Speaker 1: It is time for one of the segments that Laura
Speaker 1: and I do every single week on our podcast Life Uncut.
Speaker 1: It is called Ask Uncut, and it's where you guys
Speaker 1: writing or you call up with your biggest, darkest, deepest
Speaker 1: problems and we give our best uneducated.
Speaker 2: Don't about to say unsolicited, Well, it's kind of solicited.
Speaker 2: It's just not yeah, it's not qualified.
Speaker 3: It's solicited.
Speaker 1: It's just yeah, it's just not qualified. But we have
Speaker 1: today a bit of a predicament with Christie. She's been
Speaker 1: with a partner since she was eighteen years old, wants
Speaker 1: to know is she missing out?
Speaker 3: Hey Christy, Hey yeah, look I love him so much,
Speaker 3: but I do think about all the years of kind
Speaker 3: of missed out on what my friends always talk about
Speaker 3: how old are?
Speaker 1: If you're not my umy're asking like, how long you
Speaker 1: guys been together for?
Speaker 4: I'm twenty nine, so it's been eleven years.
Speaker 1: Wow, that's great these days you've been last that long?
Speaker 2: I mean, what is it that your friends are saying
Speaker 2: you're missing out on? If you're saying you're in love
Speaker 2: with your partner and you're having a great time, like
Speaker 2: what the dating scene is not what people cut it
Speaker 2: out to be.
Speaker 4: I don't know, there's a sort of manticize idea around
Speaker 4: just spreading your wild oats or whatever they're saying, is,
Speaker 4: you know, just getting out there and kind of having
Speaker 4: some fun and playing around. I mean, I love my
Speaker 4: partner and I'm glad I don't have to do that.
Speaker 4: But I'm like, you know, the grass is always green?
Speaker 1: Do you know? I actually do understand what you're saying.
Speaker 1: You can be so in love and so happy, but
Speaker 1: when you haven't had any other experiences to compare it to,
Speaker 1: that's what plans the seed of doubt, because you're like,
Speaker 1: how do I know there's not better? How do I
Speaker 1: know that's not worse? How do I know there's not
Speaker 1: someone better suited? I understand why those feelings come. I
Speaker 1: do want you to know that the dating world is grim.
Speaker 4: It's really grim.
Speaker 1: It's probably not as good as people are making it out.
Speaker 3: Do you know.
Speaker 2: The thing is, no one wants to learn that lesson though,
Speaker 2: Like you're never going to break up from a great
Speaker 2: relationship with a person that you're saying that you love
Speaker 2: for the potential of going out there and just seeing
Speaker 2: if you get hurt and then realizing actually that was
Speaker 2: pretty good. Like that, it sounds like a terrible idea.
Speaker 2: If you're happy and he's great, it just means you
Speaker 2: got so lucky that you met someone so young that
Speaker 2: you didn't have to go through the trenches and kids
Speaker 2: are holy betose.
Speaker 1: I agree, But I do think that there is something
Speaker 1: to not necessarily not wanting to be with your partner,
Speaker 1: but wanting different experiences. And maybe that's different sexual experiences.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's it's like I understand that that there's a
Speaker 1: thought for you saying, hey, maybe I'll just know one
Speaker 1: person intimately for my entire life. But that doesn't mean
Speaker 1: there can't be at least be a conversation with your
Speaker 1: partner on maybe they're feeling the same way. Maybe you
Speaker 1: could open up the relationship. There are so many different
Speaker 1: ways to have a relationship now, but of course in
Speaker 1: that situation, it has to be a very consensual conversation,
Speaker 1: like it can't be one of you being like.
Speaker 4: I'm opening it up, I'm going out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I think we romanticize this idea
Speaker 2: of like the grass is greener. I mean, I have
Speaker 2: a really good friend of mine who she got married
Speaker 2: not lastly the other year before, and she's been with
Speaker 2: her partner since she was nineteen years old, only like
Speaker 2: first boyfriend, first sexual experience, all of that stuff. And
Speaker 2: I remember when we were in our early twenties and
Speaker 2: having this exact conversation with her, and we because we
Speaker 2: were also in her early twenties, and gave terrible advice.
Speaker 2: We were like, yeah, it's weird to only be with
Speaker 2: one person your whole life. Now she's married with him,
Speaker 2: and thank god she didn't listen to us, because she's like,
Speaker 2: I just met my soulmate early and he's amazing, and
Speaker 2: I got so lucky.
Speaker 1: Great for Sharon, and.
Speaker 2: Then she should be for she witnessed me. Yeah, go
Speaker 2: through the trenches for ten years.
Speaker 1: But is that what you think it is, Christy? You
Speaker 1: think like that you actually want to be stuff.
Speaker 4: I could probably learn about myself if I was, But
Speaker 4: I don't know what that is, you know, And it's
Speaker 4: the unknown. And it's also spending too much time watching
Speaker 4: Sex in the City and Samantha.
Speaker 2: No, no one wants to actually be Samantha.
Speaker 3: That's also very produced.
Speaker 2: She's a terrible hot mess.
Speaker 1: It's not a reality show, it's fiction.
Speaker 2: Christy. I think if you're happy and your partner is
Speaker 2: great to you and you honestly can say that you're
Speaker 2: in love with him, and I would not be giving
Speaker 2: or entertaining too much this idea that maybe there's something
Speaker 2: better out there.
Speaker 4: Yes, it might not be.
Speaker 1: No, I think best of both worlds. You can stay
Speaker 1: and also go to swingers club or the experience the
Speaker 1: best of both world you do what, Yeah, there's no normal.
Speaker 1: There's no normal, so there's ways that you can tick
Speaker 1: all your boxes.
Speaker 2: Imagine if your partner after ten years was like I'd
Speaker 2: allowed to go to a swingers club.
Speaker 1: I'd go, for sure, but I'd be the person just
Speaker 1: watches Yeah, like the creep from the corner, just like
Speaker 1: go and watch through like a little piggy.
Speaker 2: Okay, if you want some terrible advice like that, please
Speaker 2: give us a call and you might end up on
Speaker 2: the show next week