26.040 and I just had to maintain some poise which doesn't 0:18:26.040 --> 0:18:26.640 come naturally. 0:18:26.760 --> 0:18:30.800 Okay, but you try anyway. Okay. The one thing I 0:18:30.840 --> 0:18:33.399 can say is that the rules of regular life still apply, 0:18:33.520 --> 0:18:36.359 and so zero to one hundred is a bold approach. 0:18:37.040 --> 0:18:39.320 It can be commended in theory, but I think in 0:18:39.359 --> 0:18:42.000 practice it can't be trusted. So when someone goes straight 0:18:42.040 --> 0:18:45.439 for the DM straight proposition, I think you've done this 0:18:45.480 --> 0:18:48.560 far too many times. I'm but a notch on one's 0:18:48.600 --> 0:18:51.400 bed post. You're little too smooth that there's I feel 0:18:51.440 --> 0:18:53.119 like I could be anyone. You're just trying it on 0:18:53.160 --> 0:18:56.080 for size. So I think you need to first make 0:18:56.119 --> 0:18:58.639 the good first impression. However, you want to determine what 0:18:58.680 --> 0:19:01.879