Speaker 1: Now the show that everyone across the country is talking about,
Speaker 1: as they always are, it is married at First Sight.
Speaker 1: And if you were across last night's show, something went
Speaker 1: down on the couch when they were sitting across from
Speaker 1: the relationship experts. So Athena and Adrian, they are the
Speaker 1: couple that are at ground zero of a bit of
Speaker 1: controversy at the moment regarding a promo shoot that Adrian
Speaker 1: was unfortunately a bit but hurt about that he got
Speaker 1: left out of. And also it comes down to this
Speaker 1: commitment ceremony, you know when one person writes leave and
Speaker 1: the other person writes stay. So Afena, she wanted to
Speaker 1: leave the experiment and Adrian decided to stay. But we
Speaker 1: have Afena on the phone. Afena, welcome to the show.
Speaker 2: Helloi, thank you for having me.
Speaker 3: Afina. I have a question that annoys me so much
Speaker 3: about this show. Last night, you wrote at the ceremony
Speaker 3: that you wanted to leave and Adrian wrote stay. And
Speaker 3: it's like, I know, a lot of the public has
Speaker 3: been angered by the fact that you are saying, Hey,
Speaker 3: I don't want to be here anymore, and we are
Speaker 3: seeing you be forced to stay. What does that feel like?
Speaker 3: And do you actually, like, are you contractually obliged to
Speaker 3: have to stay or could you if you really really
Speaker 3: needed to get up and walk out.
Speaker 2: So even for myself that in that moment, it was
Speaker 2: really confusing because I don't watch LERGIV. I'm not watching
Speaker 2: Math prior to this, so I don't really know all
Speaker 2: the rules. But I was so sad that I was
Speaker 2: going home, Like I'd already contacted my family and saying
Speaker 2: like tonight, you know, I'm we're coming home tomorrow. I'd
Speaker 2: already kind of laid the foundation to go back to work.
Speaker 2: I'd contacted work saying I'll be back, you know, xbosa,
Speaker 2: to go back to work, Like I thought there was
Speaker 2: no way that we could be staying at this point
Speaker 2: in time, like we're both done, very evidently we are
Speaker 2: both done. But when he wrote day, my first reaction
Speaker 2: was you've let me down again. Yeah, like you were
Speaker 2: really letting me down in this moment, because I couldn't
Speaker 2: fathom why you would put stay at this point in time,
Speaker 2: And another part of me was do I have to stay?
Speaker 2: And I did kind of mention, you know, to production,
Speaker 2: like I'm going home, you know, And there was that,
Speaker 2: you know, that awkward kind of conversation where it's like, oh,
Speaker 2: that's not.
Speaker 3: The rules of this experiment, like you physically aren't allowed to,
Speaker 3: like you could get in trouble from a contract do
Speaker 3: you sign? Because that just seems so crazy to me
Speaker 3: that you were forced to stay somewhere you don't want
Speaker 3: to be.
Speaker 2: You know, I think Heinz that's a really beautiful thing.
Speaker 2: When you're in that moment and you kind of living
Speaker 2: in all you know, your sadness, and you're going, I
Speaker 2: really want to go home. But when they're saying that
Speaker 2: you can't, you kind of have that little bit of
Speaker 2: element like, oh I can't. Like I know it sounds
Speaker 2: so crazy outside perspective, but I was so like, oh cool,
Speaker 2: I'm going home and they're like, no, that's not part
Speaker 2: of the rules. You almost feel like oh okay, like
Speaker 2: there's rules I have to kind of stay. But Heinz,
Speaker 2: that's a beautiful thing. And you're watching back and you're like,
Speaker 2: did I have to a fema? Like yeah?
Speaker 1: Do you know what?
Speaker 3: Though?
Speaker 1: I think like you become institutionalized and the producers it
Speaker 1: is their job to get you to do the things
Speaker 1: that they need you to do. Creating a TV show
Speaker 1: and I honestly do think that, like so much of it,
Speaker 1: you almost become like worried about disappointing people by not
Speaker 1: following the rules because you feel guilty that you've stepped
Speaker 1: outside of of what you've been told that you're supposed
Speaker 1: to do. And I say this from you know, doing
Speaker 1: The Bachelor of many many moons ago. You kind of
Speaker 1: find yourself in this weird situation where you're almost being
Speaker 1: obedient because you feel as though it's what you have
Speaker 1: to do.
Speaker 2: Oh, I feel that, And there is that guilt factor
Speaker 2: as well. You do feel guilty. You're like, Okay, someone
Speaker 2: else's here on this experience and you know they're saying
Speaker 2: stay and they're trying and they want to give it
Speaker 2: a go. And then you do have that element of
Speaker 2: production and external voices also kind of it's not really
Speaker 2: a relationship between two people. It's a relationship between like,
Speaker 2: you know, twenty people produce.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so interesting. Hey, Athina, talk to me a
Speaker 1: bit about Adrian. So we saw that he kicked up
Speaker 1: a bit of a stink or actually a very big
Speaker 1: stink over the fact that he wasn't included in this
Speaker 1: maths pro video that was created. He left his ring
Speaker 1: on the table and he walked out as though he'd
Speaker 1: thrown his toys out of the prem Very dramatic, But
Speaker 1: there's been he's dose interviews since and he said that
Speaker 1: that's not how it went down, and that he was
Speaker 1: actually told by producers that he had to leave the show.
Speaker 1: What is your version of the events of what happened?
Speaker 2: Adrian struggles with accountability, But I understand, like I can
Speaker 2: look at it from an empathetic point of view. You
Speaker 2: were hurt, your ego was bruised, You did feel left out,
Speaker 2: he felt excluded. I just think that there were so
Speaker 2: many other ways he could have handled that situation and
Speaker 2: he chose wrong.
Speaker 3: So do you think that he chose to leave and
Speaker 3: he's making an excuse saying that they told him to go,
Speaker 3: or do you think the producers genuinely said pack your
Speaker 3: bags and go trying to.
Speaker 2: Like Adrian made that decision to leave. Ye, right, he
Speaker 2: needs to have some accountability, Jose. But for him, I
Speaker 2: think it was feelings. He was feeling hurt. Yeah, he
Speaker 2: was feeling like he was a victim at this moment.
Speaker 2: He was upset, and he really acted on those of
Speaker 2: the more then if he had leant in with vulnerability,
Speaker 2: we would have had such a different outcome if he
Speaker 2: had said, I'm hurt, I'm feeling, you know, disincluded. I'm
Speaker 2: unsure why, like we could have tackled it together. Again,
Speaker 2: I've said it multiple times. I think I've shown at
Speaker 2: this point I can be very empathetic to most situations,
Speaker 2: and I'm here to be your partner and your teammate,
Speaker 2: but you need to help me help you, and at
Speaker 2: this point you weren't giving me much.
Speaker 1: Well, this is what he said. He said, I'm pissed
Speaker 1: off that I'm not in the promo. It's disrespectful and
Speaker 1: I'm not going to be treated like that. I'm not
Speaker 1: coming back until they get me in the promo. Even
Speaker 1: just reading that, do you, when you think about like
Speaker 1: your experience in there and what it was like to
Speaker 1: be alongside him partnered, do you think he was in
Speaker 1: there because he wanted a relationship or do you think
Speaker 1: he was in there because he wanted the fame that
Speaker 1: comes with being on Maths.
Speaker 2: It's really hard because I dreamed one hundred percent believe
Speaker 2: that some people were on there for what comes afterwards.
Speaker 2: But I do think that those same people also were
Speaker 2: open to love. You know, everyone used such different language.
Speaker 2: I know I went in there and I just couldn't
Speaker 2: wait to meet this person. I think for him, you know,
Speaker 2: the bonus would have been if the person at the
Speaker 2: end of the hour was a match.
Speaker 3: Yeah right, you know I have to just like try.
Speaker 1: I love the positivity on them. Could be probably isn't,
Speaker 1: but we'll see.
Speaker 3: You got a producer right behind. I do have to
Speaker 3: say one thing. I'm trying to put myself in that position.
Speaker 3: Like if I was on The Bachelor and every other
Speaker 3: cast member was in a promo and I wasn't, and
Speaker 3: they were like, go sit outside, your brain would start
Speaker 3: to be like, well, hang on, what's going on here?
Speaker 3: Is something going to happen to me on this show
Speaker 3: and that's why they're not included me, Like you might
Speaker 3: start to be I can understand why his ego is.
Speaker 3: I don't think you're handled it the right way, but
Speaker 3: I do want to know you've got some of you
Speaker 3: guys going very rogue, like Jackie on her socials is
Speaker 3: just like spilling the absolute tea, and we know that
Speaker 3: you're not allowed to do that. We know contractually you're not.
Speaker 3: You're supposed to hand over your social media? Is there
Speaker 3: any backlash or repercussions? Like, are you guys getting in
Speaker 3: trouble for this stuff?
Speaker 2: Honestly, I've been asked myself the same question. I'm kind
Speaker 2: of like, it almost feels like certain people just get
Speaker 2: away with murder. What are the repercussions? Maybe I'm gonna
Speaker 2: go rogue, Yeah, tell us something. There was moments in
Speaker 2: that experiment, Yeah, that absolutely have been cut from what's
Speaker 2: being shown, And there was moments where we you know,
Speaker 2: there is that little bit of coersion, and there was
Speaker 2: moments where we just didn't show up authentically as ourselves.
Speaker 2: I do think that a lot of the applicants going
Speaker 2: rogue right now, you're probably better off not going rogue
Speaker 2: because I think they're not actually helping themselves. Like from
Speaker 2: what I'm seeing from these rogue pos and these rogue
Speaker 2: podcasts or channels or everything they're doing. I'm like the
Speaker 2: character that you want to show people who you are,
Speaker 2: Like there better version, You're not doing that right now.
Speaker 1: Do you think that people have been shown pretty much
Speaker 1: on par with how they behaved, because everyone always comes
Speaker 1: out and says like, oh, it's the edit, I'm actually
Speaker 1: this person, not that person. From your experience, do you
Speaker 1: think that it's been pretty honest to the way people
Speaker 1: were in that experiment?
Speaker 2: From what I've seen so far, it's absolutely been what
Speaker 2: I've seen when I was in this experiment. That's the
Speaker 2: characters that can shine. But also one thing I will
Speaker 2: be honest about is I'm not behind closed doors. I
Speaker 2: don't know what conversations are having off camera. I don't
Speaker 2: know everyone's situation to maybe how they acted was not
Speaker 2: authentic to who they were. I know myself personally, there
Speaker 2: was some moments in that experiment where I'm like, that's
Speaker 2: not me, but how I'm feeling and when you're around
Speaker 2: all this negativity sometimes that manifests outwards. So I don't
Speaker 2: know what they were going through. But what I've seen
Speaker 2: so far are the characters that I've seen in real life.
Speaker 2: But I do think there were more high moments in
Speaker 2: most relationships, but you're not going to show those. You're
Speaker 2: going to show just the crash of the roller coaster,
Speaker 2: not the highest that come with it.
Speaker 1: And Afina, you also have like such a different element
Speaker 1: to it as well, because I mean, when you have
Speaker 1: kids and you're going into an experiment like this, like
Speaker 1: you have a six year so the stakes are so
Speaker 1: much higher. It's not just a reality TV show. You
Speaker 1: have to consider how it affects your family at home
Speaker 1: and also the type of person that you're potentially bringing
Speaker 1: into your family at home. What was going through your
Speaker 1: head when you're in the situation where you're wanting to
Speaker 1: leave to get back to your son and you're being
Speaker 1: told that you're going to stay.
Speaker 2: I was really sad. I just I really got into
Speaker 2: my victim mentality, which I shouldn't have. You know, we're
Speaker 2: all going through our own struggles and trials. But I
Speaker 2: did think to myself, like, this person's not going to be,
Speaker 2: you know, a role model to my child right now.
Speaker 2: And I feel like we tolerate more in ourselves than
Speaker 2: we ever would on our children. I know it sounds
Speaker 2: really bad, but you know, the behaviors and the actions
Speaker 2: and everything else. Had I been in that experiment with
Speaker 2: my son right next to me, would I have stayed
Speaker 2: week once? I don't know, like, probably not. But I'm
Speaker 2: so disconnected from my son and I'm disconnected from my reality.
Speaker 2: And you know, even though it's on the back of
Speaker 2: my head every day, like if this person's gonna be
Speaker 2: good enough for my child. You do kind of lose
Speaker 2: that sense of reality and you're kind of stuck. Oh,
Speaker 2: it's he and I in this relationship, but it was hard.
Speaker 3: So Fanny's still together.
Speaker 2: You just have to watch him.
Speaker 3: Fine now, all right, Well we're gonna stay tuned. We're all.
Speaker 3: You've got a hook line and singer, so I can't
Speaker 3: wait to see what happens. But I hope whatever it is,
Speaker 3: love and happiness does find you and your son.
Speaker 2: Look, maybe I rub off an Adrian. You know.
Speaker 3: Well, we
Speaker 2: Thanks so much of Ana, all right, thank you, bye,