Speaker 1: Hello, my name is Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud
Speaker 1: Order Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Let's get into it. She's on the Money.
Speaker 3: She's on the Money.
Speaker 2: Hello and welcome to She's on the Money podcast that
Speaker 2: makes personal finance fun, especially on Fridays. It's our favorite
Speaker 2: day of the week because we get to get the
Speaker 2: team together and celebrate you our incredible shoes on the
Speaker 2: Money community. Today, mister is going to be sharing our
Speaker 2: favorite money wins from the community. Miss Bech Sayed is
Speaker 2: going to be sharing herbroke tips. This week, We're going
Speaker 2: to be helping to answer a juicy money dilemma, which
Speaker 2: this week is all about what to do when you're
Speaker 2: feeling like you're more your partner's financial manager than their teammate.
Speaker 2: And we're going to unpack something spicy that you split
Speaker 2: into our dams about this week. We're chatting about what's
Speaker 2: more important helping a friend in need or keeping their
Speaker 2: secret juicy.
Speaker 4: So cute.
Speaker 2: Before we get there, though, miss Bech sayed, how has
Speaker 2: your week been? Really nice?
Speaker 5: I moved house, we were evicted. I feel like I
Speaker 5: mentioned that.
Speaker 2: It's about to say it's a common things.
Speaker 5: It feels like it's happened a few times, but honestly,
Speaker 5: it's just the one move. Actually, yeah, it's been a
Speaker 5: long long time coming.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I feel like you've just had property dramas
Speaker 2: for the last twelve months, Like yeah, it's just it's
Speaker 2: just frustrating.
Speaker 5: It's one about it was a share house like more
Speaker 5: than ten years, so the crap in this house is
Speaker 5: like outrageous. That's still a bit of a dump.
Speaker 2: But anyway, and you just know that it would have
Speaker 2: cost six billion dollars as well, like obviously when the
Speaker 2: owner bought it was four dollars. But then you just
Speaker 2: know that the property, even though it's a dank sharehouse,
Speaker 2: it's probably worth four.
Speaker 5: Meal or something, oh for sure.
Speaker 2: And You're just like, how how can I get in
Speaker 2: on this?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Totally, but no, it's been really good. I moved in
Speaker 5: with our old producer.
Speaker 2: How funny?
Speaker 5: Just up the Actually yeah yeah it's been really really nice.
Speaker 5: So yeah, just been chilling.
Speaker 4: Haven't been too much.
Speaker 2: How good by what good company? I love this, I know,
Speaker 2: I feel like it's right, feels gosh. And she has
Speaker 2: her cat, got the cat, little cat.
Speaker 5: I never thought of myself as a pet owner.
Speaker 2: But Parmazan is your house.
Speaker 5: Parmazan is my house mate.
Speaker 2: You are dream my friends.
Speaker 5: I know, I really am. I really am. But yeah,
Speaker 5: other than that, that's it. What about you, Jess?
Speaker 2: Nothing, she's not moving, she doesn't have a new cat
Speaker 2: house maid.
Speaker 4: No sad about that now. To be honest, I also
Speaker 4: kind of boring, but like maybe the girls who get
Speaker 4: it get it. I got a kindle of for Christmas,
Speaker 4: and I mean it arrived at like February, and so
Speaker 4: since February I have been reading one singular book series,
Speaker 4: not because it takes me a long time to read,
Speaker 4: but because I started this series. I just picked it
Speaker 4: up because I watch what the TV show It's called Shadowhunters.
Speaker 4: It's like, why a fantasy. I do not have like
Speaker 4: high brow tasting books. Let me mine is trash. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: so why fantasy?
Speaker 2: Actually, some research out there, just a buddy in there,
Speaker 2: please say that the more intelligent you are, the lower
Speaker 2: level the content you like to consume, and your free
Speaker 2: time is perfect.
Speaker 4: I must be the world's smartest person.
Speaker 2: I'm the world's biggest fan of Real Housewives of Salt
Speaker 2: Lake City. Of course, perfect sense, You're welcome.
Speaker 4: I started books. I watched the TV show and then
Speaker 4: I realized it was books. So I read it and
Speaker 4: it was a trilogy, and then I was like looking
Speaker 4: for something similar, and I was like, oh, in the
Speaker 4: same universe, there's another trilogy. And this happens to me
Speaker 4: like five times. So I have read It's in the
Speaker 4: same universe, but it's like an extended timelines. There's prequels,
Speaker 4: there's sequels, there's anthologies. I have read nineteen books this year.
Speaker 4: I'm from the same universe. But the problem. The problem
Speaker 4: is that I finished.
Speaker 2: The last book No what are you going to do?
Speaker 4: Last night? And now I'm like, cause I read every
Speaker 4: night for bed, It's my little night tatame.
Speaker 5: I'm like, so cute, what are you going to do. Yeah,
Speaker 5: I feel like I.
Speaker 4: Have this void because I've been so immersed in this
Speaker 4: one universe. If anyone has any.
Speaker 2: Recommendation, have a lot of recommendation. Exella, we actually have
Speaker 2: a book club c cute. It's very very cute, and
Speaker 2: we all have our little kindles and we go to
Speaker 2: book club, but we talk about our books of the week.
Speaker 2: So I have a few recommendations. But if you're anything
Speaker 2: like me, do you feel like that when you finish
Speaker 2: a series and there's no like follow on because I'm
Speaker 2: assuming that you then went, oh, I'm finished, I don't
Speaker 2: know what to do with my life, and then you
Speaker 2: found something. Do you feel like right now you just
Speaker 2: become a non reader again? Because I feel like, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I go from being like no I'm a reader, like
Speaker 2: I'm a book where I'm I'm fully in it, Like
Speaker 2: I can read nineteen books too, it's not for me.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Like I fall off the horse.
Speaker 2: Completely and then I'll see my Kindle one day and
Speaker 2: be like I'm in love with that thing and then
Speaker 2: I like dive back in. Yeah, I just I can't
Speaker 2: commit long term though.
Speaker 5: Remind me, Kindle is a tablet.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like an e reader. But all it does
Speaker 4: is the book, which I really like. It's why I
Speaker 4: read it before bed, because if I read on my
Speaker 4: phone or on my iPad or whatever, I do get sidetracked.
Speaker 4: Whereas it's just books, okay literally physically nothing else on it.
Speaker 5: They're already in the doubt. Sorry but sorry, this is
Speaker 5: the question. They're in the tablet already the book.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you download them like you would. It's kind of
Speaker 2: like got the kindle at and you download it kind
Speaker 2: of like you would download a PDF, and then it
Speaker 2: appears on your Kindle. The thing I like about it
Speaker 2: is it's not like a bright screen either, kind of
Speaker 2: looks like you're looking at paper. Oh that's very yes,
Speaker 2: it's just very low stimulation.
Speaker 4: That awesome, So anyone. I was also like, why are fantasy,
Speaker 4: especially if you've read that series and can recommend something similar.
Speaker 4: I'm not a smut girl, That's my one thing. All
Speaker 4: the recommendations I've gotten have been like fantasy smunt, which
Speaker 4: is not really for you me. That's okay, no judgment,
Speaker 4: but it's just like I like something a little bit
Speaker 4: huh what smut?
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, like dirty, like it's content. Give me those records. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so that's what we've been reading at Zella. So I'll
Speaker 2: just filter out the recommendations. I do have a number
Speaker 2: of other recommendations for you, but I feel like that's
Speaker 2: a very good conversation topic for me at this point
Speaker 2: in time, because I hyper fixate on things and right
Speaker 2: now my kindle and I BFFs. I do have a question, though,
Speaker 2: Bet you're gonna be like, why is this a question?
Speaker 2: What font do you choose?
Speaker 4: I read whatever the default is.
Speaker 5: I know I.
Speaker 4: Like it just the brightness because I read in the
Speaker 4: dark or during the day, But like, I don't really
Speaker 4: mess around with actually know I've made the big because
Speaker 4: I'm getting old.
Speaker 2: Why do you know what FONTAI reading is?
Speaker 5: Dyslexia funds So good, Jess.
Speaker 2: It's in your kindle already, you don't have to download it.
Speaker 2: It makes reading so much easier, Like your eyes just
Speaker 2: glide across the words. You read so much faster, which, yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't know is that a good or a bad thing?
Speaker 2: Reading faster because you finish your books quicker then you
Speaker 2: have to find another one, yeah, which is a money
Speaker 2: lost to read quick?
Speaker 5: Oh true, No, that's true.
Speaker 4: Yeah. How cool do we live in twenty twenty four though,
Speaker 4: and you can make a book more legible for people
Speaker 4: with dyslexia by clicking. Isn't that cool?
Speaker 2: I didn't even know that was something that would benefit me.
Speaker 2: I thought it looked really weird, But now I'm obsessed. Guys,
Speaker 2: how's your Weekking? Oh my gosh, this week has been insane.
Speaker 2: We finally launched the Investing Masterclass, which is Oh my god.
Speaker 2: I have been working on this for a billion and
Speaker 2: one years and I'm just honestly so excited for it.
Speaker 2: But at the same time, I'm so glad I'm no
Speaker 2: longer talking about it, like, Jess, have I been talking
Speaker 2: about this since you joined?
Speaker 4: Literally it's like four years.
Speaker 2: It's discussing like I feel like I keep being like,
Speaker 2: how long has it been? Two years? No?
Speaker 4: Four years?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, how embarrassing. I have been sitting on
Speaker 2: this for so long. And I mean at the start
Speaker 2: it was because I couldn't launch it because I was
Speaker 2: a licensed financial advisor and that would have constituted me
Speaker 2: giving personal advice. So not allowed to do it. Now
Speaker 2: I am, but like life happened, so I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm getting married, I'm having a baby, I'm doing life
Speaker 2: like everything was too busy and I wanted to do
Speaker 2: it myself. I didn't want someone else to swoop in
Speaker 2: and be like, oh, hey, you know Jess would have
Speaker 2: been like, oh, do you need help with that. I'm
Speaker 2: kind of like, no, I do it myself. When I
Speaker 2: say I do anything myself, Jess, what happens. Nothing gets done,
Speaker 2: adhd gets in the way, and that is absolutely fine.
Speaker 2: But we've had the best week. I feel like all
Speaker 2: of our friends are joining the course. It launches on
Speaker 2: the thirtieth of September, so like, right now it's for sale.
Speaker 2: You can go and sign up, and like there's only
Speaker 2: a very limited period of time that you can sign
Speaker 2: up to the course because it starts on the thirtieth,
Speaker 2: and then we're not letting anyone else in so that
Speaker 2: I can focus on that cohort. But surprisingly, so many
Speaker 2: of you messaged and said, hey, can you like bundle
Speaker 2: up your money master class and you're investing master Class together. Jess,
Speaker 2: I wish I'd thought of that, say last, but we
Speaker 2: have bundled it together so that if you sign up,
Speaker 2: you can do the Money master Class now waiting for
Speaker 2: the thirtieth of September, so that when the thirtieth of
Speaker 2: September comes, you can start doing the investing course and
Speaker 2: you've kind of got your financial house sortid. I just
Speaker 2: feel like this month is the month for the investing girls.
Speaker 2: I'm just so excited about it.
Speaker 4: It's your finances, yeah, but.
Speaker 2: Like also, let's get really ridiculously rich. I'll obviously pop
Speaker 2: all the information in the show notes, but if you
Speaker 2: don't want to go to the show notes, just use
Speaker 2: the Code podcast and we'll give you a sweet little discount,
Speaker 2: which we are all here for. Let's jump in though,
Speaker 2: jess what community money wins have you brought to the table.
Speaker 4: Already this week? I'm going to start off with one
Speaker 4: from Emily, who said she received an email from the
Speaker 4: company that she bought her pram from recently to do
Speaker 4: a review for the chance to win back the cost
Speaker 4: of the pram. Being a new mum, everything super tired,
Speaker 4: so she figured why not, she didn't have anything to lose.
Speaker 4: So expensive, so expensive, And then she checked her email
Speaker 4: a few weeks later and turns out she'd won.
Speaker 2: WHOA.
Speaker 4: She said, I was so exciting and loved that they
Speaker 4: already had the prem they knew that they liked it,
Speaker 4: but now it is free.
Speaker 2: That's such a good money.
Speaker 4: Well, I love hearing when people win those types of
Speaker 4: competitions because in my mind, no one ever know true.
Speaker 5: I'm saying, I'm like, who's winning these?
Speaker 4: It's like the magazine not pleasing, right, or like the
Speaker 4: at the bottom of the receipt, you know, fill out
Speaker 4: a survey like does anyone ever win these? Emily rue?
Speaker 2: When's macas monopoly coming back? That is? I think, so.
Speaker 4: Jess is obsessed gold Mac is on the way home. Next,
Speaker 4: I got money when from Denay, who said her elders
Speaker 4: plays netball and went to the state age competition earlier
Speaker 4: in the year. One of the other mums had sent
Speaker 4: her through a link to apply for a grant towards
Speaker 4: the costs, so she thought she'd give it a go,
Speaker 4: and she had an email saying they were successful and
Speaker 4: will receive six hundred and fifty dollars towards the cost
Speaker 4: of the trip this week.
Speaker 2: Six hundred and fifty bus. That's a good deal.
Speaker 4: And I wanted to say, because I was in activities
Speaker 4: kid like, I did a lot of activities.
Speaker 2: As a try say that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, history kind of tracks, but I remember that we
Speaker 4: used to get a lot of grants through our local council,
Speaker 4: and I know that it's so expensive with kids doing activities,
Speaker 4: So I just wanted to say, if you're a parent,
Speaker 4: check your local council because a lot of the time
Speaker 4: there's government fundings like kids in sports and kids in arts,
Speaker 4: and those things can kind of make it a little
Speaker 4: bit easier on you. So check you local council website. Next,
Speaker 4: I've got a money in from Katie. Actually, I have
Speaker 4: a few money into that were all in the same themes.
Speaker 4: I'm going to bundle them all together, so I have
Speaker 4: one from Katie Bundlewin, one from Nellie and also one
Speaker 4: from Zerra or Zara. I'm really sorry z e aia
Speaker 4: zero zero beautiful now love it. I hope I got
Speaker 4: that right, Sorry if I didn't. But all tax themed.
Speaker 4: So Katie did her taxes for last year and this
Speaker 4: year she's feeling very relieved to have it done. Nellie
Speaker 4: said she received her tax return, she paid off her
Speaker 4: can put something savings, and also shop the sales calls
Speaker 4: this week and managed to save herself a whole bundle
Speaker 4: with her tax refund, and Zira got her tax back
Speaker 4: and she had enough to pay off her after pay
Speaker 4: pay off a whole extra month of her car finance,
Speaker 4: and she had money left over to cover some of
Speaker 4: her bills while she's doing an unpaid placement.
Speaker 2: Right, How good is that, Queen? Would that feel though?
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's satisfying. Oh that's so nice.
Speaker 4: Tax people doing tax things. We love to see being
Speaker 4: responsible with that tax money. Well, baby, that is that.
Speaker 2: An attack on Beck? Yeah? What are you doing with
Speaker 2: your money? Beck?
Speaker 5: Even pick up on that at all?
Speaker 4: I'm glad I was.
Speaker 2: Jess would never actually put that down. We all know that.
Speaker 2: I was just like thinking at the same time, I'm like,
Speaker 2: look at these people being really responsible, and like, I'm
Speaker 2: just living my life with my values.
Speaker 4: You got some fun.
Speaker 5: I did blow a little bit, Jess. You would not
Speaker 5: like to see the inside of my car right now.
Speaker 5: I keep telling me to pay off my fines, and
Speaker 5: you know it is like that one window in my
Speaker 5: car that's just duct tape because it was broken, and
Speaker 5: on that on the inside is like a wall of
Speaker 5: new parking fines, and I think.
Speaker 4: It's all over sticking them to the d think it's
Speaker 4: any friend of you one, But I.
Speaker 2: Actually do want a photo.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I should have used that tax money to pay
Speaker 5: for those fines. But I didn't, and I'm sorry, but
Speaker 5: I just I don't have that kind of breaks, like
Speaker 5: I actually am who I am so just God. But
Speaker 5: what i can control is where I park. And so
Speaker 5: I'm going to start doing that.
Speaker 4: Stop stoping them up, plead, try and stop giving me anxiety.
Speaker 2: Honestly, at this point, I'm not give me the fines.
Speaker 2: Give me the log into your bank account. You're like,
Speaker 2: oh no, no, no, no, you.
Speaker 5: Won't find much in the.
Speaker 4: Lastly, this week, I have a money when from Laura
Speaker 4: who said she applies I had for recognition of prior
Speaker 4: work as credit towards her university degree for the upcoming semester.
Speaker 4: She wasn't sure if it would work. But if you
Speaker 4: don't ask, you don't get. And today she got a
Speaker 4: notification saying that her application was approved.
Speaker 2: Me good.
Speaker 4: She's gonna save over two thousand dollars that would have
Speaker 4: gone on her helped deb because she doesn't have to
Speaker 4: take the credits again. And it's taken a big mental
Speaker 4: load off of her as well.
Speaker 5: Great, that's so good.
Speaker 2: Prior work.
Speaker 4: I didn't know that you could transfer like I knew
Speaker 4: that you could transfer some course credits because my partner
Speaker 4: did that when he went from sports science to physio,
Speaker 4: and even that he had to actively, like I remember
Speaker 4: it being a bit of a pain in the arse,
Speaker 4: like it wasn't a simple thing, but it was the
Speaker 4: same type of deal. I think it saved him a
Speaker 4: semester or two because.
Speaker 2: I've just done this because as you guys know, like
Speaker 2: I don't actually have a lot on at the moment.
Speaker 4: I'm a busy no no.
Speaker 1: No no.
Speaker 2: So I was at work the other day and I
Speaker 2: was a little bit jealous because all the girls their
Speaker 2: mortgage brokers. I'm not a mortgage broker. I owned the
Speaker 2: mortgage broking company, and like I could probably do it
Speaker 2: like the back of my hand, but like for the
Speaker 2: last few years I've been like, well, there's no point
Speaker 2: me doing it, because like I managed, the team, got
Speaker 2: jealous signed up for a mortgage broking course so that
Speaker 2: they can become an official broker, because I was like,
Speaker 2: that sounds slay, Like that sounds fun. Got recognition of
Speaker 2: prior work, which makes sense. But also when I was
Speaker 2: on the website, none of it lined up because I
Speaker 2: was like, well, financial advice, it's not mortgage broking, but
Speaker 2: I wrote a little case and I like submitted it
Speaker 2: and I submitted my prior degrees and they were like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: you don't have to do this, this, this, and this,
Speaker 2: like it's pretty good. So I feel like even though
Speaker 2: it didn't directly align, just asking meant that they were like, well, actually,
Speaker 2: and it was like ethics modules and just kind of
Speaker 2: things that you're like, oh, it's not how to do
Speaker 2: the job, it's more how to you know, function in finance.
Speaker 2: That were like, oh, you definitely don't need to do
Speaker 2: a B and C. And I was like, thank you,
Speaker 2: so money win, but also like admin.
Speaker 4: Win yeah, and Laura said, don't ask don't yet.
Speaker 2: I don't even know if I'm going to be a
Speaker 2: proper mortgage broker, but I want the degree.
Speaker 4: I just did not go on to add to the collection.
Speaker 2: I just like collecting them like little pokemon. It's very cute.
Speaker 2: Nobody is like me, and that is okay, that is okay, alright.
Speaker 2: You broke tips, yes, not parking fines. They are not
Speaker 2: good tips.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 5: Well, actually one of my tips is pay your fines.
Speaker 5: If you break your car window, you actually can just
Speaker 5: duct tape it. And I know that's that's not my
Speaker 5: broke tip for this week.
Speaker 2: See, but I'm for a good broke tip when they're legal.
Speaker 2: That's actually illegal. Yeah, so like, let's not do that.
Speaker 5: Don't do that.
Speaker 2: I mean it's any intim and yeah, like desperation calls
Speaker 2: for being creative and I like that.
Speaker 5: It's just a fantastic thing that I didn't know.
Speaker 2: Should get it fixed though, we should. We should. If
Speaker 2: you can't see out of the window because it's it's
Speaker 2: very detained.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I can't see any goodlines.
Speaker 2: I was about to say, can you see blind spots?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: No, not an option option? See why it might be illegal?
Speaker 5: I see, I see that is on the to do list. Okay,
Speaker 5: so the first broke tip this week comes from Iris,
Speaker 5: who sent me a TikTok about an app called Too
Speaker 5: Good to Go.
Speaker 4: I'm sinking it everywhere. I keep trying to get it,
Speaker 4: but there's not much where I live, unfortunately.
Speaker 5: See I just downloaded it today.
Speaker 2: Actually, sorry, I've never heard of it. What it is?
Speaker 1: Sorry?
Speaker 5: Yeah, oh my god, I didn't give anyone any context.
Speaker 2: You were like, it's cold, too good to Go? Yeah,
Speaker 2: get it?
Speaker 4: Get it anyway. Next tip.
Speaker 5: No, it's kind of like a combination of things. It's
Speaker 5: like trying to reduce food waste. And also it's a
Speaker 5: broke tip. I feel like with this app, you correct
Speaker 5: me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure. It's like
Speaker 5: you can scam like your area or like anywhere around
Speaker 5: you really and see if there's any food waste going.
Speaker 5: I don't know if it's like companies or if it's
Speaker 5: like just people, but it's like restaurants and yeah, so
Speaker 5: it's like food that you got to chuck out at
Speaker 5: the end of the day.
Speaker 4: So you pay a flat fee and effectively you just
Speaker 4: get a mystery bag. So like it might be like,
Speaker 4: is it Attica in the city? I saw, God, yeah,
Speaker 4: like a lot of foujie places, Brumbies I saw do
Speaker 4: it like lots of I always wonder.
Speaker 2: So I used to live on the Peninsula. I think
Speaker 2: you guys already know that, and the local like Baker's
Speaker 2: Delight used to like bag up and I'd see them
Speaker 2: if I was at the supermarket late, putting all the
Speaker 2: bread into garbage bags, and I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: what a waste. But they were like donating it to
Speaker 2: like the pig farm, and the pigs would eat it,
Speaker 2: and like I liked that, but if it goes to
Speaker 2: human beings, is that not better totally?
Speaker 4: So it's usually like a flat fee, and so you
Speaker 4: might pay five dollars or ten dollars, and from what
Speaker 4: I've seen, it's like a day in advance, so like today,
Speaker 4: I would book to pick up tomorrow and it'll say
Speaker 4: pick up between three and four or whatever, and you
Speaker 4: just get a mystery bag. And so if you search
Speaker 4: up on TikTok, heaps people and I'm boxing what you've
Speaker 4: done that was so fun, I'm gonna eat really really
Speaker 4: fun and it's cool. It's like a little mystery And
Speaker 4: if you're eating cheap, it's so you get the whole thing,
Speaker 4: is you it's more value than what you pay. So
Speaker 4: if you pay five dollars might be worth twenty bucks
Speaker 4: or whatever. And I'm assuming depending on how much they have,
Speaker 4: you might get like even more value or whatever.
Speaker 2: So how that is Sunny Wins. That is a good broak.
Speaker 4: It's just come to Australia. It's really new in the
Speaker 4: US for a while, right, I think it's just launched here.
Speaker 2: I'm going to set you a little bit of a
Speaker 2: snoop into them, because I have been on that side
Speaker 2: of TikTok, which is like all the budget eats. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I've noticed that there seems to be and I
Speaker 2: don't know if this is true. I'm going to try it,
Speaker 2: but a couple of girls have been posting what they're
Speaker 2: buying at the butcher, Like they get the butcher's mixed
Speaker 2: bag and it's like, I don't know, seventy five or
Speaker 2: one hundred dollars and they get like ten items, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, that's wild.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Like this one girl for seventy five dollars got like
Speaker 2: a roast and like mince and like ten other things.
Speaker 2: And I was like, that's like less than ten dollars
Speaker 2: per item. And you've got a roast for Sunday.
Speaker 5: That's great, what a money win.
Speaker 2: So good anyway, I just I like cheap food, don't Oh,
Speaker 2: it's this economy absolutely, and it's a human right.
Speaker 4: Anyway, what else have you got?
Speaker 5: Okay? Next one comes from Lauren, who says store your
Speaker 5: nail varnishes in the fridge to stop them going gloopy,
Speaker 5: especially if you live in Queensland it's quite hot.
Speaker 2: That's quite smart.
Speaker 5: If they do go gloopy, add a few drops of
Speaker 5: nail varnish removers to them and shake wila that will
Speaker 5: last a bit longer.
Speaker 2: Oh so good. Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean I'm not tried personally, but I'm sure that.
Speaker 2: You went out polish. I beg things.
Speaker 5: I don't really but I'm not opposed to it. I
Speaker 5: just like don't really know.
Speaker 2: And also it's very hard.
Speaker 5: I don't know you guys do it, Like, yeah, I
Speaker 5: always get it everywhere.
Speaker 2: I have a rainbow this week that did a whole rainbow,
Speaker 2: very cute of my stories. Yeah, oh thanks thanks, But
Speaker 2: like I just I just need it actually, But I
Speaker 2: just I don't know about you, Jess, Like this is
Speaker 2: not a you thing, Beck, because you don't do your nails,
Speaker 2: But like, I just get into mood sometimes and I
Speaker 2: just go, I need to have rainbow nails. I just
Speaker 2: I know my mood's going to improve if I paint
Speaker 2: my nails the color of the rainbow, and then my
Speaker 2: mood instantly improved.
Speaker 5: She's full of pride. Well yeah, yeah, she's an ally.
Speaker 4: She's an ally.
Speaker 2: Ally with my fingers.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're welcome, moving right along, You're welcome.
Speaker 2: What's your broke to Okay, my broke chip is I'm
Speaker 2: agreat no thing, just so you know.
Speaker 5: Hey, that's one hell of an ally. Okay, I broke tip,
Speaker 5: have you guys sort of to day tis No, actually
Speaker 5: just somewhere This didn't come from me. Last ticks as well,
Speaker 5: same thing, last ticks as well. Okay, so it's where
Speaker 5: like you.
Speaker 4: Hold on, Jess, what's it?
Speaker 1: What is it?
Speaker 5: I know, I think, I think, I'm so sorry, but
Speaker 5: I I love that I'm a real skim reader, and
Speaker 5: I think you can find cheap tickets through these websites
Speaker 5: you think at the last minute.
Speaker 4: Yes, is that correct?
Speaker 5: Yes, So it's like a lot of.
Speaker 2: Feel I'm just taking I'm given hold on, hold on,
Speaker 2: just to reset, Jess. You feel like you're taking something
Speaker 2: off Beck when Beck brought your.
Speaker 4: Books the sharing economy. Yeah, so it's as exactly as
Speaker 4: you said. It's a lot of theater. So musicals plays,
Speaker 4: sometimes galleries, things that you know there's X amount of seats.
Speaker 4: If they don't feel the seats, they don't make any money.
Speaker 4: So often it'll be like the same day or the
Speaker 4: same week, or if you shows in it's like last
Speaker 4: kind of leg you can jump on there and either
Speaker 4: buy the ticket directly, or sometimes it's a lottery, so
Speaker 4: you submit to try to be able to buy the
Speaker 4: cheap ticket. I remember you were trying to get Wicked
Speaker 4: tickets so badly, but I didn't devastate it. But like
Speaker 4: I think normal Wicked tickets were like entry level ninety bucks.
Speaker 4: So like the very background, whereas they were selling all
Speaker 4: of them on I think I can't remember it was
Speaker 4: Last Ticks or Staticks whoever, which every one was, they
Speaker 4: were forty bucks.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I feel like right now everybody's under so
Speaker 2: much financial pressure they're doing something like going to the theater.
Speaker 2: You like ninety dollars a ticket. Yeah, like that is
Speaker 2: an expensive day out, Like that's not something that you
Speaker 2: can just go, oh hey, Jess, I'd love to take
Speaker 2: the kids to wicket, Like that's not a thing. Like
Speaker 2: to me, that's like a Christmas present, like a good
Speaker 2: Christmas present at that. So like being able to go
Speaker 2: for forty bucks.
Speaker 4: Yeah, support the arts, fill the theater out. Also, you know,
Speaker 4: look after all a little bit while you do it.
Speaker 2: We love that. Love that. Well, let's go to a
Speaker 2: really quick break. Just is gonna look at the font
Speaker 2: that I like on Kindle because it and I'm probably
Speaker 2: going to get another coffee. But on the flip side,
Speaker 2: we're going to be talking about what to do when
Speaker 2: you're feeling like you're more your partner's financial manager than
Speaker 2: their teammate. And Beck, I'm excited for this. I feel
Speaker 2: like you're excited to We got a little bit of
Speaker 2: a spicy DM. We're going to be chatting about what's
Speaker 2: more important, helping your friend or keeping their secret. So
Speaker 2: don't go anywhere, guys.
Speaker 4: Welcome back everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's
Speaker 4: money dilemma.
Speaker 6: Hi.
Speaker 2: There, have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve?
Speaker 2: The Sheess on the Money team is here to help.
Speaker 7: Every week we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small,
Speaker 7: to answer your most burning money.
Speaker 2: Career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to
Speaker 2: our website and leave us ashore voice recording and you
Speaker 2: might just find yourself on the show. Now, let's take
Speaker 2: a listen to this week's money dilemma.
Speaker 6: Hi, She's on the Money. Loved the podcast and would
Speaker 6: love some help with my current money dilemma around getting
Speaker 6: my husband involved in our budget.
Speaker 2: It's not something he's interested.
Speaker 6: At all, and he has always left it up to me,
Speaker 6: says that he trusts me completely in the decisions that
Speaker 6: I make, but it makes me feel like I am
Speaker 6: completely in charge and get guilty if we don't have
Speaker 6: the money when something arises and we need it, or
Speaker 6: if I've done something wrong. He's not interested in getting
Speaker 6: involved at Also, I just love some tips around navigating
Speaker 6: this with him, because recently he started to make some
Speaker 6: comments around how I'm policing his spending, but it's because
Speaker 6: I know he doesn't check the account, so I kind
Speaker 6: of have to check in and make sure a certain
Speaker 6: purchase with him, and it's not our accounts being compromised
Speaker 6: and things like that. Another example is he got a
Speaker 6: recent pay rise and I tried to set a budget
Speaker 6: meeting and gave him lots of warning in the calendar
Speaker 6: around it, just to figure out where we should allocate
Speaker 6: the extra funds that he's now getting and any financial
Speaker 6: goals that he had, but he didn't have any, wanted
Speaker 6: to just leave it up to me and trusted me completely,
Speaker 6: And then a few days later comes to me and
Speaker 6: says that he wants to buy a certain thing costs
Speaker 6: three thousand dollars and that's not something that's built into
Speaker 6: our budget, and I feel like I can't say no,
Speaker 6: I just have to suddenly come up with the money
Speaker 6: and work around him. I'm a little concerned that later
Speaker 6: on in life, any goals that we have, anything that
Speaker 6: goes wrong, that's going to come down to me and
Speaker 6: be my fault.
Speaker 2: Do you have any tips for this?
Speaker 5: This is so hard to listen to because I totally
Speaker 5: get it. Like it's the same old thing, isn't it
Speaker 5: the I'm not I don't want to generalize here, but
Speaker 5: I am going to generalize. It's usually like one partner
Speaker 5: is not doing any of the mental load. Maybe they're
Speaker 5: doing some of the physical load if the other partner
Speaker 5: quote unquote nags them enough, because all of the mental
Speaker 5: load falls on the other partner. Even if they're not
Speaker 5: physical doing the thing, they're still like, I've got to
Speaker 5: remember to remind this person to do this thing. Anyway,
Speaker 5: in this situation feels like there's no winning, it's lose lose.
Speaker 5: She's she's completely taking over all of the financial responsibility,
Speaker 5: the mental loads, the physical load, all of this load,
Speaker 5: and then therefore has to say yes or no to
Speaker 5: the partner who wants to spend all this money, and
Speaker 5: then they're the bad person because they've said no to
Speaker 5: a certain purchase or yes to a certain purchase.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 5: The whole thing is just like I feel so bad
Speaker 5: for this woman, and I wanted to find an equal partner.
Speaker 5: I wanted to find an equal partner.
Speaker 2: Basically, Oh, so you're saying leave.
Speaker 5: I'm not saying I find a different equal part I'm saying,
Speaker 5: if your partner can't understand why this is stressful and
Speaker 5: extremely extremely unfair, then find an equal partner or be single,
Speaker 5: because then you just have to worry about yourself, you
Speaker 5: know what I mean.
Speaker 2: So I agree. I think it's a it's a bit rich,
Speaker 2: like when people are like I don't care, I don't care. Also,
Speaker 2: I want to spend three grand like you actually do care.
Speaker 2: But it seems to me that you only care when
Speaker 2: it benefits you, and that's not how finances work. Like
Speaker 2: you've got to get into the nitty gritty. And I've
Speaker 2: really heard her when she said, I'm fine with it now.
Speaker 2: Obviously I've got to work it out. But like, in
Speaker 2: the future, does this mean that everything's going to be
Speaker 2: my fault and it doesn't go to plan? Because like
Speaker 2: you can totally see that that's the case. Like it
Speaker 2: really frustrates me. And I feel like you hit the
Speaker 2: nail on the head back when you said it's about
Speaker 2: mental load, Like you're the one thinking of like, okay, cool,
Speaker 2: like we need to budget for Christmas and oh we've
Speaker 2: got this coming up, and oh we've got people coming over,
Speaker 2: so like dinner's going to be different. Like it's stuff
Speaker 2: that he's just going I can't be bothered. But then
Speaker 2: all of a sudden, when he wants a three thousand
Speaker 2: dollar item, he's like, oh, yeah, let let's make room
Speaker 2: for that totally. Are you willing to help make room? Also,
Speaker 2: what do you mean you can't say no? Sorry? You
Speaker 2: said that the budgeting was in my court and I've
Speaker 2: actually we don't have budget for that. Oh you're interested
Speaker 2: in the budget now? Would you like to revisit it
Speaker 2: because I can clean the slate. We can start budgeting
Speaker 2: from scratch again together. Because if you're interested, yeah, jump
Speaker 2: on board. I would be really happy to clear the
Speaker 2: slate and start again when it's completely equal. But you
Speaker 2: can't have your cake and eat it too. You don't
Speaker 2: get the best of both worlds and be like, hey, yes,
Speaker 2: I want you know a three thousand dollars item. But
Speaker 2: I also don't want to help with any of the
Speaker 2: financial stuff. No, I hate it. What do you reckon, Jess?
Speaker 4: I agree. I think it's common trope unfortunately, like it's
Speaker 4: very common that the load leans one way or the other.
Speaker 4: I would say that if you haven't, because it sounds
Speaker 4: a little bit like our listeners just carrying it all
Speaker 4: and going okay, Like I feel like I have to
Speaker 4: just find room for it. As you were saying, VD,
Speaker 4: I think like push back. I think that when you say, yeah,
Speaker 4: you have to find room, I certainly do not. I
Speaker 4: think as well, it's important as much as you would
Speaker 4: hope that your partner would see and understand the level
Speaker 4: of work that goes into something, the best way to
Speaker 4: communicate is to not make those assumptions. So I think
Speaker 4: if you haven't already communicating to your partner, Hey, do
Speaker 4: you realize that this takes up a lot of time?
Speaker 4: Do you realize that it's causing me a lot of anxiety?
Speaker 4: Because I feel like I'm the bad guy in our relationship.
Speaker 4: I feel like I'm parenting for you, or I feel
Speaker 4: like i'm your accountant. I don't feel like i'm your
Speaker 4: equal I feel like I'm working for you if you
Speaker 4: haven't already had that conversation. I think it's important to
Speaker 4: help your partner understand those things because we can't assume
Speaker 4: that they know how we're feeling. In an ideal world,
Speaker 4: would they just do their part equally communication shockingly round
Speaker 4: about way I'm saying, have a conversation.
Speaker 2: But so you've got to feel empowered to have that
Speaker 2: conversation because right now you're probably like, I don't know
Speaker 2: why it is like that, And the reason it's like
Speaker 2: that is everything you're saying, Jess.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I think like in some partnerships there is
Speaker 4: maybe one person who takes the lead on something like finances,
Speaker 4: and if that works for you, that's not a bad thing.
Speaker 4: But because our listener is clearly saying that that's not
Speaker 4: for her, it's very reasonable for you to expect your
Speaker 4: partner to carry their share of that load because it
Speaker 4: is both of your money. And you know, maybe he
Speaker 4: thinks that he's being really like nice by saying, oh,
Speaker 4: I trust you, I want to leave it with you,
Speaker 4: and doesn't understand that actually it's causing you a lot
Speaker 4: of stress and you're really not liking it.
Speaker 2: So it's not really about trust, though it's so nice
Speaker 2: that you do trust me, fantastic. That's actually why we're
Speaker 2: in a relationship together, because we trust one another and
Speaker 2: want to build a life together. This it's actually about
Speaker 2: our core values and how we are allocating the resources
Speaker 2: that come into our relationship to achieve the goals that
Speaker 2: we want. And if your partner saying, well, I have
Speaker 2: no goals, like for me, red flag, but also you
Speaker 2: clearly do you want a three thousand dollar item that's
Speaker 2: a financial goal to me, like a three thousand dollar
Speaker 2: item needs a lot of consideration from my perspective.
Speaker 5: Totally, I think, yeah, it's just it's really hard because
Speaker 5: I totally get like not having financial goals, Like I
Speaker 5: feel like when I start dating my current partner, I
Speaker 5: don't really have any. But I know that if I
Speaker 5: want to build a life with this person who does
Speaker 5: have financial goals, I need to change the way I
Speaker 5: live my life. But so's that's a completely sad step.
Speaker 2: That's a big conversation.
Speaker 5: So I feel like, maybe that's you're going to pay
Speaker 5: maybe not right now, if we moving together one there
Speaker 5: I will.
Speaker 2: But I think that's a sure sign of commitment for beck.
Speaker 2: If she comes in one day I've paid my parking fines,
Speaker 2: I'm going to be like, are you getting married?
Speaker 5: Yeah, then if you know experience. I really feel for
Speaker 5: our listener because I think it's hard when you come
Speaker 5: into a conversation or you try to have a conversation.
Speaker 5: If you start from equal, an equal playing field, it's
Speaker 5: still hard. But it feels like our listener is not
Speaker 5: at an equal playing field. It feels like they're going
Speaker 5: to be immediately on the defense because they've been kind
Speaker 5: of labeled the quote unquote bad guy in situations. So
Speaker 5: it feels like they're going to have to defend themselves
Speaker 5: and then get to equal and then talk about how
Speaker 5: to change things. And so I feel like there's just
Speaker 5: so much land to treks.
Speaker 4: Canceled the meeting either, that makes me because that was
Speaker 4: her opportunity to have the conversation to go like maybe
Speaker 4: that was her plan. He's like, Okay, like we're gonna
Speaker 4: sit down. I got to go overall of this, and
Speaker 4: then he like bailed on it, which I also think
Speaker 4: is just very disrespectful.
Speaker 5: I just don't I just I just think the I'm
Speaker 5: just kidding communation first shore, and if it doesn't work,
Speaker 5: then it's just so much. Sometimes it's so much easier
Speaker 5: just to be single. So I mean it might not
Speaker 5: be in this case, but think about it. Just think
Speaker 5: about it.
Speaker 2: I'm really I get really frustrated about this, but I
Speaker 2: can also see how it happens, and I think that
Speaker 2: this is potentially getting a little bit deep a reflection
Speaker 2: of his money story as well. He could be quite
Speaker 2: evasive of this conversation because it deeply makes him uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: Maybe he doesn't want to talk about money because you know,
Speaker 2: it's overwhelming, and he's just like a thank god, my
Speaker 2: partner's got it, Like, oh, I don't want to talk
Speaker 2: about I trust you, please just deal with it like
Speaker 2: you maybe don't know enough about it. And that's where
Speaker 2: I would go. It's not just about the conversation. Clearly
Speaker 2: he's evasive of that. Maybe we need to step further
Speaker 2: back and go, hey, like, you know, are we getting
Speaker 2: married one day?
Speaker 4: What does this look like?
Speaker 2: Okay, so if we're building a life together and you know,
Speaker 2: when we are eighty and sitting on a porch in
Speaker 2: our rocking chairs holding hands looking off into the sunset, like,
Speaker 2: what do we want to have achieved? What are we
Speaker 2: talking about what are those things that we are proud of?
Speaker 2: And going from there? I know that's a really deep
Speaker 2: way of looking at it, but are we achieving things together? Okay, well,
Speaker 2: this is actually the tool we need to knock on
Speaker 2: the head to get there. Why are you evasive of this?
Speaker 2: How did you grow up around money? Let's talk about
Speaker 2: our money stories and maybe sharing with him some resources
Speaker 2: that he can consume in his own time, and just
Speaker 2: going look, you're really evasive of the meeting. I get it.
Speaker 2: Here's a podcast. Here's Victoria's very first podcast on money stories.
Speaker 2: Please listen to it today in your own time and
Speaker 2: have a think about whether that's guiding the way that
Speaker 2: we're interacting around money. Give some resources, and I feel
Speaker 2: like being extended the I won't say privileged, but being
Speaker 2: extended the opportunity to consume those things in his own
Speaker 2: time might mean that he has that point of reflection.
Speaker 2: Whereas if he's doing what I think he's doing and
Speaker 2: avoiding that conversation, if you then drag him into the
Speaker 2: budget conversation, he's going to be defensive. He's not gonna
Speaker 2: want to play. He's gonna be like, yeah, yeah, Jess, whatever,
Speaker 2: you want, Oh, you want to buy a new car
Speaker 2: in the next twelve months, Okay, put that on the
Speaker 2: goal list. Like he's not going to actually give you
Speaker 2: what you want in that situation. It's going to take
Speaker 2: a bit of work. So I would be trying to
Speaker 2: work out what that looks like and having those conversations
Speaker 2: and even just going, hey, I know that you canceled
Speaker 2: the meeting, like why what's going on? Like, you know,
Speaker 2: can we talk about it? Is it making you uncomfortable? Like,
Speaker 2: and then maybe having a think about if you can't
Speaker 2: ask those questions of your partner, why why can't you
Speaker 2: have these conversations and what is that indicative of in
Speaker 2: your relationship? It's an uncomfortable conversation at the end of
Speaker 2: the day because, like as you were saying, Beck, it's
Speaker 2: easier to be single, but it kind of is sometimes
Speaker 2: I'm not saying leave, but like, have a think about
Speaker 2: why these things might be happening the way that they're happening.
Speaker 5: Great advice, I don't know, solon, I don't.
Speaker 4: Know, and then come back and let us know what happens.
Speaker 2: Please do Like I want to have all these people
Speaker 2: that dm us send updates.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we want updates a whole update episode.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so I can be like, all right, remember this,
Speaker 2: Oh my god, she x y z so juicy, keep
Speaker 2: us up with the goss. Speaking of Goss, we got
Speaker 2: a DM this week and I have been waiting all
Speaker 2: episode to get into it. Are you ready right? Okay, Hey,
Speaker 2: she's on the money. I'm in a bit of a
Speaker 2: dilemma and could really use some advice. A friend told
Speaker 2: me that another one of our mutual friends is in
Speaker 2: deep financial trouble. They're struggling a lot, and my first
Speaker 2: instinct is to reach out and help. But here's the problem.
Speaker 2: The friend who told me said it was supposed to
Speaker 2: be a secret and they shouldn't have shared it in
Speaker 2: the first place. I don't want to betray anyone's trust,
Speaker 2: but I also can't make the feeling that I should
Speaker 2: be doing something to help. I'm not sure how to
Speaker 2: approach the friend who's struggling without making things awkward or
Speaker 2: revealing that I know something that I shouldn't. What would
Speaker 2: you do?
Speaker 4: Oh that's so hard, isn't it.
Speaker 6: Ooh?
Speaker 4: I feel like it's really important to not let them know,
Speaker 4: but you know, and I worry that that feels sneaky,
Speaker 4: And I don't mean it to feel that way, but
Speaker 4: I think if they haven't shared it with you, it
Speaker 4: is because they are feeling embarrassed or unsure or unconfident.
Speaker 4: And I think that telling them that you know will
Speaker 4: one make them feel betrayed by your absolutely friends that
Speaker 4: shared the information. So that's going to pile on top
Speaker 4: and it's going to make them feel embarrassed because they
Speaker 4: didn't get to control the narrative themselves. They might start
Speaker 4: to worry what else you've been told? Like, I think
Speaker 4: it's just going to add to their feeling of anxiety
Speaker 4: that they're already having. For me, the way that I
Speaker 4: would go about it, and I have to say, you're
Speaker 4: a great friend. It's really lovely that you do want
Speaker 4: to help them, that you care. Yeah, Like, that's absolutely
Speaker 4: the right instinct, that's coming from love. I think that
Speaker 4: you need to try to open the door to them
Speaker 4: by making those conversations comfortable. And the way that often
Speaker 4: you can do that is by talking to people about
Speaker 4: your problems. It's that age old saying like if you
Speaker 4: want people to feel confident in accepting your help, you
Speaker 4: need to ask for theirs first to make them feel
Speaker 4: like they can ask for something from you. So maybe
Speaker 4: talking to them about even if you're not experiencing current
Speaker 4: financial problems, you know, talking to them about another problem
Speaker 4: that you're having.
Speaker 2: Or it doesn't have to be like for like, you
Speaker 2: don't have to make stuff up because you can see
Speaker 2: through that that would be inauthentic.
Speaker 4: Or reflecting on you know, oh my gosh, my friend
Speaker 4: is going through X y Z and I'm trying to
Speaker 4: figure out what to do to help them or whatever. Like,
Speaker 4: if you approach them with your problem, it's going to
Speaker 4: make them hopefully feel more comfortable opening up to you.
Speaker 4: And then particularly about finance, because as we know, finance
Speaker 4: is very divisive and some people are really comfy talking
Speaker 4: about it like we are, and some people are so
Speaker 4: not comfortable about it at all. Just talking about money
Speaker 4: as if it's a casual thing, like not even necessarily
Speaker 4: about financial problems, but talking about your super talking about
Speaker 4: if you're thinking about investing or your financial goals.
Speaker 2: Money doesn't have to be personal, no, Like it can
Speaker 2: be like I could be like Beck, what do you wear,
Speaker 2: what do you spend?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 2: What finds have you got? But it doesn't have to
Speaker 2: be personal. It can be a topic lack of conversation
Speaker 2: in the same way any other topic can be of conversation.
Speaker 4: And I think if you start normalizing that type of conversation,
Speaker 4: it might also make your friend feel more comfortable to
Speaker 4: then broach that topic more personally for herself with you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I agree. I think I'm very against exactly
Speaker 2: the same as you do. Not let that friend know
Speaker 2: that you know. Yeah, because do you know what the
Speaker 2: worst feeling in the world is feeling betrayed, like feeling
Speaker 2: like somebody didn't keep your secret. In fact, i'd be
Speaker 2: quite I don't know. I'm a very black and white person.
Speaker 2: I'd be like, why did you tell me that?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: Why did you break that person's trust? Obviously that's an
Speaker 2: awful situation to be and we all know if financial troubles,
Speaker 2: it's stressful. You feel like trash, You feel like the
Speaker 2: weight of the world is on your shoulders, and then
Speaker 2: on top of that, you feel like other people are
Speaker 2: going to think that you're less than because you're experiencing
Speaker 2: financial hardship. The last thing that you wanted when you
Speaker 2: shared that problem, maybe you finally shared that problem with somebody,
Speaker 2: is to know that they in the background. Then when
Speaker 2: I told Jess, do you know what I mean? Like,
Speaker 2: I'd be heartbroken if I shared something with you, beck
Speaker 2: and I finally felt comfortable and I'm like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 2: this is something I'm really struggling with. And then Becky
Speaker 2: went and talked to your friends about it, and then
Speaker 2: your friends are approaching me being like, oh, did you
Speaker 2: need help? I'd be like what, Like that's so overwhelming
Speaker 2: and it's just going to make me bury my head
Speaker 2: further in the sand and feel really distrustful of people.
Speaker 2: So first, if you're that friend who can't keep it,
Speaker 2: just first, if you're that friend who can't keep a secret,
Speaker 2: have a good, hard look at yourself, because that's not
Speaker 2: what friends do. But then two, yeah, I'm reiterating everything
Speaker 2: that Jess said, like, yeah, don't approach it in that way.
Speaker 2: Open honest, money conversations, sharing content. There's so many great
Speaker 2: instagrams and podcasts out there that talk about money and
Speaker 2: talk about things. But I really like your idea of
Speaker 2: sharing a problem that you have so that maybe they
Speaker 2: can open up. But then also realizing that I don't
Speaker 2: know how to say this without seeming really harsh, but
Speaker 2: it's not your problem to solve, like you might want
Speaker 2: to help them, but if they haven't reached out, maybe
Speaker 2: you're not that person for them, like maybe empowering the
Speaker 2: friend that told you to go. Well, actually, I'm really
Speaker 2: worried about this person, but I can't approach it. Here
Speaker 2: are some resources that you could say are from you
Speaker 2: to pass on to this person. Here are some things
Speaker 2: that you could do to help them, so inadvertently they're
Speaker 2: getting the advice, but you're not making them feel as
Speaker 2: though everyone's talking behind their back.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I was going to suggest the same thing. Actually, I'm
Speaker 5: trying to remember, like what made me comfortable when I
Speaker 5: was in a really bad financial situation, like right before
Speaker 5: I decided to de clear bankruptcy. And I think that
Speaker 5: what made me tell my friends was first of all,
Speaker 5: like security with them because I have known them and
Speaker 5: I'm friends with them, and you know, I feel very secure.
Speaker 5: But a complete stranger. I know this person is a
Speaker 5: complete stranger. But let's think what would make you feel
Speaker 5: comfortable with the complete stranger? I think, yeah, Jess, like
Speaker 5: you're so right like sharing those stories as well. I
Speaker 5: think though, if someone was telling me their money, not
Speaker 5: money problems, but just like talking about money in general,
Speaker 5: and they kind of suggested that they are not in
Speaker 5: a bad place. It would make me a little bit
Speaker 5: too stressed to talk about my situation, Like if I
Speaker 5: when I talk to friends and they're like, oh, it's
Speaker 5: the end of pay cycle. I'm really stressed about money.
Speaker 5: I don't have to dig into my sa dig into
Speaker 5: my saving Yea, I am closed off from you because
Speaker 5: you are. I cannot relate to you. This is you know.
Speaker 5: I'm trying to get there now. But back in the day,
Speaker 5: I'd be like back in the day, I literally mean
Speaker 5: like a month ago, I would be like, Okay, I'm
Speaker 5: not telling this person that I have zero savings.
Speaker 2: I'm just like, yeah, you're I'm stressed too, but totally
Speaker 2: hate to dip into my non existence exactly.
Speaker 5: And so I think that that is a very good
Speaker 5: way to do it. But also just just being conscious
Speaker 5: that this situation might be so much worse than you
Speaker 5: could have ever imagined. It could be like something you've
Speaker 5: never experienced before. I think the easiest, safest way to
Speaker 5: go about this is just, yeah, presenting yourself as a
Speaker 5: very safe person because you probably are, like you sound
Speaker 5: like a very good friend, and let them come to you.
Speaker 5: But I think exactly as you were saying, V like,
Speaker 5: maybe the best thing to do is like find those
Speaker 5: resources for yourself, because financial struggles can be so bad
Speaker 5: that you're like, I don't know how to get out
Speaker 5: of this. I just don't know how to get out
Speaker 5: of this, and I don't think I ever will, And
Speaker 5: so yeah, finding resources like being like an advocate for
Speaker 5: bankruptcy if you need to be, being an advocate for
Speaker 5: all these other things, and then sending that message through
Speaker 5: the friend that knows. Yeah, so I know, I understand,
Speaker 5: Like the friend might just genuinely be like, I'm scared
Speaker 5: for my friend and I don't know I need to
Speaker 5: tell you. Yeah, so that's fine, but I get it.
Speaker 4: You know it's coming. It's all coming from a good place,
Speaker 4: Like it's coming from a place of love and concern
Speaker 4: from everyone. But I think if someone's already feeling stressed,
Speaker 4: anything you can do to not add to that anxiety, Yeah,
Speaker 4: a good thing.
Speaker 2: No, I agree, And I feel like, as you've been talking,
Speaker 2: Beckett reminds me of this concept of leading with empathy,
Speaker 2: not sympathy, Like I feel like when you're sympathetic of someone,
Speaker 2: you're like, oh, beck are you okay, Like that must
Speaker 2: be really shit. Oh I feel so bad for you. Instead,
Speaker 2: you're leading with empathy and going, well, how can I help?
Speaker 2: Like I can understand that that would be an awful
Speaker 2: situation to be in, but we're like being proactive and
Speaker 2: we're helping. And I think that it's really important to
Speaker 2: reframe that because so often you can be like, I
Speaker 2: feel so bad for you. That's not what that person needs.
Speaker 2: Like I can almost guarantee, Beck, if you were going
Speaker 2: through that bankruptcy journey and I said, oh my god, Beck,
Speaker 2: I feel so bad for you, you'd be like thanks, bitch,
Speaker 2: do you know what I mean? Like you'd be like cool,
Speaker 2: Like that doesn't help me. It just reminds me that
Speaker 2: my situation is not good, yeah, and that it's trash,
Speaker 2: Like I don't want that. So I think just making
Speaker 2: sure that you're leading with not making the person feel
Speaker 2: like their situation is that bad, more leading with like, oh, Beck,
Speaker 2: no stress like keeps. Some people go through bankruptcy. My
Speaker 2: mate went through it and they're fine now, Like it's
Speaker 2: those things that can help you feel more empowered instead
Speaker 2: of burdened by what you're going through. And I just yeah,
Speaker 2: So We obviously put that out to the community and said, well,
Speaker 2: what is your two cents? The first question we asked
Speaker 2: was would you reach out to help a friend who
Speaker 2: is in financial trouble even though you weren't meant to know.
Speaker 2: Twenty five percent said absolutely, I'd still help. Seventy five
Speaker 2: percent said no, I've got to respect to their privacy.
Speaker 4: Interesting split.
Speaker 2: Interesting split. I totally get it and I get wanting
Speaker 2: to help. Yeah, I feel like I would really struggle. Yeah, like,
Speaker 2: don't tell me, don't tell me if I'm not meant
Speaker 2: to know, because I suck and I'm really transparent too,
Speaker 2: Like You'll be like, Victoria, do you know about this?
Speaker 2: And I no, No, I've never that's crazy Joseica. Yeah,
Speaker 2: like ask Jess like I can't lie for absolutely trash,
Speaker 2: like it's the worst. The question we then asked was,
Speaker 2: let's flip it, how would you feel if you were
Speaker 2: in financial trouble and a friend who wasn't supposed to
Speaker 2: know reached out. Twenty six percent said I'd be really
Speaker 2: grateful for the help, but seventy four percent said honestly,
Speaker 2: I'd feel betrayed.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 4: In seven of that split is very similar to the
Speaker 4: previous split.
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe same same. So then we said, all right,
Speaker 2: give us your two cents. What are your comments on this?
Speaker 2: And we got more than a few handfuls of them.
Speaker 2: So one of you said, bring up money with the
Speaker 2: friend in a mutual way. For example, Oh, my god,
Speaker 2: have you ever heard of she's on the money? Great?
Speaker 2: We love it. Great suggestion. Someone else said, don't mention
Speaker 2: it because it could blow up the relationship with the confidante,
Speaker 2: who may be their only support. Just like if they're
Speaker 2: the only person that they trusted and then you're making
Speaker 2: them not trust them, Like, that's not good. Someone else said,
Speaker 2: don't come in trying to fix it, but generally just
Speaker 2: talk to your friend. If they don't bring it up,
Speaker 2: then it's your job to leave it. Someone else said,
Speaker 2: maybe do some low key things for them, like invite
Speaker 2: them for dinner and pay. Another person said, why can
Speaker 2: no one keep a secret these days? Literally? Someone else said,
Speaker 2: maybe like a random act of anonymous kindness, drop a
Speaker 2: gift voucher in their mailbox, or have some basic groceries
Speaker 2: de live it.
Speaker 4: That's nice, that's weird.
Speaker 2: Sweet the groceries delivered, I feel like is underrated. Like
Speaker 2: if you've got a friend going through a struggle, having
Speaker 2: the basics dropped at your door. Oh imagine true, imagine
Speaker 2: even just like bread, milk, eggs, all of those things
Speaker 2: that you just like, pantry staples. Yeah, like, oh thanks,
Speaker 2: Like it would take off so much pressure. And said,
Speaker 2: if a friend is in trouble and wanted you to know,
Speaker 2: you'd know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that's very true.
Speaker 2: Then someone else said, this person seems to have a
Speaker 2: really big heart and the drive to help. Maybe they
Speaker 2: should try some volunteering and working in money in a
Speaker 2: different way. And then someone else said, I'd bring it
Speaker 2: up casually, So, for example, I'd chat about the cost
Speaker 2: of living is really hitting me hard and try and
Speaker 2: make it a relatable conversation. I just feel like I
Speaker 2: get it. But I am the type of person that
Speaker 2: if I told you a secret and you told someone else,
Speaker 2: I'd feel betrayed. At the end of the day, I
Speaker 2: think I'd end up more upset that my secret was shared,
Speaker 2: rather than I had the secret to begin with.
Speaker 4: Some good practical suggestions there from people. I like the
Speaker 4: idea of helping anonymously. You're finding it, you know, Oh
Speaker 4: my gosh. I did a click and collect and I
Speaker 4: got someone else's click collect I have all these extra
Speaker 4: groceries I don't need, would you wants?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I think that's a really nice subtle way as well
Speaker 4: to try and help.
Speaker 2: One hundred percent. Well, guys, that's sadly all we have
Speaker 2: time for today. It's been a fun time.
Speaker 4: Sure, it has been a great time.
Speaker 2: But we will see you bright nearly on Monday morning
Speaker 2: for a money dary. And I've got another little bonus
Speaker 2: episode dropping in your ears tomorrow morning, so watch out
Speaker 2: for that. But have the best weekend, guys.
Speaker 4: By guys, bye.
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