1
00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:05,400
Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast.

2
00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:08,960
Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just

3
00:00:09,119 --> 00:00:10,000
Speaker 2: wants answers.

4
00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:12,800
Speaker 3: Now, I think some people want parenting to be efficient,

5
00:00:13,039 --> 00:00:15,400
Speaker 3: or they figure if you do it right, it makes

6
00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:18,040
Speaker 3: very little demands on your schedule. I think that's a

7
00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:19,439
Speaker 3: pretty serious mistake.

8
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:23,120
Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mum

9
00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:23,640
Speaker 1: and dad.

10
00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:26,759
Speaker 4: Well on this Father's Day week, or a week of

11
00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:30,200
Speaker 4: preparing for Father's Day, at least, we are so excited

12
00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:32,600
Speaker 4: for the conversation we're having today. My name is doctor

13
00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:34,800
Speaker 4: Justin Colson. I'm the author of six books about raising

14
00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:37,240
Speaker 4: happy families. Kylie, my wife, mum to our six kids,

15
00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:40,720
Speaker 4: is here with me as we prepare for a conversation

16
00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:44,239
Speaker 4: that I'm surprised that we've never done this before, Kylie,

17
00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:45,680
Speaker 4: but gee, I'm excited for it.

18
00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:49,400
Speaker 2: I don't have too many favorite people, but if I

19
00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:53,360
Speaker 2: was going to put a list together, Wally Goddard would

20
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:57,600
Speaker 2: be at the top of my list. Such a special guest,

21
00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:59,240
Speaker 2: and I'm so excited that we're getting to talk to

22
00:00:59,320 --> 00:00:59,840
Speaker 2: him today.

23
00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:02,480
Speaker 4: We need to say Professor H. Wallace Godard. That's the

24
00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:05,000
Speaker 4: official title. Wally is now a retired That's why.

25
00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:06,600
Speaker 2: He's my favorite because I don't have to call him that.

26
00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:08,560
Speaker 1: Professor H.

27
00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:13,319
Speaker 4: Wallas Goddard is a former professor of Family Life Development

28
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,040
Speaker 4: from the University of Arkansas.

29
00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:16,080
Speaker 1: He worked with Stephen R.

30
00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:19,320
Speaker 4: Covey on The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families, which

31
00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:20,639
Speaker 4: was like a follow under.

32
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,000
Speaker 1: The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.

33
00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:29,800
Speaker 4: Has been instrumental in shaping my life. I think when

34
00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:31,240
Speaker 4: I was in my late twenties and we had the

35
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,280
Speaker 4: big blow up and I decided to leave my radio

36
00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,480
Speaker 4: career and try to be a better dad, it was

37
00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:39,160
Speaker 4: actually because I was reading some of Wally's parenting guidance

38
00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:41,679
Speaker 4: and advice. This is back in the late nineties early

39
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:43,800
Speaker 4: two thousands. I was reading his stuff on the Internet,

40
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:48,000
Speaker 4: and I was just so taken by his compassion, his

41
00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:51,880
Speaker 4: alternate view of parenting. And it happened to marry him

42
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:55,080
Speaker 4: beautifully with somebody who couldn't be more different as a

43
00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:57,760
Speaker 4: human in terms of their politics, in terms of their

44
00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:00,760
Speaker 4: view on the world, Alfie Kohne. These two people, coming

45
00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:05,480
Speaker 4: from completely different ends of the spectrum, have been so

46
00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:08,440
Speaker 4: fundamental in shaping.

47
00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:09,280
Speaker 1: The way that I lived my life.

48
00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:11,160
Speaker 4: And we've got him with us right now, chuckling in

49
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,200
Speaker 4: the background as we talk about how amazing he is.

50
00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:16,080
Speaker 1: Hello, Wally, Hey, it's good to be with you.

51
00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:18,440
Speaker 3: It's always a delay to be with you.

52
00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:20,760
Speaker 4: In fact, now we should also mention one reason that

53
00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:23,959
Speaker 4: I think that Wally's writing has been so foundational in

54
00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:27,400
Speaker 4: fact in impacting the way that we do things, in

55
00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:29,440
Speaker 4: the way that I do things, is we share a

56
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:32,560
Speaker 4: common faith, and so much of what Wally has written,

57
00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:34,960
Speaker 4: while there are some for secular audiences, also has a

58
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:38,320
Speaker 4: religious slant to it, and I think that that's really

59
00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,760
Speaker 4: what grabbed me so Wally a question that I've actually

60
00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,640
Speaker 4: never thought to ask, And this question literally popped into

61
00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:46,280
Speaker 4: my head this morning as we were preparing for our

62
00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:49,239
Speaker 4: conversation with you. You used to be a high school

63
00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:53,440
Speaker 4: teacher and then you did a complete backflip and went

64
00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:55,200
Speaker 4: back to school as a mature adult.

65
00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:58,680
Speaker 1: Why did you become a parenting expert? How did this happen?

66
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:01,800
Speaker 1: I've never asked, Well, you know, I.

67
00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:04,960
Speaker 3: Taught physics and math in high school for years, along

68
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:08,200
Speaker 3: with some other subjects like gifted and talented and et cetera.

69
00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:12,600
Speaker 3: But what I found as our children were growing, I

70
00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:15,160
Speaker 3: really had a yearning to do it right.

71
00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:16,160
Speaker 1: I wanted to do it right.

72
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:18,359
Speaker 3: I didn't want to do it poorly. I didn't want

73
00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:22,360
Speaker 3: to feel stupid every day. And I thought, okay, so

74
00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:24,240
Speaker 3: why did I read some things? So I read some

75
00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:27,240
Speaker 3: things and found there was still more. I took a

76
00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:32,080
Speaker 3: class from Utah State University and found that, Wow, there's

77
00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:37,240
Speaker 3: a whole world out there of insight. So we sold

78
00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:41,480
Speaker 3: our house, we quit teaching, and went to Utah State

79
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:44,000
Speaker 3: University and got a PhD in Family and Human development.

80
00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:48,440
Speaker 3: And Wow, what new vistas it has opened up for us.

81
00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:50,760
Speaker 4: Maybe that's why we get on so well, because I

82
00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:54,120
Speaker 4: feel like I'm listening to ask story what I did

83
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,240
Speaker 4: for those who knew to the podcast, that's kind of

84
00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:58,320
Speaker 4: our story. I gave up a radio career, went back

85
00:03:58,320 --> 00:03:59,560
Speaker 4: to school, started all over again.

86
00:03:59,560 --> 00:03:59,800
Speaker 3: A night.

87
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,920
Speaker 1: Half years later, I had a PhD in psychology.

88
00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:04,920
Speaker 3: Isn't it amazing how it opens up your mind to

89
00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:06,800
Speaker 3: things you never thought about. You didn't even know to

90
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,960
Speaker 3: ask the questions before, and so now you can think

91
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,680
Speaker 3: in entirely different ways. Yeah.

92
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:14,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, all because we don't want to feel dumb as dads.

93
00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:16,520
Speaker 1: We wanted to get it right.

94
00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:22,200
Speaker 2: Yes, So, Wally, you're a grandfather. Now you have three children,

95
00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:25,760
Speaker 2: all growing up living their own lives. But your family

96
00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:29,080
Speaker 2: life was a little bit more complicated than just three kids.

97
00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:32,360
Speaker 2: You opened your home up to many children over the years.

98
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:35,480
Speaker 2: Can you give us a little background into family life

99
00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:35,680
Speaker 2: for you?

100
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:41,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh boy, we learned so much from each set

101
00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:44,719
Speaker 3: of experiences from our children. We learned so much joy.

102
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:48,440
Speaker 3: We just found it amazing every day to see how

103
00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:50,280
Speaker 3: our children were going, and of course we were challenged

104
00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:53,360
Speaker 3: by them. But we had over the years about twenty

105
00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:58,279
Speaker 3: different foster children, and wow, talk about eye opening and

106
00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:00,880
Speaker 3: a tot of so much humility because as we realized

107
00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:07,000
Speaker 3: that our glib idea that taking these runaway, angry teenagers

108
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:10,680
Speaker 3: and treating them kindly and providing a predictable environment would

109
00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:15,800
Speaker 3: somehow change things quickly and dramatically was just naive. It

110
00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:20,360
Speaker 3: was silly, and it takes years to build up that

111
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:23,680
Speaker 3: pain and it takes years to change the way they

112
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:28,080
Speaker 3: see the world. So that experience was very formative for us. Plus,

113
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:33,120
Speaker 3: we had we had a lot of miscarriages, twenty plus miscarriages,

114
00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:35,600
Speaker 3: and that was one of the reasons we started having

115
00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:38,920
Speaker 3: foster children, was because we wanted to be We wanted

116
00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:41,880
Speaker 3: our home to be busy with growth and laughter and learning.

117
00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,560
Speaker 3: So we had foster children when we weren't able to

118
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:48,320
Speaker 3: have children early on in our marriage.

119
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:52,720
Speaker 2: I wish Nancy was here with us right now she is.

120
00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:55,800
Speaker 2: I'm gonna cry because I just loved that woman so much.

121
00:05:55,880 --> 00:06:00,800
Speaker 2: And to listen to your story and to recognize the

122
00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:03,960
Speaker 2: heartache that was involved in the process of you opening

123
00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:07,520
Speaker 2: up your home and being the safe place for these

124
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:12,040
Speaker 2: troubled children just melts my heart. One of the things

125
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:15,400
Speaker 2: that really has stood out to Justin and I over

126
00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,560
Speaker 2: the years as we've associated with the two of you

127
00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:21,279
Speaker 2: is just the immense joy that you find in life

128
00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:25,760
Speaker 2: and specifically in your role as parents. And I'm wondering

129
00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:30,080
Speaker 2: if you can share with us maybe a few things

130
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:32,760
Speaker 2: that you learned through that process.

131
00:06:33,839 --> 00:06:38,280
Speaker 3: Oh boy, Yeah, a few things we learned. I mean,

132
00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:41,719
Speaker 3: one was that you have to plan to invest time,

133
00:06:41,839 --> 00:06:45,080
Speaker 3: a lot of time. I think some people want parenting

134
00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:48,600
Speaker 3: to be efficient or they figure if you do it right,

135
00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:52,839
Speaker 3: it makes very little demands on your schedule. I think

136
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:59,599
Speaker 3: that's a pretty serious mistake. Yes, I think of for instance,

137
00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:02,520
Speaker 3: when in the evening after teaching all day long, I'd

138
00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:05,719
Speaker 3: be sitting reading and I was just really absorbed in

139
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,400
Speaker 3: when I was reading and our little boy Andy would

140
00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:10,840
Speaker 3: come up and say, Dad, can we take a walk

141
00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:12,960
Speaker 3: around the block? And I say, sure, as soon as

142
00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:18,480
Speaker 3: I just finish this chapter. And after a few times,

143
00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:23,200
Speaker 3: Andy said, d you say that every time, and Wow,

144
00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:27,000
Speaker 3: it is just painful to face yourself and realize that

145
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:31,600
Speaker 3: you've been lying to yourself into your son, saying, essentially,

146
00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:33,440
Speaker 3: I really want to be a good dad. I want

147
00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:36,160
Speaker 3: you to feel like I'm really present, But boy, I shure,

148
00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:39,520
Speaker 3: don't want to waste any time unless it's absolutely necessary.

149
00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:43,080
Speaker 3: And that's the wrong way of thinking about it. When

150
00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:45,960
Speaker 3: you inter parenting, you ought to say, this is one

151
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,120
Speaker 3: of the most important things I'll ever do. It'll have

152
00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:52,080
Speaker 3: more impact, It'll leave a more important legacy than anything

153
00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:55,400
Speaker 3: else I will do. And I intend to be present.

154
00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:59,880
Speaker 3: I intend to invest myself, heart and soul into this job.

155
00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:02,680
Speaker 3: And so I can drop my book and take a

156
00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:05,840
Speaker 3: walk around the block with Andy and not be impatient

157
00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:07,720
Speaker 3: trying to get around the block and get back to

158
00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:12,920
Speaker 3: my book, but stop and throw rocks and pick up

159
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:17,480
Speaker 3: sticks and enjoy life with that little boy who's transformed

160
00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:18,440
Speaker 3: our lives.

161
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:24,440
Speaker 4: Wally, I was sitting here and I'm feeling indicted in

162
00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:27,200
Speaker 4: the most beautiful way. I remember one time I did

163
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,960
Speaker 4: a parenting workshop and someone at the end of it said,

164
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,400
Speaker 4: I've never felt so good being made to feel so bad,

165
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:34,400
Speaker 4: And I'm kind of feeling that myself right now.

166
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:34,960
Speaker 1: I'm looking at her.

167
00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:39,200
Speaker 4: She's sitting across the table weeping as we listen to

168
00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:44,760
Speaker 4: this profound and yet so simple an insight we have.

169
00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:47,760
Speaker 4: Oh gosh, we could listen to you share stories like

170
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:49,439
Speaker 4: this all day, and I think this is why we

171
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:52,400
Speaker 4: love you so much. After the break, we're going to

172
00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:54,600
Speaker 4: ask you a few more questions about why this matters

173
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:57,760
Speaker 4: so much, especially in the laps father's day as a dad,

174
00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,880
Speaker 4: but more generally, just for pair.

175
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,559
Speaker 3: It's the Happy Family's podcast for.

176
00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:04,600
Speaker 1: A happier family.

177
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:08,600
Speaker 2: Try a Happy Families membership, because a happy family doesn't

178
00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:09,160
Speaker 2: just happen.

179
00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:12,520
Speaker 4: Details at happy families dot com dot au.

180
00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:16,000
Speaker 2: It's the Happy Families Podcast, the podcast for the time

181
00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:18,640
Speaker 2: poor parent who just wants answers now, and today we

182
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:23,000
Speaker 2: have one of our most favorite human beings of all time.

183
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:27,680
Speaker 2: We're talking to Waligoddard, Professor H. Wallace Godard for those

184
00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,120
Speaker 2: of you who aren't so lucky to call him Wally.

185
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,839
Speaker 2: But I'm wondering before we get back to Wally, Justin,

186
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:38,560
Speaker 2: can you tell me why Wally is so important to you?

187
00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:39,680
Speaker 1: Oh?

188
00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:45,280
Speaker 4: Wow, Yeah, it's really really easy. So when we had Chanel,

189
00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:48,640
Speaker 4: our eldest, and she was two or three, I had

190
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:51,599
Speaker 4: gone from being the father who knows exactly how to

191
00:09:51,679 --> 00:09:54,520
Speaker 4: raise other people's kids to having my own and discovering

192
00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:56,640
Speaker 4: that that little baby had turned into a toddler. And

193
00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:59,440
Speaker 4: I had no idea what to do. And I was

194
00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:02,640
Speaker 4: trying all the harsh, punitive parenting, like the stuff that

195
00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:04,920
Speaker 4: most of the parenting programs that are out there talk about,

196
00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,319
Speaker 4: the one two to three magic sort of stuff, the

197
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:09,400
Speaker 4: triple P parenting, the praise, the positive and then used

198
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:09,920
Speaker 4: time out.

199
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:12,400
Speaker 1: And I was getting cranky and it just.

200
00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:14,600
Speaker 4: Was not working, and I was desperately trying to find

201
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:18,000
Speaker 4: something else, and I stumbled upon an article written by

202
00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:21,200
Speaker 4: some guy over in Arkansas in the United States. I'm like,

203
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:23,520
Speaker 4: this is nice. I like this, it feels good. It

204
00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:29,120
Speaker 4: resonated with my soul and I started reading everything that

205
00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:31,000
Speaker 4: he wrote. And he's one of the central reasons that

206
00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:33,360
Speaker 4: I left my radio career and went back to school

207
00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:34,800
Speaker 4: so I could be a better dad, because I actually,

208
00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:37,480
Speaker 4: I'm going.

209
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:37,960
Speaker 1: To get wheepy.

210
00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,959
Speaker 4: I wanted to be as good as him. I wanted

211
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,559
Speaker 4: to be able to do as a dad the things

212
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:47,920
Speaker 4: that he obviously did perfectly because he wrote about them

213
00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:51,480
Speaker 4: so well. And so I quit my career and I

214
00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:54,640
Speaker 4: went back. And what's really interesting about this is, in

215
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:56,920
Speaker 4: about our second year of me being a full time

216
00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:01,800
Speaker 4: student with three kids and a mortgage and all the

217
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:04,359
Speaker 4: stress and all the pressure that we were under, Whally.

218
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:06,240
Speaker 1: Was invited to come to Australia.

219
00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:10,080
Speaker 4: To participate in an expo on families. I think it

220
00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:12,920
Speaker 4: was in Brisbane. It was called Family Expo. And I

221
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,560
Speaker 4: contacted the organizers and I said, I love this guy.

222
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:16,360
Speaker 1: He's amazing.

223
00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:18,839
Speaker 4: I would really love it if I could somehow meet

224
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:22,160
Speaker 4: him backstage after he's given his plenary keynote session or

225
00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:24,000
Speaker 4: something like that, like if I could just say hello

226
00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:24,600
Speaker 4: and tell him what.

227
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:25,600
Speaker 1: An influence he's been.

228
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:29,240
Speaker 4: And the organizer said, well, justin we can probably do

229
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:31,400
Speaker 4: better than that. How would you and your wife Kylie

230
00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:35,120
Speaker 4: liked to be Wally's chaperone for a day and you

231
00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:37,480
Speaker 4: can spend time with him and his wife Nancy, and

232
00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:39,600
Speaker 4: you can take them wherever you want up and down

233
00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:41,800
Speaker 4: the Gold Coast, Sunshine Coast, anywhere in Brisbane and spend

234
00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:45,840
Speaker 4: the day with them. And I was like, yes, and

235
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,520
Speaker 4: that's what we got to do. You and I were

236
00:11:47,559 --> 00:11:49,680
Speaker 4: introduced to them. We took them the Pimpa Mars Strawberry

237
00:11:49,679 --> 00:11:51,080
Speaker 4: Farm and had ice creams. We went down to the

238
00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:53,520
Speaker 4: Gold Coast and showed them some of the beautiful scenery

239
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:55,560
Speaker 4: and then we got to spend that day with them

240
00:11:55,559 --> 00:11:58,200
Speaker 4: at the conference. And we even because they're from America,

241
00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:00,480
Speaker 4: they didn't know what pavlova was, so we got to

242
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:03,000
Speaker 4: hang out of the hotel room and share some pavlover

243
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:05,400
Speaker 4: with them. That night, they invited us back to the

244
00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:08,000
Speaker 4: hotel room and we got to do that. And I

245
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:11,760
Speaker 4: think that to answer your question succinctly, because obviously I

246
00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:17,040
Speaker 4: don't know how to speak briefly kindness, wisdom and incredible

247
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:21,120
Speaker 4: example such humility, and I mean, Wally and Nancy just

248
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:24,040
Speaker 4: embraced us and said, we love you guys, come and

249
00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:26,120
Speaker 4: spend time with us. I've written a book at his

250
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:29,680
Speaker 4: house over in Utah because I couldn't get it written.

251
00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:31,559
Speaker 1: Here because there's too many kids and too many demands

252
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:34,600
Speaker 1: on me. I could just keep on going on and on.

253
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:36,640
Speaker 4: But that's why, and I think that's why it's great

254
00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:39,560
Speaker 4: to have him in this Father's Day week as we

255
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:44,240
Speaker 4: reflect on what's great about father figures, mentors and dads.

256
00:12:44,559 --> 00:12:47,320
Speaker 2: I don't know whether you remember this, Wally, but one

257
00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:51,960
Speaker 2: of my first memories of that trip was you had

258
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:57,000
Speaker 2: given your workshop in the morning, and come break time,

259
00:12:57,200 --> 00:13:01,520
Speaker 2: all of the workshop participate were out in the foyer

260
00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:03,720
Speaker 2: area and they were going to talk to all of

261
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,720
Speaker 2: those speakers who had been speaking at the same time.

262
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,760
Speaker 1: A big deal was a big deal, yes.

263
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:12,600
Speaker 2: And you had your books to sell. And at that

264
00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:14,800
Speaker 2: point in time, we had a six month old baby

265
00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:18,480
Speaker 2: and here was h Wallace Godard and that's how we

266
00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:22,360
Speaker 2: knew him. At that point, you had my six month

267
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:25,560
Speaker 2: old baby in a cardboard box and you were pushing

268
00:13:25,559 --> 00:13:27,439
Speaker 2: her around on the ground like she was in a

269
00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:31,040
Speaker 2: chutu train. And I've just what blew me away in

270
00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:35,360
Speaker 2: that moment is not knowing you personally the way we

271
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:39,160
Speaker 2: now know you. Was seeing this person who, in my

272
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:42,679
Speaker 2: mind was so important and there were so many other

273
00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:48,440
Speaker 2: important people who wanted your time, but you gave your

274
00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:52,120
Speaker 2: attention was on a little six month old who today

275
00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:56,320
Speaker 2: doesn't even remember that experience, but we do.

276
00:13:56,520 --> 00:14:00,280
Speaker 3: We because I was so much fun to to be

277
00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:04,400
Speaker 3: with someone who's enjoying life and enjoy it, embraced it

278
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:06,439
Speaker 3: in its fullest but kindly.

279
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:09,800
Speaker 4: That experience, I think, maybe even better than everything that

280
00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:13,480
Speaker 4: I said, encapsulates why why I wanted to talk to

281
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,440
Speaker 4: Wali this week, and why we wanted to be able

282
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:20,240
Speaker 4: to share this particular podcast episode with everybody, Because Wally

283
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:24,640
Speaker 4: has a heart for sharing and kindness, and frankly whal

284
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:26,760
Speaker 4: He's not that interested in the important people in the room.

285
00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:28,640
Speaker 1: He's interested in people who.

286
00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:30,640
Speaker 4: Love their kids and want to learn and grow, and

287
00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:34,359
Speaker 4: he's actually interested in their kids and seeing them.

288
00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:36,320
Speaker 1: Light up with delight and smiles.

289
00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:40,120
Speaker 2: All Over the years, as we have continued to build

290
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:42,360
Speaker 2: the relationship that we now have with Willy and Nancy,

291
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:46,600
Speaker 2: I often hear Wally, I hear your voice and Justin's

292
00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:50,400
Speaker 2: larynx and things come out of his mouth, and I

293
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:55,440
Speaker 2: just know that it is your wisdom and your influence

294
00:14:55,520 --> 00:15:00,880
Speaker 2: that has completely and utterly helped to change Justin's heart

295
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:02,920
Speaker 2: and mold him into the dad that he is today.

296
00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:07,200
Speaker 2: And we're so delighted to be able to celebrate I

297
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,720
Speaker 2: guess our Father's Day, because Father's Day doesn't happen in

298
00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:14,000
Speaker 2: September for you guys in America. But to celebrate our

299
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:17,080
Speaker 2: Father's Day and to acknowledge the influence that you've had

300
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:20,080
Speaker 2: on Justin in his role as a dad.

301
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:22,120
Speaker 3: Well, I I'd sure be glad if we got to

302
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:24,960
Speaker 3: spend more time together. Would have loved being with you

303
00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:27,760
Speaker 3: and your family. And I remember not only that you

304
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:30,440
Speaker 3: brought Pavlova to us in our hotel room, but we

305
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:32,520
Speaker 3: got to play with your kids and it was great fun.

306
00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:36,240
Speaker 2: We will get back there, we promise, so Willie in

307
00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:39,480
Speaker 2: closing up, because we could spend all day talking to you.

308
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:43,000
Speaker 2: But ye, I feel like we haven't even started, knowing

309
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,880
Speaker 2: that we're the podcast with the time poor parent who

310
00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:47,360
Speaker 2: just wants answers. Now, I'm wondering if you can impart

311
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,560
Speaker 2: two or three bits of wisdom. I know this is

312
00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:51,560
Speaker 2: going to be really hard for you to choose two

313
00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:54,080
Speaker 2: or three, but if you could share two or three

314
00:15:54,160 --> 00:16:00,760
Speaker 2: pieces of wisdom insight that you think have been instrumental

315
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:03,720
Speaker 2: in helping to create your own happy family.

316
00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,160
Speaker 4: Bearing in mind that we heard one just before the

317
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:09,600
Speaker 4: break that was just hot, stoppingly good.

318
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,880
Speaker 2: I'm stealing another tool. Three is that okay?

319
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:12,280
Speaker 1: I think so?

320
00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:19,680
Speaker 3: Another would be to teach compassion by living compassion. And

321
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:23,640
Speaker 3: often we want to teach compassion through a lecture, and

322
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:27,360
Speaker 3: it doesn't ring true when we do that. And I

323
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:31,000
Speaker 3: think of the example of a dad who was frustrated

324
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,720
Speaker 3: with his little boy who was playing with legos and

325
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,640
Speaker 3: didn't want to go to bed, and the dad kept saying, no,

326
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,640
Speaker 3: it's almost time, you got to go. You got to

327
00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:42,480
Speaker 3: get your sleep, And I think about how the dad

328
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:45,560
Speaker 3: will only got mad and grabbed the boy and dragged

329
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,160
Speaker 3: him to his room and put him to bed angrily.

330
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:54,239
Speaker 3: What if what if dad talk compassion by living in compassion?

331
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:56,560
Speaker 3: What if he knelt by his son and says, show

332
00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:59,920
Speaker 3: me what's your building? Tell me about it? How far?

333
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,960
Speaker 3: How long is it? I mean, what's your next step? Wow?

334
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:05,560
Speaker 3: Is this a good stopping place? Or do you need

335
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:09,160
Speaker 3: two more minutes to finish what you're doing? And then

336
00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:11,840
Speaker 3: let you and me go to bed and let's tell

337
00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:15,680
Speaker 3: us each other stories as I tuck you in. I mean,

338
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:22,400
Speaker 3: the way children learn compassion is by experiencing it, so

339
00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:25,160
Speaker 3: that that would be a big one in my view.

340
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:30,480
Speaker 3: And another one is to enjoy life together. One of

341
00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:35,159
Speaker 3: our daughter ones said to me, Dad, joy is a

342
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:41,560
Speaker 3: good thing, but you've just taken it too far life.

343
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:47,320
Speaker 3: And you know, somehow we've learned to manage some of

344
00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:51,680
Speaker 3: the anxiety and fear and tiredness, and we've tried to

345
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:55,040
Speaker 3: teach ourselves to really focus on on the joy, the goodness,

346
00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:59,359
Speaker 3: that happy, the connection, and by doing that we have

347
00:18:00,119 --> 00:18:03,719
Speaker 3: filled our lives with a level of happiness that's grand.

348
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:07,240
Speaker 3: So enjoying life together with our children, you're taking their

349
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:09,040
Speaker 3: hand and going for a walk. Or when we go

350
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,600
Speaker 3: visit the grandkids, Nancy always fills a box with games

351
00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:14,960
Speaker 3: that are not any better than the games they have,

352
00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:18,639
Speaker 3: but they're new, unfamiliar to them. And she also happens

353
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:23,320
Speaker 3: to take some bubblegum. And the kids love seeing Nancy

354
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:27,680
Speaker 3: and she makes peanut butter balls with them. And anyway,

355
00:18:28,359 --> 00:18:32,960
Speaker 3: those little things say we love life and we love you,

356
00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:38,320
Speaker 3: and it makes a connection that otherwise doesn't grow. Well.

357
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:41,280
Speaker 2: Since we are celebrating Father's Day, I'm wondering if you

358
00:18:41,359 --> 00:18:43,560
Speaker 2: might tell us a few things about your dad. What

359
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:47,320
Speaker 2: are the lessons that you learned that you have taken

360
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:50,320
Speaker 2: into your fathering as a result because I'm parented.

361
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:52,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, he must be pretty good to have a son

362
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:55,399
Speaker 4: like this guy.

363
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:58,880
Speaker 3: I love that question, Thank you for asking it. I

364
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:04,520
Speaker 3: think that my dad is one of those kind, good

365
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:09,159
Speaker 3: people who always wanted to do good and do what

366
00:19:09,359 --> 00:19:14,760
Speaker 3: was right. He was also very confused by parenting because

367
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,479
Speaker 3: we were growing up and being smart alex and acting

368
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:20,639
Speaker 3: like kids and then teenagers, and I think he was

369
00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:23,600
Speaker 3: confused by it and didn't know what to do. But

370
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:27,560
Speaker 3: now from the perspective of adulthood, I see a man

371
00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:30,719
Speaker 3: who loved his kids and wanted the very best for them,

372
00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:34,760
Speaker 3: but was quite lost about how to do what he

373
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:38,159
Speaker 3: believed was right. He just, you know, in all the

374
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:42,439
Speaker 3: processes we talk about in parenting, Dad didn't know those,

375
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:45,560
Speaker 3: and he had good family, but he just didn't know

376
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:50,359
Speaker 3: the ways to get beyond the smart alecness that we

377
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:54,879
Speaker 3: brought as children. And so I think my dad, his

378
00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:58,800
Speaker 3: example of goodness and earnestness, is one reason I wanted

379
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:02,359
Speaker 3: to know more, and the perplexity I saw in his

380
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:05,880
Speaker 3: eyes was another reason I wanted to know more so

381
00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:10,560
Speaker 3: that I could do what my dad always wanted to do.

382
00:20:11,119 --> 00:20:11,320
Speaker 1: Well.

383
00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:13,679
Speaker 4: Thank you so much for spending some time with us

384
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:17,879
Speaker 4: on the Happy Families Podcast today. We appreciate you, and

385
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:22,200
Speaker 4: we appreciate the way that you live and the goodness

386
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,280
Speaker 4: that you share with everyone who comes.

387
00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:24,919
Speaker 1: In contact with you.

388
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:27,919
Speaker 4: If people wanted to find out more about you, the

389
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,920
Speaker 4: things that you've written, the way that you can help

390
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,600
Speaker 4: them to make their families happier, where would be the

391
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,080
Speaker 4: best place to send them so that they can access

392
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:38,600
Speaker 4: some of your wonderful resources.

393
00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:42,920
Speaker 3: I try to post what I'm currently working on on Facebook,

394
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:45,920
Speaker 3: so if they go to h. Wallace Goddard on Facebook

395
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:49,720
Speaker 3: or doctor Wally on Facebook, they can find what I'm

396
00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:53,679
Speaker 3: currently working on. We have a website and it's not

397
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:56,640
Speaker 3: up to date right now, so I'll recommend Facebook as

398
00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:59,160
Speaker 3: the place that's most current. Well.

399
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,320
Speaker 1: I follow you on face Book and I love it.

400
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,560
Speaker 4: A quick note for those who don't have a religious

401
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,160
Speaker 4: bone in their body, there are some religious themes there

402
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:09,800
Speaker 4: because obviously that's a central part of who you are

403
00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:12,960
Speaker 4: in the way that you bring yourself to the world. Wally,

404
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:16,560
Speaker 4: thank you so very very much for sharing what you've shared.

405
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:16,920
Speaker 1: With us today.

406
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:23,679
Speaker 4: It has lifted me again and I'm grateful for it.

407
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:25,560
Speaker 3: It's an honor to talk to you. Thank you.

408
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:28,679
Speaker 4: The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Rouland from

409
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:33,280
Speaker 4: Bridge Media, with Craig Bruce as our executive producer. We

410
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:36,600
Speaker 4: would love for you to check out Wally's site on Facebook,

411
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:38,760
Speaker 4: but we'd also encourage you if you're looking for premium

412
00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:41,600
Speaker 4: content to make your family happy. Our very best stuff

413
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,399
Speaker 4: is in our Happy Families membership. You can find all

414
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:47,320
Speaker 4: the information about that at happy families dot com dot

415
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:47,520
Speaker 4: au