Speaker 1: Well, speaking of Valentine's Day, and since everything on this
Speaker 1: show is centered around love, this conversation is going to
Speaker 1: be for anyone who is in a long term relationship.
Speaker 1: Maybe you've got kids, maybe you're in the trenches, and
Speaker 1: things just aren't as magical as what once upon a
Speaker 1: time they were. I feel like it happens to all
Speaker 1: long term couples. Like keeping me Yeah, well, long distance
Speaker 1: kind of changes things a little bit, but trying to
Speaker 1: keep like that long term spark is really really hard.
Speaker 1: But it's interesting for me because the women that we're
Speaker 1: about to speak to, Tara Pavlovich. Once upon a time
Speaker 1: I was in competition with her for the Heart of
Speaker 1: a Man on a reality TV show, and now I
Speaker 1: just love watching everything that she puts out in the
Speaker 1: world on social media. Tara, Welcome to the show. Hello, Laura,
Speaker 1: arguably the fan favorite of whatever season we were of
Speaker 1: The Bachelor.
Speaker 2: Look, guys, the competition's over. You're both married with kids.
Speaker 2: Let's leave that one in the six year past. But Tara,
Speaker 2: it's so cool. I was like reading your post on
Speaker 2: Instagram just saying that, hey, let's normalize couples counseling. You know,
Speaker 2: we're trying to get our connection back and do all
Speaker 2: these things, and it doesn't have to mean that life
Speaker 2: is over. What made you start going to therapy and
Speaker 2: what made you want to speak about it?
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I think therapy is something that like everyone
Speaker 3: can benefit from singly or as a couple. Even if
Speaker 3: we went because we needed a lot of help Black
Speaker 3: things were really bad. But then once I went, I
Speaker 3: was like, wait a minute, I think I want to
Speaker 3: do this even now things are good because it really
Speaker 3: does help the connection because they're so trained in helping
Speaker 3: couples and they know so many ways to get you
Speaker 3: both to understand each other a little bit more. So
Speaker 3: it's just good to go and have a little refresher
Speaker 3: and kind of understand each other all because in reality,
Speaker 3: like you're always going to have little issues and you're
Speaker 3: never going to completely understand each other, Like when you're
Speaker 3: married with kids, it's hard, like stuff changes all the time.
Speaker 3: You're forever evolving. So it's just about going and having
Speaker 3: a little refresher and finding that connection again.
Speaker 1: Tara, you and Neck have been together for a while
Speaker 1: well now, and obviously you've got two beautiful children, But
Speaker 1: did you feel that your relationship just completely shifted after
Speaker 1: having kids.
Speaker 3: Oh, it's so hard when you have kids. You just
Speaker 3: don't have that time to connect anymore. And that's what
Speaker 3: the therapist helped us with because we're broth up, but
Speaker 3: we don't have time and she's like, no, but you do,
Speaker 3: and here's how you can have it. You know. So
Speaker 3: it's hard with kids because they don't even let you speak,
Speaker 3: like I'm hiding outside right now, like to speak on
Speaker 3: the phone, because you know, when Laura you messaged her,
Speaker 3: I was like, no, I can't talk to you like
Speaker 3: I've got children with me. It's the same here. Literally,
Speaker 3: if we even look at each other, they're like, no,
Speaker 3: you do not, Like how dare you we are here?
Speaker 1: Like when you talked about wanting to go and see
Speaker 1: a counselor or do couples counseling with either of you,
Speaker 1: apprehensive because I think there is still a lot of
Speaker 1: stigma around it, Like a lot of people interpret that as, oh, well,
Speaker 1: we must be at doomsday when it comes to our
Speaker 1: relationship if you want to go and see a counselor.
Speaker 3: I know it is like that, and that's why I'm
Speaker 3: so open about it because I want people to know that,
Speaker 3: like it's not doom and going. I honestly think that
Speaker 3: the strongest couples go and seek it because it's like,
Speaker 3: we will do anything for this to work. When we
Speaker 3: first saw the counselor, we were like, it was kind
Speaker 3: of like the last resort type thing. We really needed
Speaker 3: to go there. But after going we were like, wait,
Speaker 3: this is actually like pretty good and so useful.
Speaker 2: It's so good because I am with one of my ex's.
Speaker 2: We were doing therapy individually and then I said, hey,
Speaker 2: I think we need to go together, and he refused
Speaker 2: because I think the next step is a couple was
Speaker 2: something different for him, you know, he could understand going individually,
Speaker 2: there was still this stigma for the couples therapy. He
Speaker 2: refused to go. Now that worked out and he got me, Yeah,
Speaker 2: that was my point, Laura, how are.
Speaker 1: You and Nick now, like after all of this and
Speaker 1: everything that you guys have weathered with having kids and
Speaker 1: come back together, Like, how do you feel your relationship
Speaker 1: is now?
Speaker 3: Oh? Definitely after that therapy session, we've been a lot closer.
Speaker 3: So it's helped us so much. It was only like
Speaker 3: a couple of months ago, and it's definitely made such
Speaker 3: a difference. So I'm going to go again and have
Speaker 3: another refresher and learn some more little things from her,
Speaker 3: because it's really just helped a lot, Like just having
Speaker 3: the reminder and the conversation with her was so helpful.
Speaker 3: Obviously there's things that we both do every day that
Speaker 3: were just like okay, that, like that's annoying, goal away,
Speaker 3: like you're so annoying. But yeah, but you know, I
Speaker 3: think it's important to remember that that's completely normal. And
Speaker 3: like what we're seeing on Instagram with couples and everything
Speaker 3: isn't the whole picture. Like everyone has little bickers every
Speaker 3: day and you piss each other off and that's normal.
Speaker 1: Absolutely a Tara, You're a breath of fresh air. I
Speaker 1: love watching your Instagram post for anyone who hasn't followed
Speaker 1: Tara Tara Pavlovic on Instagram, Like you're very relatable with
Speaker 1: all of your very funny updates around parenting and relationships,
Speaker 1: and I feel like you just say it as it is,
Speaker 1: which you always.
Speaker 3: Laura appreciate, love you and you and my ex as well.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, happy Valentine's Day, Tara.
Speaker 3: Thanks you're happy Valentine's Day, guys. I hope it's it's amazing. Bye,
Speaker 3: it's so nice.
Speaker 2: It's such a nice reminder, isn't it. Like your brain
Speaker 2: is also a muscle. We exercise our like our body
Speaker 2: and where we do our squats, we want great legs
Speaker 2: or whatever it is, but we forget that our brain
Speaker 2: is something that needs to be exercised too. And I
Speaker 2: think it's a really good reminder of like you can't
Speaker 2: just forget it until it shrivels away and be like,
Speaker 2: oh yeah, now it's time to try and work it
Speaker 2: back up.