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Speaker 1: This is a podcast about failure with me.

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Speaker 2: Lola Berry, author, nutritionist, and yoga teacher, join me as

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Speaker 2: we get to know these guests and learn about how

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Speaker 2: their failures have ultimately shaped their dreams. Welcome to Fearlessly

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Speaker 2: Failing with Lolaberry.

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Speaker 1: Hello, it's Lols here.

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Speaker 2: Before we get into today's podcast, I just want to

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Speaker 2: send out some megalove to Victorians and Melbournians. Been in

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Speaker 2: Stage four and Stage three lockdowns, I know that mentally

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Speaker 2: it can be a really tough time for people. I

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Speaker 2: have been seeing my therapist very regularly, as has the Boss,

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Speaker 2: and I just want you to know that it's totally

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Speaker 2: okay to feel flat, to feel like you're not being

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Speaker 2: productive enough, and it's absolutely okay to ask for help.

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Speaker 2: So I do urge you to please ask for help

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Speaker 2: if you need it. And I think the energy in

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Speaker 2: Victoria now is a little bit flat. So yeah, just

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Speaker 2: sending out mega mega mega love. Today's guest Kate Kendall. Now,

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Speaker 2: she's a Sydney yogi and we actually recorded this podcast.

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Speaker 1: In real life but last year.

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Speaker 2: Because we were both teaching it one to last festival together.

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Speaker 2: For those of you that do not know Kate Kendall.

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Speaker 2: She is co founder of Flow Athletic in Sydney. I

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Speaker 2: actually taught then when I lived in Paddington around.

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Speaker 1: The corner from it.

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Speaker 2: She's also got a ripper yog's book called Life in Flow.

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Speaker 2: She's a new mum to Smidge. Her daughter's name is Alice,

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Speaker 2: but she calls us Midge. But the cool thing really

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Speaker 2: about this episode is Kate is so open. We have

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Speaker 2: a long standing friendship, so she really went super super deep.

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Speaker 2: She opened up about dieting, about burnout, but she did

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Speaker 2: go quite into the depths of eating disorder stuff. So

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Speaker 2: just to trigger warning there if you've had an eating disorder, this.

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Speaker 1: Might bring up some stuff for you.

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Speaker 2: And big thank you and big big love for the

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Speaker 2: incredible I call it KK. But Kate Kendall, You're wonderful

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Speaker 2: and thank you so much for being so brave on

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Speaker 2: today's podcast. This is Kate Kendall aka Active Yogi. If

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Speaker 2: you follow on instead, which definitely jump on board. We

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Speaker 2: were just saying, because we have a friendship and we

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Speaker 2: know each other quite well, we're almost throwing the paper

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Speaker 2: away and I'm a virgo.

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Speaker 1: I make notes. I get really like soak.

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Speaker 2: Up this, but I just I get a bit too

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Speaker 2: OCD with it and I'm relinquishing all control here and

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Speaker 2: I just want this to be a chat with two

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Speaker 2: mates about real shit.

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Speaker 1: PS. You can swear no.

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Speaker 2: Rules, Yeah, drop an F bomb right at the get go.

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Speaker 2: No mucking around with you, okay for people playing at home.

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Speaker 1: Basically, I'm going to give.

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Speaker 2: A quick rundown of who you are and what you do,

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Speaker 2: and I'm sure I'm going to miss things, so I

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Speaker 2: feel free to be like Lowels Solby. Sure so, director,

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Speaker 2: co founder, co creator of Flow Athletic in seeds my

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Speaker 2: saying that correctly, And that's do you say nearly seven

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Speaker 2: years old?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Awesome.

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Speaker 4: I also used to teach that when I lived in Pados.

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Speaker 3: She did, she's a guest teacher. I loved it.

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Speaker 2: I loved every second there. You are an author life

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Speaker 2: in flow. You also had was an online program The

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Speaker 2: Space Between Still There, and that's about more about meditation

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Speaker 2: or yokes.

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Speaker 5: It's a four week program designed to help you slow down.

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Speaker 1: Oh, I love.

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Speaker 2: Passionate about badic meditation. Mama bared a Smidge or Alice,

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Speaker 2: whichever name you'd like to use.

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Speaker 1: Today, and she's about what She's a good turned one, hasn't.

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Speaker 3: She coming up to fourteen months and.

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Speaker 2: About the book, I quickly just want to touch on

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Speaker 2: this because it's available now good bookstores.

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Speaker 1: Life in Flow.

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Speaker 2: I like the way there's this little line. I think

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Speaker 2: it's at the very start living yoga on and off

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Speaker 2: the mat. So even if you don't do physically yokes,

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Speaker 2: it's kind of like not self help, but like a

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Speaker 2: little bit of a guy to take that, like your

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Speaker 2: energy is very.

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Speaker 1: Like calm and gentle and beauty. We were just testing

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Speaker 1: the mics and I sound like a.

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Speaker 2: Bear, like with my loudness, and you're just like, really like,

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Speaker 2: what's something that's like really gentle and gorgeous and calm.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what describe some kind of like animal

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Speaker 2: that's just like so meek and sweet.

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Speaker 1: I've got you fooled. I think I've got it.

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Speaker 5: So there's so much we can talk about living a

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Speaker 5: yoga off the mat. So that's I guess the book.

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Speaker 5: The whole thing is. You know, we know by now

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Speaker 5: that yoga isn't just what we're doing on the on

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Speaker 5: the four corners of our rubber mat. We can take

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Speaker 5: it with us and really the us and in the

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Speaker 5: physical Bosters is just one tiny, tiny little bit of.

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Speaker 3: What yoga is. Really. Yoga is a way of life,

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Speaker 3: and it's a lifestyle.

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Speaker 5: So yeah, in that book, it's it's suggested ways for

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Speaker 5: living this really kind and compassionate and warming way off

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Speaker 5: the map.

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Speaker 1: I love it.

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Speaker 2: Ps if you need clanking in the background, we're at

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Speaker 2: the beautiful Cafeine in Alexandria, but we are quite close

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Speaker 2: to the kitchen.

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Speaker 1: It's kind of lunchtime. So if you do hear a

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Speaker 1: bit of chat chattering or claim.

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Speaker 3: Just like chips and gravy in there, is that the

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Speaker 3: smell you reckon?

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Speaker 1: Ah, I didn't pick that, didn't pick up on that.

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Speaker 4: Good on you.

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Speaker 2: I love that, by the way, and I love the

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Speaker 2: way you just said yoga is just one part. Like

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Speaker 2: even in the is it the eightlimbs of yoga, the

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Speaker 2: arsenal or the physical posers.

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Speaker 1: Are one tiny chunk one of the eight So.

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Speaker 2: There are seven other parts that I don't know that.

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Speaker 2: There's not studios around the seven other parts. Really, so

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Speaker 2: I think I like that. I think also about yoga though,

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Speaker 2: and you'll probably tell me if I'm wrong. It's like

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Speaker 2: a chance people dip their tawe into all the other

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Speaker 2: stuff that yoga can offer, but the physical is often

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Speaker 2: what gets you there.

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Speaker 3: It's like the breach, it's like the gateway. For sure.

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Speaker 5: That's definitely what got me into yoga because I hadn't

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Speaker 5: done yogs for ever ever, I'd never done it when

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Speaker 5: I first got into it. I wanted to get into

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Speaker 5: it because I thought it would give me longer, leaner limbs,

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Speaker 5: it would make.

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Speaker 1: Me look good.

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Speaker 5: Because I hadn't been exercising for a couple of years.

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Speaker 5: I wasn't in a great place, you know. I was

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Speaker 5: on antipressants. It's really depressed, and I really didn't get

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Speaker 5: into it for that though. It was more for the physical.

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Speaker 5: And after that very first class, I just remember walking

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Speaker 5: back to my apartment in Bondi.

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Speaker 3: So the studio is in Northboard. I was walking You've

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Speaker 3: taken me to the studio.

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Speaker 1: It's called dam We've gone together.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a pretty pretty special place.

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Speaker 5: And I was walking home and I remember stopping in

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Speaker 5: my tracks and just feeling really emotional. And I don't

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Speaker 5: think the feelings were necessarily like high vibes or anything,

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Speaker 5: but the main thing was that I was feeling something

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Speaker 5: because for so many years I was just numb, and

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Speaker 5: I was like, whoa, Like, is it the yoga?

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Speaker 4: Is it all?

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Speaker 3: The breathing isn't stretching?

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Speaker 5: So I decided to go back, and yes, really quickly

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Speaker 5: it changed my body for sure.

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Speaker 1: You said in a month you notice massive changes in

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Speaker 1: your body.

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Speaker 3: And after a month they came off my antidepressants. That

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Speaker 3: was how fast? Yeah?

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Speaker 5: For me, that's it wasn't easy coming off them, but

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Speaker 5: it was yoga was the physical was the change agent

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Speaker 5: that I needed. You know, the mental stuff was just

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Speaker 5: from the get go. I really noticed that stuff was gold.

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Speaker 5: And it's still you know that yoga still is my medicine,

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Speaker 5: but you know a lot of the other practices around

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Speaker 5: it as well.

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Speaker 1: Just before finding yoga. And I only know this because.

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Speaker 2: I've been reading and researching you, and I was just saying,

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Speaker 2: I'm be ocd and nerdy with the podcast and when

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Speaker 2: you spoke about before that first ever class and being

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Speaker 2: on antidepressants and you described as being constantly in a

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Speaker 2: state of dullness, What.

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Speaker 1: Was that like? What was that like? What was that?

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Speaker 1: How did that feel?

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Speaker 3: Nothing? You don't feel anything.

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Speaker 5: My experience with it was that I didn't experience any

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Speaker 5: highs and I didn't experience any lows. I was just

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Speaker 5: in this really like me it's a good way, constantly

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Speaker 5: in that place. And there was just something inside me

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Speaker 5: that had just shut down. And I think it really

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Speaker 5: kind of started back in high school, which is I

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Speaker 5: guess my first big failure if you if you do so, yeah,

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Speaker 5: Really the feeling of meth really stemmed from them, because

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Speaker 5: then because when I was about.

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Speaker 3: Oh, year nine, how old are we.

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Speaker 1: In year nine?

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Speaker 5: I up until that point I was always you know,

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Speaker 5: friends with I went to boarding, score active. I was

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Speaker 5: you know, really good hockey player, a really good swimmer,

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Speaker 5: water polo, just like anything that I applied myself to I.

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Speaker 3: Nailed, Like I was really good at, really athletic.

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Speaker 5: And then about that age of year nine, I decided

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Speaker 5: that I just wasn't enough. I wasn't pretty enough, I

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Speaker 5: wasn't good enough. I was comparing myself to another person

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Speaker 5: in particular, and don't when I look back on it, it's

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Speaker 5: like it's not that person's fold or it's just like

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Speaker 5: a silly teenage thing that you make a decision. At

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Speaker 5: one point, I'm not good enough, and so I thought

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Speaker 5: that I could be better or accomplish something from what

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Speaker 5: I can work out, and I've done that much work

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Speaker 5: on myself, is that I could accomplish something by starving myself.

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Speaker 5: So I did that and I was fucking good at it.

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Speaker 5: In fact, I don't think I've ever been so disciplined

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Speaker 5: as when I was anorexic.

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Speaker 2: There's an I'm not away from you. But I heard

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Speaker 2: her an interview with Wak in Phoenix for The Joker,

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Speaker 2: and he had to lose heaps of weight, and he

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Speaker 2: was on Jimmy Kimmel and they said, how did you

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Speaker 2: go losing all that weight? Because he looks anorexic, he

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Speaker 2: looks so skinny and leaning it. And he said, he

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Speaker 2: turned around, he goes, it was so easy. He said,

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Speaker 2: for the first week, you've got low energy. And he said,

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Speaker 2: then you get as soon as you get close to him,

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Speaker 2: close to the goals, he said, this like wave of

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Speaker 2: control comes over you. And he said, he said, I

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Speaker 2: became more disciplined, and I became more almost obsessed with it.

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Speaker 2: And I can when you say that, I can understand.

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Speaker 5: I never counted calories. I never I was never like that.

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Speaker 5: It was just it was almost a competition with myself

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Speaker 5: each day. How can I get better at this.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, So what would a day look like eating wise?

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Speaker 5: Then I've got a pretty fast metabolism anyway, So I

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Speaker 5: think I was still eating three meals a day, but

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Speaker 5: they were like minimal. I couldn't even tell what it was.

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Speaker 5: It feels like so long ago, but I do remember

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Speaker 5: one day. I do remember one day I went the

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Speaker 5: whole day without eating, and I was like, I couldn't

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Speaker 5: even walk up the stairs, Like I was just that exhausted.

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Speaker 5: And obviously it became really obvious even though I wasn't

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Speaker 5: with my parents because I was at boarding school. You know,

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Speaker 5: my parents lived five hours away. It was really lucky that,

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Speaker 5: you know, we live in we I grew up in

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Speaker 5: this really small country town famous for apples called Batlow,

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Speaker 5: and really lucky that my parents worked really hard to

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Speaker 5: send me to boarding school, which I absolutely loved.

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Speaker 1: It was nothing about being a boarding school.

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Speaker 5: You know, the headmistress obviously noticed and friends. So it

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Speaker 5: wasn't until I saw my mom when I came out

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Speaker 5: of class one day and thought she hasn't done a

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Speaker 5: five hour road trip just for fun. She took me

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Speaker 5: off to hospital. They diagnosed me, so I kind of

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Speaker 5: I was like, Okay.

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Speaker 1: I go do something about this.

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Speaker 3: What did they diagnose you with with anarexia?

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Speaker 4: Okay?

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Speaker 3: And I guess because I.

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Speaker 5: Had so many eyes on me. Well, first of all,

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Speaker 5: that's I think that's a really that was. Deciding that

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Speaker 5: I wasn't good enough or it wasn't enough was probably

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Speaker 5: my biggest epic failure. But you know, we talk about

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Speaker 5: failures on this podcast, and I think you'll agree doesn't

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Speaker 5: feel right to call it a failure.

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Speaker 3: Because you've grown.

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Speaker 5: Everything's on purpose totally and everything.

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Speaker 1: That's why this exists.

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Speaker 2: Yes, it's we call it failing, but it's actually like

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Speaker 2: the biggest gift for yourself, Like if you didn't learn

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Speaker 2: the lesson of self worth or not being enough or

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Speaker 2: not loving yourself for those things like who knows what

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Speaker 2: path you might like. The theory is, yeah, you gotta

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Speaker 2: you fail, but you learn something epic from that. And

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Speaker 2: it sounds like the part of your story you're up

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Speaker 2: tore was though you were kind of in the thick

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Speaker 2: of this.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, And also maybe from a yogic point of view,

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Speaker 5: I might think of these little moments of failures.

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Speaker 3: More like karma. Whether you know.

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Speaker 5: I from a past lifetime or a few lifetimes ago

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Speaker 5: or early on in who knows.

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Speaker 3: That's the mystery of life.

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Speaker 5: Right, So I had all these eyes on me at school. Okay,

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Speaker 5: we've got to watch her, make sure she's well. And

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Speaker 5: so then I started to get really secretive about it,

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Speaker 5: and it turned into blame you, and you know, you

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Speaker 5: and I have had so many chats about this, and

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Speaker 5: it still gets my heart a little bit because I

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Speaker 5: guess what I feel so sad about is that you know,

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Speaker 5: we're giving this beautiful body to look after and you know,

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Speaker 5: this gift of athleticism, and to look back and see

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Speaker 5: myself make that decision and do that self to myself,

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Speaker 5: do that to myself.

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Speaker 3: Lordos are really bringing out in me.

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Speaker 4: Guys, this is all You're very courageous.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that makes me feel sad.

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Speaker 1: You would have been how old though at this.

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Speaker 3: Age fifteen fourteen?

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Speaker 2: Like I don't want you to ever blame yourself for that,

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Speaker 2: because like, although, yes you got lost on your path,

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Speaker 2: and yes that was a coping mechanism, and let's just

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Speaker 2: put it into perspective for a sec anybody that has

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Speaker 2: an eating behavior, let's call it. And then all of

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Speaker 2: a sudden, there's eyes on you and you're not ready

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Speaker 2: to let go of that yet. It's not it's just morphed. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it makes sense to me. That sounds like a natural

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Speaker 2: progression without like sitting in and facing I mean to

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Speaker 2: sit in and face an eating disorder at seventeen, Like

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Speaker 2: mind didn't even develop until I was twenty three, So

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Speaker 2: I can't imagine how at that? Do you know what

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Speaker 2: I mean? Like you don't even I don't think we

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Speaker 2: know who we are till like thirty. Mate, God, I'm

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Speaker 2: still working. But I mean, like, imagine then, Like that's

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Speaker 2: why I'm saying, don't I know? You say like it

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Speaker 2: feels like a failure that you were doing that to

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Speaker 2: your body, And I understand that, and I can see

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Speaker 2: how you would feel that, But please don't beat yourself up,

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Speaker 2: because one, I've been friends with you for so long

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Speaker 2: and I've seen the way that you so open and

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Speaker 2: honest definitely with me about this. So first of all, mate,

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Speaker 2: you've done very well today. But the second thing is,

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Speaker 2: like you've consistently been working on, like consistently over your

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Speaker 2: entire lifetime. You've worked on the idea of not being

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Speaker 2: enough being coping maganism with stress, you know, like and

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Speaker 2: when burnout comes, triggers come on up, like I'm I

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Speaker 2: will still say to my boyfriend. I'll be like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I'm having a funny day with food today, and that's

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Speaker 2: totally fine.

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Speaker 1: I'm thirty four, and.

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Speaker 5: Isn't it so good to talk about it? Because that

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Speaker 5: became my problem not talking about it. All eyes are

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Speaker 5: on me. How can I hide it? How can I

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Speaker 5: still have this thing that I can control and be

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Speaker 5: good at. So it became secretive. And you know, with

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Speaker 5: berlimia a lot of the time, it's not something that

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Speaker 5: makes you super super skinny anyway. So I guess that

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Speaker 5: was you know, I kind of hit it very well,

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Speaker 5: and not talking about it though, was probably the worst thing, and.

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Speaker 3: That's that. I think that contributed to feelings of numbness,

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Speaker 3: totally going back to why.

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Speaker 5: I was in that space of feeling numb anyway, because

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Speaker 5: you're not expressing, you're not talking, you're just.

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Speaker 3: Bottling it all up.

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Speaker 5: And then when you feel like you've bottled it all

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Speaker 5: up too much, there's a purge literally spilling it.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, secretive, we're.

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Speaker 2: Taking laxatives as well, no, so you're always more the

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Speaker 2: purge the other way, okay, because I've got a bit

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Speaker 2: on that laxative boat, because when you're not eating much

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Speaker 2: obviously not feeling much, and so I got sucked into there.

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Speaker 1: I just wondered, because I've never spoken ever about that.

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Speaker 2: So how did you go from like being in this

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Speaker 2: space of Okay, I can still control this thing.

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Speaker 1: I'm still really good at it. I am just now

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Speaker 1: hiding it from people.

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Speaker 2: How did you go from that to then did you

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Speaker 2: find that it changed when you spoke to someone or yeah,

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Speaker 2: and look.

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Speaker 5: It was on and off for a long time, and

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Speaker 5: then you know, even more recently talking like in the

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Speaker 5: past five years, when I started talking about it more,

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Speaker 5: and you know, you and I had big conversations together,

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Speaker 5: We had big.

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Speaker 3: Conversations around it. Yeah, that was a really special time.

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Speaker 5: And so I've been really lucky enough that talking about

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Speaker 5: it more has healed. And I can't express how important

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Speaker 5: that is. Like anyone listening to this who struggles with

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Speaker 5: any kind of eating disorder, you've got to talk about it,

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Speaker 5: You've got to express it.

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Speaker 3: You got to you know, you might want, might not

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Speaker 3: want to do.

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Speaker 5: It publicly, like I am right, but talking about it

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Speaker 5: just the bar makes it feel a little less shamy.

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Speaker 5: And I think also having a daughter and having someone

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Speaker 5: that you just want to set a really good example

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Speaker 5: for as well helps helps a lot. But yeah, I

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Speaker 5: think look, I think that started me off on this

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Speaker 5: trajectory of not speaking my truth. But yeah, once I

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Speaker 5: started doing the yoga, that definitely.

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Speaker 3: Helped to lift the fog a little bit and I

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Speaker 3: could feel more of a range of emotions. Got it,

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Speaker 3: would you?

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Speaker 1: I just have what I was gonna say.

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Speaker 2: I was looking at you know, I kept something like

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Speaker 2: going to cut you off and say, hang on, hang on,

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Speaker 2: it's gonna come, It's gonna come. Because it was about

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Speaker 2: this ED stuff. I don't know why I'm calling EDS

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Speaker 2: because it's in my notes is Oh they got it?

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Speaker 2: Did you find that?

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Speaker 1: Obviously?

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Speaker 2: You also not to jump around too much like generally

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Speaker 2: doing these listeners are used to it when you say,

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Speaker 2: are in high areas of stress in your life, be

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Speaker 2: it good stress. I opening an incredible but ginormous health

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Speaker 2: and fitness space.

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Speaker 1: Then so you're doing this thing, you're like, go, go, go,

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Speaker 1: go go.

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Speaker 2: I remember you didn't stop, like your feet never hit

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Speaker 2: the ground. We'd have like a little like coffee or

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Speaker 2: green juice date downstairs and then you'd be like, I

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00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:59,440
Speaker 2: gotta go to like, you know, we'd have these little

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Speaker 2: pockets of time just in between when you were just one.

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Speaker 2: And I imagine that. I know for me, when I'm

385
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Speaker 2: really stressed out, that can be a trigger.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that turned into a lot of that.

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Speaker 5: The first year, I'd skip a lot of meals and

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Speaker 5: it showed up in that regard. But burnout was the

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Speaker 5: biggest thing for me in those first couple of years,

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Speaker 5: like fully burnt out, not listening.

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Speaker 3: To myself, not speaking my truth.

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Speaker 5: A lot, you know, not having the kind of business

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Speaker 5: conversations that I should have had, and letting a lot

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Speaker 5: of those things sort of slide. But yeah, and that's

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Speaker 5: another I guess if you look at the burnout as

396
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Speaker 5: a bit of a failure, all these things I look

397
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Speaker 5: at as my inverted commerce failures or commas, they're all

398
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Speaker 5: they've all become my biggest messaging in what I teach

399
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:01,320
Speaker 5: and when I speak and whatever I do publicly. So

400
00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:04,480
Speaker 5: the burnout, you know, my whole eCos is based around

401
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:05,600
Speaker 5: helping people.

402
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:06,680
Speaker 3: Not burn out.

403
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:11,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, feel good and feel healthy vital Yeah, and burnout

404
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,240
Speaker 2: it's like a one way road to the opposite.

405
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:19,119
Speaker 5: So I think you your your biggest messes create your

406
00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:21,040
Speaker 5: biggest opportunities for messaging as well.

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Speaker 2: Oh I like that you said messes, failure, messes, same ballgame,

408
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:28,639
Speaker 2: face plant. Yeah totally, So would you say. I know

409
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,000
Speaker 2: we've spoken in the past about you having healers and

410
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:33,520
Speaker 2: we were talking about that for for hands out and

411
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,720
Speaker 2: kind of like spiritual kind of coaches and life coaches.

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Speaker 1: Have you or does therapy as well, like for that

413
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Speaker 1: stuff or have you in the past?

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Speaker 5: This I kind of expresses enough like I do not

415
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:52,520
Speaker 5: know how anyone survives without For me, my medicine is

416
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,560
Speaker 5: yoga and meditation. For some people it's meditation and surfing

417
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:58,399
Speaker 5: or surfing or hiking whatever, have that form of what's

418
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:03,120
Speaker 5: what's your medicine? And then I also don't know how

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00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:06,199
Speaker 5: we survive without the support of what I call for

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00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:10,720
Speaker 5: myself a spiritual a team. So I've got two people

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00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:12,920
Speaker 5: in particular who are like my secret weapons.

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Speaker 3: Well and they're actually married.

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Speaker 5: So I'm always cautious of saying this because I don't

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Speaker 5: want to like tell three people about them that.

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Speaker 2: You don't need to say the names, you can just

426
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,360
Speaker 2: talk about them. Everyone knows that I have a therapist

427
00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:26,320
Speaker 2: called Terry but I will not give his ttails out

428
00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:31,399
Speaker 2: because he's retired. Number one and two epic. Yeah, I'm like, yeah,

429
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:32,480
Speaker 2: I hold on to them, so.

430
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Speaker 1: You can just use their name.

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Speaker 5: They're a married couple, Meghan and Michael, and they're both

432
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:43,240
Speaker 5: kind of energy healers. They're amazing that it work together.

433
00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:47,919
Speaker 5: But so I see them separately, and one I lie

434
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:50,960
Speaker 5: on a massage table and he kind of moves energy

435
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,159
Speaker 5: around me. And he's also a therapist, so if I

436
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:56,000
Speaker 5: want to talk to him talk through things with him,

437
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:58,359
Speaker 5: I do, and he sees or feels the energy and

438
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:01,280
Speaker 5: the vibration my body and how to move that through.

439
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:04,840
Speaker 5: So that's really useful. And then his wife, she is

440
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:09,479
Speaker 5: one percent the reason why Smidge is around. My period

441
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:12,440
Speaker 5: ever since an her EXL was a bit skew if

442
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:15,639
Speaker 5: hormone skew, if I didn't really know if I was

443
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:20,600
Speaker 5: ever going to be able to conceive. She's an acupuncturist.

444
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:23,880
Speaker 5: She'd you know, a lot of Chinese medicine. She'd give

445
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:27,480
Speaker 5: me herbs every second week every month, and that got

446
00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:30,080
Speaker 5: me back on track. So and I talk a lot

447
00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:32,240
Speaker 5: with her as well, So you know, I think that

448
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:34,440
Speaker 5: this is all in my book as well, the importance

449
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:37,800
Speaker 5: of tribe. I think, you know, way back in the day,

450
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:40,880
Speaker 5: we all had communities and we all had so much

451
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,840
Speaker 5: help and even raising a child. It takes a village,

452
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:45,520
Speaker 5: That's when it's saying comes it takes.

453
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:50,840
Speaker 3: A village, whereas these days we're all so separate into ourselves.

454
00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:53,320
Speaker 5: Are so many different ways to connect, or it feels

455
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:56,120
Speaker 5: like there's so many different ways to connect. But why

456
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:59,480
Speaker 5: are people so lonely? Why so many people committing suicide,

457
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:03,040
Speaker 5: Why people cutting themselves, hurting themselves like more than ever.

458
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:06,320
Speaker 5: So I think that's really important to be able to

459
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:09,720
Speaker 5: have people to lean on and let people lean on.

460
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:10,320
Speaker 3: You as well.

461
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:11,840
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you're good at that.

462
00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:15,600
Speaker 5: I had heard Brunet Brown recently. She recently did to

463
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:18,520
Speaker 5: talk about trust. She's researching a lot about trust at

464
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:23,359
Speaker 5: the moment, and she said people are more likely to

465
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:30,320
Speaker 5: trust you if you also lean on them for advice

466
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:34,280
Speaker 5: and to be trusted. So it's not just Lola, I

467
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:36,320
Speaker 5: know that you really trust me with your staff, but

468
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:38,560
Speaker 5: you'll trust me more if I, yeah.

469
00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:41,840
Speaker 3: Trust you with myself. So it's a two way story.

470
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:42,600
Speaker 1: I love that.

471
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:45,520
Speaker 2: I think as well, we sometimes get caught up with

472
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:49,359
Speaker 2: being like as yogis and yoga te as like the healer.

473
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:51,359
Speaker 1: Sometimes that can like you would know.

474
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:52,720
Speaker 2: I'm sure there are people that come to you after

475
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:55,840
Speaker 2: class and they're like, oh, my hip flexens and they've.

476
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:59,200
Speaker 1: Got a story. You're there to help that. But it's

477
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:01,440
Speaker 1: when that an't. You got to get that. That's a

478
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 1: very interesting dynamic, and.

479
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:07,560
Speaker 2: A tricky one is a yoga teacher to navigate because

480
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:11,399
Speaker 2: you are there to facilitate the movement of you know,

481
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:14,800
Speaker 2: the us and are the pos and also potentially hold

482
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:17,080
Speaker 2: space for healing, like that's what you are there for.

483
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:20,639
Speaker 2: But yeah, I think it's interesting. It's almost like it's

484
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 2: in your personal life. You don't want to fall into

485
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:24,800
Speaker 2: that where you're the kind of healer and everyone else.

486
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:26,760
Speaker 1: You want that balance. That's what I've always loved about you.

487
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:30,639
Speaker 2: We always have these real in your terminology like juicy

488
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 2: combos and it's just about real shit or what we're

489
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:36,320
Speaker 2: both going through or you know.

490
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:38,919
Speaker 5: It's funny you bring up the energy stuff because a

491
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:41,639
Speaker 5: lot of my conversations with my spiritual a team or

492
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:46,280
Speaker 5: around sort of protecting your energy when you're teaching, and

493
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,360
Speaker 5: you know, it's something that you would need to learn

494
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:51,359
Speaker 5: as well you probably already do in your teaching. Is

495
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:53,800
Speaker 5: people can come to you with their stories, like you say,

496
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:56,640
Speaker 5: and it's really important to be in a space where you.

497
00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:59,439
Speaker 3: Feel grounded and in your body and not have to

498
00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:00,879
Speaker 3: feel like you have to give yourself.

499
00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:03,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can still be compassionate and kind.

500
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:06,000
Speaker 3: That's coming up for me a lot.

501
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:10,160
Speaker 5: And just learning to work more deeply with the energetics,

502
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,800
Speaker 5: not just in yoga, but in life in general. And

503
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:16,159
Speaker 5: is this you heard of Mama Medicine. No, I'm like Laura,

504
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:18,000
Speaker 5: look her.

505
00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:21,840
Speaker 1: You will love I'm going to eat except to me

506
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:22,960
Speaker 1: like you will love her.

507
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:28,080
Speaker 5: So she's out of New York and she creates all

508
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:31,200
Speaker 5: these rituals. She gives people rituals for like like her

509
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:34,280
Speaker 5: big thing of baths, So add this to your bath,

510
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:36,960
Speaker 5: epsom salts or rose cords or like.

511
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:38,880
Speaker 3: She'll have all different recipes for baths.

512
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:39,520
Speaker 4: Ah.

513
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:42,280
Speaker 3: But she also sees ours. So she does these like

514
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:44,240
Speaker 3: medicine readings.

515
00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:45,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, beautiful.

516
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:47,320
Speaker 5: And I was listening to a talk. She's quite a

517
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:50,480
Speaker 5: business woman. I was listening to her talk the other

518
00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:55,600
Speaker 5: day and she was saying that the most potent energy

519
00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:59,560
Speaker 5: to be in and safe energy to be in if

520
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:02,960
Speaker 5: you want to detect yourself is to be in.

521
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:03,280
Speaker 3: The energy of love.

522
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:08,000
Speaker 5: So to do that, you might think about your daughter,

523
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:11,240
Speaker 5: or you might think about Bosso.

524
00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:14,119
Speaker 1: Or I loves that he gets so many mentions on

525
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:18,000
Speaker 1: this thing. The poor bugger. He called me right before

526
00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:19,320
Speaker 1: you came up and he was like, can you chat.

527
00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I've got Kate new it can't tract

528
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:25,879
Speaker 1: yet I got like one sentence from me thinking of you.

529
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:26,400
Speaker 3: Yeah.

530
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:28,359
Speaker 4: Yeah.

531
00:26:28,359 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 3: So to be in the energy as often as you can.

532
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:34,080
Speaker 2: I think as well like any I used to get

533
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:36,400
Speaker 2: when I first started practicing as a nutritionist. I've never

534
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:38,320
Speaker 2: talked about this, but I used to get psychically attacked.

535
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:40,480
Speaker 2: So I fall asleep at night feeling like someone was

536
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:44,040
Speaker 2: strangling me. It was like this, yeah, tell me before

537
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:49,679
Speaker 2: the eyes of liqu that live. And I remember I

538
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:51,680
Speaker 2: spoke to like a healop and I was always kept

539
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:54,600
Speaker 2: doing and dreaming of reptiles. And there was another natural

540
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:56,440
Speaker 2: path that was really hippie, and we were going through

541
00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:59,159
Speaker 2: our studies together and she was like and I was like,

542
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 2: oh man, I had this last night. You were sitting

543
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:02,199
Speaker 2: the other side of a creek and there was a

544
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 2: baby crocodile between us. And she's like, I'm talking to

545
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:06,919
Speaker 2: you after class and I was like, oh my god,

546
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:08,520
Speaker 2: what have I done? And she's like, you're dreaming of

547
00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 2: reptilian energy. Something's up with you. And I was like,

548
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:14,320
Speaker 2: and I'm like, you're getting hooked by your clients. So

549
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:16,639
Speaker 2: we where we practiced at Union, we were next door

550
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:18,880
Speaker 2: to a mental asylum, and so you'd get a lot

551
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 2: of interesting cases just by being next door to an

552
00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 2: institution that looked up for very interesting souls. And I

553
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:28,919
Speaker 2: yead fall asleep. And the ritual that they gave me

554
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:31,520
Speaker 2: one was always come from love. And if you have

555
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:34,840
Speaker 2: this feeling, just saying over your mantras, I love you,

556
00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:37,280
Speaker 2: I love you, I love you, And by saying I

557
00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:39,280
Speaker 2: love you to another, you naturally are saying I love

558
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:41,640
Speaker 2: you to yourself. And then they got me to burn

559
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:43,560
Speaker 2: frank concense and I had to burn it in like

560
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:46,280
Speaker 2: an old pot around my bedroom and then that stopped.

561
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:49,120
Speaker 5: Man, when you go deep with this energetic stuff, it's

562
00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:54,399
Speaker 5: like big so much not to like scare people or

563
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:59,400
Speaker 5: to but there's this you know, the veil is then, yeah,

564
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:03,320
Speaker 5: the veil is then between this world and the benevolent

565
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:06,320
Speaker 5: or whatever else is on the other side that we're

566
00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:10,640
Speaker 5: not necessarily that most of us can't see.

567
00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:12,880
Speaker 2: But you could feel for people going, oh god, guys,

568
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:18,040
Speaker 2: you've just gone on like an astral tangent, speaking cosmically,

569
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:21,240
Speaker 2: but I think for people listening that go and can't

570
00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:23,119
Speaker 2: relate to that, come back to your intuition. You when

571
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:26,480
Speaker 2: you get that gut feeling that's often feeling bigger than yourself,

572
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:28,840
Speaker 2: Like you know, when you get or you'll see someone,

573
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,000
Speaker 2: you'll get a feeling in your heart. Like the first

574
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:34,320
Speaker 2: time I ever filmed a documentary, I was not even

575
00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:37,560
Speaker 2: twenty one, and I could feel warmth in my heart

576
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:41,640
Speaker 2: on a physical level. So I think these things like that,

577
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:42,400
Speaker 2: to me, I'm.

578
00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:44,080
Speaker 1: Like, there is something bigger out there.

579
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:47,800
Speaker 2: Not to digress too much, but because this still very

580
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:49,080
Speaker 2: much comes back to energy.

581
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:51,600
Speaker 1: But you are a new.

582
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 2: Mamma, pretty new mamma, so Alice is just termed one.

583
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:57,920
Speaker 2: But also you're a stepmom pretty much, aren't you.

584
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:01,080
Speaker 1: How does that feel? And how how did that? Was

585
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 1: that an interesting transition? Or yeah?

586
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:10,400
Speaker 5: It was interesting because my partner's son is ten, but

587
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:15,360
Speaker 5: when I first met him, he was what eight? No,

588
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:18,440
Speaker 5: it was not, he was seven, I reckon it was

589
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:21,160
Speaker 5: like about three years. Yeah, yeah, it's been longer than

590
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:27,160
Speaker 5: to be sure, it's gone very quickly. So yeah, a

591
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:30,640
Speaker 5: transition to it into it really easy to begin with

592
00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:33,280
Speaker 5: his great kid. He's one of those kids that's kind

593
00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:36,840
Speaker 5: of good at everything. And yeah, he's around adults a lot,

594
00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:40,720
Speaker 5: so you forget that he's only ten years old. You know,

595
00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 5: like it's challenging when you have a baby. You know,

596
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:47,440
Speaker 5: I'd be breastfeeding at night times when I would normally

597
00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:50,160
Speaker 5: go into bed with Lewis and read him a book,

598
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:52,200
Speaker 5: and that's and stuff. So yeah, there were a few

599
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:56,960
Speaker 5: little riffs when that came up. But I mean, I'm

600
00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 5: so lucky that I have this other child that he's

601
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:02,800
Speaker 5: in my life all the time, and he teaches me

602
00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:08,320
Speaker 5: so much about myself around you know, patience and self worth.

603
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:10,720
Speaker 5: And you know, he's a ten year old. He's pushing

604
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:14,360
Speaker 5: the boundaries. He's pushing every button imaginable. And I've come

605
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:17,960
Speaker 5: into this halftime. It's not like he's grown up with

606
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:22,080
Speaker 5: me always being around, so that one's an interesting dynamic.

607
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:23,880
Speaker 3: But yeah, it wouldn't change it for the world.

608
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:27,360
Speaker 5: It's yeah, he's I would say he's one of my

609
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:28,160
Speaker 5: biggest teachers.

610
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:29,560
Speaker 1: Oh, how cool is that?

611
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:33,960
Speaker 2: And quickly it'd be rude for me to not mention

612
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 2: that your.

613
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:37,720
Speaker 1: Partner Andrew John's I'm saying that right.

614
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:39,520
Speaker 2: I don't want to because I said when I'm Wikipedia,

615
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:43,240
Speaker 2: there's all these nicknames Joey Joey. Yeah, and because I'm

616
00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:46,320
Speaker 2: from Melbourne, NRL is not where I fl But he's

617
00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:49,560
Speaker 2: like he was like the king of NRL, like best

618
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:50,800
Speaker 2: player in thirty years.

619
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:53,720
Speaker 1: All that like a big deal, right, I guess.

620
00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 2: So as I say this, case go yeah yeah, yeah,

621
00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:00,480
Speaker 2: yeah yeah yeah. But like I remember, I remember this

622
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:03,000
Speaker 2: because I was training with my trainer Dan, our mate

623
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:05,320
Speaker 2: Dana Dare. Shout out to danade ps, miss you come

624
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 2: back from my labileys.

625
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:10,400
Speaker 1: He's in credit. I was training and he asked about you,

626
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:13,440
Speaker 1: and he's like far out his training, He's.

627
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:15,480
Speaker 2: Like, how's Kate, And I'm like, mate, I haven't seen

628
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:16,880
Speaker 2: him for a couple of weeks because you and I

629
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:19,280
Speaker 2: when I lived not in Pado, we go a few

630
00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:21,520
Speaker 2: weeks and then kind of then have our little soul

631
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:25,680
Speaker 2: hangs and then have our little catch ups and he's like,

632
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:30,480
Speaker 2: you know, you know she's dating and so Andrew was

633
00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:33,640
Speaker 2: like hero to Dan and I think he was like

634
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:35,360
Speaker 2: the guy's hero from when I.

635
00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:37,520
Speaker 3: Got stab him. Girls kind of don't even know who

636
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:38,680
Speaker 3: he is so much.

637
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:40,840
Speaker 1: Ah, so he was am I saying, right, was he

638
00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:42,160
Speaker 1: like iconic in there?

639
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:42,840
Speaker 3: Yeah?

640
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:45,760
Speaker 5: Rugby League? Yeah yeah, yeah, so he played for Newcastle.

641
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,320
Speaker 5: Uh yeah, so that that one was a weird one

642
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 5: that happened. How I meet We met through a mutual

643
00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:55,720
Speaker 5: friends so I see give yoga lessons to the South

644
00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:58,440
Speaker 5: Sidney rabbit Oz and was a guy there, Mick Crocker,

645
00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:02,160
Speaker 5: who I'm still really good friends with, and we were

646
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:03,920
Speaker 5: walking Bonard de Bronti together one day.

647
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:05,400
Speaker 3: We'd always have really good love chats.

648
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:07,040
Speaker 5: Mick and I were talking about a girl that he

649
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:10,040
Speaker 5: was dating at the time, who he's actually now still dating.

650
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:12,040
Speaker 3: We don't really call it dating. They're like full.

651
00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:17,120
Speaker 5: Together and I don't think, well, no, I wasn't dating anyone.

652
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:21,360
Speaker 5: And we're walking through Brontie Park and I saw Andrew

653
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:24,760
Speaker 5: and I kind of knew who he was, but I

654
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 5: didn't really pay any attention because I probably had not

655
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:34,239
Speaker 5: a great perception of him. So really he was as

656
00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:38,680
Speaker 5: a party guy, right yeah, yeah, And then Mick obviously

657
00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:41,760
Speaker 5: talked to him and started and he actually had a

658
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:44,720
Speaker 5: flyer in his hand for yoga and he's like, oh,

659
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:48,760
Speaker 5: do you do yoga? This is Andrew and yes, do

660
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:50,480
Speaker 5: you know where I can do it? And I said yes,

661
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:52,400
Speaker 5: and I told him there's this place in Paddington. I

662
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:56,400
Speaker 5: didn't say, you know, I found and so he started

663
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:58,400
Speaker 5: coming to classes and I look, it really just started

664
00:32:58,400 --> 00:32:58,720
Speaker 5: from there.

665
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:01,480
Speaker 3: It was very sort of that's pretty cute. Yeah, it's

666
00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:02,240
Speaker 3: pretty cute.

667
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:04,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, he doesn't do as much yoga now that he's

668
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 5: got the girl, but and he's an ad of a surfer, right, yeah,

669
00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:11,000
Speaker 5: he's so that's his that's his medicine is surfing. Yeah.

670
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:14,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, I had to ask that. I'm like, I know,

671
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:16,240
Speaker 2: someone will murder me if I don't ask that stuff.

672
00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 2: Like it's just I know, it feels funny. But then

673
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:22,880
Speaker 2: this day and age like you and that's the thing

674
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:25,680
Speaker 2: about you. Like when Dan told me that, I was like,

675
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:28,240
Speaker 2: what do you mean? Like I you never You're just

676
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:31,480
Speaker 2: like I'm dating this guy, and so like I.

677
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:33,640
Speaker 5: Think when you know he you know, I've been to

678
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:36,440
Speaker 5: that many kind of events with him and football events

679
00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:39,000
Speaker 5: and that and stuff, and I constantly hear the accolades

680
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:41,320
Speaker 5: and you know, there's a lot of them, and he

681
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:44,560
Speaker 5: was remarkable and he's a remarkable human being.

682
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:47,520
Speaker 2: But to me he's Andrew. Yes, so it kind of

683
00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:55,640
Speaker 2: feels face kind of goes like deadband Andrew. That's pretty cool.

684
00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:58,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, he's just he's this Andrew and he's like me,

685
00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:00,720
Speaker 5: he's got his ship, he's got stuff going on.

686
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:01,520
Speaker 1: Yah, but who does it?

687
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:04,160
Speaker 3: He's human, he's yeah.

688
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:07,240
Speaker 1: Oh man, thank you for thank you for asking that.

689
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:11,960
Speaker 1: So just to just to go back to the not

690
00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:14,280
Speaker 1: to the start or anything like that, but like.

691
00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:21,320
Speaker 2: The the wonderful but scary Pandora's Box that you opened

692
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:25,400
Speaker 2: earlier on now fast tracking, so that was like the

693
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:28,719
Speaker 2: teen years boarding school and then times of stress. It

694
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:30,719
Speaker 2: to be easy to kind of be triggered again but

695
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:34,479
Speaker 2: not fully in it. How does that then feel now?

696
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:37,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, it feels way better, Like if I feel about

697
00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:39,680
Speaker 5: if I kind of feel and whenever you ask me

698
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:40,520
Speaker 5: this and you and I have.

699
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 3: This thing, how's your heart?

700
00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:44,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, if my heart around it, it feels a lot lighter.

701
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:45,800
Speaker 3: I won't lie.

702
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:54,040
Speaker 5: There are times that I.

703
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:53,160
Speaker 3: Want to revert to it as a coping mechanism.

704
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:53,759
Speaker 1: Same here.

705
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:55,200
Speaker 3: There are times.

706
00:34:56,640 --> 00:34:59,839
Speaker 5: And like when you have anorexia and anyone who has

707
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:02,160
Speaker 5: some kind of eating disorder, you know.

708
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:03,279
Speaker 3: They say that they are.

709
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:06,960
Speaker 5: They say that they are traditionally very hard to cure

710
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:10,440
Speaker 5: because if you're addicted to heroin, you stop taking heroin.

711
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:14,040
Speaker 5: If you're addicted to alcohol, you're not allowed to drink alcohol.

712
00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:17,200
Speaker 5: You have to eat to survive. That's why they're so

713
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:21,279
Speaker 5: hard to cure. So it's a daily process of checking in.

714
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:23,480
Speaker 5: And that's why I also say thank God for yoga,

715
00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 5: thank God for meditation, thank God for my spiritual eighteen,

716
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:31,240
Speaker 5: thank God for my supportive friends and family, because without them,

717
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:32,680
Speaker 5: who knows, it could be dead.

718
00:35:34,160 --> 00:35:35,799
Speaker 3: So it's a daily check in.

719
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:45,520
Speaker 5: But it's been a really long, sickening, literally hard at times, lonely, dark,

720
00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:48,439
Speaker 5: dark road. I think when I was single at one

721
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:55,520
Speaker 5: stage it was hard because I'm living by myself and

722
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:56,600
Speaker 5: there's no one watching me.

723
00:35:57,120 --> 00:36:00,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've found I'm worse when I'm by myself. Although

724
00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:02,600
Speaker 2: I think I'm going to be better, I'm definitely worse

725
00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:03,520
Speaker 2: run by myself.

726
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 3: Isn't it funny that.

727
00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:10,279
Speaker 5: I was reading this book recently that said that interpersonal relationships,

728
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:13,600
Speaker 5: that's where you do all, that's where you're healing happens.

729
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:15,480
Speaker 5: It's very easy to be single. It's very easy to

730
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:17,640
Speaker 5: be not what that being single is wrong and that

731
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:20,960
Speaker 5: you can't choose that for yourself because for some people

732
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:25,200
Speaker 5: that's just the best way totally to me, but for me,

733
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:27,600
Speaker 5: all of my healing and all of my stuff comes

734
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:30,640
Speaker 5: up and I'm confronted with everything when I've got someone

735
00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:34,400
Speaker 5: right there but yet a boyfriend, a friend, family.

736
00:36:34,239 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 1: But that is you.

737
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:38,120
Speaker 2: You are someone that connects. I believe that that's inately

738
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:42,400
Speaker 2: within your heart. You thrive off being connected. And I

739
00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:46,279
Speaker 2: love when we did do that trip to Alaru, and

740
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:48,279
Speaker 2: that's why I say to you, like, I remember when

741
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:50,759
Speaker 2: you were, like I said to my boyfriend at the time,

742
00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:53,440
Speaker 2: you were like, oh, I don't feel good around this today.

743
00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:56,000
Speaker 2: And it's empowered me because I will say to my

744
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:57,600
Speaker 2: boyfriend like I said at the start, like I'll be

745
00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:00,960
Speaker 2: like I feel shit about food today, dude, And he's like, right,

746
00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:01,839
Speaker 2: how are we going to handle this?

747
00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:03,680
Speaker 1: How are we going to do this as a team.

748
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:06,439
Speaker 2: Whereas I've used to being and I'm the same, I'm

749
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:09,839
Speaker 2: used to kind of hiding it and dealing with it.

750
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:11,239
Speaker 3: And why do we hide it?

751
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:17,879
Speaker 5: Because shame shame, and we want for me personally, I wanted.

752
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:19,879
Speaker 3: To seem perfect.

753
00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:24,280
Speaker 5: Everyone was, especially early on in my career. Everyone's looking

754
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:26,480
Speaker 5: at me. I'm a yoga teacher. Oh, she must have

755
00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:30,000
Speaker 5: a really healthy diet. She must be, you know, spiritually.

756
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:33,080
Speaker 3: On a game. This is why we do it. This

757
00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:35,880
Speaker 3: is why we practice yoga, This is why we meditate,

758
00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:38,960
Speaker 3: because we're a fucking massive We're not.

759
00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:42,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like your self few form of self care.

760
00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:45,120
Speaker 1: Like that's that for you. I feel as a non negotiable.

761
00:37:45,160 --> 00:37:48,000
Speaker 2: For me, it is too, But like yogs and meditation

762
00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:51,720
Speaker 2: is like, so you do twenty minute morning, twenty minute night, right, bady,

763
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:52,680
Speaker 2: that was a game change.

764
00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:56,080
Speaker 4: We've trained under the same dude. Did you train under Leroy?

765
00:37:56,520 --> 00:38:01,160
Speaker 5: No kind of well. Leroy trained under Jackie, who I

766
00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:02,680
Speaker 5: learned from got the Broad Place.

767
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:05,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, I thought he was.

768
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:07,879
Speaker 3: I thought he was same, all same.

769
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:10,640
Speaker 2: We're talking all the meditation big wigs right now in

770
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:16,800
Speaker 2: Australia if you're listening, amazing human being quickly again, I digress,

771
00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:21,719
Speaker 2: but I do want it. There was one failure you

772
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:24,800
Speaker 2: mentioned before, and it was that you were engaged. Yeah,

773
00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:29,160
Speaker 2: so I remember this story from ages ago. Please take

774
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:30,600
Speaker 2: it away, please.

775
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:31,080
Speaker 3: Hey, please?

776
00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:34,880
Speaker 5: And you know I would hate for this person to

777
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:39,320
Speaker 5: listen to this and think, oh, okay, right, But actually

778
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:42,160
Speaker 5: I thank you so much. You know who it is.

779
00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:44,399
Speaker 5: If you're listening, I thank you so much. And we're

780
00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:47,120
Speaker 5: both so much happier. I know that he's got a

781
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:49,560
Speaker 5: child now and he's hopefully really happy.

782
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:55,160
Speaker 3: And so yeah. There was a guy who I was

783
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:56,000
Speaker 3: with for a couple.

784
00:38:55,840 --> 00:39:02,640
Speaker 5: Of years and I think I just started teaching yoga. No,

785
00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:04,600
Speaker 5: I've been teaching for a couple of years actually, but

786
00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:07,080
Speaker 5: I was still having trouble with the whole using my

787
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:09,680
Speaker 5: voice thing. I'm still struggling with the eating stuff.

788
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:12,120
Speaker 3: And he.

789
00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:17,439
Speaker 5: I felt always felt, intuitively know talking about that gut

790
00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:19,120
Speaker 5: feeling or feeling something in your heart.

791
00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:21,560
Speaker 3: I always felt like he was hiding something from me.

792
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:25,840
Speaker 5: Just goes to show that when you're not honest with yourself,

793
00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:27,560
Speaker 5: other people aren't going to be honest with you either.

794
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:32,600
Speaker 5: But I sensed that he wasn't being faithful. And we

795
00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:37,239
Speaker 5: went on this trip to Bali and we went to

796
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:42,480
Speaker 5: a beautiful island called Nusa Lambongen beautiful, and he'd organized

797
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:46,560
Speaker 5: his day of diving with the mantray and I remember

798
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:49,080
Speaker 5: the day so clearly because we got to the manta ray,

799
00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:54,000
Speaker 5: and I was both really excited and so scared, so

800
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:57,040
Speaker 5: scared at the idea of diving in huge.

801
00:39:57,200 --> 00:40:00,640
Speaker 3: Enormous aren't they huge? Get in?

802
00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:03,239
Speaker 5: They'm gentle by the way, they look really placid, and

803
00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:07,360
Speaker 5: they're gentle, and we get in. And so in the

804
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:08,960
Speaker 5: beginning you sort of at the surface, and then you

805
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:10,400
Speaker 5: get a bit more confident.

806
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:11,799
Speaker 3: And you go down and down and down, and then

807
00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:14,840
Speaker 3: you look up and you can just see these mammoth

808
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 3: mysterious manta ray is just circling above, just like hole.

809
00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:21,560
Speaker 3: What do you call them school? Let's call them school

810
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:22,120
Speaker 3: a mantarey.

811
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:26,319
Speaker 5: And it's quite profound, it was thinking about it now,

812
00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:27,839
Speaker 5: I get the hair sticking up.

813
00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:28,960
Speaker 3: It was profound.

814
00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:31,719
Speaker 5: Anyway, we kind of had enough of that and were

815
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:34,320
Speaker 5: swimming off a little bit and we came out of

816
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:36,879
Speaker 5: the water and I remember looking at him and I went,

817
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:39,520
Speaker 5: holy shit, he's gonna ask me to marry him. Like

818
00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:41,160
Speaker 5: I didn't know what was going to happen until I

819
00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:44,680
Speaker 5: knew in that moment. I hadn't thought about it, and

820
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:49,120
Speaker 5: he did. And I just remember looking straight through him,

821
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:51,640
Speaker 5: wishing that I was a mermaid, and then I could

822
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:57,279
Speaker 5: swim away because my whole body was a no. My

823
00:40:57,520 --> 00:41:00,520
Speaker 5: heart was a no. But I was too afraid to

824
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:01,120
Speaker 5: voice it.

825
00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:02,240
Speaker 3: Why.

826
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:05,080
Speaker 5: I was afraid that I'd ruin a trip, that I'd

827
00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:09,880
Speaker 5: heard his feelings. Yeah, all of those things, and that

828
00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 5: was probably a part of me that was like what if, though,

829
00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:14,200
Speaker 5: And the funny thing is.

830
00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:18,440
Speaker 3: I never said yes, never said it was a weird thing.

831
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:19,239
Speaker 3: I never said yes.

832
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:22,520
Speaker 5: I made up all these excuses like did you ask

833
00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:25,840
Speaker 5: my dad? No, Well, let's wait till you ask my dad,

834
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:28,319
Speaker 5: and just so I came up with all these excuses.

835
00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:30,360
Speaker 5: In that moment though, when he looked through him, no,

836
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:33,160
Speaker 5: we're on the bottom the way back, well, he knew

837
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:35,399
Speaker 5: that something was up and he held me and he said,

838
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:36,799
Speaker 5: I'll never hurt you, and I hope.

839
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:39,280
Speaker 3: I was just scared. I was scared anyway.

840
00:41:39,719 --> 00:41:42,319
Speaker 5: I don't know how it snowballed into this, but we

841
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:46,360
Speaker 5: had an engagement party, and then a couple of weeks

842
00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:48,880
Speaker 5: later I asked him again, was he faithful? And he

843
00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:53,440
Speaker 5: finally told me the truth and that was it for me.

844
00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:57,000
Speaker 1: So he cheated on you? Yeah, And I s that.

845
00:41:57,640 --> 00:41:59,440
Speaker 3: I sensed that it wasn't the first time, you know,

846
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:01,040
Speaker 3: you know.

847
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:06,839
Speaker 5: A woman, I feel if they really like, maybe you

848
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:10,879
Speaker 5: can light to yourself and push it down. But I

849
00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:14,920
Speaker 5: was feeling enough at that time to know that I

850
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:15,800
Speaker 5: knew it was wrong.

851
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:16,600
Speaker 3: So that was a.

852
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:20,600
Speaker 5: Massive failure slash learning slash magic moment for me.

853
00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:25,479
Speaker 3: In you know what, in not being clear in that moment, not.

854
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:29,080
Speaker 5: Only did I hurt myself, but I had him ultimately

855
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:32,480
Speaker 5: as well. So it was a great lesson in speak

856
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:35,160
Speaker 5: your truth, be plain, be simple, be direct, because when

857
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:37,600
Speaker 5: you're not direct, look what happens.

858
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:39,839
Speaker 2: This is going to be really deep what I say

859
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:42,640
Speaker 2: now and could have been to some listeners, But you

860
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:45,000
Speaker 2: know how you feel like your journey has been Am

861
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:45,439
Speaker 2: I enough?

862
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:46,120
Speaker 1: I'm not enough?

863
00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:49,560
Speaker 2: I'm not a This like going into a relationship feeling

864
00:42:49,719 --> 00:42:54,399
Speaker 2: like you're not enough and then projecting that Like that

865
00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:56,719
Speaker 2: could on an energetic level, that could be like the

866
00:42:56,719 --> 00:43:01,800
Speaker 2: playing field for where cheating can happen because your energy

867
00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:03,880
Speaker 2: is I don't really love who I am and I

868
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:06,160
Speaker 2: don't believe that I'm enough for myself, for you, So

869
00:43:06,239 --> 00:43:08,840
Speaker 2: for myself or anyone else, I'm absolutely not blaming you.

870
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:12,840
Speaker 1: I don't condone cheating. I think that it was probably scumback.

871
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:12,880
Speaker 4: To do that.

872
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:17,719
Speaker 2: But on an energetic, very spiritual level, Like, I agree

873
00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:21,680
Speaker 2: with you. It's like I know dating people as well.

874
00:43:21,719 --> 00:43:23,480
Speaker 2: I'm like, I asked for that because I actually have

875
00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:25,360
Speaker 2: low self worth, so they're going to treat me like

876
00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:26,040
Speaker 2: shit worths.

877
00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:28,839
Speaker 5: Like, yeah, i'mknew from the beginning that he wasn't right.

878
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:34,200
Speaker 5: In fact, some of my two best male friends. One

879
00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:36,080
Speaker 5: of them was a bit gentle about it and the

880
00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:37,240
Speaker 5: other one was really direct.

881
00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:38,239
Speaker 1: I love that.

882
00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:40,439
Speaker 3: So my friend Carl, I don't know if you've met him.

883
00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:44,319
Speaker 5: He's from Manchester and I won't even try to do

884
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:48,240
Speaker 5: it in his mank accent, but he said he called

885
00:43:48,239 --> 00:43:49,160
Speaker 5: me after meeting him.

886
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:50,680
Speaker 3: For the first time. Oh my god, I feel like

887
00:43:50,719 --> 00:43:51,719
Speaker 3: such a bitch talking about this.

888
00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:54,040
Speaker 5: But anyway, I don't think you ever listen And he said,

889
00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:57,640
Speaker 5: are you fucking kidding? And then my other best so

890
00:43:57,719 --> 00:43:59,120
Speaker 5: he was not a fan at all, he was like,

891
00:43:59,120 --> 00:43:59,919
Speaker 5: what are you fucking doing?

892
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:01,040
Speaker 1: This is not gonna work.

893
00:44:01,360 --> 00:44:05,080
Speaker 5: And then my other Bessie Macha, said I just don't

894
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:05,840
Speaker 5: want you to settle.

895
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:10,160
Speaker 3: But I didn't need them to say that. I knew. Wow,

896
00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:12,239
Speaker 3: and again this is not.

897
00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:16,040
Speaker 1: Good mates by the way, they're the real deal.

898
00:44:16,239 --> 00:44:18,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, and we all go through things, and we all

899
00:44:18,120 --> 00:44:21,480
Speaker 5: have our moments of you know, being in our ego

900
00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:24,799
Speaker 5: like maybe he was at the time. But and you

901
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:27,600
Speaker 5: and I, I know we've had this conversation before, and

902
00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:29,600
Speaker 5: I will still argue on you on it. I think

903
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:32,400
Speaker 5: at our core, I think everyone is good, whereas you

904
00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:35,360
Speaker 5: would say, I know we've said this before, some people.

905
00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:37,520
Speaker 1: Are some people were not nice.

906
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:41,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I think at this person's core in the room,

907
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:44,080
Speaker 3: I think at his core.

908
00:44:44,120 --> 00:44:46,839
Speaker 5: Mixiance, he's a good person, I don't know, and he's

909
00:44:46,880 --> 00:44:47,520
Speaker 5: got a good heart.

910
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:49,280
Speaker 3: At his core. There were just a few.

911
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:52,120
Speaker 1: Layers yeah, yeah, and life lessons and whatnot.

912
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:56,640
Speaker 2: Totally, and you're a much kinder human than I am.

913
00:44:56,680 --> 00:44:59,040
Speaker 2: I like, as soon as I'm wrong, I'm like, see ya,

914
00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:01,280
Speaker 2: But like I get very.

915
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:03,840
Speaker 1: Fierce for some reason.

916
00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:06,440
Speaker 2: I don't know why, but I think I think I

917
00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:09,040
Speaker 2: would now that I have grown up a bit and

918
00:45:09,239 --> 00:45:13,320
Speaker 2: I do understand this concept that yeah, people are good,

919
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:16,400
Speaker 2: and then shit can happen and affect the way that

920
00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:19,000
Speaker 2: they are that isn't true to themselves. And I can

921
00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:23,719
Speaker 2: understand that that maybe would have been what your ex was.

922
00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:24,759
Speaker 1: In total, I think it.

923
00:45:24,760 --> 00:45:28,160
Speaker 5: Was magically freeing for him. What happened as well as

924
00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:28,520
Speaker 5: for me.

925
00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:31,520
Speaker 1: So I can't believe we're almost a time? How crazy?

926
00:45:31,560 --> 00:45:32,799
Speaker 1: How fast does that go? Quick?

927
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:36,919
Speaker 2: So quick said with such goes quick? Lower I knew

928
00:45:37,080 --> 00:45:37,640
Speaker 2: to go quick.

929
00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:39,520
Speaker 1: Ah. I love that.

930
00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:43,480
Speaker 2: For somebody, So two things I'd love you to speak

931
00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:46,040
Speaker 2: to really quickly. So for someone that doesn't feel like

932
00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:49,480
Speaker 2: there enough or is struggling with any element that could

933
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:51,319
Speaker 2: be linked back to self worth, So it doesn't need

934
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:51,800
Speaker 2: to be eating.

935
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:52,399
Speaker 1: It could be.

936
00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:58,200
Speaker 2: Perfectionist in other ways, what would your like little nugget

937
00:45:58,239 --> 00:46:00,200
Speaker 2: of advice be for someone that's just like, fuck, I'm

938
00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 2: not happy with myself, I'm not happy the way I look,

939
00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:03,839
Speaker 2: I'm happy the way I am, I'm like and the.

940
00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:05,279
Speaker 1: Kind of quite hard on themselves.

941
00:46:07,239 --> 00:46:11,080
Speaker 5: Okay, So I would think that part of them that

942
00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:16,000
Speaker 5: is so striving because I think that if I didn't

943
00:46:16,040 --> 00:46:18,719
Speaker 5: have that discipline that I talked about when I was

944
00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:22,360
Speaker 5: anorexic and know how to redirect it, I wouldn't have

945
00:46:22,440 --> 00:46:25,680
Speaker 5: had the hustle to create a business or ECourses or

946
00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:28,560
Speaker 5: write a book totally, or do anything that I really

947
00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:31,560
Speaker 5: wanted to do in this world. So thank it for that,

948
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:38,719
Speaker 5: and then find ways to redirect that those perfectionist qualities

949
00:46:38,719 --> 00:46:43,840
Speaker 5: into things that you're really passionate about. Seek help, talk,

950
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:46,520
Speaker 5: try and take the shame out of it. I think

951
00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:49,800
Speaker 5: talking about it, talking about it has been hugely, hugely

952
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:50,359
Speaker 5: healing from.

953
00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:52,000
Speaker 3: Me, especially over the past couple of years.

954
00:46:53,840 --> 00:46:57,400
Speaker 5: And you know it sounds so, you know, everyone says it,

955
00:46:57,440 --> 00:47:00,880
Speaker 5: but I just learn learn to love yourself and to

956
00:47:00,920 --> 00:47:02,080
Speaker 5: be easier on yourself.

957
00:47:02,960 --> 00:47:06,759
Speaker 1: Go easy. I like that. I think, like, you beat

958
00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:08,719
Speaker 1: yourself up so well I do.

959
00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:11,600
Speaker 5: And then even hear myself say that, And you know,

960
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:13,560
Speaker 5: I used to hear people say that to me and

961
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:14,759
Speaker 5: therapists say that to me.

962
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:16,440
Speaker 3: I'm like, but I don't fucking know how to love it.

963
00:47:16,560 --> 00:47:19,240
Speaker 5: How do you love yourself? And I think it's something

964
00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:22,600
Speaker 5: that happens gradually. It's in the little things, like you

965
00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:25,960
Speaker 5: know what, I'm going to choose to take that bath

966
00:47:26,320 --> 00:47:29,080
Speaker 5: over go on a Friday night instead of going out

967
00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:32,200
Speaker 5: every Friday night and annihilating myself for I'm going to

968
00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:34,360
Speaker 5: choose to go to yoga instead of hang out with

969
00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:37,040
Speaker 5: toxic people who goss up and bitch.

970
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:39,800
Speaker 3: Just it's the small little things.

971
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:42,640
Speaker 2: I love this and you've just opened up my last

972
00:47:42,800 --> 00:47:45,080
Speaker 2: little thing, and that is obviously yoga.

973
00:47:45,239 --> 00:47:45,840
Speaker 1: Is your passion.

974
00:47:46,239 --> 00:47:49,000
Speaker 2: You love videoks and you teach beautiful yolks class if

975
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:50,319
Speaker 2: you not mistake goggles.

976
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:51,120
Speaker 3: At the end.

977
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:53,640
Speaker 2: She's been my favorite thing. The cases you flick, what

978
00:47:53,640 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 2: would you do?

979
00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:54,520
Speaker 4: Put?

980
00:47:54,640 --> 00:47:56,600
Speaker 1: You put your hands like I'm doing it, So what

981
00:47:56,680 --> 00:47:57,200
Speaker 1: am I doing?

982
00:47:57,840 --> 00:47:59,759
Speaker 5: So you bring your index fingers and thumbs together and

983
00:47:59,840 --> 00:48:01,919
Speaker 5: something we used to do after flow after dark, which

984
00:48:01,920 --> 00:48:03,719
Speaker 5: are the yoga silent disc goes that we do.

985
00:48:04,360 --> 00:48:06,760
Speaker 3: So you bring indext fingers and thumbs together.

986
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:11,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, and then you sort of turn them upside down

987
00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:14,319
Speaker 5: and it's really strong for the risks and you put

988
00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:16,040
Speaker 5: them like God, I can't find know it's hard for

989
00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:17,560
Speaker 5: the risks a lot.

990
00:48:18,120 --> 00:48:19,640
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get a fight out over doing it. So

991
00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:21,480
Speaker 1: you can see and I'll put on instat.

992
00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:25,880
Speaker 2: So for those people that either people of yoga or

993
00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:27,839
Speaker 2: they've been to yo class and it wasn't quite for them,

994
00:48:27,960 --> 00:48:31,359
Speaker 2: because there's different types of schools and studios, what is

995
00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:33,520
Speaker 2: one just little pinch advice to dip each owl in

996
00:48:33,520 --> 00:48:34,200
Speaker 2: the yoga pool?

997
00:48:35,080 --> 00:48:37,560
Speaker 5: Well maybe, first of all, I'm not dogmatic about it

998
00:48:37,560 --> 00:48:40,600
Speaker 5: because I don't. Sometimes just you're just not into yoga.

999
00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:42,560
Speaker 3: That's fine. We can find out yoga.

1000
00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:46,360
Speaker 5: We can find out medicine to me in anything. To me,

1001
00:48:46,600 --> 00:48:51,640
Speaker 5: a yogi is someone who in some way practices presence,

1002
00:48:53,200 --> 00:48:56,680
Speaker 5: Like yeah, where Yogi's just for having this connected conversation.

1003
00:48:56,719 --> 00:49:00,440
Speaker 5: We're practicing yoga just by connecting to each other. Practicing

1004
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:02,640
Speaker 5: yoga when you do something really kind or you really

1005
00:49:02,680 --> 00:49:06,399
Speaker 5: compassionate to someone else, you this is such a yoga actor.

1006
00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:10,719
Speaker 5: You're giving me this beautiful rose Quarts quick Crystal. So

1007
00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:13,600
Speaker 5: first of all, that you can practice yoga, you're not chanctioned.

1008
00:49:13,840 --> 00:49:14,839
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love that.

1009
00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:16,960
Speaker 5: And then if you wanted to dip your toe in

1010
00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:20,800
Speaker 5: or you weren't sure, you kind of just got to

1011
00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:22,799
Speaker 5: try a few things until you see you find a

1012
00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:25,279
Speaker 5: teacher that you resonate with, a studio that resonate with

1013
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:27,839
Speaker 5: the so many online programs.

1014
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:28,239
Speaker 3: As well that you can do.

1015
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:29,879
Speaker 1: Love that.

1016
00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:32,880
Speaker 2: Just try it and try it on until it feels

1017
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:34,760
Speaker 2: good and connect.

1018
00:49:35,160 --> 00:49:36,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're awesome, Cake, Kendal.

1019
00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:39,640
Speaker 3: Thanks also, thank you for doing this for having me.

1020
00:49:39,800 --> 00:49:42,720
Speaker 3: You're amazed. Bye bye.

1021
00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:50,080
Speaker 2: That's a wrap on another episode of Fearlessly Failing. As always,

1022
00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:53,600
Speaker 2: thank you to our guests, and let's continue the conversation

1023
00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:54,600
Speaker 2: on Instagram.

1024
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:57,279
Speaker 1: I'm at Yamo Lolla Berry.

1025
00:49:57,960 --> 00:50:01,719
Speaker 2: This potty my word for podcast fast is available on

1026
00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:05,680
Speaker 2: all streaming platforms. I'd love it if you could subscribe,

1027
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:09,000
Speaker 2: rate and comment, and of course spread the love.